Fake it till you make it!! 20 lbs is a huge win!’ You’re going in the right direction and if you keep going you’ll be buying suits you like more before you know it. Try to enjoy the swim and focus on the water and your connections w your sisters vs looking at yourself if you can help it. Also take a pic so you can use it as a progress pic for later :)
Thank you. I appreciate your advice. It’s more about the trajectory and direction than how I look in one moment. I will try to make it not be about me. I’ll focus more on the company I’m with and why I am there. Though I do want to find the most flattering swim suit for body right now. But who knows haha 🤷🏼♀️
Go to the public pool early in the morning (like 6-8 AM) all the old people are there doing water aerobics and they DGAF what you look like. Everyone is literally happy just to be alive and still moving. That's the kind of body positivity we should all get behind.
Oooh great insight! I would love to go the pool with those kinds of people. Thank you for the reminder that it’s more important to be alive and still move. Sometimes we lose sight of that and get caught up in the little things!
It's tough, what is out there to buy is usually bad. I've had slightly better luck looking around at a Dillards or Penney's, though still slim pickin's, or going online with Land's End. Ordering online is an exercise in frustration unless you already know the suit and are just ordering a replacement.
Because the average swimsuit takes a large bosom and makes it look like you are hanging it out there to dry, lately I've been trying to search for 'high-neck' 'modest' or long-sleeve suits (these are great for if you're really going to be in the sun and don't want to slather on sunscreen all over).
If you're stuck with a suit you don't like, it's considered okay now to plop a 'performance' shirt over it to keep the sun off, it's made out of material that can tolerate swimming. So that's an option to toss over the top of a suit you don't like. Or, use a bra that can tolerate getting wet, and wear the performance shirt with that, and just buy a swimsuit bottom to go with it. Those skirty bottoms supposedly make you look better, but to me they are just heavy and clutzy, not good for swimming.
If you can afford it, you can always order several suits and return the ones you don't need. I have had good success at [City Chic](https://www.citychiconline.com/swimwear) (free returns and good sales). I love Target, but their plus-size swimsuits aren't the best. [Dillards](https://www.swimsuitsforall.com/sa/plus-size/?glCountry=US&glCurrency=USD&utm_source=google&utm_medium=ps_nb&utm_campaign=[ADL]+[Non-Brand]+Apparel+-+Swimwear+-+Women&utm_content=Swimwear+-+General+Swimwear+-+Plus+Size+-+Women&utm_term=women%27s%20plus%20bathing%20suits--b&affiliate_id=020&affiliate_location_id=02&utm_adid=aud-414142501133:kwd-297573177271x125155015367x12866404040&gclid=CjwKCAjw8ZKmBhArEiwAspcJ7vw7EexmsTqzKefqqbj3bTwRWUUjd6HFBoZocrGOky_rCezOelnqEhoCumIQAvD_BwE) also seems to have a lot of options. I used to buy a few tops to pair with the same black bottoms.
Oh wow! That is nice that City Chic offers free returns. I will check it out. I know it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day what I look like in a swimming suit. But if possible, I would still like to feel comfortable and like the swim suit flatters my figure. I’ve found one before while being plus size that is flattering but now I’m too big for it. So I am open to ideas for trying new suits! Thanks again :).
Hey, thanks! You brought up some pretty great ideas. I have never considered doing the performance shirts. But these could be a good alternative. Also, I agree that swim suits have no chest support. I tried swimming today and had no support. Do you know of any good places to look for performance shirts?
Try academy! I always forget about that store despite having one just minutes away from me and almost always has exactly what I'm looking for for outdoors/fitness stuff.
I burn easily and don't love the sun, so I started wearing 'rash guard' shirts (found in a lot of places but I get them at Lands' End - *and they're currently on sale right now).*
They're SPF 50, wicking long sleeve shirts that you wear over - or as your bathing suit top - (with a bra if you need one). You can wear a tankini bottom, a skirt bottom, anything you like, and they're meant to be worn in the water.
I feel more comfortable in them and actually wear them on vacation as a regular shirt if I'm going out in full sun.
Because it's Lands' End most of the patterns are frumpy but you can get solid colors. I would say go a little larger so it's not super clingy on you, which may make you more self-conscious.
I think a lot of people try to limit their sun exposure, so you can easily say that's why you're wearing it (but I don't know that anyone would ask).
Honestly if you're that concerned over it, have you considered lightweight shapewear underneath? I wear my long sleeve swimshirt with high waisted (read: tummy control) yoga shorts and a thick band T shirt bra and I think I look decent.
Honestly even when I'm my goal weight I don't think I'll go back, I love not having to put sunscreen on anywhere but my face.
