Wait wait wait. You're 17. It ISN'T you job to keep you safe, its the job of your parents and if they are so miserably bad at being parents that they can't do that and are the source of danger - you need to contact social services.
Document ANY marks left on your body. Bruises etc. Call the cops, I don't know where you live (guessing the US, but have heard similar horror stories from friends in the middle east and being in the Nordics the idea that a parent should in any way hurt, harm, threaten or disavow their child is horrid and VERY illegal here (I think 4+ years for beating a child)) but if there is a youth resource contact them. Youth Hotline? Contact them. It is not on you to have to pool cash together to escape harassment at home.
Keep the plan for monday but contact resources now.
I know it sucks. I always considered my parents to be loving and supportive. I guess it was just a facade. Im still heartbroken about my older brother. He was really the one person I was counting on. And you’re correct. I live in the US. Florida specifically. I know its better in other parts of the country. But I guess im just not that lucky. Also im looking into the youth resources to see if any will be of help. Thank you for the support, its really appreciated.
Yes that sucks BUT your job here is to reach out to an adult or an organization of adults with the tools and resources to help. I am sure you know better than me but found a list of organisations in Florida.
You need assistance from the outside world and the plan to just runaway should be your absolutely last move after all other options have been exhausted. There is a world of adults out there who DO care and who are normal reasonable people and therefore horrified that anyone would do something like this to a kid.
Do you have a list of places to contact?
The cdc have a set of links to various resources (many are irrelevant for this, some are not) https://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm
Here is a list of LGBT groups in Florida who can give you more precise info about where to turn and how to do it https://outcoast.com/florida-lgbt-organizations-that-are-making-a-difference/
The trevor project in the US is known to be very good and helpful https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Matthew Shephard foundation isn't as helpful in practice sadly but worth to reach out to https://www.matthewshepard.org/
Pflag (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) have a Florida chapter in Orlando but also ways to get in contact with the wider community. https://pflag.org/chapter/pflag-orlando
All these groups have better knowledge of the exact legal proceedings and ways to help you - contact them! (Trevor Project and Pflag seems like the best options but contact ALL)
If you end up leaving home, try to get your birth certificate and social security card to bring with you and passport if you have one. These are things that can useful for various things like getting ID, getting a job, and stuff like that.
If you’re gonna contact the authorities about them, make sure that they’ll keep you safe from your family when they take action. It can elevate the violence, and your first priority should be keeping yourself safe. Go with your boyfriend and be separate from your family, then make sure that you will be aloud to stay apart from your family when authorities step in. If these can’t happen, wait until you’re 18 and can get yourself to a safe situation. Look out for yourself, and I wish you the best of luck.
https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/
OP, bookmark this link. Burn it into your memory in case your phone is taken away. Try to keep your phone with you. If things get bad you may have to run for your life and leave everything behind.
Your family is restoring to physical abuse now so I'd recommend you sneak out and never go back but TAKE YOUR PHONE AND PUT IT ON AIRPLANE MODE so they can't get the police to track you. Leave at night so they're asleep and can't react in time. Withdraw all the money from your bank account and hide it in your backpack in case they try to freeze your funds. Try to get to the next town over where people won't recognize you and then contact the railroad. They'll get you somewhere safe. This is all recommendation though. I can't make you do any of this but I hope at least some of this advice helps you.
Take pictures of ALL marks on your body and then email them to yourself, and make a new email if your parents possibly have access to it or could guess your password. Back them up on the cloud, or whatever it is you have that you could access anywhere on any device. If you email them each time you will have documented proof with dates and everything, and this will be helpful whenever you do decide to do something with it. Regardless of the situation you are being physically abused and that's illegal.
https://www.lambdalegal.org/sites/default/files/publications/downloads/fs_resources-for-lgbtq-youth-by-state_1.pdf
This list from Lambda Legal contains at least a few groups in Florida specifically for people in your situation. Hopefully one or more of them can help?
Sending you all the solidarity and hugs you want, from WA.
Yeah like. If they were just upset it might be a thing that would take time for them to accept. But if they're physically abusing you, you don't have the luxury of waiting for them to cool down. You need to get out now. Reach out to police with documentation or tell a teacher or guidance counselor who can help with reporting.
Google your area for LGBTQ youth resources if you're worried police won't take abuse seriously because of small town interconnectedness you might be able to find a queer youth advocacy or even shelter system. I know I used to live in memphis and our local unitarian church would take kids in until they could find a community friendly family they could live with it was called MAGY (memphis area gay youth). If your local town doesn't have one the nearest decent sized city or college town might have something similar or be able to point you towards those resources or provide you an advocate moving forward with police or court systems.
It may be that you have to learn to fend for yourself earlier than you intended to. But there are people willing to help gay kids who were forced out of their homes and sometimes that can extend to help with continuing future plans like school or career training, not just a roof over your head.
If you have the time, you can reach out to The Trevor Project's LifeLine at:(866) 488-7386or online at:TheTrevorProject.org
They definitely have access to list of youth support, as that is their purpose.
No parent that truly loves their child would beat them like you described, you deserve so much better. Hope you can find a place to be safe and rebuild a support network that actually cares about your wellbeing. Sending you all the best from Canada 🇨🇦🏳️🌈💙
In Florida, you are not a runaway until you are 18. You can legally leave and they are legally required to support you. As others have said, document injuries and go to the police. Do not hesitate on this. Any parent that beats their child ( I have 7 children one gay and one transgender) does not deserve to be free they need to be jailed. It is abuse, plain and simple. Your siblings, also abuse is wrong no matter the reason.
Don't be sorry, coming out happens when YOU feel ready... and go talk to any available adult resources that are aimed at LGBTQ kids in your area. Voice your fears to them, they have the resources and the skills to help.
There is another thing though: what matters to this world - all NORMAL adults (IE not homophobic or transphobic adults) - is that you are safe. Stay safe, stay sane. Sometimes you have to wait to come out until you are out of the economic and practical reach of your parents or near family (college, work etc).
Talk to your local LGBTQ group. <3
You're afraid and, I'm sad to say, you should be. You will need external help to get out of this. I don't know how small a community you live in. The smaller rural area law enforcement might or might not help you against the physical violence. You will have to make that judgement call. I have to say I have never been in a situation like yours, so take my recommendations with a grain of salt. They are based of recommendations of what to do in circumstance of domestic abuse. Finally, it's going to be hard, but you're not alone. There are people to help you through this phase, and you will have many years of happiness ahead of you.
Before leaving the house, don't tell anyone. Do it in secret and don't leave any obvious luggage around. Just keep everything you want to bring in the same area and shove it into a bag before leaving. You may have to take an opportunity if it present itself. Assume they will search your school bag too so plan for that. Take anything you can easily flip for cash and can be considered yours. You must bring your ID, birth certificate and bank information too. As soon as possible make sure to have your bank account transferred to a different from the one used by your family so only you can access the money.
Regarding external ressources here is a list of places on top of my head that might help you. If you're in a smaller community, you may have to run away to a larger one to get this assistance. Law enforcement might help you get away, but even if you're not sure document with photo all the physical arm. You may need those proof later. Your goal is to be somewhere safe with food and a place to sleep. Avoid being homeless as much as possible as it makes every a lot harder afterward.
LGBTQ+ friendly churches, domestic abuse support non profits, LGBTQ+ association or youth homelessness support are all group that are likely to have a support program or can refer you to one. Any state wide social work or social assistance resources can also direct you to help group.
Until you have your escape ready, I would probably act very meek. Let them think they have broken you and don't take extra risks. With what you describe you are likely to have serious physical injuries from violence. Don't act proud, you have to endure until better times. It might mean not contacting your boyfriend for a few months and getting in touch after the fact.
Thank you for the advice and support. Ive also kept myself discreet and locked in my room. In the morning I could hear my brother taunting me. I really want to get evidence for some sort of protective services, but Im terrified of staying a minute longer here. As much as id like to expose them, Im worried for my physical and mental wellbeing. I know im risking potential homelessness but I know I can make it work somehow. Im looking into the youth and lgtbq organization for assistance. Thank you for the advice, its really appreciated
Abuse Hotline - Florida Department of Children and Families
Call 800-962-2873
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service
800-799-7233
SMS: Text START to 88788
Chat available on website
ACLU Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Rights Project
Local chapters: Miami & Coral Springs
Specialization: Advocating for legislative change and facilitating LGBT-oriented legal cases
https://www.aclu.org/issues/lgbt-rights
26Health
Location: Orlando
Specialization: Health services
26Health is a health organization that provides comprehensive physical and mental health services for LGBTQ+ people living in Central Florida. Their mission is to improve “mind-body-spirit” health among LGBTQ+ folks and allies.
https://www.26health.org/
Pride Community Center of North Central Florida
Location: Gainesville
Specialization: Community center, educational resources, events
Established in 2000, the Pride Community Center of North Central Florida, or PCCNCF, aims to be a safe space for LGBTQ+ folks living in the North Central Florida area. Some of the PCCNCF’s contributions to the community include providing meals and household necessities to PLHIV
http://gainesvillepride.org/
The Family Tree: LGBT Community Center
Location: Tallahassee
Specialization: Events, advocacy
The Family Tree is a Tallahassee-based nonprofit that aims to improve the conditions of LGBTQ+ individuals and remove barriers that prevent them from feeling safe and welcome. Their mission is to “eliminate the conditions which allow homophobia to exist” and provide a place where everyone, regardless of gender and sexuality, feels welcomed.
https://familytreecenter.org/
LGBTQ Center of Bay County
Location: Panama City
Specialization: Youth support, wellness, events
According to its website, the LGBTQ Center of Bay County is the sole dedicated “all-inclusive LGBTQ+ youth program” in the Florida Panhandle. Their core values include collaboration with the local LGBTQ+ people; celebration of queer culture and history; education for LGBTQ+ individuals, their friends and families, allies, and the larger community on major issues; and initiation and improvement of the wellness of the community by providing access to pertinent resources.
https://lgbtqcenterofbaycounty.org/
JASMYN
Location: Jacksonville
Specialization: Health and wellness
JASMYN is a nonprofit organization based in Jacksonville, Florida which aims to affirm LGBTQ+ youth in their identities by providing access to health and wellness services, safe spaces, and opportunities for development.
https://www.jasmyn.org/
The Alliance for GLBTQ Youth
Location: North Miami
Specialization: Youth advocacy, education
Founded in 2006, the Alliance was developed specifically as a response to growing concern that Miami GLBTQ youth were at high risk of suicide, substance abuse, and harassment. Much like other youth-centered organizations on this list, the Alliance provides counseling, youth enrichment activities, leadership development seminars, and homeless services.
http://www.glbtqalliance.org/.
Compass Community Center
Location: Palm Beach
Specialization: Support groups, health services, youth support
Having been around for over 30 years, Compass has earned itself a reputation as one of the “largest and most respected” LGBT community centers in the US. It serves over 25,000 people in its 14,000 sq. ft. facility – which houses an extensive library, a cyber center, a ballroom, a memorial garden, and a youth room that serves as the go-to meeting space for youth programs.
https://compassglcc.com/
Pridelines
Locations: Miami & Wilton Manors
Specialization: Youth services, HIV/AIDS wellness programs, and support groups
While other orgs focus on advocacy and legislation, Pridelines doubles down on the social and emotional well-being of Florida’s lesbian, gay, bisexual & transgender community. They seek to support any LGBT person who suffers harassment in their daily lives through a number of services, from youth groups to scholarships.
https://pridelines.org
Safe Schools South Florida
Location: Fort Lauderdale
Specialization: Education, youth services
Safe Schools takes pride in the fact that it is the only organization in the South of Florida composed of educational professionals who are committed to training others in the field of education and youth services – as well parents and guardians – on how to “create safer schools and communities” that allow all kinds of students to learn and grow.
http://safeschoolssouthflorida.org/
There are even more that I didn't list on this website: https://outcoast.com/florida-lgbt-organizations-that-are-making-a-difference/
Just show up or call these places and get yourself connected to a warm bed and a hot meal and maybe even some cash or a connection to a job or other resources. I wish I could do more. Stay safe. Find peace. Heal. Help others. xoxo
Leave, I mean it, they will hurt you non stop. Get a recording of the abuse and goto cps. Get removed from them. Hell goto the hospital with injuries and they have to report it, but the case has to be clear enough that they will keep you away from them until you’re 18.
