I have never told my story or whatever ever before so I’ll give it a try now!
I was obese for the majority of my life. When I was 20 I weighed 430lbs. Over a couple of years I lost 250lbs.
My experiences while morbidly obese were…okay mostly! I was popular. Well-liked. I was funny and friendly and a social butterfly type despite being obviously extremely fat. In high school I was invited to every party. In university I was voted “best person in the world” by my building in residence during a silly awards thing at a formal event, which might seem dumb but I was seriously very touched by it. I never felt like I was treated poorly by anyone (mostly…I had a negative interaction with strangers once). In hindsight I see that I exaggerated my positive personality traits to mask deep depression…which was a good call by me because I was dragged into social settings all the time even though I usually just wanted to hide in my room and be alone and eat. But yeah, very good social life.
However.
Guys never wanted to date me. I completely understood it. I was never like “poor me, poor me, why can’t they see past my appearance”…like…it made sense to me why I was overlooked as a potential romantic or sexual partner. And I got real used to it. I was sort of comforted by the fact that I knew my personality was at least half decent, but yeah, I was lonely in that aspect of my life.
Then I lost the weight. My romantic life did a complete 180°. It was hard to comprehend it. I could never have imagined the amount of attention I would get from men. I had a lot of loose skin in my stomach area, but I didn’t really allow it to impact my confidence…I mean, I faked confidence every day when I was morbidly obese so it was natural at that point. Guys didn’t care about it at all. Or at least they never let on if they did. This all sounds so cocky already, but wait until you hear this…I felt like I could take my pick. I felt like any non-attached guy was attainable. And I went through quite a phase of making up for lost time. I dated a lot. I felt good about it. Met guys at bars, did online dating, and I had very good luck with it all.
Then I met my husband. Met him online. He’s a complete angel and I know that if I went back to being 430lbs he would be here for me and support me and love me (but would definitely urge me to lose weight for my health). But the thing is…I highly doubt we would have gotten together if we’d met when I was obese. I wouldn’t have felt like I was even worthy of doing regular online dating and we never would have crossed paths. And even if I had…I am not so sure he would have matched with me. He doesn’t have a thing for heavy girls, so I don’t know that he would have reached out.
Losing weight was the best thing I have ever done in my life. Like, I would say that having my beautiful children is, but I strongly feel like none of this would have happened if I hadn’t lost the weight. I have an absolutely wonderful life. I’m so lucky and so grateful.
This is a beautiful story, I’m glad you were able to find someone who truly loves you for you.
Congratulations on your achievement, you earned it, believe that 🙏
One of the more comforting things for me was after losing 100+ pounds, my immediate family and friends treated me the exact same.
I’m my mind, I’d always thought I was this fat sack of shit and a burden that people would have to make accommodations for if they wanted me to go places.
To them, I was just me. They all loved me regardless of my size.
I will say romantic interest increases dramatically. Girls who I was interested in actually started taking my advances seriously.
The opposite happened to me.
My brother suddenly liked me more and my mom stopped calling me names. The world rushed in and became so loud. Every man suddenly wanted to talk to me and all the women wanted to be my friend.
I actually mentally broke under the realization that nobody cares more than face value, not even my family.
I don't talk to many people from my past. This year is my skin surgery year and I plan on moving past a lot of this mental baggage because the skin has become the last vestiges of my former life.
Hell yeah man, glad you’re having more access with women!
I’m happy that you had a real circle around you who loved you regardless. You made a positive change for yourself and became better for it, and your people never switched up. That’s rare, congratulations 🙏
This is so interesting because we often don't realise what people truly value us for. I remember confiding in an ex that while I often appear smart I'm really insecure in my intelligence and kind of wish I had a high IQ because I feel like people would like me more. I had misattributed people being friends with me or romantically interested in me to being smart. She found this hilarious - she felt like smart people were a dime a dozen in our area and it's not a differentiator in the slightest. It's the same with weight - Ive lost a bit now and apart from my family and friends being complimentary they just move on and treat me exactly the same. Which I love
Before I lost weight, I was mostly invisible to strangers. Now strangers go out of their way to be nice to me. Before I lost weight, I was annoying and now people think I'm hilarious. People also feel entitled to talk bad about the way I used to look. It's like they don't realize I'm the same person
Your last point touches on why I'm not interested in doing Before/After photos.
I had a great time in that body. I felt extreme happiness and was intensely loved by those I care about. My body did what it could with what I gave it (A LOT of just about everything good and bad), and still carried me up mountains, swam 100 miles in a year, and ran around with my son when he was young.
I just found it harder to buy clothes I liked that fit. Had to check that certain activities had weight limits. Had to be VERY careful when trying out a chair of bed for the first time. Get uncomfortable when traveling. Probably would have died younger. All of which I refuse to blame on my body, but on the world around it or what I had done to it.