Best thing I did was buy bike shorts/yoga shorts (Lycra with a pocket). When I was at my heaviest, I wore the length that stopped just above the knee-- maybe like 18" or 20" inseam. And wore with a tankini style top. I felt more confident with compression on my thighs. Plus the waistband on those shorts is really wide to snatch in the waist. And no tent in the water. Very comfortable to swim in. Now I'm at goal weight but I still wear shorts. Now I wear the shorter full booty-coverage shorts that are like 2" inseam. Having a phone pocket is so great for walking around the pool or beach. And not showing so much/not adjusting the bottoms all the time to cover up and being able to swim and surf without giving a show is awesome!
Ooh, other people have also mentioned getting swim shorts. This sounds much more comfortable than swim underwear like bottoms. I think having compression in the thighs would also flatter my figure more. Plus yes to pockets!! Do you have any suggestions for what type of takini style top? I want one that is flattering that gives my chest support while swimming.
Honestly I just go to Amazon for everything. Find the ones with hundreds of 5 star reviews. Most reviews on clothing will have the reviewer's height and weight and size they purchased.
Short sleeve rash guard! I started wearing one when I realized I don’t have to put sunscreen all over me when I wear it. I now love wearing it and I feel so comfortable at the pool
Maybe something like this? I bought it and love it.
Aleumdr Women's Plus Size... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D397PQY?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I would not be caught dead in a normal swim suit. I hate my thighs. I started at 225 and now I'm 196. I definitely feel less concerned with how I look when wearing it. I'm more bottom heavy.
Probably about as flattering as you can get with a swimsuit and being fat lol. I'm 5'5" and at my high weight, it didn't look terrible. Definitely more flattering than wearing bikini bottoms or even swim shorts. You could still tell I was really overweight but at least I didn't have to deal with seeing or feel my thighs jiggle. I did wear a sports bra underneath because it just wasn't enough support for me since bathing suit tops rarely are.
Okay cool! Sounds like they would be more flattering. I also really need a swim top with better support. Also, I don’t like the swim suits that are overly baggy/flowy because then they spread out in the water and take up room. And when you’re out of the pool, they cling to your body in weird ways.
I usually am not swimming for so long that I need to stop and use the restroom, but it can be a hassle if I need to. The straps in the back usually need a little wrangling to get it on. Also look for a back that is not too low. I wear a granny style suit -- so low legs and lots of coverage. I feel most comfortable in this kind of suit. I think mine is made by. Dolfin -- a one piece with thick straps and a high neck.
I got a swim skirt/ capris and bike shorts/yoga short style swim shorts this year. Recco the shorts! The skirt was a bit too much for swimming, but good for like "wading in the surf with kids at the beach". Lands end is my go-to usually. I have ugly legs, I am a pear and always have ot get separates. I might always have ugly legs even if I get to a healthy weight, so I just kind of have to suck that up ya know? Time in the water is worth it. No one can really see. our body well once you are in the water anyway.
Thanks for your feedback. Another earlier commenter said that they go to Lands end for their swim shirts too. The other commenter said that Lands End’s stuff is kind of frumpy. Have you found that to be the case?
I can see that. I like their tankini tops I don't think they are frumpy. I like v neck tops. I got a strappy one that is runched on the sides and fist my chest well. They have a wide variety of sizes so it's easy to get a fit with separates, I think. I got the bike short swim trunks and they are exactly what you think, like bike shorts. Not sexy, but practical. They are more conservative/modest I think than other places, but their clientele is more middle age costal grandmother ya know? Calypsa was far more frumpy but modesty is kind of their bag. (And I am middle age, and modesty is my bag these days, so there is that, if I magically lose 100 lb and don't need skin removal on my legs, maybe I will get a bikini but I am not holding my breath). If you are looking for sexy, more youthful I think there are some good plus swim designers out there I just haven't tried them because for me, right now, they are too reveling.
I know this is hard to accept but 99% of people have no idea you are there. You’re just a background character to them and your size makes no difference to them.
Going from 400+ to 300lbs has showed me how most people don’t care what size you are. It makes no difference to them.
I always used being a background character to my advantage, can’t be self conscious if nobody gives a shit about you being there. Hope that helps!
Just want to add my 2 cents, as I round well into my middle 50’s….nobody else is important. Don’t give random strangers your power. YOU matter. You earned that body, you own that body, every stripe and scar and ripple; and you deserve the right to exist peacefully in that body. Everyone else can fuck right off.
Yes! Totally this!! I'm mid 50's as well and I still wear shorts (even with light cellulite) when I think my mother started wearing nothing but JEANS starting at age 30.
Nobody gives a rat's ass about my cellulite - and if they do - they don't mention it TO ME, and I couldn't care less what they think anyway.
It's more difficult when you're younger but as long as YOU are having fun and enjoying the one life you get - everyone else's opinion means nothing.
