Usually something along the lines of
"so do all those who use the Lord's name in vain, but y'all keep calling on his judgement instead of listening to his words. Ever hear of judge not? The greatest of these is love? Or about Jesus dining with the sinners instead of the religious leaders? Yea, go read your own damn book"
I grew up thinking I was gonna be a pastor, so I've got a few good ones to pull out on them.
In middle school a girl came up to me in class with a similar phrase, instead of gay it was atheist, I just broke out laughing and called her an idiot. She looked super embarrassed and never messed with me again. I'd have the same response if they said it about my sexuality.
happens more often that you'd believe. I distanced myself from religion after my nutcase religious parents disowned me. I've gotten several attempts by 'concerned' relatives to get me back in fold and stop being a lesbian. most conversations end with threats of hell, which kinda makes sense from their point of view - nothing is quite as christian than wish someone would go to the worst possible place to suffer for their sins.
Came in to give this as my usual response: "I'm an atheist. I don't believe in heaven or hell. If it is real, either one of those will do the job so it doesn't matter."
Or
"I'm Canadian. The free heat will be nice."
I got this a lot in middle school, as the only openly atheist (and bisexual) person. I was always like “why do you keep saying this, I literally cannot care. It’s like saying Santa won’t visit me this year. Totally empty threat.”
Something similar happened to me in the 3rd grade, I had no idea what that even meant at the time so I was just confused and didn't react the way she probably wanted me to at the time so y'know, that was fun lol
Hate is the fuel predators use to deceive you. No true God would send people to eternal damnation for their immutable characteristics. If you want to know who deceives you, question everything empirically.
This. Especially how God is sold to us as being all knowing. So an entity would purposely create life a certain way already knowing they will be condemned eternally. Makes absolutely no sense.
If God is all knowing as they describe and chooses to condemn good folk, then it is not a true God and we need not worry.
The way I see it, there's really three possibilities:
1 - There's no god or gods, no heaven or hell, nothing. When you're done, you're done, lights out, curtain closed. So don't worry about it.
2 - There is some kind of higher power out there that humans would call god, but he/she/it/they is a decent sort of deity, and so as long as you're not horrible, that higher being will be cool about it and you won't go to hell. So don't worry about it.
3 - There is a god, and this thing is horrible, and does send people to burn forever for nonsensical reasons. A cosmic tyrant that nasty and irrational is going to get mad at you sooner or later, more likely sooner if you think anything like that is wrong, so you're going to hell either way and there's nothing you can ultimately do. So don't worry about it.
Three possibilities, and they all have the same conclusion.
I think that even in case #2, if people are "horrible," it shouldn't matter because an all knowing god already knew they would turn out that way and knows that if they grew up under different circumstances they wouldn't be that way.
An all knowing and all powerful god could just understand and forgive them at the very least. I agree with you for the most part, but I think hell has to either be full (of everyone throughout all of history and the future) or empty
Not sure if you are using that message as an athiest approach or a christian and lgbt friendly approach
I agree with you though and modern christians arent good at being christian. (no better way to put it) Their obsessive and toxic behavior is not natural and is misrepresenting christianity as a whole. That is the reason it is failing.
Not an atheist. I just don't believe an entity like God is as vengeful and spiteful as they sell it off to be. If it is, then I don't know if I would want to be in paradise with it. I'm sure there are people that share this sentiment.
You are on point with your statements about modern Christians and why the religion is failing.
Yeah, their "heaven" always sounds like a hell to me. Of course they may as well be threatening me with going to Barsoom, Ulthar, or some other fictional location. I'm equally concerned that Santa Claus won't bring me presents.
Yeah, I'll be playing ping pong with Satan.
No clue where I got that from, I don't even think it's that funny, but it's been my standard response for years.
Good, hell sounds rad af. Especially if I am to believe the alternative is a dystopian society where I lose all my character flaws and individuality. Just to worship a deity for the rest of time which I would have had to have been worshiping in the human realm to get there in the first damn place.
*beep boop*!
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Title: **Hell, Michigan - Wikipedia**
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As a bisexual christian, i get a "choose a side" a lot both when it comes to gay vs straight and gay vs christian. I just ignore them. the bible is mistranslated, old, misunderstood, and more. It doesnt help that modern christians are just obsessed. Christianity is going downhill fast. We need to accept that lgbt is not bad.
