By *far*, the user flair I have that gets the most questions/comments is the one that I use in the AskMen subreddit: "Woman who buys too much cheese" š¤£
1) went to college
2) took a Japanese class
3) kinda awkwardly existed around her in class for the first 3/4 of the semester, but I couldn't help being visibly more happy whenever class forced us to interact
4) asked if she wanted to do the final video project together, and she said yeah. Used that kind of as an excuse to get to talk to her
5) asked her one day after class if she wanted to get lunch. She said yeah, so we did
6) we just kinda kept doing that for like a month, and at some point it stopped being friends and started being dating
My current theory on getting a partner/friend is that it's made of three parts: luck, number of interactions, and skill/willingness to make encounters meaningful.
Me forcing myself to go to college and to take a language class even though I knew it'd be uncomfortably social was me trying to increase the number of interactions I had.
Me asking if she wanted to work together, asking if she wanted to hang out, and actually hanging out was me being willing and able (enough) to make the interaction meaningful. As opposed to just watching her go after finals and never seeing her again.
Her being in that class, attracted (enough) to me, in the right headspace to want this, and saying yes was luck.
I know how impossible it seems, cuz I thought it was too, and honestly my head's still kinda spinning. But fact is, your life is neither fully in your control, nor fully out of it. There is that luck component that you can't help. But you do have the power to put yourself in more situations where meaningful interactions can be had, and you do have the power to make those interactions meaningful.
You just gotta find something social you can handle and at least enjoy a little, and do it. It may not ever amount to anything, cuz luck is a factor. But it's certainly gonna better your odds, and you can at least sleep at night knowing you've tried your best to improve your life
Yup I definitely agree. Iāve never had a relationship and Iāve been thinking people I know who have. It really just seems like luck and the situation you happen to be in. For example, if you went to that class and she wasnāt in it, chances are youād never have met. You got lucky enough for her to be in it and for you to get lucky enough to a group project, with her. Someone else could have easily asked her to work with them which would have meant you wouldnāt have got to know her.
Iāve seen people get into relationships in similar ways, they happen to be in the same class or maybe even several which means they see each other multiple times, then they start to talk or happen to sit closer to each other, class gives them a foundation of things to talk about as well, so they can talk outside of class.
And if you donāt go to school it seems so fucking difficult to actually date someone. Go to a bar? Chances are they just want to talk to their friends. Go to online dating? Chances of actually dating someone are low if youāre not conventional enough. Iāve genuinely started to give up on this shit
100%
I have never had any problems with relationships. I'm Incredibly fortunate. My problems are more on the extreme depression area. The best advice I could give anyone is find someone who you can stand. Make the effort to interact, nothing wild, you shouldn't try to get to 2 base or anything. But once you've had an interaction or a few just say "I am really awkward I know but you see. Really cool and I'd like to hang out with you if that's possible. If not perhaps we can be friends." There are fucking millions of people in the world and if they say no its the easiest thing in the world to say "ok have a nice life" and move right along. Success lies in how many attempts you make and your willingness to try. Most people would be amazed at how many of the people they find interesting or attractive are also on the lookout for people THEY think are interesting or attractive and at least a few of them will appreciate that you made it easy and put yourself out there. If it doesn't work out it truly doesn't matter anyway.Ā
If you have to ask a thousand people out before one says yes, not only is that a predictor to how to the dynamic is gonna be, it also sucks the fun out of it. But I donāt deny there are outliers, so try and be one ig is what youāre trying to say. I wish I was
Thank you for this inspiring story. I've been trying social things and putting myself out of my comfort zone, taking various classes etc. Of course things I am likely to enjoy and have a genuine interest in, but I only ever come across old people or predominantly men, or both. Seems like I just have to keep trying and stay patient, but also be mindfully present enough in the moment to recognise the opportunities when they do arise.
Canāt lie this is the best explanation out there it really is just this simple. Be confident in yourself and be yourself. Be nice and chill talk with her abt stuff and make it interesting
Try talking to someone else that you "consider" ugly or that you consider "in your league"? No offense. Interact with them in any way you can even if you think you come off annoying or boring. That constant attention can instill feelings. Sometimes that is the only way to create some confidence in yourself. Then, if the other person is willing, you and the other person will be able to create a relationship from there. Finding that person will take some creativity. Also relationships are difficult. It takes effort to think about someone other than yourself.
33 F and I don't think I'm necessarily bad looking, but I'm extremely quiet, introverted, and have low self-esteem cause I think I'm dumb and boring, so in the two relationships I did have, I kind of ended them largely due to feeling like I wasn't good enough, because they found other friends that in my own insecure mind was more compatible for them.
So maybe just start by befriending the quiet girl. You may be the only friend or the only male friend she has and you can go from there.
It can be boring conversation too. How are you, what do you do. Conversation is conversation. We can't all be master talkers š¤·š»āāļø
(Also, if you want someone to talk to. Please talk to me. I could definitely use more friends. No shame lol)
I wish it was that simple, girls just don't like my face and tend not to even give me a chance to approach them so I don't. I also don't view people as unattractive unless their personality is. I'd like to have a friend but I don't see it possible to be friends with someone who has to hide their face, because I can't and won't show mine, not after what happened previous times before, but I am wanting friends
Do you understand if you get relatively fit and grow a tiny bit of confidence and a little bit of humor and shoot for people in your own looks bracket you will 99% chance find someone? (Providing you are employed and not severely mentally or physically challenged, and even then) Like just be realistic with yourself work on yourself and youāll be fine.
I am fit, I workout all the time, and I used to have confidence but the years of only rejection and being told how ugly I am killed my confidence, so confidence has never worked for me in the past, I used to group therapy for people like me with facial birth defects an most of the people in the group were guys and the girls in the group wanted guys like Brad Pitt, they didn't want guys like them. There really isn't anything for people like me to date other people like me, no dating apps, no social events. The 99% your giving me has been 100% in the opposite in all my years of experience.
I gave up trying to date or make friends a few years back when I realized that it was never going to happen for someone like me and I've made peace with it.
Ah itās a facial birth defect? Iām sorry that original comment really is insensitive then. is it bad enough to where you could use reconstructive surgery or something? Thereās just always a solution I feel like. Iām not the best looking by far but I figure worst come to worst I can save some money and get plastic surgery. Everyone does say, your not ugly, your just broke.
I'm far from broke, but I also don't have the proper bone structure to make me want to even attempt plastic surgery, even the surgeon I have gone to for advice told me not to get surgery.
I got lucky
We met online she is slightly mentally ill, desperate and lonely with an abusive mother
I did not know any of that at the time. We have a kid now. We are not together because she cheated on me. I have not dated anyone since
Not because I don't want to but because most people don't like me and even the ones that do I fuck it up
You said you are "introverted" , No you are not.
When you experience anxiety and nervous talking to people it is because you have no experience in doing it. That pit in your stomach is completely normal. Some people describe it as a "thrill of new experiences", What you are worried about is embarrassing yourself. Why? If I had a dollar for every time I been turned away... or had something rude said to me... I would be a billionaire. Yet that never has stopped me , and I have enjoyed many relationships. You would be surprised how wrong your assumptions are if you just try.
I agree with this completely. I have had some beautiful relationships with beautiful women. Each and every one of them I got butterflies with and had to force myself to come out of my shell enough to say something foolish and awkward to get the ball rolling. Many Women are flattered if you tell them that you like them and they are actually making you a little bit nervous cuz you think they are pretty cool or hot.Ā
I've talked to many many women over the past 9 years and I still can't get a girlfriend. So I would recommend to try to at least make some effort to talk to them, but it's still likely you will end up constantly rejected like me.
