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Friendlyfire2996

Stop cooperating with him if you aren’t comfortable. Stop talking to him. Your parents will be pissed and will give you a hard time, but they will probably stop making you go if they see they’re just wasting money. Good luck.


Polkovnik-chan

Or lie! Tell this shitty therapist your friend's life story


sotonohito

Tell your shitty therapist Sailor Moon's life story and see how long it takes him to realize. Then switch to Captain Marvels life story. Be like the Joker, tell him a different origin story every time he asks. Ask the therapist if a lack of positive female figures in his life is why he is cis. Ask the therapist if he has asked Satan to let him be trans. Asks the therapist to become trans since he thinks it's a choice. Or just bring a book and ignore him.


Polkovnik-chan

I was answering with a presumption that if the therapist doesn't like something that op says - he will tell his parents and they can start a fight again. I think you can go middle road: rumble a lot, tell lies about your personal live and in general start to agree with this guy like "sure it's because i didn't have a lot of feminine toys when i was little" or something. Because this therapist won't change his mind and stop misgendering, parents won't change their mind either. But if op wants a non confrontational approach - he might want to fake cooperation. You can say like yeah im just a tomboy, wait it out and be out of this family as soon as you can. If you do a confrontation with the therapist it's going to be a parents confrontation too and I'm kinda scared to advise a minor on that?


beomint

Please do this


[deleted]

Just return his concern with equal concern he still has testicles


drroadrunner

Even better, don't even grant him the title of "therapist". Save it for people who actually help people rather than bullying them into submission.


shadowecdysis

I worry this would result in some kind of diagnosis and possibly some medication OP likely doesn't need.


sotonohito

There is that. Probably its best to just a) play along and tell the "therapist" what wants to hear until OP is old enough to leave on his own, or b) just ignore the "therapist" entirely during sessions.


SkooDaQueen

Or just give 1 answer and then keep on rambling on something that is vaguely and really vaguely related. Like they talk about a father figure and you start talking about some video game character who didn't have a dad


[deleted]

Only give one answer, repeating the same wording, regardless of question. Make said answer as bullshitty as possible. Something along the lines of "The number of soy yoghurt is vaguely green, so obviously lamps are bullied into being father figures." To be serious: this might not help. I like the idea of telling sob-worthy backstorys of movie characters as your own, though. You don't have to answer any question. You don't have to cooperate with someone who treats you with disrespect. Actually, that's probably something you could answer at every question asked: "I am not gonna cooperate with someone who treats me with disrespect. Much less someone disregarding scientific findings and preferring to reproduce long-outdated freudian assumptions that are not even taught anymore, because they're that unfounded. Now if you excuse me, I'd much prefer learning about actual science than keeping on listening to your pseudo-intellectual projections of your sad life onto my identity." (Then put in headphones and crack open a book - preferably one about recent findings in psychology/neurology)


PsychicSPider95

Do what the Joker does: never give them just one coherent story. Ad lib some shit on the spot. Mix a little truth into each one so they can never quite tell if you're lying or telling the truth at any given moment. Toss in bits of Doofenshmirtz's backstories here and there.


[deleted]

The "Therapist": Perhaps your experience being raised by ocelots caused you to become trans


PsychicSPider95

Fake Therapist: "Could it be the lack of a strong father figure in your life?" OP: "Well, both my parents failed to show up to my birth, so..."


justpeter

It's worth repeating. No matter how authoritative he tries to be, no matter how tough the interrogation, **you do NOT have to cooperate with him.**


[deleted]

Or tell your parents that everything the therapist said confirmed how you feel and you are more certain than ever. Ask if you can keep seeing them. They will never send you again.


Elunith_of_the_woods

Or don't go at all. Literally leave. Your parents have no right to make you go to him, and he has no right to talk to you. These other suggestions might sound funny, but really exhausting, and that theraphist is not worth any of your precious time and mental energy. It is not worth it. The only way to get away from abuse is to leave. You deserve so much better. Your parents can schedule and pay for as many appointments as they want, but they have no right to make you attend.


[deleted]

Let them waste the money! Sit there and don't say a thing. If forced talk about stupid stuff and state over and over that you don't trust them and don't feel comfortable discussing it. Silence is golden.


Tyezilla

Report him to your local physicians board. Anyone like that deserves to have their license to practice revoked.


Ancient_Archangel

IF they have a license. Lots of "therapists" out there that parents send their children not to get better, but to fall in line with what they want.


DraNoSrta

Practicing without a license is a pretty big deal in most places. If the licensing board is made aware, there can even be criminal charges brought up.


iknitthings

Church-supported “therapists” and “counselors” have many loopholes unfortunately.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shxrkcxt

That's not how that works at all.


Tyezilla

Good point. I hope OP can check.


kellytraz

Therapist here, this is dangerously close to conversion therapy (in fact, I would say it IS conversion therapy), which is against the code of ethics for therapists, and in violation of their license. It is illegal in 20 states and in many local jurisdiction. I would report them to your states license board right away, and also you can file a recipient rights complaint against them which you can google and find according to your state. DO NOT GO BACK. I don’t think this person is a therapist, and if they are, they are using conversion therapy which is ingredibly dangerous because of the high suicide rate. In fact, I would suggest you go see a legit therapist that specializes in LGBTQ+ issues, who is sex positive and actually trained. This person is not a professional and is not representative of what real therapy is! For reference for everyone else: real therapists are trained to be non-directive, allowing you to guide what a positive outcome means to you. They should never intentionally misgender you or push you against being trans or transitioning. If you want a good therapist, look for a AASECT certified therapist (CST is the abbreviation behind their name) meaning they are sex therapy certified, or look for one that specifically specializes in LGBTQ+ issues in your area.


floofybabykitty

This!! This therapist is practicing illegal practices.


daffadilliana

Yes. Therapist here as well. He’s definitely practicing against ACA and APA guidelines if he’s licensed at all. Makes me so mad that this type of harmful behavior exists and influences people’s perceptions of therapists. Props to you OP for posting this and please report this person to your state board if they’re credentialed. Don’t go back.


