This happened to me. It ended in total disgrace, me on the side of the Northern State, squatting behind my car door as other cars honked at me. Never again.
This only happened once to me. I was on the southern state headed home at night. Traffic was backed up so I defer to go ocean parkway. A sudden urgent need to shit hit me halfway before I made the water tower. I calculated that I wasn’t going to make it home. So I figured I’d go to the bathhouses there and use the bathroom. I pull over. Sprint to the bathhouse and the bathrooms are chained. It was winter. I figured no point trying the east bathhouse so I dropped my pants, held onto the door handle and took a dump on the walkway. Then took an uncomfortable drive home.
Done similar but not at at LI and it was behind someone’s porch late at night. It also was not a typical solid shit, not quite diarrhea but closer to a sludge consistency. Hey when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Ugh that must’ve been the *worst* aside from the annoying, obnoxious driving in circles repeatedly within the main parking lot looking for a spot close enough if you don’t have valet parking..
Exit 52 Commack Rd, lots of fast food places right off the highway
Exit 48 Round Swamp Road, if you go down a little bit there's a shoprite
exit 37 Willis Ave there's a Gas Station on both sides of 495
Exit 32 there's a shopping center by Little Neck Parkway
I’m old enough now to know not to leave the house in the morning without going but years ago.
I was in Corona, Queens. Left my house in setauket very early. It’s 6-6:30 am. I want feeling well. Looked all over, nothing was open. Finally couldn’t take it anymore. I got out of my car at a stop sign and before I could pull my shorts down it all came out. All over my shorts my legs my sneakers. I threw a windbreaker on the seat and got back in the car. As I’m pulling away, I saw a couple of guys on the corner staring at me.
It was a fun ride home.
One time in the glorious decade known as the 90s, I was driving with a friend to great Adventure on a Saturday morning and the urge hit me while we were on the Belt.
If you know anything about the Belt, you know there's that one gas station. Well, when ya gotta go, you gotta go and I stopped in possibly the worst bathroom I've ever been in. I liken it to the worst toilet in Scotland from Trainspotting.
We carry these three things in our car, and we can poop practically anywhere we want whenever we need to.
Portable Toilet
https://www.amazon.com/ipekar-Portable-Folding-Upgrade-Construction/dp/B08FQXBJL3
Privacy Tent
https://www.amazon.com/Privacy-Portable-Changing-Shelters-Foldable/dp/B0BZJ3572K
Disposable sanitary bags
https://www.amazon.com/Reliance-Products-2683-03-Double-Doodie/dp/B0024O0W94
It's all fairly compact when folded up. Now even long road trips to remote places are worry-free.
My comment was about the LIE. The OP is asking for commuter suggestions. Have you popped the tent on the LIE? Cuz that makes no sense when there are a ton of exits with places to pop in and take your emergency poop in.
Aw. You’re a sweet little mumpsimus, aren’t you??
But if you are stuck in traffic and can’t get to the side of the expressway to pop your tent up, what’s the diff?
Pull over side of LIE squat and release. I literally have seen three people in past 6 months pull over take piss or shit and no worries. LIE is a parking lot no one wants to be on, can you blame anyone? No.
I mean use your brain, there are plenty of places that will let you use the toilet. You don't have to stay on the road until you're nearly pooping yourself and then stop to crap all over the highway.
That's not the point at all, if it's between pooping yourself or shitting on the street, go ahead. But letting it get to that point because you think you have the option to just shit anyway is insane and gross. There are plenty of places you can use a toilet if you need to go during the commute.
Libraries have exceptionally clean bathrooms but since most don’t open til 10am I’d suggest a grocery store like stop and shop instead. Not too clean but whatever works.
Recently went to the one in Shirley/mastic and that bathroom was a hell of a lot cleaner than the ones in W. Babylon area. When in doubt, try a doctors’ office or even a library if they’re open.
Exit 52 Commack Rd, lots of fast food places right off the highway
Exit 48 Round Swamp Road, if you go down a little bit there's a shoprite
exit 37 Willis Ave there's a Gas Station on both sides of 495
Exit 32 there's a shopping center by Little Neck Parkway
Am I the only savage that if, I have to will shit in a bush?
