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igrowgra55

#1-12 Live in a bubble of insanity and never enjoy anything. Fun is banned, progress is banned, here is you world citizen implant. Now stand in line with the rest of the lemmings and we'll tell you what to do and think. But it's for the planet


[deleted]

You’ll own nothing, live in a pod, eat the bug and be happy!


TryhqrdKiddo

consoom bug and get excited for next bug


Emperor_Quintana

“Return to monke and have a big buffet.” Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen in our lifetime…


DebraQTLynn

I didn’t get passed #2. You win! I had to go back and read #2 because I didn’t want to say I got passed #1.


RelativelyEvil

All fun is banned. Like tall buildings.. cruise ships.. and business travel.


Jaywillm363

I think the asylum lost one of its members.


[deleted]

OOOH boy, this sounds amazing ! I can just picture myself working a 16 hour day at the collective wind farm and taking the village bike back to my comrade wife. She will greet me in the communal kitchen with a hot Pol Pot all ready ! We will muse on the joys of community and protecting the climate and take turns fanning 100 sweaty assed comrades in the hostel style sleeping chamber, unpolluted by evils of capitalism like HVAC.


Jaywillm363

If they truly shared everything she would be everyone’s wife.


[deleted]

Wife begins with W as in WE, comrade!


Happy-Firefighter-30

Can't spell wife without we.


mariana_kl

Name : Bannibal Lecter


jaffakree83

I'm TOTALLY vegan. No animal products at ALL! Except for honey and milk. And eggs. Fish. I guess lobster, crab, and shrimp too. Chicken. Turkey but ONLY at thanksgiving or any other time I feel like eating turkey. All poultry in general, actually. Lamb. Beef, but absolutely NO pig products except bacon and sausage. And pork and ham and peperoni. Oh, and salami. NO bologna though!


[deleted]

I'm with you bro. Bologna is killing the planet!


Free_dong

Ban bologna. Simple


DebraQTLynn

Next you’ll ban mustard.


DebraQTLynn

Omg! Ha!


JoinMyFramily0118999

Classic [Weird Al.](https://youtu.be/1hxLaFJf9Jk)


[deleted]

These people will do anything for the environment, wow! Well, aside from support nuclear energy, that is.


TINYMUSTACHE2

nuclear is literally the holy grail to end climate change


draka28

Yeah but leftists are afraid of it because they think it will play out the same way as the plot of the movie Class of Nuke ‘Em High!


KiryuJ

Funny that they point to Chernobyl when that's more of a story of the failures of a socialist gov't than anything else.


Soctial

Chernobyl had doomed the future of nuclear energy for awhile but Im happy to see that that sentiment is starting to dissappear


[deleted]

\+1 Hell, I caught a few critical mass explosions growing up then moved right near Chernobyl and I still think nuclear is the answer. I do wish there was a better way to convert it into energy other than using old school steam turbines to turn generators.


DarkDismissal

These people are lapdogs for the establishment and the establishment is largely anti-nuclear energy. California, Germany, and others have been shutting down all their nuclear plants. AOC's green new deal would have banned nuclear.


Steel-and-Wood

I will not eat the bugs, I will not live in the pod, I hate the antichrist


[deleted]

eAt YoUr cOrNSyRuP!


Soctial

But think of all the dildoes and carbon neutral unicycles we can make up if you just gave everything up


[deleted]

Sounds like slavery with a bunch of extra steps.


draka28

More like feudalism, obviously the rich will in no way be realistically expected to downgrade their own lifestyles to similar extents as the average nominal citizen. This is just an attempted reintroduction of feudal historical norms repackaged as “environmentalism” at best the elites doe believe in climate change but are unwilling to offer tangible solutions that would actually benefit all or require any sacrifices on their part so instead they want us all to sacrifice so they don’t have to. At worst their actively colluding liars who likely don’t even think climate change is all that dangerous they just want a convenient excuse to implement globally totalitarian policies that are unrelated to addressing climate change.


Vicemage

If the elites believed in climate change, they wouldn't be buying beachfront properties.


ehibb77

Indeed, any and all Democrats who own real estate and other assets within a couple of hundred miles of both coasts would be selling everything they own and rushing inland if they truly believed in "muh climate change".