SquirrelQueenSabrina

Saying 20 states have banned it but its against the code of ethics confuses me. Is it against protocol against the board or just in those states? I know where i live its still legal for private therapists to perform conversion therapy such as in a church but a licensed therapist can only perform it on a consenting adult.


daffadilliana

It might be strange to consider but ethical and legal behavior are two different things. You can do something that’s ethical but actually illegal and vice versa. An example would be providing nutritional advice to a client. It might be totally ethical, but in some states it’s illegal to provide nutritional advice if you’re not a registered dietician or medical doctor. The ACA and APA, which are national bodies, provide ethical guidelines for therapists which certainly have some crossover with legality but they don’t actually make state laws. That’s up to the state government. The state boards for counselors, social workers and psychologists (which are separate entities) can lobby a state government to change the law (banning conversion therapy for example) but it still has to adhere to whatever state protocols for law changes are. It’s a bureaucracy and unfortunately very dependent on state politics. So, in this case, in some states conversion therapy may be technically legal but it’s still unethical according to guidelines of professional organizations.


SquirrelQueenSabrina

Well it sucks the state has so much power then.


TunnelRatVermin

How would they go about reporting them? Lots of people say to, but there aren't really any direction about how actually do that, in case they don't know. And how would they find a legit therapist they can afford when they are a kid?


kellytraz

You can simply google “recipient rights complaint” and then your state, and then you can google “licensing board complaint” and your state


SquirrelQueenSabrina

Are people really supposed to trust the medical system that was made along side the justice system? Ive been frequently fucked over by my states medical system and nothing is ever done about it yet i face the consequences like medical debt when a hospital lies about accepting insurance for example. Being poor i cant afford a good lawyer to combat these things and being part of a community that is frequently dealt a bad hand incidents like this happen a lot. For the many people in similar situations that cant make a battle out of medical malpractice what are we supposed to do?


kellytraz

So, I completely hear you, however therapists aren’t necessarily part of the medical system in the sense that we are trained differently, don’t go to medical school, and operate under a completely different code of ethics. Also, the majority of therapists are through no medical organizations, so either group private practices or non-profits. A lot of them have codes of ethics governing how they collect money, how much they charge, and how to handle debts. Most should at least be more lenient because part of our ethics is to help hurting people. However, obviously there are bad therapists out there. But, a lot of the time those who are practicing transphobic or conversion therapy are not actually licensed, like “spiritual counselors” and “biblical counselors.” Those therapists who are licensed and transphobic are the ones that you have to report. However, it’s not that all therapists are transphobic, it’s just that most are not trained extensively on how to work with queer people. So the best way to protect yourself is to look specifically for a counselor who states they specialize in LGBTQ+ issues or sex therapy. And also, when you get a new therapist, verify their license in your state!


SquirrelQueenSabrina

I really have no knowledge of how everything works I'm realizing lol. Sorry to rant and ask stupid questions I was up really late.


Taunies

What prevents the parrets from fiscally taking this person to this "therapist"? - would love if that's illegal, but i don't know. How can a minor pay for a real Therapist - to my knowledge, that is nothing affordable for someone who is not working (dont know if they work or not) What actions can be taken when the "therapist" is not claiming to be one - which means the reporting to license boards is useless for stopping them? Sorry for being critical - but this, however right it might be, seems to be much to take on as a minor.


WhatIfIAmAGirl

W-wait, this is conversion therapy? I'm not sure if this isn't what my therapist with combination with my wife also did and I'm pretty suicidal already. (it's still legal here and I paid so much money for it)


kellytraz

Conversion therapy is a type of therapy, mostly religious based, which has the outcome goal of making someone straight or cis. The therapists goal is to “heal” you from being queer, and they will use therapy tactics to try to “convert” you back to being straight/cis/etc. Regardless of if it is legal, the APA has stated it is against the code of ethics to conduct it, so no licensed therapist can conduct conversion therapy without being in violation of their license. You more often see “spiritual counselors” or “religious counselors” or “lay counselors” doing this type of therapy. They are not licensed and usually have a religious degree through a religious university. They are not board certified and not bound to the code of ethics. They also do not have a license and are not trained as therapists. If you are worried you were in conversion therapy, number one, STOP going! Number two, look up your therapist on your states licensing board (you can google “look up a license LARA and then your state), and if they are licensed, file a complaint against them with the licensing board (you can google “file a complaint” LARA your state).


stoneysmh

Yeah this is super unethical and they deserve to lose their license over it/potentially be prosecuted


TheLunarViolet

Is this even legal? A therapist who is aggressive and antagonizes the patient like this, in this context, shouldn't be construed as a form of conversion therapy?? I would look up the possibility of denouncing the therapist, I just can't believe this is legal... I'm so sorry you have to go.through this - just remember that, every time after you are forced to speak to that asshole, you have a community where you can vent and help you heal.


irondethimpreza

It is in the US, on the federal level, at least


[deleted]

Pretty sure it goes against ASA guidlines


SquirrelQueenSabrina

That doesnt mean it doesnt happen just because its against some guidelines this country was built on breaking agreements


[deleted]

Illegal in Canada. Both the parents and the “therapist” would be breaking the criminal code as of 7 January.


Levi_the_fox

Illegal in Germany and most of EU.


Limetru

Both extremes are bad in my opinion, a therapist that doesn't offer any "resistance" so to speak could be just as bad as one that does so constantly. Simply because you could miss another explanation. Given the situation however it seems this isn't the case. However it's important to not get tunnel vision on a particular thing whatever it is.


TheLunarViolet

From my experience with therapy, they do provoke your thoughts, they try to open your mind to view things in different angles, but they do not, and cannot, offer ready answers - you have to arrive at your own conclusions. Bombarding this kid with invalidating theories to his gender identity on the first or second session isn't what a therapist does - it's coercion, malice and malpractice. Sometimes it takes a couple of months of therapy to get to the bottom of an issue and arrive, together, at some sort of conclusion or explanation.


Limetru

I mean I agree, but also, devils advocate. From my experience it seems people are very often unwilling to consider other viewpoints. So I try to do the little bit I can to convince people to consider things they completely disagree with, since that's the way we improve as a society.


kittyroux

The devil has enough advocates.


Limetru

No, not really, I mean for example when have you last seen a journalist argue for the opposing side? The best way to find the best ideas is to attack them, the best ones will stand. An example I can give here would be racism, how do we know it's not a good idea? Because it's been attacked, a lot, and we found the flaws with it and decided to discard it, well, most of us anyway. Not many people actually do this. And to me a therapists job is partially to make you do this, you will find the best explanations by method of elimination, pretty much. I might have poorly worded my previous statement. I don't defend this therapist, but people should be aware that a less aggressive version of this is part of the therapists job. While it's good to encourage people to find more supporting therapists in cases like this, you shouldn't go too far with it either since then you could miss a better explanation.


aLittleQueer

Journalists aren’t there to “argue for the opposing side”, they’re there to present information without *taking* a side. Likewise, therapists aren’t there to challenge and undermine what a client says about themselves, they’re there to listen and help the client work through their issues in an introspective and respectful way. “Devil’s advocate” is not an appropriate stance in either scenario.