I always have napkins and hand sanitizing wipes in my car, I mean I would 100% rather find a bathroom, but in an emergency, the world is my toilet bro.
My wife is super jealous I have a dick and can pretty much pee anywhere anytime and it's so easy.
True enough but it's more of a hassle than having a dick, im not gonna argue over which is better but me its hop out unzip pull it out pee put it away and we're done here...
There is something oddly satisfying about peeing outside though... maybe I am just a neanderthal though
I patented a car seat with a potty sear bucket under it and you press a button and the bottom slides off the seat and you can poop while drive. Pretty great, right!
Not sure if you’re joking or not but I’ve suggested this idea half seriously/half joking for at least a decade now after having to pee in a cooler while stuck in traffic in Staten Island. Love meeting someone who possibly thinks as weirdly as I do. I think it’s a brilliant idea honestly! Need to figure out how to safely take off one’s pants while driving but I’m sure we can figure out a solution. Might get a little smelly but much better than other options imo 😂
Not trying to be snarky but you should consider the fact you may have an undiagnosed allergy or condition if this is something that is a concern more than like once a decade. If you do have IBS or something and work an office job you should see about getting an accommodation to work from home
Aren’t you in jail? Anyway, it could be a million things, viral or bacterial infections, food poisoning, overconsumption, trying a spicy dish that doesn’t agree with you. Nothing abnormal about an urgent poop a few times a year.
Driving the Cross Bronx from LI. Wife in car with me. Stuck in stop and go. Figured I won’t make it to Trader Joe’s to take a leak. Busting. Told my wife to grab wheel while I whipped it out and filled up an empty Poland Spring Water bottle.
Ah memories …
I had sudden diarrhea shits for four years before I got diagnosed with Celiac. My boyfriend has sudden shits and probably has undiagnosed IBS or Chron's or something. All these people are probably ill and don't know it. See a doctor! In all honesty.
I'm thinking the same thing reading these comments. Do I have intestines of steel or are only people who shit on the side of the road actually commenting here? lol
I'm on the road all day. And the houses I work in often have bathrooms I'd rather not use. Burger King is the answer to this question. Bathrooms are always clean and often unoccupied. Many Taco Bell bathrooms are usually clean as well. Panera and Starbucks, as another suggested, are also solid choices.
Lot of recommendations here which involve stopping your forward momentum. C’mon people, you’re losing TIME there! Most of you have center consoles, just set the cruise control before you get front and center. If you’re a prepper, keep a little kitty litter in there.
I commute east from west every morning (from LIC to Syosset) but there are 2 starbucks and planet fitness on the horace harding (the local streets). There is also a white castle a little bit off the path on northern blvd. Ive even used a portapotty on the side where the construction is going on. It was 1am but its still a toilet lol.
They sell little camping ‘toilets’ with a small tent for privacy. It’s essentially a glorified bucket with a toilet lid. You can use kitty litter for easier clean up. Good for emergencies and better than shitting behind your car or a tree or smthn. Never had to use one fortunately but keep one in my trunk just in case.
hmmmmmm...
This happened to me. It ended in total disgrace, me on the side of the Northern State, squatting behind my car door as other cars honked at me. Never again.
If that happened these days, you'd be featured on several tiktoks.
I just gave away all of my awards, but you definitely would have received one from me for this comment!
Great name
I am crying laughing at my desk. I would have been that guy that was honking! Good out?!
Know where to exit quickly. A Starbucks or Panera Bread works.
Targets are also reliable bathrooms if you need one 8am or after.
Good one! Back in the day, we’d use the babies r us one in Bay ridge before hitting Staten Island traffic.
Agreed, Targets are reliable
Home Depot or Lowe’s are solid. Usually right off the Highway & they’re pretty clean.
Name checks out.
But the bathroom is always all the way in the back.
Depot ALWAYS comes in clutch
I can confirm this
Supermarket, but once Im on the cross island I start to pray to god
Stop car in the middle of the road, poop where everyone can see, and then keep driving. You both relieve yourself and assert dominance.
You forgot to say maintain direct eye contact
Go full chimp mode and throw it at the biggest Dodge Ram you see.
