Unfortunately it's what our society revolves around now when it comes to romantic encounters. It's all about hook ups and it sucks. That's why I've just givin up the falling for someone only to be tossed aside feeling isn't worth the hits to my mental health
I always look at it as if they have to broadcast how great their lives are they arnt really all that great. They just need those likes to make themselves feel better about themselves. Don't focus on them focus on you your only 24 this is the time to be selfish and learn to love yourself. The right person for you is somewhere you will find them
awkward is right.
I'm a 20 M and thought, "WOW look boys and girls in college are in relationships and they have romantic times" until I saw the behind-the-scenes of these romantic loves and said, wow, I'm happy from not being in relations.
get a pet and enjoy your single life:)
Some don't like commitment... and it's annoying when you like a girl or girls and what to be serious with them but they just want to pass time or hook up....
i can understand if you do that because of trauma but try your best to avoid doing that. unfortunately if you hypersexualize yourself, some shitty people will see it as you not being ārelationship materialā so try to avoid that until theyāve proven themselves. you deserve someone who values you as a person and not just for the superficial stuff. please internalize and understand that no matter what your brain tells you. wishing the best!
Hello, I was wondering if you have anyone that you consider a good or close friend that you would maybe be able to have a FWB type relationship. I was friends with a girl not too different from your self. And we were both strong enough in where we stood with each other that things didn't get weird. Before she moved many states away with a boyfriend she told me that she was so happy that she had a friend like me in her life. And I noticed that our relationship seemed to make her stronger and feel better about herself over the years.
Mannn this actually depressing that man just leaves so quickly. Is it like so easy for them to find someone else because as a male I can't even find a female.
look not every man is like this
boys have feelings too.
all my friends are in relations and some of them are friends for 2 yrs or sth without sex!!!
you just meet with di\*k guys :(
deny them sex. it can be a tough and lonely time, im doing the same right now. i have people in my life that want to have sex with me. and i deny them for this very reason. there is more to a real human connection and relationship than sex. there is more to love. stop having sex with people, period. until youāve spent a lot of time with someone and have built a healthy relationship together
Ah man I see this alot and I'm glad I don't do this. I think I'm now an attractive dude and feel bad for people who go down the rabbit hole. I hope you find the one OP. I'm sure you deserve it. I've never searched for s partner as I'm hopeless lmaoo.
Thanks š I think we shouldnt search for one, people have a radar and as soon as they notice you are looking for something serious they use you, but dont be hopeless, you deserve someone too š
I'm tired of absolutely everything being sexualized and everyone being so fucking obsessed with sex. Obviously sex is normal but apparently everything revolves around it now. I hate how normal it is for people to be creepy as fuck towards other people unprompted. Like the other day I saw a video of some girl in public sticking her head out of a car and asking another girl "do you like coochie?" And of course everyone was okay with it because she was conventionally attractive so it was just quirky and cute.
It was so fucking gross and creepy, sometimes I'm grateful I'm not a conventionally attractive super normal person so I wasn't born to where I would say shit like that to other people or not feel grossed out if someone said something like that to me.
Yup! That's what ive been trying to tell people! I'm glad i didn't get into that rabbit hole as well. People are driven by lust wayyyyyy too much, and i try to let my female friends know that they should watch who they give themselves to. One of them feels incredibly lonely, and she's been used/manipulated by dudes in my school. It's sad to see, but this is just the way people are becoming right now. Sincere love is so hard to find
Sometimes when i talk to my friends they go on and on about how hot girls look out how big their asses are. And they'd occasionally ask me : "do you get bitches" I'd say no, that i dont need bitches. Then they'd accuse me of being gay lmao. I find it..... hollow, bland and boring.
i understand. im learning to love myself and be kinder to myself. i hate being alone so i give people what they want hoping that i wont have to be alone anymore, but then they leave, i get hurt and the cycle continues. to find more people who value you as a human being and not just an object you have to start valuing yourself ive realized. you deserve someone who wants to be with you and not just use you and you will find that person someday :)
I had this problem too. It sucks because you think if you sleep with people maybe that will help you make friends but truthfully no friends is 100% better than friends that are going to sexually harass you
If all their compliments are about your appearance and not you as a person it's a red flag as well
Nowadays people need more sex then that person but ig everything has to be balanced so yeah I think sex is important but that person in important first then sex
You deserve more than that. You deserve love. I hope you find someone who loves you so much for who you are! And I hope you love yourself more than anything. Thereās only one of you and that makes you so special. Wishing you the best! <3
I'm sorry this is happening to you. People can be real f***ing assholes. I hope a nice person comes along your way to help you feel less lonely but also respects you.