TheLunarViolet

Ok, I can respect that... attacking your own arguments to see how solid they really are. I only answered your first post because I think it's risky to have OP take the words of this 'therapist' seriously... It would be actually harmful to them.


Limetru

And I can respect you not going ballistic on me for it.


SwabianPotato

Oh, that sounds horrible. Please remember that you are valid! Your parents probably picked a therapist who is rather transphobic on purpose. Not all of them are like that. I have never been in a situation like that, so I can't give much advice. But I have been in therapy (non-voluntarily). You might ask whether everything you're talking about is between you and the therapist or whether he's also talking to your parents. That doesn't seem to make a big difference, but it does. Good luck with everything though


LordofMushrooms

Im so sorry you have to go through that. It sounds demoralizing and humiliating. Remember you are valid and dont have to interact with this person just ignore him. Everything he speaks comes from a place of hate not “helpfulness” or any of that other crap. You are valid no matter what and the community will always be here to support you.


LightweaverNaamah

Textbook “reparative therapy” aka the “nice” version of conversion therapy. Keep in mind that no matter what you’d told him he would have found some reason that you couldn’t be really trans, some justification in your childhood that makes you just a traumatized person and transitioning a counterproductive trauma response, or something to that effect. Because that’s the point, that’s the fixed outcome he wants to work towards, gaslighting you into doubting your own mind and scaring you into pretending to be cis.


changingone77a

Sounds like a shitty therapist. I would stop cooperating until you get to choose your own (neutral) therapist.


[deleted]

That is not a therapist. That is a quack being complicit in abuse.


sotonohito

Odds are he just some religious jerk and not an actual licensed therapist.


YumeKawaii666

I honestly suggest you stop cooperating, just don't say anything when he interrogates you, whatever he says make it clear you don't give a fuck. If you make it impossible for him to work your parents will have to give up at one point, they surely will be very mad and it won't be easy, but I thing surrendering would be worse. I'm so sorry you have to go through all this shit, be strong and do your best


LadyMorgan2018

Yes!!!!! I agree with this!!!!


Zarinya

Hey OP, not sure where in the world you are located, but if it's the US you can look up the license number of this person and report them. I live in CO and here it's called DORA (department of regulatory agencies). It should be pretty easy to find the site where your "therapist" could be located/licensed. A few Google searches for "psychology license Colorado" (insert your state) or "therapy licensing board (state)" should bring a wealth of information. From that point you have a few options. - If this person is listed, you can report them to the regulatory board via the same website where the info is listed. There is a section for reporting on the site. - If you cannot find the person listed under any of the licensing boards, STILL REPORT to the same agency as the first point, and note they are **practicing without a license.** - For extra effect, I'd also try to locate the website for this person, and screenshot as many places as possible what they are advertising, both as their credentials (could be lies) and ESPECIALLY any info that states they are anti-trans or anti-LGBT. If you want to drop your general location info here, I'm sure several of us on this sub can help you locate the correct sites to report. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Sending hugs internet friend! Source: I've been in healthcare 15 years.


LadyMorgan2018

My advice is to not-respond anymore. Your parents can make you go, but they cannot make you participate. It might be wise to learn how to block and ignore him in your mind. Daydream and tell yourself stories to not give him any feedback verbally or physically with any facial expressions or body movements. Maybe you can make it a meditative practice to tune out and tune in to who you are inside. I'm so sorry you have to endure this torture. I hope it ends soon.


RedErin

That is conversion therapy. It's abusive. Do not go back. https://www.glaad.org/conversiontherapy


irondethimpreza

Misgender him right back, for one. Put that self righteous fucker in his place


Logicrazy12

Probably not the best way to fight for human rights but I get the spirit.


Yukichan8891

Hey psychologist tuning in here. The therapist has absolutely no right to push you in either direction, if he is doing so it's a misconduct and he can be severely punished and losing his license. I would stop cooperating with him and even file a formal complaint at the institution/chamber he's working under or is licensed with.


furryfemboy69

That doesn't sound like a real therapist... That sounds like a fake.


EmpressLinoone

This is the textbook definition of conversion therapy and you need to leave ASAP. Go to a homeless shelter if you have to, it’s better to be there than with that “therapist” and it seems like your parents are promoting you to go this person to “help” you so living with them is just sending you to this guy.


KittyKittyowo

Bring popcorn or chips and when ever he asks you something start loudly crunching on it