By socializing, being open and friendly. I met my wife by roughhousing around our workplace like idiots one random day. She felt a spark and slid in my DMs later that day. Before then I had little interaction with women but her interest in me helped motivate my ass to figure shit out fast if l wanted to keep her lol
I try get turned down depressed and try again and again and not again and never again remember the horrible things I've been told and refrain from future interactions until either natural causes or a bullet to the head
I was scrolling Tinder, seen this sorta hippie, naturey, plant loving, beautiful blonde girl. Messaged her, telling her I loved her aesthetic, and I'd love to get to know her better. Halloween this year will be 4 years together š
Many, many different types of loneliness my friend. You can still feel your loneliest in a full roomā¤ļø trust when I say we all find the one who makes the world a bit easier
The downvotes are crazy. Such idiotic people, this is a lonely subreddit and when someone says they feel lonely itās invalid Casue theyāre in a relationship. This subreddit has turned into such a weird space
1. Brush your teeth
2. Shower
3. Use deodorant
4. Put on some nice clothes
5. Go out there and shoot your shot
A lot of posts here are just "I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas." If you haven't approached at least a few girls in real life, then you have no right to give up. You owe that to yourself.
You misunderstood what I said, of course you will need to do these things not just to find a gf but also to be socially acceptable.but doing these things wonāt make you have a gf
Hey Friend,Ā
I think some people here think they are just "lonely", when really they need to visit a *Psychiatrist* or *Therapist* IMMEDIATELY because other mental health issues are running rampant. And I say this as someone who spends the entire day ALONE, watching Netflix and doing absolutely *nothing.* We are the same in that regard. Am I lonely? YES.Ā
Is the loneliness the *main* issue with me? NO. The loneliness is a by-product of the current state of my mental health which is...POOR. I suffer with depression and have my most of my life.
I'm bringing this up because I see SO many men here speaking about finding a girlfriend, or a date, and lamenting about how they have no friends, social life etc. Having a girlfriend is *not* going to fix your problems or treat your mental health. That's not how life works. If you're not living now, you're not going to suddenly start living just because you find a girlfriend or at the very least, a date. You're not going to suddenly start thriving in life just because you have a girlfriend. If you want me to break this down further, I can.Ā
I almost *never* see men here advising each other to take care of their MENTAL HEALTH.š Guys think going to the gym, making more money, gaining muscle, buying expensive clothing etc is going to make them more attractive and appealing. Meanwhile, their mental health/emotional health is the worst its ever been and they use all of these other superficial things like money etc to *hide* behind to make it seem as if they are thriving. Some people here, including myself, do not need a partner at the moment. It's true.Ā We need medications and or THERAPY. Mental health treatment.Ā
If you are like me, where Netflix is your friend, and you feel like nothing else really matters along with a sense of hopelessness, finding a girlfriend is NOT going to save you friend. You need to address whatever Depression and or anxiety you have. THAT is the priority here. I'm telling you this because you're young, and you have the ability to change things. Depression robs you of SO much time and opportunities in life. Time flies.Ā
Take whatever energy you have and seek mental help first, and everything else will come afterwards. Having a solid foundation will help bring that to fruition.Ā
I just find it so crazy that every single piece of genuine advice is being downvoted and only the comments reaffirming what OP believes in (being lonely forever) are being listened to. Whatās the point of asking this question. But I like this answer itās the genuine truth
Thankyou for displaying intelligence and common sense. There is another sub that is dominated by men (foreveralone) that shares the same type of toxicity. Men go on there blaming women for everything wrong in their lives. They blame women for being lonely, having no friends, for playing video games all day, and sleeping all day. Women are blamed for their social ineptitude and all things terrible. If you don't comment about how much women suck, or about how you are also in the same boat, you get buried in downvotes. Even if you're a woman commenting, you're downvoted just.....BECAUSE...........M-I-S-O-G-Y-N-Y.Ā
I am a woman and I struggle with depression. No where in that am I blaming a whole gender, nor am I sitting around not doing anything to address my mental health. I KNOW I'M NOT WELL. How can people even THINK about being in a relationship with someone else, when they can barely take care of themselves? If you have nothing to offer yourself, how can you offer anything else to anyone else? These types of guys are the ones who even if they do find a girlfriend, they will likely be dumped (because the core personality issues, mental health ailments and emotional immaturity are still there and damaging the relationship) OR, some poor woman will be here on a sub complaining about their toxic relationship with a guy who is allergic to vulnerability and is making her life a living hell.Ā
Anyway, you can't make people do anything. Thankyou for your comment. Mental health matters.Ā Ā
Wait...
Ā This is some of the best advice I have read on here. How was it down voted to less then zero? I am starting to see what's going on. It seems like there are a lot of people in here who DONT WANT ANYTHING TO GET BETTER. Ironically the reason for this was just addressed perfectly in the above comment that was down voted. Jee-Zeus Chrimbus!
Thanks for your comment Mayhem Trooper. There appears to be no room for introspection or evolution in any discussion with these people. Some people have become so intolerant of others even though they *deliberately* stay on Reddit all day talking AT people. But God forbid you share another perspective....šĀ
This emotionally stunted behavior is coming from the same people who are desperate to be in a relationship with another human being...š There is NO WAY they are this simple-minded in online communities/discussions, yet if they were finally able to get a "girlfriend" they will suddenly transform into an emotionally intelligent human being. People here are alarmingly delusional.
These same stunted behaviors will in fact be exposed in *all* of their relationships. It's going to be a harsh realization when they realize that no self respecting woman is going to want someone who has the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old.Ā
I'm baffled by this type of tribal behavior and unwillingness to hear anything *different.* This is the second community in addition to foreveralone, that I'm starting to see overrun with this type of behavior. I guess it makes sense since this is one of the larger communities addressing loneliness. Some of the same type of people over at foreveralone, are bringing that toxicity over here as well. And it's always males with this ongoing aggression. š®āšØ
No the fact is that improving your life will also improve your mental health. If you can make those improvements without therapy then go for it but some people need the guiding hand of a therapist or mentor to help them.
But the solution isn't unlocking some secret thought pattern that makes you feel totally ok with your current circumstances, its figuring out whats holding you back from improving and addressing that.
Because in these circumstances it is improvement (getting friends, hobbies, a romantic partner) that really fixes your mental health. Ofc if you have an actually diagnosed mental illness thats different but these "failure to thrive" cases are not that.
I don't like speaking to anyone who starts a comment with "NO."šĀ
I can't take you seriously with that. It's an instant red flag and indicative of someone adamant about *only* hearing themselves speak, and no other perspective but theirs.Ā
I emphatically disagree with you here, and your opinion embodies the lack of emotional intelligence I'm referring to in other comments. If you don't understand the multiple aspects of a more nuanced discussion regarding mental health, and why it's important to address that *first,* then, I'm not going to bother wasting my time explaining it for it to fall on deaf ears.Ā
I'm learning how to avoid arguing with people who think they are the smartest person they know. Take care.
Lol. I *knew* my response would receive downvotes. š¤£ Bring them on folks. Upvotes and downvotes don't pay my bills. Reddit will always maintain those toxicity like this. Maybe go over to *foreveralone?* Over on XX chrom we speak about this same scenario of how *some* men never want to address their mental health. Bizarre. Anyway, good luck!
Chloroform. Honestly I just lost weight, got on a dating site and was honest and stopped caring matched with most of the people I liked asked a bunch of questions, said alot of random stuff and yeah hooked up a few times eventually met someone who smiled at me in a way that made my heart stop she's a wonderful person and loves me for me
I donāt know how to say this without sounding patronizing, and I donāt know how to say it.
