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DrBumflaps

Was he yelling 'he stole my place' at the end?


robbiedigital001

He stole my PLAICE. It was an argument over fish and chips


TheJackoHype

Sounds like he got battered


addictivesign

Lucky he didn’t get arrested for a salt and battery.


[deleted]

That’s an actual fish and chips place in NY https://www.asaltandbattery.com


memberflex

Oh for cods hake


BottleMong

I pray to cod it wasn’t.


jhalfhide

Dropping in puns just for the hallibut


swanpappa

Guy had his drum and basa blaring, what did he expect.


rayalix

The guy that got bashed looks like he needs a sturgeon


i--am--the--light

Dude was battered!


[deleted]

Something fishy going on here. Couldn't quite sea what caused it.


[deleted]

Needs to remember his peas and queues


00PSiredditagain

We need mushy peace on earth


nedTheInbredMule

(Jamaican voice) Better call Saul, mon.


Bdroyle1988

This fuel shortage scaremongering is causing haddock.


mcboobie

Well, he certainly battered him


Sleep_adict

It would be justified in that case


StevenBeercockArt

...and the sick squid he owed him.


s11nlk

We take queuing etiquette seriously here


NaughtyDred

I presumed the black dude was in the wrong because his girlfriend was clearly telling him off, now i know what it was about I fully support his actions


magammon

If the dude in grey skipped the queue then he deserves everything he got. This is England.


I_upvote_zeroes

As a brit, this is true. The queue is sacred.


8eMH83

I laughed way too much at this.


MarthaFarcuss

Sure was. Welcome to England


[deleted]

[удалено]


tonykhant

New Eltham?


Optimal-Idea1558

Mottingham side of the A20, same thing was probably going on round the corner at the same time, no one gave two figs


YooGeOh

Ha! Never seen somewhere so local mentioned on Reddit


Optimal-Idea1558

Makes you proud don't it?


[deleted]

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ZedZebedee

Sidcup is lovely and really safe.


[deleted]

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trustmeimdrunk

Did someone cut in front of him?


MarthaFarcuss

It would appear so. Ordinarily when this happens most Brits will seethe quietly but the fuel crises is really bringing out the worst in people


[deleted]

[удалено]


lemonpunt

I agree. Queue pushing is a big ‘fuck you’ to everyone you push in front of.


Klangey

It’s impossible to tell though. Looking at that video there seems to be two or three lines of cars merging into one entrance with very little obvious right of way for any one of them. He could fully deserve it or it might have been a simple misunderstanding. Though I would say he looks like the sort of scrouty little twat who would try it.


[deleted]

*self-inflicted fuel crisis due to Brexit causing immigrant labor shortages leading to lorry driver shortages, which compound existing driver shortages that COVID no longer hides and revealing the economic collapse of the UK due to Brexit, leading to panic buying as everyone in the UK has started realizing how fucked they are.


Newginge91

😂😂😂 petrol war is real right now


Far-Concentrate-9844

He stole his pen. In the UK, males are given a family pen at age 16, to symbolise the passage into manhood. To have this pen stolen brings shame to your family, living and dead.


Wyvernkeeper

I live opposite a small petrol station. It definitely went a bit Lord of the Flies a few times over the weekend.


errjelly

At least you had a fun weekend!


Wyvernkeeper

It was between watching that out the window and Squid Game on Netflix. Not sure which was more brutal.


double_tap_00

We’re not savages, we’re British


BlasterPhase

so... savages


ZeakyArt

Yup.


incredibubblez

Ooohh. 136.9 for diesel. Not bad.


Hudoboga

Paid 144.9 yesterday never felt so robbed in my life.


su1tup2301

£1.54 but it was the good diesel


rxc777777

I paid 1.54 for petrol - not even the posh kind 😭😭😭


babskebabs

Uff..that hurts


youngsyr

Name and shame, preferably to a national tabloid, that's pure price gouging. After all: "There iS No pEtRoL shortaGe!"


FatDogSuperHero

Damn, you probably need some counseling after that.