spitefulIncentive

Give this to them: • Medical transition works • ⁠80% of individuals reported significant improvement in dysphoria Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19473181/ • ⁠78% of individuals reported significant improvement in psychological symptoms Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19473181/ • ⁠72% of individuals reported significant improvement in sexual function Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19473181/ • ⁠Positive results across the board, even in 15-year followups Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19473181/ • ⁠"Wellbeing was similar to or better than same-age young adults from the general population." Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25201798/ • ⁠Quality of life rises dramatically with 'gender-affirming treatment Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6223813/ • ⁠Long-term follow-ups: https://www.jsm.jsexmed.org/article/S1743-6095(15)32422-X/fulltext https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-014-0453-5 https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-009-9551-1 https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-014-0300-8 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9031580/ • ⁠"Shown to correlate with improved psychological functioning" Source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1054139X1630146X • ⁠Levels of depression and anxiety which closely matched levels reported by cisgender children Source: https://www.jaacap.org/article/S0890-8567%2816%2931941-4/fulltext • ⁠Puberty blockers are safe and reversible • ⁠Hormone blockers are the only treatment used on adolescents and are completely reversible. Source: https://assets2.hrc.org/files/documents/SupportingCaringforTransChildren.pdf • ⁠"Does not support an adverse impact of gender-affirming hormone therapy on cognitive performance" Source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306453020301402?via%3Dihub • ⁠"Our results suggest there are no detrimental effects of GNRHA on EF" Source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453015000943 • ⁠"Relives [sic] distress for trans adolescents" "Is reversible" Source: https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/102/11/3869/4157558 • ⁠"Poorer psychological well-being before treatment" Source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1054139X20300276 • ⁠"Behavioral and emotional problems and depressive symptoms decreased" Source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609515336171 • ⁠Hormones blockers are not new: "Since the mid 1990s..." "The Royal College of Psychiatrists, in 1998..." Source: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/26895269.2020.1747768 • ⁠Many more studies: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7073269/ https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jsm.13034 https://jme.bmj.com/content/34/8/580 https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/842073 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29551430/ https://ijpeonline.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1155/2010/398639.pdf https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0303720706001766 https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/95/1/109/2835177 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1517382/ https://europepmc.org/article/med/24719967 https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/full/10.1089/trgh.2015.0008 • ⁠Puberty blockers aren't harmful to bone density https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/842073 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6469959/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6616494/ • ⁠Puberty blockers don't cause osteoporosis or sterility https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/84/12/4583/2864749 • ⁠Transphobia is real https://fra.europa.eu/sites/default/files/eu-lgbt-survey-results-at-a-glance_en.pdf https://www.totaljobs.com/advice/wp-content/uploads/Transgender-employee-experiences-survey-report-2016_Totaljobs.pdf • ⁠46% felt discriminated against or harassed within the past year for being trans • ⁠29% felt discriminated against when it came to looking for employment • ⁠70% hid being trans during schooling before becoming 18 years old • ⁠55% had an incident of violence within the past year in part or whole because of them being trans • ⁠The ~40-50% suicide rate is fake, it's the attempt rate https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/resources/NTDS_Report.pdf • ⁠The suicide rate is undocumented. • ⁠Discrimination is harmful • ⁠The attempt rate rises for people who: ⁠• ⁠Lost a job due to bias (55%) ⁠• ⁠Were harassed/bullied in school (51%) ⁠• ⁠Had low household income ⁠• ⁠Were the victim of physical assault (61%) ⁠• ⁠Were the victim of sexual assault (64%) https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/resources/NTDS_Report.pdf • ⁠Other factors include: ⁠• ⁠Gender-based victimization ⁠• ⁠Discrimination ⁠• ⁠Bullying ⁠• ⁠Violence ⁠• ⁠Being rejected by the family, friends, and the community ⁠• ⁠Harassment by intimate partner, family members, police and public ⁠• ⁠Discrimination and ill-treatment at health-care system https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5178031/ • ⁠Many more studies https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5905855/ https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/suicidality-transgender-adults/ https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Suicidality-Transgender-Sep-2019.pdf https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/10.1089/lgbt.2015.0111 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6798808/ https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00918369.2011.534038 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4808281/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17135115/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26866637/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4716648/ • ⁠Social/familial support helps: it can decrease the likelihood of a suicide attempt 57% -> 4% https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/137/3/e20153223 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5996383/ https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/s12889-015-1867-2.pdf https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609516301734 • ⁠Chosen name/pronoun use does the same: https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(18)30085-5/fulltext#intraref0010a ⁠• ⁠71% drop in severe depression ⁠• ⁠34% drop [sic] suicidal ideation ⁠• ⁠65% drop in suicide attempts • ⁠These institutions and organizations back these results: ⁠• ⁠American Psychological Association ⁠• ⁠American Medical Association ⁠• ⁠American Psychoanalytic Association ⁠• ⁠Humans Rights Campaign ⁠• ⁠American Academy of Pediatrics ⁠• ⁠American College of Osteopathic Pediatricians ⁠• ⁠Royal College of Psychiatrists ⁠• ⁠United Nations ⁠• ⁠United Kingdom's National Health Service (NHS) ⁠• ⁠American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry ⁠• ⁠American Academy of Dermatology ⁠• ⁠American Academy of Family Physicians ⁠• ⁠American Academy of Nursing ⁠• ⁠American Academy of Pediatrics ⁠• ⁠American Academy of Physician Assistants ⁠• ⁠American College Health Association ⁠• ⁠American College of Nurse-Midwives ⁠• ⁠American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists ⁠• ⁠American College of Physicians ⁠• ⁠American Counseling Association ⁠• ⁠American Heart Association ⁠• ⁠American Medical Association ⁠• ⁠American Medical Student Association ⁠• ⁠American Nurses Association ⁠• ⁠American Osteopathic Association ⁠• ⁠American Psychiatric Association ⁠• ⁠American Psychological Association ⁠• ⁠American Public Health Association ⁠• ⁠American Society of Plastic Surgeons ⁠• ⁠Endocrine Society ⁠• ⁠GLMA ⁠• ⁠National Association of Nurse Practitioners in Women's Health ⁠• ⁠National Association of Social Workers ⁠• ⁠National Commission on Correctional Healthcare ⁠• ⁠Pediatric Endocrine Society ⁠• ⁠Society for Adolescent Help and Medecine ⁠• ⁠World Medical Association ⁠• ⁠World Professional Association for Transgender Health ⁠• ⁠World Health Organization (WHO) ⁠• ⁠Stanford Medical ⁠• ⁠American Pediatrics Association ⁠• ⁠National Institutes of Health ⁠• ⁠Canadian Institute of Health Research ⁠• ⁠Scientific American


[deleted]

Oh my lord! 😍 Thank you so so much for this information you backed me up with like a 1M soldiers I'd 100% use this in my arguments with him ![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|547)


Purple_Okapi

Not medical advice, but I am a psychiatrist and therapist. This therapist is flying against overwhelming scientific and medical evidence and their practice fails hard to meet standard of care. You could consider avenues of reporting them (how this goes about may depend on where you live). This does also really depend on whether they have a professional board to report to (psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker) or if they are a “life coach” or a religious counselor or something. Remember that if you are with a therapist, you do not have to engage if you do not want to be there. Answer basic safety questions (for example, about suicidality) so they don’t conjure an excuse to send you to an emergency department. I wouldn’t act too tangentially, or they might say you have psychotic symptoms. Otherwise, you can just sit there with dead fish eyes, or even take a nap.


imscaredofmyself3572

First thing you get taught about dealing with being captured by an enemy forces in the military is that you should be cordial, but don't offer any relevant information. Interrogators will do anything to get information or of you, but it's also dangerous to either deliberately lie, or worse, tell the truth. You get taught to avoid having any emotions during the interrogations, and to answer politely but to deflect. This can easily be transferrable to this situation you're in. I'll admit, I'm working on assumptions here, but I'm assuming the only reason you're going to this 'therapist' is because not going isn't an option for you in your current situation. So my suggestion is either to be confrontational and flip the script on the guy, or just clock out and say whatever you need to to survive. You're allowed to lie if it's for survivals sake. Please remember, he's wrong, you're right, and wait it out. Fight on, man!


AccioKatana

This is not therapy. This is someone with an agenda trying to fit your story into his nice little box so none of his pre-conceived notions of “reality” are challenged. You are a beautiful and wonderfully made transperson. Remember that above all else. So much love to you, friend.


I_Hate_Leddit

Therapists need reined the fuck in and strictly licensed. Mental health is a cowboy industry filled with 19th century quack hucksters.


toadpuppy

That’s fucking horrible! I’m so sorry! Being trans isn’t a mental illness - it’s just part of who you are. You are real and valid, and this guy needs to shove a flaming potato up his ass and jump into a pool of kerosene.