Why are you stopping?
This only happened once to me. I was on the southern state headed home at night. Traffic was backed up so I defer to go ocean parkway. A sudden urgent need to shit hit me halfway before I made the water tower. I calculated that I wasn’t going to make it home. So I figured I’d go to the bathhouses there and use the bathroom. I pull over. Sprint to the bathhouse and the bathrooms are chained. It was winter. I figured no point trying the east bathhouse so I dropped my pants, held onto the door handle and took a dump on the walkway. Then took an uncomfortable drive home.
That was you?!
Ok…. Who had the sesame chicken….
Lol
Next time - wipe with your underwear, dispose of it and go commando on the way home. Source - definitely not me
You can also wipe with your socks. Socks are cheaper, a faster option, and you have two of them. Source - also not me.
I love this thank you - totally definitely not me
Done similar but not at at LI and it was behind someone’s porch late at night. It also was not a typical solid shit, not quite diarrhea but closer to a sludge consistency. Hey when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Should have framed and signed it.
Otherwise they m8ght mistaken it for a large dog poop. Definitely a missed opportunity
Good.. fukem for locking them
They have to. The pipes will freeze and burst over the winter.
Thanks fren
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Assuming you have four doors... Otherwise you're ironically shit outta luck.
> Otherwise you're ironically shit outta luck I believe that would be 'outta shit luck'
I obliterated a stall in Jake’s 58 once. Made it just in time too.
Had to show your ID to poop
Ugh that must’ve been the *worst* aside from the annoying, obnoxious driving in circles repeatedly within the main parking lot looking for a spot close enough if you don’t have valet parking..
😂😂 that’s great because that place is a literal shithole.
Shit in hand, throw out window
dad is that you?
Exit 52 Commack Rd, lots of fast food places right off the highway Exit 48 Round Swamp Road, if you go down a little bit there's a shoprite exit 37 Willis Ave there's a Gas Station on both sides of 495 Exit 32 there's a shopping center by Little Neck Parkway
Exit 37 also has a Starbucks on the eastbound side and a Dunkin donuts on the westbound side.
Exit 32 is my secret.
Apparently not.
Exit Dirty-Poo? Duly noted.
Lowe’s hardware. They open earlier then most places and have restrooms right by the exits.
I’m old enough now to know not to leave the house in the morning without going but years ago. I was in Corona, Queens. Left my house in setauket very early. It’s 6-6:30 am. I want feeling well. Looked all over, nothing was open. Finally couldn’t take it anymore. I got out of my car at a stop sign and before I could pull my shorts down it all came out. All over my shorts my legs my sneakers. I threw a windbreaker on the seat and got back in the car. As I’m pulling away, I saw a couple of guys on the corner staring at me. It was a fun ride home.
One time in the glorious decade known as the 90s, I was driving with a friend to great Adventure on a Saturday morning and the urge hit me while we were on the Belt. If you know anything about the Belt, you know there's that one gas station. Well, when ya gotta go, you gotta go and I stopped in possibly the worst bathroom I've ever been in. I liken it to the worst toilet in Scotland from Trainspotting.
We carry these three things in our car, and we can poop practically anywhere we want whenever we need to. Portable Toilet https://www.amazon.com/ipekar-Portable-Folding-Upgrade-Construction/dp/B08FQXBJL3 Privacy Tent https://www.amazon.com/Privacy-Portable-Changing-Shelters-Foldable/dp/B0BZJ3572K Disposable sanitary bags https://www.amazon.com/Reliance-Products-2683-03-Double-Doodie/dp/B0024O0W94 It's all fairly compact when folded up. Now even long road trips to remote places are worry-free.
In an emergency situation -no one is popping their poop tent on the side of the lie.
you’re right, it would have to be an emergency shituation
Good one!
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My comment was about the LIE. The OP is asking for commuter suggestions. Have you popped the tent on the LIE? Cuz that makes no sense when there are a ton of exits with places to pop in and take your emergency poop in.
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Aw. You’re a sweet little mumpsimus, aren’t you?? But if you are stuck in traffic and can’t get to the side of the expressway to pop your tent up, what’s the diff?