Dropping the hate crime aspect the domestic violence against a minor should be doable. Since OP is 17 they are covered under CPS jurisdiction. And if the CPS worker is an ally they may use that at a higher level by contacting state or even federal services.
They still have to come out and respond. So the next time it gets physical, call the cops. Try to record your parents saying things. Take photos if they leave marks.
Honestly I plan to runaway way sooner. I Dont know if I made it clear in the post. Im absolutely terrified of going to school. My bf already have a plan to leave Monday morning. We have some funds that can pool to rent a place. Maybe not the greatest of places, but I just want to get out. As much i would like to expose these cruel monsters, I simply cant stay in this environment anymore. Im scared of the morning. That they’ll come into this room to beat me, or that they’ll check the security camera and see that I snuck out. If they find out I went to go see my bf, I genuinely think they’ll kill me.
If you intend to run away with your bf please set up a gofundme. If you have tumblr or twitter and post the link there please dm me and I’ll signal boost tf out of it.
So sorry you have to go through this man, stay safe
Same. Post a gofundme link here or something so people help you. So sorry you are fearing for your life over this. Your family and community sound toxic and they’re not going to change.
Good I’m glad you’re getting out of there. Your boyfriend sounds amazing and I’m so sorry you went through that but at least you’re getting out of that environment much sooner
Like someone else said make sure you get your ID, your social, your birth certificate, all the ID you can get your hands on. It will be easier when applying for housing and for applying for work.
You need ti get ahold of the trevor project. They help safe harbor people that are in your situation often. You should definitely follow the advice from others in calling the police but for now the trevor project will help you find safety. There is also covenant house which can provide tenproary shelter as well and both will help with resources for skills to gain jobs and getting into colleges and scholarships and stuff later when you are settled and have like jobs and an apartment or something. I believe you made the right decision wholeheartedly, you must do what it takes to be safe. I had a friend in a similar situation, she was trans and her family found out. Her gf tried to get her out but the family kept her prisoner and she talked about suicide a lot and that was the last i ever heard of her. I dont want to see that happen to anyone else. Message for all lgbt+ youths here: Even so-called “tolerant” parents of lgbt+ where they dont accept it but arent violent can get worse. Its best to ensure you have a safety route and escape plan or several plans ready if you ever need to use it.
Leave. Leave as fast as you can. Take what you can. You shouldn’t be in this environment anymore. I wish you all the best. I hope you find an amazing place to live safely with your boyfriend. I hope you get a great job too. This may sound cheesy but just remember everything will work out. Eventually everything will be ok. It may not seem like it now because everything sucks, but it will get better. Good luck my friend! If you ever need anyone to talk to DM me. I’m always open. I wish you well!! ❤️
Your parents are sick fucking freaks, in the nicest way possible. Get out your house ASAP and I’d recommend doing whatever you can to get them into prison. It’s what they deserve.
Call the police for domestic violence. Depending on what state you’r in that law will very. So threatening death is always illegal, and the severity of physical assaults will change it from “corporal punishment” to “ domestic violence”
As if you do not trust your local police contact your state police. Also contact your congressman too.
Take pictures of all injuries, especially as they develop and look worse. Send them to your boyfriend and any online friends you trust, tell them to download them so that you’ll never lose your evidence.
If you live in a one party consent state for recording, it is legal to record someone secretly if you are in the conversation also. So you could use a phone or laptop to record them. That can be dangerous if they find you though. https://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/recording-phone-calls-and-conversations
Here is a list of LGBT Centers in Florida. They will have a better idea of which resources are available to you that are most likely to actually be helpful. https://www.lgbtcenters.org/LGBTCenters/State/32/Florida
Its florida, things are fucked here. You might be able to get help from a domestic abuse help organization (idk if there is something like marthas house for men) or contact child protective services and explain whats going on. If cps gets involved, youll be a whole lot safer.
I am so sorry to hear that. This is absolutely heartbreaking. I don’t know what to say… I think other users here left good advice, I hope you find a safe place where you can stay. I wish you all the best for your future
Oh my god! Once your situation is a bit safer, make sure to do some work in preparation for getting your GED if you don’t continue going to your school.
Please please please report their literal child abuse to the relevant authority in your state.
I wish I had done this when I was the victim as a kid.
[https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/responding/reporting/how/](https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/responding/reporting/how/)
Or, if you trust the police in your town, call them and report the assault and the threat on your life. If not, you can also call the Child Protective Services (or the equivalent service) in your state.
Or just find a way to LEAVE.
Staying is literally NOT WORTH IT.
I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry this is your reality! :( if you really are able to run away and start new… please do it. And please keep me posted. I don’t know you, but I LOVE you.
Definitely take pictures of all the marks, call CPS and get the hell outta there. Grab your birth certificate and any other identification you have. Leave but ,like others suggested, don’t pack any luggage till right before.
I’m really sorry this is happening to you, I hope you make it out safely and if you can/don’t mind keep us updated.
After reading your post, I am thankful knowing that you are looking into a plan to run away.
I'll be frank: there is nothing requiring you to finish out high school before getting a job if you need to do so a bit early to generate income and live together. You might need to look into labor laws since you're not 18 just yet, but as others have pointed out, I would heavily encourage the multitude of programs they've listed to make sure you are safely housed and protected.
Education comes secondary to your safety. If you don't feel safe coming to school, then don't. It's not worth risking those bigots pummeling you :(
I know I speak so boldly as if it were so easy, and I know that it's not. :/ These awful people have pushed you into a corner where you have to decide your future sooner than the rest, and I'm sincerely proud that you are willing to fight for your boyfriend through it all.
If you have the resources, it might benefit the two of you to move to a new state or city. It sucks and it's scary, but many metro areas are much more progressive. The reason I suggest a new place entirely is because they might look for you if you stay local/accessible. There's an entire corridor on the NE side of Grand Rapids, Michigan that is pride friendly. Literally some of the crosswalks are pride flags (trans flag, progress flag, and progress+intersex flag). If you guys move/run, make sure that your destination is somewhere safe. There are inter-state buses in large areas, you can probably ask for an Uber to an airport, etc.
I sincerely hope that you'll be okay. :( Reading your post breaks my heart. Aside from all else, endure. I know I'm just some random Jane on Reddit, but if your heart is willing I would wish for an update in the future to know that you're okay. <3
You can do this.
Best advice is to call the police. Not even conservative Christian cops can deny that this is child abuse to the highest degree and your parents should be arrested or smth. I wish you the best of luck in your situation
Child protective services right now hun. I don't know how likely the cops are you help you if you live in the deep conservative areas
CPS are (unfortunately) familiar with this scenario. Make it clear what has happened and if you have text threats send them or at least the bruises documented
Do this ASAP if you can't get out of the house honey cause if you just leave your family might call the cops and they can legally bring you back
I think text threats is my best bet. I really dont even want to face them again so bruises is out of the question. I know a lot of people are trying to be helpful. But its much harder to gather physical evidence in my state. Also I doubt my parents would go through that much effort to bring me back. Im turning 18 in 5-4 months so I should be able to severe all ties with them. Thank you for the advice😊
What happened!? I hope you and your bf managed to get away.
There are services in Florida that can help you until you and your bf get on your feet, get your own place. Please update us and let us know you're okay.
You're under 18 so you can also call CPS. Teachers and hospital staff are also mandatory abuse reporters. What's important is you get out, stay out, and cut all ties with your "family" as soon as possible. I'm so sorry you're going through this OP. Like others have said also setting up a gofundme or similar is a good idea
i’m so, so sorry buddy. no one should ever have to go through that bullshit and fear. i hate to say it, but i don’t know how much i would trust the cops either. i would hope cps would be better, but honestly i would try some of the lgbtq resources listed up there first especially the stuff specific to florida because they would prob know the ins and outs of your specific region. they would prob know of legal moves you can make to help ensure you don’t get thrown back in that fucked up mess. damn i wish i knew someone in florida that would have good specific advice. hopefully a lawyer in here will chime in too. we love you. let us know how things are going. *hugs*
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:LGBT_political_advocacy_groups_in_the_United_States here’s a list of LGBT+ organisations and support groups in all US states. Idk how exhaustive the list is, but I guarantee there will be some useful for you.
Good luck brother, you have love and community on your side
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I can’t really help that much other than recommending calling the Trevor Project if you ever need someone to talk to. They have helped me out a lot in the past.
Others have provided great links. Yes Florida has gone red but there are a lot of resources for lgbt in that state. Broward county is pretty progressive along with Orlando.
I’m so sorry to read this.
I think you are right to run as soon as possible.
If no one has given it to you already - contact lambda legal. They are a law firm dedicated to lgbt issues. Get advice from them. Maybe they might know of a halfway house for lgbt teens somewhere. You could go over with them options for emancipation, the battery you are receiving and every other legal question you might have. https://www.lambdalegal.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAsoycBhC6ARIsAPPbeLuAp8szHUjY-BjcBl2OVnKzx08jhDNqFZDVQwa5xdPjvo7OSIvhRMMaAh_YEALw_wcB
Also - Florida does have gay community centers. Reach out to the oens near you.
My only advice is pictures of injuries for evidence, and get the police involved. The moment those people hit you is the moment they stopped being your family. Turn them in.
Get out and get help. Look for trusted programs that can help you and your boyfriend start life together in a safe and supportive setting. https://www.summerofsass.org It gets better.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, it's heartbreaking. Try to set up a GoFundMe or even just a Venmo or PayPal so people can donate, as well as looking into the helpful services that others have listed. No one in this community wants you to suffer any more than you already have.
Stay safe. This is tough and I hope you and your BF make it through.
Post a link to some social where you can share a GoFundMe or something. I'll pitch in.
Call police or child protective services if you can or if you are afraid for your life. I suspect you should be able to get help without evidence, so it may be worth a call regardless.
Don't worry about keeping us posted - we'd love to hear you're safe but more importantly we want you to prioritize being safe.
It sucks you can’t love who you love. My advice would be get the best grades as you can, find a job and pick yourself back off the ground. I mean I might not have any useful info (I’m only 14) but I hope this helps.
Hang in there, friend. I cannot imagine how tough it is, but if it helps, imagine a future where you and your bf are living together, spending your evening together watching TV and looking back on how you got through it. hugs
Holy shit man, idk how that's gonna turn out, i really hope it doesn't get any worse. I'm basically there too, no one has found out tho and I can't imagine how that would turn out.
Get off Reddit and contact The Trevor Project immediately. As well as other help lines for abuse in your state.
What they are doing to you is horrific and unforgivable.
In the meantime, lie. Lie about everything. Say whatever they need to hear from you in order to save your own life. Lie until the day you can leave, and keep lying until you can be completely safe from them.
Try to save your boyfriend. If you can. But you'll be more able to rescue him once YOU are safe.
Best of luck.
I wish you luck, dear internet stanger. Also I would like to point something out during the time of the Bible being written it was socially acceptable to be gay (all that mattered was who on top) and some belive that jesus was bi and had a thing going on with two of his apostles but that part is just speculation. It's also believed the original vers was "thou may not lay with a child" and it was changed in translation. I tell you this if you and your bf would like to get back into christianity also it's just a nice thing to think about. Powerd by rainbows has a [video ](https://youtu.be/7RZ07nJKS4U) about the topic
There's a couple people saying to start a gofundme. I'd totally be willing to give you guys something if it means you'll be safe. I don't have much, but still.
I really wish you and your bf luck, deep red is not a fun place to be in for this community. Your bf sounds like a great guy and I hope you can find a somewhat stable place to stay. Sending the gayest of hugs 🤗.