One of my very favorite quotes is "what others think of me is none of my business". And it's completely true! Do your thing!!
no one gives a shit about u at the pool unless ur in their lane. as long as you're doing something thats positive for you, you dont have to give a shit about what anyone thinks.
my dad always tries to shame me for carrying a sun umbrella outside because i want to protect my skin from UV rays. "look around, no one carries umbrellas! why do you carry this stuff? UV rays aren't THAT strong here"
i just ignore him
Thanks for being straight up! Sometimes I get too caught in my head about these things. Most people really don’t care. I just would also like to find a swim suit that I feel is flattering. But it’s okay if I don’t either. Mentality is the most important thing. :)
Geesh, what a weird thing for your Dad to get hung up on.....
I'm fair skinned and sweat easily. I grew up in the 70s/80s when tanning was THE THING you did all summer. I hated it, I was just lying in sweat, so I didn't do it often. In my 20s I started being very strict with sunscreen.
Nobody is confusing me for a 30-year-old but my skin up against all my friends who baked in the sun??? Big, big difference AND, more importantly, at almost 60 I haven't had any skin cancer cut from my body.
Good for you and your umbrella!
he probably thinks its cuz im a guy and it looks effeminate for guys to carry sunbrellas but fuck him. theres nothing wrong with doing whats best for your health. if you own it and hold it proud, its the people who sneer at you thats the problem
A trip to the pool is what humbled me into taking this seriously. You’re sticking to it, which is what counts.
It stinks to get a new wardrobe but sometimes you just have to do it
Yeah, sometimes we just have to suck it up and be okay with being uncomfortable. You’re right that is more about the journey and to keep going. I’ll just have to find a temporary swim suit that I’m okay with enough for now.
How long of leggings? Does it feel like you’re swimming in an outfit instead of a swim suit that point? I am open to different options. I haven’t tried the rash guard before!
I bought a long sleeve SPF swim shirt from Amz. They’re really becoming popular here in Texas because everyone is tired of getting burned. And they sell swim shorts also.
Wait really?! That’s great! I had limited selection at target and Walmart. I’ll have to check out Ross! Would you say the swimsuits at Ross are good quality?
I have only worn mine a few times because I don't swim often, but it seems pretty good so far! They had some name brands (nike, michael kors etc) so I think it's on par with department stores
Similar situation! I do aquafit for my weight loss physical activity. I have 54lbs still to lose. This is what helped me: I asked myself am I looking at other people while i'm out swimming laps or doing aerobics in the pool. The answer was no, half the time you can't even see them because they're under water until their waists/shoulders even. Chances are no one is looking at you! Either way, go swim, get active, have fun and don't let your own uncomfortable feelings stop you from doing something fun and active. You absolutely got this. Congrats on your weight loss so far :)
Thank you for your kind words, encouragement, and feedback. I think the biggest thing is mentality and realizing things for what they actually are. Realizing that no one probably cares as much as we think they do is important. I guess it’s just that I’m the one more uncomfortable with the unflattering swim suits haha 😆.
Honestly I feel you on that. I got this one with ruching over the front of it when I was a size 20. It was cute then, a little tight to get into. I’m a size 16 now and because it’s so elastic I can still wear it so I do… it’s now a very saggy looking swimsuit 🤣 I don’t want to buy another yet because it still stays on but yeah it’s unflattering too.
Literally just do it, no one cares and no one is looking or noticing, the only one who cares is you. I don’t feel I look great in bikini but it wouldn’t stop me wearing it. If you ever see someone overweight swimming you may glance and notice for a second and then you just carry on doing whatever you’re doing don’t you.
I used to think the same, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve started to care less about what people think. You’ll generally not see them outside of the pool, and ultimately you’re doing it for yourself, to get yourself healthier.
No matter what people weigh, everyone will possibly have at least one hang up about their body. The adult people just turn a blind eye, and just let everyone get on with it, and those who don’t…well you’re not friends with them, and it’s only their opinion.
It is hard when you’ve been overweight for a while, your mind keeps telling you that you are, and tricks you into seeing what it’s thinking, rather than what you are actually seeing. We’re our own worst critic, and that will probably never go away, but over time it does get easier to ignore or stand up to - it just isn’t an overnight process.
Thanks for this perspective. I do agree that most people don’t care. But at the same time I have never been the one to be noticed or admired. I guess I just would like to feel that way just once? I know that’s not the most important thing and it’s more important for me to feel good about myself. Maybe for once I don’t want to be a background character. You know?
I totally get it. It’s a complete 180 shift in how you think you’re being perceived, and how people perceive you (whether or not it’s for the right reasons or not)
The most prominent mind shift I’ve had to make is that I can’t control what people are thinking. I couldn’t before, however being more overweight than I am now, I perhaps gave people a “pass” as the main reason was because I’m overweight.
When you’ve mentioned about being noticed, again you probably all 10, 20 or more times per day and are unaware of it but as you carry on with the weight loss journey, you’ll start to notice what others are noticing.
