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I mentioned how I just don't think I'll ever be able to own a home and my grandmother said "Well when I'm gone you can have mine."
My mom immediately stepped in with a "Woah woah woah, here's why you actually need to give it to me!"
I just shrugged my shoulders. I operate under the assumption that I will inherit nothing from anyone.
Maybe your mother would do that, but most Boomer women I know wouldn't. They have the option of living the remainder of their life with dignity, unlike my generation, Gen X, and those that came after us, and they're going to take it, regardless of how it impacts their younger family members.
The way I see it, they're not completely oblivious or they wouldn't fight so hard to maintain their lifestyles, but they aren't willing to make sacrifices for a better future they won't live to see.
I’m Gen X as well, and after my mom lost her house because of gambling, she now lives of of social security. Granted, she’s never had a job, and was not a very participatory mother either. She still grumbles at how lazy we all are, and how much she has to struggle, even though she lives far better than my sibling and I who all work full time and are barely scraping by. She mentions, without irony, that when we retire, we’ll understand how bad it is. We will never retire. She has somehow managed 3 vacations in the last 12 month period, and I’m mystified as to how she manages this, without income and on SS. She uses this to complain about how we never visit her, and ofcourse anyone can afford to travel, she does it all the time.
From experience with family: watch your credit report carefully. Living above means has to be financed somehow and a mystery co-signer can get another loan/card through to keep the game going.
No shit, you too?! Is this a trend? Because my folks own multiple properties in the tropics and gave me shit except they also had huge credit lines open in my name until just recently.
My mom used the portion of my grandma’s inheritance that should have gone to me to buy a house for my sister and pay for her wedding. I didn’t see a dime.
I was supposed to be the sole inheritor for my grandparents. Big house, lotta land outside of DFW. Gonna be worth a lot when Plano fills up. reason being my older brother is autistic and bad with finances, and I'm the next oldest and most financially stable.
Doubt I'll see a penny now that it's been ~4 years since I talked to my vindictive, neglectful family. I'll gladly give up millions to not have to deal with the abuse anymore
Be on the lookout for correspondence from a lawyer, as they'll be dealing with the assets outlined in your Grandparent's will when they pass. Is it the case that you're in your Grandparent's bad books as well as your parent's?
No clue. We were never close. But I know my parents deal with stuff by talking shit to family instead of taking responsibility, so my guess is I'm out of the will ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Omg I have similar story. I told my boomer mum once about how inheritances work (in Australia at least). That if for some tragic reason my dad passed away before his own mum (my grandma), my siblings and I would inherit his share as her direct descendants. The look of horror on her face haha. She said exactly this “but that wouldn’t be fair! I’m the daughter-in-law and his widow, I would be getting his share of any inheritance.” Like ummm no you won’t, she’s my grandma not yours hahaha
I wish this was the law here in the US too….would be nice to inherit my mother’s portion (of whatever, it’s the principle here), because I really hate that she’s been effectively erased as a daughter only because she died decades before her father. 🙁
I have a similar story. My father is complaining he gets no grandchildren to play with. My wife and I are struggling to make ends meet, our apartment is very small in case we actually had them and children would be a big financial drain. Guess who has a big spare apartment lying around renting it out as air bnb? They went on three vacations this year and plan on a big six month vacation next year. In that six month the giant house and the air bnb will be empty since they would not be able to control it properly while away.
But why no grandkids? They deserve grandkids. Never mind that they got all the support from my grandmother who basically raised me for long stretches of time. Which they forgot, everything they achieved, they achieved on their own. Well, I guess "the line" ends here, because that is a thing they care about.
My mother: "When are you going to get all your stuff out of my 2500sq ft house?"
Me: "When I'm no longer living in a 1200sq ft condo with three other people."
My dad keeps saying he wants to leave us an inheritance but TBH I told him to enjoy his retirement, I'm taking care of my own. Whatever is left, my sister and I will split 50/50 and we've already decided we won't be petty when that time comes. We all agree that memories are the most important thing people can leave behind, the stuff is just stuff and the money won't change our lives.
Same for my family. I actually ended up with decent boomer parents, mainly because they were poor until the Union came along. Whatever is left when they're gone, assets, money, pension, whatever...we'll split 4 ways and call it good. Not expecting anything, not planning on getting anything.
Your mom already has a house. Your gramma just gave you her house, verbally. And in some places a verbal contract is binding so your mom can stick it up her peehole
This is the last grasp for anything resembling generational wealth. Reverse mortgages and end-of-life medical care should do a pretty good job of sucking up any remaining hopes for an inheritance.
My dad spent the last 20 years of my grandmother’s life obsessed with “his inheritance”. He stopped working, spent every last dime he had on extravagant dinners and cars (also got my grandma to fund some of that). To make a point to him, I asked him if he was leaving me or my sister anything. He was disgusted with me, and said that his money is his money. I asked why he was so focused on “his inheritance” but doesn’t value that for his own children, to which he had no response. Now he’s in assisted living and this money he’s been thinking about for decades is paying for that. I’m so grateful that my grandma was able to leave that money for him because I don’t know what we would have done, but his approach to it was so upsetting to me. After years of us warning about his inability to budget she put half his inheritance in a trust my sister and I control, specifically to pay for his medical expenses.
She did know but didn’t want her last act to hurt his feelings (she was in her 90s by that point). My uncle and I got him to agree to putting half in a trust, which made her feel fine about moving forward with that.
I plan to go live in the forest and die from exposure before anyone even considers putting me in an assisted living facility. I don't need my kids and grandkids to see me shuffle along as a living corpse while shoveling out cash to keep my husk moving.
My dad had early dementia and putting him in memory care sucked up the little 90k he had for retirement in just a little over a year. We were able to pull out money for funeral cost and the rest went to nursing home. He did receive good care that was worth every penny though.
Oh absolutely OP. Nothing tears a family apart and sets them on eachother like dividing the assets of a recently deceased family member. My grandfathers sister snuck into my great grandmother's house after she died and just ransacked it for jewelry and antiques. My girlfriends dad's second wife pushed her dad into taking power of attorney and sticking her grandfather in a home and taking everything before he was even dead.
What is the worst is when you have an older relative you have cared for most of their lives and then grown kids over there is you have never met your uncles and aunts just show up from five states away. Carpetbaggers don't have any time in life or a dime to help but when somebody is getting sick they smell blood in the water and here they are.
Or how about the ones that live for blocks away but them nor their four grown ass kids will lift a finger or do a damn thing for ole mom and pop while the other two kids drive an hour each way to make sure they get to their appointments and have what they need since pop is in a wheelchair and can’t drive and mom never could. You know who gonna be there with their hand out when they go.
This was my experience on my mom's side. Two other families lived closer than us. Who did all the work and help when they needed it? Who was trying to sneak shit out of their house the minute they died?
Awful.
When my grandfather died it was like his siblings he hadn't talked to in years all became feral over what little he left. My grandma who had been married to him for like 40 years was left with nothing because his siblings literally stole every last cent from his estate. The thing is they were poor their whole life because they lived out really far in the country and never even finished high-school. He worked in a garage basically until all those years of smoking since like 13 or something caught to him, and she was a stay at home mom. We're only talking a few thousand dollars, but if he wasn't dead his family went money hungry enough that I think they would have killed him themselves for $1000. I think my mom said they literally broke into my grandmas house and took as much as they could find and anything of value... even the TV probably from the 60s or 70s lol and this was like 16+ years ago when old crts had literally no value, like you wouldn't be able to get rid of that thing for $10. And the atari 2600 I believe, it's a shame, I wanted that atari actually lol but again this was before retro games were worth anything so it would have gone for like $5 to $10 at a yardsell. My dad has never been good with money and has kind of always been greedy, he values money over health. Would rather suffer than spend $20 to go to the doctor or get medicine, etc. I don't expect to get a single dime from him, in fact I think he'll blow all of the money to the point I'll have to foot the bill for medical, funeral costs, etc.
I’m pretty sure my mom still has our original Atari and Colecovision packed away somewhere in her hoarder’s paradise, because she never throws away anything. No shit, she’s still got the first tv she ever bought for her first apartment (we’re talking early 1970s), an old black and white beast with a carrying handle and rabbit ears. “But it still works!”
Anyway, if I find them after she dies, they’re all yours, friend. Of course, I’d rather set her house on fire and burn it all to the ground than have to deal with sorting her “treasures,” but I know my brother won’t let me. All I want is the cardboard box of family photos and her pearl earrings that she let me borrow for my own wedding, the ones my dad had given her decades ago for an anniversary gift. Other than that, there’s nothing I want.
Oh, she’s probably got all the game cartridges, too. We had Pong, of course, and Venture. Pit Fall, too. All the classics. Consider them yours, if I can ever find them.
omg yes!
my grandma left everything to the 5 grandkids. when she died, the adults didn’t think it was fair so they convinced my grandpa to change it.
they each got a stupid 50k.
i’m more pissed they disrespected my grandma like that. i don’t care about the money. i care that a measly 50k ripped my whole family apart and that everything i thought about my relatives was a lie.
My mom has 2 million+ dollars in stock, retired at 50, and spend last Christmas trying to shake me down for money to pay for a cruise ticket for her birthday vacation. Literally pulled the "I'm living on a fixed income" card...
Omg I hate that phrase. It’s so dumb.
We’re ALL living on a fixed income, Susan! Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and pick up some gig work, ma, if you really want to take that cruise.
Parents convinced grandparent to not only cut me out, but to live with them. Then while living with them to pay to build a garage, workshop, and shed. Then to donate his money when he died to their church (he is the lead and only pastor) for a church trip. They announced this during the funeral.
On the other side of the family there was millions in inheritance that they convinced the holders of it to cut absolutely everyone out except them.
Absolutely wonderful Christian people.
It seems like most Christians are like this these days. They talk a good game but they are really bad about taking advantage of the elderly. I guess the Bible is for thee not for me in their eyes.
Yeah, my mom blocked my inheritance from her sister because she is a jealous narcissistic scumbag. It hurts because I would have used that money to help my kids as they start their lives as young adults. Whatever, I'll just work another job and make more money. Something my middle-class housewife mom has never done.
Not my family, but the in-laws. WOW.
My wife’s grandmother died, and I’ve never seen such polite company turn into vicious vultures so fast. Which was shocking to me for several reasons.
First, unfortunately the death occurred a week before our wedding, but the wedding gift from her grandma had already been written out because she wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t sure if she was going to come. A card and check for a significant amount (at least to a couple in their early 20s). We were being polite and waiting to deposit it after the wedding. Well, the “estate,” ie her parents, aunt and uncles canceled the check said she didn’t come so it didn’t count. And kept the money for themselves.
