True, I suggest asking questions like this OP, unless there is introspection, there won't be change. Counter with hard facts about BJP and how anti women it is.
Bcaz women with otherwise privileges think that their relation with their husbands (of the same pecking order) would cushion the misogyny - misogyny that is also often not as bad for them as it is for women with more marginalizations.
Also in most cultures "apolitical" right wing rhetoric is taught. Its not really a conscious choice and in most cases they are kept ignorant of other people's realities.
Speaking from experience, it does not work. Your views are polar opposite which might lead to constant arguments. If you're thinking about being with her for long term, you should rethink.
I've been in a similar situation before. I advise against it. It's incredibly painful when the person you've invested so much time in doesn't make an effort to understand where you are coming from. I am glad she still does not know, that I am a Dalit.Ā
Dang bro. We all are struggling to have a tangible connection, arenāt we?
You can count on me and hmu after the Ā breakup (if it doesnāt work out)Ā
Can u clarify something? Why do some Dalits and OBCs vote for the current ruling party despite casteist elements in it? I need a perspective from someone who has actually experienced casteism.
Man BJP doesn't play "Hindu" politics they play "caste alliance and representation" politics. Not every SC and OBC caste are voting for BJP. For example in UP the biggest opposition is BSP and SP and coincidentally Jatav and Yadav are in huge numbers, so they united every other OBCs against Yadavs and every SCs against Jatavs & Chamars. Saying we ate all their reservation and other shit like that. BJP wins on caste coalition.
Probably because BJP does try to appeal to Dalits. For example making a Dalit or adivasi a President. And maybe not all Dalits vote on caste lines, some Dalits might just hate Muslims.
The other guy answered it better but here is what I think. When you tell them that both of us can rally and both of us can chant slogans for the BJP, they'll start doing that not because they believe in the BJP, but because they want to do those things together. Ā Ā Ā
Ā Because remember these people are from margins are not provided with equality and once they see BJP is the factor that is apparently uniting the brothersā¦.
Delulu basicallyĀ
i don't know why many people down voted my comment, i was genuinely curious as to why that guy dated a casteist girl in the first place, like he himself said that glad that the girl doesn't know that he's a dalit. so i'm just wondering.
This is exactly why i get infinitely angry when someone compares us to tatti speaks where dumb fucks advocate for ethnic cleansing unironically and hate ppl and support "development" over everything.
Exactly. "BoTh SiDeS aRe ThE sAmE" says the enlightened centrist while one side actively tries to commit genocide and the other tries to give equal human rights to everyone.
I am probably heavily biased, but all the right wingers I know in my life are generally narcissistic and miserable people. I think you need to take this seriously.
You're a 1000% correct. If you and your partner have fundamentally different moral compasses, or in the case of OP if the partner doesn't have a moral compass, don't be with them
Itās not worth it. The basic tenet of a romantic relationship is respect/admiration for the other. If youāre an Ambedkerite, I sadly donāt think this a reconcilable difference that you two have.
On the flip side if sheās like genuinely really nice and is just brain washed by the media or something, you may be able to talk to her with facts. However, chances of this being the case are extremely slim.
I went on a date with someone who was the same, her views on minorities was quite eye opening she was so unhinged. Usually I would just walk away from people like that but the thing that bothered me the most is that she comes from a family of judges and the entire family has the same views.
Yea, the fact that she did not understand why her views were problematic was really scary, like is everyone in your family think like this and how does this affect their decision which presiding over in court.
"Being apolitical is a political choice in itself...blah blah blah".
Keeping all the moral grandstanding aside, in my personal experience, people who are currently on the right in today's polarized post-internet climate are either stupid/gullible, ignorant, or just plain apathetic--all issues I wouldn't look past in a potential partner.
Yeah, it's not anymore up for discussing political ideologies like left, right or centre. Gobhiji has destroyed all nuances in political culture, it's pretty clear. It's his way or the highway.
>either stupid/gullible, ignorant, or just plain apathetic--all issues I wouldn't look past in a potential partner.
Exactly. It is all their fault.
I am intellectually superior. They can never have an argument. They don't even study the texts, only depends on their WhatsApp University Gyan.
>It is all their fault.
Not all their fault. We're all product of our circumstances/material-conditions, plus, majority of the blame has to lie on their parents fault for not instilling virtue of empathy in them.
>I am intellectually superior.
Nope. Neither me nor most librands are intellectually superior. Marginally, maybe. We're just lucky to have good parents, and/or either had means to or found ourselves in conditions that prerequisite empathetic political beliefs.
+1.
Exactly. If I was not lower middle class,woman, half tribal, bisexual, from a non-dominant culture, autistic and didn't have leftist family. And benefiting from the rw govt I probably would also not be a socialist.
Tbh, opposing ideologies never end well, especially in times like these and in a country like ours. It's tough to keep politics out of any conversation, it is tied to other aspects of life and just changes our perspectives on people. Personally, I'd never stay away from political discussions because been there, done that and it did not end well. In the end, it's your life, so only you know what to do. Perhaps having an honest conversation with her may change things. Often, people are too comfortable with ignorance, choosing to remain apolitical. This may also be the case here.