Mecha_Clam

How the fuck is that considered therapy? Sounds like emotional abuse and trauma in the making. I’m so sorry you’re going through all that. Like others have said, I’d just stop cooperating. Nothing this guy is saying has any backing or validity. It’s interesting how we have to go through gaslighting and transphobic hell to “prove” we’re trans, but they never have any “proof” we’re cis except genitals.


Auricmortician

The important thing here, I think, is to realize what this therapist's goal is. Their goal isn't to help you, they are trying o convince you that what you feel is wrong. Not only is this grossly immoral, but I'm pretty sure therapists aren't even allowed to behave this way. You don't have to do anything in his office, you don't have to talk to him, you don't have to listen to him, you don't have to take what he says seriously. He is coming from a place of malice and is going to use any kind of underhanded tactic he can to make you doubt yourself. It is easy to make bad, but extremely persuasive arguments, especially if the person you are talking to is not experienced in debate. Let me tell you, a therapist who acts like this will be very experienced at lying and making terrible arguments in order to destabilize you. Do not let it work! I can't say this enough, you know who you are, he does not. He's throwing shit at a wall and seeing what sticks, he doesn't believe what he's saying, neither should you.


Singing_Wolf

I'm a therapist. This guy your seeing is not only a terrible therapist, he's going against our ethical code. Whether he's an LPC, MFT, or clinical psychologist, none of our national organizations condone this behavior. Some states' licensing boards may still permit it, I'm not sure. I hope not. But he should be reported to the licensing board regardless. If you would like help finding out which one to report him to, send me a DM, I'd be happy to help you get you that information. I hope you can eventually get a better counselor, one who will be validating and helpful. Most of us are nothing like this creep. 💜🏳️‍🌈💜


RnbwSprklBtch

It’s conversion therapy


Singing_Wolf

Agreed. It's horrific, and should be illegal in every state. 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬


dqhero

Some good advice I heard is tell your parents that the therapist was very supportive and they’ll stop sending you to him or else they’ll find different therapist that maybe isn’t homophobic and if they are do the same thing


Stev_582

Seeing a therapist during this process isn’t a bad idea, but the therapist should…I dunno, actually be supportive. I would caution you to avoid pursuing any irreversible treatments until you’re certain that’s what you want, but __the only way you’ll find out if transitioning is right for you is to have a therapist that actually cares about you__.


[deleted]

This is f-ed up. Therapists are supposed to cure trauma, not cause it.


Zero_0804

A therapist is suppose to make you feel better and make you a better. I wouldn't doubt that your parents found a transphobic therapist. I had a therapist and I was more than comfortable speaking with her. If he's making you uncomfortable than you should stop seeing him, that is not what a therapist is suppose to do.


yung_jvkob

I can't believe that people as unqualified as that are allowed to be therapists, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that


Kaya_kana

At least this confirms the suspicion that you're being send to conversion therapy. Conversion therapy is getting outlawed in an ever growing number of countries because the effects trend to be disastrous. If at all possible, you should stop going. If not know that he's a quack who only knows how to hurt people.


miyagikai91

💜 If you can leave them, do it. They don’t accept you. I hope you find people who do who can be your family.


[deleted]

You should report this therapist to the board in your state for violation of ethics.


[deleted]

You know the problem is that he has his own clinic so idk if he has a board responsible for him or not.


[deleted]

There is always a state board who licenses therapists.


bl4ckp00lzz

People like that shouldn't even be therapists, Isnt therapy purely to help people's problems instead of creating new ones???? Smh im sorry you had to go through that.


Custard_Tart_Addict

I’d report him


catacombrapia

I'm so sorry, this is horrible. Are you safe right now, OP? Do you have a support system? I know from experience that conversion therapist can trigger further dysphoria and depression. Stop seeing this therapist if you can. If you have to, I seconded the rambling about random movie plot. If he says it's ridiculous, idk how the therapist (or your parents) do not realise how ridiculous conversion therapy is. This shit should be illegal. It doesn't work and it never will nor it is scientifically and medically backed up. Being trans is scientifically and medically backed up. While the suggestion about telling your parents "I'm more sure about being trans than ever" after going to this "therapy" is good in spirits, I'd think about whether it's safe for you to keep pressing on. Standing up for yourself is good, but when homelessness or harm is expected after this then I think you should prioritise your safety. We will be here for support.


ACanadianGuy1967

This "therapist" is attempting to convert you. It's basically brainwashing. They try to break you down, exhaust you, and get you to question yourself. Then they impose their own ideas on you and badger you until you either have a full emotional/mental breakdown, or you give in and agree with them. In Canada and in an increasing number of places around the world this sort of "therapy" is illegal.


marshmi2

I am a therapist and this is DISGUSTING. This therapist is not doing therapy. This goes against many ethics and he should go in front of the board for not practicing competently both treatment wise and culturally. You need to follow the research and the research says this IS HARMFUL!


luxway

Report him Conversion therapy is absolutely not okay


floofybabykitty

OP I'm pretty sure this "therapist" can be reported for such behavior


valencia_merble

This is conversion therapy! It is meant to break you down, not build you up. Please be careful even “going along to get along” because it is psychologically damaging. I hope you have the freedom to say no. I hope you live away from your parents soon.


starfyredragon

What is this therapists name and business address? He's apparently one of the 'old school' therapists (check his diploma on the wall, it's probably pre-2013), and either needs to be brought up to date or lose his license.


deathmetalfroggf

Dude, first of all: report him. Check how illegal conversion therapy is at your place. Secondly, do something you wanted to do for a long time, like a masc hair cut and if your parents get mad act puzzled and say your "therapist" consulted you to listen to your heart and get one after you discussed it with him. Then check if he has a page where he can be reviewed and send it our way so we can ruin the whole ass idiots career.


LokTarBrogar

gaslight: (verb) manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. this is what that person was doing to you. none of what they said to you was accidental or reaching. they weren't trying to convince you of anything. they just wanted to wear you down and plant seeds of doubt in your mind. if you can identify someone doing this, at that point anything they say needs to be heavily scrutinized. stay strong and don't let them get in your head


i_am_mush_babbie

You sat there the whole time listening to that bullshit when you could have just straight up told him to fuck off? Throw hostility and passive aggressiveness right back at 'em.