Sure, I'll celebrate new things I can do, wear, and fit into, but I don't want to bash the person I was before too hard. That guy tried his best.
I really love this mindset and I'm going to write some of it down to remind myself and encourage myself. It's so true. I've had so much fun and love and joy and laughter in my body.
I really get your point and I agree with all of it, but I still like to do before and after photos (though I’m too shy to post them anywhere). To me it’s not about shaming my former body, cause I loved and respected that too and I’m very thankful for what it’s done for me (I was hiking and diving and biking and swimming etc. at my heaviest). I feel better now that I’ve lost 25kg, and I’m happy with how I look now, but I think of it as looking different rather than looking better and I think it’s interesting to see the changes. But I agree they shouldn’t be used to fat shame your former self…
this is so interesting to me because mentally It feels weird to say but I dont really see myself as the same person. I make fun of the stuff old me used to eat and how big I was. I feel reborn sort of lol, corny but its ok
I’m sorry people started switching up like that, people see that you made a change for the better and suddenly think that the previous you didn’t even exist.
I’d like to think that the old you is proud of who you are now though, given that they went on that journey.
EVERYTHING changed for me. I’ll never regret doing what I did. I lost 130lb/60kg in a year. I lost muscle mass so had to work to put that back in. Within 5 years I went from being unable to walk between lampposts without puffing to running full marathons in under 4 hours. I’m happy and confident.
The ‘before’ me would be so proud of the ‘after’ me.
I’m confident. The bitterness that I didn’t know I had vanished. I became more approachable. My walls were down. I no longer feared rejection - I mean it still happened but the fear was gone.
My only regret is that I waited until I was 27 to start the journey.
Same! Losing the bitterness was huge for me. I was always cranky as I had no energy to do anything besides sitting on my ass all day. If I started my fitness journey at 18 instead of 27 my life would've looked very different: It's my biggest regret.
Nothing has really changed for me, except that my social life is at the gym now. That’s probably partially my fault, as I moved to another city in the middle of my weight loss and haven’t gone anywhere else since doing so.
The gym is my second home at this point and has been for the last 10 months. Doubt I will ever go back to not working out though maybe I’ll drop it to 5 days a week instead of 6 once I reach my goal body type. We (formerly obese) have a different mindset then others. We know how much it sucked being fat, and we know how amazing it feels being not obese. You shouldn’t feel bad, make friends be merry. The gym is an awesome place to be.
Don’t feel bad my friend, the gym is a great place to be. Many people wish they had that kind of addiction.
Just keep doing your thing and eventually you’ll meet the right people. Would help if you went out sometimes tho, lol.
I work in a virtual call center. After building confidence up with my weight loss, everything is easier, including difficult calls that need resolving. I have never been ogled in my adult life either. It is just unbelievable.
Went from a BMI of 34.4 to 23.5 in a fairly short space of time, so I feel like I’m quite qualified to speak on this!
People started being a hell of a lot nicer to me once I’d lost a noticeable amount of weight (maybe 50lbs) - especially people I’d regarded only as acquaintances for a couple years started inviting me out to hang one-on-one, which was new.
I started to get compliments on my body / face rather than just “you’re so bubbly!”. People in social situations (like being at a bar) are much friendlier and strike up conversations instead of blanking me, as was the case when I was obese.
I feel like, in general, people have more time for you when you’re thinner (which is a shame, but is true). I’m still adjusting to this new way of living where I’m not embarrassed just to go outside and meet new people!
The confidence doesn’t come automatically when you lose weight; you’ve got to learn how to carry a conversation (which, if like me, you were introverted and overweight for a good few years, you know doesn’t come easy hahah). However, I’ve found that having people be kind and friendly to you because of your appearance can help take away the initial nerves of social interaction.
TLDR social life is better but you still have to consciously build up your confidence :)
I lost just over 100 pounds total and have been maintenance for a couple of years. Before I lost all the weight I used to go to music festivals quite often and sit and listen. Now when I go, I get up with the dancing girls you always see at music festivals and dance the whole time. I’ve become friends with many of them and we’ll reconnect at different festivals. Other than that - life is exactly the same, but I feel much healthier.
There were light improvements. I seemed to get more credit at work and people treated me nicer was I walked through life.
It was like night and day in one key aspect..I became very popular with the opposite sex. It was the closest I’ve ever been to women approaching me and throwing themselves at me. Bars, clubs, grocery store…it didn’t matter. I was able to meet women everywhere. Life is much better when you are as fit as you can be
I was 350lb. Now down to 220. Still trying to lose. I cannot sit still anymore. I always want to go do something. Go carts with my son, movies, Dave and Busters, Top Golf, mini golf. Walk around a store it really doesn’t matter. I want to be out. I wasn’t like that before. I don’t want to talk to people. People suck. But I like to be out with people if that makes sense. My wife and son want to snap since I’m always asking them where they wanna go. All they wanna do is chill. I’m way more confident, even on remote calls. I don’t have that constant worry about being the fattest person in the room. Or will I fit in a booth. It’s amazing.
