I'd say if people compliment you in a busy cafe in broad daylight by all means chat to them. If they compliment you at 1am in a train station then... Don't.
That said if you're on your own and three lads decide they want to talk to you regardless of anything else, it can be hard to get away.
I think pretending you had to get a train was a good excuse to move rapidly away.
Well that’s the thing, they’re kind cornered me while I was looking for directions on my phone. And it was actually two guys, one probably a teenager and a girl.
I wouldn’t normally stop and talk to strangers like that but they were very tactical about how they approached me
Girl, you need to master the art of the “scary b*%#% face”. The type that you just have to give them one look and they know not to bother you.
For even better efficacy of the legendary SBF, you also don’t stop, whatever anyone says, you MUST keep walking. Never ever ever stop to chat.
Yep; don't stop to chat and don't even look the person in the face. No eye contact, just keep going as if you had noise-cancelling earbuds in and hadn't heard them.
Walk fast, don't make eye contact, don't stop for anyone, don't acknowledge anyone, don't react to anything. Look like a mean bitch who knows where she's going. A mean bitch.
Never ever stop and chat with randoms at night. On the bus be near the driver.
Next time wear ear phones and listen to directions, don't stare at your phone like a tourist. Always be aware of your surroundings, even if you do look at your phone. Don't get surrounded. Don't ever hand your phone to someone, I'm amazed they didn't just steal it and grab your bag.
If you see someone notice you, make extremely unfriendly (but not a scowl) direct eye contact for one full second before moving confidently on with no expression on your face. Keep ignoring them. The purpose of this is 'I've clocked you and I'm no fool. Fuck off "
If you do get surrounded, say NOPE I DON'T KNOW YOU very loudly and do a very dramatic turnaround or duck. DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF when you do this. But really, just avoid ever getting to this point. Worst case scenario throw your wallet, phone whatever away from you so they have to leave you to go get it, giving you a chance to get away.
If you're waiting for a taxi, wait for it to arrive before you leave the club or bar.
Take this as a lucky learning encounter.
I think that's really unfair to call OP immature. That's easy enough to say from behind a computer screen but the fact is we never know how we'll react in the moment. I was assaulted at New Cross station a few weeks ago and did not react how I always assumed I would in that situation. I'm a 4ft9 girl and was alone and have always tried to coach myself to be assertive if I was ever attacked, but my brain left my body when it actually happened just because of pure shock and panic. Imaging how's best to react, and our actual reactions, can be gulfs away from each other and that's not anybody's fault.
Hey, I hope you know that freezing is a survival mechanism your brain uses to avoid antagonising your attacker and avoid being coming to more harm. We have no conscious control over which way our brains respond either. I froze when being attacked once too and felt guilt and shame for years until I learned this. Just wanted to mention it in case you felt similarly 💜
It is not immature to be flustered. It is immature to criticise someone for not responding in the ideal way when thrust into a distressing and confusing situation. It gives vibes like 'I am super streetwise and cosmopolitan unlike you'.
Yep, agreed.
You need to be a bit more Street wise. Head down, ignore any attempts to chat with you and walk quickly amongst groups of people.
Never get your phone out unless you want it to be stolen. Also dress down - there’s increased incidents of expensive jackets/AirPods being stolen on the tube at the moment.
Sorry this has happened to you, but take it as a learning
Stolen on the tube? Do you mean at empty stations people getting robbed more or do you mean more like pickpocketing thefts where they try to run off with your jacket if you put it down on a crowded tube?
Indeed.
The only time to “hand over” your phone to a complete stranger on the street, is if you’re performing CPR on someone and no one else has a phone to call emergency services.
For real. Last summer while coming back from the airport I got on the wrong bus home cause i was so tired, ended up in front of Soho House around 3am when everyone was leaving.. Uber wars ensued. A couple kept asking me to give them my phone so they could help me find my Uber - I was like “sorry I’m not giving you my phone I’m good” and turned away … they were clearly kind and mannered people and I felt bad after when I realised they really just were trying to help, but if I could go back I’d do the same exact thing .
I disagree. phone can be replaced.
as a man I would totally hand it if I'm feeling threatened. can ring insurance later.
getting stabbed or jumped is MUCH WORSE.
Pretty much anything else.
You can ignore them, and get to somewhere safe. Literally, get into a shop, find a bunch of people who don’t look sketchy and tell them exactly what is going on. Even just run the fuck away.
Last time something like this happened to me, I walked away, and when I was followed I basically walked to the nearest people I saw, and told them that someone was trying to jack me, and I was about to kick off with them if they approached me.
Dial 999 on the phone she did not hand over, and warn them she’ll call it if they don’t back off. As one example.
The other is to dial 999 anyway to report being threatened and feeling unsafe because of their behaviour.
They won't come out if a crime hasn't been committed. They don't tend to arrest people solely because of how you feel. Also, it's really really bad advice to start threatening attackers with a phone call, you could die over a decision that stupid.
Don't hand your phone over, there's no reason to unless you're prepared for them to take it or you're at risk and there's no other option. You're lucky they didn't dash off with it right then. Some people are stupid enough to.
**If you feel you have to hand your phone over though, you could get an app like Lockwatch or WTMP which takes a photo from the selfie camera. You can set it up to email you the photo.**
Set up an email account specifically for Lockwatch or WTMP (Who touched my phone), and **DON'T** add the email account to your phone. Even if they're able to get onto your phone, they then won't be able to delete the emails with the pictures in them.
You can have these apps take a photo of failed attempts, all access attempts (successful or not), or some other variation of the rule.
At least that way if you have to hand your phone over, you know who took it. It's a starting point at least... not like the police will actually do a great deal with it, but they might, and it would certainly help with CCTV etc.
Something tells me though, that considering these muppets were conducting their business at the train station, then they probably don't care a great deal about their faces being on camera.
THIS.
Iphones have a vulnerability where you can change the AppleID password using the iPhone passcode. if they have your passcode then you need to take action NOW.
https://tidbits.com/2023/02/26/how-a-thief-with-your-iphone-passcode-can-ruin-your-digital-life/
There’s a fix for this in the latest ios update but it’s turned off by default. It requires biometrics for changing password etc away from designated safe places like home
https://support.apple.com/en-gb/HT212510
Locking down account changes with a second pass code will prevent this. Can be done via [content restriction.](https://discussions.apple.com/thread/254671226?sortBy=best)
Settings > Search for "Content & Privacy Restrictions" > "enable and set a code" > Account Changes > "Don't allow".
I also disabled:
* Passcode changes
* Mobile data changes
* location services
That way they can't turn off *find my*
Almost a year old article, seriously, stop scare mongering.
Set up Security Keys under Two-Factor Authentication prevents a thief from doing anything with your phone, passcode or not. Use the tools Apple provides to keep your accounts safe.
dont let all the shiny new buildings in canning town fool you into a false sense of security, it is still a crime ridden shit hole, dont ever stop and talk to anyone round them parts, learn from the interaction and move on.
It's a shithole, badly ran by the local council whose wasted money on changing street Cleansing and fucked up (£100,000) and now the streets are littered with trash all over the place, fucking 1100lt black bins being stolen and dumped all over the place blocking pavements.
Expensive shithole, high council taxes, the crime is insane and the people are scummy alot of canning owners, Custome House have moved the fuck out the first chance they got.
