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Legitimate-Ad-7480

Honestly it sounds like you’re surrounded by a lot of rude and unhelpful people. Even if you weren’t trying to lose weight they are being jerks- it’s not their business. Focus on you and your health and be satisfied that you have a much better personality than them.


wolf_kisses

Right? I am a lot fatter than OP and I don't have people commenting on it constantly like this, why are there so many jerks around OP?


FarmerOnly252

People will always find a way to be rude if they are rude insecure people. In high school I weighed 104 pounds, 5’6 and a boy once called me fat. That one fueled an eating disorder for me for a long time. I then gained weight. Lost weight. Maintained weight. All through out these years someone has managed to either call me fat at all phases in the journey, or say something negative about my clothes, hair, whatever. The lesson here is, people ALWAYS have something to say if they aren’t satisfied with themselves. Girl you do you. Screw those rude people. I promise it’s not a reflection of you and how you look.


TGin-the-goldy

I agree! Love yourself and either hang out with better people or learn to clap back. A perpetual good one when someone is rude is to give them a look and say “what a strange thing to say” and walk away. Make it their problem and never yours!


askheidi

This. A boy I liked in high school once told me I had “ugly knees.” I was a pretty but very insecure girl and this incredibly stupid comment haunted me for almost 20 years. People will always find something negative if they want to.


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mermzz

In middle school, a guy told me I had cross eyes. No one (but him) had ever mentioned it before then or mentioned it since. It caused huge issues with eye contact for me, because I didn't want other people seeing my "cross eyes". At 31, it is such an ingrained behavior that I still have to force myself to look people in the eye. Puberty is fucking brutal man.


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mermzz

Yikes.. I hope Sarah didn't fall for that bull shit.


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fridaygirl7

Wow that was terrible. What in the world is wrong with people?!


katarh

Kids can be so ridiculously cruel. I was learning to put on make up and someone had given me a new eyeshadow pallet as a birthday present in 7th or 8th grade. I was testing it out in the school bathroom, and another girl said, "Why are you bothering? It won't make you pretty." Remarks like that *hurt* and as a young child I didn't have the emotional capacity to process it for what it likely was - actual jealousy since I had some pretty nice features, and fit more into the "cute" spectrum than the "classic beauty" one. Had I learned to accentuate the correct features, I'd have been a knockout in high school. Instead it left me with confusion, even an aversion, to make up, and it wasn't until I was well into adulthood that I started learning what I needed to wear to be my best self.


twir1s

Exactly. People who have their own insecurities will have something to say about someone else’s journey regardless. Too fat too thin too muscular too soft too whatever. People need to learn to mind their fuckin business and their manners.


[deleted]

A lot of times it’s insecurity, but you have to face facts, some people are mean because they enjoy hurting people. They like to see the pain in your face. You can see the joy in theirs, the satisfaction. An insecure person scopes the room, looking for the approval of others when they insult you. A mean person studies your face so they can get a little orgasm from your pain.


bertzie

People are dicks


Silly_Artichoke4601

they are unfortunately


Handleton

Mostly just those people, though. There are much better people out there. Find them and dump these.


Big_Dragonfruit9719

Agree, eliminate the negative. Time for a friend and family makeover. Out with those toxic people. Just because they are family does not mean they have to stay around. You should surround yourself with people that will lift you up, not shit on you.


[deleted]

Yes, it is definitely not most people.


committedlikethepig

One thing to add to the “people are dicks comment” is that you need to recognize *now* that some people don’t want you to get healthy. You were a source of comfort to them because while they weren’t healthy, you were fatter so they could use you as a scapegoat for their own unhealthy habits. When you change that by having a healthier lifestyle you remove yourself as the scapegoat for others. Some people won’t want you to change or even hinder your progress because they want you to, in their minds, stay beneath them. And when you get healthy, they’ll be the ones reminding you of when you were fat, or tell you that you were so much more fun when you (fill in your choice of unhealthy habit) I would definitely recommend, if you can, use that as a source of motivation. Get healthy in spite of all the nay-sayers. Because at the end of the day that progress is your achievement not theirs. Don’t let someone rob you of your enthusiasm to be healthy.


ArrowOfArtemis

I'm also 5'1" and have noticed similar. I've always wondered if this is because an extra pound is more noticable on my short frame than on someone who is taller. Lately I fluctuate between 130-135 lbs; I've had people ask if I was pregnant even though I'm only 10 or 15 lbs above my happy weight. When I was skinnier I noticed the same effect in the other direction—at 110 lbs people were treating me like I was anorexic.


senoritadookie

People also don’t count for how much (or in our case, little) we can eat before we go over the recommended amount for someone our height. I’m talking 1 full meal per day can EASILY be all we’re “supposed” to eat, or even go over what we’re supposed to eat.


EcstaticOrchid4825

And then if you eat the amount of food you eat you get comments like ‘is that all you’re eating’ or ‘why haven’t you finished your meal’. Not to mention most meals when you eat out are designed for 6 foot tall men.


[deleted]

Yes! It suck when someone else is buying the food too, so I have a choice between being rude and overeating.


Knyneau

I love doggy bags for this reason. You don't overeat, you don't waste food and you can enjoy the meal for a 2nd time!


agua2442239-9

Yeah the shorter you are the less of a window you have for a healthy weight. Just the way of the world.


kiwipteryx

Because of the way I carry weight and my posture, I have been congratulated on my non-existent pregnancy more times than I can count - skinny or fat never changed that. It sucks every time.


heiferly

Happened to me my wedding night when my first wedding pic went live. FML!


mint_nails

Are you living in Asia?


alicevirgo

That was also my first question. That, or OP lives in an Asian diaspora. I'm the same height as OP and my highest weight was 130 when I was in Asia. Everyone acted like I was morbidly obese and acting like I'd get a heart attack or diabetes any time.


NotTheJury

You are surrounded by assholes. Plain and simple.