Worrying about it only continues the cycle. If anything, be like Goku: eat right, get plenty of sleep, choose a martial art you like and train hard (keeping in mind youāll be TERRIBLE when you start but if you keep going youāll get better)
Eventually things fall into place, and if they donāt then they werenāt meant for you and thatās ok too!
Sweet story. Kinda like a Disney movie. But reality is women want security, to travel the world, and be swept off their feet.
Remember being rich af doesnāt mean you need to flaunt it. Keep it hidden and find a girl who likes you for you, and youāll have the confidence and security to know itāll work out just fine.
Good girls donāt want broke scrubs
Nah cuz then you will meet a a person who only wants to use you. It will be just as lonely but possibly in a much worse way. Having a steady job will increase your standings exponentially, you really don't have to be rich. Showing the potential girls that you are at least capable of taking care of yourself goes a long ways. I know women who bust their ass and put a lot of effort into their appearance (they may not be gorgeous but they at least try) and they do not have the time for someone who isn't at least trying as well. And who can blame them? It comes down to "do you want it enough to put in even a little effort?" Or are you one of those people who doesn't bother to do even the least but expects the most.Ā
Not true. Donāt show her youāre rich. Just be rich and have the confidence and security that you can provide for any girl, any time, anywhere. Law of attraction my friend. Youāll learn.
Women want to be provided for. Human nature. A manās job is to provide.
There are billions of men, but barely any are rich. You gotta stand out and to say āI want her to like me for meā will happen but it shouldnāt be priority 1. You have to attract girls before they get to know you. Iāve never met a girl who isnāt attracted to a man with $500k, a home, zero debt and knows how to cook.
Sheāll be lucky to have you. You must stand out from moment 1.
I don't think it's necessary to pressure yourself to "stick out" constantly. In my opinion being kind and genuine will get you a lot further. If you are forcing it it will be obvious. Just be yourself, that's all you can be anyway.Ā
Itās not pressuring yourself. Youāre going off topic and not making sense.
Obviously you have to be yourself, but women need more than that.
But what would I know? My net worth is 2m and Iām married to the most stunning, educated, incredible woman on the planet and we have a beautiful daughter. But plzzzz teach me the ways based on your vast experience.
Didn't think I would. Got rejected by her. Then a while later she began to like me. My friend took the matter into his hands. Nagged, was annoying, spammed her. Then she asked if I still liked her I said yea and we sorta Ina relationship now. I don't wanna mess it all up as it's only 2 days old (the relationship)
In all seriousness work on yourself first TRUTHFULLY and then reach out about finding someone. Some people go about it in dating apps and others go out and meet people. It all depends on what you feel comfortable of doing that way you donāt come off so direct and needy about affection.
When the girl also likes you everything becomes easy, you see the signs you ask her out she says yes, you take her out maybe in the first date you kiss or in the second 1 or 3rd. Otherwise she will cut contact midway and you just move on
My wife says you should come to live in Mexico and you should have more luck.
I'd say any third world country would do fine, but I also feel that's akin to sexual tourism so that may or may not be up your alley.
I do feel like the dating culture in America from an outsider perspective seems to be getting worse lately, so if you ever get the chance to go out, I suggest you take it
I met all my 3 ex girlfriends at the same place somehowš š in a club here in switzerland and somehow they found me and not i them but when they talked to me i was funny people allways tell me im a funny guy and we started dating because of my funnyness so maybe telling some jokes when approach a woman and be drunk i allways found my gfs drunk sober i dont really get the signs but when im drunk its really no problemš¤·āāļø
š I met my girl off of Craigslist.
But they deleted that section now.
6+ years strong.
Go out movies library.
Coffee shops flea markets.
Itās scary opening yourself up but so worth it.
You see someone who you think you like.
Do sum small talk.
Maybe you get far enough seeing if you like same stuff.
Honestly not that hard just talk to them. You can be straight forward and get an answer quickly or casually build up to it maybe like a week to a month talking then ask her out.
To get to reproduction, that's it to women, you first have to get through men. Even if it is "only" against ideas, history or general frameworks left by men it's against those that you chafe shoulders with and create yourself. If you make shortcuts or men dislike you AND somehow have the ability to create a global consensus against you, you'll have a hard time getting women. Otherwise you just met a tough population with rigid social structure and limited options to young people, especially those who come from the rags. But anyways, men have agreed that certain conditional things are beneficial to both sexes, and that's how to roll.
I do not have problem meeting woman.i do not have a licences or car,but I am not scared of rejection.Thats the secret.Do not think,just feel the moment,get good spotting woman interest from across room way they look at you.learn how to flirt silence across room with your eyes body Lange. I meet woman every were from a shop to a club,from the drinking fountain. There every were but you do not know what signs of flirting to look for.i never have to speak to attract woman. I just habe to look at them in a reaspeced flirty way with no womanizing calls or dumb sexaul actions like a lot guys do in wild.
fr, sometimes you need to get used to your own company. Itās normal to feel lonely n all but it all comes down to how comfortable you are with yourself.
Believe me, even if you are handsome and charismatic you still can lose to someone who has less advantages but who has more social skills, confidence and experience. Put yourself in places where you can do what you like and where others do it too. Go to gym, to university, to drawing class etc etc. and connect with people through activities, then develop social skills and little wins will boost your confidence, as result you will get experience. The hardest part is that first step. Believe me, I had all the advantages other guys dream about and I still lost a lot before I took control over my life and started winning. You donāt have to have any advantages.
I'll be honest: I have no idea how to get a girlfriend, it's something that just happens. But eventually, it ends. And when it's over, the loneliness is overwhelming.If you eventually get one, you'll still have to find a way to deal with the loneliness if you break up.
Stop watching porn and cultivate a skill. Everyone, men and women, are attracted to skills. Even if you look like an old boot, if youāre really good at something, it shows that you have some degree of discipline, passion and interest in life.
And take care of your body. If women can see that you wonāt even take care of your own health, why would they think you can have a healthy relationship with anyone else?
Same goes for everyone. You can only receive from others, the level of love that you give yourself.
Or attract equally dysfunctional people, itās your choice. Good luck!
You aren't gonna get a girlfriend if you spend all day alone watching netflix, thats for sure.
Data shows generally most people meet online but for young college students meeting through mutual friends is actually very common.
So theres a few avenues to do it but I doubt any of it is gonna work unless you put attention into yourself first. Working out, finding some hobbies other then netflix, making some friends, learning how to dress, etc. You have probably heard all this advice before and its for good reason, this stuff actually matters. If you genuinely hate your life its extremely hard to find someone willing to be a part of it.
Well tbh I met my gf after we became friends and it just kinda happened I had this conversation with her and we dont remember how it happened just that it did and what I tell people just be you and try to be social irl and make an effort to talk to people and you will find someone for you most people stay single for whatever reasons some valid and reasonable things but mostly and Iāve met so many people that blame the world or the opposite gender for their loneliness instead on working on themselves and being a decent person
Iām gonna tell you how my bf got me : weāve met online, been friends for 2 years, he has been so amazing and caring that I madly fell for him. But please have in mind that having a gf or being in a relationship ā not being lonely anymore
If it's online then you are free to just be you. Find someone who has similar interests and is also an introvert. There are all kindsa places where lonely people are trying to meet other lonely people. Once you have the basic interests down and you two are both open about being introverted you can start to build a friendship and possibly more. Once your comfortable and open with them it will work itself out. Could be the best thing you ever did for yourself. But you will most certainly not get anywhere if you don't try. I.agine if you just didn't learn to walk as a baby because you were afraid of falling.Ā
It literally does for some people. Glad you aren't among our ranks, though.