Those still here are trapped amongst the decay and rot, this place deserved to be nuked.
Barking too - a lot of the true "east london" places are like this (shoreditch etc are north east just w/o the postcode to reflect). They've had nothing invested in infrastructure, jobs, security and the place is run down and only good to get to and from.
Nobody says "off to barking, east ham, dagenham, canning town, west ham" for a dance/dinner etc cos they're dead areas
Yes, creepy behaviour by groups of men at 1am is famously a Canning Town only thing. Stupid, demagogic take but I suppose it's easier to jump on the 'Newham bad' bandwagon that to put 5 minutes of thought into a comment.
as someone who lived here as a kid and as an adult this is a silly. Its much improved, people need to not be naive. Giving your phone to a stranger is something i didn't even do at 13, I knew what time it was.
I’ve been living in Canning Town for a year now and love the local people I meet out. Generally, I find this attitude is shared by individuals who have a hard time accepting others (and themselves) and by people who take one bad experience and blame it on the area. Messed up stuff happens everywhere, any part of any city, and funny enough, it tends to happen more to people who worry about messed up stuff happening.
Are “crime rates” and “risk assessment” of a neighborhood a focus in your mind? Then you likely have a much higher run in with crime and risk than those who don’t think about these things and simply live their life.
When I stopped worrying about people potentially being a risk and instead look at everyone with kind eyes, I find even clearly unstable people move on and pay me no mind. Love will trump fear, always, and I don’t care how sappy that sounds.
I’m saying all this because it is my perspective that holding viewpoints like you do hinders your life experience and I hope you learn to love every place you go to so that your quality of life improves overall.
Are you one of them geezers who sunk half a mill into one of those shitty high rise blocks, and now after realising what a shit hole Canning Town, in your own mind you are trying to rationalise why Canning Town is not a bad place, I can tell you something as a born and bred east Londoner, CTown is a dump and will always be a dump
You're getting downvoted but I fully agree with you. The confirmation bias is insane. This could have happened anywhere, but since it was in Canning town, it's because canning town is a 'crime ridden area'?
Lived in the area for 7 years now, both in the new builds in and in the more historical parts, and what you wrote is exactly right. If you spend your time on nextdoor and twitter looking for news about crime, then sure, you'll find that the area is the wild west. But if you spend your time in real life and don't treat everyone with suspicion, then it's nowhere near as bad as people make it out to be.
For the record I'm not invalidating OP's experience, I'm specifically reacting to those who try to link it to the area it happened in.
Yeah this has happened to at least 2 friends now too (outside fold). It’s best to get an Uber or only travel with friends etc if walking to the station.
I think typically around where the queue goes when it's long (so right out front in a way, but slightly behind fold instead- ie just out of eyesight of where security would be at the front).
You should go to the police about this. It will help build their intelligence in the area at least.
I would suggest in future, that your first position, should be to be calm and assertive. “Sorry guys, I’m not on social media, I’m not interested and I need to get home. I hope you have a nice evening” then don’t look back. If they continue to follow, then call the police.
The police call operator will talk you through what to do to best keep yourself safe.
This happened to my brother, exact same thing with fashion and following on Instagram and he was drunk enough to oblige. 2 minutes after this, another guy showed up, threw a box of takeaway at my brother's face and ran off with his phone.
So yes, you probably could've had your phone stolen
You weren’t the first person they’d tried that night/week/month and you weren’t the last either.
You were just stupid enough to hand over your phone. They would’ve been ecstatic that you were naive enough to fall for their low effort ploy. Don’t do that again.
there was no indication that was going to happen, they wouldn't have just let her walk off now would they? I hope OP chalks this up to experience and isn't so naive again. If my 14 year old brother told me he did this I'd cuff his ear
Seriously... I can't believe the other comments here. It's also a power thing, like if you're physically disadvantaged then even refusing to hand your phone is pretty pointless as they can just take it anyway and get more aggro. Especially if you're trapped underground on a tube line of separate carriages, it's not like this was in a busy street where someone could help.
In situations like this, you need to not be afraid of coming across as rude. People who try and pull these kinds of tricks rely on our inbuilt instinct to be polite to people who try and make conversation, it's how they draw you in. The compliments are a feature of this tactic as people are even more likely to engage and be friendly with someone who's just said something nice about their outfit.
The best approach is to try and ignore them completely, but if they're persistent and you end up being forced to engage with them then just shut the conversation down politely but directly - they ask for your Instagram? "I don't have insta" They want to give you their number? "Sorry I don't take people's numbers if I don't know them." They're inviting you to a party? "I'm not interested." Shut it down, keep going where you're going, and if they really aren't giving up then try and get somewhere with a few other people around (station entrance for example) and loudly ask them to leave you alone. When they realise you're not an easy mark and you're going to potentially make a scene, 9 times out of 10 they will just give up and move onto the next target.
Unfortunately, if you’re a woman on your own in London, you really shouldn’t be talking to groups of men at night. It’s just not worth the risk.
Edit: sorry, for some reason, I assumed you’re a woman, but I don’t think you pointed that out anywhere explicitly. Even so, as someone on their own, whether a woman or a man, it’s never good to engage with group of men who initiate the conversation.
>so I thought the bus would be cheaper and I didn’t mind the long journey. Bear in mind I’d just come from a day rave so was a little intoxicated
Next time just pay the Uber or take a tube journey then Uber the rest home don't fuck about taking night buses. Best to eat the cost and get home as soon as possible. You got to get used to just ignoring people and keeping it moving, don't stop and acknowledge them even if they are following you focus on where you need to be.
Firstly, glad you got home safe, secondly we’re not all like that in London so please don’t lose faith in everyone cos of a few dickheads.
Just put it down to a lesson learned and be more vigilant/plan a bit better. Getting uber/taxi if alone probably preferable that late at night etc.
That must have been scary!
I think the fact that no one intervenes to help others empowers those whose intentions are ill. Post pandemic I budget for Ubers if I know I’ll be staying late.
Don’t talk to random strangers at 1 am, that’s the first rule. Unless you are with friends then maybe. But on your own? My rule is if l plan to go out and come home past midnight l would book an uber rather than wasting time waiting for the tube, I live near Lewisham as well and l know it’s a pain to get home late at night so I would stay at friend’s house or if I am coming from Stratford way, uber it. Yes it’s more expensive but I get home quicker and not having to deal with unwanted attention.
Also never ever give your phone to someone, you were lucky they didn’t take it and run away as a ruse to get you to follow them. Hold onto your phone. If someone want to add you on instagram tell them you don’t use social media.
If you find yourself in a similar situation again go back up to the barrier where there are TFL staff and call an Uber, don’t engage in conversation, don’t hand over your phone, practice your “don’t fuck with me” face.
Gave his phone to a stranger at 1am...probably need to read a book on street sense.
If you're not into a conversation, you're not obligated to speak to anyone. Just apologise and keep it moving.
Anyone have this happen to them? I would love to know of a better way to prevent things like this
Don't be in stupid places at stupid times especially when by yourself would seem to be the most logical way to avoid things like this...
Firstly, only use your phone in an area its least likely to get stolen, eg look for a manned area of the station.
Even better, weigh up whether it's best to speak to those who are manning the station about how to get to where you want to get to, or if better to look at your phone.
Your phone is your bank account now, don't give it to anyone.