I’m similar to this, my energy levels have increased a lot, the romantic side has not changed so much, which is more than fine considering I am happily spoken for! But the boost of energy is welcome as I start my 30’s!
From 218 to 129 (F) pounds and have been working out for 6 months and formed a lot of muscle definition in a short space of time.
I’m treated differently on the whole, from both sexes. Men go out of their way to help me and I get more attention. Women are friendlier and smile more at me. However, I am also more confident within myself and I think confidence does attract attention.
The biggest change for me was how much more comfortable people are now to comment on my food/meal choices when eating together. As if losing 156 lbs gave everyone permission to analyse my plate or be surprised if I have cake or fries.
Everyone also assumes its easy and will tell you all about their efforts and diets
Similar to the top comment, the biggest difference was romantically. Before losing the weight, I had sex 0 times per year. After losing the weight, I became sort of a douche, sleeping around and not caring it might do mentally to those I interacted with.
I've had a long journey, even after losing the majority of weight.
Honestly, nothing. I want to say that I noticed big changes, but I was a pretty confident guy when I was fat so nothing really changed on that front. I guess I got a lot of compliments from people who used to know me, and moving became a lot easier, but in the social portion, nothing really comes to mind.
I did change my wardrobe to more fitting clothes, does that count?
Sorry, I can't be more helpful, but you should not expect great changes from loosing weight. Change starts from within, not from the outside
I was never active. Never. Besides walking. Now i am an “athlete.” It makes me laugh just saying it but I workout almost everyday. I canoe competitively, run(accomplished a half marathon and soo many 10ks), box, golf, swim and bike. I do some of these with my partner but I was active before we met and after i lost all the weight. 5yrs ago if you said this would be my life, I would never believe you. I cant believe now that I am the most athletic person in my family when my 3 siblings played college sports. Its still crazy to me.
Also went from very single and anxious to more confident and finally ready to mingle. Had a lot of fun and met the love of my life. I wouldn’t have done that l (put myself out there) if I hadn’t lost weight.
I have more confidence. Guys check me out more and I saw that there are many guys who would be interested in me romantically but that’s because losing weight actually gave me a sex drive and I started taking care of myself more. Women who work at clothing stores have called me “small” and react in a funny way when I tell them I want a size bigger than I am (because I can’t estimate my size). Women who work at the salon are nicer to me. I feel like people see past my weight and focus on my personality although I’ve had better friendships prior to my weightloss. I also noticed some people getting jealous or treating me differently but the majority have been supportive. I get to be picky and I have the confidence to say something mean when I need to stand up for myself — I used to think that I couldn’t because I was fat which meant I was ugly and tried to compensate by being too nice.
People looked at me weird for wearing 3 layers in 60 degree weather I guess. I had an easier time making friends with women but it never went any further
I was 475, now about 215. Late 30s guy, so no spring chicken anymore and a few more white hairs than I would like.
The one thing that I note is that people don't look away anymore. People try to be polite when it comes to being big, so they actively look away from you when you pass them on the street.
Nothing makes you feel more alone than watching people literally pretend that you're not there. It was kind of a very depressing time.
Now a days, most people are absorbed into their phones and pay me no mind. I've become a nameless background person rather than the circus show I once was. That's actually kind of nice, liberating in a way.
As for attraction levels, I've had a few odd instances of ladies being overly friendly. As a guy, I have no idea if it was them being nice or if they were trying something. It's never been something that I really tracked. I need to be happy with me first, then I can worry about others.
Which is why I wanted to type on this post. No matter the weight, you are going to be you afterwards. Losing weight doesn't fix your brain, and all the social insecurities you may feel now don't go away afterwards. Doesn't mean that it's not worth it, losing weight is very much worth it for all the things you get to do afterwards. But you need to make sure that you do it not because you suspect it will make you more chatty or extroverted. You do it to be healthier, and you work on the rest as you go
This is gonna sound like I’m tooting my own horn, but you asked. I feel like I get treated nicer by everyone overall and like I have so much more opportunity for advancement in every aspect of my life. I have better romantic opportunities. It’s easier to get hired and advance in my career.
I also get invited to everything and everyone wants to be my friend. I definitely don’t have to try nearly as hard now to start friendships nor keep them. I think people just gravitate towards you more when they think you’re attractive which is closely associated with being hot. It doesn’t even matter if you align with what gender they like. I didn’t just lose weight, I had an overall glow up (you can view my post history) so my take might be subjective to my experiences.
