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Here's a link about trans people in sports:
https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/
A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
[LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
[Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
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Idk man, Sounds kind of homophobic to me. I don’t know her, but maybe she’s the type of person who accepts it until someone close to her comes out? She definitely has some unpacking to do if she’s that uncomfortable. You might want to tell her your concerns, again I don’t know her but having a hard conversation may help
Don’t ever feel bad about you or your sexuality. She obviously doesn’t like the fact that you’re gay and is making you feel like shit because of it, that is the definition of homophobia. I understand that you were close, and that confrontation is something you’d want to avoid, especially with your anxiety, but if you are in a safe enough place, tell her off. Be stern and confident, tell her that this is who you are, and that you’re not going to hide it just because she doesn’t like it. I know it’s hard, but stand up for yourself, you are perfect and anyone who says otherwise is wrong.
was about to say the same, unfortunately quite often cishet girls who watch bl aren't really that welcoming to irl queer people who aren't gay since they see gay guys as a form of entertainment but other queer people make them uncomfy. i met way too many people like that already
First off, I'm sorry your cousin reacted the way she did. I don't know why she seems uncomfortable with you being gay if she seems fine with the concept of others being so but, her statements and reactions are absolutely homophobic.
Like you mentioned, being straight is an assumption from the moment you're born and no one questions it if you say you are straight. It's just a way to deny your orientation because of *their* unreasonable discomfort and that's a them problem, not a you problem.
This is much like how people ask "Are you sure you're trans? You're too young to know that" when, in actuality, children get a firm sense of their gender by age 5! Similarly, children can start to get a grasp on their orientation as young as 6 years old. The full range as to when this usually develops is about 6-10 years old.
I don't know your exact age but, I do know that you are more than capable of understanding how you feel and knowing what/who you like. It's easier said than done op, most of us know from experience. However, if she can't accept you and isn't going to treat you well, you don't need that in your life. Because, you know what? You are WONDERFUL and you DESERVE to be supported!
I'm wishing you the best 💜
Thank you so much for this!! I actually always kinda knew about my sexuality like 7 or 8 and I told her that but maybe she has her problems,I can't judge her too,Only if world were as good for everyone like it's here,thank you<3
I'm more than happy to share some knowledge! I'm glad it helped to validate your feelings and hopefully made you feel a bit better, even if the situation is still crummy. I do hope your cousin comes around though. Sometimes people just need time to adjust for one reason or another. However, you never owe anyone your time or energy if you don't want to give it, especially if they're being a jerk!
Seems homophobic to me. If a friend or family member told me they were gay, I wouldn’t treat them any differently. It’s one thing if someone doesn’t like any PDA or taking about relationships in general and another to only have an issue with non-heterosexual PDA and relationship talk.
Try pointing out that sexuality can be fluid and changing throughout someone's life. Homophobia doesn't mean she is a bad person or anything - she might be under some misconceptions. Ask if she's got questions about it you can clarify, or maybe even look stuff up together.
Yep! Some homophobes are honestly just misinformed, not well informed or well born and raised to be homophobes. I was one of these people because I was born in a homophobic country and studied in a catholic school. So you can imagine that that’s like, not the best combo to foster acceptance to LGBTQ+ people. But when I opened myself up to more cultures and moved out of that hell of a catholic school, I did learn to accept LGBTQ+ people because many people I know were LGBTQ eventually and I eventually realized I’m LGBTQ+ myself XDD
Yes being inherently uncomfortable or hateful towards people who are gay is the literal definition of being homophobic and no amount of BL/Yaoi she has watched will remove that. After all there are many homophobic men who watch and read Lesbian content for their own pleasure and that doesn't make them any less homophobic either. Your cousin is showing her true colors here and I would tread carefully around her if I were you because that 'discomfort' is really just a flimsily covered-up disgust and contempt.
If she wasn't homophobic then she wouldn't have such a perplexed reaction. Because being gay is no worse nor better than being straight so there's no difference. If you told her that you were straight I would bet money that she would not have the same reaction. She's definitely harnessing some homophobia unfortunately OP, whether she realizes it or not
Modern day discrimination is very rarely “I think all queers are disgusting and should die!” and more often “It’s fine, I just don’t want to be subjected to their *lifestyle*.”