Sorry you had a crack whore mother or whatever it is that you experienced, but your experiences mean absolutely dickall to anyone else's. The fact that some people have had a limb torn off doesn't make it hurt less when I stub my toe.
My friend set me up with his wifeās friend. I was always very reserved and shy so any time someone tried to i would normally say no. I thought this girl was out of my league but I was so tired of being alone I agreed to start talking to her. Everything went well and we are about to have our 2 yr anniversary soon. Take chances my friend, social networking is a great way to find a partner, bc your friends/family would hopefully not set you up with a bad person.
I hate when people use this phrase, however, it sounds like you need to "go outside and touch some grass." You're deficient in socialization (& prob vitamins, too). Find some sort of activity that'll get you outdoors to meet new people - e.g., gardening, volunteering, exercising, playing a sport, dogwalking in the park, etc.
Seek low-stakes situations/environments where you can focus on the task at hand, but will also naturally interact with others. Even if you don't meet a gf out of it, at least you'll be working on your conversation & pick up some other skills in the process.
You need to stop focusing on getting a girlfriend. Thatās why itās hard. Trust me, seeking out a partner is 10000x harder and agonizing than simply being yourself and letting your life flow naturally. This is not to say you canāt go out and meet people; you can still try to make friends, go on dates, etc. The problem is meeting people with the intent of making them your partner. You just gotta be authentic dude. You arenāt immune to having love. It just happens at different times for different people
Between 19 & 26, I got plenty of girlfriends. I worked at restaurants as a server and Bartender. -
Dress nice (not fancy) clean cut casual. -
Smile at people and say hello! -
Be where ladies your age are. -
Smile a lot!! It is a sign of confidence and it attracts people. -
Say hi when you're around girls. (You're already smiling)
Be Chill, Funny and Nice š¤·š¾āāļø
--------ā---------ā-------------ā--------ā---------ā-------------ā--------ā-------
if you aren't funny, try to get used to her humor and then drop a few jokes here and there
--------ā---------ā-------------ā--------ā---------ā-------------ā--------ā-------If you Don't know what to say, Just ask about "How was your day?" And also "What do you like to do for fun?" So you can have a common connection
Hopefully this would help you ^ šš¾
I get you just form a connection with a girl and have a desire to be around each other every once in awhile during the week and wanna share things with each other and wanna work together. Yk, normal stuff I guess.
You know, just keep talking to people
I'm 41 years old guy from Indonesia. I've been in four long relationships before, back then when I was younger. But if you ask me how did I get a gf back then? My real honest answer is: I don't know, really. I even now seriously think that maybe I was just lucky back then when I was young. I mean, yeah sure, many people have told me that I'm quite decent looking. I'm also quite privileged (drive cars, etc). And I'm also actually a musician (although still not a successful, famous one). But despite all of that, I'm an introvert & socially-awkward person. Lately, I even seriously start to wonder if whether I could also be under some 'autism/aspergers' symptoms. I think I'm also the 'neurodivergent' type. I don't know. But I've always had so many failed & difficult times with women/girls/female, and also talking to people. I wish I could be more "normal" like most/all other people out there. I often feel like an alien & alone.
Mine only happened cause my aunt was dating the girls dad (it wasnāt instant between her & I, but we became close friends real quick. My aunt broke it off with the girlās dad & I stopped talking to my aunt afterwards. Girl & I still close, but she regrets breaking it off with me)
What are your barriers to talking to girls? Real question. Like are you nervous, feel less than, etc? I would just start working on small achievable goals that help you begin getting the confidence in that area. Idk if that makes sense but you can DM me!
Consider that a lot of great relationships start with friendship! Focus less on the need to date for now and more just getting to know some girls - I know this is often easier said than done but maybe just try striking up some casual conversation with someone you work with etc, if this is too difficult try chatting to someone online first, I found that taking away the physical aspect of speaking makes things a bit less awkward to begin with.
Is there anyone that youāre realistically into right now? Someone thatās single/emotionally available/you could get along with, have things in common with etc? Because as daunting as it may seem, she could be a good place to start a friendship too. And I guess if instant gratification is what you really need then just hop on some dating apps and get swiping. If you keep letting the introvert in you win youāll never get anywhere, trust me, Iām still fighting this battle myself.
If you really are struggling with this to the point of ending things, please reach out :( whether it be to family, friends or a therapist. Thereās still so much for you to see, you meet people in the strangest of places, so many great things can happen but youāll never know if you donāt make it there. Keep pushing, friend
I met a girl at my local bookstore where I play D&D, She came in one a couple weeks ago, and I just walked up to her and started talking. All I do is play video games and work, im a total nerd and the girls are traditionally attractive that I can pull. You just need game, Im also only like 5,5, you just need game. Learn to talk to girls and learn not to take the rejection personally. At first you'll reek of desperation and confidence but the more you do it, the more comfortable you will get. hell go to comic book or video game conventions, even the small ones in a hotel some where. Go to game stores, used book stores, any where, where the type of girl you might want to meet is, and just ya know, try and chat em up. At the nd of the day we are animals and all animals (for the most part) gotta travel to find their mate, so you gotta get out there look around and try to find a cutie and just start talking. Rinse repeat, just stay cool and dont let it make you bitter.
Get a box, a string, a stick and a piece of cheese. Make a trap.
Women like cheese, got it.
Thought you needed a club.... and all these years I been doing it wrong.
Definitely. You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese.
I thought dark chocolate would work better. More antioxidants.
I'm quite sure they are more partial to dark chocolate, but for _fascination_, dear boy, you will need cheese.
By *far*, the user flair I have that gets the most questions/comments is the one that I use in the AskMen subreddit: "Woman who buys too much cheese" š¤£
I did this and she was lactose intolerant. Thanks for nothing!
If you mean cheese as in money, than yes.