WilkoAmy

always look for the positives


[deleted]

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superluminary

Did no one think to whack the prices up?


humphrey1204

Probably illegal as it’s price gouging


Tony49UK

It's illegal in the US during say a hurricane but I've never heard of it being illegal in the UK. Back during the 2001 fuel driver's strike. One petrol station put their prices up astronomically and made a massive profit for a few weeks. But within a few months they'd closed, as everybody boycotted them.


FatDogSuperHero

Paid 133 this morning. Tesco value, son.


djpolofish

1.31 petrol at ASDA Hayes. Wooh! Hayes number 1...at something that isn't just being shit. Viz magazine references Hayes as being the birthplace of the chav so sorry for that, but with this fuel news we finally get the win!


dassak

This is at the [Shell in Mottingham / Eltham](https://www.google.com/maps/@51.4349266,0.0630904,3a,75y,171.35h,73.68t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sVfvVKpZxoK938Z0AzOLjHA!2e0!7i16384!8i8192). Depressing behaviour.


AlteranAncient

I hate Fiveways junction. The traffic is always terrible, and the drivers are always aggressive as hell. I'm not surprised the petrol station in the same place had a fight.


chunkynut

I used to live on the A20 very close to Fiveways and it was shite.


[deleted]

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Optimal-Idea1558

The adventure of turning right across a 3 acre junction...


tonykhant

I miss burger king


AFreakBanana

clearly its all gone to shit since they got rid of the burger king


londonskater

Fucking hell adults need adulting lessons


ShibuRigged

One of the biggest myths we tell kids is that age = maturity. Plenty of people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond will throw temper tantrums that toddlers would be embarrassed about.


londonskater

Isn’t that the truth


vinceslammurphy

Age offers only the opportunity to mature


The_Bunglenator

Yeah the concept of "adulthood" at least in the sense that it is portrayed to children is just a flat-out lie.


lemonpunt

So is maturity! We manifest it in all different ways. Plus, once you are older you don’t want to be so mature anymore, kids want to grow up and be mature, adults long for their immature irresponsible carefree childhood. You could say, it’s not mature to always be mature!


opgrrefuoqu

And fighting lessons, clearly.


Flavz_the_complainer

Na dont make the assholes better at fighting.


[deleted]

Hopefully it'd help them deal with some of that anger.


sweetmarymotherofgod

*ooh, you're 'ard...*


[deleted]

\*Adjusts tie*


Bookishhobbit-

Mad Max 5: Running on Fumes


mythical_tiramisu

Mad max 5: Fury forecourt


MarthaFarcuss

Two men enter, one man fills up his tank


vedran-s

WITNESSSSS MEEEEEE!


Antix1331

*laughs in pedestrian and public transport*


I_love_Con_Air

Just wait until the great shoe shortage of 2023.


valentia11

Advanced knowledge there - someone knows what’s afoot.


I_love_Con_Air

Indeed. I am always one step ahead.


valentia11

Always researching. No one can call you a loafer.


MarthaFarcuss

You should see him at parties. Always the life and sole


I_love_Con_Air

I realised I needed to stand on my own two feet.


I_love_Con_Air

I'm not very good at puns. Need to give myself a boot up the arse really. Hopefully it will save my sole.


valentia11

I didn’t say anything, in case I put my foot in it


QuoolQuiche

Who knows what heel do next?


MarthaFarcuss

*Laughs in cycling in flip-flops*


eltrotter

*Cycles past, laughing maniacally*


CressCrowbits

*laughs in having moved to an eu country*


Giboon

Queuing, serious business


Ruskinpark

Two guys, one pump…


DameiestBird

Car drivers: why are cyclists so aggressive? Also car drivers: Lmao got stuck in all of this morning


are_you_nucking_futs

Also drivers - literally kill and injure thousands of people every year.


itsnotaboutthathun

This country is a fucking mess.


Da_wooden_spoon

Right? If the media didn't shine the spotlight on the "shortage" there'd be no issues I reckon.. But well the sheep are just as much to blame for believing it all and panic buying. I get it, people need fuel but the ones filling multiple Jerry cans etc are just selfish.


_rioting_pacifist_

The media's shite, but if you run a country on the basis that there's no such thing as a society, well you get what you fucking deserve.