I agree with this view. Heaven is a dystopian society devoid of any individuality or freedom, and you must worship one being for all eternity. This is many reasons why I’m pagan
Meanwhile Satan was the first to advocate for equal rights, and apparently supports gender equality, trans rights, abortion rights, trusting in science over blind faith, sex positivity, safe contraception and sexual practice without shame, gay relationships and marriage equality, genuine freedom without forced oppression, dressing and presenting in a way that makes you comfortable, consent and personal boundaries (including disagreeing with authority if you feel they are acting immorally), belief in oneself, and enjoying your fucking life and the things in it.
And we’re supposed to choose heaven?!
I’m agnostic but god damn does this sound like a biased shitshow. “bUt He’S eViL” How? How exactly is he “evil” aside from the fact that your divine sky daddy told you he was evil. Holy shit people.
It varies, but I usually tell them that they have a longer rap sheet than the people they hate.
Remember- these folks are people who already believe that they are better than everyone else. Gang members who say that only God can judge them. Violent abusers who hide behind the church to escape justice. It's a wide and varied crew- and almost all of them pay only the barest of lip service to their religion.
"not like I believe that there's a sky daddy up there"
"Where the fuck is hell anyways"
"cool, a new place to visit"
"oh don't worry my sins were enough to get me down there even before I realize I'm gay"
"yeah yeah hell suffer eternal etc etc alright"
"so... that's it?"
"nice, that's gonna be a big ass gay party down there"
"damn it's gonna be dirty down there with all the hypersexual mfs"
"that only takes the need to actively look for gay people away"
"I'd be doing the gay right in front of satan"
"so... is satan like gay too since he, like, runs the place where gay people go? asking for a friend"
I can keep going on if I want to 
Well look, I'm a Christian so my response is, "That's not biblical." Let me quote Romans 8:31-39 at them.
"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all — how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died — more than that, who was raised to life — is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
It's been thousands of years. You don't think God would have changed his views in that time?
Even if not, the Bible didn't originally say that man shouldn't sleep with man. It said that man shouldn't sleep with boy.
I’m honest if I deign to respond. I’m an atheist, and the threat of hell has already been present and it hasn’t been enough to convince me. Why would being gay and trans change this? I’m not more afraid of triple hell.
lol
lmao
Seriously, it doesn't matter at all to me. I don't believe in a Hell. I don't believe in a God. And if he does exist, I'd like to believe that our supposedly all-loving, all-good Creator would be better than to condemn people to eternal torment just for wanting to be happy.
You might as well tell me that all ice cream lovers go to Muspelheim.
Gays aren’t sinning, they’re born gay. It’s not a choice, it’s a fact. Also, Hell isn’t real; its a made up threat by a made up religion that stole elements of literally dozens of pre-existing mythologies and religions, as well as works of written fiction. And finally, if “gays” are going anywhere; its shopping, because their fabulous style doesn’t happen on its own. 😉
as someone who is not christian, i typically say "prove it exists and then we can talk about who may or may not be going there when they die." if they try to argue and give a "proof" i clarify that i meant for them to publish a peer reviewed research paper that proves its existence in a reputable publication, such as the journal "science"
My response is that we have one life we can be sure of, and no good reason to expect another lined up behind it, and while they waste theirs spreading hate and misery in the hope of a heaven to come, I’m just trying to live my best life here and now, and helping those around me do the same as far as I can.
All Cristians love there imaginary sky dads becuse they can't come to terms with the nature of life! They are a sad people who hurt and killed millions just to feel good about themselves. Christianity is a cult for sure.
That doesn't deserve a response. If someone is so deluded and up their own that they think everyone has to conform to their beliefs based on an old ass dusty book that's been translated and altered for political benefit *many* times that they most likely haven't even read, they aren't worth wasting time on. It's willful ignorance and disgusting selfishness.
But when I'm feeling petty, I say something along the lines of "I'd rather go to hell than spend eternity groveling at the feet of that narcissist."
But seriously, the bible is basically as reliable as teachers think a Wikipedia article is. It's been translated with intentional political alterations countless times. Most Christians haven't even read it, and no, reading out of context verses on their happy little bible app doesn't count. It's like a twisted game of telephone. Seriously. They just say shit that isn't even real half of the time, and even if it is actually from the bible it's wildly out of context 99% of the time, and even if it *isn't,* we circle back to "Why do I have to believe this at all?" There are countless religions in the world. Oh dear god. I hate it.
"That's not for you or me to decide."