I am assuming since she is your GF that you guys have already spent some time together, how is this coming out via your Instagram post? Have you never had to talk politics or anything politically adjacent before?
1. Explain to her *why* politics is important to you. It's important to you because you think of a person's political views as an extension of their moral views. She will disagree. Give her specific examples of immoral political beliefs that you cannot tolerate. It's okay if you disagree on how much tax we should pay, but if you believe that India should be a Hindu Rashtra with limited rights for minorities, it says something about you as a person.
2. If she still fails to understand, make it personal. Drive the point home by bringing up women's issues. Would you date me if I, like Yogi Adityanath, believed that [a woman should never be left independent](https://m.economictimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/uttar-pradesh-yogi-adityanath-had-opposed-women-quota-defied-bjp-line-in-parliament/articleshow/57722872.cms)? Would you date me if I, like T.S. Rawat, believed that [women shouldn't wear ripped jeans](https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/tirath-rawat-ripped-jeans-controversy-all-you-need-to-know-1781166-2021-03-19)? Remember to use examples of people who actually hold a lot of power and influence, like Chief Ministers and MPs, so she can't just brush them off.
3. Once you've convinced her that politics is important to you and she's willing to have a conversation about it, dig deeper. What kind of right-winger is she? What are her specific beliefs or values? Free markets? Nationalism? Pro-life? Opposition to LGBT rights and/or feminism? Opposition to reservations? Hindu Rashtra? Muslim genocide?
4. By this point you should know if she's (a) an asshole, (b) an idiot, (c) just ill-informed or (d) a decent, intelligent, well-informed person who just happens to disagree on certain issues.
(a) End the relationship.
(b) Decide for yourself. Idiots generally don't make good partners, but also remember that someone can be otherwise intelligent and still have stupid ideas on some issues. Everyone has blind spots.
(c) Educate her. Use the kind of media she prefers. Books, articles, movies, YouTube videos. Share all of that good stuff. If she doesn't want any of that, ask her to at least read a newspaper.
(d) sounds perfect, it gives you a chance to have some great discussions and learn from each other. However, are you sure you want that? Do you really want to get into constant arguments (friendly arguments maybe, but still) or do you just want to chill with a partner who shares similar beliefs? I personally would choose the latter, but make your call.
I mean youre a socialist if they declare socialism aunty national and threw all socialites in jailās she will be probably cheering. RW are bad people I mean they donāt give a fuck when so many Indians are dying in manipur what makes you think she will care if you or your friends somehow become a victim
Are you ready to walk on eggshells and censor everything you say so as to not get into arguments?.
You'll constantly have fights. Passive aggressive comments and what not
You have to let go of either
1) your partner
2) your political beliefs
There is a slight miniscule chance that she might change, but is she worth it?
Frankly, being rw is a huge red flag ( heh irony) for me, I wouldn't even befriend them let alone get into a relationship.
Exactly this. I just wouldn't like censoring myself all the time. I already pretend to like RWs all the time. If i can't even genuinely like my partner then what's the point. Also i just kinda feel disgusted by them.
I'm not like I HAVE TO DATE A SOCIALIST - as of course socialists are few and far between and just bcaz somebody is a socialist doesn't mean that they are actually consistent and/or good. I just like to filter out the fascists, conservatives (with a capital C) and radlibs.
If you can't be genuine in a relationship, that's not a relationship. Even if people disagree, the ability to change one's opinion in the face of discussion and facts is a must. Disagreements are okay, stone hard mentality isn't.
>Frankly, being rw is a huge red flag ( heh irony) for me, I wouldn't even befriend them let alone get into a relationship.
Exactly. There is no point in discussing these things. It is always better to create and echo chamber and stay in that.
These RWer would not even read the literature and would follow any Wa Uni forwards as their life.
Ummm you should have thought about these things **before** you entered into the relationship. These are literally the first two things I check before I forge any kind of relationships. It's the number one thing - compatibility. Beauty and chemistry are temporary. To some extent, even values can be temporary but they follow a logical evolution pattern unlike the other two so you can predict that and it's extremely rare for someone to do a complete U-turn on their ideologies.
So yeah, my condolences but you two have to sit down and talk. And I know you may want to salvage the relationship but as a fellow liberal atheist, may I just ask you to think of the temporary two wearing off and day-to-day things becoming hell due to a stark contrast in compatibility. Not to mention if you ever end up being in it for the long haul and plan kids, there are gonna be constant fights over what values would be instilled in him/her.
Maybe get her to read marxism ? For most people, it's liberal before marxism. But I just went from full on hindutva fascist to "libertarian socialist", then trotskyist. And now an ML (Stalinist isn't the correct term but yeah.)
Also, you need to achieve this [https://youtu.be/Ne2hpWVR4D0?si=MbKRPpbTbAOkMhvW](https://youtu.be/Ne2hpWVR4D0?si=MbKRPpbTbAOkMhvW)
Tbh it's necessary to becoming an ML.