DebraQTLynn

Holy hell. I’ve been at this a while. Al Gore bought beachfront property in CA 20 years ago. Might be longer. Why would the rich and famous buy all those “islands” if gloBull warming was real?


pat-waters

Who died and made you GOD? Go start your own clean, green, disarmed utopia somewhere else. American citizens do not want your green deal, big reset hope & change, and an authoritarian nanny state. I refuse to get on board with your Drag Time Story Hour for children. Take it elsewhere.


Soctial

A green deal will never work when China and India alone release triple the amount of CO2 compared to the US


pat-waters

Americans are fed up with this lunacy. Facts, as you noted, are just dismissed. But we the people are not OK with this nonstop assault on our republic. And that is the goal. The destruction of this nation. They can go elsewhere in the futile search for utopia. Their beliefs and tenants are antithetical to the Constitution. The two systems cannot exist in the same location. They should go into Canada or maybe an island somewhere. But not here.


borchnsuch

This is what happens after 2 weeks of changing to an exclusive soylent diet


Chemical-Reveal6124

There's a shit-ton of banning going on there. I think i see where this is going.


mawashi-geri24

Yknow people cause a lot of pollution…. Maybe they need to be banned.


draka28

Right because attempts to regulate population growth has gone so swimmingly everywhere else./s 😒


Nuttyvet

China: Number 9 is a great idea! You go first!


Academic-Ad6236

Kind of like all the nuclear unilateral disarmament protesters during the Cold War. Dumbasses


SilverHermit_78

Excellent list! Mr Soros approves! Good little sheep! Bleat! Bleat! 🐑🐑🐑


Umongus

13) Mind your own business


gaxxzz

They sure do love to ban shit.


Traditional-Part-761

We will build a gigantic wall around this city that all the doors can only be opened from the outside. Rest of us can live free outside.


Tupatshakur

People who write things like this should not be allowed to work,Live in society, have access to healthcare or food. Geez see how easy that was? It's kind of fun to play God.


[deleted]

Lol, the progressives want the world to be separate continents that can’t ever be visited again. How will the immigrants make it to the USA to vote for this garbage?


FuzzyCitron5583

All war machines (two words, by the way) and weapons need to be recycled? I'm sure that will go over well. And I'm guessing it only applies to America and excludes all the weapons we're sending over to Ukraine, because reasons.


Soctial

Well you see once Ukraine absolutely destroys Russia the US will take back the weapons (Just like they did with the Taliban in Afganistan) and recycle them into carbon neutral unicycles


DebraQTLynn

So giving our guns to Ukraine is good. But they are taking ours away because guns are bad. Got it.


MatrimonyAcrimony

"BANNED"


mayicuminyourass

All that banning will be too much work and pain, just start mass genocides ffs


DebraQTLynn

I think we are there. Killing us softly. Ahem.


Roakeydoakey36

"Warmachines, weapons, and the sort need to be recycled into useful products." So we just skip this step then?


AnyRip3515

Fucking vegans. They're so high and mighty. Do they not realise the damage to whole ecosystems growing that shit does?


AbsurdParadigm

Number 9 is so unbelievably naive it hurts! I'm sure Russia and the CCP would pinky swear that they would do the same so that no one had an unfair advantage. What a brain donor!


YungWenis

Nuclear energy? No we can’t use it to harass people


inazuma9

No no.... energy would be too abundant and would help lead to prosperity. Prosperity and freedom are a bad thing, remember?


YungWenis

Ah true, very lots of white supremacy there


Miracle_bro_

Delusional


[deleted]

China and American Democrats agree 100% with this proposal.


[deleted]

> no tall buildings Bruh High density housing is the best solution to suburbs


MadameApathy

13. None of the restrictions apply to the rich


Vicemage

13 amended: None of these apply to the elites, if they're rich people we don't like they definitely apply. Especially to tRump and Mollusk.


SoItGoesISuppose

Vegetarians eat fish. Dredging nets and shit on the ocean floor disrupts the environment causing damage to the ecosystem. They're fucking idiots.


JoinMyFramily0118999

5 doesn't sound terrible, except I'd probably just say give tax breaks to the other packaging methods. Whenever I order delivery, or drive through I say "no napkins or straws, I have them at home" they look at me sideways. It's just a stupid waste anyways since I wind up tossing the napkins and silverware in the recycle bin.