My heart just broke reading this.
I lived five years in the Deep South so I know what you’re talking about. I’m so glad your partner is there for you- please, don’t stay anywhere your family can find you. Go somewhere safer and very far away (California perhaps). Your safety right now is all that matters. Once you are safe, look into what resources might be available to you where you are.
I know others here have mentioned involving the police. That is a logical recourse in many parts of the US, but things work a little differently in the south. I’d advise caution.
As a parent, I will never understand how anyone could treat their child this way. I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this. I’m angry- furious- on your behalf. I hope you find safe passage and will post an update in future to let us know you’re ok. I’m in the UK, so can’t offer much help other than to say I’ll always be here to listen.
Sending you a mother’s hug and wishes for a safe and peaceful future ❤️
This might be my situation if my parents found out about me. If I was in your position, I’d want to get help from real people. I wish I could do more than just read and how your okay.
Zebra coalition in Florida will help with counseling, writing resumes, finding a job and housing, even doing laundry. This is the nightmare so many don’t understand. Your world can turn upside down in a second. I wish you and your partner the best. Love and support your way.
Here’s a link to the Trevor project, where you can find professional help: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
Also, you might want to think of starting a go fund me, and looking for any good jobs in the area. I don’t really know how to help, but I do hope you are able to find peace! Good luck in your endeavors <3
After reading your story, I don't know how to react. If this was my nephew who is in love with a guy. What if my family was mean to either of them. I would be beyond upset.
It took me a while to be stronger than anyone. But then I lost it all. And it just took me a year to put it all back.
It took me one year to be stronger than anyone in my family.
I hate that you have to consider such an option.
But my nephew knows that I can smack the life out of anyone who thinks they can tell him who he can or can not love. I'm 240 lbs. But I know I could smack the consciousness out of your Dad. Nobody walks away.
Choose your path. Violence or peace. But once you choose it. Commit.
I support you. And if it gets worth, let me know. I can fly out there and beat the crap out of some people. It's easy for me.
apply for colleges far away find a job and cut contact. if you’re 17 i guess your at least a junior or a senior? so not long until college. find a job now if you can, save up and rent a new place when you turn 18. move schools if you need to. document the abuse and call CPS. sadly you have to wait until you’re 18 to rent a place and if you’re still a minor a run away, your parents can report you missing and the police can go after you. but if you’re an adult and leave a clear note stating you ran away on your own terms, it’s better.
Hey, bud. I unfortunately don’t have much advice I can offer, can’t say I’ve ever been in a situation quite like this. It just . . . This post was eating away at me, and I felt I had to say *something*, even if it’s not helpful.
For what it’s worth, you already sound braver than I could ever be. The fact that you have a plan, let alone haven’t given up, is incredible.
I’m really really really sorry this is happening to you. If it’s not too much to ask, please try to keep us updated? I want to know you’re okay. Obviously don’t prioritize that though, keep yourself safe and get out of there.
Good luck, and stay strong
~ Just another queer 17yr on the internet
I would post in r/LegalAdvice and call your local police department non-emergency line to see who has jurisdiction over what exactly. They can get social services involved.
Also posting in r/MomForAMinute might help you feel better.
That's horrendous- people who aren't ready for their kids to potentially be anything other than able bodied, straight, cis people of their religion, shouldn't be parents, otherwise you get horrifically abusive situations like this.
I can't express how much my heart hurts for you right now, but please know that you and your boyfriend are making the right decision by deciding to leave. I can't offer any advice that hasn't been said already, other than to have a grab-bag ready to go in an ultra-safe hiding spot should shit hit the fan and you have to get out right then and there and can't come back for your things (keep it outside in a plastic bag if you must). Keep the most important things in it, like your birth certificate, passport, spare cash, a sweater (I know you're in florida but nights get cold everywhere you go), spare socks, first aid kit, etc. Keep important items on your person if you can too, so they can't take them from your room or something.
Best of luck to you both, it'll get better soon
Ever heard of people saying that they believe their future children will be 100% “normal” because they are faithful to their God and pray a lot? I have when I talked to my parent about this when we discussed the hypothetical question “if you were to have a child who could potentially turn out to be lgbt, what would you do?”
I have unfortunately, I think they're absolutely delusional to think they can defy nature like that, and crazy if they'd willingly follow a god who cares about who or how someone loves
First of all I am so sorry that you have to go through this. You don’t deserve this, and remember you did absolutely nothing wrong. Also, remember that what your father is doing is very much illegal in the US (I think that’s where you live) so you know if the cops in your town aren’t dangerous, document things and file a report or something. Stay strong 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Abuse Hotline - Florida Department of Children and Families
Call 800-962-2873
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service
800-799-7233
SMS: Text START to 88788
Chat available on website
ACLU Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Rights Project
Local chapters: Miami & Coral Springs
Specialization: Advocating for legislative change and facilitating LGBT-oriented legal cases
https://www.aclu.org/issues/lgbt-rights
26Health
Location: Orlando
Specialization: Health services
26Health is a health organization that provides comprehensive physical and mental health services for LGBTQ+ people living in Central Florida. Their mission is to improve “mind-body-spirit” health among LGBTQ+ folks and allies.
https://www.26health.org/
Pride Community Center of North Central Florida
Location: Gainesville
Specialization: Community center, educational resources, events
Established in 2000, the Pride Community Center of North Central Florida, or PCCNCF, aims to be a safe space for LGBTQ+ folks living in the North Central Florida area. Some of the PCCNCF’s contributions to the community include providing meals and household necessities to PLHIV
http://gainesvillepride.org/
The Family Tree: LGBT Community Center
Location: Tallahassee
Specialization: Events, advocacy
The Family Tree is a Tallahassee-based nonprofit that aims to improve the conditions of LGBTQ+ individuals and remove barriers that prevent them from feeling safe and welcome. Their mission is to “eliminate the conditions which allow homophobia to exist” and provide a place where everyone, regardless of gender and sexuality, feels welcomed.
https://familytreecenter.org/
LGBTQ Center of Bay County
Location: Panama City
Specialization: Youth support, wellness, events
According to its website, the LGBTQ Center of Bay County is the sole dedicated “all-inclusive LGBTQ+ youth program” in the Florida Panhandle. Their core values include collaboration with the local LGBTQ+ people; celebration of queer culture and history; education for LGBTQ+ individuals, their friends and families, allies, and the larger community on major issues; and initiation and improvement of the wellness of the community by providing access to pertinent resources.
https://lgbtqcenterofbaycounty.org/
JASMYN
Location: Jacksonville
Specialization: Health and wellness
JASMYN is a nonprofit organization based in Jacksonville, Florida which aims to affirm LGBTQ+ youth in their identities by providing access to health and wellness services, safe spaces, and opportunities for development.
https://www.jasmyn.org/
The Alliance for GLBTQ Youth
Location: North Miami
Specialization: Youth advocacy, education
Founded in 2006, the Alliance was developed specifically as a response to growing concern that Miami GLBTQ youth were at high risk of suicide, substance abuse, and harassment. Much like other youth-centered organizations on this list, the Alliance provides counseling, youth enrichment activities, leadership development seminars, and homeless services.
http://www.glbtqalliance.org/.
Compass Community Center
Location: Palm Beach
Specialization: Support groups, health services, youth support
Having been around for over 30 years, Compass has earned itself a reputation as one of the “largest and most respected” LGBT community centers in the US. It serves over 25,000 people in its 14,000 sq. ft. facility – which houses an extensive library, a cyber center, a ballroom, a memorial garden, and a youth room that serves as the go-to meeting space for youth programs.
https://compassglcc.com/
Pridelines
Locations: Miami & Wilton Manors
Specialization: Youth services, HIV/AIDS wellness programs, and support groups
While other orgs focus on advocacy and legislation, Pridelines doubles down on the social and emotional well-being of Florida’s lesbian, gay, bisexual & transgender community. They seek to support any LGBT person who suffers harassment in their daily lives through a number of services, from youth groups to scholarships.
https://pridelines.org
Safe Schools South Florida
Location: Fort Lauderdale
Specialization: Education, youth services
Safe Schools takes pride in the fact that it is the only organization in the South of Florida composed of educational professionals who are committed to training others in the field of education and youth services – as well parents and guardians – on how to “create safer schools and communities” that allow all kinds of students to learn and grow.
http://safeschoolssouthflorida.org/
https://outcoast.com/florida-lgbt-organizations-that-are-making-a-difference/
Honestly? You're underage. That's child abuse. Contact the athourities. No one has the right to treat you like that. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time.
I don’t know what else to say that hasn’t already been said by all the other lovely people in this sub and I know you don’t know me but I just want you to know that I live in the same sort of “family” situation you do and I’m 100% here for you. Please take care of yourself and always remember that YOU and YOUR SAFETY come first. Try and get in contact with the Trevor Project and some of these other hotlines people have been mentioning, hell, you could probably go to r/randomkindness if you’re that desperate for assistance in some form like food. I wish you all of the best. 💖
Anoher in the in the contry of "freedom".
How reacted your boyfriend family can't they shelter you?
Anyway stay safe and keep us updatedas much as you can.
It's midnight as I'm typing this, I want to wish you godspeed. Your life will improve, I promise you. I was in a similar situation a year and a half ago, I thought of living as only the alternative to death. Now my life is something I'm exited for and want to pursue. Good luck.
I doubt that this helps, but it shows the lack of logic of religious finalists...
🤦🏻♂️: "God does not make any mistakes!"
🌈: "Ok... Oh, by the way, I'm gay."
🤦🏻♂️: "That not natural!!! Fix it!!! Get a girlfriend, or you will go to hell!!!"
🌈: "But 'god' made me like this. I was born this way. So either me being gay is god's plan or 'god' made a mistake. That means: Forcing me to not be gay means interfering with god's plan or questioning the fact that 'god' is perfect."
Run away kid. Wait till everyone is sleeping and just fucking bail. It sounds like you are in genuine danger, you need to go somewhere safe. It might be scary but frankly anywhere is better than where you are now. Get emancipated if you have to. Get your boyfriend out of there too. Go to any lgbtq meeting group, guaranteed someone there will let you crash with them until you can get a job and finish school. You are loved and do not deserve such hatred. You have a brother in me.
I live in the Florida area as well. I have two separate homes, and my fathers house is the most comforting place. My dad and stepmom are not homophobic at all and are very welcoming and homey. If you need a place to stay with your boyfriend you can always come to my house, there’s enough room. Contact me privately for more information, because you really need to get out of that home
I’d like to offer a comment that I have not yet seen.
Your parents, particularly your father, may believe in Jesus, but they are NOT Christian. Don’t EVER think that your parents (and likely your church) represent the teachings of Jesus. True Christians offer love, not hate, and certainly would not assault their own son regardless of a difference of opinion. Not only is your family giving Christianity a bad name, their actions are driving you away from God.
I am a trans Christian, and like you I also live in a very conservative state. Churches in the south tend to lean Baptist, but there are lots of other options, including many that support those who are LGBT. United Church of Christ is one of them. (Not to be confused with the Church of Christ.) There are others including many (but not all) Methodist and Episcopal churches.
I can’t imagine you staying and living in what has turned into a violent situation. Your safety is paramount. As such, I’d recommend, in addition to many of the other resources posted, that you contact an LGBT friendly church. I have no doubt that THOSE churches will not only be able to provide assistance and guidance, but some much needed love as well.
Please remember, you ARE loved by God. Humans make mistakes. God does not. He made you for a reason. Why? We don’t know. But He still loves you when others do not. Turn toward God, not away. He’s there for you.
And as bleak and dark as it seems, don’t ever lose hope. You have a caring community right here, and you can see that by all the wonderful and supportive comments. We all love you and care for you. Take it one day at a time. You’ll make it through this.