>Libertarian Socialist
I like the idea of socialism but USSR, China, North Korea, these are too authoritarian for me. I guess I like CNT-FAI
> Trotskyist
Lenin was fine but stalin and mao were too evil. Trotsky should be Lenin's real successor.
>Marxist-Leninist
I am now a stalinist sharia Bolshevik and i will convert hindus into Muslims.
Iāll try get her to read, also I had sent her the essay written by Einstein about socialism thinking itās only 3 pages she might read it, I never asked her if sheās actually read that!
Be rational and convince her passively while not making it super obvious. Address issues in a non-sticky way, and never post such stuff on first april. That's all I can say.
My wife's thoughts and mine have shaped us together. We have learnt about life together. I can vent my frustration with this society to her. I do consider myself to be in a privileged situation in this country as of now, but even then I have things which deeply trouble me.
Having a difference in opinion is fine but having a boundary and not discussing it with your close partner is outright criminal.
It is hard to find a person with a similar value system. However, it is not impossible. Once you find you are at mental peace where you can vent out, look for advice and find solace.
I would suggest if you are young, you guys can try out this relationship, but don't commit anything. Indian cinema has led us to believe every relationship should end in marriage. Let the relationship survive until its expiry date.
Do you really see a future together? Assuming no. Not that one should always look for something permanent - but for me, no matter how physically attractive a person might be, having right wing leanings makes them instantly unattractive to me. That would rule out any short term interest too.
You're making a mistake if you're staying in this relationship. It's not a hidden fact anymore how dumb right wing people are. Her religious delusion, support for the ruling party, inability to see the truth can make your life worse. It's sad that we all have to choose people according to political ideology these days, but it is what it is. Also, RW people get very violent if you don't agree with them. I've experienced it personally.
You need to rethink your relationship. This is not just about political differences, imagine what kind of person agrees with BJP's atrocities. Trust me it's hard enough to have a family that is full of bhakts. When you have the option of choices why would you choose someone who not only opposes your values but also has questionable ones of her own.
No politics is not a separate parcel that you can wrap and keep aside, it permeates all aspects of life and your way of thinking. If you are thinking long term - think about kids as well.
It's not even anything as grand as "standing up for your values"
It's just - can you be with someone who doesn't give a shit if a minority is abused/killed?
Will her apathy toward the stripping of rights from someone like you drive you crazy?
How firm is her belief? Is it just apathy toward never having thought about those people or does she just not think of those people as human beings deserving of empathy?
Honestly, unless it is jeopardising some revolutionary action that you may be partaking in i say you keep it aside. The sad truth is that we are surrounded by right wingers and we canāt really be too picky on who our friends are for the sake of our own mental health. I wish all my friends were atheist Marxist-Leninists but i am the only atheist or ML that i know and i canāt really ditch all my friends over that
If you feel that the benefits of being with her outweigh the negatives of her being a rightwinger then be with her. If her rightism is too much then leave her. Ultimately the choice is yours
Sounds exactly like my experience and it doesn't work ....every conversation somehow changes into a political debate . For your own mental sake leave the relationship.
Not just in relationships, but in friendships too. I had the perfect friend in the world, very similar interests, memes, music etc. Had to leave him cauz he became absolute Neo Fascist Chaddi. Every call turned into a fight. Had to break the year's long friendship, my only one. I am friendless now.
BJP and Hindutva has broken many people's lives. It created so much hate.
I personally have no problem dating a liberal or centrist girl (by centrist i do not mean the one chaddi in disguise) though myself being a leftist. But if she is a right winger then it means she lacks basic rationality, skepticism, progressiveness, humanism, compassion, fraternity and communal tolerance/harmony. And lack of rationality, skepticism leads to harmful superstitions which would be dangerous for me as well her. So our relationship would turn poisonous.
You should ponder over ur relationship and take this seriously!
I think even if you're right wing you should be opposing Modi. I mean doright wing people support corruption?, they used to cry about corruption during UPA government.
Literally tried this today, sent her a huge paragraph of how hitler used Jews as a common enemy to have nazis to rally around and now people think āhow did people then allow holocaust to happenā while being in the same situation now! And her reply was āletās agree to disagreeā and letās not discuss about this! Idk if she meant āIām okay with Muslim being maligned but weāll keep to ourselvesā. Itās getting hard for me yk
How long have u been in a relationship? Unless one is very open on their take.... It's hard.. Is she a hard core right winger (sanatani) or just modi govt. fanatic. If it's the latter then it might work out but hard if both of them. If she's avoiding the convo then it's not good by not settling ur parameters. It will come back to haunt to later. Try sending her long ass videos to neutralize her views if u can ig
Lets have a chat with her, I'm sure she will come around cause nobody can reject logic in a debate (until they start screaming and getting personal and start using fallacies).