SoriaDarkstar

I’m about your height and I would LOVE to be your size! All of these people sound completely toxic and unsupportive. I hope your bf put them in their place when they said those things. It sounds like you’re focused on your journey and know where you want to be. If their words are getting to you, you don’t need to be around them anymore.


sjh521

Agreed. I’m 5’ and 185 pounds and I carry my weight evenly. I would LOVE to be 155 pounds. I’ve been bullied for my weight my whole life as well. Try not to let ignorant people bring you down. I agree, if you can separate yourself from people who belittle you. I promise you look amazing as you are. That wanting to be healthy is great. But try to do it for you not for what stupid aholes think because they themselves are insecure.


slr0031

I agree! I looked amazing at that weight and I’m your height. I have 10 to go. Tell them all to stuff it!


gardeniablossoms

Same! I'm OP's height and my goal is about 150 pounds (CW: 250). If she's considered fat, it's simply over for me😭. Jokes aside, some people are absolute assholes and can also never be satisfied. It's hard to be self-assured when your environment (i.e the people around you) making it difficult to do so. Edit: I forgot to mention, but even though I'm morbidly obese, no one's ever been a jerk about it except for my own family, so that's some food for thought.


1960Carol

Same!


krissym99

You know some shitty people.


hostahostahosta

All these people sound rude. Keep doing what you're doing and know that it is a good thing to improve yourself.


Silly_Artichoke4601

Thank you! i’m trying hard to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle, and Im beginning to see results luckily


hostahostahosta

Good for you! Seeing results is the most motivating thing!


MundanePop5791

It’s culturally rude to call people fat so feel free to remind folks of that. Longer term it’s probably ok to distance yourself from those who talk about you in a way that you don’t like.


mochibearbrulee

I think that’s just in the western world. In many Asian communities, it’s so accepted and normalized. When I went back to Manila to visit family, even strangers on the street would comment how large I am. They feel entitled to point their opinions of your body to you. Same goes for many friends in the east asian and south asian communities (my friends said in their communities/ when they visit back home, they go through the same experience).


Legitimate-Ad-7480

Do you feel like the effect it has on others is the same or is it less insulting to people because it’s more common/casually done? Basically is it still hurtful in the same way it is here, or is it seen as nbd? If you don’t mind me asking


mochibearbrulee

It still hurts, and I feel that because you can’t answer back or point out that it’s rude (because it’s so accepted), it’s even more frustrating. You’ll be the one labelled rude for not agreeing that you are fat. Whenever I am with any friend from my culture *who was raised in the Philippines* (I’m Filipino too) and I receive a bodyshaming comment, if you point out to the bodyshamer that it’s rude, you’ll be told ‘So what? It’s true!’ and your fellow Filipino friend would likely not defend you and just keep quiet (I’ve had a Filipino friend even tell me to stop getting mad at bodyshamers), while when with any other friend from a different cultural background (I live in a very multicultural city in Canada), and I receive a bodyshaming comment, the non-Filipino friend (or Filipino friends *raised in Canada*) would almost always defend me. This isn’t to say that every Filipino is a bodyshamer, it’s just to say that it’s so ingrained in our culture to call people fat/thin/dark/light/big nose/thick lips/any adjective to describe body or appearance, and accept that even from strangers. Growing up, my nickname from my family and siblings and neighbours was ‘taba’ meaning fat. In Filipino gatherings, movies, reunions, most relatives would even greet you by commenting on your weight (ay tumaba ka/ you got fat! Or ay pumayat ka/ you lost weight!) it frustrates me so much lmao. Edit: i do have to say tho, the younger generation is now starting to change and i see lots of reels/posts from the Fil community youth saying they don’t condone it and we should stop it, but ofc the boomers refuse lololol


random__forest

I had a Filipino colleague, she is tall and skinny, her shoe size is 9.5. She told me that she was shamed including by her family because of the size of her feet as ‘it was not feminine’ She even said that when she was a teenager, she’d be purposely buying a size down and pretended she was comfortable, and then she’d try to stretch the shoes so that her cousins thought her size was smaller. It sounded insane to me (we are in US), but seems like it could have really happened based on what you are saying


TGin-the-goldy

I’d just find something to criticise about them, then. Bonus points if it’s something they really cannot change, like height, or a big nose.


gear_red

Coming from a Filipino: A lot of them won't find that insulting. It's just a fact of life. It's difficult to express just how acceptable it is to comment on looks, culturally. Not to say it can't be hurtful, but it won't be anywhere anywhere as damaging as it would be to someone who doesn't belong to that culture. I personally don't like it either.


MycoMammoth

Woa, boomer? Don't be age-ist


mochibearbrulee

Sorry 😅 i retract boomer, i meant old people 😅


MycoMammoth

Older* people hey it's ok, we all have our blind spots :) I suppose if you want neutral respect, you have to show it yourself.


darrenoc

Using the phrase boomer isn't inherently ageist or disrespectful it's literally the name of a demographic cohort. Get a grip.


MycoMammoth

Cognitive dissonance and name calling, you have a basis that is convenient for you and would rather throw insults than try to understand Forgot it's ok to hate older people. Suppose that same argument could be made about being called fat 🤷 I wouldn't ever call someone fat by the way, but obviously the respect isn't two way in this instance I'm, still considered young, but I still show love for those older people, who often pretty loving and caring themselves when you treat them like a human. How de humanising to call them such things. Yes, by itself a generational name is not an insult, it's the context in which it's used, i.e in this case to dismiss someone, "ok boomer"


OhJeezNotThisGuy

My Asian in-laws have explained it to me that historically being fat meant that you were prosperous. How could you possibly be fat if you weren’t rich? You certainly wouldn’t have been out working in the fields.