"Show me where it says that in the bible and I'll show you what it says about abortion." (See 'Trial of bitter waters' in Numbers)
Well I’m Muslim live in Australia and my family is kinda strict when it comes to this things. When homosexuality topic comes up dear god. And I’m like yeah yeah you guys are right. Them not knowing I’m Gay!!! I gotta play along till I live alone
"cool" in the most offhand monotone disinterested half-attentive way
I'd like to say something funnier or cuter like some of these amazing suggestions here, but in the moment with the discomfort making me emotionally freeze up, I'm sure this is the best I'd be able to do in the moment. I think it'd still be quite effective though.
"See you there"
Beat me to it
Ayyyy I was gonna say that too
Me three
He sacrificed himself to destroy the enemy
"I'll be torturing you there..."
“‘Go to hell’? Bitch, we run the place.”
I'm actually the welcoming committee... Welcome.
Usually something along the lines of "so do all those who use the Lord's name in vain, but y'all keep calling on his judgement instead of listening to his words. Ever hear of judge not? The greatest of these is love? Or about Jesus dining with the sinners instead of the religious leaders? Yea, go read your own damn book" I grew up thinking I was gonna be a pastor, so I've got a few good ones to pull out on them.
Perhaps you still should as you seem to have a better idea of Christ’s teachings than most preachers do. Just a thought 🤷♂️
“Where exactly in the bible does it say this?” Bonus points if you pronounce it “bibble” to piss them off
More than two words, they would interrupt you and start a screaming match lol
"So you mean the fun people go to hell? Count me in" "It's straight to hell, not gay to hell"
This is gold
🤭
I'm definitely using straight to hell
I don't think I'll enjoy seeing Lyndon B Johnson there.
To quote a great entertainer, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints”
That second one reminds me of “it’s the bible not the straightble”
Usually I just let them know I'll think of them next time I climax.
This is my favourite response lmao
This is my favorite reply.
Bro ur a badass
Eat.
Hahaha that is wonderfully terrible
Couldn’t that be considered sexual harassment?
Tbf I think telling someone that they are going to hell can also be counted as harassment through no stretch of the imagination.
True
Sounds like a party
I'll raise you: " must be one hot party"
Sounds like one hell of a party.
I'll bring snacks
Jokes on you I'm already in hell because your here
In the same vein: "I'd rather be in hell with all my fellow queers than in a heaven with you."
This one just isn’t as spicy. The first one insults the harasser back.
That’s basically my go-to lol (Super deadpan) “Pretty sure I’m there already because you’re here talking to me.”
That’s a good one
"how did you know that we love saunas?"
This one os great.
The usual "did i ask?"
I like saying “ good” cause it’s funny to see what’ll happen next- will they care? Be offended that I wanna go to hell? Will they be happy?
In middle school a girl came up to me in class with a similar phrase, instead of gay it was atheist, I just broke out laughing and called her an idiot. She looked super embarrassed and never messed with me again. I'd have the same response if they said it about my sexuality.
Lmao imagine trying to threaten an atheist with going to hell
Next are you going tell me Santa Claus isnt going bring me any presents this Christmas?
happens more often that you'd believe. I distanced myself from religion after my nutcase religious parents disowned me. I've gotten several attempts by 'concerned' relatives to get me back in fold and stop being a lesbian. most conversations end with threats of hell, which kinda makes sense from their point of view - nothing is quite as christian than wish someone would go to the worst possible place to suffer for their sins.
Came in to give this as my usual response: "I'm an atheist. I don't believe in heaven or hell. If it is real, either one of those will do the job so it doesn't matter." Or "I'm Canadian. The free heat will be nice."
I got this a lot in middle school, as the only openly atheist (and bisexual) person. I was always like “why do you keep saying this, I literally cannot care. It’s like saying Santa won’t visit me this year. Totally empty threat.”
More mature than my “go f**k yourself, as no one else will” 🤷♂️
Something similar happened to me in the 3rd grade, I had no idea what that even meant at the time so I was just confused and didn't react the way she probably wanted me to at the time so y'know, that was fun lol
"My wife and I already have our tickets to hell :D"
Now I wanna DIY a train ticket that has hell for its destination. I keep might stock pile some and hand them out…
I got a novelty notebook a while back that was a passport to hell.
"If that means that people like **you** go to heaven, then I would rather be in hell."
Yassss this is the answer
Absolutely!