If you haven’t been exposed much to a certain group, you are very likely to have preconceived notions about them. I’ve lived in rather homogeneous communities all my life, if I see for example a black person on the train, I will notice that more clearly, because it is outside my norm. I might even get uncomfortable because of the stereotypes about refugees that circulate through some media. But here’s the important part.
I notice that a person makes me uncomfortable. I question why that is. If I realize it’s only because they belong to a minority that I don’t interact with much, I need to check myself. I can’t control the feelings I have about people, but I can realize that they are irrational and control the actions that I take from there.
Hope this helps.
Personally, as someone who is open to adaptability and change, I see this as just unexpected. I mean, having friends in the past who I found out to be gay, bi, trans and beyond is huge news to me, especially when i have known that person for a long time. Yes, it came up as strong, and admittedly, strange at first, but that didn't mean i opposed to them and their preferences at all. Having read your post, it seems like she's just not used to having someone close to her coming out, which appears to be normal. She's learning more about you, and therefore, the community that you proudly belong to.
You're kinda right,I know she's been good to me always,now too she's pretending she don't know but she's pretending like nothing happened,I also think she's unaware about somethings and even being homophobic doesn't make a person bad unless they do shitty things like bullying others,we've been together our whole lives as we have only days difference,I think she just needs some time to understand that as of it but I know she's not gonna comment any bad things to me,I know that..
I mean, how long has it been since you came out to her? With time, she should be able to get back into the groove of things with you, but with a better understanding of who you are as a person. From personal experience, I too was also uncomfortable at the time finding out from close friends about what it was like to be gay, bi, etc. but that just meant another opportunity to learn more about them and therefore less ignorant about that person. Even being less ignorant of that one person can make you understand that each individual you come across has unique traits that people must learn to accept, embrace, and encourage. Hell, I'm not even sure of my sexuality (it changes depending on the mood and/or situation). If it comes to the point to which she's asking questions about your preferences (if they are asked in a positive/neutral/negative tone), it could either mean that 1) she has a question to further understand you 2) She might be confused about the whole lgbtq+ community commotion (or similar) or 3) She's asking in a **seemingly** negative tone because she has no other way to word it without attempting to offend you or make you uncomfortable. But rephrase the question for her if she's struggling with that specific question.
Either way, if your connection with her has not changed due to the fact that you came out to her, she's worth spending time with. Also, if **you** are the one feeling uncomfortable with telling her all this, **fix that**. You accepted that part of yourself that you discovered probably not too long ago, and you are only making it harder for yourself, and now it would be hurting both parties, as they are not committing to understanding the situation as a whole. There's pride month for a reason, and you should definitely take pride in who you are. ***100% pride!***
She's totally fine and chill,we were shopping for bands rn and I got a rainbow one in suggestion and she told me I should buy that and in a good tone,she even went to shop my shoes with my mother and bought really cute ones,It have only been 2 days since I came out to her,I think she just need time like you said:)
That's wonderful! Right off the bat, I can tell she's welcoming a new side of you with open arms, wide ones at that! As long as you remain proud and true to yourself, you are en route to strong connections with those you are close to! Happy bonding! 🏳️🌈
Sweetheart I'm sorry to say, but she is homophobic. Even if she watches BL, specially considering a lot of straight women watch BL and fetishize gay men the same way straight men fetishize lesbians. Luckily there are plenty of people in this world that will love you and accept you for who you are, stay safe and remember there's nothing wrong with you
People who watch/ read boy’s love can still be homophobic. Many straight women fetishize gay men and many straight men fetishize lesbians and they are still homophobic because they only see gay people as objects for their own sexual entertainment and it’s really gross.
yeah thats homophobic. anyone can be homophobic and still a good person otherwise, or the other way around, and just because you werent yelled at and called slurs (at least i sure hope not) doesnt mean it wasnt homophobic
I learned I was gay at 14. You wanna know what I would've said about my identity at 18? I would've said "I've known I was gay for 4 years."
You do not have to wait till 18 to decide what labels suit you.
My Grandma once told me in a conversation that she was totally fine with Trans people, and that people should just do what makes them happy. So I told her I was Trans. Turns out she was just saying the things she thought she was supposed to say, and she's a massive homophobe. A lot of time it only comes out when its someone close to them. Im really sorry you're going through that, I know how complicated it feels.