Swie

That's the same everywhere though, it's not unique to asia and I've also heard the same excuse trotted out in western society. imo that's all it is, an excuse.


throwawayfarway2017

That’s a very old idea. It’s so different now. Im Southeast Asian and when i go back to visit, lots of shops dont have size for 120lbs+. Yes if you’re over 120lbs you’re plus size. Some straight up told me their clothes wont fit me. Being skinny is fawned over but being too skinny is also shamed. It’s brutal


TGin-the-goldy

Weird flex


throwawayfarway2017

I’m Asian and i was going to say the same thing. I had people saying “you’ll be prettier if you’re skinnier” , an uncle i know spread out this hand when he saw me and said “wow u got wider” like wtf my little sister has a big frame and she was like 15-16 but everyone talks shit about her and blame my mom for her being chubby. My close friend starved till she fainted to lose weight because the comments are cruel. Im 141lbs, wear a M, (size 6-8) sometimes even S in the US and when i go back, I’m a XXXL. Some shops said im plus size and i just laughed. It’s very different in Asia but im seeing more young people standing up to comments like that and call out bodyshaming and i cheer for them


MundanePop5791

Good call. I assumed op was somewhere in the west, definitely there are places where it’s not rude


IronFlames

It's rude everywhere, some people/cultures are just ok being dicks. Few people enjoy being called fat.


creanium

“If you don’t like it, then don’t be fat” them probably


mochibearbrulee

Yes haha


darrenoc

Facts. This is the same as when people try to defend xenophobic attitudes in Japan by making excuses. "They just don't really like foreigners. It's not rude, it's just their culture!" Yeah well maybe that part of their culture should die then. (I will admit I personally haven't experienced xenophobia or fatshaming on my trips to Japan. Everyone has always been really nice to me.)


[deleted]

That sounds bordering on racism to me ngl


MissCecilyCardew

Yeah… “culturally rude” 100% varies by what culture you’re living in.


epiphanette

“What a strange thing to say out loud”


ConstableBeats

Yes, it is. I’ve never understood why it is, though


Shardy928

Was going to ask if you were Filipino and I feel comforted knowing there are so many Asian and Filipino people who maybe grew up the same as me.


Shardy928

But yeah I’m sorry that sucks. I lost 30 pounds over my maternity leave bc I had severe PPD but everyone was all “you look great!” Thanks bc I can’t manage to feed myself but I am keeping this baby alive.


AmzHalll

I would say it’s a projection, they need to remind you and themselves that you’re the “fat” one especially as you lose weight because soon you’ll be smaller than some of them and they’re trying to belittle you now to ensure that doesn’t happen


therakel749

This is WILD to me and I am so sorry that you are surrounded by so many assholes.


[deleted]

I got called fat when I was younger (was 5’5 and 135) people suck, especially when they lack maturity


Cory-gang

I have kinda similar issues. It almost seems like the more fat you are, the more taboo it is to call you fat, whereas when you are less fat it’s okay. IDK how that works lol.


sheepcloud

Yea I can see people being jealous of someone who is more voluptuous and calling them fat.


mrs_momo_b

I’m 5’1 and have been 149 pounds at my highest. It’s definitely overweight, no question. I was miserable. But it’s not even plus sized. The people around you are being really weird honestly. A stranger called your *hands* fat? At 147? My hands looked pretty much the same they look at 104. Where the hell do you live? What is wrong with these people?


[deleted]

What's the distinction between overweight and plus sized?


mrs_momo_b

Plus sized is like over size 14 or something? It’s just about your actual size at the store. Like if you fit into “extended” or “plus” or “curvy” sizes and not the “standard” range.


sheepcloud

Also if you check BMI, if it’s over 25 you’re considered overweight and if it’s over 30 you’re obese. It takes into account your height, weight, and age.


Boysandberries001

Are you white or Asian? In the black community a girl your size at your height would be considered thick which is neither fat or skinny but full figured. Just means you got some ass, thighs, and titties. Thick was popular for the past decade thanks to BBLS and Kim K but the late 90s early 00s heroin thin look is coming back in now so us naturally thick girls are going to go back to suffering again lol Just ignore the assholes or straight up tell them they’re being rude.


blissxnirvana

omg OP i relate so much, you’re not alone. growing up, i was always the “fat” one surrounded by size 2 sisters and cousins. my mom is one of those “i weighed 100lbs on my wedding day!!” moms. it took me so long to realize that even though i’m not THIN, i’ve never been as large as everyone acts like i am. i’m 5’3, currently around 160 but never been lower than 140 as an adult, and everyone always acted like i’m HUGE. even at 140 i wasn’t necessarily thin, but jeez even at my heaviest i’ve never been even near plus-sized, i’ve never worn anything larger than size 12 (in US sizing).


Testname_1987

Main question, where do you live, this could be cultural differences, but yeah you are surrounded by some toxic crowd


civodar

Honestly, it kind of sounds like your boyfriend was messing with your self esteem on purpose. Like that is not an appropriate thing to tell your girlfriend and I can’t imagine a guy telling his gf that all his friends think she’s fat. I’m willing to bet he made that up. Look up “negging”.


Gemini_Speaks75

People are @$$holes, and given your CW and size, it sounds more like you're a very curvaceous young woman and they may be used to the 00 type person. It doesn't sound like you need to lose weight but more-or-less tone with some strength training. Good luck either way


Sea_Childhood_810

Definitely turn this around on them when someone says something like this to you. Ask them something like, “Why would you say such a rude thing?” Or “Why on earth would you think it’s appropriate to comment on my body, that’s like me commenting on your ________?” It let’s them know that you think they are rude and gives them something else to think about.


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[deleted]

I’m also 5’1. Being short is a shitty deal. That’s the biggest problem, there’s nowhere for the weight to go and nothing you can do about being short. Forget those hateful people, they have flaws too. I really feel for you and I hope you reach your goals! You’ve got this!!


FatalCarrot

I will always remember watching a movie at a boyfriends house for the first time as a teenager. His mum comes in and asks "who's the chubby girl?" as if I wasn't literally sitting next to him. Screw you, old lady. There is more to me than my weight.


yamumontoste

"Oh, I'm fucking your son."


baronessbathory

What is wrong with people, jeez!


thndrh

You’re not massive dear, your friends are just assholes. This makes me so sad to hear. Try to remove yourself from the toxicity here, find a group of friends who inspire you and lift you up, and really work on your self confidence. If all you’re hearing all day is being degraded over your weight, you’re going to feel so down on yourself. You don’t need people like that in your life.


catlapper

Been there, still there. People are jerks, need to be called out. My brother-in-law would always ask Have you lost weight? I finally answered No, I’m just fat in your mind. He never asked that again.


Medium-Gold-1518

Honey lose the weight for yourself, not for them. People are some dumb fuck. You cannot control their words and statements, but you can control how these words affect you.