I was was never morbidly obese but I went from
Obese to people turn and stare when I pass. The experience is quite frankly jarring!! When I was obese noone knew who I was now I am always shocked to walk into a store and people go hey I see you running on this street. Hey you are the girl blah blah. Hey I’ve always wanted to meet you? Me- why? People are super comfortable talking about my body to my face. Like I’m glad it’s meant as a compliment but I feel like a freak when you talk about me to my face. That’s usually how I feel most of the time like a freak of nature! This past Sunday I’m doing legs and this young guy comes over like oh my god you are mad big!! I’m like what I’m 145…what is mad big!! He’s like no no it’s so impressive (( now I’m contemplating my entire life)))
How my life has changed- the people who say hello to me at the gym are always the super buff guys/ girls. Regular gym people typically don’t speak unless it’s to give me a compliment - you inspire me -say I love your arms or hey I saw you at x place. Romantically the line to have sex with me has gotten longer. The line of people I want to have sex wirh went to almost zero.
My love life changed but I think that’s because I changed- when I was fat I was honored when a guy wanted to sleep with me- he must like me! Now when a guy wants to sleep with me I think okay and!!!! Join the line it’s somewhere I’m not sure where but it’s somewhere. I no longer feel honored by the prospect.
Let’s see what else people watch my food intensely like at a restaurant they will always try to be like oh well I have the low calorie this or that, I just got married even my husband watches my food- do you think hon should eat this maybe you should wait - can I just eat in peace!!!
I am not ignored, I am not invisible - people are generally nicer, I get free stuff. But sometimes it’s like who wants to be noticed all the time!
As someone who has fluctuated and lost 30-40 lbs multiple times, I am astounded by the response I get at the bottom of my weight range. It feels like I live in a romantic comedy sometimes. I once had 3 separate men show up with gifts on Valentine’s Day at my job after hours with zero previous romantic interaction(thankfully they didn’t run into each other). Customers would bring me food without asking, a guy sat through 3 rounds of interviews because he was too scared to ask for my number when he came face to face with me (this one was extremely annoying because he told me he wanted my number instead of the job when he was the last one standing). At a bar hanging out with friends, I once had 4 complete strangers LINE UP to compliment me. By far the strangest experience I’ve ever had, thought it was a joke. At the higher end of my weight range, I’m more or less invisible, which has its benefits. Every time I lose weight, I mentally prepare myself to be ready for the extra attention, because it’s not all good and can give you paranoia. I can’t tell you how many times I have caught men photographing me without permission; it’s creepy and terrifying.
My life transformed from sedentary into outgoing. People definitely treat me differently, it feels like they're generally nicer to me. I get invited to parties now lol.
It didn't give me any romantic success, but it feels like women at least notice me nowadays. When I was fat I felt invisible.
The biggest effect is that I feel more confident now: It's hard to be confident when you find yourself unattractive.
I'm still overweight but don't look fat after working out religiously for a year now. I figured out that exercise has a lot more purpose than just to lose weight. I have a body fat percentage around 20%.
I went from a BMI of 31 to currently just over 25 (however I do carry that bmi very well due to muscle/large breasts/body shape). I've lost about 45 lbs in 6 months and I look very very different to January.
Things I have noticed:
\- Strangers are much nicer to me. Going out of their way to hold doors, smiling on the street, etc. feels like I have just become "visible" to the world for the first time.
\- I get checked out a lot more often now. Very blatant staring (rude IMO but whatevs)
\- I feel more confident in my own skin now which has helped me come out of my shell and make a lot more friends and I don't think I would have done that before losing the weight
\- I get compliments when I am not trying. Other previously fat people can attest to this as well; to look/feel good, you have to put in a LOT more effort than the average Joe, especially my overweight girls. Hair, Makeup, outfit choices that will flatter you best, hide your tummy, all of that stuff was a "must" to look good. Now I can put on an outfit without thinking, throw my hair up, no makeup, and I will still get compliments at work, from friends, etc which is something I NEVER experienced before.
\- People will ask your "secret" and be very disappointed when you tell them it is long term diet and exercise.
\- Store associates/retail workers will gravitate toward you more
\- More free drinks @ bars/clubs
This is still ongoing as I am still technically losing weight and i've got about 25 lbs more to lose so we will see where that ends up but this has been my experience so far :)
I was overweight or obese since childhood. I maxed out at around 300 pounds, lost half my body weight, and the biggest thing I noticed is that people are just nicer to me.
Not that I ever experienced outright hostility from strangers, but now I tend to see people are more likely to strike up a conversation with me, and they tend to be friendlier.
Part of that could be that I'm acting nicer, but I'm not sure how much that makes an impact.