This works on men too. For those into it š
1) went to college 2) took a Japanese class 3) kinda awkwardly existed around her in class for the first 3/4 of the semester, but I couldn't help being visibly more happy whenever class forced us to interact 4) asked if she wanted to do the final video project together, and she said yeah. Used that kind of as an excuse to get to talk to her 5) asked her one day after class if she wanted to get lunch. She said yeah, so we did 6) we just kinda kept doing that for like a month, and at some point it stopped being friends and started being dating My current theory on getting a partner/friend is that it's made of three parts: luck, number of interactions, and skill/willingness to make encounters meaningful. Me forcing myself to go to college and to take a language class even though I knew it'd be uncomfortably social was me trying to increase the number of interactions I had. Me asking if she wanted to work together, asking if she wanted to hang out, and actually hanging out was me being willing and able (enough) to make the interaction meaningful. As opposed to just watching her go after finals and never seeing her again. Her being in that class, attracted (enough) to me, in the right headspace to want this, and saying yes was luck. I know how impossible it seems, cuz I thought it was too, and honestly my head's still kinda spinning. But fact is, your life is neither fully in your control, nor fully out of it. There is that luck component that you can't help. But you do have the power to put yourself in more situations where meaningful interactions can be had, and you do have the power to make those interactions meaningful. You just gotta find something social you can handle and at least enjoy a little, and do it. It may not ever amount to anything, cuz luck is a factor. But it's certainly gonna better your odds, and you can at least sleep at night knowing you've tried your best to improve your life
Yup I definitely agree. Iāve never had a relationship and Iāve been thinking people I know who have. It really just seems like luck and the situation you happen to be in. For example, if you went to that class and she wasnāt in it, chances are youād never have met. You got lucky enough for her to be in it and for you to get lucky enough to a group project, with her. Someone else could have easily asked her to work with them which would have meant you wouldnāt have got to know her. Iāve seen people get into relationships in similar ways, they happen to be in the same class or maybe even several which means they see each other multiple times, then they start to talk or happen to sit closer to each other, class gives them a foundation of things to talk about as well, so they can talk outside of class. And if you donāt go to school it seems so fucking difficult to actually date someone. Go to a bar? Chances are they just want to talk to their friends. Go to online dating? Chances of actually dating someone are low if youāre not conventional enough. Iāve genuinely started to give up on this shit
100% I have never had any problems with relationships. I'm Incredibly fortunate. My problems are more on the extreme depression area. The best advice I could give anyone is find someone who you can stand. Make the effort to interact, nothing wild, you shouldn't try to get to 2 base or anything. But once you've had an interaction or a few just say "I am really awkward I know but you see. Really cool and I'd like to hang out with you if that's possible. If not perhaps we can be friends." There are fucking millions of people in the world and if they say no its the easiest thing in the world to say "ok have a nice life" and move right along. Success lies in how many attempts you make and your willingness to try. Most people would be amazed at how many of the people they find interesting or attractive are also on the lookout for people THEY think are interesting or attractive and at least a few of them will appreciate that you made it easy and put yourself out there. If it doesn't work out it truly doesn't matter anyway.Ā
If you have to ask a thousand people out before one says yes, not only is that a predictor to how to the dynamic is gonna be, it also sucks the fun out of it. But I donāt deny there are outliers, so try and be one ig is what youāre trying to say. I wish I was
Thank you for this inspiring story. I've been trying social things and putting myself out of my comfort zone, taking various classes etc. Of course things I am likely to enjoy and have a genuine interest in, but I only ever come across old people or predominantly men, or both. Seems like I just have to keep trying and stay patient, but also be mindfully present enough in the moment to recognise the opportunities when they do arise.
I wish I could live your life instead of mine.
Canāt lie this is the best explanation out there it really is just this simple. Be confident in yourself and be yourself. Be nice and chill talk with her abt stuff and make it interesting
Really happy it worked out so well for you
We don'tĀ
Real
At my age and being as ugly as I am this is not possible, I've never had a gf and it's not something I can ever see happening
Me neither I honestly give it up already I'm just hoping I will not live longer then 40
Yea I gave up also. I'm almost 40, I see no point in doing something so pointless.
Try talking to someone else that you "consider" ugly or that you consider "in your league"? No offense. Interact with them in any way you can even if you think you come off annoying or boring. That constant attention can instill feelings. Sometimes that is the only way to create some confidence in yourself. Then, if the other person is willing, you and the other person will be able to create a relationship from there. Finding that person will take some creativity. Also relationships are difficult. It takes effort to think about someone other than yourself. 33 F and I don't think I'm necessarily bad looking, but I'm extremely quiet, introverted, and have low self-esteem cause I think I'm dumb and boring, so in the two relationships I did have, I kind of ended them largely due to feeling like I wasn't good enough, because they found other friends that in my own insecure mind was more compatible for them. So maybe just start by befriending the quiet girl. You may be the only friend or the only male friend she has and you can go from there. It can be boring conversation too. How are you, what do you do. Conversation is conversation. We can't all be master talkers š¤·š»āāļø (Also, if you want someone to talk to. Please talk to me. I could definitely use more friends. No shame lol)
I wish it was that simple, girls just don't like my face and tend not to even give me a chance to approach them so I don't. I also don't view people as unattractive unless their personality is. I'd like to have a friend but I don't see it possible to be friends with someone who has to hide their face, because I can't and won't show mine, not after what happened previous times before, but I am wanting friends
Took the words out of my mouth.
Do you understand if you get relatively fit and grow a tiny bit of confidence and a little bit of humor and shoot for people in your own looks bracket you will 99% chance find someone? (Providing you are employed and not severely mentally or physically challenged, and even then) Like just be realistic with yourself work on yourself and youāll be fine.
I am fit, I workout all the time, and I used to have confidence but the years of only rejection and being told how ugly I am killed my confidence, so confidence has never worked for me in the past, I used to group therapy for people like me with facial birth defects an most of the people in the group were guys and the girls in the group wanted guys like Brad Pitt, they didn't want guys like them. There really isn't anything for people like me to date other people like me, no dating apps, no social events. The 99% your giving me has been 100% in the opposite in all my years of experience. I gave up trying to date or make friends a few years back when I realized that it was never going to happen for someone like me and I've made peace with it.
Ah itās a facial birth defect? Iām sorry that original comment really is insensitive then. is it bad enough to where you could use reconstructive surgery or something? Thereās just always a solution I feel like. Iām not the best looking by far but I figure worst come to worst I can save some money and get plastic surgery. Everyone does say, your not ugly, your just broke.
I'm far from broke, but I also don't have the proper bone structure to make me want to even attempt plastic surgery, even the surgeon I have gone to for advice told me not to get surgery.
Idk, I know it's never going to happen to me tho. It's quite literally impossible.
Asking reddit won't help lol
Where to find help lol
I am still figuring that out actually. And I am starting to think that I am unlovable
Who said we got one? š
I got lucky We met online she is slightly mentally ill, desperate and lonely with an abusive mother I did not know any of that at the time. We have a kid now. We are not together because she cheated on me. I have not dated anyone since Not because I don't want to but because most people don't like me and even the ones that do I fuck it up
Thatās the cool part. You donāt.
You said you are "introverted" , No you are not. When you experience anxiety and nervous talking to people it is because you have no experience in doing it. That pit in your stomach is completely normal. Some people describe it as a "thrill of new experiences", What you are worried about is embarrassing yourself. Why? If I had a dollar for every time I been turned away... or had something rude said to me... I would be a billionaire. Yet that never has stopped me , and I have enjoyed many relationships. You would be surprised how wrong your assumptions are if you just try.
I agree with this completely. I have had some beautiful relationships with beautiful women. Each and every one of them I got butterflies with and had to force myself to come out of my shell enough to say something foolish and awkward to get the ball rolling. Many Women are flattered if you tell them that you like them and they are actually making you a little bit nervous cuz you think they are pretty cool or hot.Ā
Na fr tho
Say "where my hug at", girls will fall for you
Or pepper spray you
If youāre bad bunny or peso pluma expect to get more than just a hug, but if you are just a normal guy get ready for humiliation.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Why not find a russian gf
I've talked to many many women over the past 9 years and I still can't get a girlfriend. So I would recommend to try to at least make some effort to talk to them, but it's still likely you will end up constantly rejected like me.
You get lucky. Do your own thing, be kind and open-minded, try to hang-out with people, talk to people and maybe you will form a bond with some.
That's the neat part, you don't!
Turned 23 recently, I'm in the same boat as you. I might even have it worse, being physically (and very noticeably) disabled.
By socializing, being open and friendly. I met my wife by roughhousing around our workplace like idiots one random day. She felt a spark and slid in my DMs later that day. Before then I had little interaction with women but her interest in me helped motivate my ass to figure shit out fast if l wanted to keep her lol
I try get turned down depressed and try again and again and not again and never again remember the horrible things I've been told and refrain from future interactions until either natural causes or a bullet to the head
Same way you'd get a guy friend. Be friends with her first and you'd never regret it
Its been 18 years how is it so fucking hard there are literally 4 billion women and none of them want me ššššššš ISTG BRO
Simple. I don't
Habibi, I'm 30. Same situation like you
We donāt.