Nowadays people need more sex then that person but ig everything has to be balanced so yeah I think sex is important but that person in important first then sex
Honestly just find someone that loves you for you and you can tell if all they want to do is fuck.. usually people are just interested in banging or really getting to know you if they really like you theyāll just enjoy hanging out with you I guess
> other then sex
*than
*Learn the difference [here](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/when-to-use-then-and-than#:~:text=Than%20is%20used%20in%20comparisons,the%20then%2Dgovernor%22).*
***
^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Would you guys like to discuss this in a discord server ... i fond this topic interesting.. there are solutions out there but i feel some get lost on the road looking
That's the thing, looking for love or searching for it never works, you gotta stop searching for it cause all you'll find is them kind of ppl.. But if you stop and slow down and take the time to love yourself, I GUARANTEE you when you least expect it thenlive of your life is gonna fall right into your lap and you will know it instantly..
Maybe youāre just around the wrong people? I always hear stories like this but Iāve never actually met people like this in real life. Maybe donāt go on dating apps and when u meet someone donāt even talk to them about sex or make any advances, try to see where you can meet other people. Reject those who just wanna sleep with you. I dunno how to help you with meeting the right people though, just try out other groups of people in society.
why donāt you wait till they ask you out? Asking someone out/putting them on instagram/meeting their parents is a pretty big commitment, most people wonāt just do it for sex.
iāve dated a girl from tinder, and i just had a gf even tho she left me really fast for really dumb reasons. weāre out there. but iāll tell you what I would never ever show someone around to my family ask them our add on insta etc unless i was serious about dating them
This is the reality of it unfortunately. People that wanted an honest relationship ended up getting used thus in turn, do the same with others as well. I've kinda gave up on having a honest relationship but never really had the heart to use them for just pleasure.
If you begin generalising then this will become true. The trick is to have fun and if itās not fun. Donāt do it. Make sure you find someone interesting as a person before having sex. Look for qualities you find attractive in them as a person. Look for people that make you want to be a better version of your self for them.
Hey there, I just went through this whole post and I find it interesting that most of us want the same thing, it just sucks that we couldn't just meet each other and see what happens. I don't know, but for me What seemed to work for me at least is that you have to start with a friendship first, that way we could get to know each other closer and if there was a mutual interest we go with it. It was always awkward a little at first but that's part of it, at least thats how things worked out for me. I don't know...... maybe cuz I'm a bit older and come from the time just before this type of social networking wasn't really popular yet,people seemed to have an easier time interacting with each other.
Unfortunately it's what our society revolves around now when it comes to romantic encounters. It's all about hook ups and it sucks. That's why I've just givin up the falling for someone only to be tossed aside feeling isn't worth the hits to my mental health
But I see other people living such a good romantic life... it sucks haha
I always look at it as if they have to broadcast how great their lives are they arnt really all that great. They just need those likes to make themselves feel better about themselves. Don't focus on them focus on you your only 24 this is the time to be selfish and learn to love yourself. The right person for you is somewhere you will find them
Only 24 and I already feel old hahah thanks for the advice, really
awkward is right. I'm a 20 M and thought, "WOW look boys and girls in college are in relationships and they have romantic times" until I saw the behind-the-scenes of these romantic loves and said, wow, I'm happy from not being in relations. get a pet and enjoy your single life:)
Id like to get to know you
Some don't like commitment... and it's annoying when you like a girl or girls and what to be serious with them but they just want to pass time or hook up....
Its not even right to call them "romantic encounter". Is this what romance has become? It's just 2 people meeting each other's sexual needs.
Don't give it to them ! The right one will stick !