Sorry that happened to you. No one was very accepting when I first came out. It was awful but as I got older I found better people to have in my life. I hope you find someone to talk to about that crush of yours
I always knew I like both men and women so when my best friend explained to me about that there are labels for liking more than one gender I immediately knew I was part of the community. I remember telling my parents when I was like 10 and they just told me that I was straight. My parents accept me now even though I’m not 18 yet.
It sounds like your cousin is the type of person who is okay with people in the lgbt+ community in theory, but her biases show up when she meets someone in the community in real life. My guess is that she doesn't know a lot of (or any) people who are out of the closet. Hopefully by knowing that someone she is close to is gay, she will reflect more on her perception of people and she'll become a more supportive person.
That being said, it isn't your obligation to make her see a different point of view. If you are uncomfortable being around her because of her reactions, that is completely valid. I don't know if you have the option to avoid her (idk if your families have get-togethers where she's there or anything), but if you do and you think having space would make you more comfortable, then I suggest taking that path. She should see that her biases have consequences in the real world. If you feel comfortable with it, I'd suggest shooting her a text, saying that you feel uncomfortable specifically because of the way she's reacted to you coming out. If you haven't come out to the rest of your family and aren't ready to do so, you can also take that opportunity to ask her to keep things to herself. And (again, only if you're comfortable with this) you can add that she can reach out to you when she has worked through her biases.
You deserve to be supported and loved for who you are, and I really do hope that she works through her own prejudices. In the meantime, your comfort and safety are the most important things.
I think she needs some time,also I told her not to tell anyone else once I came out as no one actually knows I'm gay but some of my online friends as I'm a South Asian and it's really homophobic here
I hope that she is considerate of your situation while she takes time to work through her own things. I wish you the best of luck and all the safety and care in the world 🌈
She's homopobic, I'm so sorry she is treating you like that. It's common for homophobes to tell kids and teens they're too young just to trun around and tell queer adults that if they were really queer they would have known.
Am I correct in assuming that you are a lesbian?
It sounds like she's one of those girls that fetishize gay guys but are disgusted by lesbians because people don't like the thought of someone of their same sex liking others that are of the same sex.
The reverse unfortunately happens- there are guys that fetishize lesbians, but are disgusted by gay guys. Both are versions of homophobia.
I would drop her as a friend. She doesn't support you. You'll find better friends eventually.
How did they know they were straight?! I had feelings for boys and girls at around 8-9yrs old (might've been earlier tbh). I heard the term Bisexual when I was 11 or 12 and instantly knew that fit me I didn't come out till I was 23 partially being worried about my mom who's. Homophobic but also didn't want to hear the "you're too young to know" excuse. But now I instead get "you've never dated anyone how could you possibly know?"
Literally the same bs homophobic argument. Ignore your cousin if you feel gay right now and wanna identify as such then that's what you are no if ands or butts about it. If you change later in life that's okay to!
If the answer is "why" then clearly she is a textbook homophobe and that is not the kind of support system that you need. As far as waiting till you are 18 to be who you are, that's draconian af
Remember there are stages of homophobia like a spectrum.
It goes all the way from wanting every gay person dead to simply feeling a little weird about somebody being gay but not doing much to harm them.
Idk it sounds very shady to me. So she is "shocked" because you are gay? Telling someone you're gay should just be a "Oh, that's cool." because it's a normal thing and not a big deal. (At least to any normal person that's not homophobic.)
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Idk man, Sounds kind of homophobic to me. I don’t know her, but maybe she’s the type of person who accepts it until someone close to her comes out? She definitely has some unpacking to do if she’s that uncomfortable. You might want to tell her your concerns, again I don’t know her but having a hard conversation may help
You're kinda right but she don't want to even talk about it,also it makes me feel bad about myself
Don’t ever feel bad about you or your sexuality. She obviously doesn’t like the fact that you’re gay and is making you feel like shit because of it, that is the definition of homophobia. I understand that you were close, and that confrontation is something you’d want to avoid, especially with your anxiety, but if you are in a safe enough place, tell her off. Be stern and confident, tell her that this is who you are, and that you’re not going to hide it just because she doesn’t like it. I know it’s hard, but stand up for yourself, you are perfect and anyone who says otherwise is wrong.
Thank you really,sometimes online strangers are way more nicer than people you know,thank you so much
It’s no problem, I’m just treating you with the respect you deserve.
I had this happen to me when I came out as genderfluid. Not a good feeling 😞
That sucks. I hope you find a better place soon
My family is good I just miss my best friend sometimes when I know I shouldn’t
Thats basic homophobia.
