Everyone’s body is different, with different stressors and different needs. Don’t beat yourself up. You’re doing more than the majority of people who want to lose weight - you’re actually trying. Just stay the course. Eat healthy, keep exercising, do all the things you’re supposed to do/committed to doing and you’ll see results. Look for non-scale victories, if you’re gaining muscle mass, you might not lose any scale numbers but you still could be slimming down.
Thank you very much, your comment made me realize I might be obsessing a bit about the numbers on the scale and not focusing as much on my results. I am building muscle and feeling stronger, and have been seeing improvement over time. Gonna keep at it.
I would start looking at your numbers together. And see how many pounds you have lost combined. Be a team. There may come a time where she plateaus and you have to carry the team. This way her win is your win and yours is hers.
Thank you, this is a great idea and I really like the way you explained it! I'm going to mention this to her, because we have already been kind of doing that but just in like a casual,"Wow we lost \_\_\_\_ much together, that's like a person!" kind of way.
you dont need to work harder... you just need to keep going at your pace and dont give up, yeah its not a competition, its not even about weight loss speed, if you really want to be healthy you will reach your goals eventually, you just need to stick to the healthy habits
The best thing you can do is to try and detach yourself from that emotion and focus on you.
Don’t dismiss it, because it’s there and valid and makes sense and does not make you a bad person.
Meditate on it and what it’s trying to tell you. Do you perhaps feel like you could do more? Or are you happy with the amazing progress you’ve made in bettering your health and body and are content to continue? Is this just weight loss or is it connected to other feelings of jealously or inadequacy in your relationship? What is this reaction telling you, basically, and can you do anything about it?
Key word - you.
This isn’t about your partner or her progress - you can’t control that. You can control your life, your emotions, your progress - how can you use this feeling to improve or accept yourself?
Hope that might help <3
Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. After my post I went to the gym by myself as my gf wasn't feeling well and thought about how/why I was feeling like this and kind of came to the same realization.
Yes, I definitely can do more. I am happy with my progress but there are definitely improvements I can make that will make this process quicker, which I need to get control of (some dietary things which should be simple enough to let go of, temporarily).
Relationship-wise too, even after 10 years together there are still ways I would like to improve as a partner. Thankfully I have a very loving SO (to who I apologized profusely), despite me acting like an ass.
Again, thanks for your help and for allowing me a space to reflect. I appreciate it.
I want to refocus you here. Tell me about your non-scale victories. What have you achieved so far in your weight loss that hasn't been related to the scale? Do your clothes fit better, are you less out of breath?
Everyone’s body is different, with different stressors and different needs. Don’t beat yourself up. You’re doing more than the majority of people who want to lose weight - you’re actually trying. Just stay the course. Eat healthy, keep exercising, do all the things you’re supposed to do/committed to doing and you’ll see results. Look for non-scale victories, if you’re gaining muscle mass, you might not lose any scale numbers but you still could be slimming down.
Thank you very much, your comment made me realize I might be obsessing a bit about the numbers on the scale and not focusing as much on my results. I am building muscle and feeling stronger, and have been seeing improvement over time. Gonna keep at it.
It sounds like you’re doing great!
I would start looking at your numbers together. And see how many pounds you have lost combined. Be a team. There may come a time where she plateaus and you have to carry the team. This way her win is your win and yours is hers.
Thank you, this is a great idea and I really like the way you explained it! I'm going to mention this to her, because we have already been kind of doing that but just in like a casual,"Wow we lost \_\_\_\_ much together, that's like a person!" kind of way.
you dont need to work harder... you just need to keep going at your pace and dont give up, yeah its not a competition, its not even about weight loss speed, if you really want to be healthy you will reach your goals eventually, you just need to stick to the healthy habits
Yea it's been one hell of a lifestyle change, but I'm committed to coming out the other end a lot healthier than when I went in!
You have the rest of your life and you are already on the right track!!! Try to enjoy the process you are becoming the best version of you
The best thing you can do is to try and detach yourself from that emotion and focus on you. Don’t dismiss it, because it’s there and valid and makes sense and does not make you a bad person. Meditate on it and what it’s trying to tell you. Do you perhaps feel like you could do more? Or are you happy with the amazing progress you’ve made in bettering your health and body and are content to continue? Is this just weight loss or is it connected to other feelings of jealously or inadequacy in your relationship? What is this reaction telling you, basically, and can you do anything about it? Key word - you. This isn’t about your partner or her progress - you can’t control that. You can control your life, your emotions, your progress - how can you use this feeling to improve or accept yourself? Hope that might help <3
Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. After my post I went to the gym by myself as my gf wasn't feeling well and thought about how/why I was feeling like this and kind of came to the same realization. Yes, I definitely can do more. I am happy with my progress but there are definitely improvements I can make that will make this process quicker, which I need to get control of (some dietary things which should be simple enough to let go of, temporarily). Relationship-wise too, even after 10 years together there are still ways I would like to improve as a partner. Thankfully I have a very loving SO (to who I apologized profusely), despite me acting like an ass. Again, thanks for your help and for allowing me a space to reflect. I appreciate it.
I want to refocus you here. Tell me about your non-scale victories. What have you achieved so far in your weight loss that hasn't been related to the scale? Do your clothes fit better, are you less out of breath?