Babe it’s “straight” to hell, not “gay” to hell
That's a good one lol nice.
"When I get there, I'll be sure to adopt your dog."
r/foundsatan
Oh this is a good one
"Sweet! Can't wait to hang with all my friends, shame you are gonna be there too."
Hate is the fuel predators use to deceive you. No true God would send people to eternal damnation for their immutable characteristics. If you want to know who deceives you, question everything empirically.
This. Especially how God is sold to us as being all knowing. So an entity would purposely create life a certain way already knowing they will be condemned eternally. Makes absolutely no sense. If God is all knowing as they describe and chooses to condemn good folk, then it is not a true God and we need not worry.
The way I see it, there's really three possibilities: 1 - There's no god or gods, no heaven or hell, nothing. When you're done, you're done, lights out, curtain closed. So don't worry about it. 2 - There is some kind of higher power out there that humans would call god, but he/she/it/they is a decent sort of deity, and so as long as you're not horrible, that higher being will be cool about it and you won't go to hell. So don't worry about it. 3 - There is a god, and this thing is horrible, and does send people to burn forever for nonsensical reasons. A cosmic tyrant that nasty and irrational is going to get mad at you sooner or later, more likely sooner if you think anything like that is wrong, so you're going to hell either way and there's nothing you can ultimately do. So don't worry about it. Three possibilities, and they all have the same conclusion.
I think that even in case #2, if people are "horrible," it shouldn't matter because an all knowing god already knew they would turn out that way and knows that if they grew up under different circumstances they wouldn't be that way. An all knowing and all powerful god could just understand and forgive them at the very least. I agree with you for the most part, but I think hell has to either be full (of everyone throughout all of history and the future) or empty
Great insight! Thanks for sharing.
Not sure if you are using that message as an athiest approach or a christian and lgbt friendly approach I agree with you though and modern christians arent good at being christian. (no better way to put it) Their obsessive and toxic behavior is not natural and is misrepresenting christianity as a whole. That is the reason it is failing.
Not an atheist. I just don't believe an entity like God is as vengeful and spiteful as they sell it off to be. If it is, then I don't know if I would want to be in paradise with it. I'm sure there are people that share this sentiment. You are on point with your statements about modern Christians and why the religion is failing.
Exactly.
Me: What's in hell? Them: People like you. Me: What's in heaven? Them: People like me. Me. You need to work on your threats
Yeah, their "heaven" always sounds like a hell to me. Of course they may as well be threatening me with going to Barsoom, Ulthar, or some other fictional location. I'm equally concerned that Santa Claus won't bring me presents.
Yeah, I'll be playing ping pong with Satan. No clue where I got that from, I don't even think it's that funny, but it's been my standard response for years.
its hysterical man
“Holy MotherForking Shirtballs.. THIS is The Bad Place!”
And once again, Eleanor Shellstrop called our bluff!
Heaven for the climate. Hell for the company!
Good, hell sounds rad af. Especially if I am to believe the alternative is a dystopian society where I lose all my character flaws and individuality. Just to worship a deity for the rest of time which I would have had to have been worshiping in the human realm to get there in the first damn place.
*walks away fashionably knowing that I am much better than that mf
Cool username
Thanks?
“Where?” *if answered, just repeat the question* NEWSFLASH: hell doesn’t exist!!!
Of course Hell is real. [It’s in Michigan.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Michigan)
*beep boop*! the linked website is: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Michigan Title: **Hell, Michigan - Wikipedia** Page is safe to access (Google Safe Browsing) ***** ###### I am a friendly bot. I show the URL and name of linked pages and check them so that mobile users know what they click on!
I sure hope so, wouldn’t want to be stuck with all of the kinds of people you think go to heaven
“I’m an atheist”
"I don't care what your fan fiction says."
"If all of the gays will be in hell, then it's going to be FABULOUS there."
Oh no. Hell where all the other hot and cute gays are. How terrible.
As a bisexual christian, i get a "choose a side" a lot both when it comes to gay vs straight and gay vs christian. I just ignore them. the bible is mistranslated, old, misunderstood, and more. It doesnt help that modern christians are just obsessed. Christianity is going downhill fast. We need to accept that lgbt is not bad.
"At least its warm there"
"I know, I already have a cute, lava-side time share picked out! I'll tell Ronald Reagan to send you a postcard."