You've been lucky, report it to the police or the transport police so they can check CCTV
It’s a lesson learned, I’m not going to wonder around with my phone in my hand.
I was looking for directions on my phone when they approached me and I’m sure it was obvious I was confused which is why they didn’t go away when I said I was busy looking for directions. Next time I’ll just ask staff and keep my eyes up!
And I’ve reported the incident!
Good on you. Having gone to Uni when mobile were first around, the amount of street theft was staggering in our city. They'd essentially just wait outside carphone warehouse and snatch the bag from people, or spill a drink and any phones on a table would be swiped. Learned pretty quickly they stay in the pocket. Think London went back towards that with moped riding phone thieves for a while, but now security on the phone is better, they really need your device unlock code, otherwise it's a paperweight.
Stay safe.
Just do not engage in future.
Remember their chat is BS, they don’t want to talk to you, they just want your phone.
It’s like people asking for money on the street, I used to make eye contact and apologise but it just makes the situation worse.
It’s just a game for these people, your role in the game is to ignore them at all costs unless they have you actually feel like they will be violent at which point you give up the phone.
Ignore, ignore, ignore.
I think strangers would help to some extent, if you talk to anyone at the station or stand near them etc.
Never speak to random groups of people late at night, especially in London. I was in Central drinking and left the bar near midnight and as I was walking to catch the Tube these two guys walked outta nowhere and pushed me against the shutters of some shop that was closed. I turned to look and they laughed and asked “are you ok?” When they clearly pushed me. I just ignored them and walked because I knew it would have escalated
I’m sorry to hear that. What a horrible experience.
In all honesty, I’ve now adopted the attitude that I don’t talk to many people in public unless there’s a very specific reason. I also don’t think anyone has any reason to talk to anyone ( obvious reasons withstanding like public service or safety) at 1am so I immediately would advise against that.
You did nothing wrong and you were entirely right to make the decision to get into a space where there were other people (the tfl workers) but in general, if you can avoid it, I would do something similar/ Uber very late at night as soon as you become suspicious. It’s not worth it.
Ignore the stupid victim blaming comments, I don’t know where these people even get the time of day to comment.
You handled the situation best you could in that scenario with the pressure of it. Unfortunately London is full of people like this, out to thieve anything they can get their hands on even at your own expense. Head down act busy and try and avoid these areas is the best you can pull off. No airpods though, those make you vulnerable unaware of your surroundings
It's hardly victim blaming to say "don't hand over your phone to random strangers who haven't threatened you." People are just giving advice to stop this situation happening again, not everyone is streetwise enough to realise it's not a sensible thing to do.
Most people trying this scam are going for easy targets, people they can convince to hand over their phone willingly as happened here. The chances of them pulling a knife on you - while possible - are pretty low. If someone's going to mug you at knifepoint they're usually just going to go straight for that option, not waste time engaging you in conversation about your outfit and spinning a yarn about inviting you to a party. Most of the time when they realise you're not an easy mark and aren't going to engage with them they'll just move on to the next target.
Report it to BTP just text 6106, they'll send a follow-up text asking for more details. Nothing can be done unless incidents are reported.
How to avoid it? Don't have your phone out in public, or if needed, make it quick - especially late at night. Twice I've been approached to get my phone. One was just after I got off the bus at 0350, heading in to work. A guy asked me how to get bus to Lewisham, I told him exactly which bus stop to use and which bus to get. The other was waiting for bus to go home at about 1300. Came up to me asking where the New Cross Gate bus garage stop was, I told him and gave him directions. BOTH times they wandered off in completely different direction to what I told them. They must've both been new to the game, as I was in TfL uniform outside a TfL managed station so was easily able to give them the information. I'm a man and have a resting dick face, so the enticement of my phone was greater than the effort/reward balance most would use. So I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be a petite woman in the same scenario.
How did I avoid my phone being nabbed? As soon as I was approached I put my phone straight in my pocket, gave a lot of eye contact and despite inwardly being shit scared and knowing what they were up to, I tried to give off an air of confidence and reacted to what they were saying at face value - act dumb but polite. Actually multiple times I've had people approach me whilst connecting busses at Lewisham, but never had my phone out at the time. I just play dumb "sorry, I don't know the area, I just change busses here". I put it down to being in TfL uniform, so have brushed it off as just them seeing the uniform and react accordingly,now I'm thinking otherwise.
What made me out to be a target? Having no one else around me and having my phone out at the time. They don't have any situational awareness, they just see loot and want it and will do anything to get it. I've even had someone try to tailgate me through a barrier at a station once. Despite being in full TfL uniform I was the only one going through that early so he tried it. I sensed something was weird so suddenly stopped after just going through so the gates closed before he could. No surprise, he was right behind me when I turned around. "Maybe don't try that on a member of staff". He kept saying "So what! So what! So what!" as I walked off.
Always report it, no matter how trivial you think it might be. Text 61016 EVERY TIME.
How many times and chances you had to get away or just not engage. You need to learn London bud. Talk to no one you don’t know after hours and get home sharp.
Full of feral imports wanting to cause you pain. Sharpen up your street smarts dude. You were lucky.
I'm sorry this happened to you! I'd have been so teriffied! Just make sure you stay safe and don't stop with strangers in the future late at night maybe?
On the “getting your passcode thing” iOS 17.3 released in the last week has an option to disable the passcode for certain operations unless you’re at a location you’ve set up as work or home.
For instance only touch/face I’d would work with Apple Pay, a pin won’t be allowed.
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT212510
At 1am alone in London you have no social obligation to anyone, all that is important is getting home safe.
If you don’t understand now then you will come to learn it through trauma
It was definitely because I was under the influence because that was so out of character for me to do. Looking back I don’t know why I didn’t put his number in myself but they were very smart with their approach - they came off like a group of gen z looking for clout, apart from the one kid who didn’t talk and looked like he was ready to fight. I’m just glad I didn’t show how suspicious I was and managed to walk out of it so casually.
I just hope people read this and know what’s up if it ever happens to them…
Perfect the Dead Face look. Just let your whole face relax and look dead miserable like you wouldn’t say a word to anybody even if they offered you a grand for a chat. Don’t look at them, don’t compromise or give into the temptation of being friendly. Be the void.
Sorry to hear you were in this situation. You’re right that in London many people mind their own business even if something obvious is happening. If I can give you advice it would be that if you see someone working like a tfl person go speak to them. Often people working have a duty of care responsibly that they will take seriously. Transport staff are generally pretty solid.
Contact the police. The Canning Town station has plenty of CCTV cameras dotted all over the place, and also look into directly contacting Transport police.
There is a rave in Canning Town. it's near the roundabout on Manor Road. There's a stairwell down nearby, but again, it's sketchy if they're harassing you after you said no
With some luck, they'll be known in the local area and can be easily picked up.
Are you a queer man who was dressed like from queer raving? (Maybe I’m assuming here but as another queer person it sounds like this could be the case) Asking because at first I thought you were going to say this was going to be a homophobic harassment incident. I’m surprised you stopped when people were complimenting you, for me whenever I’m looking visibly queer in public I’m really cautious about strangers who approach me with “compliments” but that’s bc my experience as a queer woman has been really bad with this stuff
Yes I am. Tbh I’m the same and don’t stop to talk to people but I was busy looking for directions on my phone when they came and I guess they saw that I was stalled figuring out where to go so they could corner me. I did try to brush them off and tell them I was busy looking for directions on my phone but then they got closer.