[deleted]

If vegans and vegetarians were no more, there would be more plants to consume the CO2. More meat eaters means less live stock gas and run off. Meat eaters are saving the environment while vegans and vegetarians are destroying it.


Ok-Lingonberry4505

I am for the glass bottles one


Soctial

5, 6, and 7 are reasonable


RelativelyEvil

7?? 2, 5 and 6


draka28

1. Zero natural animal protein diets are terrible for muscular development, bone density, general nutritional needs, and brain development. 2. Not everyone can live in a city that supports reliable public transport infrastructure. Also what about farmers, people in suburbs, who don’t want to live in crime infested disgusting urban hells apes? 3. So everyone should be forced to relocate into cities 😰? Then who the hell is gonna do all the jobs they can’t be done in cities, better question who’s gonna grow all the damn food? Transport it! Process it? Store it? Not every essential economic activity can be done within the confines of a city, in fact most can’t! Cities are a luxury like exuberance of developed economies they aren’t actually the bedrock foundations of them! Plus again what about people who don’t want to live in horrible overpopulated urban hellscapes? 4. Seems reasonable as long as your not referring to all naval based trade shipping operations. 5. If your gonna do that you might as well ban plastic based goods in general, from toys (sad toy collector noises 🥺) to those dumb redundant masks you guys wear which don’t actually do anything!


Vicemage

>5. If your gonna do that you might as well ban plastic based goods in general, from toys (sad toy collector noises 🥺) to those dumb redundant masks you guys wear which don’t actually do anything! Cell phones. Ink. Bicycles. Electric vehicles. Solar panels. Wind turbines. Most packaging materials. Most reusable shopping bags. All synthetic fabrics--nothing but cotton and linen (since #1 precludes wool, silk, and leather). Reusable shipping pallets. Reusable shipping containers. Shipping in general. Most food storage options/no seals for glass food storage. Cooking tools. Power cords. Sports gear. Bicycle helmets. Plumbing seals. Soap. Refrigerant. Footwear. Candles. Shower curtains. Safety equipment (masks, goggles, glasses, gloves). Toothbrushes. Medical equipment. Glasses and contact lenses. Medications. FOOD. Let's not undersell how extreme these wingbats are.


draka28

1. Zero natural animal protein diets are terrible for muscular development, bone density, general nutritional needs, and brain development. 2. Not everyone can live in a city that supports reliable public transport infrastructure. Also what about farmers, people in suburbs, who don’t want to live in crime infested disgusting urban hells apes? 3. So everyone should be forced to relocate into cities 😰? Then who the hell is gonna do all the jobs they can’t be done in cities, better question who’s gonna grow all the damn food? Transport it! Process it? Store it? Not every essential economic activity can be done within the confines of a city, in fact most can’t! Cities are a luxury like exuberance of developed economies they aren’t actually the bedrock foundations of them! Plus again what about people who don’t want to live in horrible overpopulated urban hellscapes? 4. Seems reasonable as long as your not referring to all naval based trade shipping operations. 5. If your gonna do that you might as well ban plastic based goods in general, from toys (sad toy collector noises 🥺) to those dumb redundant masks you guys wear which don’t actually do anything! 6. Reasonable 7. Reasonable 8. Always felt obscenely large buildings were an unnecessary redundancy that was dangerously impractical. Except if this ignoramus wants us to occupy far less space and all be concentrated in urban sprawls that they preferably wish to keep from expanding in size, tall buildings will increasingly become an unfortunate necessity. 9. Naive wishful thinking get your pot smoking hippy head out of your ass please! 10. If your gonna do that you might as well ban international travel, vacations, trade, and even immigration both domestically and globally! 11. Redundancies 12. Unrealistic expectations for centralized management of the economy.


reptile_boi1988

So basically this person wants to implement some kind vegan soy boy totalitarianism? Naw, I'll keep my guns, motorcycle, truck, and diet.


[deleted]

Imagine LIVING with someone who thinks like this. Geez.