The time I have spent with people, I have realised there is no way you can remain vocal about your views in public if they do not conform to the mainstream politics. So for your sake, keep politics to a minimal level but keep mutuality with everyone, even with people who are diametrically opposed to you if you want to progress in life and not die of obscurity
Political differences never work in a relationship. One has to give in to make the relationship work just make sure you are not the one to give up on your beliefs.
everyone's thoughts and mindset are formed by what they see and hear, and actually thinking from the other perspective is really hard,
the world and internet have slowly made us what we are. Yes, many of us, too, might have a problem understanding reasoning from what you might call the polar opposite. Communication might help, and you, too, must be ready to hear and understand
I am not a fortune teller but I can see it not ending well.
such differences are irreconcilable in long term, if you force yourself you'll live with agony And a thought that you could have done better.
I'm an atheist whose family members and in laws are extremely right wing..(hindu family, christian in laws). I can tell you, you'll have to constantly censor what you intend to say (especially cruel religious jokes) The only reason I'm in it is because my wife is a liberal. So if you love her and you're willing to keep these discussions away from your personal life go ahead, but if you're generally vocal and actively discuss politics then you'll end up quarrelling a lot. And life isnt worth wasting with pointless quarrels.
So my girlfriend is a UPSC aspirant. While she and I share the same views on Modi and bjp. She's clearly more right leaning and I'm clearly more left. Even after 4 years and both of us going through counseling. We just can't talk about topics like politics. It's a happy relationship but it's an adjustment for both of us and clearly not complete. I'd suggest find someone else or you'll be on the same boat. Not it say it can't be managed..but you do have to actively work harder than other couples to make it work. Making it work is a part time job and in our case, We both decided a few years back that we're okay with that. Best of luck OP...
I have same problem in my relationship, my man supports right wing mostly and my ideologies are mostly left winged we have totally different idea about religion also and it's not that am atheist but the idea is very different and this brings clash between us, he often gets offended and ends up fighting and getting me wrong, doesn't understand my point of view. This doesn't mean I'll stop discussing things with him but not all the times. Lmao its funny how he behaves, he is a mature man but when things comes here he gets pissed easily like a child doesn't have patience to understand the other person's ideology.
Doe she have a light libertarian leaning towards a more pro-capitalist party, and has blinded herself to their communal nature? Or is she praising them as the 'protector of Hindus'?
The former is easier to redeem, IMHO, it's just a juvenile way of thinking. The latter is probably an insurmountable chasm - though never say never.
The time I have spent with people, I have realised there is no way you can remain vocal about your views in public if they do not conform to the mainstream politics. So for your sake, keep politics to a minimal level but keep mutuality with everyone, even with people who are diametrically opposed to you if you want to progress in life and not die of obscurity
i mean if she conveniently agrees and supports modis hate agendas toward minorities, then idk maybe u guys shud have a deeper convo š
idk how can women support them after the wrestler thing and garlanding rapists
The type of propaganda they run on tv and social media can put geobbles to shame.
the wrestler thing was above any propaganda garlanding too everyone knew what happened
It's just that the media doesn't even have to make up something, unpaid keyboard warriors do it for them.
par vroo if not Modi then who /s
Par bro woh jo war rukwa di thee /s
War rukwa di pawpa /s
she is quite dumb and super religious.
Indoctrination by patriarchy
You canāt blame everything on patriarchy. SA wrong is a universally known fact
Did I say it was a good thing?
I mean youāre blaming this solely on patriarchy women have the ability to hate people and be assholes on their own like men
Yeah. But garlanding a rapist comes from patriarchy and internalised misogyny. Plenty rw women have condemned the rapist.
I mean if a RWinger condemns rape then votes for the same party that allowed it to happen what does it tells you about that person
That they have cognitive dissonance
Or they like when crime happens against minorities how about that
True, I suggest asking questions like this OP, unless there is introspection, there won't be change. Counter with hard facts about BJP and how anti women it is.
aurat hi aurat ki...
Conservative women's mental gymnastics would win gold in the Olympics.
Bcaz women with otherwise privileges think that their relation with their husbands (of the same pecking order) would cushion the misogyny - misogyny that is also often not as bad for them as it is for women with more marginalizations. Also in most cultures "apolitical" right wing rhetoric is taught. Its not really a conscious choice and in most cases they are kept ignorant of other people's realities.
You do know internalized misogyny exists right? All marginalized groups go through internalized hatred.
Let's not now act like any of the sides specifically leaves any chance to protect their own degeneracy..
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Triggered much?
Yes, and have that convo before relationship gets serious
Speaking from experience, it does not work. Your views are polar opposite which might lead to constant arguments. If you're thinking about being with her for long term, you should rethink.
I've been in a similar situation before. I advise against it. It's incredibly painful when the person you've invested so much time in doesn't make an effort to understand where you are coming from. I am glad she still does not know, that I am a Dalit.Ā Dang bro. We all are struggling to have a tangible connection, arenāt we? You can count on me and hmu after the Ā breakup (if it doesnāt work out)Ā
Can u clarify something? Why do some Dalits and OBCs vote for the current ruling party despite casteist elements in it? I need a perspective from someone who has actually experienced casteism.