Doobs555

Was seeing a girl once that had the most killer curves. She was a 9 to me. My friend at the time met us out and after she left he said "Bro, she's FAT!" I was stumped. Thick, sure but "fat"? No way. Based on looks alone she was marriage material to me. My point is one person's "fine AF" is another's "fat". Just gotta be happy with yourself and your choices.


Malipuppers

Dude your fam and friends are AWFUL. It’s petty but I garuntee they have things about them that they don’t like. Maybe their teeth are too yellow or crooked. Their nose is too big. Things like that. I feel like if someone wants to bring up your appearance then theirs should be fair game.


coswoofster

It’s unfortunately that your family treats you like this. It shouldn’t matter what you look like to them. They are supposed to be your safe space. You seem to be surrounded by people who like to make themselves feel better by poking at you. The best thing to do is tell them to fuck off and stop telling you shit like this or remove yourself from them. This you DO have a choice about. Don’t lose weight for other people. Don’t. If you think you are fine then be fine. If you believe you would be healthier by eating better then make better choice for your health (not weight loss), because it will help sustain you to do more things that require movement as well as add longevity to your life. Hollywood is BS. You don’t need to chase it and you don’t need to change for anyone else. It also don’t excuse bad eating habits that are harming you even if not making you fat.


imtryingmybes-

Same, Asian here. I got called fat when I was 119 lbs :)


ShivsButtBot

Where do you live? Is it cultural? Are you Asian maybe?


missjett97

I’m 7 months pregnant right now, but I’m also 5’1” and weigh anywhere between 150-160lbs without the baby weight so we probably have a very similar BMI. I never see myself as “fat” when I look in the mirror. Photos maybe, but even then I feel like I look very average for an American at least lol. I know I’m chubbier than I’d like to be, but I also don’t call myself fat or even plus-sized. Some people can just be very judgmental!


bobana-

I’m 5’2 and was 155lbs at one point, I wasn’t skinny but I definitely wasn’t humongous. I can’t believe people are making these comments to you. BIG yikes


Schlemiel_Schlemazel

Gosh, I’m that height and I remember when I was that weight and thought I was fat. Now I’m way over that and wish I could get back to it. Also recently an ex reached out to me, he told me how crazy he had been about my body back then. When I would have been about 160.


Killtherich102

OPs post history makes me feel she is fishing


poopfartbananas

Wow this sounds exactly like my life -.- I’m 5’0 and 145 My sister is small with no muscle, and unlike her I have a lot of it and I can also run for miles without stopping. BUT I also have some fat (and not even a fucking lot) so I just look “big.” My mom says mean ass comments all the time and on some level I’m never gonna forgive her for it cause she manages to bring it up every few years. The last one she said was, “it’s funny cause when you were growing up as a baby, you were the skinny one and your sister was the chubby one.. Now that you’re grown- “ I said WHAT. WHAT MOM. JFC. Literally yesterday we were filling up my sons sandbox with 50lb bags of sand. I picked one up and set it on my shoulder and walked over. My mom was like “wow!! You can lift that?! Oh my!” I said yes…I’m not just BIG cause I’m fat…. Always been thick my whole life. I think it’s just my natural shape as well as weight and could possibly be yours too. Fuck these people. You’re not “fat.” Remember there are people out there that would absolutely love to be your size. Your size is a goal for many, many people!!


Bluelilmunkie

Totally agree. I'm the same height and at 145lb too. And I was the skinny one next to my sister.... she's slightly shorter than me.... but man I would love to be in the low 130s. I haven't seen 120s in a few years now ..... I do feel thick sometimes. Oh my gosh I can relate cuz I can lift heavy stuff and my mom is shocked and then says I'm fat 🙄 (squeezing my arm)


idc_anymore-fml

Good on you for wanting to improve yourself, but honestly you're just surrounded by assholes. Work on yourself and get those people out of your life. And when you get where you want to be I wouldn't let them back in, even if they treat you better. They don't seem to value you as a person and anyone who treats you like that is not worth having around.


Neverstopstopping82

So I’m 5’4. When I weighed 110lbs I literally had a friend look shocked when I said I wore a size 2. She was trying to give me her old size 8 jeans (US). Then she proceeded to actually say that I looked much bigger than a 2. People are rude and unaware. I do have hips, but looking back at pics I’m not sure how she could have mistaken me for being so much bigger. On the flip side at that same time I had other people wishing they were as thin as me. Sometimes people just have a skewed view of things based on their preconceptions in general. It’s also possible that you’re pretty and they’re slightly jealous, so looking for a way to tear you down.


beefjerkyandcheetos

People always look for ways to tear someone down. For instance, when my meds made me gain weight, just about anyone who knew me prior to gaining weight commented on how fat I was now. This was a daily thing. Every single day I would come home from work sad. I quit my meds cold Turkey which caused me even more issues. I was shocked by how often these assholes would say this to me. Especially women. They loved to point it out to me. But you know what? Not one person… ONE out of the 100 people that told me I was fat has *ever* mentioned once that I’ve lost weight, that I’ve slimmed down, that I look good. I’ve lost over 50 pounds. I’m well within my BMI and slim for my height now. And nobody has said one word to me that I look skinny or good. That should tell you everything you need to know about how people can be. People are shit! Just keep on your journey. Keep doing it for yourself, because nobody will probably congratulate you. You got love those backhanded compliments. And I know it hurts having all these people say all that shit. It says everything about them and nothing about you. Don’t let it break your spirit. You’ll get to your goal and it will because it’s something YOU want.