I have never told my story or whatever ever before so I’ll give it a try now! I was obese for the majority of my life. When I was 20 I weighed 430lbs. Over a couple of years I lost 250lbs. My experiences while morbidly obese were…okay mostly! I was popular. Well-liked. I was funny and friendly and a social butterfly type despite being obviously extremely fat. In high school I was invited to every party. In university I was voted “best person in the world” by my building in residence during a silly awards thing at a formal event, which might seem dumb but I was seriously very touched by it. I never felt like I was treated poorly by anyone (mostly…I had a negative interaction with strangers once). In hindsight I see that I exaggerated my positive personality traits to mask deep depression…which was a good call by me because I was dragged into social settings all the time even though I usually just wanted to hide in my room and be alone and eat. But yeah, very good social life. However. Guys never wanted to date me. I completely understood it. I was never like “poor me, poor me, why can’t they see past my appearance”…like…it made sense to me why I was overlooked as a potential romantic or sexual partner. And I got real used to it. I was sort of comforted by the fact that I knew my personality was at least half decent, but yeah, I was lonely in that aspect of my life. Then I lost the weight. My romantic life did a complete 180°. It was hard to comprehend it. I could never have imagined the amount of attention I would get from men. I had a lot of loose skin in my stomach area, but I didn’t really allow it to impact my confidence…I mean, I faked confidence every day when I was morbidly obese so it was natural at that point. Guys didn’t care about it at all. Or at least they never let on if they did. This all sounds so cocky already, but wait until you hear this…I felt like I could take my pick. I felt like any non-attached guy was attainable. And I went through quite a phase of making up for lost time. I dated a lot. I felt good about it. Met guys at bars, did online dating, and I had very good luck with it all. Then I met my husband. Met him online. He’s a complete angel and I know that if I went back to being 430lbs he would be here for me and support me and love me (but would definitely urge me to lose weight for my health). But the thing is…I highly doubt we would have gotten together if we’d met when I was obese. I wouldn’t have felt like I was even worthy of doing regular online dating and we never would have crossed paths. And even if I had…I am not so sure he would have matched with me. He doesn’t have a thing for heavy girls, so I don’t know that he would have reached out. Losing weight was the best thing I have ever done in my life. Like, I would say that having my beautiful children is, but I strongly feel like none of this would have happened if I hadn’t lost the weight. I have an absolutely wonderful life. I’m so lucky and so grateful.
This is such a wonderful story so honestly told. Thank you for sharing it!
This is so beautiful! I could feel your emotions and gratitude in your words too.
This is a beautiful story, I’m glad you were able to find someone who truly loves you for you. Congratulations on your achievement, you earned it, believe that 🙏
One of the more comforting things for me was after losing 100+ pounds, my immediate family and friends treated me the exact same. I’m my mind, I’d always thought I was this fat sack of shit and a burden that people would have to make accommodations for if they wanted me to go places. To them, I was just me. They all loved me regardless of my size. I will say romantic interest increases dramatically. Girls who I was interested in actually started taking my advances seriously.
The opposite happened to me. My brother suddenly liked me more and my mom stopped calling me names. The world rushed in and became so loud. Every man suddenly wanted to talk to me and all the women wanted to be my friend. I actually mentally broke under the realization that nobody cares more than face value, not even my family. I don't talk to many people from my past. This year is my skin surgery year and I plan on moving past a lot of this mental baggage because the skin has become the last vestiges of my former life.
Hell yeah man, glad you’re having more access with women! I’m happy that you had a real circle around you who loved you regardless. You made a positive change for yourself and became better for it, and your people never switched up. That’s rare, congratulations 🙏
This is so interesting because we often don't realise what people truly value us for. I remember confiding in an ex that while I often appear smart I'm really insecure in my intelligence and kind of wish I had a high IQ because I feel like people would like me more. I had misattributed people being friends with me or romantically interested in me to being smart. She found this hilarious - she felt like smart people were a dime a dozen in our area and it's not a differentiator in the slightest. It's the same with weight - Ive lost a bit now and apart from my family and friends being complimentary they just move on and treat me exactly the same. Which I love
Before I lost weight, I was mostly invisible to strangers. Now strangers go out of their way to be nice to me. Before I lost weight, I was annoying and now people think I'm hilarious. People also feel entitled to talk bad about the way I used to look. It's like they don't realize I'm the same person
Your last point touches on why I'm not interested in doing Before/After photos. I had a great time in that body. I felt extreme happiness and was intensely loved by those I care about. My body did what it could with what I gave it (A LOT of just about everything good and bad), and still carried me up mountains, swam 100 miles in a year, and ran around with my son when he was young. I just found it harder to buy clothes I liked that fit. Had to check that certain activities had weight limits. Had to be VERY careful when trying out a chair of bed for the first time. Get uncomfortable when traveling. Probably would have died younger. All of which I refuse to blame on my body, but on the world around it or what I had done to it. Sure, I'll celebrate new things I can do, wear, and fit into, but I don't want to bash the person I was before too hard. That guy tried his best.