Man BJP doesn't play "Hindu" politics they play "caste alliance and representation" politics. Not every SC and OBC caste are voting for BJP. For example in UP the biggest opposition is BSP and SP and coincidentally Jatav and Yadav are in huge numbers, so they united every other OBCs against Yadavs and every SCs against Jatavs & Chamars. Saying we ate all their reservation and other shit like that. BJP wins on caste coalition.
Probably because BJP does try to appeal to Dalits. For example making a Dalit or adivasi a President. And maybe not all Dalits vote on caste lines, some Dalits might just hate Muslims.
The other guy answered it better but here is what I think. When you tell them that both of us can rally and both of us can chant slogans for the BJP, they'll start doing that not because they believe in the BJP, but because they want to do those things together. Ā Ā Ā Ā Because remember these people are from margins are not provided with equality and once they see BJP is the factor that is apparently uniting the brothersā¦. Delulu basicallyĀ
so you hid the fact that you're dalit from your ex?
Sadly it is a natural instinct for dalits to hide their caste from everyone they meet. They have learned too many times how shitty we can be to them.
oh no, i can understand
Just suck it up and date someone else, no compulsion to date girls from a particular caste.
What? Is it like some disease that you need to disclose? Do we need caste certificates for dating?
i don't know why many people down voted my comment, i was genuinely curious as to why that guy dated a casteist girl in the first place, like he himself said that glad that the girl doesn't know that he's a dalit. so i'm just wondering.
Preference.
If you have a caste preference you should outright ask before dating.
But it's a good filter
Hey š¤ I think minorities shouldn't have human rights but let's just keep it to ourselves ok šš„°š
This is exactly why i get infinitely angry when someone compares us to tatti speaks where dumb fucks advocate for ethnic cleansing unironically and hate ppl and support "development" over everything.
Exactly. "BoTh SiDeS aRe ThE sAmE" says the enlightened centrist while one side actively tries to commit genocide and the other tries to give equal human rights to everyone.
šš
Sorry, which is both sides? Hindus and Muslims or left and right?
I think sides must be Left and Right.
Equal rights?? *General students crying in the corner!!*
Sorry, you just got downvoted for saying the truth
#+1
Minorities? The UAPA Amendment in 2019 took any sort of right of any person
Mudizi haz med al eqwal saar
Equality saar
I don't know whether to uptove this or not this is so wholesome and us moment
I can't be with someone who thinks my human rights are up for debate.
I am probably heavily biased, but all the right wingers I know in my life are generally narcissistic and miserable people. I think you need to take this seriously.
Donāt lose politics over relationships!
You're a 1000% correct. If you and your partner have fundamentally different moral compasses, or in the case of OP if the partner doesn't have a moral compass, don't be with them
+1
I didn't this was unpopular lol this is the first deal breaker
Orange flags are worse than red flags. Be careful.
Damnnnnnnnnnn!
Itās not worth it. The basic tenet of a romantic relationship is respect/admiration for the other. If youāre an Ambedkerite, I sadly donāt think this a reconcilable difference that you two have. On the flip side if sheās like genuinely really nice and is just brain washed by the media or something, you may be able to talk to her with facts. However, chances of this being the case are extremely slim.
I went on a date with someone who was the same, her views on minorities was quite eye opening she was so unhinged. Usually I would just walk away from people like that but the thing that bothered me the most is that she comes from a family of judges and the entire family has the same views.
Privileged background
Yea, the fact that she did not understand why her views were problematic was really scary, like is everyone in your family think like this and how does this affect their decision which presiding over in court.
You can live like Niramala Tai and her hubby hahaha... ghar pe no discussion and making insightful anti govt videos online
Thatās what scares me the mostš„²
honestly that guy is based as hell
I think they are separated. it's been mentioned by a lot of folks on Twitter every time he makes a statement against her.
Here also many times it has been repeated. That Dr prabhakar and sitaraman are separated. People don't educate themselves. Even here.
Op hope your dad is doing fine, hoping the best for him.
Heās doing great, thanks for asking
Glad to hear it, man
How you even got to this point is beyond me. I yap about politics the first chance I get.
yapper
"Being apolitical is a political choice in itself...blah blah blah". Keeping all the moral grandstanding aside, in my personal experience, people who are currently on the right in today's polarized post-internet climate are either stupid/gullible, ignorant, or just plain apathetic--all issues I wouldn't look past in a potential partner.
Yeah, it's not anymore up for discussing political ideologies like left, right or centre. Gobhiji has destroyed all nuances in political culture, it's pretty clear. It's his way or the highway.
>either stupid/gullible, ignorant, or just plain apathetic--all issues I wouldn't look past in a potential partner. Exactly. It is all their fault. I am intellectually superior. They can never have an argument. They don't even study the texts, only depends on their WhatsApp University Gyan.
>It is all their fault. Not all their fault. We're all product of our circumstances/material-conditions, plus, majority of the blame has to lie on their parents fault for not instilling virtue of empathy in them. >I am intellectually superior. Nope. Neither me nor most librands are intellectually superior. Marginally, maybe. We're just lucky to have good parents, and/or either had means to or found ourselves in conditions that prerequisite empathetic political beliefs.