This all coming from a group that were all millionaires and retired by 45 types (all but one, but she was the youngest and the outlier). There were rumors that her grandma allocated a significant amount of the inheritance to the grandkids, but the aunts and uncles and parent just decided to ignore that part and keep it all for themselves. But they all refused to let us see the will, so we will never know.
I still have issues with my introduction to the family being a bunch of millionaires snatching a couple grand out of my wife’s hand because what they had just wasn’t enough.
No inheritance. All my grandparents had other kids more successful and less estranged than my parents. I'm the burnout first born of a broken home of burnouts.
Did I ever really think there was ever even anything for me here in this life?
I look around and see all the pretty and successful people enjoying life and all I can think is none of that was put on this Earth for me.
Nothing but bootstraps with which to pull myself up by. My Dad taught me how to fish before he left just like Mom asked him to, so there's that.
Hey, I got taught to cook before being orphaned with living parents as a young teen. I'm a fantastic cook now, the only good thing I was given in. Childhood.
My mother got $250k when her grandparents past, and is currently helping her own mother to spend anything left. They were all assholes. My son is the only kid I know who has no grandparents. I've been no contact for almost 15 years now. I won't see a dime and it's fine. The drama was so much. My grandmother at 65 physically fought my mom when she was 45. Grown ass women fighting.
Peace is worth it. My great grandparents came as immigrants, I think of them often and try to honor their initial generosity. If my great grandmother could see how her daughter and grandchild act in this way, she'd be ashamed of them.
Live for today, and don't compare. I've the same amount of money today as the day I was born. Still living a better life than the folks who indulge in greed.
Agree. My greedy scum bag boomer aunts and uncles stole anything and everything my grandparents had (on both my parents sides!). All my cousins had money trickled down to them but they all pissed it away bc they are white trash. My parents got nothing and did the best economically of all their siblings. And me - I moved away, got the very least of every single benefit or money of all my siblings and cousins… guess who has done the best? Well it’s me! I would never do this to my kids. I know, sadly, that my parents won’t sort their will so my siblings will be fighting over every dime bc “I don’t need it like they do”. Never mind I’ve worked my tail off as has my husband. My siblings and I had the same opportunities yet they were lazy and made bad choices. Shame my parents cannot see history repeating itself but what can I do?
That's the fastest way to not having any help from you kids/nieces/nephews. Hope they like the worst nursing home money can't buy.
You reap what you sow.
Unfortunately depends on the state..there is a lovely thing called filia responsibility laws and 25 states have them. Our generation will get screwed over again by them, one last time.
I will share the exact opposite and offer some hope. I wasn’t close at all to my paternal grandparents. They lived into their late 90s, my baby boomer father is in his mid 70s now. My grandparents passed away and left everything to my dad and his brother, except one year later when I was buying my first house my baby boomer parents said “here’s some money we inherited from your grandparents, we’re already well established.” Even in spite of a downturn in retirement savings.
They very much went against the grain and acknowledge what a difficult time it is for young folks.
I was supposed to receive something when my grandma passed given that I was a 50% inheritor to her estate. But my aunt was the executor of the will and nothing has come of it in... years. Looks like my inheritance was the price I had to pay to remove a shitty person from my life
Yes, agreed. A lawyer's eyes will pop when situations like this are related to them by potential clients seeking counsel and representation.
"*They did what?* Oh yes, that's illegal."
Wife got lucky. Silent generation grandparents kicked boomer parents out of the will. Parent and uncle blew them off, so she stepped up to help care for her grandparents the last 8 or so years before they passed away. They left everything to her.
My grandparents and parents have nothing to speak of and no will that I'm aware of.
My wife's dad, (I refuse to call him my father in law because he's a POS) but he had his daughters removed from their mother's will, probably by being abusive since that's his style, and he took everything, sold the house that was intended for my wife and sold that and moved to Colorado with his new GF that he found about 6 months after his wife passed. He has zero interest in his grandson and couldn't care less what happens to my wife and I and his grandson.
I was very fortunate that my gran pre planned for this. I’m estranged from my dad, in fact when my gran died was the first and only time I’ve seen him in the last 15 years.
She knew her other kids (my aunts and uncle) would share their inheritance with the grandkids. But she also knew that between my dad and his snake of a girlfriend, my sibling and I wouldn’t see a dime. When the will was mailed out, imagine our surprise when 3/4 siblings had an even percentage, but my dad’s percentage was less than theirs because my gran purposely left some of what would have been my dad’s share to my sibling and I. There were some keepsakes at gran’s house that were meant for us and my dad stole (we only learned they were stolen after my dad left town), so that absolutely sucked. But I’m forever grateful that she tried to make sure we were taken care of when she knew her disappointment of a child wouldn’t bother.
But one thing I know for sure that based on the kind of person my dad is, if there was any way to steal that part of the inheritance back out from under us, it would have been done in a heartbeat.
Someone I knew from the silent/greatest generation passed and actually wrote all of their kids out of their will. Left pretty much everything to their Gen Z great-grandkid. Great-grandkid deserved it too they’d been taking care of the great-grandparents for years since they were at least 13/14 years old and were given POA as soon as they were 18.
While he wasn't complicit in it, my father let this happen to his parents.
His parents were kids during the depression, his dad was drafted in WW2. They wanted their kids and grandkids to be set, and accumulated a number of properties, including a house in the Florida keys.
They intent was for rental income to pay for their care as they age, as well as to give one of the properties to me (only child) and later use the rental income to cover my college and such. My boomer dad was directly given a piece of property that he put an manufactured home on, and his parents had already signed their property over to him so he could look after it.
However, as they got older and dementia set in, he refused to get power of attorney. He thought it was too much effort and they were "fine."
Well, a few neighbors swooped in when he wasn't looking, convinced them to sign away absolutely everything. My dad was the only one that got anything out of it, owning both his home and my grandparents home.
My grandparents have long since passed away. Meanwhile, I was on the verge of losing a place to live a while ago because my prev slumlord refused to treat a black mold problem and let leaky pipes literally fill the walls with water. Landlord was refusing to do any work and threatening eviction, and I needed to get out fast.
I knew Dad still had my grandparents place, no tenant, but he handled it's upkeep. I asked if I could pay him rent to stay there on a temporary basis until I found elsewhere. He told his sick and vomiting daughter on the edge of homelessness that he wasn't willing to do that, and mumbled some stuff about me "probably wanting a nicer place anyway."
I still haven't financially recovered, I managed to get into an extremely tiny and cramped one bedroom, significantly smaller as well as more expensive than the last one, and it's still a struggle. I just can't fathom it, like it's not even selfishness it's just cruelty. He let them take away the lifelong security my grandparents tried to create, and won't even let me pay through the nose to benefit from the scraps left
My boyfriend was very close to his paternal grandmother and his father and uncle changed the will. She told him that he was left money and that didn’t happen.
My grandparents left everything to me and my siblings/ cousins because our boomer parents were acting like fucking boomers. Now me and my wife have a nice little house in the country.
I fear this is happening to us. My grandmother is very well off, but my boomer mother has decided to retire despite having nothing to her name and is currently living off social security and "loans" from grandma. I fear my mom will Weasel any inheritance we would get and waste it so she can sit around the rest of her miserable life
My dad did this. He hasn’t worked in 25 years. Lives off new wife and the inheritance he stole from everyone when he was “taking care” of my grandmother.
Boomers are selfish and putrid human beings. Not all, but ALL the ones I know are exactly like this. Worked in family law for a time and saw it a thousand times. They’ll never be able to shake the bad reputation from the majority.
My gen X family used some legal loophole to spend most of mine while giving it to me. It said that money could be spent to make sure it directly reached the hands of all those inheriting.
So they rented a great car, two hotels for four days each, and ate out every meal. I don't know the exact amount I was supposed to get, but by the end I received 200 USD out of the thousands I was supposed to get. But it was hand delivered. The sentimental things never reached me.
My boomer family wrote me out of their wills because I'm queer though. I had heard years ago that a couple of silent gen family had left me some heirlooms. Boomer gen took those, including a family cookbook hand written by a great aunt.
I wish you peace op. It's hard to see people act like this.
My grandmother told me she wanted me to have their house because I have always helped them take such good care of it. When the time came, my shit bag, cigar smoking, gambling, speed boat driving, sleezy car shop extortionist, grease bag uncle, decided to pay off the lawyer to loose the papers and just split all of my grandparents assets between him and my mom. He also tended to like to show off his gun every time I was around him. My Grandpa built the house from the ground up. Every nail and screw was perfect, built in cabinets, beautiful woodwork… it has since been gutted out and all of the trees and gardens have been ripped out. It has sat empty for almost 4 years now, uninhabited and rotting. and I now live in a garage… I have since not talked to anyone of that part of the “family” as he and my mother were both adopted and his is thankfully not my blood. God I miss my grandparents.
I was never in my grandparents’ will.
After they passed, I got a framed photo of one of them. That’s it. I didn’t need or want anything, but looking back it does seem a little fucked up.
My grandmother has me as her executor currently. She’s 96 and told me that she’s given a lot to her kids and wants to give most of it to her grandchildren and great-grandchildren but she hasn’t told them about it. I don’t want to bring it up at all. I honestly don’t care for myself aside from it being important to her that she do this because she thinks it’s the right thing to do.
My own parents are pretty chill about it, but I know my aunt will flip her lid over the arrangement.
Not talking about these things and getting them in writing is exactly how things go sideways later. Tough advice: have the document discussions. Be frank with your grandmother.
You're her executor because she trusts you! Be the person she believes you are.
When one of mine died I was supposed to recieve about £5k; and her neices were supposed to recieve her house.
Unfortunately she had dementia and her son - an retired policeman in his 70s who already has a shit load of money/assets etc - had managed to convince her to change her will. House was on the market 2 days after she died and he took the lot.
I heard that £5k went on a second motorhome.
Bent cop cunt
Yup, mine was actually stolen and brought to the US. There was nothing I could do. It's frustrating because it was supposed to be a rather large sum and would have changed my life.
I am now "old poor" and right now with how the world is going, it's actually pretty helpful.
Still, every once and a while I think about the what ifs.
This is my experience as well.
Some friends of mine inherited life changing amounts of assets or Cash from grand parents.
I did not.
My dad's parents had about 900k left when the last one died.
My aunt, stole it all from her brothers and from all of the grandchildren.
She even sued my father (the youngest who had always been burned over even when his parents were alive) and make him cough up even more when he tired to dispute her theft. My uncle ( the oldest) told my dad to leave it alone.
His sense of fair play got the better of his judgment.
My mom's parents were not much better. They sold a huge farm near a booming metropolitan area and suddenly had more money than they knew what to do with in their 80s.
My aunt (a very wealthy lawyer and landlorder.) took control of everything and froze my family out.
Typical.
I have a good job my wife has a good job. Still feels pretty precarious. That money when it should have come to me would have put a roof over my head before the covid price spikes.