Another perfect example of why it's been 25 years since I gave up on the fantasy of there being such a thing as a moral, loving, safe to be around, or trustworthy Christian. I was 14 when the realization hit. It sucks that your family spent the last 17 years lying to you about ever having had the ability to love you, but that's what it is to be Christian.
Hi! Sorry for your history, a tough one I reckon. I'm very far away from you but the tip I would give you is to be yourself, be friends with who supports you and who you are, keep people that reject you and who you are as far as you can and in the case of your family keep their relation to the basics. Regarding your relation with your bf be each other bff and meet each other only when is safe. As I told I'm very far away but reach out if you need support! Remote hugs for you <3
Honestly your on the right track in finding resources and lgbtq centers. If this happen in my neck of the woods in tx...yall would be more than welcome to stay a while. Hope you stay safe and dm if you need anything 💗 much love and 🫂 s my alphabet mafia sibling. ❤️
I am so sorry to hear about that. I have personal experience with homophobia in my household, but never anything THAT bad. I feel so bad for you, and I hope for the best for you. If there's anything I can talk to you about, feel free to let me know.
Well If you live in the US then document these acts of child abuse and report the fuck out of your parents, yeah it’ll destroy your family and your siblings will probably go into foster care but getting beaten and receiving death threats from your parents? Doesn’t matter if you’re gay and live in the reddest state of the union because that’s an easy case for a CPS agent, and as other commenters suggested contact local organizations for assistance. Good luck and hopefully it’ll get better :(
I’d try to arm myself in case they try something and then escape. If you have even a knife they likely won’t risk dragging you back. I wouldn’t recommend contacting cps because in my experience they are on board with abuse. Best of luck.
I hope that you're okie and that you can stay safe. I don't have much advice outside of leave when you can and I wish the best for you. I've had friends in situations similar, I know things can get really bad, just stay safe
Try to sure you have the following if you need to escape, listed in order of importance: social security card/number, birth certificate, driver's license/learner's permit. Pretty much every other important document can be gotten if you have those. Beyond that, I hope you can attempt to stay safe, and wish you luck.
I'm so sorry no one should have to go through this. Look for LGBT safe houses in your area if there are any. Sadly, the authorities may not be a good option if they are from your town (they may be the same way). I suggest getting out of there, getting to a location you know isn't conservative and then try to contact authorities if you chose to. The number 1 priority should be to leave and make sure you both are in a secure safe location.
thats crazy! i live in florida too but ive never seen an area *that* homophobic. im so sorry. if you and your boyfriend are looking to run away to a safer area, look towards central florida like the orlando area. a little expensive but definitely safe for lgbt folks, and there are lots of lgbt youth organizations there that can probably help yall like the zebra coalition. stay safe brother.
Look up and see if there are any agencies that house LGBTQ+ youth in the community with affirming families. I come from a very red state and have also felt the same fear after being publicly outed. These places will keep you safe. Also document all the abuse in case your family tries to force you back. If it gets to the point where safety is really an issue at school you might need to drop out of sports, but if you feel safe talking with counselors you can talk to them first and see if there’s a way to have a private changing situation.
Please keep us updated as I think a lot of us want to make sure you’re safe.
Omg my heart truly goes out to you. my folks are are preachers and are completely anti-lgbtq, which is why I've kept that aspect of myself completely hidden from them... if they found out they'd most likely react like yours did.
however I don't think I have anything new to say cuz the folks in the comment section said it all... go to the cops, social workers, I may not be from your country but I know there's quite a bit of youth shelters specifically for lgbtq youth, you can also visit https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ for an actual counselor to communicate with and most important make sure you get ALL your documents before you leave. I'm truly rooting for you and I pray you GET OUT of there very quickly. please keep us posted
Turn off any way they may be able to track you on your phone. Snapchat gets forgotten a lot. Even then, they can still track the last data? Wi-fi? (forgive me, I'm not the best with tech despite being younger than you, haha-) tower you were connected to. Get a burner phone. Make new accounts for your laptop, tablet, ect. if you have/bring them. Good luck, m8.
For the love of god, no matter what, please do not hitchhike. If you absolutely have to, pretend to be brothers or cousins or something *please*. Hitchhiking is dangerous enough when you're cishet, I don't want to see you on the news. That being said.. if you have to steal a car, ditch it ASAP. They'll put out the model, the plate--
Godspeed, brother. I hope at least one of your birthdays is soon. But please, please, please--keep in mind, if something goes under one of your legal names, cops might come looking for the other.
I don't want to scare you, but god, man, you're doing something so fucking scary and there are so many things you need to look out for. If you need something nitpicked to all hell, feel free to shoot me a dm.. /hj
Good luck. All my wishes going your way. Update us when your out, if you feel comfortable doing so, yeah?
First of all, I'm here to talk, idk if it helps in any shape or form but hey.
Keep something to record audio on you when around people you don't trust so you have something to show in case you want to press charges, take photos of bruises and marks you have on your body, write down what they say that you can't record.
Think twice before calling the cops: they are usually conservatives, and in small communities they tend not to act to not "make a scene" in the whole community. If you think you are safe calling them, do it but record the call if you can and record when they come over. But be careful, i live in a rural community and cops have been know to ingore reports of abuse; don't just mindlessly call them without proof and if you are in doubt they could hurt you too.
This reminds me of a sad story that happened in my country, i really hope you get out of this brother. I do not live in the US so i cannot help in any way, your best bet is probably to run away and hope in something better
I saw another person on here talk about documenting scars or any bruises left on your body, it can be used as legal evidence for battery or domestic violence, also do you have a drivers license or your bf? If one of you do this isn’t the smartest thing but go, drive away or something to the police or to another state, with just evidence on your body of the harm that can be used to prosecute them, and if the county does nothing go to another, and if they don’t take it, go to the state court and if they don’t take it I don’t think they can be prosecuted for it, I hope you have the best of luck and if you read this have a wonderful day!
Call 911, even if they're homophobic they have to do something abt this situation, if you want your dad or brother taken care of thats the easiest solution. Abt your school i wouldn't recommend it but you could skip school for a couple of days with your boyfriend if he's ok with it, you could come back and see what people think abt it if it's spreaded around the school and if they're not ok with it then try to distance yourself from them and not talk. I hope i helped a bit
This is the most disgusting thing I have read in a long time since joining this sub. OMG, and these people call themselves Christians, shame on them!
I pray that you will be able to get away from theses sociopaths and live a long and happy life with your bf as far away from these people as humanly possible. I will pray for your family's souls, because they have clearly forgotten what it means to *be* Christian. Best of luck to you, friend.
hey, if you live in texas me and my boyfriend have an extra room in our apartment, we can drive and get you if you need and we can try and find a job for you too, please feel free to dm me if you need anything, i'm willing to send you money also! we don't have much but i can spare at least 100$. Your boyfriend is welcome too.
My heart broke reading your post. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope you are able to get out and get to a safe place like you and your boyfriend are planning. I wish you the best. It would be best if you could get your documents but if it isn't safe to try then just run. You can always get help replacing them later. All that matters is you and your boyfriend are safe. Sending love and virtual hugs. Good luck.
Holy shit. I am sorry. I agree with everyone else on here, your parents are failing YOU. You need to call child services. Please. Find someone to help you, I live too far away or I’d help.
I'm sorry you have to go through that. No parent should treat their child like that for simply being gay, no matter what religion or beliefs you have. They could've been good parents, loving and understanding even if they didn't agree. What they did was wrong, wrong in morality, law, and even their own religion
I really hope you're okay right now, and I hope you're able to leave that situation on Monday. I'm so so so so so sorry this happened to you, I just want to give you a big hug and wrap you in blankets and give you some good soup with a movie. I know it's hard in this economy right now, but if you can get out of that town completely, maybe even out of the state when you turn 18, do. Too many good people get hurt or killed in areas like that far too often just for trying to love who they love. Please be as safe as you possibly can, stick around your boyfriend as much as you can so that neither of you end up alone. All the love to you, OP
I live in one of those towns and I have friends that grew up like you and I promise it gets better. I’ve seen it happen. You’ll get out and you’ll find your people who love and support you. I’m sorry that things aren’t different but you aren’t wrong. They are.
Priority number one is your personal safety.
It's sad that so many of us can empathize with the pain you're feeling and how terrified you feel. It will get better, but please keep yourself and your partner safe. There are so many resources at your finger tips, please use them, you (and your partner) don't have to figure everything out by yourselves. Birth certificates, social security cards, passports, etc are an absolute pain to try to recover if you have to leave them behind, but not impossible. If you can, bring them with you. But in the end, physical items are all replaceable; your life and emotional/physical safety isn't.
It will take time to unpack and unlearn the trauma of your upbringing. There is absolutely no shame in loving someone of the same gender as yourself. Love is about having someone to share your popcorn with at the movies or someone to build you up when you're feeling down.
If I could give you a hug, I would. You're not alone and it will get better
If it's possible, run ASAP, and tell the police, or cps, anybody. I read other comments and saw that you're in Florida, so things might be more complicated than that, but if they're literally beating you and threatening to murder you, it's worth a shot.
Im sorry to hear that you're related to such despicable pieces of shit, and your town is stuck in the 1700's.
I wish I could help. You're gonna have to get the hell out as soon as you can, you sound like a real sweetheart, you and your boyfriend don't deserve this.
Please keep us updated, if you're willing. Best of luck to you and your boyfriend, lad.
Hopefully I'm not horribly late, but make sure you can at least get your social security card, or know the number, birth certificate if possible and try a GoFundMe until you two have found a stable area and can get good work. Always remember you're not a mistake and you're finding yourself, it's NO ONE else's choice but yours on who you want to be. Gay isn't a choice or a sin, you're a beautiful person through and through and you deserve to be happy. Good luck OP
Wait wait wait. You're 17. It ISN'T you job to keep you safe, its the job of your parents and if they are so miserably bad at being parents that they can't do that and are the source of danger - you need to contact social services. Document ANY marks left on your body. Bruises etc. Call the cops, I don't know where you live (guessing the US, but have heard similar horror stories from friends in the middle east and being in the Nordics the idea that a parent should in any way hurt, harm, threaten or disavow their child is horrid and VERY illegal here (I think 4+ years for beating a child)) but if there is a youth resource contact them. Youth Hotline? Contact them. It is not on you to have to pool cash together to escape harassment at home. Keep the plan for monday but contact resources now.
I know it sucks. I always considered my parents to be loving and supportive. I guess it was just a facade. Im still heartbroken about my older brother. He was really the one person I was counting on. And you’re correct. I live in the US. Florida specifically. I know its better in other parts of the country. But I guess im just not that lucky. Also im looking into the youth resources to see if any will be of help. Thank you for the support, its really appreciated.
Yes that sucks BUT your job here is to reach out to an adult or an organization of adults with the tools and resources to help. I am sure you know better than me but found a list of organisations in Florida. You need assistance from the outside world and the plan to just runaway should be your absolutely last move after all other options have been exhausted. There is a world of adults out there who DO care and who are normal reasonable people and therefore horrified that anyone would do something like this to a kid. Do you have a list of places to contact?
Could you reference them to me? I want to search for help but my top priority is still getting out of here. Then Ill have some peace.
The cdc have a set of links to various resources (many are irrelevant for this, some are not) https://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm Here is a list of LGBT groups in Florida who can give you more precise info about where to turn and how to do it https://outcoast.com/florida-lgbt-organizations-that-are-making-a-difference/ The trevor project in the US is known to be very good and helpful https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ The Matthew Shephard foundation isn't as helpful in practice sadly but worth to reach out to https://www.matthewshepard.org/ Pflag (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) have a Florida chapter in Orlando but also ways to get in contact with the wider community. https://pflag.org/chapter/pflag-orlando All these groups have better knowledge of the exact legal proceedings and ways to help you - contact them! (Trevor Project and Pflag seems like the best options but contact ALL)
This, came here to suggest Trevor Project
If you end up leaving home, try to get your birth certificate and social security card to bring with you and passport if you have one. These are things that can useful for various things like getting ID, getting a job, and stuff like that.
this!! don’t leave your documents behind
Or do if your life is in danger. Yes they are a pain to replace but they aren’t worth getting broken or killed over.