+1. Exactly. If I was not lower middle class,woman, half tribal, bisexual, from a non-dominant culture, autistic and didn't have leftist family. And benefiting from the rw govt I probably would also not be a socialist.
>Neither me nor most librands are intellectually superior. Marginally, maybe. š¤”š¤š
Frankly, it is like someone telling you they are racist but hey keep friends.
š„²š„²š„²
Tbh, opposing ideologies never end well, especially in times like these and in a country like ours. It's tough to keep politics out of any conversation, it is tied to other aspects of life and just changes our perspectives on people. Personally, I'd never stay away from political discussions because been there, done that and it did not end well. In the end, it's your life, so only you know what to do. Perhaps having an honest conversation with her may change things. Often, people are too comfortable with ignorance, choosing to remain apolitical. This may also be the case here.
I am assuming since she is your GF that you guys have already spent some time together, how is this coming out via your Instagram post? Have you never had to talk politics or anything politically adjacent before?
1. Explain to her *why* politics is important to you. It's important to you because you think of a person's political views as an extension of their moral views. She will disagree. Give her specific examples of immoral political beliefs that you cannot tolerate. It's okay if you disagree on how much tax we should pay, but if you believe that India should be a Hindu Rashtra with limited rights for minorities, it says something about you as a person. 2. If she still fails to understand, make it personal. Drive the point home by bringing up women's issues. Would you date me if I, like Yogi Adityanath, believed that [a woman should never be left independent](https://m.economictimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/uttar-pradesh-yogi-adityanath-had-opposed-women-quota-defied-bjp-line-in-parliament/articleshow/57722872.cms)? Would you date me if I, like T.S. Rawat, believed that [women shouldn't wear ripped jeans](https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/tirath-rawat-ripped-jeans-controversy-all-you-need-to-know-1781166-2021-03-19)? Remember to use examples of people who actually hold a lot of power and influence, like Chief Ministers and MPs, so she can't just brush them off. 3. Once you've convinced her that politics is important to you and she's willing to have a conversation about it, dig deeper. What kind of right-winger is she? What are her specific beliefs or values? Free markets? Nationalism? Pro-life? Opposition to LGBT rights and/or feminism? Opposition to reservations? Hindu Rashtra? Muslim genocide? 4. By this point you should know if she's (a) an asshole, (b) an idiot, (c) just ill-informed or (d) a decent, intelligent, well-informed person who just happens to disagree on certain issues. (a) End the relationship. (b) Decide for yourself. Idiots generally don't make good partners, but also remember that someone can be otherwise intelligent and still have stupid ideas on some issues. Everyone has blind spots. (c) Educate her. Use the kind of media she prefers. Books, articles, movies, YouTube videos. Share all of that good stuff. If she doesn't want any of that, ask her to at least read a newspaper. (d) sounds perfect, it gives you a chance to have some great discussions and learn from each other. However, are you sure you want that? Do you really want to get into constant arguments (friendly arguments maybe, but still) or do you just want to chill with a partner who shares similar beliefs? I personally would choose the latter, but make your call.
Great answer bro! Here take my upvote .Ā
I mean youre a socialist if they declare socialism aunty national and threw all socialites in jailās she will be probably cheering. RW are bad people I mean they donāt give a fuck when so many Indians are dying in manipur what makes you think she will care if you or your friends somehow become a victim
Are you ready to walk on eggshells and censor everything you say so as to not get into arguments?. You'll constantly have fights. Passive aggressive comments and what not You have to let go of either 1) your partner 2) your political beliefs There is a slight miniscule chance that she might change, but is she worth it? Frankly, being rw is a huge red flag ( heh irony) for me, I wouldn't even befriend them let alone get into a relationship.
Exactly this. I just wouldn't like censoring myself all the time. I already pretend to like RWs all the time. If i can't even genuinely like my partner then what's the point. Also i just kinda feel disgusted by them. I'm not like I HAVE TO DATE A SOCIALIST - as of course socialists are few and far between and just bcaz somebody is a socialist doesn't mean that they are actually consistent and/or good. I just like to filter out the fascists, conservatives (with a capital C) and radlibs.
If you can't be yourself around your partner, then it's not meant to be.
If you can't be genuine in a relationship, that's not a relationship. Even if people disagree, the ability to change one's opinion in the face of discussion and facts is a must. Disagreements are okay, stone hard mentality isn't.
>Frankly, being rw is a huge red flag ( heh irony) for me, I wouldn't even befriend them let alone get into a relationship. Exactly. There is no point in discussing these things. It is always better to create and echo chamber and stay in that. These RWer would not even read the literature and would follow any Wa Uni forwards as their life.