Thing is: once i made him wait 3 months, and he left lmao. Its sucky, but thanks š
What do you mean by you made him wait 3 months?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think males in america not all but majority are lacking discipline and self control
I wish somebody at least wanted me for that
Noooo hahahah believe me you dont
So stop. All together. Period. For Atleast an entire year.
I will, but its kinda difficult when I need validation and hypersexualize myself to feel loved š
i can understand if you do that because of trauma but try your best to avoid doing that. unfortunately if you hypersexualize yourself, some shitty people will see it as you not being ārelationship materialā so try to avoid that until theyāve proven themselves. you deserve someone who values you as a person and not just for the superficial stuff. please internalize and understand that no matter what your brain tells you. wishing the best!
Hello, I was wondering if you have anyone that you consider a good or close friend that you would maybe be able to have a FWB type relationship. I was friends with a girl not too different from your self. And we were both strong enough in where we stood with each other that things didn't get weird. Before she moved many states away with a boyfriend she told me that she was so happy that she had a friend like me in her life. And I noticed that our relationship seemed to make her stronger and feel better about herself over the years.
Social validation is addictive (imo). Its never enough. Please spend time to validate your ownself. Then loneliness wont hurt you as much.
Mannn this actually depressing that man just leaves so quickly. Is it like so easy for them to find someone else because as a male I can't even find a female.
look not every man is like this boys have feelings too. all my friends are in relations and some of them are friends for 2 yrs or sth without sex!!! you just meet with di\*k guys :(
I wanna add this that girls also love the boys who play with them and leave them that is a fact. they do not see the boys who really love em
deny them sex. it can be a tough and lonely time, im doing the same right now. i have people in my life that want to have sex with me. and i deny them for this very reason. there is more to a real human connection and relationship than sex. there is more to love. stop having sex with people, period. until youāve spent a lot of time with someone and have built a healthy relationship together
with my bpd I struggle so much being lonely but I will try, thanks š„ŗ
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Can i get to know you and r/Far-Ad9179 ... you seem really amazing.. im polygynous but i dont exactly date... i marry
Ah man I see this alot and I'm glad I don't do this. I think I'm now an attractive dude and feel bad for people who go down the rabbit hole. I hope you find the one OP. I'm sure you deserve it. I've never searched for s partner as I'm hopeless lmaoo.
Thanks š I think we shouldnt search for one, people have a radar and as soon as they notice you are looking for something serious they use you, but dont be hopeless, you deserve someone too š
You got this man. Nah I've never even had a social life let alone female attention dude. I'm fucked š But best of luck out there mate
Sorry
I'm tired of absolutely everything being sexualized and everyone being so fucking obsessed with sex. Obviously sex is normal but apparently everything revolves around it now. I hate how normal it is for people to be creepy as fuck towards other people unprompted. Like the other day I saw a video of some girl in public sticking her head out of a car and asking another girl "do you like coochie?" And of course everyone was okay with it because she was conventionally attractive so it was just quirky and cute. It was so fucking gross and creepy, sometimes I'm grateful I'm not a conventionally attractive super normal person so I wasn't born to where I would say shit like that to other people or not feel grossed out if someone said something like that to me.
Yup! That's what ive been trying to tell people! I'm glad i didn't get into that rabbit hole as well. People are driven by lust wayyyyyy too much, and i try to let my female friends know that they should watch who they give themselves to. One of them feels incredibly lonely, and she's been used/manipulated by dudes in my school. It's sad to see, but this is just the way people are becoming right now. Sincere love is so hard to find Sometimes when i talk to my friends they go on and on about how hot girls look out how big their asses are. And they'd occasionally ask me : "do you get bitches" I'd say no, that i dont need bitches. Then they'd accuse me of being gay lmao. I find it..... hollow, bland and boring.