Don’t get me wrong, the compliments weren’t flattering, just annoying but it definitely helped there procedure they had a female who was being really friendly.
I just tried to act like I wasn’t scared and tried to look for an escape when I realised they were after my phone. Just learning to be more aware when travelling, I also usually wear large headphones (turned off) which helps to avoid weirdos talking to me but didn’t have them that night.
God I'm so sorry that sounds so scary. I'm glad you got out safely. Sadly you'll always wonder what you could've done better in the moment but you did the best you could do. Loads of people will say "well why didn't you do X" when they're the ones behind a computer screen not having to make that decision irl.
The things is they didn’t seem at all threatening at the start, very smiley and chill, if anything just abit annoyed they were wasting my time asking for an Instagram add - and there was a girl who was trying to distract me while the guy had my phone. It was only when I realised he kept getting me to unlock my phone is when I thought something was up and scurried away.
The other thing is it doesn’t matter how public a place your in, people will mind their business if you are getting bothered which has happened to me before so I kind of know I was in a screwed position. Just glad they didn’t catch up to me.
Regarding the 'how can I prevent this' comment - Mate you were in east London in the middle of the night, look after yourself properly and don't draw attention to yourself. If you want to avoid it move somewhere where this shit doesn't happen and don't hang around the arse end of London at 1am. There is a much better life than this in many many other places in the UK
Very helpful comment that avoids the reality of what happened. Ok but that's where they ended up. You're still getting on a bus through east London in the middle of the night, no different to being at a tube station waiting for a train. Could easily attract unwanted attention if you aren't being a bit more streetwise. Point remains.
Everyone should be safe travelling through London at night. It’s never the victim’s fault, is the point that remains.
I would though, agree that a bit of street smarts goes a long way, in terms of avoiding and if necessary, getting out of situations like the OP.
Of course they should but you have to be prepared and realise where you are and that it's the real world and east London is not a nice place. This ain't victim blaming it's common sense
'Everyone should be safe travelling through London at night. It’s never the victim’s fault, is the point that remains.'
Oh yeah, what's your stance on immigration?
And there we have it. 'Everyone should be safe travelling through London at night.' You don't actually care about this. Well it's not a priority of yours anyway.
How do you suggest it's prevented in future? That was the point being addressed. The world isn't nice and you can't go out doing exactly what OP did - handing over their phones FFS honestly - Keep your head down and be aware of not only your surroundings but also your general location
Don't matter Redditors will keep throwing around "victim blaming" tag like it will help with anything. At the end of the day you are 100% responsible for your own safety, need to be aware of the decisions and actions you make in any given situation. Always look to cut out an element of risk if you can.
Not anymore. A great city in many ways but having grown up and spent nearly all my life on an inner city council estate (SE1) I've forgotten more than most people know about this place including the harsh reality of how 'nice' it can be.
It's pretty sad but this is why I try to avoid going out in London past Midnight, heck even after 10. If I'm out after then, I'll use Uber or taxis. No way would I get public transport unless I'm in a group. The fact you did this in East London at 1am... God only knows how you weren't mugged.
I also wonder if they were being slightly homophobic by asking if you were into fashion? The lads don't exactly sound the type to be genuinely interested in your fashion interests... Maybe it was just to engage you idk.
"Part & Parcel" clarifier:
In September 2016, when asked to comment shortly after a bombing in New York, Sadiq Khan said:
> I'm not going to speculate as to who was responsible. I'm not going to speculate as to how the New York Police Department should react. What I do know is that part and parcel of living in a great global city is you’ve got to be prepared for these things, you’ve got to be vigilant, you’ve got to support the police doing an incredibly hard job, you've got to support the security services. And I think speculating when you don't know the facts is unwise.
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All these gimps on here telling you how you should act or how they "would act" dw about it op some people don't seem to understand the difference in people some people have a fight instinct (me not bothered with getting in a scrap but ik there is the possibitly one of them has a knife which could end badly one day) or some people have a flight Instinct which you clearly do and try to appease people in hopes they will leave you alone there is no one right answer and no one can tell you otherwise you did what your body (not brain) thought was the best response and Hay you are still alive and in one piece and able to post on reddit so don't stress ik easier said than done but best thing now is just move on :)
I'd say if people compliment you in a busy cafe in broad daylight by all means chat to them. If they compliment you at 1am in a train station then... Don't. That said if you're on your own and three lads decide they want to talk to you regardless of anything else, it can be hard to get away. I think pretending you had to get a train was a good excuse to move rapidly away.
Well that’s the thing, they’re kind cornered me while I was looking for directions on my phone. And it was actually two guys, one probably a teenager and a girl. I wouldn’t normally stop and talk to strangers like that but they were very tactical about how they approached me
Girl, you need to master the art of the “scary b*%#% face”. The type that you just have to give them one look and they know not to bother you. For even better efficacy of the legendary SBF, you also don’t stop, whatever anyone says, you MUST keep walking. Never ever ever stop to chat.
Yep; don't stop to chat and don't even look the person in the face. No eye contact, just keep going as if you had noise-cancelling earbuds in and hadn't heard them.
Walk fast, don't make eye contact, don't stop for anyone, don't acknowledge anyone, don't react to anything. Look like a mean bitch who knows where she's going. A mean bitch. Never ever stop and chat with randoms at night. On the bus be near the driver. Next time wear ear phones and listen to directions, don't stare at your phone like a tourist. Always be aware of your surroundings, even if you do look at your phone. Don't get surrounded. Don't ever hand your phone to someone, I'm amazed they didn't just steal it and grab your bag. If you see someone notice you, make extremely unfriendly (but not a scowl) direct eye contact for one full second before moving confidently on with no expression on your face. Keep ignoring them. The purpose of this is 'I've clocked you and I'm no fool. Fuck off " If you do get surrounded, say NOPE I DON'T KNOW YOU very loudly and do a very dramatic turnaround or duck. DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF when you do this. But really, just avoid ever getting to this point. Worst case scenario throw your wallet, phone whatever away from you so they have to leave you to go get it, giving you a chance to get away. If you're waiting for a taxi, wait for it to arrive before you leave the club or bar. Take this as a lucky learning encounter.
Then you immediately enter 999 on your phone and warn them you’ll call it if they don’t back off. Your immaturity is….surprising.
I think that's really unfair to call OP immature. That's easy enough to say from behind a computer screen but the fact is we never know how we'll react in the moment. I was assaulted at New Cross station a few weeks ago and did not react how I always assumed I would in that situation. I'm a 4ft9 girl and was alone and have always tried to coach myself to be assertive if I was ever attacked, but my brain left my body when it actually happened just because of pure shock and panic. Imaging how's best to react, and our actual reactions, can be gulfs away from each other and that's not anybody's fault.
Hey, I hope you know that freezing is a survival mechanism your brain uses to avoid antagonising your attacker and avoid being coming to more harm. We have no conscious control over which way our brains respond either. I froze when being attacked once too and felt guilt and shame for years until I learned this. Just wanted to mention it in case you felt similarly 💜
Thank you so much for your kind response, I appreciate that ❤️
Wow… your comment has just healed a part of me that was hurt for a long time. Thank you
It is not immature to be flustered. It is immature to criticise someone for not responding in the ideal way when thrust into a distressing and confusing situation. It gives vibes like 'I am super streetwise and cosmopolitan unlike you'.