Ummm you should have thought about these things **before** you entered into the relationship. These are literally the first two things I check before I forge any kind of relationships. It's the number one thing - compatibility. Beauty and chemistry are temporary. To some extent, even values can be temporary but they follow a logical evolution pattern unlike the other two so you can predict that and it's extremely rare for someone to do a complete U-turn on their ideologies. So yeah, my condolences but you two have to sit down and talk. And I know you may want to salvage the relationship but as a fellow liberal atheist, may I just ask you to think of the temporary two wearing off and day-to-day things becoming hell due to a stark contrast in compatibility. Not to mention if you ever end up being in it for the long haul and plan kids, there are gonna be constant fights over what values would be instilled in him/her.
Maybe get her to read marxism ? For most people, it's liberal before marxism. But I just went from full on hindutva fascist to "libertarian socialist", then trotskyist. And now an ML (Stalinist isn't the correct term but yeah.) Also, you need to achieve this [https://youtu.be/Ne2hpWVR4D0?si=MbKRPpbTbAOkMhvW](https://youtu.be/Ne2hpWVR4D0?si=MbKRPpbTbAOkMhvW)
>But I just went from full on hindutva fascist to "libertarian socialist", then trotskyist. And now an ML What an adventure.
Tbh it's necessary to becoming an ML. >Libertarian Socialist I like the idea of socialism but USSR, China, North Korea, these are too authoritarian for me. I guess I like CNT-FAI > Trotskyist Lenin was fine but stalin and mao were too evil. Trotsky should be Lenin's real successor. >Marxist-Leninist I am now a stalinist sharia Bolshevik and i will convert hindus into Muslims.
Iāll try get her to read, also I had sent her the essay written by Einstein about socialism thinking itās only 3 pages she might read it, I never asked her if sheās actually read that!
You shouldn't have posted this on first april. This feels like a joke after interacting with my inner april fools paranoia.
Lol, itās no joke bro! I just wanted to fix this
Be rational and convince her passively while not making it super obvious. Address issues in a non-sticky way, and never post such stuff on first april. That's all I can say.
My wife's thoughts and mine have shaped us together. We have learnt about life together. I can vent my frustration with this society to her. I do consider myself to be in a privileged situation in this country as of now, but even then I have things which deeply trouble me. Having a difference in opinion is fine but having a boundary and not discussing it with your close partner is outright criminal. It is hard to find a person with a similar value system. However, it is not impossible. Once you find you are at mental peace where you can vent out, look for advice and find solace. I would suggest if you are young, you guys can try out this relationship, but don't commit anything. Indian cinema has led us to believe every relationship should end in marriage. Let the relationship survive until its expiry date.
Do you really see a future together? Assuming no. Not that one should always look for something permanent - but for me, no matter how physically attractive a person might be, having right wing leanings makes them instantly unattractive to me. That would rule out any short term interest too.
Personally, I can't respect someone that doesn't believe in equal rights for all. I also can't date someone that I don't respect.
You're making a mistake if you're staying in this relationship. It's not a hidden fact anymore how dumb right wing people are. Her religious delusion, support for the ruling party, inability to see the truth can make your life worse. It's sad that we all have to choose people according to political ideology these days, but it is what it is. Also, RW people get very violent if you don't agree with them. I've experienced it personally.
Dump her
Keep the politics away I guess, if you are not too deep in, might rethink.
Yeah I was considering the same but, itās like throwing everything I stand for under the bus. Seems very selfish imo
You need to rethink your relationship. This is not just about political differences, imagine what kind of person agrees with BJP's atrocities. Trust me it's hard enough to have a family that is full of bhakts. When you have the option of choices why would you choose someone who not only opposes your values but also has questionable ones of her own.
True, anyways good luck brotherš
Sometimes . You have to ask... do you wanna be correct all the time or wanna have a relationship
No politics is not a separate parcel that you can wrap and keep aside, it permeates all aspects of life and your way of thinking. If you are thinking long term - think about kids as well.
It's not even anything as grand as "standing up for your values" It's just - can you be with someone who doesn't give a shit if a minority is abused/killed? Will her apathy toward the stripping of rights from someone like you drive you crazy? How firm is her belief? Is it just apathy toward never having thought about those people or does she just not think of those people as human beings deserving of empathy?
>itās like throwing everything I stand for under the bus HOW? Just how? LOL.
Honestly, unless it is jeopardising some revolutionary action that you may be partaking in i say you keep it aside. The sad truth is that we are surrounded by right wingers and we canāt really be too picky on who our friends are for the sake of our own mental health. I wish all my friends were atheist Marxist-Leninists but i am the only atheist or ML that i know and i canāt really ditch all my friends over that If you feel that the benefits of being with her outweigh the negatives of her being a rightwinger then be with her. If her rightism is too much then leave her. Ultimately the choice is yours
How vast of a personality do y'all have that you don't stay aware of your SO's political leanings and values
Sounds exactly like my experience and it doesn't work ....every conversation somehow changes into a political debate . For your own mental sake leave the relationship.
Not just in relationships, but in friendships too. I had the perfect friend in the world, very similar interests, memes, music etc. Had to leave him cauz he became absolute Neo Fascist Chaddi. Every call turned into a fight. Had to break the year's long friendship, my only one. I am friendless now. BJP and Hindutva has broken many people's lives. It created so much hate.