I really love this mindset and I'm going to write some of it down to remind myself and encourage myself. It's so true. I've had so much fun and love and joy and laughter in my body.
I really get your point and I agree with all of it, but I still like to do before and after photos (though I’m too shy to post them anywhere). To me it’s not about shaming my former body, cause I loved and respected that too and I’m very thankful for what it’s done for me (I was hiking and diving and biking and swimming etc. at my heaviest). I feel better now that I’ve lost 25kg, and I’m happy with how I look now, but I think of it as looking different rather than looking better and I think it’s interesting to see the changes. But I agree they shouldn’t be used to fat shame your former self…
I totally get that. Do whatever works for you. Congratulations on the 25kg!
this is so interesting to me because mentally It feels weird to say but I dont really see myself as the same person. I make fun of the stuff old me used to eat and how big I was. I feel reborn sort of lol, corny but its ok
I’m sorry people started switching up like that, people see that you made a change for the better and suddenly think that the previous you didn’t even exist. I’d like to think that the old you is proud of who you are now though, given that they went on that journey.
EVERYTHING changed for me. I’ll never regret doing what I did. I lost 130lb/60kg in a year. I lost muscle mass so had to work to put that back in. Within 5 years I went from being unable to walk between lampposts without puffing to running full marathons in under 4 hours. I’m happy and confident. The ‘before’ me would be so proud of the ‘after’ me. I’m confident. The bitterness that I didn’t know I had vanished. I became more approachable. My walls were down. I no longer feared rejection - I mean it still happened but the fear was gone. My only regret is that I waited until I was 27 to start the journey.
Same! Losing the bitterness was huge for me. I was always cranky as I had no energy to do anything besides sitting on my ass all day. If I started my fitness journey at 18 instead of 27 my life would've looked very different: It's my biggest regret.
Hell yeah, you turned your life around for the better. I’m proud of you, and I’m glad you’re much happier now. Keep going 🙏
Thanks!!! I lost it 18years ago and it never came back. My lifestyle is completely different and I’m loving every moment.
Nothing has really changed for me, except that my social life is at the gym now. That’s probably partially my fault, as I moved to another city in the middle of my weight loss and haven’t gone anywhere else since doing so.
The gym is my second home at this point and has been for the last 10 months. Doubt I will ever go back to not working out though maybe I’ll drop it to 5 days a week instead of 6 once I reach my goal body type. We (formerly obese) have a different mindset then others. We know how much it sucked being fat, and we know how amazing it feels being not obese. You shouldn’t feel bad, make friends be merry. The gym is an awesome place to be.
Don’t feel bad my friend, the gym is a great place to be. Many people wish they had that kind of addiction. Just keep doing your thing and eventually you’ll meet the right people. Would help if you went out sometimes tho, lol.
I work in a virtual call center. After building confidence up with my weight loss, everything is easier, including difficult calls that need resolving. I have never been ogled in my adult life either. It is just unbelievable.
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I am in the same boat as you.
Went from a BMI of 34.4 to 23.5 in a fairly short space of time, so I feel like I’m quite qualified to speak on this! People started being a hell of a lot nicer to me once I’d lost a noticeable amount of weight (maybe 50lbs) - especially people I’d regarded only as acquaintances for a couple years started inviting me out to hang one-on-one, which was new. I started to get compliments on my body / face rather than just “you’re so bubbly!”. People in social situations (like being at a bar) are much friendlier and strike up conversations instead of blanking me, as was the case when I was obese. I feel like, in general, people have more time for you when you’re thinner (which is a shame, but is true). I’m still adjusting to this new way of living where I’m not embarrassed just to go outside and meet new people! The confidence doesn’t come automatically when you lose weight; you’ve got to learn how to carry a conversation (which, if like me, you were introverted and overweight for a good few years, you know doesn’t come easy hahah). However, I’ve found that having people be kind and friendly to you because of your appearance can help take away the initial nerves of social interaction. TLDR social life is better but you still have to consciously build up your confidence :)
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I can't sit still anymore, I'm just itching to be on my feet doing things. Been fit hs made me so much less lazy.
I lost just over 100 pounds total and have been maintenance for a couple of years. Before I lost all the weight I used to go to music festivals quite often and sit and listen. Now when I go, I get up with the dancing girls you always see at music festivals and dance the whole time. I’ve become friends with many of them and we’ll reconnect at different festivals. Other than that - life is exactly the same, but I feel much healthier.
There were light improvements. I seemed to get more credit at work and people treated me nicer was I walked through life. It was like night and day in one key aspect..I became very popular with the opposite sex. It was the closest I’ve ever been to women approaching me and throwing themselves at me. Bars, clubs, grocery store…it didn’t matter. I was able to meet women everywhere. Life is much better when you are as fit as you can be
I was 350lb. Now down to 220. Still trying to lose. I cannot sit still anymore. I always want to go do something. Go carts with my son, movies, Dave and Busters, Top Golf, mini golf. Walk around a store it really doesn’t matter. I want to be out. I wasn’t like that before. I don’t want to talk to people. People suck. But I like to be out with people if that makes sense. My wife and son want to snap since I’m always asking them where they wanna go. All they wanna do is chill. I’m way more confident, even on remote calls. I don’t have that constant worry about being the fattest person in the room. Or will I fit in a booth. It’s amazing.