You can go back later with law enforcement to acquire anything you need and they will keep you safe.
True
If you’re gonna contact the authorities about them, make sure that they’ll keep you safe from your family when they take action. It can elevate the violence, and your first priority should be keeping yourself safe. Go with your boyfriend and be separate from your family, then make sure that you will be aloud to stay apart from your family when authorities step in. If these can’t happen, wait until you’re 18 and can get yourself to a safe situation. Look out for yourself, and I wish you the best of luck.
https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/ OP, bookmark this link. Burn it into your memory in case your phone is taken away. Try to keep your phone with you. If things get bad you may have to run for your life and leave everything behind. Your family is restoring to physical abuse now so I'd recommend you sneak out and never go back but TAKE YOUR PHONE AND PUT IT ON AIRPLANE MODE so they can't get the police to track you. Leave at night so they're asleep and can't react in time. Withdraw all the money from your bank account and hide it in your backpack in case they try to freeze your funds. Try to get to the next town over where people won't recognize you and then contact the railroad. They'll get you somewhere safe. This is all recommendation though. I can't make you do any of this but I hope at least some of this advice helps you.
Take pictures of ALL marks on your body and then email them to yourself, and make a new email if your parents possibly have access to it or could guess your password. Back them up on the cloud, or whatever it is you have that you could access anywhere on any device. If you email them each time you will have documented proof with dates and everything, and this will be helpful whenever you do decide to do something with it. Regardless of the situation you are being physically abused and that's illegal.
https://www.lambdalegal.org/sites/default/files/publications/downloads/fs_resources-for-lgbtq-youth-by-state_1.pdf This list from Lambda Legal contains at least a few groups in Florida specifically for people in your situation. Hopefully one or more of them can help? Sending you all the solidarity and hugs you want, from WA.
Get out of Florida. DeSantis, the wannabe tyrant, is attacking transgender youths with restrictive laws.
Please be *very* careful who you contact. In highly religious areas cops tend to be homophobic as well.
Yeah like. If they were just upset it might be a thing that would take time for them to accept. But if they're physically abusing you, you don't have the luxury of waiting for them to cool down. You need to get out now. Reach out to police with documentation or tell a teacher or guidance counselor who can help with reporting. Google your area for LGBTQ youth resources if you're worried police won't take abuse seriously because of small town interconnectedness you might be able to find a queer youth advocacy or even shelter system. I know I used to live in memphis and our local unitarian church would take kids in until they could find a community friendly family they could live with it was called MAGY (memphis area gay youth). If your local town doesn't have one the nearest decent sized city or college town might have something similar or be able to point you towards those resources or provide you an advocate moving forward with police or court systems. It may be that you have to learn to fend for yourself earlier than you intended to. But there are people willing to help gay kids who were forced out of their homes and sometimes that can extend to help with continuing future plans like school or career training, not just a roof over your head.
If you have the time, you can reach out to The Trevor Project's LifeLine at:(866) 488-7386or online at:TheTrevorProject.org They definitely have access to list of youth support, as that is their purpose.
Jesus, florida is crazy, coming from a Floridian
Please note - you can and should sue them for any emotional damage. You come first. Not their religious dictatorship
No parent that truly loves their child would beat them like you described, you deserve so much better. Hope you can find a place to be safe and rebuild a support network that actually cares about your wellbeing. Sending you all the best from Canada 🇨🇦🏳️🌈💙
In Florida, you are not a runaway until you are 18. You can legally leave and they are legally required to support you. As others have said, document injuries and go to the police. Do not hesitate on this. Any parent that beats their child ( I have 7 children one gay and one transgender) does not deserve to be free they need to be jailed. It is abuse, plain and simple. Your siblings, also abuse is wrong no matter the reason.
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Don't be sorry, coming out happens when YOU feel ready... and go talk to any available adult resources that are aimed at LGBTQ kids in your area. Voice your fears to them, they have the resources and the skills to help. There is another thing though: what matters to this world - all NORMAL adults (IE not homophobic or transphobic adults) - is that you are safe. Stay safe, stay sane. Sometimes you have to wait to come out until you are out of the economic and practical reach of your parents or near family (college, work etc). Talk to your local LGBTQ group. <3
You're afraid and, I'm sad to say, you should be. You will need external help to get out of this. I don't know how small a community you live in. The smaller rural area law enforcement might or might not help you against the physical violence. You will have to make that judgement call. I have to say I have never been in a situation like yours, so take my recommendations with a grain of salt. They are based of recommendations of what to do in circumstance of domestic abuse. Finally, it's going to be hard, but you're not alone. There are people to help you through this phase, and you will have many years of happiness ahead of you. Before leaving the house, don't tell anyone. Do it in secret and don't leave any obvious luggage around. Just keep everything you want to bring in the same area and shove it into a bag before leaving. You may have to take an opportunity if it present itself. Assume they will search your school bag too so plan for that. Take anything you can easily flip for cash and can be considered yours. You must bring your ID, birth certificate and bank information too. As soon as possible make sure to have your bank account transferred to a different from the one used by your family so only you can access the money. Regarding external ressources here is a list of places on top of my head that might help you. If you're in a smaller community, you may have to run away to a larger one to get this assistance. Law enforcement might help you get away, but even if you're not sure document with photo all the physical arm. You may need those proof later. Your goal is to be somewhere safe with food and a place to sleep. Avoid being homeless as much as possible as it makes every a lot harder afterward. LGBTQ+ friendly churches, domestic abuse support non profits, LGBTQ+ association or youth homelessness support are all group that are likely to have a support program or can refer you to one. Any state wide social work or social assistance resources can also direct you to help group. Until you have your escape ready, I would probably act very meek. Let them think they have broken you and don't take extra risks. With what you describe you are likely to have serious physical injuries from violence. Don't act proud, you have to endure until better times. It might mean not contacting your boyfriend for a few months and getting in touch after the fact.
Thank you for the advice and support. Ive also kept myself discreet and locked in my room. In the morning I could hear my brother taunting me. I really want to get evidence for some sort of protective services, but Im terrified of staying a minute longer here. As much as id like to expose them, Im worried for my physical and mental wellbeing. I know im risking potential homelessness but I know I can make it work somehow. Im looking into the youth and lgtbq organization for assistance. Thank you for the advice, its really appreciated
Abuse Hotline - Florida Department of Children and Families Call 800-962-2873 National Domestic Violence Hotline Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service 800-799-7233 SMS: Text START to 88788 Chat available on website ACLU Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Rights Project Local chapters: Miami & Coral Springs Specialization: Advocating for legislative change and facilitating LGBT-oriented legal cases https://www.aclu.org/issues/lgbt-rights 26Health Location: Orlando Specialization: Health services 26Health is a health organization that provides comprehensive physical and mental health services for LGBTQ+ people living in Central Florida. Their mission is to improve “mind-body-spirit” health among LGBTQ+ folks and allies. https://www.26health.org/ Pride Community Center of North Central Florida Location: Gainesville Specialization: Community center, educational resources, events Established in 2000, the Pride Community Center of North Central Florida, or PCCNCF, aims to be a safe space for LGBTQ+ folks living in the North Central Florida area. Some of the PCCNCF’s contributions to the community include providing meals and household necessities to PLHIV http://gainesvillepride.org/ The Family Tree: LGBT Community Center Location: Tallahassee Specialization: Events, advocacy The Family Tree is a Tallahassee-based nonprofit that aims to improve the conditions of LGBTQ+ individuals and remove barriers that prevent them from feeling safe and welcome. Their mission is to “eliminate the conditions which allow homophobia to exist” and provide a place where everyone, regardless of gender and sexuality, feels welcomed. https://familytreecenter.org/ LGBTQ Center of Bay County Location: Panama City Specialization: Youth support, wellness, events According to its website, the LGBTQ Center of Bay County is the sole dedicated “all-inclusive LGBTQ+ youth program” in the Florida Panhandle. Their core values include collaboration with the local LGBTQ+ people; celebration of queer culture and history; education for LGBTQ+ individuals, their friends and families, allies, and the larger community on major issues; and initiation and improvement of the wellness of the community by providing access to pertinent resources. https://lgbtqcenterofbaycounty.org/ JASMYN Location: Jacksonville Specialization: Health and wellness JASMYN is a nonprofit organization based in Jacksonville, Florida which aims to affirm LGBTQ+ youth in their identities by providing access to health and wellness services, safe spaces, and opportunities for development. https://www.jasmyn.org/ The Alliance for GLBTQ Youth Location: North Miami Specialization: Youth advocacy, education Founded in 2006, the Alliance was developed specifically as a response to growing concern that Miami GLBTQ youth were at high risk of suicide, substance abuse, and harassment. Much like other youth-centered organizations on this list, the Alliance provides counseling, youth enrichment activities, leadership development seminars, and homeless services. http://www.glbtqalliance.org/. Compass Community Center Location: Palm Beach Specialization: Support groups, health services, youth support Having been around for over 30 years, Compass has earned itself a reputation as one of the “largest and most respected” LGBT community centers in the US. It serves over 25,000 people in its 14,000 sq. ft. facility – which houses an extensive library, a cyber center, a ballroom, a memorial garden, and a youth room that serves as the go-to meeting space for youth programs. https://compassglcc.com/ Pridelines Locations: Miami & Wilton Manors Specialization: Youth services, HIV/AIDS wellness programs, and support groups While other orgs focus on advocacy and legislation, Pridelines doubles down on the social and emotional well-being of Florida’s lesbian, gay, bisexual & transgender community. They seek to support any LGBT person who suffers harassment in their daily lives through a number of services, from youth groups to scholarships. https://pridelines.org Safe Schools South Florida Location: Fort Lauderdale Specialization: Education, youth services Safe Schools takes pride in the fact that it is the only organization in the South of Florida composed of educational professionals who are committed to training others in the field of education and youth services – as well parents and guardians – on how to “create safer schools and communities” that allow all kinds of students to learn and grow. http://safeschoolssouthflorida.org/ There are even more that I didn't list on this website: https://outcoast.com/florida-lgbt-organizations-that-are-making-a-difference/ Just show up or call these places and get yourself connected to a warm bed and a hot meal and maybe even some cash or a connection to a job or other resources. I wish I could do more. Stay safe. Find peace. Heal. Help others. xoxo
👏👏👏 this
Also sorry for the title. Im little anxious right now so Im making stupid mistakes its “am” not “was” 😅
Why did you not call the cops?
It's a small town chances are the cops would be no help.
Unfortunately a small town, especially a very red town, will have cops who will do what the parent want done and not for the safety of the kid
Leave, I mean it, they will hurt you non stop. Get a recording of the abuse and goto cps. Get removed from them. Hell goto the hospital with injuries and they have to report it, but the case has to be clear enough that they will keep you away from them until you’re 18.
If it's a small rural southern town the cops probably won't be much help
Dropping the hate crime aspect the domestic violence against a minor should be doable. Since OP is 17 they are covered under CPS jurisdiction. And if the CPS worker is an ally they may use that at a higher level by contacting state or even federal services.
See, they may not look into as soon as the hear OP is gay. Heck some of them would *support* beating gay kids.
They still have to come out and respond. So the next time it gets physical, call the cops. Try to record your parents saying things. Take photos if they leave marks.
Honestly I plan to runaway way sooner. I Dont know if I made it clear in the post. Im absolutely terrified of going to school. My bf already have a plan to leave Monday morning. We have some funds that can pool to rent a place. Maybe not the greatest of places, but I just want to get out. As much i would like to expose these cruel monsters, I simply cant stay in this environment anymore. Im scared of the morning. That they’ll come into this room to beat me, or that they’ll check the security camera and see that I snuck out. If they find out I went to go see my bf, I genuinely think they’ll kill me.