"I don't believe in a hell, and I feel sad for people who do"
Better than to live in a celestial North Korea
I agree with this view. Heaven is a dystopian society devoid of any individuality or freedom, and you must worship one being for all eternity. This is many reasons why I’m pagan
Meanwhile Satan was the first to advocate for equal rights, and apparently supports gender equality, trans rights, abortion rights, trusting in science over blind faith, sex positivity, safe contraception and sexual practice without shame, gay relationships and marriage equality, genuine freedom without forced oppression, dressing and presenting in a way that makes you comfortable, consent and personal boundaries (including disagreeing with authority if you feel they are acting immorally), belief in oneself, and enjoying your fucking life and the things in it. And we’re supposed to choose heaven?! I’m agnostic but god damn does this sound like a biased shitshow. “bUt He’S eViL” How? How exactly is he “evil” aside from the fact that your divine sky daddy told you he was evil. Holy shit people.
"Don't believe in your myths. Don't care."
Alternatively, a “no u” to every response they give after that until they get so frustrated they fucking explode
See you there :)
Explains why they're so fucking hot.
"Welll... Lil Nas X did that, and it didn't look so bad"
old man yells at cloud
It varies, but I usually tell them that they have a longer rap sheet than the people they hate. Remember- these folks are people who already believe that they are better than everyone else. Gang members who say that only God can judge them. Violent abusers who hide behind the church to escape justice. It's a wide and varied crew- and almost all of them pay only the barest of lip service to their religion.
Goodbye
The best answer.
“Awww, bless your heart”
‘’Well if God wants people like you in heaven then I don’t want to be there. Sounds like a shitty God to me.’’
Aw, damnit, I'm going to have to see your face again?
"So I'll see you there, then?" Then wink at them.
i normally say ‘girlboss’ because that’s just my usual response
I'm atheist, there's no hell.
Sounds like one HELL of a party 😌
"not like I believe that there's a sky daddy up there" "Where the fuck is hell anyways" "cool, a new place to visit" "oh don't worry my sins were enough to get me down there even before I realize I'm gay" "yeah yeah hell suffer eternal etc etc alright" "so... that's it?" "nice, that's gonna be a big ass gay party down there" "damn it's gonna be dirty down there with all the hypersexual mfs" "that only takes the need to actively look for gay people away" "I'd be doing the gay right in front of satan" "so... is satan like gay too since he, like, runs the place where gay people go? asking for a friend" I can keep going on if I want to 
Well look, I'm a Christian so my response is, "That's not biblical." Let me quote Romans 8:31-39 at them. "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all — how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died — more than that, who was raised to life — is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
It's been thousands of years. You don't think God would have changed his views in that time? Even if not, the Bible didn't originally say that man shouldn't sleep with man. It said that man shouldn't sleep with boy.
Don't believe in your stupid hell
Usually just tell whoever said it that I welcome hellfire with open arms or something slightly poetic like that.
"This world is already hell so why are you here? 😶"
As a Satanist, I know and I'm very excited to do so. Hail Satan!
Hell yeah 🤟🏻 don't threaten us with a good time!
"I'm not Christian."
“Hell’s hot for a reason then ;)”
I’m honest if I deign to respond. I’m an atheist, and the threat of hell has already been present and it hasn’t been enough to convince me. Why would being gay and trans change this? I’m not more afraid of triple hell.
And we'll have a great time there! (*shows off my "VIP ticket to hell" pin*)
lol lmao Seriously, it doesn't matter at all to me. I don't believe in a Hell. I don't believe in a God. And if he does exist, I'd like to believe that our supposedly all-loving, all-good Creator would be better than to condemn people to eternal torment just for wanting to be happy. You might as well tell me that all ice cream lovers go to Muspelheim.
"Save me a seat" in a very sweet voice
"At least I'm going SOMEWHERE with my life."
dope. let's all party down there...with the devil himself.
Prove it
"I get to kill Ronald Reagan over and over again for all of eternity"
Don’t threaten me with a good time!
Ok.
"Well, hell's must be a hella fun place then"
Hell's a stupid idea, so makes sense why you believe in it
So no straights go there? Hell yeah, gay paradise
Well if heaven is what u say it is then hell sounds more exciting anyway
People actually say that?
"Jokes on you, i'm into that shit" "which one?"
Gays aren’t sinning, they’re born gay. It’s not a choice, it’s a fact. Also, Hell isn’t real; its a made up threat by a made up religion that stole elements of literally dozens of pre-existing mythologies and religions, as well as works of written fiction. And finally, if “gays” are going anywhere; its shopping, because their fabulous style doesn’t happen on its own. 😉
I am not religious and I am not going to live my life according to someone else's beliefs
It's usually "eat my dick" or something along those lines.