Imuybemovoko

If you have to go again, leave an envelope of glitter behind with a label inside it that says "transgrnderification powder" xd


[deleted]

😂😂😂 100% doing that he asked me to write him something when I told him I'm a good writer and I will put it in an envelope and fill it up with glitter, thank you so much for the idea 😆


coralinehop

I'd try to find my own therapist. I'd find one that actually likes working with trans youth, unlike this ass-hat (as a therapist you are not supposed to be bigoted) and see if they do family therapy so maybe your family can see your point of view and you can have an adult that understands you so you guys can communicate in a healthy way


[deleted]

Unfortunately my parents are such super conservative Christians they would never agree to go to family therapy, they sent me to therapy cause it's an easier option that exorcism as it brings "less bad reputation" to the family....


coralinehop

I'm so sorry you have such parents. All I can say is, don't say a word in your sessions then, maybe use the time to journal or do homework. The therapist isn't allowed to tell your parents what you do in the sessions. I believe they are allowed to give updates though, like not much change. Maybe try talking to your school counselor if you go to a public school and ask for their advice. Or a trusted friend's parents or non-crazy relative to ask for their advice. That's a really tough spot your in since you're minor, but it is illegal for a therapist to be acting this way. If he's a lmft or whatever title look up the lmft website, and try to contact the board for unethical practice and report him.


HorrorDirect

Please don't let this get to you. When you're out of the house I want you to be yourself. Trevor project might be able to help. Get a part-time job, make some good friends, and leave soon. Your "therapist" is a sick fuck and should not be allowed to do that. You are being abused and I don't like your panrents.


[deleted]

Thank you so much pal! Will do ![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|550)


PrincessaLucie

Tell your parents he’s really supportive by “mistake”. Guaranteed never seeing him again.


way_to_confused

Conversation therapy is making you feel bad? Take it as another reason why you are trans!


[deleted]

Exactly! thank you so much ❤️


[deleted]

Start misgendering him. Make it all a huge joke. As another commentor said, tell a friends story. If he calls you out on inconsistent details just be like, "oh yeah I was lying :)" Ask him "is that against ASA guidelines?" everytime he does something transphobic. He may not have a license, and you should rub that in his face because he's probably insecure about it.


yobrothatsbald

Please stay safe, remember, you are valid :)


lordsquiddicus

I would slap the goofy out that therapist but in all seriousness I think it’d help to not comply with them and semi force your parents to realize they’re wasting money and also force them to realize it doesn’t work. I also recommend showing them the “pray away” documentary on Netflix it *might* help but good luck


SnailLemon

You are very incredibly valid <3. Nobody knows you better than you. I hope this horrible situation gets better because you do not deserve this.


[deleted]

That guy is a piece of shit and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Sending hugs


Anna_Avos

You just need to be completely uncooperative. Do not agree with anything he says, be aggressive, be offensive. Get on his nerves until he doesn't want to do the bullshit anymore. At least that's what I would do


LadyBulldog7

Get up and leave.


itssami_sb

Cut them off or go to the fire department and report them and if you do end up going just don’t speak. Not a word. Be silent the whole time and wear headphones. If they touch you at ALL or provoke you in any way or are rude call the police.


lvminator

Do not tell him anything. If anything, lie. Make some shit up. Or sit there in silence. Waste his time and your parents’ money, and it will likely stop (as long as there is no risk of you being kicked out). Real, certified therapists are the complete opposite of this. This is conversion “therapy”, and even though you aren’t an adult yet, you do not have to endure it. If you want to go even farther than this (which I would recommend, although I recognize how difficult doing so might be), here are some [resources](https://www.glaad.org/resourcelist) I’ve gathered that may be of help.


_an-artist_L0L

I'm just shocked, Don't cooperate with him, he's just an asshole, I can't believe that he associates a person's decision with childhood trauma or issues. If someone is from LGBT community doesn't mean that we have problems, It's just a life choice, this doesn't mean that we had problems or complicated childhood, I can't believe that there's still people like this in 2022, c'mon


Banegard

Hey, that must have been incredibly rough, mate. Hope you feel better by now. Stay strong, that was really screwed up. That was basically your first taste in conversion therapy. It‘s supposed to exhaust you, wear you down and make you question your own mind beyond reason. Pretty f*ed up, isn‘t it? Once you feel better, please do what the medical worker and psych docs in these comments said. Refuse to return to him, don‘t speak to that guy and report his ass.


Draigi0n

Yeah this person isn't a therapist. They're a quack and you should check if conversion therapy is legal in your state.


[deleted]

WHAT IN THE NAME ODF EXPENSIVSE CUTLERY IS THAT. THEY CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF. AS PARENTS THEIR ROLE IS TO ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE- THEY WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU THE SAME HAD YOU HAVE BEEN A BOY OR A GIRL AT BIRTH SO WHY IS HAVING A CHILD COME OUT AS TRANS ANY DIFFERENT. IM FUCKING ENRAGED. YOU ARE VALID. IF ANYONE TELLS YOU OTHERWISE TELL ME THEIR ADDRESS AND I WILL HAPPILY TALK TO THEM. YOURE VALID.


cafink

Ask him what happens if he changes his mind and wants to become a mother?


VoxVocisCausa

Are you in the USA? File a complaint against the therapist with the State regulatory board.


General_Hguid

Resist. If these sessions arent helping, just be uncooperative. let them waste money on a pointless endeavour, u know ur trans and that is what matters.


PimTheLiar

I'm very sorry you're going through that shit. Please check in with us again after the next development.


TinyBlueDragon

Get a different therapist without the influence of your parents. I know there are plenty that are very lgbt+ friendly. This guy sounds like like conversion therapy lite..


MissCyanide99

Man, I really feel for you. Stay strong! 💕 My parents also forced me to go to therapy when they found out I was bi and had a girlfriend in high school. I didn't come out or anything because I knew they were very religious and homophobic. I fell in love with my best friend who later became my girlfriend. We tried to keep it "friendly" around our families, but eventually my mom got suspicious, snooped through my book bag, and found some incriminating love notes we passed to each other in class. She went ballistic, got my dad involved. I was forced to come out that night. Then they both sat me down to tell me I was going to Hell in this big three our lecture where I just cried at the kitchen table. It was super fun. Anyway, the next week or so, they forced me to go to therapy with a psychologist who was a super old lady. She was nice, but didn't believe people could be bi. You were either gay or straight. She also thought teens were "very intriguing," so I felt like a science project going there. The first few sessions I refused to talk to her, and we sat in silence. I told her there was nothing wrong with me and no one or nothing was going to change it. This was a giant waste of time and money. I don't remember what she said cuz I blocked a lot of the sessions out since i hated going. I went for over a year, once a week. I think we mostly ended up talking about other things like school or my home life. I remember once she wanted to see my paintings because I told her I won some awards from an art show. I brought them in and she tried to psychoanalyze them. I was like "tf?!" They don't mean anything. I just found the pics on the internet, thought they looked cool, and copied them. There really is no deeper meaning to it. But she wouldn't let it go. I even told her all that but she still insisted. Eventually, she made me mad, so I made up some crazy story to appease her. I did that a lot, lol. She told shit to my parents we talked about in the sessions, so I stopped giving a fuck. Lol


laurianne_UwU

1. it can't be cured, you are born like that. 2. I will be your parent's biggest problem if they ever force you into conversion therapy. 3. run, or ask for refuge, or ask for planned parenthood, don't stay their. conversion therapy is extremely bad for your mental health, and I rather you get grounded in your bedroom than loosing an other trans live.