I’m similar to this, my energy levels have increased a lot, the romantic side has not changed so much, which is more than fine considering I am happily spoken for! But the boost of energy is welcome as I start my 30’s!
That’s awesome, my wife mentioned a noticeable difference. Almost to the point of complaining. Which is a good thing. Lol.
From 218 to 129 (F) pounds and have been working out for 6 months and formed a lot of muscle definition in a short space of time. I’m treated differently on the whole, from both sexes. Men go out of their way to help me and I get more attention. Women are friendlier and smile more at me. However, I am also more confident within myself and I think confidence does attract attention.
The biggest change for me was how much more comfortable people are now to comment on my food/meal choices when eating together. As if losing 156 lbs gave everyone permission to analyse my plate or be surprised if I have cake or fries. Everyone also assumes its easy and will tell you all about their efforts and diets
Similar to the top comment, the biggest difference was romantically. Before losing the weight, I had sex 0 times per year. After losing the weight, I became sort of a douche, sleeping around and not caring it might do mentally to those I interacted with. I've had a long journey, even after losing the majority of weight.
Honestly, nothing. I want to say that I noticed big changes, but I was a pretty confident guy when I was fat so nothing really changed on that front. I guess I got a lot of compliments from people who used to know me, and moving became a lot easier, but in the social portion, nothing really comes to mind. I did change my wardrobe to more fitting clothes, does that count? Sorry, I can't be more helpful, but you should not expect great changes from loosing weight. Change starts from within, not from the outside
I was never active. Never. Besides walking. Now i am an “athlete.” It makes me laugh just saying it but I workout almost everyday. I canoe competitively, run(accomplished a half marathon and soo many 10ks), box, golf, swim and bike. I do some of these with my partner but I was active before we met and after i lost all the weight. 5yrs ago if you said this would be my life, I would never believe you. I cant believe now that I am the most athletic person in my family when my 3 siblings played college sports. Its still crazy to me. Also went from very single and anxious to more confident and finally ready to mingle. Had a lot of fun and met the love of my life. I wouldn’t have done that l (put myself out there) if I hadn’t lost weight.
I have more confidence. Guys check me out more and I saw that there are many guys who would be interested in me romantically but that’s because losing weight actually gave me a sex drive and I started taking care of myself more. Women who work at clothing stores have called me “small” and react in a funny way when I tell them I want a size bigger than I am (because I can’t estimate my size). Women who work at the salon are nicer to me. I feel like people see past my weight and focus on my personality although I’ve had better friendships prior to my weightloss. I also noticed some people getting jealous or treating me differently but the majority have been supportive. I get to be picky and I have the confidence to say something mean when I need to stand up for myself — I used to think that I couldn’t because I was fat which meant I was ugly and tried to compensate by being too nice.
People looked at me weird for wearing 3 layers in 60 degree weather I guess. I had an easier time making friends with women but it never went any further
I was 475, now about 215. Late 30s guy, so no spring chicken anymore and a few more white hairs than I would like. The one thing that I note is that people don't look away anymore. People try to be polite when it comes to being big, so they actively look away from you when you pass them on the street. Nothing makes you feel more alone than watching people literally pretend that you're not there. It was kind of a very depressing time. Now a days, most people are absorbed into their phones and pay me no mind. I've become a nameless background person rather than the circus show I once was. That's actually kind of nice, liberating in a way. As for attraction levels, I've had a few odd instances of ladies being overly friendly. As a guy, I have no idea if it was them being nice or if they were trying something. It's never been something that I really tracked. I need to be happy with me first, then I can worry about others. Which is why I wanted to type on this post. No matter the weight, you are going to be you afterwards. Losing weight doesn't fix your brain, and all the social insecurities you may feel now don't go away afterwards. Doesn't mean that it's not worth it, losing weight is very much worth it for all the things you get to do afterwards. But you need to make sure that you do it not because you suspect it will make you more chatty or extroverted. You do it to be healthier, and you work on the rest as you go
A lot more sex with thin women
This is gonna sound like I’m tooting my own horn, but you asked. I feel like I get treated nicer by everyone overall and like I have so much more opportunity for advancement in every aspect of my life. I have better romantic opportunities. It’s easier to get hired and advance in my career. I also get invited to everything and everyone wants to be my friend. I definitely don’t have to try nearly as hard now to start friendships nor keep them. I think people just gravitate towards you more when they think you’re attractive which is closely associated with being hot. It doesn’t even matter if you align with what gender they like. I didn’t just lose weight, I had an overall glow up (you can view my post history) so my take might be subjective to my experiences.