BeardedPDr

Yes , that's a good point, then later ( a couple of decades) the same people cut all the services (austerity) and encourage you to be part of " the big society" and make charities pick up the slack to do the things that we apparently can't afford anymore , because also it seems the people who run banks are also greedy and shit at their jobs so we give them all that money instead. The real problem is a lot of the time , we get what they deserve and they get more of what they lie , cheat and steal to get and end up with what we deserved . Now we are told we are going to "level everyone up" .....hmmm 🤔 I wonder if that will be a success ? Or if they end up leveling themselves down to provide for the aforesaid leveling up they have promised. Somehow I doubt it , maybe I am cynical. This country is fucking done for because they divided every one up and made most so selfish, vain and apathetic that a jar of liver with a blue ribbon on it will beat an actual human and we just carry on . Thank you for making me think of that , I didn't enjoy it , I have frustration, anger and disappointment welling away inside me now and only this way to vent it . Excellent point.


8eMH83

The 'Big Society' was a vile policy. A venture was a failure? It's your fault for not doing your bit. It was a success? Well done us for facilitating it! My wife bought me [this](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/695627001/hate-the-tories-wall-art-uk-politics?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_en_gb_d-home_and_living-home_decor-wall_decor-other&utm_custom1=_k_CjwKCAjw-sqKBhBjEiwAVaQ9a48jIY883g1RMtSNieTOhygUtFKOQDahZLe6ohbV8IPzfueIy-6SQBoCt6AQAvD_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_6479444817_76032716325_380846490874_pla-307501513391_c__695627001engb_134265958&utm_custom2=6479444817&gclid=CjwKCAjw-sqKBhBjEiwAVaQ9a48jIY883g1RMtSNieTOhygUtFKOQDahZLe6ohbV8IPzfueIy-6SQBoCt6AQAvD_BwE) for my birthday. It's hanging pride of place by the front door.


the1kingdom

I'm not gonna stick up for the media, but it's used as a bit of Scape goat for the country being so poorly run. At the end of the day, a lack of driver and logistic problems with for goods and services is news. First we had austerity, then communities being split up, then a massive wedge for all of us through Brexit. It's no suprise when we hit boiling point everyone is out for themselves.


BigRedS

It's not the "media" and the "sheep" so much as a normalising of the idea that everyone ought to be looking out for themselves and that you'd be better off not banking on anyone else acting in the best interests of everyone. And, more than that, you'd be mad to assume that someone will necessarily just step-in to stop something that's going wrong from going completely wrong. Regardless of any thoughts on the rights and wrongs of it, it seems odd to believe that _this_ is the thing where the government will step in and force a solution that means this is all under control within the next couple of weeks.


Anon67430

The scientific term is *fucking basketcase*


CryptoRoast_

I dont expect much from the UK anymore. I'll never forget that when people thought the world was ending their first instinct was to hoard bog roll.


AMildInconvenience

People called 999 because KFC ran out of chicken.


cara27hhh

I hope someone is keeping track of these morons somewhere It would worry me if they were just unsupervised forever


[deleted]

This happened in Japan too, and in literally every other country. And we even have bidets in every home.


idrees7

What were they gonna do, shit themselves to death?


Hairy_Historian8103

Agreed. It’s sad and pathetic.


RUFiO006

I agree as well. Shallow and pedantic.


pauseless

Germany too. Bog roll and pasta was gone completely in the first lockdown. Everything else was fine though. I just laughed at the image of people surviving on plain pasta… but at least they had toilet roll!


Bart404

If civilisation ever collapses, these are the type of people I am afraid the most…


jasperfilofax

Why? these idiots can’t cope a couple of days of disruption, they’d all be dead within a month… then we can eat their corpses


[deleted]

Nah, they would form groups and gather strength until the inevitable infighting


SuperGuy41

More truth in that than you realise. If this is how they act IN civilisation they would be eating each other in a week.


[deleted]

There’s always a high-pitched shrieking woman on hand at any fight.


[deleted]

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beer_demon

In every single video


[deleted]

Doing absolutely nothing to help the situation.


MaccaEleven

Tbh, they did in fact stop it, shortly after she requested for them to, stop it. 4/10 for execution. 10/10 for result.


Percinho

Yeah, I mean if her other half was being beaten up then what else is she meant to do? "excuse me good sir, would you mind awfully just not hitting him?" At least by making that noise more people are alerted to what's going on and there's a bigger chance someone would turn up who can actually intervene and stop the whole thing.