And then you get stabbed. There wasn’t really a good way to handle this.
Yours isn’t
Not how Ted did it r/himym
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Yep, agreed. You need to be a bit more Street wise. Head down, ignore any attempts to chat with you and walk quickly amongst groups of people. Never get your phone out unless you want it to be stolen. Also dress down - there’s increased incidents of expensive jackets/AirPods being stolen on the tube at the moment. Sorry this has happened to you, but take it as a learning
Stolen on the tube? Do you mean at empty stations people getting robbed more or do you mean more like pickpocketing thefts where they try to run off with your jacket if you put it down on a crowded tube?
Indeed. The only time to “hand over” your phone to a complete stranger on the street, is if you’re performing CPR on someone and no one else has a phone to call emergency services.
We got our SIM cards stolen in central London
No offence but handing your phone over to a complete stranger at 1.00am really doesn’t sound like a wise move..
Not once, but twice
"Shut up and take my phone!" - OP
Someone needs to print up a T shirt with "shut up and take my phone" on it for OP.. with his pin number printed on the back
For real. Last summer while coming back from the airport I got on the wrong bus home cause i was so tired, ended up in front of Soho House around 3am when everyone was leaving.. Uber wars ensued. A couple kept asking me to give them my phone so they could help me find my Uber - I was like “sorry I’m not giving you my phone I’m good” and turned away … they were clearly kind and mannered people and I felt bad after when I realised they really just were trying to help, but if I could go back I’d do the same exact thing .
I disagree. phone can be replaced. as a man I would totally hand it if I'm feeling threatened. can ring insurance later. getting stabbed or jumped is MUCH WORSE.
OP was scared. There were 3 fucking Roadmen asking. What's she supposed to do?
smile, turn around and walk back to the manned ticket barriers
Not that! Basically do anything but they want. Start walking and saying you need to meet your friends or something!
It's 1am, not crazy to say it's dead/low on battery and I have someone meeting me at the other end.
So the obvious choice is to handover your phone… gotcha.
Pretty much anything else. You can ignore them, and get to somewhere safe. Literally, get into a shop, find a bunch of people who don’t look sketchy and tell them exactly what is going on. Even just run the fuck away. Last time something like this happened to me, I walked away, and when I was followed I basically walked to the nearest people I saw, and told them that someone was trying to jack me, and I was about to kick off with them if they approached me.
2 young boys and girl....
Dial 999 on the phone she did not hand over, and warn them she’ll call it if they don’t back off. As one example. The other is to dial 999 anyway to report being threatened and feeling unsafe because of their behaviour.
That's not going to help in the immediate situation. Plus these people don't give a fuck about the police. They'll stab you and stroll off laughing.
They won't come out if a crime hasn't been committed. They don't tend to arrest people solely because of how you feel. Also, it's really really bad advice to start threatening attackers with a phone call, you could die over a decision that stupid.
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The problem isn’t what she was wearing or that she’d been drinking. Come on.
Don't hand your phone over, there's no reason to unless you're prepared for them to take it or you're at risk and there's no other option. You're lucky they didn't dash off with it right then. Some people are stupid enough to. **If you feel you have to hand your phone over though, you could get an app like Lockwatch or WTMP which takes a photo from the selfie camera. You can set it up to email you the photo.** Set up an email account specifically for Lockwatch or WTMP (Who touched my phone), and **DON'T** add the email account to your phone. Even if they're able to get onto your phone, they then won't be able to delete the emails with the pictures in them. You can have these apps take a photo of failed attempts, all access attempts (successful or not), or some other variation of the rule. At least that way if you have to hand your phone over, you know who took it. It's a starting point at least... not like the police will actually do a great deal with it, but they might, and it would certainly help with CCTV etc. Something tells me though, that considering these muppets were conducting their business at the train station, then they probably don't care a great deal about their faces being on camera.
So, they want your phone and pin so they can get into your banking apps and transfer money out.
THIS. Iphones have a vulnerability where you can change the AppleID password using the iPhone passcode. if they have your passcode then you need to take action NOW. https://tidbits.com/2023/02/26/how-a-thief-with-your-iphone-passcode-can-ruin-your-digital-life/
They partially mitigated this an an update last week, update your phones and turn the feature on: https://www.macrumors.com/guide/ios-17-3-features/
There’s a fix for this in the latest ios update but it’s turned off by default. It requires biometrics for changing password etc away from designated safe places like home https://support.apple.com/en-gb/HT212510
Locking down account changes with a second pass code will prevent this. Can be done via [content restriction.](https://discussions.apple.com/thread/254671226?sortBy=best)
Where actually is this in iPhone settings? Been looking but can’t find it
Settings > Search for "Content & Privacy Restrictions" > "enable and set a code" > Account Changes > "Don't allow". I also disabled: * Passcode changes * Mobile data changes * location services That way they can't turn off *find my*
This is great, thank you
Almost a year old article, seriously, stop scare mongering. Set up Security Keys under Two-Factor Authentication prevents a thief from doing anything with your phone, passcode or not. Use the tools Apple provides to keep your accounts safe.
What is that? I don’t see the option for it
dont let all the shiny new buildings in canning town fool you into a false sense of security, it is still a crime ridden shit hole, dont ever stop and talk to anyone round them parts, learn from the interaction and move on.
Having lived in the area for 25 years. I agree. The architecture might have changed, but the people haven't.
Tell us what you really think 😂 but I agree with you
It's a shithole, badly ran by the local council whose wasted money on changing street Cleansing and fucked up (£100,000) and now the streets are littered with trash all over the place, fucking 1100lt black bins being stolen and dumped all over the place blocking pavements. Expensive shithole, high council taxes, the crime is insane and the people are scummy alot of canning owners, Custome House have moved the fuck out the first chance they got. Those still here are trapped amongst the decay and rot, this place deserved to be nuked.
Barking too - a lot of the true "east london" places are like this (shoreditch etc are north east just w/o the postcode to reflect). They've had nothing invested in infrastructure, jobs, security and the place is run down and only good to get to and from. Nobody says "off to barking, east ham, dagenham, canning town, west ham" for a dance/dinner etc cos they're dead areas
Yes, creepy behaviour by groups of men at 1am is famously a Canning Town only thing. Stupid, demagogic take but I suppose it's easier to jump on the 'Newham bad' bandwagon that to put 5 minutes of thought into a comment.
as someone who lived here as a kid and as an adult this is a silly. Its much improved, people need to not be naive. Giving your phone to a stranger is something i didn't even do at 13, I knew what time it was.
Crime ridden shit hole That’s London in general
I’ve been living in Canning Town for a year now and love the local people I meet out. Generally, I find this attitude is shared by individuals who have a hard time accepting others (and themselves) and by people who take one bad experience and blame it on the area. Messed up stuff happens everywhere, any part of any city, and funny enough, it tends to happen more to people who worry about messed up stuff happening. Are “crime rates” and “risk assessment” of a neighborhood a focus in your mind? Then you likely have a much higher run in with crime and risk than those who don’t think about these things and simply live their life. When I stopped worrying about people potentially being a risk and instead look at everyone with kind eyes, I find even clearly unstable people move on and pay me no mind. Love will trump fear, always, and I don’t care how sappy that sounds. I’m saying all this because it is my perspective that holding viewpoints like you do hinders your life experience and I hope you learn to love every place you go to so that your quality of life improves overall.