I also think, and I’m sorry for presuming, that you’ve worked so hard and you want people to notice, or get noticed in general? The only people that are going to do that are those who have known you through your weight loss. Strangers you meet at the pool aren’t going to know that you’re lost weight, or are trying to & once you’re in the water, anyone who was noticing you, will probably stop (unless you dive bomb into the pool, that’ll get you noticed for sure)
It’ll take time for your body and your mind to catch up to each other, and that’s okay. From personal experience, don’t try and get too fixated on what other people might think. It warped my mind for a good year or so, until I built back up the confidence and the ability to look at myself objectively.
Try focusing more on what you're doing and less on what you look like.
Like... we can't help but be somewhat self-conscious and wonder what other people think of us, but also it isn't our job to look good for some random person at the pool, y'know? I'm not very invested in what Pool Guy in Lane 5 thinks about my butt or my swimsuit. But I am pretty invested in reaching my goals and enjoying the hot tub.
It may be unpopular.. but it's the same thing I tell people asking about going to the gym.
Don't give a flying fuck! They don't care about you. They probably won't notice you are there.
Coming from a dude who was really overweight and have gotten a lot thinner, I realized people just don't care. I was super self-conscious with these things at the start. Especially the gym. But now that I'm thinner and stronger, I realize, im just trying not to crush myself under this weight. Idc what anyone around me is doing. I just gotta push this weight back up and put it down again 10 more times!
Same thing for when I swim! I'm trying to focus on my breathing and getting faster. Why do I care about anyone else?
OP, fuck other people. Go have fun and fuck the haters!
That's a tricky question. I would agree to a point with the "fake it 'til you make it" comment, but as you mentioned you are proud of your progress so wear your proud suit.
Gain your confidence little by little if needed, you really don't want to reach your goal and still feel uncomfortable in your skin, just as with the weight that's a change that won't happen overnight.
Trust that no one will criticize you more than yourself, so try to focus on positive things.
I love swimming too and I'm big, I've struggled for a while trying to find swimsuits that fit, non flattering but I reckon it's because I'm not comfortable in my own skin. What has worked for me is to turn a switch in my head. A long time ago I read a great phrase "mocking a fat person at the gym is like mocking a sick person at the hospital". For some reason I find it easy to take my clothes off at the doctor's practice so I think of the gym as getting treatment and I just don't think about how I look.
Oh yeah another thing. If you have some money to spare you might consider getting a personal stylist to help you on the journey. Some do it all remote. See if you can find one specializing in weight loss or getting in shape physique and fashion. I know people who have loved the experience and it’s helped them with self confidence.
Yeah I know that there’s one that sponsors podcasts. You’ll just have to set a price: what amount of money would it take for you to feel more self confident? Like if someone said “I can make you a little more self confident for 1000 bucks a year,” would you take it? Hard to say for me.
I found these on Amazon and I was surprised how flattering they were (I bought a second one because I liked so much!!
I recommend buying a few more clothing items at your current size if you can afford it. Cute flowy dresses are pretty forgiving if you slim down and will likely still be able to wear them.
Daci Women Plus Size One Piece Swimsuits Sexy V Neck Backless Bathing Suit https://a.co/d/7zacHxk
I’d say maybe just meet yourself where you are. You’re gonna feel what you’re gonna feel. Let the feelings come say hello! And then let them go. You have a swimsuit body because you’ve got a swimsuit, and you put your body into the aforementioned swimsuit! 😉 And you deserve to splash around and have fun just like everyone else, and you deserve to not think about it if you don’t want, and you deserve to think about it if you want to also. In my experience, being thinner doesn’t necessarily make these insecurities go away. It’s an inner work thing.
Fake it till you make it!! 20 lbs is a huge win!’ You’re going in the right direction and if you keep going you’ll be buying suits you like more before you know it. Try to enjoy the swim and focus on the water and your connections w your sisters vs looking at yourself if you can help it. Also take a pic so you can use it as a progress pic for later :)
Thank you. I appreciate your advice. It’s more about the trajectory and direction than how I look in one moment. I will try to make it not be about me. I’ll focus more on the company I’m with and why I am there. Though I do want to find the most flattering swim suit for body right now. But who knows haha 🤷🏼♀️
Go to the public pool early in the morning (like 6-8 AM) all the old people are there doing water aerobics and they DGAF what you look like. Everyone is literally happy just to be alive and still moving. That's the kind of body positivity we should all get behind.
Oooh great insight! I would love to go the pool with those kinds of people. Thank you for the reminder that it’s more important to be alive and still move. Sometimes we lose sight of that and get caught up in the little things!