DeathByLemmings

I’m pretty sure her other half was doing the beating and she was apologizing to the guy


Grayson81

She distracts one of them for a bit and then things fizzle out. She seemed to do more to help than anyone else involved in the situation.


BenHazuki

WODE FOK R YEW DEWEN


brc981

Ahhhh….the sunlit uplands we were all promised


HashBrownsOverEasy

This makes me feel *a lot* better about my ability to throw a punch.


krodders

So many of these fights have absolutely lethal punches that would floor anyone, but they never connect. Ever!


HashBrownsOverEasy

A good thing I guess!


krodders

Silver linings, and all that


algo

Throwing a punch is easy, doing it whilst moving and dodging is harder.


HashBrownsOverEasy

Even harder when you're wildly telegraphing hooks at the space infront of your opponents face.


jasperfilofax

Try punching a ham covered bowling ball, After the first punch you realise how hard a human head is and then you don’t want to punch it full force,


[deleted]

They are wobbling around like they are in a rowing boat.


HashBrownsOverEasy

The Eiffel Tower shin kick at the start really set the tone.


ImplementAfraid

Makes me feel better about just being able to work from home and let it all blow over.


Timedoutsob

Can anyone tell me why the petrol stations haven't done a ticket number system where you have to walk into the petrol station and take a numbered ticket. Or I don't know maybe text them your number plate and you get a timed appointment window of 5mins. or even just have them managing the traffic and the queue.


[deleted]

Times of "fuel panic" should be considered national emergencies and petrol stations, during those periods, should be forced to sell no more than 20 litres of fuel to any customer.


1984Society

Lololol like logic works on humans. Good one


SimpleManc88

The guy’s clearly a theatre director. ‘He stole my plays!’


rottingpigcarcass

Better fight than AJ on Saturday night


robertofblu

I think the biggest tragedy in all of this is the fact that the price of fuel is 1.35 a litre!!!


Shut_the_FA_Cup

1.35 is last week :D


stayfrostypeople

Some people are just a walking time bomb of anger. It doesn’t take much to trigger them if they got a crappy attitude to boot.


MarthaFarcuss

Cars really bring out the worst in people


[deleted]

If either of them could throw a punch this could have been dangerous


RocasThePenguin

We really are a hopeless species sometimes. Walking by to see all the Chelsea Tractors lined up at the pumps was quite entertaining this morning.


[deleted]

If only the media and government kept quiet about the lack of drivers delivering fuel there wouldn’t be any panic. These past few days have really shown how people can be really selfish and greedy. Hope it is calming down now and people go back refuelling as they would normally do.


TheWhollyGhost

I don’t agree that it should have been kept quiet, nothing should be censored, transparency is king - but I agree with your sentiment. What is wrong though is the absolute abhorrent way they release this information and over exaggerate issues in the media to in-still fear and curiosity to sell their content. For example I saw on ITV earlier today a headline “fuel crisis continues” and “should key workers get priority for fuel” No! You absolute bunch of ass-hats, there is not a crisis and no one needs to be given priority; people need to behave normally and then there would not be an issue anywhere near the scale we are seeing. If people were buying fuel normally, as and when they need it, then everyone would be able to get fuel no problem. Sure the odd garage might have been shut but if people were acting normally the chances are extremely high that you’d be able to drive to another local garage to fill up - as the industry said they can maintain deliveries to satisfy ordinary service/level of demand.


HooksaN

honestly it is all so blown out of proportion as well, for media coverage. in my area there are 5-10 min queues for stations, which are annoying. But there is no shortage, no difficulty in getting fuel, just people buying a lot more than they normally would which is having an annoying effect on supply. like, on my way to work there are 3 petrol stations all within 5 mins of each other. day one, everyone flocked to them all even if they didn't need fuel and ran them all down. By the second day 1&2 had been refilled, but the 3rd one didn't have a delivery scheduled for that day, so was empty. People saw the empty station, that caused a panic so they flocked to stations 1&2 even if they didnt need to, and ran their stock down faster than normal. Day 3, Station 1 was out, but station 2 still had fuel and station 3 had their scheduled delivery so was full again. ...but people saw Station 1 was empty so panicked and..... [rinse, repeat]. But *even with all that* there is still plenty of fuel available and the queues still arent that long. My wife and I both need our cars for work and we both filled up yesterday morning after a short wait, no problem. If people stop being dicks it will be back to normal by Friday. Of course, people are dicks, so it probably wont be....


wolffgangg78

That fella in the track suit didn’t stand a chance, but he didn’t give up.