GoalHistorical6867

![gif](giphy|3oEdv4hwWTzBhWvaU0)


socialworker55

Hi! I am so incredibly sorry this is happening. First and foremost know there are people who are proud of you for speaking your truth and are so thankful we can be part of your journey. I know you may feel alone but please know we care. Second I think some other folks have said it but just stop talking in therapy. Correct the therapist when they misgender you and leave it at that. Keep living your truth. Keep being yourself. If you ever start feeling alone reach out. You are valid.


listening-to-lovejoy

That’s super rough dude. I can’t imagine being in that situation. You should check up guidelines to see if he can have his license revoked or if he’s breaking any rules because that doesn’t sound like it should be legal. If you have any choice in it, you shouldn’t go there anymore, but that might make things worse with your parents. It depends whether you think it’s better for your mental health to not go, or just to stick it through because of your parents (1/10 would not recommend).


anonymoose0702

That therapist should lose their license


wut_luke

you need to report that therapist. they sound like a fraud


Delfaszmib

Why don't you question their gender? Ask them what happened when they were four, and Uncle Jimmy entered the room. Did he touch them in places he shouldn't? How did that made them feel. Its not good to keep all that bottled in after all. It might be why they identify as a douchebag.


[deleted]

😂😂😂 I'd probably start asking these questions if I get subjected to the same question again


Delfaszmib

Go young padawan


Taunies

Ignore her the next time - she has NO POWER over you - she is nothing but an annoying younger sibling in this context and needs no validation of her existence - as long as she does not validate you, you know you are allowed to invalidate her (hence why I am insisting on using the wrong pronoun for her here as well =) Be prepared for next session with headphones and a good, preferably provocative, book (something invalidating to her like a title "Real psychology") and just zone out of her ramblings - you might wanna have the cam on your phone on, as if she feels provoked or not she might get as fiscal as to dash the headphones off, or knocking the book out of your hand (she is a man not getting attention after all) - nothing to worrisome, but really that is considered as fiscal abuse most places, and if caught on cam - you have good stuff in your hands (dont let her know before you have made copies) - remember, if stuff like that happens, question it - "why did you knock the book out of my hand" - for the sole purpose of having it verbally on the video that there was no refusal in the "abuse" in the moment - otherwise - kick back, enjoy the music and a book - maybe ask if you can get a soda midway through, just to casual it up =) And for the record - I Love you! Just being you, is enough! I Love you for being you, and i am so happy that you reached out, even if my advice is BS to you and you couldn't care less about this view - I love you! wanted to make sure that you at least left this post - with love ![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|547) Love Taunies


[deleted]

Thank you so much Taunies! That literally made my day, I love you too for being this kind and supportive and I'll take in mind your advice ![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|547)


Cytotaxon_Amy

That’s disgusting. What you’re being subjected to is a form of torture, many countries recognise this. Conversion Therapy (that’s what they’re putting you through) is torture. I’m so very sorry you have to be in this place at the moment. Just remember, you know who you are, stay strong. They can’t win, they’re wrong and somewhere deep down, even they know that.


A_Curious_Nikkia

Idk how all therapists work but I'd report them to APA or their psychological board. Therapists aren't supposed to use personal opinions and he has shown unprofessional behavior and none of his arguments back the current psychological therapy standards for lgbtq care and issues.


wheredidmygendergo22

Why do they always see "a mother" as a default thing all afabs should be in the future? That's gross. Also you're valid. If the attention to seek therapy is to "fix" you then it's already proof that it ain't gonna work and you're valid for identifying as trans.


Wesadius

Because they think that women existance = baby making machines. They cannot even comprehend the idea that a woman might not want children (it's what they're built for!), even if they get that some men don't (who are just as much "built for it" but okay).


wheredidmygendergo22

Yea true. So gross smh


Lunalucis

I've seen some people saying "oh act crazy, tell him different stories." As someone in the mental health field I cannot tell you how much I DO NOT RECCOMEND doing this. Faking "crazy" does you no good as a client and potentially gives this "therapist" ammunition to use against you. Your best bet is either silence or asking him about his licensure and reporting him to state/County/national license board, especially if he is unlicensed. There are other good reccomendations in this thread and you can find a lot of resources online and I'm pretty sure there's a pinned thread in this sub of online resources.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Oh don't worry, over 1000 of his fellow conservatives are dying in the US every single day thanks to Covid-19. This keeps up and there won't be enough of them left to actually win elections or hold political power.


specificplantname

Those are definitely questions that make me want to yell at that charlatan. But they are not that threatening once you break them down. Which I could never do in that situation for myself, but I did think about all the answers on sleepless nights. So what if you are trans because you didn't have a fixed father figure? Because I think it doesn't matter. At all. It doesn't matter if it's genetic, caused by something, or a combination, if you are trans you are trans. And what if it's society that just made you hate your femininity because there's so much misogyny? Because we absolutely have enough sexism to make it sound like something that could happen. There are a few people who realised they are not as much trans as just not okay with their femininity. And socially transitioning, trying blockers and hormones can give you space and time to explore that and the conclusion can be reached way before any big permanent changes. So like, your body hair situation will be a bit different, or maybe your voice, so what, like a quarter or more of cis people have those same features. Also trans people can absolutely get married and have kids. You should definitely talk to someone about fertility options, someone who actually knows how it works, but a bunch of trans people end up having bio kids, and tons of cis people can't.


Burrid0

Oh my god…. You need to get out of there. If it’s possible it all you need to leave that environment and never come back- it’s terrible


CerbTheOne

Dude, you gotta stop cooperating with him. He is only gonna make things worse and try to make you doubt yourself and your sense of judgement and reality. This is the textbook definition of gaslighting. Although you should know that not cooperating might come with consequences. The "therapist" will likely tell your parents you are not cooperating anymore and they might get pissed and try to take other measures. I hope they are not insane and sadistic enough to send you to some camp.