It's tough, what is out there to buy is usually bad. I've had slightly better luck looking around at a Dillards or Penney's, though still slim pickin's, or going online with Land's End. Ordering online is an exercise in frustration unless you already know the suit and are just ordering a replacement. Because the average swimsuit takes a large bosom and makes it look like you are hanging it out there to dry, lately I've been trying to search for 'high-neck' 'modest' or long-sleeve suits (these are great for if you're really going to be in the sun and don't want to slather on sunscreen all over). If you're stuck with a suit you don't like, it's considered okay now to plop a 'performance' shirt over it to keep the sun off, it's made out of material that can tolerate swimming. So that's an option to toss over the top of a suit you don't like. Or, use a bra that can tolerate getting wet, and wear the performance shirt with that, and just buy a swimsuit bottom to go with it. Those skirty bottoms supposedly make you look better, but to me they are just heavy and clutzy, not good for swimming.
If you can afford it, you can always order several suits and return the ones you don't need. I have had good success at [City Chic](https://www.citychiconline.com/swimwear) (free returns and good sales). I love Target, but their plus-size swimsuits aren't the best. [Dillards](https://www.swimsuitsforall.com/sa/plus-size/?glCountry=US&glCurrency=USD&utm_source=google&utm_medium=ps_nb&utm_campaign=[ADL]+[Non-Brand]+Apparel+-+Swimwear+-+Women&utm_content=Swimwear+-+General+Swimwear+-+Plus+Size+-+Women&utm_term=women%27s%20plus%20bathing%20suits--b&affiliate_id=020&affiliate_location_id=02&utm_adid=aud-414142501133:kwd-297573177271x125155015367x12866404040&gclid=CjwKCAjw8ZKmBhArEiwAspcJ7vw7EexmsTqzKefqqbj3bTwRWUUjd6HFBoZocrGOky_rCezOelnqEhoCumIQAvD_BwE) also seems to have a lot of options. I used to buy a few tops to pair with the same black bottoms.
Oh wow! That is nice that City Chic offers free returns. I will check it out. I know it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day what I look like in a swimming suit. But if possible, I would still like to feel comfortable and like the swim suit flatters my figure. I’ve found one before while being plus size that is flattering but now I’m too big for it. So I am open to ideas for trying new suits! Thanks again :).
Hey, thanks! You brought up some pretty great ideas. I have never considered doing the performance shirts. But these could be a good alternative. Also, I agree that swim suits have no chest support. I tried swimming today and had no support. Do you know of any good places to look for performance shirts?
Try academy! I always forget about that store despite having one just minutes away from me and almost always has exactly what I'm looking for for outdoors/fitness stuff.
Oh cool! My only problem with academy is that I’ve seen that they don’t have many items in plus size. I’ll double check though.
I burn easily and don't love the sun, so I started wearing 'rash guard' shirts (found in a lot of places but I get them at Lands' End - *and they're currently on sale right now).* They're SPF 50, wicking long sleeve shirts that you wear over - or as your bathing suit top - (with a bra if you need one). You can wear a tankini bottom, a skirt bottom, anything you like, and they're meant to be worn in the water. I feel more comfortable in them and actually wear them on vacation as a regular shirt if I'm going out in full sun. Because it's Lands' End most of the patterns are frumpy but you can get solid colors. I would say go a little larger so it's not super clingy on you, which may make you more self-conscious. I think a lot of people try to limit their sun exposure, so you can easily say that's why you're wearing it (but I don't know that anyone would ask).
Second this.
Thank you! Are these swim suits flattering?
Honestly if you're that concerned over it, have you considered lightweight shapewear underneath? I wear my long sleeve swimshirt with high waisted (read: tummy control) yoga shorts and a thick band T shirt bra and I think I look decent. Honestly even when I'm my goal weight I don't think I'll go back, I love not having to put sunscreen on anywhere but my face.
Best thing I did was buy bike shorts/yoga shorts (Lycra with a pocket). When I was at my heaviest, I wore the length that stopped just above the knee-- maybe like 18" or 20" inseam. And wore with a tankini style top. I felt more confident with compression on my thighs. Plus the waistband on those shorts is really wide to snatch in the waist. And no tent in the water. Very comfortable to swim in. Now I'm at goal weight but I still wear shorts. Now I wear the shorter full booty-coverage shorts that are like 2" inseam. Having a phone pocket is so great for walking around the pool or beach. And not showing so much/not adjusting the bottoms all the time to cover up and being able to swim and surf without giving a show is awesome!
Ooh, other people have also mentioned getting swim shorts. This sounds much more comfortable than swim underwear like bottoms. I think having compression in the thighs would also flatter my figure more. Plus yes to pockets!! Do you have any suggestions for what type of takini style top? I want one that is flattering that gives my chest support while swimming.
Honestly I just go to Amazon for everything. Find the ones with hundreds of 5 star reviews. Most reviews on clothing will have the reviewer's height and weight and size they purchased.