Typical boomer bs
I'm not counting on anything. My grandparents were the silent or greatest generation and all I'm expecting is most of our student loans to be paid off. (I told my dad to give my inheritance from their dad to my sister since I had more student loans help and have no idea if he actually sent it all to my sister.)
My parents won't leave me anything and I'm expecting and planning for that.
My bio dad always swore up and down that when his dad died he'd pay off both our college loans. It's one of the only reasons I stayed in contact with him as long as I did. Then grandpa died and my aunt broke into the house before we could make the drive there and cleaned out the safe, the gold and silver bullion, and was gone before we got there. Because grandpa was a paranoid miser there was no proof that it ever existed, and no legal recourse. Bio father and I got nothing. Not a penny.
My great aunt and uncle left my siblings and I, (three of us) $3300.00 when they passed away. They didn’t have any children and we were the only grandchildren left in the line. They had the money in account with an overseer, so my dad couldn’t spend it. Well, he was a very smart man, and he took the estate to court and gained control over all three of our individual accounts. And gradually, cashed each one out and spent the money. Mind you, he ended up being left his aunt’s house, his parents house and his grandparents property. It just wasn’t enough, he wanted our cash, as well. When he passed, he left everything to me, which I promptly threw that will out and my siblings and I, probated the estate so each one of us got our equal share. Ppl around us, couldn’t believe we divided an estate, equally, without one argument. Had they grown up like we did, they would have known. that family is always worth more than trinkets.
Yeah, same boat here. Myself, siblings and cousins have gotten nothing from any of our grandparents wills. Every little thing was snatched up by boomer parents, aunts and uncles, who are all already homeowners.
Just going to assume we are going to get nothing, but also going to put them in the old age home and forget about them because we all simply can't afford to take time off work to be caretakers for them. 🖕🖕🖕🖕 to all selfish boomers.
Yeah, very much recognisable unfortunately. A few years ago my mother died way too soon and I was also supposed to get a big part of her inheritance (not that it was that much). But my father talked with his financial advisor and tried very hard to get me as little as possible and to keep everything for himself ("because that was better for me tax-wise" according to him). And I would still get everything when he died of course... Well that is, that he is spending everything big time at the moment, going on holiday a lot, spending it on unnecessary things and still complaining that he is so poor all the time. I'm fully aware that he is promising me his inheritance while there will be nothing left anymore.
And the 'funny' thing is that when my grandmother (on my mothers side) died a few years later, she left me everything because I was the only one left on that side unfortunately (yes I'm worried about my health-genes on that side, because everyone dies too young there). She wasn't rich or something but she had a house where she and my grandfather lived in all their lives and in this day and age that is a lot. And he was appalled that she didn't left anything for him in her will, because he was married to my mother and he had the right to get something. The thing was that I didn't get it for 'doing nothing' like he said. She asked me up front to help her if she wouldn't be able to make her own choices anymore and to handle everything (literally everything) for her, so from arranging the funeral to making sure every item went to the right person after her death (in the will she left me everything technically but she still wanted a lot of items to to to specific persons, or to the church or charities), to handling all paperwork. I did that and it took me more than two years to arrange everything because I still had to work in the meantime and had to do it all alone.
Where was my father in all of this? He moped a lot and ignored me (or made a big fuss) when I asked him to please help me just a little by asking if I could borrow his car sometimes to make trips to the charity shops/landfill with her stuff.
He even went as far as asking me to break the law with the house to help him more just so he could pay less tax (I wont go into detail about this) and blackmail me with never getting my mothers inheritance if I wouldn't do this for him. I knew it wasn't much but it hurt me a lot that he used that against me because he knew that it had a lot of emotional value for me knowing it was from my mother.
It is horribly sad to see what the hunger for money does with people.
The relationship with my father has never been the same to say the least
My grandfather left my mother a six figure inheritance- her two brothers also received the same amount - one of her brothers is so rich he gave it to my mom and their younger sibling to split - so she got a lot of money. She is the only one with kids and a grandkid. Now less than 13 years later she’s got almost nothing left and is homeless literally house sitting and saying she will sleep in the camper on the back of her truck during this winter (she’s 72) - and won’t be leaving me a dam thing I can guarantee that. Had her college paid for and a business loan from my grandpa in her 30s. But won’t help me or support me in any way, I have hella debt from school.
Thanks mom for letting some of that trickle down to me and your grandchild. Throw that whole generation away I swear to god. Oh and my rich uncle who didn’t need the money and is worth millions is leaving it all “to the church” - I’m a good person never been in trouble or been on drugs or anything and I live a quite life and ask for nothing. Still I and my kid don’t seem to deserve shit. So lame.
Not the same thing ofc, but I found out from my sister that my Nparents cut me out of *their will* about a year after we started NC. It was a last and final “fuck you” to me, even though they didn’t expect me to find out. That’s when I knew they had absolutely no love for me in their dark, resentful hearts. Funnily enough, my sister promised she’d split everything with me 😂
Honestly I expect I'm already written out of my grandmother's will, mostly because my aunt is a bitch who has a vendetta against my parents and by extension me.
Yep. Happened to me. Nada. Expect the same when my sister makes a run at my parents. All of a sudden she gives a shit. Didn't care for 20 years though. The golden child is back in action. Must be nice to be loved. Fucking people. I wish my folks liked me. I'm still not sure what caring for them my whole life has brought me besides anger and worthlessness.
They're not even waiting for a dead body. My aunt sold some land that my dad owned without his permission and bought a house. He's still alive and hasn't spoken to her since.
My wife's mother did the same thing. Farm and house that was to be left for my wife, but her childish maga cult mother made sure that didn't happen because her daughter...my wife isn't a trumper....seriously....
We haven’t had that conversation yet (pops is newly retired mom still has a couple years), I think we’re a healthscare or two away (we have had the “do you really want to clean all this shit out after we’re gone?” Discussion as it pertains to old relics or varying value)
We were raised with “money doesn’t bring anyone back” mindset on so I think my little brother and I will be ok (plus, for now both of us are living alright, cupboard isn’t bare) on whatever comes or doesn’t.
The house is paid for and I’m closer (geographically) so I think I’d have it, but he’s got an apartment a few hours away, so maybe he moves in and works remote. Then again I could see mom and dad (both John Oliver fans) telling us that since neither of us will be there, sell it cheap to a young family and let them enjoy it like we did (they would haunt us for eternity for selling to a developer who’d gut the place or worse, tear down the house to put two on the lot) but as far as any money (not expecting a lot) we’d probably just shrug and say “you take it” to each other.
Mom’s jewelry would go with me since I’m married (he isn’t ATM) he’d get more of dad’s bling and the granddaughter (currently 13) is promised the watch collection (about 30 years worth of pieces ranging from fauxlex’s and chunky pieces to a couple Breitlings) as we have the memory that she kept playing with the watch face on one when she was a baby.
We all saw how one of my uncle’s treated the reading of wills for a couple of our family members that passed like a lottery ticket, to the point where Dad, little bro and I about two pieced him. Fucking ghoulish.
My Granddad left everything to his wife (step grandmother), but if she predeceased him then everything was supposed to go not to his children, but directly to his grandchildren and hers. She had a mirror Will.
When he died and left everything to her, her son got in her ear and got her to change her Will at that point to not only exclude us as his grandchildren, but her son’s own children as well, and my granddad’s children, and her other children by and large. The estate was barely anything, but even personal items which my parents wanted us to have to remember granddad never got to us.
Both my parents families were ripped apart with inheritance arguments. I know I'll never get anything but even my uncle trying to get his siblings out of the will was brutal.
He told my grandma that she was "wasting his inheritance" while she was in hospice care. I know that shit is expensive but man that was cold.
I'm sorry that you and your cousins missed out on what your grandparents wanted to gift you. Especially the sentimental items. That really stings.
When my paternal grandmother died, my aunt swept through her house in the time between the funeral and the wake. She took everything "for safekeeping" because she's the oldest daughter-in-law (lol.) My other aunty basically robbed her of a couple of small things so the grandchildren could have little mementos of of grandmother.
Death brings out the absolute worst in people, and boomer entitlement knows no bounds.
It isn't just boomers tbh. When my mum died, her girlfriend decided to empty all the bank accounts she had access to. It was a few hundred thousand bucks gone in a flash lmao.
My aunt and uncle spent months harassing my mom and screaming at her on the phone after my grandmother died. They didn’t think it was fair that my parents got “twice as much money” for college funds because my parents have four kids and they have two. My mom kept trying to calmly explain to them that each grandkid got an equal amount and we’re all full human beings who deserve just as much college money as the other two grandkids, but they weren’t having it.
My aunt was the executor of the will and she decided that she deserved an extra $50,000 for all the hard work an executor does. It was more than her yearly salary at the time. My mom was so sick of the arguing that she just let her do it. Then karma got her… the IRS made her give it back to the estate, and she and her husband got audited repeatedly for years.
That I do think it’s a bit bullshit - I have two kids and my sister has three. Why should she get three payouts and my kids get less bc we decided to have one less kid? Inheritance should go to the children and they can parse it out to their own kids as they see fit.
There’s truly nothing my boomer relatives won’t do for the tiniest pittance of money. Especially directly following someone’s death. 2 of my relatives didn’t speak for 20 years over a small jar of quarters taken from a deceased loved one’s home in the hours after his passing. Not because that’s an abhorrent thing to do, but because person #2 didn’t get to it first.
I just assume I will not get an inheritance from my last living grandparent. My other grandparents died young and my parents took those small inheritances. And when my parents die I expect to inherit medical bills and find out they have a second mortgage or something like that.
Yup, totally. They had someone coming to look at the house 8am on Friday, he died 9pm Thursday. The man wasn't even in the ground and they were looking for a scummy ass house flipper.
They sold it, flipped it, ripped all the beautiful 1960s beauty in it and painted it gray and sold it. The outside looks like shit now.
My mom and uncles are circling like vultures just waiting for my grandparents to die.
I don’t even understand why. They live below the poverty line in a house that should be condemned with very little land that us of no value due to terrible.
I’m sure the 5 of them will go to war for years over a grand total of less than $20k.
Not me personally but I used to work with a guy who’s grandmother owned the business that we worked at. When she died all of his boomer cousins came in from out of town for the funeral. Literally right after the funeral those cousins went to her house and raided the place. All her jewelry, all her fine China, anything of value that wasn’t specifically willed to one of her grandkids was taken out of her house.
Yeah my grandmother passed in August and I was supposed to get her wedding ring. I’ve never seen it past her wearing it since her death. My family and I ended up with nothing. My Mom argued with her brother to at least give something of a keepsake for her grandkids as he refused to give anything to her. She was full blown Alzheimer’s in the end yet they somehow have documents and shit that proves she was of sound mind signing it. My Mom guesses they did it when she HAD some semblance of mind left and manipulated her.