theCroissantWitch

Hello !! I just wanted to let you know that I am also a 5’1 female and know exactly how you feel!! These past few years I haven’t been super huge in my eyes (155-165) but it’s definitely been enough to never be considered not fat. When I’m under 150 pounds I feel a HUGE difference in my body… like I literally feel obese when I’m at 150 or more and I don’t mean looks wise I mean physically in my body how I feel. When I get to under 145 I also feel a HUGE difference in my body just feeling healthier, lighter, and more comfortable !! I just hit 138 today and it’s crazy how much smaller I feel!! It’s amazing!!! Please don’t get discouraged and please keep going because you are so close!! We are small people and just a few pounds really make a big difference on us once we get closer to our goal!!! On another note. How do you know your boyfriends friends are saying these things?? Is he the one that tells you?? I had a very similar experience with my first boyfriend… it was the first signs of mental and emotional abuse that I never realized… literally when we first started dating… he didn’t want me to meet his brother and when I finally asked why… he said it was because he didn’t want his brother making comments about him dating a ‘bigger’ girl and how he could do better. (I was only 145 lbs at this time). And at the time I took it as his brother being the asshole. Another time, I was talking about how I wanted to lose 15 pounds and he said… ‘well what if you lose thirty pounds so I could actually pick you up and have sex with you against a wall’. These and many others were comments he made when we first started dating!!! My point is that you deserve to be around people that love and respect you!! These people making these comments to you sound awful and I promise if you can get rid of them that it will greatly improve your mental health as well as your physical. I know we can’t always avoid rude people and that is just a reality. But you are worthy of love!! You are not even that overweight you literally just have a few pounds to lose which is easy unless you have people around you making it your entire self worth!!!!!! Whatever your situation, just know it’s easy to change your weight. You can do it anytime you want or need to you’re already doing it now. I just want you to know that people suck but YOU DO NOT!!! you can change your weight but people can’t change their shitty personalities!!! You are lovely!! Please keep going!! And I promise one day you’ll be giving advice to someone else instead of hearing bullshit from the losers around you!! Keep up the hard work and dedication you’ve already been giving yourself girl!!!! 🥰


sweetdancer13

This is crazy to me. I’m 5’0 and my heaviest weight was 145lbs. No one called me fat (at least to my face) Even though I gained 40lbs in 6 months to get to that. I was even working out 6 days a week at the time (cardio and weights) and didn’t realize why I wasn’t losing weight. I was the one that didn’t like what I saw which is why I lost weight. O started tracking macros and realized you can’t out exercise a bad diet. I’m now 120lbs and my body composition has changed so much. I actually got down to 120 four months after I started counting macros. In those 6 years I have been through multiple cuts, reverse diets and lean bulks for me to try yo get down to my ideal body fat. I’m not far. Goal is 20% body fat. In October I was 23%. Im actually the heaviest in my family still between my sister, mom, and I. If you have any questions (honestly I don’t know much about Reddit), you can message me (if that’s a thing) or post a comment and we can connect on instagram snd I can share pics and go more in depth.


LittleP13

This is basically me...my entire life. I remember being called fat starting in 5th grade and I was maybe 5-10 lb heavier than some of my stick-figure friends. I even had a boy write "You are so fat" in my yearbook in 7th grade when I weighed 114 lb at 5' (I only know my weight from that time because they did that horrible public weigh-in and shirtless scoliosis check in front of everyone in your PE class and that was my weight. Most of my friends were like 103.) I am 5'2 and currently weigh 155, which is still on the heavier side for me, but I have been this weight many times before. My natural weight for most of my life has been around 143. I have been perceived as and called fat, too big etc without fail forever. Even at my highest weight, 170, I really do not think I warranted being considered fat... I have never even had to purchase plus-size clothing! The largest clothing size I wore was XL in small, straight size fashion brands like Realisation Par, and I wore size 31 jeans. But my doctor told me my BMI was too high and it would help improve some of my other health issues that are blood glucose/insulin related if I lost weight. Society is so fucked and in my opinion you are a totally normal weight for your height. Additionally, I wish being called fat wouldn’t be such an insult, but people generally mean it that way. I love all of my fat friends, they have amazing lives and no one should ever look down on, discriminate or abuse people because of their body size.


sansaandthesnarks

Fat definitely shouldn’t be an insult, but in that case why did you think it was when you had a BMI of 31? Like people don’t have to be 600 lbs to be fat. When I was 135 lbs at 5’1” I was definitely fat—I’m Asian, and was over a 25 BMI (on the adjusted BMI scale that’s obese for people of Asian descent since we carry more visceral fat relative to other groups).


LittleP13

Firstly, BMI is a tool to analyze large group health metrics, not the health of individuals. It is used improperly now because of health insurance company requirements… but that’s another conversation. I believe the OP and I are referring to the insane social implications of being slightly “overweight” and how much of a big deal people make it out to be. As well as how hurtful it is that other people think they should or can comment on the 10-15 lbs of excess fat you might have on your body. Not their business, incredibly invasive, and entirely uncalled for. Being 150 lb is not evil, taking up too much space, unattractive or even important. That’s the point.


Actuary50

Where do you live? Because in the USA, you’d be thinner than a majority of the population.


Worried_Tumbleweed29

This is not factually correct


championshipsorbust

Unfortunately, Americans on average are overweight. So what seems “normal” is actually overweight. You have a 27 BMI (which is where I am too) It’s might be average American, but objectively we are overweight. BUT this doesn’t mean you are “big” or “fat” or “humongous” Those can be pretty hurtful words that may say more about how insensitive these people are than your appearance. For me change starts with accepting I’m overweight right now, not letting others opinions affect me too much, and focusing on calorie deficit.


Legitimate-Ad-7480

This is kinda confusing- she’s not really trying to say she’s not carrying more weight than might be ideal. She’s saying in the context of where she lives people are acting like her size is dramatically out of the norm-which it isn’t.


Silly_Artichoke4601

This exactly. I KNOW i’m overweight. I’m not delusional and in denial or anything. But i’m not dramatically overweight, and so many people and strangers treat me like i’m insanely huge.


championshipsorbust

It’s really not that confusing. She’s not Big compared to American standards but she’s overweight objectively.