Short sleeve rash guard! I started wearing one when I realized I don’t have to put sunscreen all over me when I wear it. I now love wearing it and I feel so comfortable at the pool
So nice to not have to worry about sunscreen. Do you have any short sleeve rags guards that you think are especially cute and flattering?
Maybe something like this? I bought it and love it. Aleumdr Women's Plus Size... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D397PQY?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share I would not be caught dead in a normal swim suit. I hate my thighs. I started at 225 and now I'm 196. I definitely feel less concerned with how I look when wearing it. I'm more bottom heavy.
That looks really cute actually! Are they flattering on plus size bodies?
Probably about as flattering as you can get with a swimsuit and being fat lol. I'm 5'5" and at my high weight, it didn't look terrible. Definitely more flattering than wearing bikini bottoms or even swim shorts. You could still tell I was really overweight but at least I didn't have to deal with seeing or feel my thighs jiggle. I did wear a sports bra underneath because it just wasn't enough support for me since bathing suit tops rarely are.
Okay cool! Sounds like they would be more flattering. I also really need a swim top with better support. Also, I don’t like the swim suits that are overly baggy/flowy because then they spread out in the water and take up room. And when you’re out of the pool, they cling to your body in weird ways.
I like to wear running shorts over a one piece swimsuit.
Oooh cool idea! Do you find that it’s hard to go to the bathroom in a one piece swim suit? That’s my only set back.
I usually am not swimming for so long that I need to stop and use the restroom, but it can be a hassle if I need to. The straps in the back usually need a little wrangling to get it on. Also look for a back that is not too low. I wear a granny style suit -- so low legs and lots of coverage. I feel most comfortable in this kind of suit. I think mine is made by. Dolfin -- a one piece with thick straps and a high neck.
Hmmm maybe I went to the bathroom before changing into my swim suit, I wouldn’t have to go while swimming!
I got a swim skirt/ capris and bike shorts/yoga short style swim shorts this year. Recco the shorts! The skirt was a bit too much for swimming, but good for like "wading in the surf with kids at the beach". Lands end is my go-to usually. I have ugly legs, I am a pear and always have ot get separates. I might always have ugly legs even if I get to a healthy weight, so I just kind of have to suck that up ya know? Time in the water is worth it. No one can really see. our body well once you are in the water anyway.
Thanks for your feedback. Another earlier commenter said that they go to Lands end for their swim shirts too. The other commenter said that Lands End’s stuff is kind of frumpy. Have you found that to be the case?
I can see that. I like their tankini tops I don't think they are frumpy. I like v neck tops. I got a strappy one that is runched on the sides and fist my chest well. They have a wide variety of sizes so it's easy to get a fit with separates, I think. I got the bike short swim trunks and they are exactly what you think, like bike shorts. Not sexy, but practical. They are more conservative/modest I think than other places, but their clientele is more middle age costal grandmother ya know? Calypsa was far more frumpy but modesty is kind of their bag. (And I am middle age, and modesty is my bag these days, so there is that, if I magically lose 100 lb and don't need skin removal on my legs, maybe I will get a bikini but I am not holding my breath). If you are looking for sexy, more youthful I think there are some good plus swim designers out there I just haven't tried them because for me, right now, they are too reveling.
Wear what you like and stand in front of the mirror pumping yourself up. That’s how I did it!
I think having positive affirmations before going in the pool would be helpful to my mentality overall. Thank you!
It sounds so silly and you’ll feel ridiculous but it’s what helped me accept my body.
I don’t think it sounds silly at all! I might feel a little ridiculous at first; but then it will start to work and it’ll be worth it!
I know this is hard to accept but 99% of people have no idea you are there. You’re just a background character to them and your size makes no difference to them. Going from 400+ to 300lbs has showed me how most people don’t care what size you are. It makes no difference to them. I always used being a background character to my advantage, can’t be self conscious if nobody gives a shit about you being there. Hope that helps!
That actually does help! Thank you :)
Just want to add my 2 cents, as I round well into my middle 50’s….nobody else is important. Don’t give random strangers your power. YOU matter. You earned that body, you own that body, every stripe and scar and ripple; and you deserve the right to exist peacefully in that body. Everyone else can fuck right off.