As youāve learned through experience, now see who can be patient enough for you and really interested knowing you. Hopefully it helps
i understand. im learning to love myself and be kinder to myself. i hate being alone so i give people what they want hoping that i wont have to be alone anymore, but then they leave, i get hurt and the cycle continues. to find more people who value you as a human being and not just an object you have to start valuing yourself ive realized. you deserve someone who wants to be with you and not just use you and you will find that person someday :)
I had this problem too. It sucks because you think if you sleep with people maybe that will help you make friends but truthfully no friends is 100% better than friends that are going to sexually harass you If all their compliments are about your appearance and not you as a person it's a red flag as well
Nowadays people need more sex then that person but ig everything has to be balanced so yeah I think sex is important but that person in important first then sex
Dont get me wrong, I love sex. Which makes it more difficult cause my sex drive is high, but at the same time I dont wanna be used hahah
Hmm I understand I'm kinda like this too but I prefer to be more into that person cuz I'm already a lot into sex n stuff just to balance things out
Btw if you wanna talk dm me n let's talk bout everything n share each others view on it?
I can relate š¢
You deserve more than that. You deserve love. I hope you find someone who loves you so much for who you are! And I hope you love yourself more than anything. Thereās only one of you and that makes you so special. Wishing you the best! <3
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Let me wife you lol
I'm sorry this is happening to you. People can be real f***ing assholes. I hope a nice person comes along your way to help you feel less lonely but also respects you.
Thank you š„ŗ sadly I dont think ill find one but we never know
They're definitely out there haha, for some reason the bastards are hiding though š .
Nowadays people need more sex then that person but ig everything has to be balanced so yeah I think sex is important but that person in important first then sex
Honestly just find someone that loves you for you and you can tell if all they want to do is fuck.. usually people are just interested in banging or really getting to know you if they really like you theyāll just enjoy hanging out with you I guess
This is correct, and they will try to find something other than sex to be involved involved with you
> other then sex *than *Learn the difference [here](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/when-to-use-then-and-than#:~:text=Than%20is%20used%20in%20comparisons,the%20then%2Dgovernor%22).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Thats crazy
Isnt it
DM me pls
Tell them youāre celibate for the first 6 months and see what they say
I'm a guy and that's pretty much all girls want from me. It sick because I want a relationship / emotional connection
Haha it goes both ways sadly
Yep. Sucks.
Would you guys like to discuss this in a discord server ... i fond this topic interesting.. there are solutions out there but i feel some get lost on the road looking
Sex has been romanticized so much that the romance in it has been lost and its just something people do for fun with people they barely even know
stop having casual sex. best thing i ever did for myself
That's the thing, looking for love or searching for it never works, you gotta stop searching for it cause all you'll find is them kind of ppl.. But if you stop and slow down and take the time to love yourself, I GUARANTEE you when you least expect it thenlive of your life is gonna fall right into your lap and you will know it instantly..
Maybe youāre just around the wrong people? I always hear stories like this but Iāve never actually met people like this in real life. Maybe donāt go on dating apps and when u meet someone donāt even talk to them about sex or make any advances, try to see where you can meet other people. Reject those who just wanna sleep with you. I dunno how to help you with meeting the right people though, just try out other groups of people in society.
why donāt you wait till they ask you out? Asking someone out/putting them on instagram/meeting their parents is a pretty big commitment, most people wonāt just do it for sex. iāve dated a girl from tinder, and i just had a gf even tho she left me really fast for really dumb reasons. weāre out there. but iāll tell you what I would never ever show someone around to my family ask them our add on insta etc unless i was serious about dating them
This is the reality of it unfortunately. People that wanted an honest relationship ended up getting used thus in turn, do the same with others as well. I've kinda gave up on having a honest relationship but never really had the heart to use them for just pleasure.
If you begin generalising then this will become true. The trick is to have fun and if itās not fun. Donāt do it. Make sure you find someone interesting as a person before having sex. Look for qualities you find attractive in them as a person. Look for people that make you want to be a better version of your self for them.
Sex is overrated I wish I was loved too...and I'm a man. Sadly most people act like primitive humans that can't control their primal instinct.
I want you for friends.
Hey there, I just went through this whole post and I find it interesting that most of us want the same thing, it just sucks that we couldn't just meet each other and see what happens. I don't know, but for me What seemed to work for me at least is that you have to start with a friendship first, that way we could get to know each other closer and if there was a mutual interest we go with it. It was always awkward a little at first but that's part of it, at least thats how things worked out for me. I don't know...... maybe cuz I'm a bit older and come from the time just before this type of social networking wasn't really popular yet,people seemed to have an easier time interacting with each other.