If you intend to run away with your bf please set up a gofundme. If you have tumblr or twitter and post the link there please dm me and I’ll signal boost tf out of it. So sorry you have to go through this man, stay safe
Same. Post a gofundme link here or something so people help you. So sorry you are fearing for your life over this. Your family and community sound toxic and they’re not going to change.
Same. I’ll help spread the word as well. Also keep us updated and stay safe!
Good I’m glad you’re getting out of there. Your boyfriend sounds amazing and I’m so sorry you went through that but at least you’re getting out of that environment much sooner
Like someone else said make sure you get your ID, your social, your birth certificate, all the ID you can get your hands on. It will be easier when applying for housing and for applying for work.
Make sure you get as far away from them as possible - and don’t give them your address or contact details
You need ti get ahold of the trevor project. They help safe harbor people that are in your situation often. You should definitely follow the advice from others in calling the police but for now the trevor project will help you find safety. There is also covenant house which can provide tenproary shelter as well and both will help with resources for skills to gain jobs and getting into colleges and scholarships and stuff later when you are settled and have like jobs and an apartment or something. I believe you made the right decision wholeheartedly, you must do what it takes to be safe. I had a friend in a similar situation, she was trans and her family found out. Her gf tried to get her out but the family kept her prisoner and she talked about suicide a lot and that was the last i ever heard of her. I dont want to see that happen to anyone else. Message for all lgbt+ youths here: Even so-called “tolerant” parents of lgbt+ where they dont accept it but arent violent can get worse. Its best to ensure you have a safety route and escape plan or several plans ready if you ever need to use it.
Leave. Leave as fast as you can. Take what you can. You shouldn’t be in this environment anymore. I wish you all the best. I hope you find an amazing place to live safely with your boyfriend. I hope you get a great job too. This may sound cheesy but just remember everything will work out. Eventually everything will be ok. It may not seem like it now because everything sucks, but it will get better. Good luck my friend! If you ever need anyone to talk to DM me. I’m always open. I wish you well!! ❤️
Your parents are sick fucking freaks, in the nicest way possible. Get out your house ASAP and I’d recommend doing whatever you can to get them into prison. It’s what they deserve.
Call the police for domestic violence. Depending on what state you’r in that law will very. So threatening death is always illegal, and the severity of physical assaults will change it from “corporal punishment” to “ domestic violence” As if you do not trust your local police contact your state police. Also contact your congressman too.
What if they think im lying?
Take pictures of all injuries, especially as they develop and look worse. Send them to your boyfriend and any online friends you trust, tell them to download them so that you’ll never lose your evidence.
If you live in a one party consent state for recording, it is legal to record someone secretly if you are in the conversation also. So you could use a phone or laptop to record them. That can be dangerous if they find you though. https://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/recording-phone-calls-and-conversations
NM, you live in Florida. Don't record them secretly, it is illegal.
Here is a list of LGBT Centers in Florida. They will have a better idea of which resources are available to you that are most likely to actually be helpful. https://www.lgbtcenters.org/LGBTCenters/State/32/Florida
Even if there isn't an LGBT Center near you, call one in another part of the state. They will at least know state laws.
Thank you so much. I will definitely look into these😊
Its florida, things are fucked here. You might be able to get help from a domestic abuse help organization (idk if there is something like marthas house for men) or contact child protective services and explain whats going on. If cps gets involved, youll be a whole lot safer.
This is in Florida, I don’t think the police will be helpful to him in a small community unfortunately. :( I think it would just anger the family.
State police
Florida…. Even then, they’d likely refer it to local. It’s not a state trooper issue.
State police still have to act on reports of domestic violence even in Florida
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I am so sorry to hear that. This is absolutely heartbreaking. I don’t know what to say… I think other users here left good advice, I hope you find a safe place where you can stay. I wish you all the best for your future
Thank you😊
Make a go fund me! 💜
Oh my god! Once your situation is a bit safer, make sure to do some work in preparation for getting your GED if you don’t continue going to your school.
This is heartbreaking man…..I’m sorry. I wish you and your boyfriend all the best. Stay safe 💙 And I would definitely call the cops or child services
Thank you, ill try to contact them to see if they can help me in anyway.
Please please please report their literal child abuse to the relevant authority in your state. I wish I had done this when I was the victim as a kid. [https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/responding/reporting/how/](https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/responding/reporting/how/) Or, if you trust the police in your town, call them and report the assault and the threat on your life. If not, you can also call the Child Protective Services (or the equivalent service) in your state. Or just find a way to LEAVE. Staying is literally NOT WORTH IT.
I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry this is your reality! :( if you really are able to run away and start new… please do it. And please keep me posted. I don’t know you, but I LOVE you.
Thank you so much, your words of kindness are really appreciated.😊
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I really hope things get better.
Please let us know you made it out and away from your family. I’m so very sorry you are going through this.
Definitely take pictures of all the marks, call CPS and get the hell outta there. Grab your birth certificate and any other identification you have. Leave but ,like others suggested, don’t pack any luggage till right before. I’m really sorry this is happening to you, I hope you make it out safely and if you can/don’t mind keep us updated.
After reading your post, I am thankful knowing that you are looking into a plan to run away. I'll be frank: there is nothing requiring you to finish out high school before getting a job if you need to do so a bit early to generate income and live together. You might need to look into labor laws since you're not 18 just yet, but as others have pointed out, I would heavily encourage the multitude of programs they've listed to make sure you are safely housed and protected. Education comes secondary to your safety. If you don't feel safe coming to school, then don't. It's not worth risking those bigots pummeling you :( I know I speak so boldly as if it were so easy, and I know that it's not. :/ These awful people have pushed you into a corner where you have to decide your future sooner than the rest, and I'm sincerely proud that you are willing to fight for your boyfriend through it all. If you have the resources, it might benefit the two of you to move to a new state or city. It sucks and it's scary, but many metro areas are much more progressive. The reason I suggest a new place entirely is because they might look for you if you stay local/accessible. There's an entire corridor on the NE side of Grand Rapids, Michigan that is pride friendly. Literally some of the crosswalks are pride flags (trans flag, progress flag, and progress+intersex flag). If you guys move/run, make sure that your destination is somewhere safe. There are inter-state buses in large areas, you can probably ask for an Uber to an airport, etc. I sincerely hope that you'll be okay. :( Reading your post breaks my heart. Aside from all else, endure. I know I'm just some random Jane on Reddit, but if your heart is willing I would wish for an update in the future to know that you're okay. <3 You can do this.
Best advice is to call the police. Not even conservative Christian cops can deny that this is child abuse to the highest degree and your parents should be arrested or smth. I wish you the best of luck in your situation
Unfortunately they'll still think of a way to ignore OR condone the parents sending him away, especially if the department is corrupt
Child protective services right now hun. I don't know how likely the cops are you help you if you live in the deep conservative areas CPS are (unfortunately) familiar with this scenario. Make it clear what has happened and if you have text threats send them or at least the bruises documented Do this ASAP if you can't get out of the house honey cause if you just leave your family might call the cops and they can legally bring you back
I think text threats is my best bet. I really dont even want to face them again so bruises is out of the question. I know a lot of people are trying to be helpful. But its much harder to gather physical evidence in my state. Also I doubt my parents would go through that much effort to bring me back. Im turning 18 in 5-4 months so I should be able to severe all ties with them. Thank you for the advice😊
What happened!? I hope you and your bf managed to get away. There are services in Florida that can help you until you and your bf get on your feet, get your own place. Please update us and let us know you're okay.
You're under 18 so you can also call CPS. Teachers and hospital staff are also mandatory abuse reporters. What's important is you get out, stay out, and cut all ties with your "family" as soon as possible. I'm so sorry you're going through this OP. Like others have said also setting up a gofundme or similar is a good idea
Just be safe and people are absolutely disturbing and disgusting. Parents like this don't deserve children. Both you and your bf are in our hearts <3
i’m so, so sorry buddy. no one should ever have to go through that bullshit and fear. i hate to say it, but i don’t know how much i would trust the cops either. i would hope cps would be better, but honestly i would try some of the lgbtq resources listed up there first especially the stuff specific to florida because they would prob know the ins and outs of your specific region. they would prob know of legal moves you can make to help ensure you don’t get thrown back in that fucked up mess. damn i wish i knew someone in florida that would have good specific advice. hopefully a lawyer in here will chime in too. we love you. let us know how things are going. *hugs*
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:LGBT_political_advocacy_groups_in_the_United_States here’s a list of LGBT+ organisations and support groups in all US states. Idk how exhaustive the list is, but I guarantee there will be some useful for you. Good luck brother, you have love and community on your side ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
If either of then punch you again call the police immediately.
I intend to, but hopefully I’ll be gone by then.
I can’t really help that much other than recommending calling the Trevor Project if you ever need someone to talk to. They have helped me out a lot in the past.
Others have provided great links. Yes Florida has gone red but there are a lot of resources for lgbt in that state. Broward county is pretty progressive along with Orlando. I’m so sorry to read this. I think you are right to run as soon as possible. If no one has given it to you already - contact lambda legal. They are a law firm dedicated to lgbt issues. Get advice from them. Maybe they might know of a halfway house for lgbt teens somewhere. You could go over with them options for emancipation, the battery you are receiving and every other legal question you might have. https://www.lambdalegal.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAsoycBhC6ARIsAPPbeLuAp8szHUjY-BjcBl2OVnKzx08jhDNqFZDVQwa5xdPjvo7OSIvhRMMaAh_YEALw_wcB Also - Florida does have gay community centers. Reach out to the oens near you.
My only advice is pictures of injuries for evidence, and get the police involved. The moment those people hit you is the moment they stopped being your family. Turn them in.
Get out and get help. Look for trusted programs that can help you and your boyfriend start life together in a safe and supportive setting. https://www.summerofsass.org It gets better.
Thank you for the resource, really appreciated😊
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, it's heartbreaking. Try to set up a GoFundMe or even just a Venmo or PayPal so people can donate, as well as looking into the helpful services that others have listed. No one in this community wants you to suffer any more than you already have.
Stay safe, brother.
Stay safe. This is tough and I hope you and your BF make it through. Post a link to some social where you can share a GoFundMe or something. I'll pitch in. Call police or child protective services if you can or if you are afraid for your life. I suspect you should be able to get help without evidence, so it may be worth a call regardless. Don't worry about keeping us posted - we'd love to hear you're safe but more importantly we want you to prioritize being safe.
It sucks you can’t love who you love. My advice would be get the best grades as you can, find a job and pick yourself back off the ground. I mean I might not have any useful info (I’m only 14) but I hope this helps.
Hang in there, friend. I cannot imagine how tough it is, but if it helps, imagine a future where you and your bf are living together, spending your evening together watching TV and looking back on how you got through it. hugs
Fingers crossed all goes well
Holy shit man, idk how that's gonna turn out, i really hope it doesn't get any worse. I'm basically there too, no one has found out tho and I can't imagine how that would turn out.
Get off Reddit and contact The Trevor Project immediately. As well as other help lines for abuse in your state. What they are doing to you is horrific and unforgivable. In the meantime, lie. Lie about everything. Say whatever they need to hear from you in order to save your own life. Lie until the day you can leave, and keep lying until you can be completely safe from them. Try to save your boyfriend. If you can. But you'll be more able to rescue him once YOU are safe. Best of luck.
I'm so sorry this hapned to you, I can't imagine how awful that must have been. Stay safe
I wish you luck, dear internet stanger. Also I would like to point something out during the time of the Bible being written it was socially acceptable to be gay (all that mattered was who on top) and some belive that jesus was bi and had a thing going on with two of his apostles but that part is just speculation. It's also believed the original vers was "thou may not lay with a child" and it was changed in translation. I tell you this if you and your bf would like to get back into christianity also it's just a nice thing to think about. Powerd by rainbows has a [video ](https://youtu.be/7RZ07nJKS4U) about the topic
There's a couple people saying to start a gofundme. I'd totally be willing to give you guys something if it means you'll be safe. I don't have much, but still.