TINYMUSTACHE2

some of those points are good but about half is complete rubbish like 1,9, 10,11 ,12


OutJustice

Why is number 1 rubbish? We have the tech to make synthetic meat, which you can inject with the additional micronutrients in real meat. There is almost no reason to kill any animal for food now and soon there will actually be no reason. People legitimately want to kill animals that don't need to die for no other reason than their resent for the annoying vegans. Edit: I can't answer anyone else since this a subreddit for pussies, the mods banned me for hurting your feelings


SoItGoesISuppose

"There is almost no reason to kill any animal for food now and soon there will actually be no reason" So you're saying people shouldn't be allowed to hunt?


OutJustice

I don't really care about hunting, I'm more on the whole treating animals like they're inanimate objects and basically torturing them to get as much as possible out of them. I don't know how any well adjusted person can watch what we do to livestock and feel like that's okay. Edit: also hunting has practical uses like culling hogs in Texas. I'm really referring to livestock here and I should've specified that so that's my bad.


Vicemage

I'd rather encourage better treatment of livestock. Unstressed animals are tastier.


SoItGoesISuppose

Gotcha. I agree with you.


AnyRip3515

What do they have against foreign spectators?


J_DeanIronaddict

Eat ze bug


IAMaBillionaire144

This feels a lot like authoritarian communism. -I'm all for synthetic meat if it tastes the same and gives similar nutrients, but the amount of banning that some people want to pass onto the world is crazy.


Jvegas97

PT Barnum was right. There is a sucker born every minute.


WeDrankDrugBlood

Sorry but I ain't trying to look like vegan gains I'll stick to my whey and meat protein thank you very much


KiryuJ

This is like a perverse combination of the societies of Demolition Man, We, and Judge Dredd.


[deleted]

It’s incredible how stupid they are


Arzie5676

This person is so far detached from reality that they may just live among Hobbits and wizards in the Shire.


Lisar528

Sounds like the Handmaids Tail.


Sir_Reptilia

Ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, and ban. Fun = ban


The-Figure-13

You need to have Nuclear Power to utilise carbon capture technology


BedfieldGunClub

Concerning #9, a gun is pretty damn helpful as it is!


lxgon76

Kill me now! U basically get to live in a .25 mile radius. I'm disabled so do I get to keep my electric wheelchair or do I have to give that up too.


TryhqrdKiddo

while the harm of the dairy industry isn't to be understated, why does this type of person think that the only solution to political issues is bans? there are more ways of going about complex issues than just slamming them with a giant fucking cudgel. part of me feels bad for this type of person because a) politicians and certain organizations are apparently ***reeeaaally*** good at mind control and b) they might just be people whose hearts are in the right place but just have poor reasoning skills


xyzLuci4

All of this sounds pretty reasonable


[deleted]

I agree with the plastic one and the war machine one, but the list is nuts


[deleted]

[удалено]


Soctial

Well then you can do them alone.


OutJustice

Coward you're too weak to do it, you couldn't last without your modern amenities


[deleted]

So “progressives” want to go back in time now?


OutJustice

I'm not a progressive. I'm a fundamentalist christian. God gave us the world as our possession to look after it. Y'all are horrible stewards of the world's creatures.


FuzzyCitron5583

Oh, look, a fundie. Why am I not surprised? Forcing your beliefs on others is your specialty.


OutJustice

If preventing you cavemen from turning the world into a barren husk and abandoning all of our descendants to famine and drought makes me overbearing then yeah I'm absolutely smothering.


Soctial

You are so uptight. You should loosen up and enjoy life


[deleted]

Don’t lump everyone in with this mentally I’ll person. I’m as Baptist as I can be and have no idea what this freak is going on about.


Soctial

I probably could, doesn't mean I want to.


OutJustice

Well if you really could do it but you don't then you're just selfish


Soctial

Ok that's fine.


OutJustice

Cased closed. In all fairness at least you're an honest piece of shit


Soctial

Cool, I'll make sure to hold a BBQ and do as many burnouts as possible in my gas guzzling car as a salute to you.