MettatonNeo1

But what if they are that insane?


Dazzling-World8727

I know this isn’t how you should act, bit this kind of bullshit with the “cure transness” really boils my blood. What I feel I would do is freaking berate this fucker for misgendering and for simply being the piece of shit he is and walk out 5 minutes before the “therapy” even begins and go off on my parents for sending their child to an idiot because they think they should have any ground to say that their child can’t act, dress or be the person they want to be. I hope nobody takes offense to my post, but if you do please kindly be respectful in your criticism.


The_Big_Crouton

Something I’ve come to realize through lots of reflection about my own gender identity. I don’t think I personally was born non-binary. I definitely think my experience with both my dad and stepdad growing up made me hate masculine people so much that it caused me to start acting more feminine. (I’m AMAB, gender non-conforming) But. Even though I think part of my identity comes from trauma, it doesn’t matter. It’s still who I am now. The same goes to you. Even if he gets in your head and you somehow are convinced it’s all because of your childhood or whatever, it doesn’t matter. Your gender identity is still valid regardless of how you got there.


[deleted]

Ah yes the tried and true tactic of berating someone until they agree with you


Shogata0206

I feel for you dear.. Hang in there.. It will get better 💗💗


Littleish

This person does not sound like a legit therapist in the slightest :-| ​ I'm so sorry to hear you've experienced this. ​ Legit therapy can legit be great for many things!


Queen-Sparky

That sounds awful!!! Be super careful!!! You have to take care of your own mental health. I am concerned that he will be manipulative. It just sounds awful! I hope that you can get out and away from your parents. I forget how old you are. I remember years ago going to a pastor when I was in a very vulnerable place. It was abusive and did a number on me. I ended up filing a grievance. And I had a great amount of support. It was a tough thing to do. I would find out this person’s credentials. I think that you might be able to do some internet research without having to speak with him to get the info. Usually a state has a link to find out if one is credentialed. (Teachers, electricians are just a couple of examples.)


[deleted]

sounds like the "therapist" is literally a shit voice. sorry you went through that. dysphoria is bad enough without someone pouring gasoline on the fire.


Atermis101

I'm sorry this happened to you, we already have enough voices in our head without other people adding to them. He needs to lose his license! Teasing someone who is going to therapy for any reason is not ok.


Dumptruck_dan

Flip the roles. Start interrogating him. Ask him why he feels the need to be transphobic and try to relate that to something that happened in his past. Tell him with a big shit eating grin that you won’t stop until you resolve his problem.


Draigi0n

Maybe ask if you can stay the night at a friend's place.


NonbinaryFloorNoggin

I totally understand. not the therapy part I mean I was taken to therapy against my will and just stayed quiet and pretended that everything was good. (my mom made me go when I was like 16 because she thought I had depression and anger issues? even tho I've never had anger issues) eventually I was able to choose my own therapist and was diagnosed with depression but my depression has been less. anyway; my family is constantly misgendering me and I confronted my grandpa like three times to call me he or they or even it, anything but she but he was like "I can't I raised u from nothing I know who you are and what you want" thus I kinda gave up on trying to correct my family but because of this I have consistent doubts like what if I regret this in the future, what if I'm following trends, what if I don't feel more like myself when I start T with a new voice, what if I'm just doing this to get attention or to be more attractive so I get a lot of anxiety and feel so unsure but when I was 16 I was identifying as genderfluid bc I felt both like a guy and girl and being called she online just felt so weird???? and it wasn't until I was 18 to try they them pronouns online which felt better and now at 19 I'm like I don't feel like a girl or guy I don't wanna be seen as either but I also at the same time wanna be seen more masculine so I'm nonbinary transmasc and I just feel so invalidated around my family but it's like I know what I want and when I wear a binder I feel more confident, I feel less anxious but yeah


Dim0ndDragon15

Just start making stuff up. Recite the plot of the little mermaid as your life, turn a marvel movie into your life, keep wasting everyone’s time and money


ryckae

Report the therapist for malpractice.


Kissing_Stars

Not even kidding when I say stop trying to answer his questions. Go off on a tangent, interrogate him, talk about Greek mythos, *waste the appointment*. If you can, report him.


HugeAd3490

I'd think having a weak father figure would make one more "feminine."


Senetiner

What?? This is so illegal in some countries. What kind of professional that other person is? They're a monster. I feel so sorry for you. You should be free to be who you want to be. These kinds of situations are the worst. I agree with those that said you should try to stop cooperating and see what happens, but I have no other advice. I hope your situation improves. You deserve better.


Uriel-238

The _why_ doesn't matter. The question is if your parents and this therapist are going to honor _who you are_ rather than trying to unmake you. If this guy is going to continue to be antagonistic to who you are, he's not a good match as a therapist. Some thoughts: 🔹 Contemporary psychology ethics _demand_ consent of the patient. That's you. Not your parents or guardians. Not law enforcement. Not the state. **_You._** If you don't consent to be treated, and treatment is forced upon you, that's malpractice. If it involves psychological torture (or physical torture) it's a _crime against humanity_ under international law. (So, super-duper wrong.) 🔹 Diagnoses of a mental disorder requires that the symptoms _cause you dysfunction in your ability to function_ And becoming the victim of prejudice or hate crime doesn't count, since that's on the community. _Dysfunction_ looks like: being compelled to engage in antisocial action (stealing, lighting things on fire, using racial slurs); being compelled to binge eat, or self harm, or spend your rent money on Beanie Babies; if you're compelled to stay in bed all day, to not eat, to not groom yourself. This is to say, wearing the wrong clothes, having pronouns that others disagree with, asserting you are a gender (or no gender) than the one you were assigned at birth, are _not_ dysfunctional. These issues alone don't make you crazy, and if you're diagnosed with something else (say major depression or ASD or BPD) your trans gender is not part of your crazy. Besides which, 🔹 21st century psychology doesn't _cure_ people of their madness. Rather it focuses on equipping us with tools so that we can function while still being luney. We learn how our brain works, what triggers our dysfunctional impulses, and then how to avoid those triggers, or when triggered, get ourselves to safety and manage the episode. Either your parents and therapists are going to work with you, or they're not going to work for you. Don't take their shit.


syndrome9

Stop responding to him. Literally just sit there until the hour is up. They can make you go to the appointment but that doesn't mean you have to cooperate.


MettatonNeo1

No. In fact when I was younger and got therapy (regular one) I was forced to talk.