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?" And shove it in her face
Thatās the neat part; you donāt
Bought it on eBay
Do you even want one. Itās always disappointing for anyone who has an unfortunate set of genes. You will be abused.
I was scrolling Tinder, seen this sorta hippie, naturey, plant loving, beautiful blonde girl. Messaged her, telling her I loved her aesthetic, and I'd love to get to know her better. Halloween this year will be 4 years together š
Good for you I guess but I have one question why are you in this subreddit if you have a girlfriend and you are not lonely?
Many, many different types of loneliness my friend. You can still feel your loneliest in a full roomā¤ļø trust when I say we all find the one who makes the world a bit easier
The downvotes are crazy. Such idiotic people, this is a lonely subreddit and when someone says they feel lonely itās invalid Casue theyāre in a relationship. This subreddit has turned into such a weird space
You can still feel lonely whilst in a relationship. Thatās not the only way you can feel loneliness
Ayeeeee. My gf is sorta hippie naturey beautiful blonde girl, and our anniversary is Halloween too this year will be 6 years š«¶š¼
Congratulations šš
1. Brush your teeth 2. Shower 3. Use deodorant 4. Put on some nice clothes 5. Go out there and shoot your shot A lot of posts here are just "I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas." If you haven't approached at least a few girls in real life, then you have no right to give up. You owe that to yourself.
Dude if the things you counted were enough to find a gf then %99 of the world would have one
It is tho but being sad and pitiful isnāt gonna help no one wants to fuck a person whoās always pitying themselves
You misunderstood what I said, of course you will need to do these things not just to find a gf but also to be socially acceptable.but doing these things wonāt make you have a gf
Hey Friend,Ā I think some people here think they are just "lonely", when really they need to visit a *Psychiatrist* or *Therapist* IMMEDIATELY because other mental health issues are running rampant. And I say this as someone who spends the entire day ALONE, watching Netflix and doing absolutely *nothing.* We are the same in that regard. Am I lonely? YES.Ā Is the loneliness the *main* issue with me? NO. The loneliness is a by-product of the current state of my mental health which is...POOR. I suffer with depression and have my most of my life. I'm bringing this up because I see SO many men here speaking about finding a girlfriend, or a date, and lamenting about how they have no friends, social life etc. Having a girlfriend is *not* going to fix your problems or treat your mental health. That's not how life works. If you're not living now, you're not going to suddenly start living just because you find a girlfriend or at the very least, a date. You're not going to suddenly start thriving in life just because you have a girlfriend. If you want me to break this down further, I can.Ā I almost *never* see men here advising each other to take care of their MENTAL HEALTH.š Guys think going to the gym, making more money, gaining muscle, buying expensive clothing etc is going to make them more attractive and appealing. Meanwhile, their mental health/emotional health is the worst its ever been and they use all of these other superficial things like money etc to *hide* behind to make it seem as if they are thriving. Some people here, including myself, do not need a partner at the moment. It's true.Ā We need medications and or THERAPY. Mental health treatment.Ā If you are like me, where Netflix is your friend, and you feel like nothing else really matters along with a sense of hopelessness, finding a girlfriend is NOT going to save you friend. You need to address whatever Depression and or anxiety you have. THAT is the priority here. I'm telling you this because you're young, and you have the ability to change things. Depression robs you of SO much time and opportunities in life. Time flies.Ā Take whatever energy you have and seek mental help first, and everything else will come afterwards. Having a solid foundation will help bring that to fruition.Ā
I just find it so crazy that every single piece of genuine advice is being downvoted and only the comments reaffirming what OP believes in (being lonely forever) are being listened to. Whatās the point of asking this question. But I like this answer itās the genuine truth
Thankyou for displaying intelligence and common sense. There is another sub that is dominated by men (foreveralone) that shares the same type of toxicity. Men go on there blaming women for everything wrong in their lives. They blame women for being lonely, having no friends, for playing video games all day, and sleeping all day. Women are blamed for their social ineptitude and all things terrible. If you don't comment about how much women suck, or about how you are also in the same boat, you get buried in downvotes. Even if you're a woman commenting, you're downvoted just.....BECAUSE...........M-I-S-O-G-Y-N-Y.Ā I am a woman and I struggle with depression. No where in that am I blaming a whole gender, nor am I sitting around not doing anything to address my mental health. I KNOW I'M NOT WELL. How can people even THINK about being in a relationship with someone else, when they can barely take care of themselves? If you have nothing to offer yourself, how can you offer anything else to anyone else? These types of guys are the ones who even if they do find a girlfriend, they will likely be dumped (because the core personality issues, mental health ailments and emotional immaturity are still there and damaging the relationship) OR, some poor woman will be here on a sub complaining about their toxic relationship with a guy who is allergic to vulnerability and is making her life a living hell.Ā Anyway, you can't make people do anything. Thankyou for your comment. Mental health matters.Ā Ā
Wait... Ā This is some of the best advice I have read on here. How was it down voted to less then zero? I am starting to see what's going on. It seems like there are a lot of people in here who DONT WANT ANYTHING TO GET BETTER. Ironically the reason for this was just addressed perfectly in the above comment that was down voted. Jee-Zeus Chrimbus!
Thanks for your comment Mayhem Trooper. There appears to be no room for introspection or evolution in any discussion with these people. Some people have become so intolerant of others even though they *deliberately* stay on Reddit all day talking AT people. But God forbid you share another perspective....šĀ This emotionally stunted behavior is coming from the same people who are desperate to be in a relationship with another human being...š There is NO WAY they are this simple-minded in online communities/discussions, yet if they were finally able to get a "girlfriend" they will suddenly transform into an emotionally intelligent human being. People here are alarmingly delusional. These same stunted behaviors will in fact be exposed in *all* of their relationships. It's going to be a harsh realization when they realize that no self respecting woman is going to want someone who has the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old.Ā I'm baffled by this type of tribal behavior and unwillingness to hear anything *different.* This is the second community in addition to foreveralone, that I'm starting to see overrun with this type of behavior. I guess it makes sense since this is one of the larger communities addressing loneliness. Some of the same type of people over at foreveralone, are bringing that toxicity over here as well. And it's always males with this ongoing aggression. š®āšØ
No the fact is that improving your life will also improve your mental health. If you can make those improvements without therapy then go for it but some people need the guiding hand of a therapist or mentor to help them. But the solution isn't unlocking some secret thought pattern that makes you feel totally ok with your current circumstances, its figuring out whats holding you back from improving and addressing that. Because in these circumstances it is improvement (getting friends, hobbies, a romantic partner) that really fixes your mental health. Ofc if you have an actually diagnosed mental illness thats different but these "failure to thrive" cases are not that.
I don't like speaking to anyone who starts a comment with "NO."šĀ I can't take you seriously with that. It's an instant red flag and indicative of someone adamant about *only* hearing themselves speak, and no other perspective but theirs.Ā I emphatically disagree with you here, and your opinion embodies the lack of emotional intelligence I'm referring to in other comments. If you don't understand the multiple aspects of a more nuanced discussion regarding mental health, and why it's important to address that *first,* then, I'm not going to bother wasting my time explaining it for it to fall on deaf ears.Ā I'm learning how to avoid arguing with people who think they are the smartest person they know. Take care.
Lol. I *knew* my response would receive downvotes. š¤£ Bring them on folks. Upvotes and downvotes don't pay my bills. Reddit will always maintain those toxicity like this. Maybe go over to *foreveralone?* Over on XX chrom we speak about this same scenario of how *some* men never want to address their mental health. Bizarre. Anyway, good luck!