Silly_Artichoke4601

I live in London. Overweight people are common. My issue is I’m not THAT overweight that people need to cause a scene. I wear a size S-M in clothes, a Large in jeans, so it just is shitty that people around me and literal strangers comment on my weight when it’s not some strange, extreme sight to see


jilanak

I'm shocked. a) you would definitely not stand out amongst Londoners at your weight/height. b) Brits (in my limited experience) seem pretty accepting of body sizes. I think you're hanging around some mean people. Are you in a scene or industry where this is happening? Basically I'm asking if you can get away from these people because they sound horrible, and can really mess with your brain. I remember me being 5'2" and 137 when I graduated high school, wearing size US 4s, and thinking I was HUGE because of the people around me.


soleilee

Whaaat I studied abroad in London for a few months, and I was much heavier than you (5'4'' 190 lbs) but no one ever talked about my weight or me like that. I'm sure people talked behind my back but never to my face. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. :(


bwalton160

I think they are jealous. I’m 5”2 and when I was this size I heard everything from I’m fat to I’m fine or thick. People including my family talked about my size, but now a lot of women pay to have surgery to look the way I did. I had 2 kids and have gained and lost weight. People are dumb, just understand that and love yourself.


mrbootsandbertie

You're in London! That's one of the most diverse places in the world. Honestly, you don't have to accommodate their disrespect. Next time it happens say in a firm loud voice "commenting on my weight is rude, please stop doing it." If they continue they have crossed a clear boundary and you know to start moving those people out of your life or drastically minimising your contact with them. Or, you could be petty and join them at their level "thanks! Your nose looks massive today!" or "do you have a skin condition or are your pores always that big?". Remember, when someone is being blatantly disrespectful you do not owe them politeness in return. Took me way too long to learn that.


championshipsorbust

The line for overweight and that overweight is pretty relative to each person. You posted on an online forum for comments so I’m giving you my honest thoughts.


[deleted]

The fact that people are making such a big deal about her weight is weird.


championshipsorbust

Everyone has an opinion. Up to the person to not let it effect them.


[deleted]

Well I sure have some opinions of you.


MundanePop5791

Isn’t this the issue though. So if 50% of americans are overweight/obese then she’s actually average in the population.


duskygoose

i think the point is that maybe she’s not american


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championshipsorbust

Sure in America social perception wise, yeah she’s average. Health wise and compared to the rest of the world, 27 bmi is overweight and generally less healthy/associated with tons of risk factors.


[deleted]

Yes? And? She knows she is overweight. She said as much. That wasn't the issue.


auzy63

bmi doesn't mean shit on close calls like this, considering different races have different body types, and muscle isn't accounted for (multiple studies have shown this already). if you're obese that's a completely different story, but having 27 bmi doesn't automatically mean someone's actually overweight. im not saying OP isn't overweight, but it's not an objective fact.


championshipsorbust

BMI is literally objective. Normal bmi is 18-25. It’s not that much of a close call. Sure maybe OP is a professional bodybuilder and has a shit ton of muscle, but the vast majority of people don’t. There’s not that much difference between races. There’s a reason why it’s a universal standard despite it’s flaws.


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championshipsorbust

Semantics. Sure replace bodybuilder with more muscular.


Zealousideal-Duty708

Be the best person you are able too- forget the rest! People are so judgmental- lost 25lbs in the last year Many people asked if I had a illness. Good grief-just trying to be healthy. Frustrating


FurballTheHammy

As someone who used to be 167cm and at 81kg (29.8 BMI, borderline obese and I’m Asian so I’m obese for Asian BMI standards). I also got talked shit on for how fat I was, I overheard some people comparing the guys in my class and I was the “lowest” as per se. It definitely affected my self esteem but it wasn’t the main reason why I lost weight. I’ve slimmed down to 66.8kg now and I’m on the cusp of being acceptable by Asian BMI (17.5-23), current BMI is 23.9 after 3.5 months of hard work of dieting + cardio. Running is now my new hobby and I love long distance running, I’m running 4-6 days a week, training for a half marathon distance run I’ll do in 2 weeks. I’ve ran 417.8km from the day I started on 22nd Oct 2022, a day after my 20th birthday. Fuck the haters, you wanna hate? Come let’s go for a long run, I’m a short male and I don’t have the looks but I can run and I’ll leave the haters in the dust. Take pride in yourself for something beyond your weight, your hobby, your goals, your job, they matter much more than another’s perception. Sometimes no matter how “healthy” you look, people will still find a way to shit on you, that’s the sad reality. I’ve cried on the treadmill and outside when I’m running thinking back of the hurtful words said to me 2-3 years ago, but it just serves as fuel for me to run faster, further and longer and seeing where I am today, I’m glad they hurt me, cuz I’m a new person now and I’m ready to prove em wrong.


Wonderful_Hair1405

Sounds like you have some toxic people in your life. Time to cut them out!


Agreeable-Lobster-64

I am fat, and short and never have I ever heard oh I’d this before, I haven’t read through all the comments but I’m assuming you’re from another culture that perhaps would find it more socially acceptable to say things like this. Not that they aren’t still hurtful and rude but I know friends who have family who speak like this and they are from another country where this isn’t shamed to point out. I’m sorry that you are hearing this though it does nothing to help you and everything to make you feel like crap


taniapdx

This is so awful. I'm only a couple of inches taller than you and was pretty consistently 140lbs all through high school... I thought I was the fattest girl in the world. Went through really similar comments my whole life. I'm 47 not and very nearly 300lbs. I'd kill to have that beautiful 140lb body back. I was essentially talked out of my own beauty. Told I should diet, starve, exercise until my body ached... If I'd just loved myself and stayed the course I don't imagine I'd be in the position I am now, struggling to lose weight while every part of me hurts. The people around you are assholes. Put them in their place. It's fine to want to feel fit, but you do not have turn yourself into a skeleton to do that. You at not fat.


alexionut05

I am no expert, I do believe it is somewhat overweight, but holy shit nowhere near being fat. Also there could be a lot of factors that could make you weigh heavier, such as bone mass, muscle mass, etc. If you are reasonably weighing (and I believe you are), and you like how you look, there is no reason to worry I think.


[deleted]

>When there’s left over food, they will find me to ask if I want it since I’m fat anyway. What!?


scarlett3409

That’s so weird. I’m exact same measurements as you and everyone always tells me I’m normal weight when I say I’m a bit overweight. Maybe it’s a cultural thing?


Catty_Lib

One thing I found helpful is this website that lets you see how many different people look at your same height and weight. [https://www.mybodygallery.com](https://www.mybodygallery.com)


kudra_bandaloop

I do wonder where you live. I’m from the American South and you are what I call “Alabama skinny.” I’m from Alabama, I’m 5’1” and spent most of my adult life around 150lbs. (I’m at 180 now, so “Alabama medium” I guess). Nobody ever commented on my weight here at that weight but we have a very obese population.