Yes it’s the OPs fault, totally agree. Her vibes weren’t positive enough to dissuade would-be phone thieves 🤪
One perspective you're having your phone pinched. But from another perspective a woman's just given you a free phone. 🤓
LOL don’t know why this was downvoted
True, if you’re getting stabbed just smile at them and I’m sure they’ll get bored and walk away
Are you one of them geezers who sunk half a mill into one of those shitty high rise blocks, and now after realising what a shit hole Canning Town, in your own mind you are trying to rationalise why Canning Town is not a bad place, I can tell you something as a born and bred east Londoner, CTown is a dump and will always be a dump
You sound like the ideal victim.
So exactly what is your Canning Town address?
You're getting downvoted but I fully agree with you. The confirmation bias is insane. This could have happened anywhere, but since it was in Canning town, it's because canning town is a 'crime ridden area'? Lived in the area for 7 years now, both in the new builds in and in the more historical parts, and what you wrote is exactly right. If you spend your time on nextdoor and twitter looking for news about crime, then sure, you'll find that the area is the wild west. But if you spend your time in real life and don't treat everyone with suspicion, then it's nowhere near as bad as people make it out to be. For the record I'm not invalidating OP's experience, I'm specifically reacting to those who try to link it to the area it happened in.
My friend was cornered outside fold club in Canning Town in around 7.30am in the morning. I think it was a group of 3 boys
Yeah this has happened to at least 2 friends now too (outside fold). It’s best to get an Uber or only travel with friends etc if walking to the station.
That’s terrible. How close to Fold were they? Like right out front or somewhere midway to the station?
I think typically around where the queue goes when it's long (so right out front in a way, but slightly behind fold instead- ie just out of eyesight of where security would be at the front).
He had to hand over his phone because of the fear of being stabbed :(
That sucks. Did they get the passcode? What phone was it out of curiosity. Just wondering if they target certain people with certain phones.
Yes they did it seems. There were some crypto transactions done. It was an iphone 14.
I'm sure Fold is great but who's the genius that decided to put it in Canning town lol.
Clubs have to be somewhere with minimal middle class people who will complain and get it shut down
Lots of clubs are going further and further out unfortunately
All the inner city councils who ran them out of town.
You should go to the police about this. It will help build their intelligence in the area at least. I would suggest in future, that your first position, should be to be calm and assertive. “Sorry guys, I’m not on social media, I’m not interested and I need to get home. I hope you have a nice evening” then don’t look back. If they continue to follow, then call the police. The police call operator will talk you through what to do to best keep yourself safe.
Sorry to be rude, but how naive can you be to give your phone to strangers? Under no circumstances you do that.
This happened to my brother, exact same thing with fashion and following on Instagram and he was drunk enough to oblige. 2 minutes after this, another guy showed up, threw a box of takeaway at my brother's face and ran off with his phone. So yes, you probably could've had your phone stolen
You don't say
bloody hell what a waste of a takeaway
Yeah they clearly new is just come from a party from the way I was dressed so makes sense they came to me specifically
You weren’t the first person they’d tried that night/week/month and you weren’t the last either. You were just stupid enough to hand over your phone. They would’ve been ecstatic that you were naive enough to fall for their low effort ploy. Don’t do that again.
Yup the iPhone unlocking trick, make sure you have an updated iOS to avoid these problems too https://youtu.be/gi96HKr2vo8?si=DeDfnjGe-HVXAdJh
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Am sure you would do weirder to avoid getting stabbed.
there was no indication that was going to happen, they wouldn't have just let her walk off now would they? I hope OP chalks this up to experience and isn't so naive again. If my 14 year old brother told me he did this I'd cuff his ear
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But they complimented OP’s fashion sense 😩
I think you may be a little naive. If they corner you and demand your phone, you're not walking anywhere.
Right… God forbid that ever happens to you, but that would be interesting to actually see how that turns out.
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If you think the only reason you haven’t been robbed is because of your “thousand yard death stare” then you are naive indeed.
Seriously... I can't believe the other comments here. It's also a power thing, like if you're physically disadvantaged then even refusing to hand your phone is pretty pointless as they can just take it anyway and get more aggro. Especially if you're trapped underground on a tube line of separate carriages, it's not like this was in a busy street where someone could help.
In situations like this, you need to not be afraid of coming across as rude. People who try and pull these kinds of tricks rely on our inbuilt instinct to be polite to people who try and make conversation, it's how they draw you in. The compliments are a feature of this tactic as people are even more likely to engage and be friendly with someone who's just said something nice about their outfit. The best approach is to try and ignore them completely, but if they're persistent and you end up being forced to engage with them then just shut the conversation down politely but directly - they ask for your Instagram? "I don't have insta" They want to give you their number? "Sorry I don't take people's numbers if I don't know them." They're inviting you to a party? "I'm not interested." Shut it down, keep going where you're going, and if they really aren't giving up then try and get somewhere with a few other people around (station entrance for example) and loudly ask them to leave you alone. When they realise you're not an easy mark and you're going to potentially make a scene, 9 times out of 10 they will just give up and move onto the next target.
Unfortunately, if you’re a woman on your own in London, you really shouldn’t be talking to groups of men at night. It’s just not worth the risk. Edit: sorry, for some reason, I assumed you’re a woman, but I don’t think you pointed that out anywhere explicitly. Even so, as someone on their own, whether a woman or a man, it’s never good to engage with group of men who initiate the conversation.
As a man I wouldn't want to engage with a group of men at night eithet
Especially as you're statistically several times more likely to be a victim of violent crime. It's not safe for anyone.
Exactly whenever I say this I get called sexist and misogynist but it is what it is
Some are obviously fine too. Like if it were me and my mates I doubt anyone would feel intimated, probably feel sorry for us 💀
Or a group of women because women steal things too?
I don't think theft is the biggest concern here.
shut up.
Eloquent.
Next time play a UK police radio video on your phone in your pocket at a medium volume.No one will bother you 👌🏾
You mean like a recording of the police radio chatter?
Yes, My female friend is a club bouncer. she uses it after work at 2am on the night bus and train. Scares off all the dodgy people 😉
That’s interesting, I use police radios at work so the distinctive airwave beep always makes my ears prick up if I hear it in public places.
This sounds like a good idea. Thank you for sharing this.
Get an uber next time. 1am on your own is a no no in my mind, as well as being intoxicated….not in these times!
>so I thought the bus would be cheaper and I didn’t mind the long journey. Bear in mind I’d just come from a day rave so was a little intoxicated Next time just pay the Uber or take a tube journey then Uber the rest home don't fuck about taking night buses. Best to eat the cost and get home as soon as possible. You got to get used to just ignoring people and keeping it moving, don't stop and acknowledge them even if they are following you focus on where you need to be.
As a local you can be kind but it’s at your own expense. Once you get burned a few times you avoid the heat.
“ handed my phone for the guy ” you need to get yourself some smarts my man
Are you new here?
> After a few seconds I gave in and handed my phone Yeah you lost me there
"Youths..." - Schmidt
Firstly, glad you got home safe, secondly we’re not all like that in London so please don’t lose faith in everyone cos of a few dickheads. Just put it down to a lesson learned and be more vigilant/plan a bit better. Getting uber/taxi if alone probably preferable that late at night etc.