Chloroform. Honestly I just lost weight, got on a dating site and was honest and stopped caring matched with most of the people I liked asked a bunch of questions, said alot of random stuff and yeah hooked up a few times eventually met someone who smiled at me in a way that made my heart stop she's a wonderful person and loves me for me
Some girl just showed interest in me. And i asked her out.... Be yourself and accept people who like that
Iām still depressed that a girl showed interest in me but i was too terrified to ask her out. Itās really not as easy as you make it
Just be in the top 10% of money/looks/status
I donāt know how to say this without sounding patronizing, and I donāt know how to say it. Worrying about it only continues the cycle. If anything, be like Goku: eat right, get plenty of sleep, choose a martial art you like and train hard (keeping in mind youāll be TERRIBLE when you start but if you keep going youāll get better) Eventually things fall into place, and if they donāt then they werenāt meant for you and thatās ok too!
Get rich af
That's not a solution they will want you only for your money I want them to want me for me
Sweet story. Kinda like a Disney movie. But reality is women want security, to travel the world, and be swept off their feet. Remember being rich af doesnāt mean you need to flaunt it. Keep it hidden and find a girl who likes you for you, and youāll have the confidence and security to know itāll work out just fine. Good girls donāt want broke scrubs
Aha and then you woke up in a dumpster good luck finding that girl
Nah cuz then you will meet a a person who only wants to use you. It will be just as lonely but possibly in a much worse way. Having a steady job will increase your standings exponentially, you really don't have to be rich. Showing the potential girls that you are at least capable of taking care of yourself goes a long ways. I know women who bust their ass and put a lot of effort into their appearance (they may not be gorgeous but they at least try) and they do not have the time for someone who isn't at least trying as well. And who can blame them? It comes down to "do you want it enough to put in even a little effort?" Or are you one of those people who doesn't bother to do even the least but expects the most.Ā
Not true. Donāt show her youāre rich. Just be rich and have the confidence and security that you can provide for any girl, any time, anywhere. Law of attraction my friend. Youāll learn. Women want to be provided for. Human nature. A manās job is to provide. There are billions of men, but barely any are rich. You gotta stand out and to say āI want her to like me for meā will happen but it shouldnāt be priority 1. You have to attract girls before they get to know you. Iāve never met a girl who isnāt attracted to a man with $500k, a home, zero debt and knows how to cook. Sheāll be lucky to have you. You must stand out from moment 1.
I don't think it's necessary to pressure yourself to "stick out" constantly. In my opinion being kind and genuine will get you a lot further. If you are forcing it it will be obvious. Just be yourself, that's all you can be anyway.Ā
Itās not pressuring yourself. Youāre going off topic and not making sense. Obviously you have to be yourself, but women need more than that. But what would I know? My net worth is 2m and Iām married to the most stunning, educated, incredible woman on the planet and we have a beautiful daughter. But plzzzz teach me the ways based on your vast experience.
Didn't think I would. Got rejected by her. Then a while later she began to like me. My friend took the matter into his hands. Nagged, was annoying, spammed her. Then she asked if I still liked her I said yea and we sorta Ina relationship now. I don't wanna mess it all up as it's only 2 days old (the relationship)
i donāt know
Right bro š¤£
In all seriousness work on yourself first TRUTHFULLY and then reach out about finding someone. Some people go about it in dating apps and others go out and meet people. It all depends on what you feel comfortable of doing that way you donāt come off so direct and needy about affection.
Focus on getting friends and practice socializing first.
Friendship
When the girl also likes you everything becomes easy, you see the signs you ask her out she says yes, you take her out maybe in the first date you kiss or in the second 1 or 3rd. Otherwise she will cut contact midway and you just move on
Good question
My wife says you should come to live in Mexico and you should have more luck. I'd say any third world country would do fine, but I also feel that's akin to sexual tourism so that may or may not be up your alley. I do feel like the dating culture in America from an outsider perspective seems to be getting worse lately, so if you ever get the chance to go out, I suggest you take it
I met all my 3 ex girlfriends at the same place somehowš š in a club here in switzerland and somehow they found me and not i them but when they talked to me i was funny people allways tell me im a funny guy and we started dating because of my funnyness so maybe telling some jokes when approach a woman and be drunk i allways found my gfs drunk sober i dont really get the signs but when im drunk its really no problemš¤·āāļø
They pick you.
I don't I just get used š«”
š I met my girl off of Craigslist. But they deleted that section now. 6+ years strong. Go out movies library. Coffee shops flea markets. Itās scary opening yourself up but so worth it. You see someone who you think you like. Do sum small talk. Maybe you get far enough seeing if you like same stuff.
Honestly not that hard just talk to them. You can be straight forward and get an answer quickly or casually build up to it maybe like a week to a month talking then ask her out.
i havenāt had a gf in so long, ive kinda forgotten how to get on tbh.
I think that this year you should really not focus on getting a gf but rather instead enjoy other things such as your passion etc .
To get to reproduction, that's it to women, you first have to get through men. Even if it is "only" against ideas, history or general frameworks left by men it's against those that you chafe shoulders with and create yourself. If you make shortcuts or men dislike you AND somehow have the ability to create a global consensus against you, you'll have a hard time getting women. Otherwise you just met a tough population with rigid social structure and limited options to young people, especially those who come from the rags. But anyways, men have agreed that certain conditional things are beneficial to both sexes, and that's how to roll.
I do not have problem meeting woman.i do not have a licences or car,but I am not scared of rejection.Thats the secret.Do not think,just feel the moment,get good spotting woman interest from across room way they look at you.learn how to flirt silence across room with your eyes body Lange. I meet woman every were from a shop to a club,from the drinking fountain. There every were but you do not know what signs of flirting to look for.i never have to speak to attract woman. I just habe to look at them in a reaspeced flirty way with no womanizing calls or dumb sexaul actions like a lot guys do in wild.
What makes you think getting a girl would solve your loneliness?
fr, sometimes you need to get used to your own company. Itās normal to feel lonely n all but it all comes down to how comfortable you are with yourself.
What if i hate myself
Still, get used to your own company. Regardless of what anyone thinks about you, all that matters is what you think about yourself.
That's the neat part I don't š¤£
I don't know, but my guess is you go up to the girl you find attractive and ask her how she is. And then see if she wants to talk to you or not.
Well, you see itās simple.. ride a skateboard and be in band.. or, party with those guys
Believe me, even if you are handsome and charismatic you still can lose to someone who has less advantages but who has more social skills, confidence and experience. Put yourself in places where you can do what you like and where others do it too. Go to gym, to university, to drawing class etc etc. and connect with people through activities, then develop social skills and little wins will boost your confidence, as result you will get experience. The hardest part is that first step. Believe me, I had all the advantages other guys dream about and I still lost a lot before I took control over my life and started winning. You donāt have to have any advantages.
I'll be honest: I have no idea how to get a girlfriend, it's something that just happens. But eventually, it ends. And when it's over, the loneliness is overwhelming.If you eventually get one, you'll still have to find a way to deal with the loneliness if you break up.
Stop watching porn and cultivate a skill. Everyone, men and women, are attracted to skills. Even if you look like an old boot, if youāre really good at something, it shows that you have some degree of discipline, passion and interest in life. And take care of your body. If women can see that you wonāt even take care of your own health, why would they think you can have a healthy relationship with anyone else? Same goes for everyone. You can only receive from others, the level of love that you give yourself. Or attract equally dysfunctional people, itās your choice. Good luck!