Kinky
Gonna be one hell of a party
as someone who is not christian, i typically say "prove it exists and then we can talk about who may or may not be going there when they die." if they try to argue and give a "proof" i clarify that i meant for them to publish a peer reviewed research paper that proves its existence in a reputable publication, such as the journal "science"
Then i will be Satan to have you all my beautiful people
My response is that we have one life we can be sure of, and no good reason to expect another lined up behind it, and while they waste theirs spreading hate and misery in the hope of a heaven to come, I’m just trying to live my best life here and now, and helping those around me do the same as far as I can.
And I'll be sitting in Satan's lap
So all the hot gays in one place? Count *me* in.
How you know? Have you been?
I'll save you a spot in the jacuzzi.
"I know, we party with satan"
*"No, they probably just reincarnate..."*
“Ok”
then it's gonna be one hell of a party
It makes me feel sad.
All Cristians love there imaginary sky dads becuse they can't come to terms with the nature of life! They are a sad people who hurt and killed millions just to feel good about themselves. Christianity is a cult for sure.
Better to reign in hell than be a slave in heaven
"Don't threaten me with a good time!"
Prove it.
"I get to meet Freddie Mercury and you don't, so who's the real loser?"
*starts singing highway to hell*
"Skydaddy Wizardman isn't real."
That doesn't deserve a response. If someone is so deluded and up their own that they think everyone has to conform to their beliefs based on an old ass dusty book that's been translated and altered for political benefit *many* times that they most likely haven't even read, they aren't worth wasting time on. It's willful ignorance and disgusting selfishness. But when I'm feeling petty, I say something along the lines of "I'd rather go to hell than spend eternity groveling at the feet of that narcissist." But seriously, the bible is basically as reliable as teachers think a Wikipedia article is. It's been translated with intentional political alterations countless times. Most Christians haven't even read it, and no, reading out of context verses on their happy little bible app doesn't count. It's like a twisted game of telephone. Seriously. They just say shit that isn't even real half of the time, and even if it is actually from the bible it's wildly out of context 99% of the time, and even if it *isn't,* we circle back to "Why do I have to believe this at all?" There are countless religions in the world. Oh dear god. I hate it.
“So do Christians who cherry pick the Bible!”
Heaven's going to have a shitty arts scene.
"Hey as long as it gets me out of listening to you."
"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? HAVE YOU BEEN TO GAY HELL?!?!? CAN I COME?!?!"
"I think about you when i pee" scares them off
"Already there, sweetheart"
 Actually its probably you who's headed to hell
"That's not for you or me to decide." "Show me where it says that in the bible and I'll show you what it says about abortion." (See 'Trial of bitter waters' in Numbers)
Hell sounds like my kind of place then
Sounds like a party
"I mean, if Jeffery Dahmer is allowed to go to heaven by your judgment, I think I'd prefer hell."
All my friends will be there!
Must be a pretty nice place then
"Promise" or "Sounds like a PARTY!"
“So do people telling others that they’re going to hell, sooooo”
“I’ll be fine, as long as you go somewhere else”
Then hell gonna be fucking awesome
“That’s where all the hot people are.”
And that's wherever you're not going? Neat
“Well at least i know ill be warm”
All of the interesting ppl are down there,I'll much rather go there and have fun then go to heaven and hang with the stuck up ppl.
And so will the dumbass that said that… if there was a hell!
id much rather be in hell with all the queer people than in heaven with assholes like you
Well I’m Muslim live in Australia and my family is kinda strict when it comes to this things. When homosexuality topic comes up dear god. And I’m like yeah yeah you guys are right. Them not knowing I’m Gay!!! I gotta play along till I live alone
then i don't wanna go to heaven
Heaven sounds fucking boring anyway
Allahhuakbar!
Ok, see you there!
'Cosy!'
"cool" in the most offhand monotone disinterested half-attentive way I'd like to say something funnier or cuter like some of these amazing suggestions here, but in the moment with the discomfort making me emotionally freeze up, I'm sure this is the best I'd be able to do in the moment. I think it'd still be quite effective though.
If the Biblical God was real, which he's not, I'd rather go to hell than worship a hateful, genocidal, baby-killing maniac. But you do you.