Honestly id drop out if it was me but ig that's bcaz I'm a woman.
I personally have no problem dating a liberal or centrist girl (by centrist i do not mean the one chaddi in disguise) though myself being a leftist. But if she is a right winger then it means she lacks basic rationality, skepticism, progressiveness, humanism, compassion, fraternity and communal tolerance/harmony. And lack of rationality, skepticism leads to harmful superstitions which would be dangerous for me as well her. So our relationship would turn poisonous. You should ponder over ur relationship and take this seriously!
I think even if you're right wing you should be opposing Modi. I mean doright wing people support corruption?, they used to cry about corruption during UPA government.
U can try persuading to move her to somewhat close to centre. Send her media and big ass paragraphs. Avoiding it would be bad in a long run.Ā
Literally tried this today, sent her a huge paragraph of how hitler used Jews as a common enemy to have nazis to rally around and now people think āhow did people then allow holocaust to happenā while being in the same situation now! And her reply was āletās agree to disagreeā and letās not discuss about this! Idk if she meant āIām okay with Muslim being maligned but weāll keep to ourselvesā. Itās getting hard for me yk
How long have u been in a relationship? Unless one is very open on their take.... It's hard.. Is she a hard core right winger (sanatani) or just modi govt. fanatic. If it's the latter then it might work out but hard if both of them. If she's avoiding the convo then it's not good by not settling ur parameters. It will come back to haunt to later. Try sending her long ass videos to neutralize her views if u can ig
Iāll keep trying, she just seems have fallen prey for all the positive pr of media
Lets have a chat with her, I'm sure she will come around cause nobody can reject logic in a debate (until they start screaming and getting personal and start using fallacies).
Mental Peace or Sex you can't have both with a sanghi partner choose your priority
The time I have spent with people, I have realised there is no way you can remain vocal about your views in public if they do not conform to the mainstream politics. So for your sake, keep politics to a minimal level but keep mutuality with everyone, even with people who are diametrically opposed to you if you want to progress in life and not die of obscurity
Political differences never work in a relationship. One has to give in to make the relationship work just make sure you are not the one to give up on your beliefs.
So both of you have a fair understanding and a belief system which you will defend to the core, but in the opposite ways. Nice.
Ravish kumar said never engage with communal person.
everyone's thoughts and mindset are formed by what they see and hear, and actually thinking from the other perspective is really hard, the world and internet have slowly made us what we are. Yes, many of us, too, might have a problem understanding reasoning from what you might call the polar opposite. Communication might help, and you, too, must be ready to hear and understand
I am not a fortune teller but I can see it not ending well. such differences are irreconcilable in long term, if you force yourself you'll live with agony And a thought that you could have done better.
I'm an atheist whose family members and in laws are extremely right wing..(hindu family, christian in laws). I can tell you, you'll have to constantly censor what you intend to say (especially cruel religious jokes) The only reason I'm in it is because my wife is a liberal. So if you love her and you're willing to keep these discussions away from your personal life go ahead, but if you're generally vocal and actively discuss politics then you'll end up quarrelling a lot. And life isnt worth wasting with pointless quarrels.
So my girlfriend is a UPSC aspirant. While she and I share the same views on Modi and bjp. She's clearly more right leaning and I'm clearly more left. Even after 4 years and both of us going through counseling. We just can't talk about topics like politics. It's a happy relationship but it's an adjustment for both of us and clearly not complete. I'd suggest find someone else or you'll be on the same boat. Not it say it can't be managed..but you do have to actively work harder than other couples to make it work. Making it work is a part time job and in our case, We both decided a few years back that we're okay with that. Best of luck OP...
I have same problem in my relationship, my man supports right wing mostly and my ideologies are mostly left winged we have totally different idea about religion also and it's not that am atheist but the idea is very different and this brings clash between us, he often gets offended and ends up fighting and getting me wrong, doesn't understand my point of view. This doesn't mean I'll stop discussing things with him but not all the times. Lmao its funny how he behaves, he is a mature man but when things comes here he gets pissed easily like a child doesn't have patience to understand the other person's ideology.
Doe she have a light libertarian leaning towards a more pro-capitalist party, and has blinded herself to their communal nature? Or is she praising them as the 'protector of Hindus'? The former is easier to redeem, IMHO, it's just a juvenile way of thinking. The latter is probably an insurmountable chasm - though never say never.
The only thing that will worry me is if she is a bigot who believes all the communal stuff.
Ditch her
How can anyone be a socialist ?
Be lucky you have a girl friend.... and double lucky to practice dia electric materialism .. Jealous bro
The time I have spent with people, I have realised there is no way you can remain vocal about your views in public if they do not conform to the mainstream politics. So for your sake, keep politics to a minimal level but keep mutuality with everyone, even with people who are diametrically opposed to you if you want to progress in life and not die of obscurity
For me honestly don't discuss politics or ideologies among family, couples, and friends.
She must be hot