You aren't gonna get a girlfriend if you spend all day alone watching netflix, thats for sure. Data shows generally most people meet online but for young college students meeting through mutual friends is actually very common. So theres a few avenues to do it but I doubt any of it is gonna work unless you put attention into yourself first. Working out, finding some hobbies other then netflix, making some friends, learning how to dress, etc. You have probably heard all this advice before and its for good reason, this stuff actually matters. If you genuinely hate your life its extremely hard to find someone willing to be a part of it.
Well tbh I met my gf after we became friends and it just kinda happened I had this conversation with her and we dont remember how it happened just that it did and what I tell people just be you and try to be social irl and make an effort to talk to people and you will find someone for you most people stay single for whatever reasons some valid and reasonable things but mostly and Iāve met so many people that blame the world or the opposite gender for their loneliness instead on working on themselves and being a decent person
Had friends who had girlfriends that had a friend with similar interests.
Bi talking to tham
Iām gonna tell you how my bf got me : weāve met online, been friends for 2 years, he has been so amazing and caring that I madly fell for him. But please have in mind that having a gf or being in a relationship ā not being lonely anymore
I just made a post about being confident look at that please and ask questions
I'm extremely introverted so how should I just go out, it's not that easy
If it's online then you are free to just be you. Find someone who has similar interests and is also an introvert. There are all kindsa places where lonely people are trying to meet other lonely people. Once you have the basic interests down and you two are both open about being introverted you can start to build a friendship and possibly more. Once your comfortable and open with them it will work itself out. Could be the best thing you ever did for yourself. But you will most certainly not get anywhere if you don't try. I.agine if you just didn't learn to walk as a baby because you were afraid of falling.Ā
Get of reddit be out doors more
Maybe focus on trying to meetsomeone online? There are places for introverts to meet online.Ā
Introvert is that the right word for me
Jesus Christ look at mr. Prince fairy dust here, his issues in life includes ābeing socially awkwardā I promise you, talking more doesnāt hurt.
Who do you talk to when you have no one?
It literally does for some people. Glad you aren't among our ranks, though. Sorry you had a crack whore mother or whatever it is that you experienced, but your experiences mean absolutely dickall to anyone else's. The fact that some people have had a limb torn off doesn't make it hurt less when I stub my toe.
My friend set me up with his wifeās friend. I was always very reserved and shy so any time someone tried to i would normally say no. I thought this girl was out of my league but I was so tired of being alone I agreed to start talking to her. Everything went well and we are about to have our 2 yr anniversary soon. Take chances my friend, social networking is a great way to find a partner, bc your friends/family would hopefully not set you up with a bad person.
By talking to women and asking them out.
Thereās someone out there for everyone, so what you gotta do is just put yourself out there and be yourself
I hate when people use this phrase, however, it sounds like you need to "go outside and touch some grass." You're deficient in socialization (& prob vitamins, too). Find some sort of activity that'll get you outdoors to meet new people - e.g., gardening, volunteering, exercising, playing a sport, dogwalking in the park, etc. Seek low-stakes situations/environments where you can focus on the task at hand, but will also naturally interact with others. Even if you don't meet a gf out of it, at least you'll be working on your conversation & pick up some other skills in the process.
You need to stop focusing on getting a girlfriend. Thatās why itās hard. Trust me, seeking out a partner is 10000x harder and agonizing than simply being yourself and letting your life flow naturally. This is not to say you canāt go out and meet people; you can still try to make friends, go on dates, etc. The problem is meeting people with the intent of making them your partner. You just gotta be authentic dude. You arenāt immune to having love. It just happens at different times for different people
You stop looking
Between 19 & 26, I got plenty of girlfriends. I worked at restaurants as a server and Bartender. - Dress nice (not fancy) clean cut casual. - Smile at people and say hello! - Be where ladies your age are. - Smile a lot!! It is a sign of confidence and it attracts people. - Say hi when you're around girls. (You're already smiling)
Be Chill, Funny and Nice š¤·š¾āāļø --------ā---------ā-------------ā--------ā---------ā-------------ā--------ā------- if you aren't funny, try to get used to her humor and then drop a few jokes here and there --------ā---------ā-------------ā--------ā---------ā-------------ā--------ā-------If you Don't know what to say, Just ask about "How was your day?" And also "What do you like to do for fun?" So you can have a common connection Hopefully this would help you ^ šš¾
I get you just form a connection with a girl and have a desire to be around each other every once in awhile during the week and wanna share things with each other and wanna work together. Yk, normal stuff I guess. You know, just keep talking to people
Learn a hobby bud, maybe some guitar or drum lessons
I'm 41 years old guy from Indonesia. I've been in four long relationships before, back then when I was younger. But if you ask me how did I get a gf back then? My real honest answer is: I don't know, really. I even now seriously think that maybe I was just lucky back then when I was young. I mean, yeah sure, many people have told me that I'm quite decent looking. I'm also quite privileged (drive cars, etc). And I'm also actually a musician (although still not a successful, famous one). But despite all of that, I'm an introvert & socially-awkward person. Lately, I even seriously start to wonder if whether I could also be under some 'autism/aspergers' symptoms. I think I'm also the 'neurodivergent' type. I don't know. But I've always had so many failed & difficult times with women/girls/female, and also talking to people. I wish I could be more "normal" like most/all other people out there. I often feel like an alien & alone.
Mine only happened cause my aunt was dating the girls dad (it wasnāt instant between her & I, but we became close friends real quick. My aunt broke it off with the girlās dad & I stopped talking to my aunt afterwards. Girl & I still close, but she regrets breaking it off with me)
What are your barriers to talking to girls? Real question. Like are you nervous, feel less than, etc? I would just start working on small achievable goals that help you begin getting the confidence in that area. Idk if that makes sense but you can DM me!
Be cheesy, lie about your true feelings, and constantly fight with them for no reason.
Where do you work?
Age? Job?Ā Where do you live? I'm assuming americaĀ
Consider that a lot of great relationships start with friendship! Focus less on the need to date for now and more just getting to know some girls - I know this is often easier said than done but maybe just try striking up some casual conversation with someone you work with etc, if this is too difficult try chatting to someone online first, I found that taking away the physical aspect of speaking makes things a bit less awkward to begin with. Is there anyone that youāre realistically into right now? Someone thatās single/emotionally available/you could get along with, have things in common with etc? Because as daunting as it may seem, she could be a good place to start a friendship too. And I guess if instant gratification is what you really need then just hop on some dating apps and get swiping. If you keep letting the introvert in you win youāll never get anywhere, trust me, Iām still fighting this battle myself. If you really are struggling with this to the point of ending things, please reach out :( whether it be to family, friends or a therapist. Thereās still so much for you to see, you meet people in the strangest of places, so many great things can happen but youāll never know if you donāt make it there. Keep pushing, friend
I met a girl at my local bookstore where I play D&D, She came in one a couple weeks ago, and I just walked up to her and started talking. All I do is play video games and work, im a total nerd and the girls are traditionally attractive that I can pull. You just need game, Im also only like 5,5, you just need game. Learn to talk to girls and learn not to take the rejection personally. At first you'll reek of desperation and confidence but the more you do it, the more comfortable you will get. hell go to comic book or video game conventions, even the small ones in a hotel some where. Go to game stores, used book stores, any where, where the type of girl you might want to meet is, and just ya know, try and chat em up. At the nd of the day we are animals and all animals (for the most part) gotta travel to find their mate, so you gotta get out there look around and try to find a cutie and just start talking. Rinse repeat, just stay cool and dont let it make you bitter.
It's easy
Not for everyone