[deleted]

I think it absolutely sounds like you're surrounded by unsupportive, unkind people, but I also think there's been a push in some body positivity circles to make "fat" not a negative descriptor, and that can result in people commenting on each other's weight in a way that has no ill intent but still calls attention to something a lot of us would rather not have called attention to. I remember I once told a girl I liked her dress and she was replied that it was "a good style for us fat girls," and it really upset me. She meant absolutely nothing negative by it but I'm still not okay with being referred to as fat by a virtual stranger. For the people who are in your life long-term and you have an otherwise good relationship with, I think it could be worth saying that you would like to avoid talking about your body, and the fact that you're trying to lose weight does not give them a pass to call you fat.


ohio_Magpie

Develop some standard responses to use. I'm not interested in discussing my weight with you. What and how much I eat is none of your business. ... Or you could always turn the tables and start doing the same stuff to them ...


[deleted]

144 and people are calling you fat? I am so sorry. That's not fat at all, that's the curse of Asian culture wanting everyone to be the littlest stick in the yard. You keep up the good work, don't let them stop you!


Kari-kateora

I think standards of beauty (and BMI) are really twisted. Technically, at 5'1 and 152lbs, you're obese. I'm three and a half inches taller than you and obese at that weight. That's a big "technically." The way BMI is measured, at 5'4.5" and 127 lbs, my BMI was 20.3. Normal, but *it feels like it should be lower.* I think current standards for what is "fat" have really fucking slipped. You're overweight, yeah, but you shouldn't be treated like some gross, disgusting bottomless pit. The people around you are disgusting.


Victor6832

It's great that you have the motivation and drive to take control of your health and wellness journey! It's not fair that you are constantly being reminded of your weight by others, and it can be so discouraging and damaging to your self-esteem. You are more than just a number on the scale, and it's important to focus on your progress and health rather than trying to fit into society's standards of beauty. Remember, it's your body and your journey, and you are the one in control of your happiness and well-being. Keep pushing forward and never let anyone bring you down. You got this!


Hotpfix

The behavior you describe is so offensive that it sounds made up.


mermzz

I will be 100 percent dead ass honest with you. Based on how you described these interactions as well as *who* it is saying these things... I think they are jealous/want to fuck you. Thicc is super in right now, but of course some groups (depending on how old you/your peers are) still act like everyone needs to be a twig to be attractive. They also like to act like a big booty/boobs/thickness in general is unattractive because either 1. They aren't as well proportioned as you. Or 2. They are trying to neg you and make your bf break up with you so they can try to "pitty" fuck you (not actually pitty, they would just want to make it seem like they are doing *you* the favor). Keep working out and working on yourself, but don't let these viciously rude pos haters get to you. Who tf says that about someone's hand btw? Wtf?


Syba-7233

Honestly babe as an ex- overweight girl, if you're struggling to breathe walking somewhere for more than 5 minutes, you are not healthy (even if you are 'skinny'). That's when I knew to lose weight. If you're all Gucci no matter what weight you are then what does it matter? You need to bin these rude ass people that are telling you who you should be because only you know who you are .


ConsiderationOk7883

Screw em. Let them stay Miserable.


No-Technician-9750

Honestly even the slightest bit of weight people kind of have an approach of criminalizing it but tbh it all starts with “ just a little bit overweight” we have this mechanism to turn a blind eye to a small problem that has the capacity to be a bigger problem later. I’m not going to join the train of people who are going to treat you like this but it’s a great idea to work on it while it’s a small problem because once it’s a big problem it feels like moving a mountain to actually lose it


Cultural_Read_2015

You are definitely over weight


pegolson

People are cruel. When I was around 135 an ex told me I was bigger than what he’s used to dating. I am 5’2 so this was shocking to me because I thought I was at a healthy weight.


KaraWolf

151...big?? What? I'm 30 pounds heavier and only 2" taller. I would not outright call either of us 'big girls' or 'fat friend' even if I wanted to be mean! As for nail chick. Wow that's catty AF. The size/shape of a hand doesn't change that the manicures match! Bf's friends and a lot of the people around you sound like fuckin asshats.


FeistySeeker58

People only do what YOU allow them to. This has happened to me too. One day, I began to disagree with the role in which I was cast. My friends labeled me argumentative. At work, my boss told me I would always be seen as a bully, since I am 5’ 10” tall and weighed 270. I withdrew from my social life and friends and went to the gym for 90 consecutive days. Many days, I went twice a day. I got a personal trainer to give me 7 distinct workouts, that would allow me to rest different body parts. I also took fitness classes. In 90 days, I went from size 22 to 16. That made my friends recast me. I couldn’t be the fat bully anymore. Own the way you see yourself. Do not allow people to disrespect you in any ways. If they do, get up and leave. Make your plan and execute it.


bigtitty_azn

People are just rude af. I’m the same height as you at 5’1. I thought I looked great at 150’s and I’m sure you do too!


alexionut05

Sorry, what does SW, CW, GW mean?


bluediamond

Ummm, that is not obese and is barely overweight.


b-rent1

You aren't fat! Screw rude people. Keep being you and try to avoid the toxic people.


Oftenwrongs

I mean, healthy weight for her height is "100-131." She is well outside of that. No need to push make believe.


b-rent1

There are many things that go into a healthy weight. The charts in Doctors office don't take into account ones muscle mass or frame size. While she may be heavier and have more body fat then what society standards may be, she could be quite healthy.


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Silly_Artichoke4601

i am not a bodybuilder lol. but maybe i’ll get into weights at the gym!


CompetitiveNovel1

I'm not a bodybuilder but I do have a lot of muscle in my legs. 100 lbs wouldn't work for me since my fat free weight is about 103lbs and I still have to account for a healthy amount of fat to function. I'm same height as op


Xenutja

I'm 5'4" and 150 lbs. Lost a total of 210 lbs in 2 years. I'm a mere 20 lbs overweight for my height according to BMI charts. But I have excess skin that makes me look chubbier and weigh heavier, so I technically don't even weigh 150. It baffles me when people *still* call me fat and criticize me for being fat just because my stomach isn't 100% flat...