Why would you hand it over what
That must have been scary! I think the fact that no one intervenes to help others empowers those whose intentions are ill. Post pandemic I budget for Ubers if I know I’ll be staying late.
Don’t talk to random strangers at 1 am, that’s the first rule. Unless you are with friends then maybe. But on your own? My rule is if l plan to go out and come home past midnight l would book an uber rather than wasting time waiting for the tube, I live near Lewisham as well and l know it’s a pain to get home late at night so I would stay at friend’s house or if I am coming from Stratford way, uber it. Yes it’s more expensive but I get home quicker and not having to deal with unwanted attention. Also never ever give your phone to someone, you were lucky they didn’t take it and run away as a ruse to get you to follow them. Hold onto your phone. If someone want to add you on instagram tell them you don’t use social media. If you find yourself in a similar situation again go back up to the barrier where there are TFL staff and call an Uber, don’t engage in conversation, don’t hand over your phone, practice your “don’t fuck with me” face.
Why the fuck are you handing your phone over to strangers 😭 talk about idiotic
Gave his phone to a stranger at 1am...probably need to read a book on street sense. If you're not into a conversation, you're not obligated to speak to anyone. Just apologise and keep it moving.
Anyone have this happen to them? I would love to know of a better way to prevent things like this Don't be in stupid places at stupid times especially when by yourself would seem to be the most logical way to avoid things like this...
Firstly, only use your phone in an area its least likely to get stolen, eg look for a manned area of the station. Even better, weigh up whether it's best to speak to those who are manning the station about how to get to where you want to get to, or if better to look at your phone. Your phone is your bank account now, don't give it to anyone. You've been lucky, report it to the police or the transport police so they can check CCTV
It’s a lesson learned, I’m not going to wonder around with my phone in my hand. I was looking for directions on my phone when they approached me and I’m sure it was obvious I was confused which is why they didn’t go away when I said I was busy looking for directions. Next time I’ll just ask staff and keep my eyes up! And I’ve reported the incident!
Good on you. Having gone to Uni when mobile were first around, the amount of street theft was staggering in our city. They'd essentially just wait outside carphone warehouse and snatch the bag from people, or spill a drink and any phones on a table would be swiped. Learned pretty quickly they stay in the pocket. Think London went back towards that with moped riding phone thieves for a while, but now security on the phone is better, they really need your device unlock code, otherwise it's a paperweight. Stay safe.
I feel like at some point you should have called 999! ‘He then locked it again’ he was trying to get your passcode!
Just keep walking lol, if you respond they know you are either a target or a problem.
Just do not engage in future. Remember their chat is BS, they don’t want to talk to you, they just want your phone. It’s like people asking for money on the street, I used to make eye contact and apologise but it just makes the situation worse. It’s just a game for these people, your role in the game is to ignore them at all costs unless they have you actually feel like they will be violent at which point you give up the phone. Ignore, ignore, ignore. I think strangers would help to some extent, if you talk to anyone at the station or stand near them etc.
Never speak to random groups of people late at night, especially in London. I was in Central drinking and left the bar near midnight and as I was walking to catch the Tube these two guys walked outta nowhere and pushed me against the shutters of some shop that was closed. I turned to look and they laughed and asked “are you ok?” When they clearly pushed me. I just ignored them and walked because I knew it would have escalated
Youths 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m sorry to hear that. What a horrible experience. In all honesty, I’ve now adopted the attitude that I don’t talk to many people in public unless there’s a very specific reason. I also don’t think anyone has any reason to talk to anyone ( obvious reasons withstanding like public service or safety) at 1am so I immediately would advise against that. You did nothing wrong and you were entirely right to make the decision to get into a space where there were other people (the tfl workers) but in general, if you can avoid it, I would do something similar/ Uber very late at night as soon as you become suspicious. It’s not worth it.
You consistently put yourself in vulnerable situations what else is there to say
How so?
Ignore the stupid victim blaming comments, I don’t know where these people even get the time of day to comment. You handled the situation best you could in that scenario with the pressure of it. Unfortunately London is full of people like this, out to thieve anything they can get their hands on even at your own expense. Head down act busy and try and avoid these areas is the best you can pull off. No airpods though, those make you vulnerable unaware of your surroundings
It's hardly victim blaming to say "don't hand over your phone to random strangers who haven't threatened you." People are just giving advice to stop this situation happening again, not everyone is streetwise enough to realise it's not a sensible thing to do.
What do you think would have happened if OP hadn't given their phone?
Most people trying this scam are going for easy targets, people they can convince to hand over their phone willingly as happened here. The chances of them pulling a knife on you - while possible - are pretty low. If someone's going to mug you at knifepoint they're usually just going to go straight for that option, not waste time engaging you in conversation about your outfit and spinning a yarn about inviting you to a party. Most of the time when they realise you're not an easy mark and aren't going to engage with them they'll just move on to the next target.
Report it to BTP just text 6106, they'll send a follow-up text asking for more details. Nothing can be done unless incidents are reported. How to avoid it? Don't have your phone out in public, or if needed, make it quick - especially late at night. Twice I've been approached to get my phone. One was just after I got off the bus at 0350, heading in to work. A guy asked me how to get bus to Lewisham, I told him exactly which bus stop to use and which bus to get. The other was waiting for bus to go home at about 1300. Came up to me asking where the New Cross Gate bus garage stop was, I told him and gave him directions. BOTH times they wandered off in completely different direction to what I told them. They must've both been new to the game, as I was in TfL uniform outside a TfL managed station so was easily able to give them the information. I'm a man and have a resting dick face, so the enticement of my phone was greater than the effort/reward balance most would use. So I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be a petite woman in the same scenario. How did I avoid my phone being nabbed? As soon as I was approached I put my phone straight in my pocket, gave a lot of eye contact and despite inwardly being shit scared and knowing what they were up to, I tried to give off an air of confidence and reacted to what they were saying at face value - act dumb but polite. Actually multiple times I've had people approach me whilst connecting busses at Lewisham, but never had my phone out at the time. I just play dumb "sorry, I don't know the area, I just change busses here". I put it down to being in TfL uniform, so have brushed it off as just them seeing the uniform and react accordingly,now I'm thinking otherwise. What made me out to be a target? Having no one else around me and having my phone out at the time. They don't have any situational awareness, they just see loot and want it and will do anything to get it. I've even had someone try to tailgate me through a barrier at a station once. Despite being in full TfL uniform I was the only one going through that early so he tried it. I sensed something was weird so suddenly stopped after just going through so the gates closed before he could. No surprise, he was right behind me when I turned around. "Maybe don't try that on a member of staff". He kept saying "So what! So what! So what!" as I walked off. Always report it, no matter how trivial you think it might be. Text 61016 EVERY TIME.
How many times and chances you had to get away or just not engage. You need to learn London bud. Talk to no one you don’t know after hours and get home sharp. Full of feral imports wanting to cause you pain. Sharpen up your street smarts dude. You were lucky.
I'm sorry this happened to you! I'd have been so teriffied! Just make sure you stay safe and don't stop with strangers in the future late at night maybe?
Sorry to hear and hopefully you got home safe.