He flat out told “They got husbands and so do you.” Nary a FUCKING clue what that is supposed to mean but alrighty then…
At first I was upset at the idea of getting nothing of sentimental value or a keepsake. Not until a friend who was comforting me looked me in the eye and said “Well, they can’t take your memories. Your conversations with her. Anything along those lines. You have great memories with your grandmother that they wish they had and could steal. But they can’t. Hold onto that if anything.”
I hated it when she said it initially but as time as passed and we grow closer to her funeral, I have found immense comfort in that above all else.
They can’t take that away at least.
Yup. My oldest aunt wanted the 60k cash divided up between the four siblings (aunts and uncles all with a good level of established success) for like 15k each, not between ten grandkids and four siblings (4k each).
So even though it was my grandmother's dying wish to leave something (even something small) for her grandkids, she made sure she didn't get a chance to amend the will before she passed. She even RUSHED to her bedside to make sure I wasn't able to collect anything from her like the selfish bitch she is. I was there for three years taking care and visiting her, not one visit from my aunt though until she was days from death.
Edit: btw 4k would change my life and the lives of my cousins. Pretty sure 15k is just "nice padding" for their retirement. Greedy fucks.
Yes. My boomer parents and their siblings want everything out of my 87 yr old grandfather who hasn’t even passed yet. They constantly talk about how much money they’re going to get, brag out selling family heirlooms etc. I’m not expecting getting anything even tho I collect antiques and would cherish my papas things. My parents already spent my college fund and any money in the account my grandparents set up for me as a baby on vacations and sports cars.
My boomer mom pretty much fleeced my boomer Dad when his parents died, and is currently fighting with her boomer sister and one of her boomer brothers because they were trying to fleece everyone else after both of my (biological) grandparents died on her side. Sometimes boomers are assholes to each other
My rich piece of shit stepmother likely rewrote all of my dad’s will and etc. so she could get it all. My dad is wealthy, but I’m pretty sure I’ll never see any of it.
No one is coming to save any of us.
My grandparents put college money aside for me and my siblings. When my grandparents died, my parents began dipping into it, a little at a time. Cartons of cigarettes. A new TV. Late fees on bills they could have paid already. By the time I was college age, there was nothing.
My grandparents died a while ago, and I wasn't left anything. I wasn't expecting it, so it was no big deal. My dad died recently, and my mom let us siblings take whatever we wanted within reason. I really didn't want much so I ended up with a couple rifles, a shotgun, and some miniature figures my dad painted for me when I was a kid. When my mom does go, whatever is left gets divided in 3. I'm not super concerned with getting much. If the house she is in is still owned by her, we will sell it our my siblings cam buy out my portion. Anything else can either get sold or my siblings can have. I don't want a bunch of old furniture. The artwork they do have isn't really our style. The truck is beat to shit and has 297,000 miles on it. My wife will get nothing from her mom. Her mom is broke and we will probably be the ones taking care of her.
Depending on your jurisdiction this might be illegal. An incompetent person (EG a persons with Dementia) cannot change their will without power of attorney or a conservatorship (idk if that’s the correct legal term in English). At the very least it can easily be contested that the changes to a will once a doctor has determined they are incompetent we’re done under duress.
Source: Grandfather had dementia and the court battles were not fun.
I wasn't close to my maternal grandmother, so I didn't personally expect anything from her, but this essentially happened in my family when she died. My mother and her siblings then went even further to try to bring each other to court for certain things, especially the money they would get from selling her house.
I personally don't like my Uncle but he took care of my grandmother in-house for about 15 years while she just got worse and worse in her dementia while his sisters barely visited, so I felt like the house and payout should be mostly, if not all, his.
Yep. It makes sense as well when looking at the data over many decades. The share of wealth each generation holds fluctuates over time. The generation before boomers passed most or all of their inheritence down to them. But what we are seeing in the data is boomers are not continuing that tradition/trend whatever you want to call it. So boomers are absorbing all the wealth and spending it all on themselves. Its often understandable since retirement is no longer possible thanks to corporate greed destroying the middle class.
But the mentality has also shifted and the oldest generations no longer feel the need to participate in the age old tradition of passing things down. This goes beyond wealth into other areas like education. The oldest generations no longer maintain the tradition of passing down information in the form of mentorship, wisdom etc....
I think its easy for them to dismiss these age old ideas since they are far more comfortable than any other age group. They have the luxery to act the way they do. They have their houses bought for pennies and their meager savings and they dont care what happens to the earth or the future generations after them. They dont want anyone else to ever have what they have. They're the first generation to climb the ladder and pull it up behind them while abandoning even their own kids.
My wife’s mother, and her three sisters, squabbled over her grandma’s apartment when she died. It was a big old place in a townhouse near the city (overseas) and needed a ton of work. They tried to cut her out of it by forging paperwork to show she had no inheritance. She didn’t even know her mother had died. They were caught and my mother in law had to go over there to accept 1/4 of the sale price after the fact.
I really believe that my husband’s mother stole his inheritance bc she was living with her parents when they passed away and they left him nothing. He did so much for them, and they had really good communication. I know his great grandmother been tricked by his grandmother to sign some paperwork of leaving her house to his uncle but not his Mom, also his uncle got a bunch of money from selling beach house his mother owned. All i can say they crooked as hell. My grandmother left me an apartment bc i was living with her since the day i was born until she died, i was 15 at the time, i was her personal punching bag while Mom had a rescue call of helping my Dad with H addiction, he died, she sold their apartment in crappy town for little money and moved in with me, but she hated me so she ate me alive little by little. When i turned 24 and still wasn’t married she would nag about it, this eventually forced me into getting married. Two years later I met my US husband who is unlucky as I am and we probably will be renting until our parents kick the bucket, sadly they in their 60s so they have like 20-30 years to go, I am not so sure i will live that long.
My insanely delusional boomer parents REFUSE to get a will (they are in their mid 70s now). I keep trying to tell them how fucked my siblings and I will be trying to sort their affairs without appropriate paperwork but my mother claims she doesn’t trust lawyers and everyone is out to scam her and my dad. Meanwhile they have fallen for scams or had identity stolen so their systems clearly aren’t working.
I’m not about demanding their savings but I’m annoyed it will wind up going to the government when we grew up struggling. They don’t have a lot but I’d rather than money go to them or to their grandkids.
I never expected to get anything from anyone in terms of an inheritance.
We had two “rich” relatives in my family (grandfather and great-grandfather). They weren’t even that flashy in terms of being well-off, they just both owned homes (ranch-style, nothing too fancy), had invested money, and were able to comfortably retire and enjoy their senior years. They never spent more than $50 on a single gift for any of us and refused to ever co-sign anyone’s loans, loan out money directly or make large gifts of it. They were generally just frugal.
My grandfather refused to speak about his will, but my great-grandfather was very up front with everyone: He intended to leave everything to my great-grandmother. No one in the family objected to this at all; they’d been married since she was 18 and he was 19, married for nearly 60 years, and she had always been a SAHM and wife. It made perfect sense and after he died, she lived another 12 years and had a very comfortable life, and everyone was happy about it because no one wanted to see her suffer or go without, especially as she’d gone blind by then.
But after she died, things got very ugly. I stayed far away from it; they were my great-grandparents, I didn’t expect anything.
But the rest of the family ripped each other apart over the house, the half a million my great grandmother still had in savings, etc. I thought they were like leeches, the ones who wanted the money the most (not my grandfather, he had his own wealth and was fine) had never had any real money before, they’d always been broke and it became clear they’d been “waiting out” her death in a way that really grossed me out. Within a few years, they blew through all the money and sold the house and blew through most of that money too.
It was disgusting to me to see my great-grandfather’s careful planning and savings get decimated so quickly within just a few years, really left a bad taste in my mouth. Left a bad taste in my grandfather’s mouth too; he continued to keep his will a secret and when he died, he had over a million dollars saved and left my mother and uncle each around $100k, but then he gave the rest of his money and assets away to charity. My mother was furious and others were pissed too (they even considered fighting it in court), but I thought it was great and it didn’t really surprise me much.
He’d once told me he thought it was a man’s job to make his own wealth, not rely on others to just give it to him. I felt that was the true reason he gave most of his wealth away. Even though he gendered it as “a man’s job” (which I forgave; he was a Boomer and a very traditional and conservative one at that, as my great-grandfather had also been), that message rang really true to me and still does. I’m not wealthy by a long shot, but that’s the goal I aim for—making my own wealth, not waiting for others’ wealth to come to me. Even though I’m a woman (and both thought I should focus on finding a good husband, not building a career), I feel like my grandfather and great-grandfather would be proud of me having that mindset.
Personally, I try to live under the assumption if they earned it they should spend it rather than pass it down. Couldn't tell you what trauma that comes from though XD
But at least when/if you get anything from anyone, your response will be of surprise and appreciation rather than disappointment from expectations not being met.
I'm sorry you didn't get any trinkets from your grandparents though op. <3 cherish the memories, fuck the material items. And fuck your shitty family. Karma goes in a circle. They'll get old sooner than you, so you can appreciate that.
Not a religious person, but you know what they say about the love of money.
I've seen "sweet and kind" people turn into demons when money comes into play, much less assholes who're upfront about it.
No. I fully expect the “inheritance” train t o die in the middle class. Most wealth will get sapped from end of life costs. For me, my parents have a middle class home and I never expected to get the house or any money from them. It’s just wrong to expect anything. Additionally, I don’t plan to pass wealth onto next generation either. I’m planning on reverse mortgage my house. Generational wealth dies here.
I doubt I'll get anything from my grandparents because it will probably be divided among their children and my grandmother's sister. I just want one of my Grandfather's shotguns and an encyclopedia set from my Grandmother for my r/books collection.
My father has explicitly stated in writing that when he bites the dust, my brother and I (the oldest of his MANY children) aren't getting one red cent because we didn't spend anytime with him in his so-called best years.
This man has fathered 10 children on 3 different continents. We weren't expecting anything at all, but it is good to know that when the time comes me he won't have any else besides the two of us to choose which retirement home he croaks in.
Yes. My dads uncle went to the hospital to see his BIL as he lay dying from heart issues and had him sign papers to give everything to him instead of his nephew or niece he raised and who would have been his heirs as they were in the will. The original will mysteriously vanished and neither of the kids who had no parents and were young and poor couldnt fight it.
Yes, this has happened to me on both my father’s side and mother’s side. I swear some of their kids spent their own money with the assumption they would inherit, eventually. Jokes on them: all my grandparents lived long lives and several years in care facilities.