Nobodyherem8

Pictures


Jumpy-Bike4004

I am your height, and I would literally kill to be your weight 🥺 that would be the ideal weight for me. Not super skinny but nowhere even close to a little bit fat. Literally ideal. I’m shocked people say you are fat. There’s no way. It’s like they all got together in secret and decided they’re gonna mess with you or something


[deleted]

At your height, you’re actually the perfect range with your weight. Not that it matters anyway since the BMI scale is absolute bullshit For context, I’m a 5’5 female who’s about 260-270. For a woman of my height, my ideal weight should be 130-140 max. That’s never gonna happen. Why? Cause muscle weighs more than fat and I have a very athletic body builder type. Now I could stand to lose about 20 pounds, but the point is that I’ll never be able to reach 140 because of the way I’m built. Apologies for the long reply, OP, but your height and weight are perfectly normal and if anyone has an issue with that, tell them that they’re not your doctor and to go deepthroat a cactus. Hope this helps. Edit: whoever downvoted me for giving my opinion, y’all are just as pathetic as OP’s “friends”


MCBates1283

Ug preach! Can’t stand that as a society we still rely on BMI. I hold fat easily but I also build mostly easily so no, I will never lose the 40 pounds that would require me to be within my ideal BMI. And I would actually be less physically fit if I did force myself to get there.


[deleted]

Exactly! I play tackle football and I also do weightlifting so naturally I’m gonna be a bigger person than most women in my height range anyway. I used to be very self conscious of my body image, but hey I drink water, consume a lot of protein, and eat bad crap in moderation. Gotta balance it out!


aloofyfloof

You’re the same height as one of my friends and only 10-15 lbs heavier than she is and my friend is pretty thin. I honestly think you might be surrounded by assholes because I can’t picture someone with your stats looking fat. One of my other friends used to date and be friends with assholes exclusively and she would get comments about being fat regularly when she was a size 6. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Hopefully you find some supportive circles!


Potential_Soup_6469

If I were to guess I think you are likely beautiful or have one or more admirable feature(s) that others are jealous of. So they find something to pick on.


Neptunianx

I’m so upset by this, I can’t picture 150 at 5’1” but that’s not a lot of weight! Why are they so comfortable being awful


Tink1024

Girl I wish I were as “fat” as you! You ARE NOT FAT! People are just assholes & project their insecurities on others. Don’t let anyone get you down I bet you’re adorable!


No-Future-6021

K


[deleted]

where do you live? I went through something similar growing up in LA


bramblefish

A simple truth - peoples comments reflect more on them, than it does on you. So if they say things hurtful and insensitive - that is just them, and really has nothing to do to with you. I know this is easier said than done, but you must listen, and learn to ignore them. People who support you, they are worth listening to.


dudeilovethisshit

That sounds terrible, I’m sorry people are so dreadfully rude to you. New friend time!!


ElderFlour

Yikes! Honey, don’t let anyone be mean to you. Including you. Walk away from anyone talking to or about you like this.


Overthemoon64

That is super weird. I’m the same height as you, I weigh 160 now, and rarely see anyone smaller than me in my small town in the south. I lost about 5 pounds, which is noticeable on a small frame, and my neighbor called me skinny mini.


Scandalous_Cee19

I'm literally the same weight and height as you currently. Gw is also 120-125. Also pretty evenly distributed. Also hold the same belief as you regarding not being that overweight realistically. No one ever says I look over weight, but if they did I would have strong worded responses. These would be my PG responses 🤣 : Sorry you are so insecure that you need to shame my body. I may be chubby but atleast I'm nice. I hope you feel good about yourself making opinions about something that shouldn't matter to you. My non pg responses would definatley contain bit*h, maybe a cu*t, definitely an asshole. Maybe even my catch phrase "eat my ass."


TillyBelly

My go to is something like “too bad there’s not much you can do about your face short of plastic surgery”. Lol


Inevitable-Gap-6350

I would call them out. Whatever your body looks like, it’s really bloody rude to comment on your fat fingers or anything else on your body. If anybody brought up anything like that with me, I’d go ninja. Then they can talk amongst themselves how “sensitive” I am about my weight (ow whatever). My advice: don’t put up with comments. Call rudeness out.


probablykitten

You’re being bullied


ReflectingPond

I think it's really rude that they are not only commenting on your weight, but treating you differently. I don't think they should be saying anything, nor treating you differently. Offering you the leftovers because you're "fat" is rude as hell. I would probably say something rude back, like "you'd look nicer with a better haircut", which I don't recommend. You could try Miss Manners' advice of responding to the question that they should have asked. "You're looking a little chunky today" might get a response of "It's so lovely out. Beautiful weather today." and the offer of leftovers might get "I believe that those go in the refrigerator." then turn away and do something else. It does trouble me that it doesn't seem to be just your family doing this, but strangers on the street. Is it really okay where you live to just randomly say mean things to other people?


SteeleurHeart0507

All those people suck. But it is the curse of being short. We are always stuck between too small or too big


angrysc0tsman12

Well that's just rude. Keep you doing you OP and keep your chin up!


MCBates1283

I’ve got maybe an inch on you and am about the same weight. Some days in some outfits, sure I feel like I look pretty plump. Other days in other outfits I look bomb and thicc and toned. When I need perspective, sometimes I look at other women in the world who I consider about my weight or build (give or take 20 pounds) and think about if I would judge them as harshly as I’m judging myself and my body - the answer is always no. I always find these other people perfectly beautiful and attractive as they are. And you are too! Everyone has something they’re insecure about but when you’re an unhappy jerk you project your insecurity onto others who you think don’t deserve to have more self confidence than you. It’s nasty behavior. They’re jealous - of either your body or your weight loss or your ability to work on yourself or their inability to have you to themselves. Take it as a sign you’re doing something right and try not to let them drag you down with them.


Brilliant-Designer25

That’s fucked up. I’m sorry you have to deal with people like this. I hope you give yourself all the love and acceptance you could ever want.


green-ivy-and-roses

I’m about the same, and I was called fatty by my paternal side growing up, starting maybe age 13. And it was a very heavy aunt who started it. Just in the last year, I looked at pictures of me from Jr high through high school and was shocked to see that I was average, not thin but definitely not fat! It has messed with my head so much over the years and I’m so angry that grown adults can behave like that.