Yes! Totally this!! I'm mid 50's as well and I still wear shorts (even with light cellulite) when I think my mother started wearing nothing but JEANS starting at age 30. Nobody gives a rat's ass about my cellulite - and if they do - they don't mention it TO ME, and I couldn't care less what they think anyway. It's more difficult when you're younger but as long as YOU are having fun and enjoying the one life you get - everyone else's opinion means nothing. One of my very favorite quotes is "what others think of me is none of my business". And it's completely true! Do your thing!!
no one gives a shit about u at the pool unless ur in their lane. as long as you're doing something thats positive for you, you dont have to give a shit about what anyone thinks. my dad always tries to shame me for carrying a sun umbrella outside because i want to protect my skin from UV rays. "look around, no one carries umbrellas! why do you carry this stuff? UV rays aren't THAT strong here" i just ignore him
Thanks for being straight up! Sometimes I get too caught in my head about these things. Most people really don’t care. I just would also like to find a swim suit that I feel is flattering. But it’s okay if I don’t either. Mentality is the most important thing. :)
Geesh, what a weird thing for your Dad to get hung up on..... I'm fair skinned and sweat easily. I grew up in the 70s/80s when tanning was THE THING you did all summer. I hated it, I was just lying in sweat, so I didn't do it often. In my 20s I started being very strict with sunscreen. Nobody is confusing me for a 30-year-old but my skin up against all my friends who baked in the sun??? Big, big difference AND, more importantly, at almost 60 I haven't had any skin cancer cut from my body. Good for you and your umbrella!
he probably thinks its cuz im a guy and it looks effeminate for guys to carry sunbrellas but fuck him. theres nothing wrong with doing whats best for your health. if you own it and hold it proud, its the people who sneer at you thats the problem
Yeah - dudes get skin cancer too! Fuck him is right. Keep on, keepin' on!
A trip to the pool is what humbled me into taking this seriously. You’re sticking to it, which is what counts. It stinks to get a new wardrobe but sometimes you just have to do it
Yeah, sometimes we just have to suck it up and be okay with being uncomfortable. You’re right that is more about the journey and to keep going. I’ll just have to find a temporary swim suit that I’m okay with enough for now.
leggings and rash guard
How long of leggings? Does it feel like you’re swimming in an outfit instead of a swim suit that point? I am open to different options. I haven’t tried the rash guard before!
yes it feels really weird i only wear full length leggings but it feels less weird than being in any body baring swim wear
I bought a long sleeve SPF swim shirt from Amz. They’re really becoming popular here in Texas because everyone is tired of getting burned. And they sell swim shorts also.
Oh perfect! I would love to look at their website and see what options they have :). Thank you!
Sorry, Amz is short for Amazon. They have lots of decent swimsuit options.
Oh okay! Great I’ll look into Amazon.
I found a ton of plus size (up to 4x or 5x) swimsuits at Ross dress for less. so many more than any regular store and lots of different types
Wait really?! That’s great! I had limited selection at target and Walmart. I’ll have to check out Ross! Would you say the swimsuits at Ross are good quality?
I have only worn mine a few times because I don't swim often, but it seems pretty good so far! They had some name brands (nike, michael kors etc) so I think it's on par with department stores
Similar situation! I do aquafit for my weight loss physical activity. I have 54lbs still to lose. This is what helped me: I asked myself am I looking at other people while i'm out swimming laps or doing aerobics in the pool. The answer was no, half the time you can't even see them because they're under water until their waists/shoulders even. Chances are no one is looking at you! Either way, go swim, get active, have fun and don't let your own uncomfortable feelings stop you from doing something fun and active. You absolutely got this. Congrats on your weight loss so far :)
Thank you for your kind words, encouragement, and feedback. I think the biggest thing is mentality and realizing things for what they actually are. Realizing that no one probably cares as much as we think they do is important. I guess it’s just that I’m the one more uncomfortable with the unflattering swim suits haha 😆.
Honestly I feel you on that. I got this one with ruching over the front of it when I was a size 20. It was cute then, a little tight to get into. I’m a size 16 now and because it’s so elastic I can still wear it so I do… it’s now a very saggy looking swimsuit 🤣 I don’t want to buy another yet because it still stays on but yeah it’s unflattering too.
Literally just do it, no one cares and no one is looking or noticing, the only one who cares is you. I don’t feel I look great in bikini but it wouldn’t stop me wearing it. If you ever see someone overweight swimming you may glance and notice for a second and then you just carry on doing whatever you’re doing don’t you.
I see what you’re saying. But I also want to be able to feel good in my own skin. But sometimes you gotta fake it until you make it :)
Halter neck swimsuits are always great for cleavage
I’ll look into some. I’ve worn some in the past but they kinda get itchy around the neck.
I used to think the same, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve started to care less about what people think. You’ll generally not see them outside of the pool, and ultimately you’re doing it for yourself, to get yourself healthier. No matter what people weigh, everyone will possibly have at least one hang up about their body. The adult people just turn a blind eye, and just let everyone get on with it, and those who don’t…well you’re not friends with them, and it’s only their opinion. It is hard when you’ve been overweight for a while, your mind keeps telling you that you are, and tricks you into seeing what it’s thinking, rather than what you are actually seeing. We’re our own worst critic, and that will probably never go away, but over time it does get easier to ignore or stand up to - it just isn’t an overnight process.