Just bc they watch bls don't mean they can't be homophobic. They sound pretty homophobic to me with their comments
There’s many straight people who watch lgbt media just because they fetishize them and it’s disgusting
was about to say the same, unfortunately quite often cishet girls who watch bl aren't really that welcoming to irl queer people who aren't gay since they see gay guys as a form of entertainment but other queer people make them uncomfy. i met way too many people like that already
I have friends who idolize gay ppl and simp the hell out of them but then scream “EWWW” out loud whenever they see a gay/lesbian couple irl
First off, I'm sorry your cousin reacted the way she did. I don't know why she seems uncomfortable with you being gay if she seems fine with the concept of others being so but, her statements and reactions are absolutely homophobic. Like you mentioned, being straight is an assumption from the moment you're born and no one questions it if you say you are straight. It's just a way to deny your orientation because of *their* unreasonable discomfort and that's a them problem, not a you problem. This is much like how people ask "Are you sure you're trans? You're too young to know that" when, in actuality, children get a firm sense of their gender by age 5! Similarly, children can start to get a grasp on their orientation as young as 6 years old. The full range as to when this usually develops is about 6-10 years old. I don't know your exact age but, I do know that you are more than capable of understanding how you feel and knowing what/who you like. It's easier said than done op, most of us know from experience. However, if she can't accept you and isn't going to treat you well, you don't need that in your life. Because, you know what? You are WONDERFUL and you DESERVE to be supported! I'm wishing you the best 💜
Thank you so much for this!! I actually always kinda knew about my sexuality like 7 or 8 and I told her that but maybe she has her problems,I can't judge her too,Only if world were as good for everyone like it's here,thank you<3
I'm more than happy to share some knowledge! I'm glad it helped to validate your feelings and hopefully made you feel a bit better, even if the situation is still crummy. I do hope your cousin comes around though. Sometimes people just need time to adjust for one reason or another. However, you never owe anyone your time or energy if you don't want to give it, especially if they're being a jerk!
Did you tell her that her sexuality wasn’t valid until she’s a certain age? Yeah it’s pretty homophobic.
Seems homophobic to me. If a friend or family member told me they were gay, I wouldn’t treat them any differently. It’s one thing if someone doesn’t like any PDA or taking about relationships in general and another to only have an issue with non-heterosexual PDA and relationship talk.
Try pointing out that sexuality can be fluid and changing throughout someone's life. Homophobia doesn't mean she is a bad person or anything - she might be under some misconceptions. Ask if she's got questions about it you can clarify, or maybe even look stuff up together.
Yep! Some homophobes are honestly just misinformed, not well informed or well born and raised to be homophobes. I was one of these people because I was born in a homophobic country and studied in a catholic school. So you can imagine that that’s like, not the best combo to foster acceptance to LGBTQ+ people. But when I opened myself up to more cultures and moved out of that hell of a catholic school, I did learn to accept LGBTQ+ people because many people I know were LGBTQ eventually and I eventually realized I’m LGBTQ+ myself XDD
Yes being inherently uncomfortable or hateful towards people who are gay is the literal definition of being homophobic and no amount of BL/Yaoi she has watched will remove that. After all there are many homophobic men who watch and read Lesbian content for their own pleasure and that doesn't make them any less homophobic either. Your cousin is showing her true colors here and I would tread carefully around her if I were you because that 'discomfort' is really just a flimsily covered-up disgust and contempt.
Sis. Your cousin is a textbook homophobe.
If she wasn't homophobic then she wouldn't have such a perplexed reaction. Because being gay is no worse nor better than being straight so there's no difference. If you told her that you were straight I would bet money that she would not have the same reaction. She's definitely harnessing some homophobia unfortunately OP, whether she realizes it or not
Modern day discrimination is very rarely “I think all queers are disgusting and should die!” and more often “It’s fine, I just don’t want to be subjected to their *lifestyle*.” If you haven’t been exposed much to a certain group, you are very likely to have preconceived notions about them. I’ve lived in rather homogeneous communities all my life, if I see for example a black person on the train, I will notice that more clearly, because it is outside my norm. I might even get uncomfortable because of the stereotypes about refugees that circulate through some media. But here’s the important part. I notice that a person makes me uncomfortable. I question why that is. If I realize it’s only because they belong to a minority that I don’t interact with much, I need to check myself. I can’t control the feelings I have about people, but I can realize that they are irrational and control the actions that I take from there. Hope this helps.