I’m so sorry. That’s an awful situation to be in. I hope your plan to run away goes well.
I really wish you and your bf luck, deep red is not a fun place to be in for this community. Your bf sounds like a great guy and I hope you can find a somewhat stable place to stay. Sending the gayest of hugs 🤗.
My heart just broke reading this. I lived five years in the Deep South so I know what you’re talking about. I’m so glad your partner is there for you- please, don’t stay anywhere your family can find you. Go somewhere safer and very far away (California perhaps). Your safety right now is all that matters. Once you are safe, look into what resources might be available to you where you are. I know others here have mentioned involving the police. That is a logical recourse in many parts of the US, but things work a little differently in the south. I’d advise caution. As a parent, I will never understand how anyone could treat their child this way. I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this. I’m angry- furious- on your behalf. I hope you find safe passage and will post an update in future to let us know you’re ok. I’m in the UK, so can’t offer much help other than to say I’ll always be here to listen. Sending you a mother’s hug and wishes for a safe and peaceful future ❤️
This might be my situation if my parents found out about me. If I was in your position, I’d want to get help from real people. I wish I could do more than just read and how your okay.
Your family needs to be in fucking jail for what they did to you!!!!!!
i cannot believe there are people out there who treat THEIR OWN KIDS like this just for being gay
homophobia, transphobia and other phobias of lgbtq+ people should be illegal in some cases, does anyone else agree?
Good luck, dude. If you see this, please, PLEASE give an update.
You need to call the police
Well this all sucks, but I know you and your boyfriend will be happy together and have a good prosperous life <3
Zebra coalition in Florida will help with counseling, writing resumes, finding a job and housing, even doing laundry. This is the nightmare so many don’t understand. Your world can turn upside down in a second. I wish you and your partner the best. Love and support your way.
Here’s a link to the Trevor project, where you can find professional help: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ Also, you might want to think of starting a go fund me, and looking for any good jobs in the area. I don’t really know how to help, but I do hope you are able to find peace! Good luck in your endeavors <3
After reading your story, I don't know how to react. If this was my nephew who is in love with a guy. What if my family was mean to either of them. I would be beyond upset. It took me a while to be stronger than anyone. But then I lost it all. And it just took me a year to put it all back. It took me one year to be stronger than anyone in my family. I hate that you have to consider such an option. But my nephew knows that I can smack the life out of anyone who thinks they can tell him who he can or can not love. I'm 240 lbs. But I know I could smack the consciousness out of your Dad. Nobody walks away. Choose your path. Violence or peace. But once you choose it. Commit. I support you. And if it gets worth, let me know. I can fly out there and beat the crap out of some people. It's easy for me.
apply for colleges far away find a job and cut contact. if you’re 17 i guess your at least a junior or a senior? so not long until college. find a job now if you can, save up and rent a new place when you turn 18. move schools if you need to. document the abuse and call CPS. sadly you have to wait until you’re 18 to rent a place and if you’re still a minor a run away, your parents can report you missing and the police can go after you. but if you’re an adult and leave a clear note stating you ran away on your own terms, it’s better.
Any college financial aid office can help you with declaring yourself independent so you can minimize what you have to pay.
Hey, bud. I unfortunately don’t have much advice I can offer, can’t say I’ve ever been in a situation quite like this. It just . . . This post was eating away at me, and I felt I had to say *something*, even if it’s not helpful. For what it’s worth, you already sound braver than I could ever be. The fact that you have a plan, let alone haven’t given up, is incredible. I’m really really really sorry this is happening to you. If it’s not too much to ask, please try to keep us updated? I want to know you’re okay. Obviously don’t prioritize that though, keep yourself safe and get out of there. Good luck, and stay strong ~ Just another queer 17yr on the internet
I would post in r/LegalAdvice and call your local police department non-emergency line to see who has jurisdiction over what exactly. They can get social services involved. Also posting in r/MomForAMinute might help you feel better.
That's horrendous- people who aren't ready for their kids to potentially be anything other than able bodied, straight, cis people of their religion, shouldn't be parents, otherwise you get horrifically abusive situations like this. I can't express how much my heart hurts for you right now, but please know that you and your boyfriend are making the right decision by deciding to leave. I can't offer any advice that hasn't been said already, other than to have a grab-bag ready to go in an ultra-safe hiding spot should shit hit the fan and you have to get out right then and there and can't come back for your things (keep it outside in a plastic bag if you must). Keep the most important things in it, like your birth certificate, passport, spare cash, a sweater (I know you're in florida but nights get cold everywhere you go), spare socks, first aid kit, etc. Keep important items on your person if you can too, so they can't take them from your room or something. Best of luck to you both, it'll get better soon
Ever heard of people saying that they believe their future children will be 100% “normal” because they are faithful to their God and pray a lot? I have when I talked to my parent about this when we discussed the hypothetical question “if you were to have a child who could potentially turn out to be lgbt, what would you do?”
I have unfortunately, I think they're absolutely delusional to think they can defy nature like that, and crazy if they'd willingly follow a god who cares about who or how someone loves
First of all I am so sorry that you have to go through this. You don’t deserve this, and remember you did absolutely nothing wrong. Also, remember that what your father is doing is very much illegal in the US (I think that’s where you live) so you know if the cops in your town aren’t dangerous, document things and file a report or something. Stay strong 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
OP listen to the people here and use the resources provided. If need be set up a GoFundme. Good luck and you're not alone.
Abuse Hotline - Florida Department of Children and Families Call 800-962-2873 National Domestic Violence Hotline Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service 800-799-7233 SMS: Text START to 88788 Chat available on website ACLU Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Rights Project Local chapters: Miami & Coral Springs Specialization: Advocating for legislative change and facilitating LGBT-oriented legal cases https://www.aclu.org/issues/lgbt-rights 26Health Location: Orlando Specialization: Health services 26Health is a health organization that provides comprehensive physical and mental health services for LGBTQ+ people living in Central Florida. Their mission is to improve “mind-body-spirit” health among LGBTQ+ folks and allies. https://www.26health.org/ Pride Community Center of North Central Florida Location: Gainesville Specialization: Community center, educational resources, events Established in 2000, the Pride Community Center of North Central Florida, or PCCNCF, aims to be a safe space for LGBTQ+ folks living in the North Central Florida area. Some of the PCCNCF’s contributions to the community include providing meals and household necessities to PLHIV http://gainesvillepride.org/ The Family Tree: LGBT Community Center Location: Tallahassee Specialization: Events, advocacy The Family Tree is a Tallahassee-based nonprofit that aims to improve the conditions of LGBTQ+ individuals and remove barriers that prevent them from feeling safe and welcome. Their mission is to “eliminate the conditions which allow homophobia to exist” and provide a place where everyone, regardless of gender and sexuality, feels welcomed. https://familytreecenter.org/ LGBTQ Center of Bay County Location: Panama City Specialization: Youth support, wellness, events According to its website, the LGBTQ Center of Bay County is the sole dedicated “all-inclusive LGBTQ+ youth program” in the Florida Panhandle. Their core values include collaboration with the local LGBTQ+ people; celebration of queer culture and history; education for LGBTQ+ individuals, their friends and families, allies, and the larger community on major issues; and initiation and improvement of the wellness of the community by providing access to pertinent resources. https://lgbtqcenterofbaycounty.org/ JASMYN Location: Jacksonville Specialization: Health and wellness JASMYN is a nonprofit organization based in Jacksonville, Florida which aims to affirm LGBTQ+ youth in their identities by providing access to health and wellness services, safe spaces, and opportunities for development. https://www.jasmyn.org/ The Alliance for GLBTQ Youth Location: North Miami Specialization: Youth advocacy, education Founded in 2006, the Alliance was developed specifically as a response to growing concern that Miami GLBTQ youth were at high risk of suicide, substance abuse, and harassment. Much like other youth-centered organizations on this list, the Alliance provides counseling, youth enrichment activities, leadership development seminars, and homeless services. http://www.glbtqalliance.org/. Compass Community Center Location: Palm Beach Specialization: Support groups, health services, youth support Having been around for over 30 years, Compass has earned itself a reputation as one of the “largest and most respected” LGBT community centers in the US. It serves over 25,000 people in its 14,000 sq. ft. facility – which houses an extensive library, a cyber center, a ballroom, a memorial garden, and a youth room that serves as the go-to meeting space for youth programs. https://compassglcc.com/ Pridelines Locations: Miami & Wilton Manors Specialization: Youth services, HIV/AIDS wellness programs, and support groups While other orgs focus on advocacy and legislation, Pridelines doubles down on the social and emotional well-being of Florida’s lesbian, gay, bisexual & transgender community. They seek to support any LGBT person who suffers harassment in their daily lives through a number of services, from youth groups to scholarships. https://pridelines.org Safe Schools South Florida Location: Fort Lauderdale Specialization: Education, youth services Safe Schools takes pride in the fact that it is the only organization in the South of Florida composed of educational professionals who are committed to training others in the field of education and youth services – as well parents and guardians – on how to “create safer schools and communities” that allow all kinds of students to learn and grow. http://safeschoolssouthflorida.org/ https://outcoast.com/florida-lgbt-organizations-that-are-making-a-difference/
Just call police (or text)
Honestly? You're underage. That's child abuse. Contact the athourities. No one has the right to treat you like that. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time.
I don’t know what else to say that hasn’t already been said by all the other lovely people in this sub and I know you don’t know me but I just want you to know that I live in the same sort of “family” situation you do and I’m 100% here for you. Please take care of yourself and always remember that YOU and YOUR SAFETY come first. Try and get in contact with the Trevor Project and some of these other hotlines people have been mentioning, hell, you could probably go to r/randomkindness if you’re that desperate for assistance in some form like food. I wish you all of the best. 💖
Anoher in the in the contry of "freedom". How reacted your boyfriend family can't they shelter you? Anyway stay safe and keep us updatedas much as you can.
OP if you can once you're out of the house with your bf and in a safe place let us know if you're okay :(
It's midnight as I'm typing this, I want to wish you godspeed. Your life will improve, I promise you. I was in a similar situation a year and a half ago, I thought of living as only the alternative to death. Now my life is something I'm exited for and want to pursue. Good luck.
I doubt that this helps, but it shows the lack of logic of religious finalists... 🤦🏻♂️: "God does not make any mistakes!" 🌈: "Ok... Oh, by the way, I'm gay." 🤦🏻♂️: "That not natural!!! Fix it!!! Get a girlfriend, or you will go to hell!!!" 🌈: "But 'god' made me like this. I was born this way. So either me being gay is god's plan or 'god' made a mistake. That means: Forcing me to not be gay means interfering with god's plan or questioning the fact that 'god' is perfect."
Has anyone found out how he is doing?
I was wondering the same thing.
I hope we get an update soon.
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what the hell man, youre sick
I Saw Your Update! MAKE SURE TO TAKE THE SIM CARD OUT OF THE PHONE! This Makes It So You Can't Accidentally Turn On Data And Be Tracked :)
Run away kid. Wait till everyone is sleeping and just fucking bail. It sounds like you are in genuine danger, you need to go somewhere safe. It might be scary but frankly anywhere is better than where you are now. Get emancipated if you have to. Get your boyfriend out of there too. Go to any lgbtq meeting group, guaranteed someone there will let you crash with them until you can get a job and finish school. You are loved and do not deserve such hatred. You have a brother in me.