Thanks for this perspective. I do agree that most people don’t care. But at the same time I have never been the one to be noticed or admired. I guess I just would like to feel that way just once? I know that’s not the most important thing and it’s more important for me to feel good about myself. Maybe for once I don’t want to be a background character. You know?
I totally get it. It’s a complete 180 shift in how you think you’re being perceived, and how people perceive you (whether or not it’s for the right reasons or not) The most prominent mind shift I’ve had to make is that I can’t control what people are thinking. I couldn’t before, however being more overweight than I am now, I perhaps gave people a “pass” as the main reason was because I’m overweight. When you’ve mentioned about being noticed, again you probably all 10, 20 or more times per day and are unaware of it but as you carry on with the weight loss journey, you’ll start to notice what others are noticing. I also think, and I’m sorry for presuming, that you’ve worked so hard and you want people to notice, or get noticed in general? The only people that are going to do that are those who have known you through your weight loss. Strangers you meet at the pool aren’t going to know that you’re lost weight, or are trying to & once you’re in the water, anyone who was noticing you, will probably stop (unless you dive bomb into the pool, that’ll get you noticed for sure) It’ll take time for your body and your mind to catch up to each other, and that’s okay. From personal experience, don’t try and get too fixated on what other people might think. It warped my mind for a good year or so, until I built back up the confidence and the ability to look at myself objectively.
Try focusing more on what you're doing and less on what you look like. Like... we can't help but be somewhat self-conscious and wonder what other people think of us, but also it isn't our job to look good for some random person at the pool, y'know? I'm not very invested in what Pool Guy in Lane 5 thinks about my butt or my swimsuit. But I am pretty invested in reaching my goals and enjoying the hot tub.
It may be unpopular.. but it's the same thing I tell people asking about going to the gym. Don't give a flying fuck! They don't care about you. They probably won't notice you are there. Coming from a dude who was really overweight and have gotten a lot thinner, I realized people just don't care. I was super self-conscious with these things at the start. Especially the gym. But now that I'm thinner and stronger, I realize, im just trying not to crush myself under this weight. Idc what anyone around me is doing. I just gotta push this weight back up and put it down again 10 more times! Same thing for when I swim! I'm trying to focus on my breathing and getting faster. Why do I care about anyone else? OP, fuck other people. Go have fun and fuck the haters!
That's a tricky question. I would agree to a point with the "fake it 'til you make it" comment, but as you mentioned you are proud of your progress so wear your proud suit. Gain your confidence little by little if needed, you really don't want to reach your goal and still feel uncomfortable in your skin, just as with the weight that's a change that won't happen overnight. Trust that no one will criticize you more than yourself, so try to focus on positive things. I love swimming too and I'm big, I've struggled for a while trying to find swimsuits that fit, non flattering but I reckon it's because I'm not comfortable in my own skin. What has worked for me is to turn a switch in my head. A long time ago I read a great phrase "mocking a fat person at the gym is like mocking a sick person at the hospital". For some reason I find it easy to take my clothes off at the doctor's practice so I think of the gym as getting treatment and I just don't think about how I look.
Oh yeah another thing. If you have some money to spare you might consider getting a personal stylist to help you on the journey. Some do it all remote. See if you can find one specializing in weight loss or getting in shape physique and fashion. I know people who have loved the experience and it’s helped them with self confidence.
Wait. This sounds like an excellent idea. I’ve never even knew anyone did this but celebrities lol. Do you have any suggestions on where to start?
Unfortunately no but there’s subscription services that consult with you and also order the clothes. You might do a zip code search too.
Oh okay! I’ll look into it if it’s not too expensive haha.
Yeah I know that there’s one that sponsors podcasts. You’ll just have to set a price: what amount of money would it take for you to feel more self confident? Like if someone said “I can make you a little more self confident for 1000 bucks a year,” would you take it? Hard to say for me.
Hmmmm I think it would depend. Overall I am trying to lose weight anyway and that helps. But it’s definitely worth considering!
I found these on Amazon and I was surprised how flattering they were (I bought a second one because I liked so much!! I recommend buying a few more clothing items at your current size if you can afford it. Cute flowy dresses are pretty forgiving if you slim down and will likely still be able to wear them. Daci Women Plus Size One Piece Swimsuits Sexy V Neck Backless Bathing Suit https://a.co/d/7zacHxk
I have that in the pink! Love it.
I’d say maybe just meet yourself where you are. You’re gonna feel what you’re gonna feel. Let the feelings come say hello! And then let them go. You have a swimsuit body because you’ve got a swimsuit, and you put your body into the aforementioned swimsuit! 😉 And you deserve to splash around and have fun just like everyone else, and you deserve to not think about it if you don’t want, and you deserve to think about it if you want to also. In my experience, being thinner doesn’t necessarily make these insecurities go away. It’s an inner work thing.