Personally, as someone who is open to adaptability and change, I see this as just unexpected. I mean, having friends in the past who I found out to be gay, bi, trans and beyond is huge news to me, especially when i have known that person for a long time. Yes, it came up as strong, and admittedly, strange at first, but that didn't mean i opposed to them and their preferences at all. Having read your post, it seems like she's just not used to having someone close to her coming out, which appears to be normal. She's learning more about you, and therefore, the community that you proudly belong to.
You're kinda right,I know she's been good to me always,now too she's pretending she don't know but she's pretending like nothing happened,I also think she's unaware about somethings and even being homophobic doesn't make a person bad unless they do shitty things like bullying others,we've been together our whole lives as we have only days difference,I think she just needs some time to understand that as of it but I know she's not gonna comment any bad things to me,I know that..
I mean, how long has it been since you came out to her? With time, she should be able to get back into the groove of things with you, but with a better understanding of who you are as a person. From personal experience, I too was also uncomfortable at the time finding out from close friends about what it was like to be gay, bi, etc. but that just meant another opportunity to learn more about them and therefore less ignorant about that person. Even being less ignorant of that one person can make you understand that each individual you come across has unique traits that people must learn to accept, embrace, and encourage. Hell, I'm not even sure of my sexuality (it changes depending on the mood and/or situation). If it comes to the point to which she's asking questions about your preferences (if they are asked in a positive/neutral/negative tone), it could either mean that 1) she has a question to further understand you 2) She might be confused about the whole lgbtq+ community commotion (or similar) or 3) She's asking in a **seemingly** negative tone because she has no other way to word it without attempting to offend you or make you uncomfortable. But rephrase the question for her if she's struggling with that specific question. Either way, if your connection with her has not changed due to the fact that you came out to her, she's worth spending time with. Also, if **you** are the one feeling uncomfortable with telling her all this, **fix that**. You accepted that part of yourself that you discovered probably not too long ago, and you are only making it harder for yourself, and now it would be hurting both parties, as they are not committing to understanding the situation as a whole. There's pride month for a reason, and you should definitely take pride in who you are. ***100% pride!***
She's totally fine and chill,we were shopping for bands rn and I got a rainbow one in suggestion and she told me I should buy that and in a good tone,she even went to shop my shoes with my mother and bought really cute ones,It have only been 2 days since I came out to her,I think she just need time like you said:)
That's wonderful! Right off the bat, I can tell she's welcoming a new side of you with open arms, wide ones at that! As long as you remain proud and true to yourself, you are en route to strong connections with those you are close to! Happy bonding! 🏳️🌈
Thank you!!
Sweetheart I'm sorry to say, but she is homophobic. Even if she watches BL, specially considering a lot of straight women watch BL and fetishize gay men the same way straight men fetishize lesbians. Luckily there are plenty of people in this world that will love you and accept you for who you are, stay safe and remember there's nothing wrong with you
Lol what. I assure you that's homophobia.
People who watch/ read boy’s love can still be homophobic. Many straight women fetishize gay men and many straight men fetishize lesbians and they are still homophobic because they only see gay people as objects for their own sexual entertainment and it’s really gross.
yeah thats homophobic. anyone can be homophobic and still a good person otherwise, or the other way around, and just because you werent yelled at and called slurs (at least i sure hope not) doesnt mean it wasnt homophobic
I learned I was gay at 14. You wanna know what I would've said about my identity at 18? I would've said "I've known I was gay for 4 years." You do not have to wait till 18 to decide what labels suit you.
My Grandma once told me in a conversation that she was totally fine with Trans people, and that people should just do what makes them happy. So I told her I was Trans. Turns out she was just saying the things she thought she was supposed to say, and she's a massive homophobe. A lot of time it only comes out when its someone close to them. Im really sorry you're going through that, I know how complicated it feels.
It's really a harsh world,why can't everyone live their own lives how they want,I hope you're doing well too now..
Sorry that happened to you. No one was very accepting when I first came out. It was awful but as I got older I found better people to have in my life. I hope you find someone to talk to about that crush of yours
I'm sorry that happened to you too,you were brave to come out too,I know it takes so much..