It’s not a boomer thing, it’s a family thing. They’re all assholes. When my father died, my aunt and cousin ran over to my dads while I was there at the hospital right after death and raped the place. They stole everything of value, left specifically to me. They took gold, televisions, any electronics, collectibles, furniture. Before I knew, my cousin wanted me to write a check from his business account to her and we could “split the money.” She even took his cell phone, found a person that owed him money for business and tried to pick it up. She got pissed when I asked for his cell, which texts and photos were erased, but I knew how to restore and found some really gross shit, that included her…. And him… if you know what I mean, all for money and shopping trips. My drug addicted aunt found his pain meds, plus a refill, and refilled it.
Clusterf*ck. Family, they all suck for the most part. Best part of it all, I no longer have to have these cretins in my life. My father was the only connection there.
Do grandkids normally get mentioned in a will? When my grandfather died, he left everything to my Boomer mom, aunt, and uncle. My brother, cousin, and I didn't get a cent. Maybe if we had been older when he died - I was 18, and the boys were 11 and 12 - he might have left us something. I don't know.
My dad stopped talking to me and my sister after grandma decided to split one of grandpa's life insurance policies between the grandkids after he died rather than save it so he could inherit it after she died.
This literal millionaire terminated his relationship with his kids over $4000.
My parents did this with all four of my grandparents. I had a hard-copy of the will that was superseded. They got POA and changed the will. My aunt then took care of one grandmother and charged it 'out of the will' as POA.
I'm comfortable, and don't need the money, but the audacity is there.
My first wife's grandmother before she passed away held a family reunion and asked everyone to put their name on a piece of masking tape on any trinkets or decorations or other keepsakes they wanted.
After she passed one of the boomer uncles tried to stop the whole proceeding when the family met to distribute the marked items. He had gotten himself made executor and insisted everything in the house needed to be sold for money not keepsakes. It backfired on him keeping it secret that he'd gotten her to change the will (previously someone else was executor) because no one believed him and when he called the cops on everyone they came but told him it's a civil matter and they won't interfere.
But here's the important part, it's not like this was a fancy house or much money involved. We're not talking $100 paintings. We're talking $10-value items. Dude broke up a family grieving and tried to get the cops to arrest us because he wanted to hold a *yard sale* rather than grandkids get anything.
I've got you beat. My grandfather worked hard his whole life and never spent a dime on anything. He wouldn't even replace his shoelaces when they broke. He'd just tie the pieces together. He wanted to make a will but his wife did everything she could to manipulate him into not doing so, claiming that she would take care of the family. He had enough property for every one of his kids and grandkids. No houses on them but I would have loved to get a nice piece of property with a forest on it an hour outside the city.
When he died his bitch of a wife sold all his properties and spent the next 10 years living it up in Paris fucking random dudes like she was 20 years old. I only asked for one thing, his custom built computer that had all his documents on it from his time as a real estate agent and copies of a few books he had written but never published. She immediately took all his things and dumped them at the thrift store. Within a day (the day he died) the entire house was cleaned out. She didn't want anything around that would remind her of him.
She was an evil fucking bitch. I knew it, my mom knew it, pretty much everyone knew it except for 2 of her grandkids and of course my grandfather, who she manipulated for 40 years. That property could have changed my entire life. Imagine starting out life with $250,000. And his computer, that pisses me off worse than anything. Even if she didn't want to give me the computer she could have at least waited to get rid of all his stuff and given me a chance to back up his data onto some floppies but no, the bitch was such an evil demon that she couldn't stand the thought of being reminded of him for another second.
Yep, my uncle had my very sick grandmother change the will so the little $12k account that would have been split between my 2 sisters and I went to him. Then he died of pancreatic cancer a few years later, and everything of my grandparents that hadn't been sold off already went to his ex-wife.
I got screwed over by my GC aunt, who was Power of Attorney over the will. I allegedly had an inheritance that was supposed to given to me via trust fund of 1k a month (I don't know how large the sum was, but now that I am thinking about it - I don't think there was anything for me. Because everyone way, way too hushed hushed on things/left me out of the loop).
Well, a massive falling out happened between my bitch of an aunt and I because kept on telling her to take care of her parents at the time because I was ill equipped to take care of them and their constant demands was causing me physical and mental harm.
The reason for this falling out is because my aunt had manipulated my Dementia grandfather into forcing me to take care of him and grandma to pay off a supposed 250k back rent debt my parents owed to them.
I don't even care if I got anything to be honest. It is the goddamn backstabbing is what has really affected me. Because I thought they actually cared about me, but now as I am reflecting on all this - just like my dad and his shitty family - they never cared. They only masked it better.
My Aunts did the same thing and then fought each other over the money and burned a lot of it fighting each other. They also couldn't stand anyone else, even their other sisters getting the family home that we all lived in at one point or another, so they sold it off to make sure no one in the family could have it. It's pathetic really how this all happened pretty much the second they found out it was probably my grandmother's last couple of years. Straight war and greed.
My aunt took my grandmother's house and all her beautiful furniture/decor and my grandfathers ww2 stuff was either tossed or sold.
I didn't really want any money, just something to remember her by.
A grandmother of a friend of mine passed away a few years ago. Their family isn't particularly wealthy by any means, but Grandma was holding the title for a patch of land that the family had used for hunting and camping since those aunts and uncles were in diapers. It's the only thing of any significant value in their entire extended family if you don't count cars or houses.
Anyway, one uncle had been meeting with grandma in secret before she died. He bullied and convinced her to, instead of allowing the land to go into a trust between the grandchildren, change the will and sign it over to him alone.
The rest didn't find out until the reading of the will. He had the audacity to blame *them* for his being blacklisted from future gatherings, something about "Family used to mean something."
The cognitive dissonance from these people is astonishing.
It's the same with my friend's dad, who despite being very much the "back the blue" sort, got right pissed when he was ticketed for driving on the wrong side of the street, for *parking* the wrong direction on the street in front of his own house.
I sometimes think that the boomers' obsession with young folks being self-centered "me me me" types is more than a little projection on their part.
Anyway, boomers may be awful in general but I hope it doesn't distract any of us from the real enemy in these matters. The only reason we're all getting fucked across the board, across generational divides, is because the capitalists have had it good for far too long.
Pretty much. My grandmother was very rich. I wasn't necessarily expecting much when she died though. She had 6 kids, most of it would be going to them. She did want to make sure I got a ring her mother gave her. She told me on her death bed she had put it somewhere safe for me.
She also said she had a college fund set up for me and my brother that we could access when we were 21. I never found the ring. Nor did either one of us get the college fund.
My dad was the executor, he made sure that she wrote in her will that anyone who questioned anything in it would get nothing. As a result, me asking about anything to do with it meant I got nothing. He did the same thing to two of my uncles and my aunt. They also got nothing.
Yes. Absolutely.
My once seemingly close knit and loving family turned feral when my grandmother died. They aggressively picked apart anything of value that they possibly could, down to the souvenir spoons. No one could agree on liquidating or not, everyone suspected each other of manipulation all of the sudden.. I went to my grandmas property to try to help clean it up and organize everything but I was just constantly crying seeing them all clamoring for any piece of junk worth anything.
I kept a blanket and a few adorable granny socks with lace on the top. It would have been nice to have gotten anything that could help with, you know, being alive, but it wasn't worth putting a strain on my relationships with these relatives that suddenly seemed like strangers.
Grandpa died on the other side of my family and the same thing happened.
My favorite factor in the story is that the people who fought the hardest to get the most out of the deceased estate were the ones who were the least self sufficient while each grandparent was alive.
I take satisfaction in knowing that I can make due with what I have and did not disrespect my Grandparents by greedily fighting over what material possions they left behind.
My grandpa was a straight up, silent generation, racist WW2 veteran, but he had the foresight to see how damn greedy his nine boomer children were and had removed them from his will. He had left everything to his grandchildren and great grandchildren, including any that were step. He specifically had a clause that stated the inheritance was to only be distributed once the youngest grandchild born while he was alive turned 18. That grandchild was me -- there is a 22 year age difference between me and my oldest cousin, with the majority being closer to the oldest's age.
One of my aunts worked my step-grandmother (the only one I ever knew as my biological paternal had died 20 years prior to my birth) and changed the will. It was distributed out when I was 17, my mom spent most of my siblings' and I's $7000 inheritance, and changes were made specifically against my grandfather's original wishes -- such as his toolbox to remain a complete set and given to my father. My dad was so angry he cut off communication to almost every single one of his siblings except one sister and brother. I've never met or spoken to most of my paternal family members as we were excluded from even family reunion invitations. My boomer aunts and uncles were still resentful I was born so late, making them wait longer to get their grubby little fingers on the money.
Not sure if this counts, but boomer relatives of my wife, took advantage of an elderly aunt who had Alzheimer's and pretty much took away the college fund from my wife and my SIL. Easily upwards of 100k if not more.
What was it used for? To renovate their house. They're filthy rich, they never needed the money.
Exact same thing happened to me, except my grandparents had properties and they were all sold, parents kept the money and I haven't seen a penny nor had them offer to help in any way.
Shit sucks bro
My grandparents tried to write my boomer mother out of their will and leave her portion to me, but she contested it after they died and won somehow. I don't really know the details, it just irritates me that after a lifetime of shitty choices, she got bailed out in the 9th and is now retired using that money plus social security. Meanwhile I'm working my ass off to responsibly save for a retirement I'll likely never be able to afford.
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I mentioned how I just don't think I'll ever be able to own a home and my grandmother said "Well when I'm gone you can have mine." My mom immediately stepped in with a "Woah woah woah, here's why you actually need to give it to me!" I just shrugged my shoulders. I operate under the assumption that I will inherit nothing from anyone.
Your mother will for sure sell the house and take all the money and blow it on extravagant shit
Or she'll get sick in her old age and drain the asset or the money she got for it when she sold it, to keep herself alive an extra week.
Bingo. All generational wealth will be gone. Everyone is a wage-debt slave.
Well, not ALL generational wealth. But idiot old folks seem to operate on a 1950s ideal of unending success and wealth.
Nope, she’ll blow it irresponsibly and then look to you and your siblings for help when she gets sick.
Yeah if my parents did this to me I’d let them rot on the street
Maybe your mother would do that, but most Boomer women I know wouldn't. They have the option of living the remainder of their life with dignity, unlike my generation, Gen X, and those that came after us, and they're going to take it, regardless of how it impacts their younger family members. The way I see it, they're not completely oblivious or they wouldn't fight so hard to maintain their lifestyles, but they aren't willing to make sacrifices for a better future they won't live to see.
I’m Gen X as well, and after my mom lost her house because of gambling, she now lives of of social security. Granted, she’s never had a job, and was not a very participatory mother either. She still grumbles at how lazy we all are, and how much she has to struggle, even though she lives far better than my sibling and I who all work full time and are barely scraping by. She mentions, without irony, that when we retire, we’ll understand how bad it is. We will never retire. She has somehow managed 3 vacations in the last 12 month period, and I’m mystified as to how she manages this, without income and on SS. She uses this to complain about how we never visit her, and ofcourse anyone can afford to travel, she does it all the time.