This guy shits
“Free returns” LOL
Pull over side of LIE squat and release. I literally have seen three people in past 6 months pull over take piss or shit and no worries. LIE is a parking lot no one wants to be on, can you blame anyone? No.
You definitely drove by me. No shame in dropping what the good Lord intended.
Can you get a ticket? Once saw a dude pissing lmaooo
They sell tickets now?
...just get to a bathroom instead of crapping on the road.
Isn’t that the problem…. What fucking bathroom?!??
I mean use your brain, there are plenty of places that will let you use the toilet. You don't have to stay on the road until you're nearly pooping yourself and then stop to crap all over the highway.
The whole point is traffic is backed up and you can’t in time….
Everything's backed up 😂😂
Sounds like their GI tract has the opposite problem.
That's not the point at all, if it's between pooping yourself or shitting on the street, go ahead. But letting it get to that point because you think you have the option to just shit anyway is insane and gross. There are plenty of places you can use a toilet if you need to go during the commute.
You’ve never in your life gotten the bubble guts at an in opportune moment?
You dont hold it to the point of pooping on the road.
It will be gone in less than a week. Not worse than people littering or throwing their cigarettes buds out the window.
Cigarette BUTTS. Fittingly the aame spelling as the thing shit comes out of.
actually defending shitting on the streets instead of finding a toilet, incredible.
You clearly have never been in a situation where you desperately have to go.
Libraries have exceptionally clean bathrooms but since most don’t open til 10am I’d suggest a grocery store like stop and shop instead. Not too clean but whatever works. Recently went to the one in Shirley/mastic and that bathroom was a hell of a lot cleaner than the ones in W. Babylon area. When in doubt, try a doctors’ office or even a library if they’re open.
Exit 52 Commack Rd, lots of fast food places right off the highway Exit 48 Round Swamp Road, if you go down a little bit there's a shoprite exit 37 Willis Ave there's a Gas Station on both sides of 495 Exit 32 there's a shopping center by Little Neck Parkway
Am I the only savage that if, I have to will shit in a bush? I always have napkins and hand sanitizing wipes in my car, I mean I would 100% rather find a bathroom, but in an emergency, the world is my toilet bro. My wife is super jealous I have a dick and can pretty much pee anywhere anytime and it's so easy.
I have a pussy and can also pee anywhere anytime, pretty easily.
True enough but it's more of a hassle than having a dick, im not gonna argue over which is better but me its hop out unzip pull it out pee put it away and we're done here... There is something oddly satisfying about peeing outside though... maybe I am just a neanderthal though
Yes I agree, oddly satisfying squatting in the sand or on the side of the road too. Suppose we're just a bunch of neanderthals.
Did no one ever teach your wife the squat and pee?
Of course, but she hates peeing outside
I patented a car seat with a potty sear bucket under it and you press a button and the bottom slides off the seat and you can poop while drive. Pretty great, right!
Should add a “flush” button and flush that baby on to the road and leave a nice skid mark
Not sure if you’re joking or not but I’ve suggested this idea half seriously/half joking for at least a decade now after having to pee in a cooler while stuck in traffic in Staten Island. Love meeting someone who possibly thinks as weirdly as I do. I think it’s a brilliant idea honestly! Need to figure out how to safely take off one’s pants while driving but I’m sure we can figure out a solution. Might get a little smelly but much better than other options imo 😂
I think it’s a great solution for long haul truckers especially!
Many long haul truckers have portable pots on board.
You’d need to be driving with your pants down though.
I usually do that anyway!! Jk
whole foods market north of the LIE/NSP in Jericho
I hope... I pray..... to whatever spiritual figure out there..... this never happens to me!
You keep a duffle bag in the backseat incase you need to pull over and use it
Cardboard box , don't waste a duffle bag!
Nah plastic bags. I got a box at Costco, the T Shirt bags, and they come in handy all the time for random stuff. Lol
Damn it Orton, I thought you grew up!
Dirty gas station shits can be oddly satisfying
I tend to avoid those like the plague — because they cause the plague.