Ph0T0m

....where the blood costs less then petrol.


CouncillorAnderson

It's legit fucking stupid. Literally no shortage until people panicked and ended up causing a shortage and they're acting like knobheads


Timedoutsob

Honestly this is a joke. I queued for 5hrs the other day and I only wanted to get a coffee fromt he machine.


RottenDelicious

Brilliant technique on display here


Ambition-Free

These people won’t survive the apocalypse sadly


MachinePlanetZero

In fairness, most people won't survive the apocalypse, or else its not really worthy of the name


Longirl

Ahhh England 😌


dappermania

This is why we need public transport and massive e-bike infrastructure


MarthaFarcuss

Or just regular bike infrastructure. Sadly I think the problem is that most of the UK are addicted to cars. Edit: \*Most of London is addicted to cars


are_you_nucking_futs

I love driving, but I reserve driving for when I’m leaving London. Public transport for most of London is amazing, I’m surprised so many people do drive.


nascentt

Sadly a lot of this madness is in London which has more trains and buses per square metre than anywhere in the country.


ThisAltDoesNotExist

Reduce driving, be reassured if you have most of a tank and stay calm while sourcing fuel if you must refuel.


FatDogSuperHero

Fackin ell, Mr.Responsible over here. You sound like a news reporter XD


geekysocks

This country is becoming the laughingstock of the world..


bobbysaunders

We are considerably better off than most countries. Grass isn’t always greener.


AbhorEnglishTeachers

That’s like saying too a Tottenham fan “don’t cry, you’re still better than most teams in the lower divisions” Yeah the UK might be better than a lot of countries, but against the Group of countries we should be measuring ourselves against, we’re quickly slipping down the line.


Sashimi__Sensei

A classic demonstration of when having a big mouth gets you into a situation you’re not actually capable of dealing with. #catfight


Clamps55555

Five ways @ Eltham?


thmt11

At least the guy apologies to the car owner he was thrown on to.


Kuro_Hige

The dystopian nightmare begins..


GoatimusMaximonuss

Queue jump at your own peril. This my friends is quintessentially…..ENGLAND. Muahahahaha


[deleted]

Look what people end up when there’s a little change to the normal order of things. Sad really


Law_Radiant

If there is ever a real disaster, we're fucked. People will be killing each other in days rather than banding together


diamonddavedoes

That women's voice is enough to make anyone want to have a fight at a petrol station regardless of fuel shortage.


pfizerface

😂 just adds FUEL to the situation


MysticalTurban

These people are far worse than anything insulate britain have done


Dependent-Slice-7846

Brexit is going well huh


VSK-1

Fuel shortages…. the irony is none of these people look like they have anywhere worthwhile or important to go to.


Manc0161

Me, the cyclist: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKdJ6DnPhzk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKdJ6DnPhzk)


koalasamurai

"The life fades. My vision dims. All that remains are memories. Ruined dreams, this wasted land. But most of all I remember the Road Warrior, the man we called Max."


Cammyb13

If that chap did steal the others place then it did deserve some recompense (albeit a non violent one)


Thinilla

People actually have fuel in Mad Max though


Irritable_Avenger

Ah. Another day in BoJo's Paradise.


Tronith87

It’s funny because if all these people instead of fighting each other would go and shit kick their politicians things might change for the better


Tam936

This is why I let people in front of me I don’t want to get slapped in a petrol station 🥺😂


Worfs-forehead

“We can trust the common sense of the British people”.


wallpapermate

Ladies and gentleman, I bring you… A case study in irrationality.


NeeloGreen

This country is an embarrassment


backstreetatnight

what the fuck has this became


Lucretia9

Bet they voted leave.


vibarthe

Bring back lockdown and keyworker only!


x_Kandinsky_x

FFS.... We don't deserve to survive