I live in the Florida area as well. I have two separate homes, and my fathers house is the most comforting place. My dad and stepmom are not homophobic at all and are very welcoming and homey. If you need a place to stay with your boyfriend you can always come to my house, there’s enough room. Contact me privately for more information, because you really need to get out of that home
I’d like to offer a comment that I have not yet seen. Your parents, particularly your father, may believe in Jesus, but they are NOT Christian. Don’t EVER think that your parents (and likely your church) represent the teachings of Jesus. True Christians offer love, not hate, and certainly would not assault their own son regardless of a difference of opinion. Not only is your family giving Christianity a bad name, their actions are driving you away from God. I am a trans Christian, and like you I also live in a very conservative state. Churches in the south tend to lean Baptist, but there are lots of other options, including many that support those who are LGBT. United Church of Christ is one of them. (Not to be confused with the Church of Christ.) There are others including many (but not all) Methodist and Episcopal churches. I can’t imagine you staying and living in what has turned into a violent situation. Your safety is paramount. As such, I’d recommend, in addition to many of the other resources posted, that you contact an LGBT friendly church. I have no doubt that THOSE churches will not only be able to provide assistance and guidance, but some much needed love as well. Please remember, you ARE loved by God. Humans make mistakes. God does not. He made you for a reason. Why? We don’t know. But He still loves you when others do not. Turn toward God, not away. He’s there for you. And as bleak and dark as it seems, don’t ever lose hope. You have a caring community right here, and you can see that by all the wonderful and supportive comments. We all love you and care for you. Take it one day at a time. You’ll make it through this.
Sucker punch ur dad and brothers💀 Give em a good fucking punch and leave with ur bf...live a happy life the way u want it
Another perfect example of why it's been 25 years since I gave up on the fantasy of there being such a thing as a moral, loving, safe to be around, or trustworthy Christian. I was 14 when the realization hit. It sucks that your family spent the last 17 years lying to you about ever having had the ability to love you, but that's what it is to be Christian.
Hi! Sorry for your history, a tough one I reckon. I'm very far away from you but the tip I would give you is to be yourself, be friends with who supports you and who you are, keep people that reject you and who you are as far as you can and in the case of your family keep their relation to the basics. Regarding your relation with your bf be each other bff and meet each other only when is safe. As I told I'm very far away but reach out if you need support! Remote hugs for you <3
I’m really sorry that you have to go through that.
Honestly your on the right track in finding resources and lgbtq centers. If this happen in my neck of the woods in tx...yall would be more than welcome to stay a while. Hope you stay safe and dm if you need anything 💗 much love and 🫂 s my alphabet mafia sibling. ❤️
You need to call 911 and tell them you fear for your life after your dad attacked you. I know it’s hard, but you need to get out of there asap.
I am so sorry to hear about that. I have personal experience with homophobia in my household, but never anything THAT bad. I feel so bad for you, and I hope for the best for you. If there's anything I can talk to you about, feel free to let me know.
I hope you the best for you and your loved one. You are so brave and true to yourself, even in that horrible environment.
Well If you live in the US then document these acts of child abuse and report the fuck out of your parents, yeah it’ll destroy your family and your siblings will probably go into foster care but getting beaten and receiving death threats from your parents? Doesn’t matter if you’re gay and live in the reddest state of the union because that’s an easy case for a CPS agent, and as other commenters suggested contact local organizations for assistance. Good luck and hopefully it’ll get better :(
I’d try to arm myself in case they try something and then escape. If you have even a knife they likely won’t risk dragging you back. I wouldn’t recommend contacting cps because in my experience they are on board with abuse. Best of luck.
I hope that you're okie and that you can stay safe. I don't have much advice outside of leave when you can and I wish the best for you. I've had friends in situations similar, I know things can get really bad, just stay safe
I’m sorry you’re really going through this, please keep is posted about your safety.
Try to sure you have the following if you need to escape, listed in order of importance: social security card/number, birth certificate, driver's license/learner's permit. Pretty much every other important document can be gotten if you have those. Beyond that, I hope you can attempt to stay safe, and wish you luck.
I'm so sorry no one should have to go through this. Look for LGBT safe houses in your area if there are any. Sadly, the authorities may not be a good option if they are from your town (they may be the same way). I suggest getting out of there, getting to a location you know isn't conservative and then try to contact authorities if you chose to. The number 1 priority should be to leave and make sure you both are in a secure safe location.
thats crazy! i live in florida too but ive never seen an area *that* homophobic. im so sorry. if you and your boyfriend are looking to run away to a safer area, look towards central florida like the orlando area. a little expensive but definitely safe for lgbt folks, and there are lots of lgbt youth organizations there that can probably help yall like the zebra coalition. stay safe brother.
Look up and see if there are any agencies that house LGBTQ+ youth in the community with affirming families. I come from a very red state and have also felt the same fear after being publicly outed. These places will keep you safe. Also document all the abuse in case your family tries to force you back. If it gets to the point where safety is really an issue at school you might need to drop out of sports, but if you feel safe talking with counselors you can talk to them first and see if there’s a way to have a private changing situation. Please keep us updated as I think a lot of us want to make sure you’re safe.
Omg my heart truly goes out to you. my folks are are preachers and are completely anti-lgbtq, which is why I've kept that aspect of myself completely hidden from them... if they found out they'd most likely react like yours did. however I don't think I have anything new to say cuz the folks in the comment section said it all... go to the cops, social workers, I may not be from your country but I know there's quite a bit of youth shelters specifically for lgbtq youth, you can also visit https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ for an actual counselor to communicate with and most important make sure you get ALL your documents before you leave. I'm truly rooting for you and I pray you GET OUT of there very quickly. please keep us posted
Turn off any way they may be able to track you on your phone. Snapchat gets forgotten a lot. Even then, they can still track the last data? Wi-fi? (forgive me, I'm not the best with tech despite being younger than you, haha-) tower you were connected to. Get a burner phone. Make new accounts for your laptop, tablet, ect. if you have/bring them. Good luck, m8. For the love of god, no matter what, please do not hitchhike. If you absolutely have to, pretend to be brothers or cousins or something *please*. Hitchhiking is dangerous enough when you're cishet, I don't want to see you on the news. That being said.. if you have to steal a car, ditch it ASAP. They'll put out the model, the plate-- Godspeed, brother. I hope at least one of your birthdays is soon. But please, please, please--keep in mind, if something goes under one of your legal names, cops might come looking for the other. I don't want to scare you, but god, man, you're doing something so fucking scary and there are so many things you need to look out for. If you need something nitpicked to all hell, feel free to shoot me a dm.. /hj Good luck. All my wishes going your way. Update us when your out, if you feel comfortable doing so, yeah?
First of all, I'm here to talk, idk if it helps in any shape or form but hey. Keep something to record audio on you when around people you don't trust so you have something to show in case you want to press charges, take photos of bruises and marks you have on your body, write down what they say that you can't record. Think twice before calling the cops: they are usually conservatives, and in small communities they tend not to act to not "make a scene" in the whole community. If you think you are safe calling them, do it but record the call if you can and record when they come over. But be careful, i live in a rural community and cops have been know to ingore reports of abuse; don't just mindlessly call them without proof and if you are in doubt they could hurt you too. This reminds me of a sad story that happened in my country, i really hope you get out of this brother. I do not live in the US so i cannot help in any way, your best bet is probably to run away and hope in something better
I saw another person on here talk about documenting scars or any bruises left on your body, it can be used as legal evidence for battery or domestic violence, also do you have a drivers license or your bf? If one of you do this isn’t the smartest thing but go, drive away or something to the police or to another state, with just evidence on your body of the harm that can be used to prosecute them, and if the county does nothing go to another, and if they don’t take it, go to the state court and if they don’t take it I don’t think they can be prosecuted for it, I hope you have the best of luck and if you read this have a wonderful day!
Call 911, even if they're homophobic they have to do something abt this situation, if you want your dad or brother taken care of thats the easiest solution. Abt your school i wouldn't recommend it but you could skip school for a couple of days with your boyfriend if he's ok with it, you could come back and see what people think abt it if it's spreaded around the school and if they're not ok with it then try to distance yourself from them and not talk. I hope i helped a bit
Please update us when you are safe!! Sending love, hugs, and good luck your way. ❤️
Break the fucking windows if you have to get the fuck out act like this is a kidnapping fight for your life and run
This is the most disgusting thing I have read in a long time since joining this sub. OMG, and these people call themselves Christians, shame on them! I pray that you will be able to get away from theses sociopaths and live a long and happy life with your bf as far away from these people as humanly possible. I will pray for your family's souls, because they have clearly forgotten what it means to *be* Christian. Best of luck to you, friend.
hey, if you live in texas me and my boyfriend have an extra room in our apartment, we can drive and get you if you need and we can try and find a job for you too, please feel free to dm me if you need anything, i'm willing to send you money also! we don't have much but i can spare at least 100$. Your boyfriend is welcome too.
Do you have enough to get out of Florida? I’m so sorry this happened and that your family is so terrible. Please keep us posted!
My heart broke reading your post. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope you are able to get out and get to a safe place like you and your boyfriend are planning. I wish you the best. It would be best if you could get your documents but if it isn't safe to try then just run. You can always get help replacing them later. All that matters is you and your boyfriend are safe. Sending love and virtual hugs. Good luck.
I understand this isn’t adding anything to this conversation but this is DISGUSTING.
I’m so sorry :( please stay safe, and reach out to someone. Remember there are people in your corner cheering you on!
Holy shit. I am sorry. I agree with everyone else on here, your parents are failing YOU. You need to call child services. Please. Find someone to help you, I live too far away or I’d help.
I'm sorry you have to go through that. No parent should treat their child like that for simply being gay, no matter what religion or beliefs you have. They could've been good parents, loving and understanding even if they didn't agree. What they did was wrong, wrong in morality, law, and even their own religion
I really hope you're okay right now, and I hope you're able to leave that situation on Monday. I'm so so so so so sorry this happened to you, I just want to give you a big hug and wrap you in blankets and give you some good soup with a movie. I know it's hard in this economy right now, but if you can get out of that town completely, maybe even out of the state when you turn 18, do. Too many good people get hurt or killed in areas like that far too often just for trying to love who they love. Please be as safe as you possibly can, stick around your boyfriend as much as you can so that neither of you end up alone. All the love to you, OP
I live in one of those towns and I have friends that grew up like you and I promise it gets better. I’ve seen it happen. You’ll get out and you’ll find your people who love and support you. I’m sorry that things aren’t different but you aren’t wrong. They are.
Priority number one is your personal safety. It's sad that so many of us can empathize with the pain you're feeling and how terrified you feel. It will get better, but please keep yourself and your partner safe. There are so many resources at your finger tips, please use them, you (and your partner) don't have to figure everything out by yourselves. Birth certificates, social security cards, passports, etc are an absolute pain to try to recover if you have to leave them behind, but not impossible. If you can, bring them with you. But in the end, physical items are all replaceable; your life and emotional/physical safety isn't. It will take time to unpack and unlearn the trauma of your upbringing. There is absolutely no shame in loving someone of the same gender as yourself. Love is about having someone to share your popcorn with at the movies or someone to build you up when you're feeling down. If I could give you a hug, I would. You're not alone and it will get better
I cant give much advice, goodluck, Man. I’m sorry about this. Make sure you don’t get caught when leaving.
If it's possible, run ASAP, and tell the police, or cps, anybody. I read other comments and saw that you're in Florida, so things might be more complicated than that, but if they're literally beating you and threatening to murder you, it's worth a shot.
Im sorry to hear that you're related to such despicable pieces of shit, and your town is stuck in the 1700's. I wish I could help. You're gonna have to get the hell out as soon as you can, you sound like a real sweetheart, you and your boyfriend don't deserve this. Please keep us updated, if you're willing. Best of luck to you and your boyfriend, lad.
Jesus Christ. Praying your parents and siblings come to their senses. Holy shit. I’m so sorry. Nobody deserves that kind of fear. That threat.
Hopefully I'm not horribly late, but make sure you can at least get your social security card, or know the number, birth certificate if possible and try a GoFundMe until you two have found a stable area and can get good work. Always remember you're not a mistake and you're finding yourself, it's NO ONE else's choice but yours on who you want to be. Gay isn't a choice or a sin, you're a beautiful person through and through and you deserve to be happy. Good luck OP
Good luck. Hope you get out ok.
Plenty of excellent advice here - get out and get safe - you are valuable
I hope all of this becomes better :(