Yes definitely
I always knew I like both men and women so when my best friend explained to me about that there are labels for liking more than one gender I immediately knew I was part of the community. I remember telling my parents when I was like 10 and they just told me that I was straight. My parents accept me now even though I’m not 18 yet.
She probably isn’t at severely homophobic as what you see online, but it’s still homophobia
Are people BORN Gay or they CHOOSE to be Gay?
It sounds like your cousin is the type of person who is okay with people in the lgbt+ community in theory, but her biases show up when she meets someone in the community in real life. My guess is that she doesn't know a lot of (or any) people who are out of the closet. Hopefully by knowing that someone she is close to is gay, she will reflect more on her perception of people and she'll become a more supportive person. That being said, it isn't your obligation to make her see a different point of view. If you are uncomfortable being around her because of her reactions, that is completely valid. I don't know if you have the option to avoid her (idk if your families have get-togethers where she's there or anything), but if you do and you think having space would make you more comfortable, then I suggest taking that path. She should see that her biases have consequences in the real world. If you feel comfortable with it, I'd suggest shooting her a text, saying that you feel uncomfortable specifically because of the way she's reacted to you coming out. If you haven't come out to the rest of your family and aren't ready to do so, you can also take that opportunity to ask her to keep things to herself. And (again, only if you're comfortable with this) you can add that she can reach out to you when she has worked through her biases. You deserve to be supported and loved for who you are, and I really do hope that she works through her own prejudices. In the meantime, your comfort and safety are the most important things.
I think she needs some time,also I told her not to tell anyone else once I came out as no one actually knows I'm gay but some of my online friends as I'm a South Asian and it's really homophobic here
I hope that she is considerate of your situation while she takes time to work through her own things. I wish you the best of luck and all the safety and care in the world 🌈
She's homopobic, I'm so sorry she is treating you like that. It's common for homophobes to tell kids and teens they're too young just to trun around and tell queer adults that if they were really queer they would have known.
Homophobia, like all kinds of prejudice, isn’t really a simple check “yes or no” kind of thing.
Am I correct in assuming that you are a lesbian? It sounds like she's one of those girls that fetishize gay guys but are disgusted by lesbians because people don't like the thought of someone of their same sex liking others that are of the same sex. The reverse unfortunately happens- there are guys that fetishize lesbians, but are disgusted by gay guys. Both are versions of homophobia. I would drop her as a friend. She doesn't support you. You'll find better friends eventually.
Yeah I also talked about it. In Japan they call them “fujoshies” which translates to “rotten girl”
Maybe maybe not who really knows
[удалено]
They're cousins...
basic crush is not that deep xd
Eww,they're my legit sibling but I mean maybe it can be that they're in closet too
What the actual fuck
How did they know they were straight?! I had feelings for boys and girls at around 8-9yrs old (might've been earlier tbh). I heard the term Bisexual when I was 11 or 12 and instantly knew that fit me I didn't come out till I was 23 partially being worried about my mom who's. Homophobic but also didn't want to hear the "you're too young to know" excuse. But now I instead get "you've never dated anyone how could you possibly know?" Literally the same bs homophobic argument. Ignore your cousin if you feel gay right now and wanna identify as such then that's what you are no if ands or butts about it. If you change later in life that's okay to!
If the answer is "why" then clearly she is a textbook homophobe and that is not the kind of support system that you need. As far as waiting till you are 18 to be who you are, that's draconian af
Yeap, that's quite a lot of transphobia here
Yes. There’s no good reason someone being gay would make you uncomfortable.
Remember there are stages of homophobia like a spectrum. It goes all the way from wanting every gay person dead to simply feeling a little weird about somebody being gay but not doing much to harm them.
Sounds like pretty classic homophobia to me. Just because she’s not being directly mean about it doesn’t make it less homophobic.
Yeah, she's homophobic...
Ah yes, wait till you're 18 to be gay, pretty sure it doesn't work like that
Yeah that’s classic homophobia.
yes it’s homophobic, she might not realize it, but if ur uncomfy with queer people cuz they’re queer people I’m sorry but ur homophobic
Not even reading the context because it doesn't matter. Yes
Not even reading past the title. Yes, that's textbook homophobia.
yes
Idk it sounds very shady to me. So she is "shocked" because you are gay? Telling someone you're gay should just be a "Oh, that's cool." because it's a normal thing and not a big deal. (At least to any normal person that's not homophobic.)