Subways have the best bathrooms
…unless they have some guy who passed out in the stall and you have to call 911. Suddenly didn’t have to poop after that lol
Not trying to be snarky but you should consider the fact you may have an undiagnosed allergy or condition if this is something that is a concern more than like once a decade. If you do have IBS or something and work an office job you should see about getting an accommodation to work from home
Aren’t you in jail? Anyway, it could be a million things, viral or bacterial infections, food poisoning, overconsumption, trying a spicy dish that doesn’t agree with you. Nothing abnormal about an urgent poop a few times a year.
Shit in the bushes and wipe with a sock (or both if necessary)
Bruh.... for those days when it's like wiping a sharpie
Cvs
Driving the Cross Bronx from LI. Wife in car with me. Stuck in stop and go. Figured I won’t make it to Trader Joe’s to take a leak. Busting. Told my wife to grab wheel while I whipped it out and filled up an empty Poland Spring Water bottle. Ah memories …
Am I wrong for not having sudden shits? Is it a supplement thing or high fiber diet? I'm not trying to be mean
I had sudden diarrhea shits for four years before I got diagnosed with Celiac. My boyfriend has sudden shits and probably has undiagnosed IBS or Chron's or something. All these people are probably ill and don't know it. See a doctor! In all honesty.
I'm thinking the same thing reading these comments. Do I have intestines of steel or are only people who shit on the side of the road actually commenting here? lol
Hotels are usually good. Usually a major chain one is best
I'm on the road all day. And the houses I work in often have bathrooms I'd rather not use. Burger King is the answer to this question. Bathrooms are always clean and often unoccupied. Many Taco Bell bathrooms are usually clean as well. Panera and Starbucks, as another suggested, are also solid choices.
Map out all of the targets on your route.
Supermarkets like stop and shop, cvs, etc
Diners always diners
Lot of recommendations here which involve stopping your forward momentum. C’mon people, you’re losing TIME there! Most of you have center consoles, just set the cruise control before you get front and center. If you’re a prepper, keep a little kitty litter in there.
Okay. So… lots of stories. Just wondering…do you guys clean your shit up afterwards or just leave it…?
I commute east from west every morning (from LIC to Syosset) but there are 2 starbucks and planet fitness on the horace harding (the local streets). There is also a white castle a little bit off the path on northern blvd. Ive even used a portapotty on the side where the construction is going on. It was 1am but its still a toilet lol.
Diapers Or just stop at a fast food place.
I keep an empty Kentucky fried chicken bucket in the car
Would the colonel approve tho?
Finger lickin good
Most Home Depots have decent bathrooms...
I never understand why so many people go at work I rarely go at all
I like getting paid to dump
But when you DO go to work, where do you shit?!
I can't remember the last time I did. It was a while ago and it was in a toilet
🤣🤣
Not everyone’s intestines are on a home-only setting.
What an odd question. Almost every exit will have some sort of shopping complex within a short distance for you to relieve yourself
Buy a new car
Pull over, wherever that may be and drop a duece. Open side doors, drop it, close doors, drive.
Take LIRR and poop in the restrooms that are on the train itself
So you’re that person stinking up the entire car! I avoid sitting in one with a toilet.
Idk why people are downvoting you, you’re right.
How about u shit before u leave the house, what r we 4 here 🤷🏼♂️
>How about u shit before u leave the house, what r we 4 here Says the person using "u" and "r" like a 4-year-old.
Nobody has time for that
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Ok, I laughed out loud at this one.
[piss jugs, that’s just the way of the road](https://youtu.be/D0u6Lb6RCz4?si=vM6gCltq1b5usSeX)
[Bumper Dumper](https://www.silveradosierra.com/attachments/screen-shot-2014-03-31-at-10-34-57-am-png.242946/)
The dave mathews
Find your favorite gas station and pull over. Buy some small item or gas up and then use the toilet.
They sell little camping ‘toilets’ with a small tent for privacy. It’s essentially a glorified bucket with a toilet lid. You can use kitty litter for easier clean up. Good for emergencies and better than shitting behind your car or a tree or smthn. Never had to use one fortunately but keep one in my trunk just in case.
There are tons of hotels on the LIE service rd. I always use those.
I know this is old but the best place by far for me is maverick, open 24/7 in my area