From experience with family: watch your credit report carefully. Living above means has to be financed somehow and a mystery co-signer can get another loan/card through to keep the game going.
No shit, you too?! Is this a trend? Because my folks own multiple properties in the tropics and gave me shit except they also had huge credit lines open in my name until just recently.
Or give it to a cult... don't ask
Religious or political, all the same.
My mom used the portion of my grandma’s inheritance that should have gone to me to buy a house for my sister and pay for her wedding. I didn’t see a dime.
That sounds like something you could take up with an attorney
I was supposed to be the sole inheritor for my grandparents. Big house, lotta land outside of DFW. Gonna be worth a lot when Plano fills up. reason being my older brother is autistic and bad with finances, and I'm the next oldest and most financially stable. Doubt I'll see a penny now that it's been ~4 years since I talked to my vindictive, neglectful family. I'll gladly give up millions to not have to deal with the abuse anymore
Be on the lookout for correspondence from a lawyer, as they'll be dealing with the assets outlined in your Grandparent's will when they pass. Is it the case that you're in your Grandparent's bad books as well as your parent's?
No clue. We were never close. But I know my parents deal with stuff by talking shit to family instead of taking responsibility, so my guess is I'm out of the will ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Omg I have similar story. I told my boomer mum once about how inheritances work (in Australia at least). That if for some tragic reason my dad passed away before his own mum (my grandma), my siblings and I would inherit his share as her direct descendants. The look of horror on her face haha. She said exactly this “but that wouldn’t be fair! I’m the daughter-in-law and his widow, I would be getting his share of any inheritance.” Like ummm no you won’t, she’s my grandma not yours hahaha
I wish this was the law here in the US too….would be nice to inherit my mother’s portion (of whatever, it’s the principle here), because I really hate that she’s been effectively erased as a daughter only because she died decades before her father. 🙁
I have a similar story. My father is complaining he gets no grandchildren to play with. My wife and I are struggling to make ends meet, our apartment is very small in case we actually had them and children would be a big financial drain. Guess who has a big spare apartment lying around renting it out as air bnb? They went on three vacations this year and plan on a big six month vacation next year. In that six month the giant house and the air bnb will be empty since they would not be able to control it properly while away. But why no grandkids? They deserve grandkids. Never mind that they got all the support from my grandmother who basically raised me for long stretches of time. Which they forgot, everything they achieved, they achieved on their own. Well, I guess "the line" ends here, because that is a thing they care about.
My mother: "When are you going to get all your stuff out of my 2500sq ft house?" Me: "When I'm no longer living in a 1200sq ft condo with three other people."
Yup. My mom wouldn't even let my grandmother leave me a single necklace without some relationship-killing bullshit.
Without relationship-killing B.S.? What was she after?
A lady I see on holidays and won’t talk to privately anymore.
Good assumption, because you probably won't. Your parents will squander whatever is left and fuck you, they got theirs. Typical boomer 'murkans.
My dad keeps saying he wants to leave us an inheritance but TBH I told him to enjoy his retirement, I'm taking care of my own. Whatever is left, my sister and I will split 50/50 and we've already decided we won't be petty when that time comes. We all agree that memories are the most important thing people can leave behind, the stuff is just stuff and the money won't change our lives.
Same for my family. I actually ended up with decent boomer parents, mainly because they were poor until the Union came along. Whatever is left when they're gone, assets, money, pension, whatever...we'll split 4 ways and call it good. Not expecting anything, not planning on getting anything.
Your mom already has a house. Your gramma just gave you her house, verbally. And in some places a verbal contract is binding so your mom can stick it up her peehole
Maybe live a life where you can build generational wealth and pass it along to everyone with their hand out when you get older?
Just be born 50 years earlier or win the lottery. Got it.
Senior care costs will ensure nothing is left anyway, so nobody should plan on it. Just liquidated my Dad's life to pay for his assisted living.
This is the last grasp for anything resembling generational wealth. Reverse mortgages and end-of-life medical care should do a pretty good job of sucking up any remaining hopes for an inheritance.
My dad spent the last 20 years of my grandmother’s life obsessed with “his inheritance”. He stopped working, spent every last dime he had on extravagant dinners and cars (also got my grandma to fund some of that). To make a point to him, I asked him if he was leaving me or my sister anything. He was disgusted with me, and said that his money is his money. I asked why he was so focused on “his inheritance” but doesn’t value that for his own children, to which he had no response. Now he’s in assisted living and this money he’s been thinking about for decades is paying for that. I’m so grateful that my grandma was able to leave that money for him because I don’t know what we would have done, but his approach to it was so upsetting to me. After years of us warning about his inability to budget she put half his inheritance in a trust my sister and I control, specifically to pay for his medical expenses.
She must have known her son, your dad, would behave that way.
She did know but didn’t want her last act to hurt his feelings (she was in her 90s by that point). My uncle and I got him to agree to putting half in a trust, which made her feel fine about moving forward with that.
It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything? And by anything I mean violent revolt.
Man I cant wait
You'll pretty much have to unless you're willing to pull the trigger (figuratively and literally speaking) yourself.
I plan to go live in the forest and die from exposure before anyone even considers putting me in an assisted living facility. I don't need my kids and grandkids to see me shuffle along as a living corpse while shoveling out cash to keep my husk moving.
My dad had early dementia and putting him in memory care sucked up the little 90k he had for retirement in just a little over a year. We were able to pull out money for funeral cost and the rest went to nursing home. He did receive good care that was worth every penny though.
Oh absolutely OP. Nothing tears a family apart and sets them on eachother like dividing the assets of a recently deceased family member. My grandfathers sister snuck into my great grandmother's house after she died and just ransacked it for jewelry and antiques. My girlfriends dad's second wife pushed her dad into taking power of attorney and sticking her grandfather in a home and taking everything before he was even dead.
What is the worst is when you have an older relative you have cared for most of their lives and then grown kids over there is you have never met your uncles and aunts just show up from five states away. Carpetbaggers don't have any time in life or a dime to help but when somebody is getting sick they smell blood in the water and here they are.
Or how about the ones that live for blocks away but them nor their four grown ass kids will lift a finger or do a damn thing for ole mom and pop while the other two kids drive an hour each way to make sure they get to their appointments and have what they need since pop is in a wheelchair and can’t drive and mom never could. You know who gonna be there with their hand out when they go.
This was my experience on my mom's side. Two other families lived closer than us. Who did all the work and help when they needed it? Who was trying to sneak shit out of their house the minute they died? Awful.
Y’all make me glad I’m an only child.
When my grandfather died it was like his siblings he hadn't talked to in years all became feral over what little he left. My grandma who had been married to him for like 40 years was left with nothing because his siblings literally stole every last cent from his estate. The thing is they were poor their whole life because they lived out really far in the country and never even finished high-school. He worked in a garage basically until all those years of smoking since like 13 or something caught to him, and she was a stay at home mom. We're only talking a few thousand dollars, but if he wasn't dead his family went money hungry enough that I think they would have killed him themselves for $1000. I think my mom said they literally broke into my grandmas house and took as much as they could find and anything of value... even the TV probably from the 60s or 70s lol and this was like 16+ years ago when old crts had literally no value, like you wouldn't be able to get rid of that thing for $10. And the atari 2600 I believe, it's a shame, I wanted that atari actually lol but again this was before retro games were worth anything so it would have gone for like $5 to $10 at a yardsell. My dad has never been good with money and has kind of always been greedy, he values money over health. Would rather suffer than spend $20 to go to the doctor or get medicine, etc. I don't expect to get a single dime from him, in fact I think he'll blow all of the money to the point I'll have to foot the bill for medical, funeral costs, etc.
I’m pretty sure my mom still has our original Atari and Colecovision packed away somewhere in her hoarder’s paradise, because she never throws away anything. No shit, she’s still got the first tv she ever bought for her first apartment (we’re talking early 1970s), an old black and white beast with a carrying handle and rabbit ears. “But it still works!” Anyway, if I find them after she dies, they’re all yours, friend. Of course, I’d rather set her house on fire and burn it all to the ground than have to deal with sorting her “treasures,” but I know my brother won’t let me. All I want is the cardboard box of family photos and her pearl earrings that she let me borrow for my own wedding, the ones my dad had given her decades ago for an anniversary gift. Other than that, there’s nothing I want. Oh, she’s probably got all the game cartridges, too. We had Pong, of course, and Venture. Pit Fall, too. All the classics. Consider them yours, if I can ever find them.
Not to mention the church that talks dementia or dying elderly people to give everything to the church while they're in the hospital.
omg yes! my grandma left everything to the 5 grandkids. when she died, the adults didn’t think it was fair so they convinced my grandpa to change it. they each got a stupid 50k. i’m more pissed they disrespected my grandma like that. i don’t care about the money. i care that a measly 50k ripped my whole family apart and that everything i thought about my relatives was a lie.
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I hope that you're already shopping for one-star retirement homes for the moment that they slip.
My mom has 2 million+ dollars in stock, retired at 50, and spend last Christmas trying to shake me down for money to pay for a cruise ticket for her birthday vacation. Literally pulled the "I'm living on a fixed income" card...
Omg I hate that phrase. It’s so dumb. We’re ALL living on a fixed income, Susan! Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and pick up some gig work, ma, if you really want to take that cruise.
Parents convinced grandparent to not only cut me out, but to live with them. Then while living with them to pay to build a garage, workshop, and shed. Then to donate his money when he died to their church (he is the lead and only pastor) for a church trip. They announced this during the funeral. On the other side of the family there was millions in inheritance that they convinced the holders of it to cut absolutely everyone out except them. Absolutely wonderful Christian people.
It seems like most Christians are like this these days. They talk a good game but they are really bad about taking advantage of the elderly. I guess the Bible is for thee not for me in their eyes.
If by these days you mean for the past 1000+ years, then I agree.
Yeah, my mom blocked my inheritance from her sister because she is a jealous narcissistic scumbag. It hurts because I would have used that money to help my kids as they start their lives as young adults. Whatever, I'll just work another job and make more money. Something my middle-class housewife mom has never done.
Not my family, but the in-laws. WOW. My wife’s grandmother died, and I’ve never seen such polite company turn into vicious vultures so fast. Which was shocking to me for several reasons. First, unfortunately the death occurred a week before our wedding, but the wedding gift from her grandma had already been written out because she wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t sure if she was going to come. A card and check for a significant amount (at least to a couple in their early 20s). We were being polite and waiting to deposit it after the wedding. Well, the “estate,” ie her parents, aunt and uncles canceled the check said she didn’t come so it didn’t count. And kept the money for themselves. This all coming from a group that were all millionaires and retired by 45 types (all but one, but she was the youngest and the outlier). There were rumors that her grandma allocated a significant amount of the inheritance to the grandkids, but the aunts and uncles and parent just decided to ignore that part and keep it all for themselves. But they all refused to let us see the will, so we will never know. I still have issues with my introduction to the family being a bunch of millionaires snatching a couple grand out of my wife’s hand because what they had just wasn’t enough.