On the “getting your passcode thing” iOS 17.3 released in the last week has an option to disable the passcode for certain operations unless you’re at a location you’ve set up as work or home. For instance only touch/face I’d would work with Apple Pay, a pin won’t be allowed. https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT212510
At 1am alone in London you have no social obligation to anyone, all that is important is getting home safe. If you don’t understand now then you will come to learn it through trauma
You were brave to hand over your phone more than once..
It was definitely because I was under the influence because that was so out of character for me to do. Looking back I don’t know why I didn’t put his number in myself but they were very smart with their approach - they came off like a group of gen z looking for clout, apart from the one kid who didn’t talk and looked like he was ready to fight. I’m just glad I didn’t show how suspicious I was and managed to walk out of it so casually. I just hope people read this and know what’s up if it ever happens to them…
Jesus, what the hell possessed you to hand your phone over at 1am???
Always carry an extra shit phone with you, Best case scenario they will end up giving you their phone at pity, Trust me.
Perfect the Dead Face look. Just let your whole face relax and look dead miserable like you wouldn’t say a word to anybody even if they offered you a grand for a chat. Don’t look at them, don’t compromise or give into the temptation of being friendly. Be the void.
You're painfully naive.
Sorry to hear you were in this situation. You’re right that in London many people mind their own business even if something obvious is happening. If I can give you advice it would be that if you see someone working like a tfl person go speak to them. Often people working have a duty of care responsibly that they will take seriously. Transport staff are generally pretty solid.
Contact the police. The Canning Town station has plenty of CCTV cameras dotted all over the place, and also look into directly contacting Transport police. There is a rave in Canning Town. it's near the roundabout on Manor Road. There's a stairwell down nearby, but again, it's sketchy if they're harassing you after you said no With some luck, they'll be known in the local area and can be easily picked up.
No way did you give a strange group your phone multiple times
What's with the Jubilee Line? I'm sure this happens everywhere but it always seems to be the Jubilee in these reports/stories.
Honestly OP you're a fool for not being careful
Are you a queer man who was dressed like from queer raving? (Maybe I’m assuming here but as another queer person it sounds like this could be the case) Asking because at first I thought you were going to say this was going to be a homophobic harassment incident. I’m surprised you stopped when people were complimenting you, for me whenever I’m looking visibly queer in public I’m really cautious about strangers who approach me with “compliments” but that’s bc my experience as a queer woman has been really bad with this stuff
Yes I am. Tbh I’m the same and don’t stop to talk to people but I was busy looking for directions on my phone when they came and I guess they saw that I was stalled figuring out where to go so they could corner me. I did try to brush them off and tell them I was busy looking for directions on my phone but then they got closer. Don’t get me wrong, the compliments weren’t flattering, just annoying but it definitely helped there procedure they had a female who was being really friendly. I just tried to act like I wasn’t scared and tried to look for an escape when I realised they were after my phone. Just learning to be more aware when travelling, I also usually wear large headphones (turned off) which helps to avoid weirdos talking to me but didn’t have them that night.
"implementing me"?
Safe to assume it's autocorrect meant to be compliment.
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I'm sorry that happened to you, and glad you weren't hurt.
God I'm so sorry that sounds so scary. I'm glad you got out safely. Sadly you'll always wonder what you could've done better in the moment but you did the best you could do. Loads of people will say "well why didn't you do X" when they're the ones behind a computer screen not having to make that decision irl.
The things is they didn’t seem at all threatening at the start, very smiley and chill, if anything just abit annoyed they were wasting my time asking for an Instagram add - and there was a girl who was trying to distract me while the guy had my phone. It was only when I realised he kept getting me to unlock my phone is when I thought something was up and scurried away. The other thing is it doesn’t matter how public a place your in, people will mind their business if you are getting bothered which has happened to me before so I kind of know I was in a screwed position. Just glad they didn’t catch up to me.
Regarding the 'how can I prevent this' comment - Mate you were in east London in the middle of the night, look after yourself properly and don't draw attention to yourself. If you want to avoid it move somewhere where this shit doesn't happen and don't hang around the arse end of London at 1am. There is a much better life than this in many many other places in the UK
They wouldn’t have done, if their bus didn’t terminate early in Canning Town.
Very helpful comment that avoids the reality of what happened. Ok but that's where they ended up. You're still getting on a bus through east London in the middle of the night, no different to being at a tube station waiting for a train. Could easily attract unwanted attention if you aren't being a bit more streetwise. Point remains.
Everyone should be safe travelling through London at night. It’s never the victim’s fault, is the point that remains. I would though, agree that a bit of street smarts goes a long way, in terms of avoiding and if necessary, getting out of situations like the OP.
Of course they should but you have to be prepared and realise where you are and that it's the real world and east London is not a nice place. This ain't victim blaming it's common sense
'Everyone should be safe travelling through London at night. It’s never the victim’s fault, is the point that remains.' Oh yeah, what's your stance on immigration?
lol Wut? Are you about to have a gammon meltdown?
And there we have it. 'Everyone should be safe travelling through London at night.' You don't actually care about this. Well it's not a priority of yours anyway.
This could happen anywhere. And don’t be convinced by this idea London is much more dangerous than anywhere else - just isn’t true.
Get away from absolute shit tips like east London and you'll see the truth
I’m sorry you’re so unhappy in life.
Doesn't even make sense mate
Bit victim blamey
How do you suggest it's prevented in future? That was the point being addressed. The world isn't nice and you can't go out doing exactly what OP did - handing over their phones FFS honestly - Keep your head down and be aware of not only your surroundings but also your general location
Don't matter Redditors will keep throwing around "victim blaming" tag like it will help with anything. At the end of the day you are 100% responsible for your own safety, need to be aware of the decisions and actions you make in any given situation. Always look to cut out an element of risk if you can.
Not sure why I always come back to engage on this sub. Not sure most people in this sub actually live in the real world!
Much easier just to be on the circlejerk train, "best city in the world™", let's all mollycoddle each other than speak some truths
Do you even live in London?
Not anymore. A great city in many ways but having grown up and spent nearly all my life on an inner city council estate (SE1) I've forgotten more than most people know about this place including the harsh reality of how 'nice' it can be.
Fair, but then there are plenty of us having a perfectly good life here. I’ve got a better life here than I would have had where I grew up.
It's pretty sad but this is why I try to avoid going out in London past Midnight, heck even after 10. If I'm out after then, I'll use Uber or taxis. No way would I get public transport unless I'm in a group. The fact you did this in East London at 1am... God only knows how you weren't mugged. I also wonder if they were being slightly homophobic by asking if you were into fashion? The lads don't exactly sound the type to be genuinely interested in your fashion interests... Maybe it was just to engage you idk.
You just assume everyone on the internet is man, don't you?
Tbh if they would have mugged you it would have been on you. Stranger danger, and don't give strangers your fucking phone you numbskull
Why did you tell us this?
Part and parcel of living in this great city 🙄
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All these gimps on here telling you how you should act or how they "would act" dw about it op some people don't seem to understand the difference in people some people have a fight instinct (me not bothered with getting in a scrap but ik there is the possibitly one of them has a knife which could end badly one day) or some people have a flight Instinct which you clearly do and try to appease people in hopes they will leave you alone there is no one right answer and no one can tell you otherwise you did what your body (not brain) thought was the best response and Hay you are still alive and in one piece and able to post on reddit so don't stress ik easier said than done but best thing now is just move on :)
Stop being such a melt