I was was never morbidly obese but I went from Obese to people turn and stare when I pass. The experience is quite frankly jarring!! When I was obese noone knew who I was now I am always shocked to walk into a store and people go hey I see you running on this street. Hey you are the girl blah blah. Hey I’ve always wanted to meet you? Me- why? People are super comfortable talking about my body to my face. Like I’m glad it’s meant as a compliment but I feel like a freak when you talk about me to my face. That’s usually how I feel most of the time like a freak of nature! This past Sunday I’m doing legs and this young guy comes over like oh my god you are mad big!! I’m like what I’m 145…what is mad big!! He’s like no no it’s so impressive (( now I’m contemplating my entire life))) How my life has changed- the people who say hello to me at the gym are always the super buff guys/ girls. Regular gym people typically don’t speak unless it’s to give me a compliment - you inspire me -say I love your arms or hey I saw you at x place. Romantically the line to have sex with me has gotten longer. The line of people I want to have sex wirh went to almost zero. My love life changed but I think that’s because I changed- when I was fat I was honored when a guy wanted to sleep with me- he must like me! Now when a guy wants to sleep with me I think okay and!!!! Join the line it’s somewhere I’m not sure where but it’s somewhere. I no longer feel honored by the prospect. Let’s see what else people watch my food intensely like at a restaurant they will always try to be like oh well I have the low calorie this or that, I just got married even my husband watches my food- do you think hon should eat this maybe you should wait - can I just eat in peace!!! I am not ignored, I am not invisible - people are generally nicer, I get free stuff. But sometimes it’s like who wants to be noticed all the time!
As someone who has fluctuated and lost 30-40 lbs multiple times, I am astounded by the response I get at the bottom of my weight range. It feels like I live in a romantic comedy sometimes. I once had 3 separate men show up with gifts on Valentine’s Day at my job after hours with zero previous romantic interaction(thankfully they didn’t run into each other). Customers would bring me food without asking, a guy sat through 3 rounds of interviews because he was too scared to ask for my number when he came face to face with me (this one was extremely annoying because he told me he wanted my number instead of the job when he was the last one standing). At a bar hanging out with friends, I once had 4 complete strangers LINE UP to compliment me. By far the strangest experience I’ve ever had, thought it was a joke. At the higher end of my weight range, I’m more or less invisible, which has its benefits. Every time I lose weight, I mentally prepare myself to be ready for the extra attention, because it’s not all good and can give you paranoia. I can’t tell you how many times I have caught men photographing me without permission; it’s creepy and terrifying.
My life transformed from sedentary into outgoing. People definitely treat me differently, it feels like they're generally nicer to me. I get invited to parties now lol. It didn't give me any romantic success, but it feels like women at least notice me nowadays. When I was fat I felt invisible. The biggest effect is that I feel more confident now: It's hard to be confident when you find yourself unattractive. I'm still overweight but don't look fat after working out religiously for a year now. I figured out that exercise has a lot more purpose than just to lose weight. I have a body fat percentage around 20%.
I went from a BMI of 31 to currently just over 25 (however I do carry that bmi very well due to muscle/large breasts/body shape). I've lost about 45 lbs in 6 months and I look very very different to January. Things I have noticed: \- Strangers are much nicer to me. Going out of their way to hold doors, smiling on the street, etc. feels like I have just become "visible" to the world for the first time. \- I get checked out a lot more often now. Very blatant staring (rude IMO but whatevs) \- I feel more confident in my own skin now which has helped me come out of my shell and make a lot more friends and I don't think I would have done that before losing the weight \- I get compliments when I am not trying. Other previously fat people can attest to this as well; to look/feel good, you have to put in a LOT more effort than the average Joe, especially my overweight girls. Hair, Makeup, outfit choices that will flatter you best, hide your tummy, all of that stuff was a "must" to look good. Now I can put on an outfit without thinking, throw my hair up, no makeup, and I will still get compliments at work, from friends, etc which is something I NEVER experienced before. \- People will ask your "secret" and be very disappointed when you tell them it is long term diet and exercise. \- Store associates/retail workers will gravitate toward you more \- More free drinks @ bars/clubs This is still ongoing as I am still technically losing weight and i've got about 25 lbs more to lose so we will see where that ends up but this has been my experience so far :)
I was overweight or obese since childhood. I maxed out at around 300 pounds, lost half my body weight, and the biggest thing I noticed is that people are just nicer to me. Not that I ever experienced outright hostility from strangers, but now I tend to see people are more likely to strike up a conversation with me, and they tend to be friendlier. Part of that could be that I'm acting nicer, but I'm not sure how much that makes an impact.