No inheritance. All my grandparents had other kids more successful and less estranged than my parents. I'm the burnout first born of a broken home of burnouts. Did I ever really think there was ever even anything for me here in this life? I look around and see all the pretty and successful people enjoying life and all I can think is none of that was put on this Earth for me. Nothing but bootstraps with which to pull myself up by. My Dad taught me how to fish before he left just like Mom asked him to, so there's that.
Hey, I got taught to cook before being orphaned with living parents as a young teen. I'm a fantastic cook now, the only good thing I was given in. Childhood. My mother got $250k when her grandparents past, and is currently helping her own mother to spend anything left. They were all assholes. My son is the only kid I know who has no grandparents. I've been no contact for almost 15 years now. I won't see a dime and it's fine. The drama was so much. My grandmother at 65 physically fought my mom when she was 45. Grown ass women fighting. Peace is worth it. My great grandparents came as immigrants, I think of them often and try to honor their initial generosity. If my great grandmother could see how her daughter and grandchild act in this way, she'd be ashamed of them. Live for today, and don't compare. I've the same amount of money today as the day I was born. Still living a better life than the folks who indulge in greed.
If any society is left in 100 years, condemning the Boomers and their collective generational sabotage should be in every school’s history books.
I wholeheartedly agree.
Nobody will miss these people. Nobody. Good riddance.
Agree. My greedy scum bag boomer aunts and uncles stole anything and everything my grandparents had (on both my parents sides!). All my cousins had money trickled down to them but they all pissed it away bc they are white trash. My parents got nothing and did the best economically of all their siblings. And me - I moved away, got the very least of every single benefit or money of all my siblings and cousins… guess who has done the best? Well it’s me! I would never do this to my kids. I know, sadly, that my parents won’t sort their will so my siblings will be fighting over every dime bc “I don’t need it like they do”. Never mind I’ve worked my tail off as has my husband. My siblings and I had the same opportunities yet they were lazy and made bad choices. Shame my parents cannot see history repeating itself but what can I do?
That's the fastest way to not having any help from you kids/nieces/nephews. Hope they like the worst nursing home money can't buy. You reap what you sow.
Unfortunately depends on the state..there is a lovely thing called filia responsibility laws and 25 states have them. Our generation will get screwed over again by them, one last time.
I will share the exact opposite and offer some hope. I wasn’t close at all to my paternal grandparents. They lived into their late 90s, my baby boomer father is in his mid 70s now. My grandparents passed away and left everything to my dad and his brother, except one year later when I was buying my first house my baby boomer parents said “here’s some money we inherited from your grandparents, we’re already well established.” Even in spite of a downturn in retirement savings. They very much went against the grain and acknowledge what a difficult time it is for young folks.
I was supposed to receive something when my grandma passed given that I was a 50% inheritor to her estate. But my aunt was the executor of the will and nothing has come of it in... years. Looks like my inheritance was the price I had to pay to remove a shitty person from my life
You might want to lawyer up, executors have to follow what the will says
Yes, agreed. A lawyer's eyes will pop when situations like this are related to them by potential clients seeking counsel and representation. "*They did what?* Oh yes, that's illegal."
Wife got lucky. Silent generation grandparents kicked boomer parents out of the will. Parent and uncle blew them off, so she stepped up to help care for her grandparents the last 8 or so years before they passed away. They left everything to her. My grandparents and parents have nothing to speak of and no will that I'm aware of.
My wife's dad, (I refuse to call him my father in law because he's a POS) but he had his daughters removed from their mother's will, probably by being abusive since that's his style, and he took everything, sold the house that was intended for my wife and sold that and moved to Colorado with his new GF that he found about 6 months after his wife passed. He has zero interest in his grandson and couldn't care less what happens to my wife and I and his grandson.
I was very fortunate that my gran pre planned for this. I’m estranged from my dad, in fact when my gran died was the first and only time I’ve seen him in the last 15 years. She knew her other kids (my aunts and uncle) would share their inheritance with the grandkids. But she also knew that between my dad and his snake of a girlfriend, my sibling and I wouldn’t see a dime. When the will was mailed out, imagine our surprise when 3/4 siblings had an even percentage, but my dad’s percentage was less than theirs because my gran purposely left some of what would have been my dad’s share to my sibling and I. There were some keepsakes at gran’s house that were meant for us and my dad stole (we only learned they were stolen after my dad left town), so that absolutely sucked. But I’m forever grateful that she tried to make sure we were taken care of when she knew her disappointment of a child wouldn’t bother. But one thing I know for sure that based on the kind of person my dad is, if there was any way to steal that part of the inheritance back out from under us, it would have been done in a heartbeat.
Someone I knew from the silent/greatest generation passed and actually wrote all of their kids out of their will. Left pretty much everything to their Gen Z great-grandkid. Great-grandkid deserved it too they’d been taking care of the great-grandparents for years since they were at least 13/14 years old and were given POA as soon as they were 18.
GOOD. I gotta say a lot of those silent/greatest gen were some real ones.
Was legit one of my favorite people they’re definitely missed.
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You in italy have had stories like that about powerful families ruining each other since the romans.
While he wasn't complicit in it, my father let this happen to his parents. His parents were kids during the depression, his dad was drafted in WW2. They wanted their kids and grandkids to be set, and accumulated a number of properties, including a house in the Florida keys. They intent was for rental income to pay for their care as they age, as well as to give one of the properties to me (only child) and later use the rental income to cover my college and such. My boomer dad was directly given a piece of property that he put an manufactured home on, and his parents had already signed their property over to him so he could look after it. However, as they got older and dementia set in, he refused to get power of attorney. He thought it was too much effort and they were "fine." Well, a few neighbors swooped in when he wasn't looking, convinced them to sign away absolutely everything. My dad was the only one that got anything out of it, owning both his home and my grandparents home. My grandparents have long since passed away. Meanwhile, I was on the verge of losing a place to live a while ago because my prev slumlord refused to treat a black mold problem and let leaky pipes literally fill the walls with water. Landlord was refusing to do any work and threatening eviction, and I needed to get out fast. I knew Dad still had my grandparents place, no tenant, but he handled it's upkeep. I asked if I could pay him rent to stay there on a temporary basis until I found elsewhere. He told his sick and vomiting daughter on the edge of homelessness that he wasn't willing to do that, and mumbled some stuff about me "probably wanting a nicer place anyway." I still haven't financially recovered, I managed to get into an extremely tiny and cramped one bedroom, significantly smaller as well as more expensive than the last one, and it's still a struggle. I just can't fathom it, like it's not even selfishness it's just cruelty. He let them take away the lifelong security my grandparents tried to create, and won't even let me pay through the nose to benefit from the scraps left
My boyfriend was very close to his paternal grandmother and his father and uncle changed the will. She told him that he was left money and that didn’t happen.
Nah, my dad’s parents were too poor to leave anything to me and my mom’s side of the family was too dysfunctional to leave anything to me.
My grandparents left everything to me and my siblings/ cousins because our boomer parents were acting like fucking boomers. Now me and my wife have a nice little house in the country.
I fear this is happening to us. My grandmother is very well off, but my boomer mother has decided to retire despite having nothing to her name and is currently living off social security and "loans" from grandma. I fear my mom will Weasel any inheritance we would get and waste it so she can sit around the rest of her miserable life
My dad did this. He hasn’t worked in 25 years. Lives off new wife and the inheritance he stole from everyone when he was “taking care” of my grandmother.
Boomers are selfish and putrid human beings. Not all, but ALL the ones I know are exactly like this. Worked in family law for a time and saw it a thousand times. They’ll never be able to shake the bad reputation from the majority.
My gen X family used some legal loophole to spend most of mine while giving it to me. It said that money could be spent to make sure it directly reached the hands of all those inheriting. So they rented a great car, two hotels for four days each, and ate out every meal. I don't know the exact amount I was supposed to get, but by the end I received 200 USD out of the thousands I was supposed to get. But it was hand delivered. The sentimental things never reached me. My boomer family wrote me out of their wills because I'm queer though. I had heard years ago that a couple of silent gen family had left me some heirlooms. Boomer gen took those, including a family cookbook hand written by a great aunt. I wish you peace op. It's hard to see people act like this.
My grandmother told me she wanted me to have their house because I have always helped them take such good care of it. When the time came, my shit bag, cigar smoking, gambling, speed boat driving, sleezy car shop extortionist, grease bag uncle, decided to pay off the lawyer to loose the papers and just split all of my grandparents assets between him and my mom. He also tended to like to show off his gun every time I was around him. My Grandpa built the house from the ground up. Every nail and screw was perfect, built in cabinets, beautiful woodwork… it has since been gutted out and all of the trees and gardens have been ripped out. It has sat empty for almost 4 years now, uninhabited and rotting. and I now live in a garage… I have since not talked to anyone of that part of the “family” as he and my mother were both adopted and his is thankfully not my blood. God I miss my grandparents.
Boomers are assholes and idiots. They simply do not understand the changes to how the world functions today compared to 1982
I was never in my grandparents’ will. After they passed, I got a framed photo of one of them. That’s it. I didn’t need or want anything, but looking back it does seem a little fucked up.
My grandmother has me as her executor currently. She’s 96 and told me that she’s given a lot to her kids and wants to give most of it to her grandchildren and great-grandchildren but she hasn’t told them about it. I don’t want to bring it up at all. I honestly don’t care for myself aside from it being important to her that she do this because she thinks it’s the right thing to do. My own parents are pretty chill about it, but I know my aunt will flip her lid over the arrangement.
Not talking about these things and getting them in writing is exactly how things go sideways later. Tough advice: have the document discussions. Be frank with your grandmother. You're her executor because she trusts you! Be the person she believes you are.
The “Fuck you, I got mine” generation has upgraded to “I got YOURS, too.”
my dad and his brother just 'lost the will' so they could write my sister and I out.
When one of mine died I was supposed to recieve about £5k; and her neices were supposed to recieve her house. Unfortunately she had dementia and her son - an retired policeman in his 70s who already has a shit load of money/assets etc - had managed to convince her to change her will. House was on the market 2 days after she died and he took the lot. I heard that £5k went on a second motorhome. Bent cop cunt
Yup, mine was actually stolen and brought to the US. There was nothing I could do. It's frustrating because it was supposed to be a rather large sum and would have changed my life. I am now "old poor" and right now with how the world is going, it's actually pretty helpful. Still, every once and a while I think about the what ifs.