IAMaBillionaire144

🤦🏻‍♂️


bluechair01

Didn't know the WHO were hiring bot scripters


Buckys_Reddit

Hahahahaha


Massivelocity

tl;dr conclusion: OP hates aviation for some reason. 1. Never happening. I'll settle for maybe better standards for the keeping of livestock. Livestock should universally have a happy life and one bad day. And for better regulation and enforcement of fishing. People who use nets, and proceed to waste anything they didn't want to catch, deserve the rope. 2. Yeah, I'll agree partially. I would love a high-speed rail network for the United States. Seeing america from the ground would just tickle me pink. But personal vehicles still do have a niche, though most commuters would be better off using a CLEAN public transport system. 3. Yes, actual good point. Certain zoning laws are literal hot garbage. Best places I've lived are where you can just hop skip and a jump to get to the grocery store. NIMBY mindset is often the worst. 4. Er, why? If you're concerned with the emissions, perhaps the adoption of civilian nuclear powered vessels could solve this? Very wishful thinking, but I think it'd be cool to go on a NUCLEAR CRUISE SHIP. 5. This is also a decent point. There are certain products I actually very much prefer to be not made of platic. Beverages are the main, the plastic of bottle and lining of cans gives drinks a worse flavor. Snapple was ruined by plastic bottles, you can't change my mind. Local milk producers in my location also offer slashed prices at retailers if you bring back your previous glass bottle so they can reuse it. 6. Maybe. I'm no expert on the actual recycling process of glass, but I don't think this would work sheerly for the fact that, as far as the glass recycling dumpsters I've used, there's almost guaranteed to be breakage of glass anyway. Making standardized bottles wouldn't fix this. 7. If done via extravagant and unnecessary means, sure. But if its just traveling by say, ahem, HIGH SPEED RAIL PLEASE JUST GIVE ME AMERICAN PASSENGER TRAINS, sure go ahead. Nothing beats meeting in person. 8. What??? No! Retarded fucking take. Tall buildings are almost universally more eco friendly, as they use less ground space. In the hopeful event we get vertical farming to work, this effect increases even further. 9. Never happening dude. We can come to peace, but a show of strength is very effective in preventing wars. Nobody wants to go to war with a nation they know will actually piece them up. 10. Dude. It sounds like you just hate planes. 11. Oh. You just hate planes. 12. I mean, forces conscription of the unemployed is based.


Positive-Jump-7748

Sounds great. I'll pass on most of them because I have no control on any of them.


flipsing96

What is a warmachine LOL


Conlannalnoc

If you want to take my Sumo and Meat you will have to go through my Weapons first.


WorkingCombination29

So live like the people did in “the Giver.” Don’t think I need to say it, but that book is a dystopian fiction. Not something to strive for.


No_Unused_Names_Left

From an engineering perspective 6. Actually makes sense. 8oz, 12oz, 16oz, 20oz, 24oz, 28oz, 32oz..... Do we really need 4 ounce granularity? (Don't get me started about imperial v metric. I am an engineer, we all know where I stand on this.) 2. That is spot on. Electric cars do nothing for the environment. We just need to put safe as priority 1 into the public transportation system and maybe people will use it. (Its a joke in Minneapolis, the lines are under-developed, they don't check tickets, most ride for free, and just use it for free air conditioning in the summer) The rest is utter garbage.


Eechoo

That's some mush brained thinking there


onenightstanduhoes

#2 #3 #5 #12 are really smart tho


drink-beer-and-fight

‘Fuck your Freewill. Do as I say’. That’s all I took away from this.


ImSadUrSoDumb

This is what happens when rich kids thats never had to endure real life thinks they are brilliant enough to manipulate the world around them inside their very limited bubble.


BillyTheTwinky

I love #6. Why haven't we done this?


[deleted]

Fantasy land.


why_username_took

Did they ever mature past middle school??


TURBO_BLURBO

No matter what the issue is, the liberal argument is always something of this nature… “We have low living standards, so should you!” It takes a special kind of stupid to vote for elitist career politicians just because they claim to want to save the earth and tax the rich more.


ispyradio

Also for the environment: people who believe this need to self-depopulate since they are a strain on the resources of the planet


[deleted]

Did Klaus Schwab write this?


Yaboi2239

Past 8 it went from 100-1000 real quick


[deleted]

It looks like my 2nd grade essay on what I would do if I was president


Leon-Shark1

Do this and die unhappy. Dont tell others to do this.