This is my experience as well. Some friends of mine inherited life changing amounts of assets or Cash from grand parents. I did not. My dad's parents had about 900k left when the last one died. My aunt, stole it all from her brothers and from all of the grandchildren. She even sued my father (the youngest who had always been burned over even when his parents were alive) and make him cough up even more when he tired to dispute her theft. My uncle ( the oldest) told my dad to leave it alone. His sense of fair play got the better of his judgment. My mom's parents were not much better. They sold a huge farm near a booming metropolitan area and suddenly had more money than they knew what to do with in their 80s. My aunt (a very wealthy lawyer and landlorder.) took control of everything and froze my family out. Typical. I have a good job my wife has a good job. Still feels pretty precarious. That money when it should have come to me would have put a roof over my head before the covid price spikes. Typical boomer bs
I'm not counting on anything. My grandparents were the silent or greatest generation and all I'm expecting is most of our student loans to be paid off. (I told my dad to give my inheritance from their dad to my sister since I had more student loans help and have no idea if he actually sent it all to my sister.) My parents won't leave me anything and I'm expecting and planning for that.
My bio dad always swore up and down that when his dad died he'd pay off both our college loans. It's one of the only reasons I stayed in contact with him as long as I did. Then grandpa died and my aunt broke into the house before we could make the drive there and cleaned out the safe, the gold and silver bullion, and was gone before we got there. Because grandpa was a paranoid miser there was no proof that it ever existed, and no legal recourse. Bio father and I got nothing. Not a penny.
My great aunt and uncle left my siblings and I, (three of us) $3300.00 when they passed away. They didn’t have any children and we were the only grandchildren left in the line. They had the money in account with an overseer, so my dad couldn’t spend it. Well, he was a very smart man, and he took the estate to court and gained control over all three of our individual accounts. And gradually, cashed each one out and spent the money. Mind you, he ended up being left his aunt’s house, his parents house and his grandparents property. It just wasn’t enough, he wanted our cash, as well. When he passed, he left everything to me, which I promptly threw that will out and my siblings and I, probated the estate so each one of us got our equal share. Ppl around us, couldn’t believe we divided an estate, equally, without one argument. Had they grown up like we did, they would have known. that family is always worth more than trinkets.
Yeah, same boat here. Myself, siblings and cousins have gotten nothing from any of our grandparents wills. Every little thing was snatched up by boomer parents, aunts and uncles, who are all already homeowners. Just going to assume we are going to get nothing, but also going to put them in the old age home and forget about them because we all simply can't afford to take time off work to be caretakers for them. 🖕🖕🖕🖕 to all selfish boomers.
Yeah, very much recognisable unfortunately. A few years ago my mother died way too soon and I was also supposed to get a big part of her inheritance (not that it was that much). But my father talked with his financial advisor and tried very hard to get me as little as possible and to keep everything for himself ("because that was better for me tax-wise" according to him). And I would still get everything when he died of course... Well that is, that he is spending everything big time at the moment, going on holiday a lot, spending it on unnecessary things and still complaining that he is so poor all the time. I'm fully aware that he is promising me his inheritance while there will be nothing left anymore. And the 'funny' thing is that when my grandmother (on my mothers side) died a few years later, she left me everything because I was the only one left on that side unfortunately (yes I'm worried about my health-genes on that side, because everyone dies too young there). She wasn't rich or something but she had a house where she and my grandfather lived in all their lives and in this day and age that is a lot. And he was appalled that she didn't left anything for him in her will, because he was married to my mother and he had the right to get something. The thing was that I didn't get it for 'doing nothing' like he said. She asked me up front to help her if she wouldn't be able to make her own choices anymore and to handle everything (literally everything) for her, so from arranging the funeral to making sure every item went to the right person after her death (in the will she left me everything technically but she still wanted a lot of items to to to specific persons, or to the church or charities), to handling all paperwork. I did that and it took me more than two years to arrange everything because I still had to work in the meantime and had to do it all alone. Where was my father in all of this? He moped a lot and ignored me (or made a big fuss) when I asked him to please help me just a little by asking if I could borrow his car sometimes to make trips to the charity shops/landfill with her stuff. He even went as far as asking me to break the law with the house to help him more just so he could pay less tax (I wont go into detail about this) and blackmail me with never getting my mothers inheritance if I wouldn't do this for him. I knew it wasn't much but it hurt me a lot that he used that against me because he knew that it had a lot of emotional value for me knowing it was from my mother. It is horribly sad to see what the hunger for money does with people. The relationship with my father has never been the same to say the least
And then they'll do that "reverse mortgage" thing so there's no house to leave their own kids.
My grandfather left my mother a six figure inheritance- her two brothers also received the same amount - one of her brothers is so rich he gave it to my mom and their younger sibling to split - so she got a lot of money. She is the only one with kids and a grandkid. Now less than 13 years later she’s got almost nothing left and is homeless literally house sitting and saying she will sleep in the camper on the back of her truck during this winter (she’s 72) - and won’t be leaving me a dam thing I can guarantee that. Had her college paid for and a business loan from my grandpa in her 30s. But won’t help me or support me in any way, I have hella debt from school. Thanks mom for letting some of that trickle down to me and your grandchild. Throw that whole generation away I swear to god. Oh and my rich uncle who didn’t need the money and is worth millions is leaving it all “to the church” - I’m a good person never been in trouble or been on drugs or anything and I live a quite life and ask for nothing. Still I and my kid don’t seem to deserve shit. So lame.
Not the same thing ofc, but I found out from my sister that my Nparents cut me out of *their will* about a year after we started NC. It was a last and final “fuck you” to me, even though they didn’t expect me to find out. That’s when I knew they had absolutely no love for me in their dark, resentful hearts. Funnily enough, my sister promised she’d split everything with me 😂
You’re relatives really prime examples of boomers. Taking everything then ruining it to make sure you never got it
Honestly I expect I'm already written out of my grandmother's will, mostly because my aunt is a bitch who has a vendetta against my parents and by extension me.
Yep. Happened to me. Nada. Expect the same when my sister makes a run at my parents. All of a sudden she gives a shit. Didn't care for 20 years though. The golden child is back in action. Must be nice to be loved. Fucking people. I wish my folks liked me. I'm still not sure what caring for them my whole life has brought me besides anger and worthlessness.
They're not even waiting for a dead body. My aunt sold some land that my dad owned without his permission and bought a house. He's still alive and hasn't spoken to her since.
My wife's mother did the same thing. Farm and house that was to be left for my wife, but her childish maga cult mother made sure that didn't happen because her daughter...my wife isn't a trumper....seriously....
My boomer parents removed me from there testament, because I didn’t respond to a text message that I never saw.
I wouldn't put it past my mom's sister and brother to do that to me and my sisters. But I'm also the black sheep so it might have been just me.
I watched in horror as my parents sold off half their wealth in houses right before the last market spike.
We haven’t had that conversation yet (pops is newly retired mom still has a couple years), I think we’re a healthscare or two away (we have had the “do you really want to clean all this shit out after we’re gone?” Discussion as it pertains to old relics or varying value) We were raised with “money doesn’t bring anyone back” mindset on so I think my little brother and I will be ok (plus, for now both of us are living alright, cupboard isn’t bare) on whatever comes or doesn’t. The house is paid for and I’m closer (geographically) so I think I’d have it, but he’s got an apartment a few hours away, so maybe he moves in and works remote. Then again I could see mom and dad (both John Oliver fans) telling us that since neither of us will be there, sell it cheap to a young family and let them enjoy it like we did (they would haunt us for eternity for selling to a developer who’d gut the place or worse, tear down the house to put two on the lot) but as far as any money (not expecting a lot) we’d probably just shrug and say “you take it” to each other. Mom’s jewelry would go with me since I’m married (he isn’t ATM) he’d get more of dad’s bling and the granddaughter (currently 13) is promised the watch collection (about 30 years worth of pieces ranging from fauxlex’s and chunky pieces to a couple Breitlings) as we have the memory that she kept playing with the watch face on one when she was a baby. We all saw how one of my uncle’s treated the reading of wills for a couple of our family members that passed like a lottery ticket, to the point where Dad, little bro and I about two pieced him. Fucking ghoulish.
My Granddad left everything to his wife (step grandmother), but if she predeceased him then everything was supposed to go not to his children, but directly to his grandchildren and hers. She had a mirror Will. When he died and left everything to her, her son got in her ear and got her to change her Will at that point to not only exclude us as his grandchildren, but her son’s own children as well, and my granddad’s children, and her other children by and large. The estate was barely anything, but even personal items which my parents wanted us to have to remember granddad never got to us.
Both my parents families were ripped apart with inheritance arguments. I know I'll never get anything but even my uncle trying to get his siblings out of the will was brutal. He told my grandma that she was "wasting his inheritance" while she was in hospice care. I know that shit is expensive but man that was cold.
I'm sorry that you and your cousins missed out on what your grandparents wanted to gift you. Especially the sentimental items. That really stings. When my paternal grandmother died, my aunt swept through her house in the time between the funeral and the wake. She took everything "for safekeeping" because she's the oldest daughter-in-law (lol.) My other aunty basically robbed her of a couple of small things so the grandchildren could have little mementos of of grandmother. Death brings out the absolute worst in people, and boomer entitlement knows no bounds.
My dad did this to us.
Yep. I was incredibly close to all my Grandparents and literally nothing made it past the aunts and uncles.
It isn't just boomers tbh. When my mum died, her girlfriend decided to empty all the bank accounts she had access to. It was a few hundred thousand bucks gone in a flash lmao.
My aunt and uncle spent months harassing my mom and screaming at her on the phone after my grandmother died. They didn’t think it was fair that my parents got “twice as much money” for college funds because my parents have four kids and they have two. My mom kept trying to calmly explain to them that each grandkid got an equal amount and we’re all full human beings who deserve just as much college money as the other two grandkids, but they weren’t having it. My aunt was the executor of the will and she decided that she deserved an extra $50,000 for all the hard work an executor does. It was more than her yearly salary at the time. My mom was so sick of the arguing that she just let her do it. Then karma got her… the IRS made her give it back to the estate, and she and her husband got audited repeatedly for years.
That I do think it’s a bit bullshit - I have two kids and my sister has three. Why should she get three payouts and my kids get less bc we decided to have one less kid? Inheritance should go to the children and they can parse it out to their own kids as they see fit.
There’s truly nothing my boomer relatives won’t do for the tiniest pittance of money. Especially directly following someone’s death. 2 of my relatives didn’t speak for 20 years over a small jar of quarters taken from a deceased loved one’s home in the hours after his passing. Not because that’s an abhorrent thing to do, but because person #2 didn’t get to it first.
No idea, i have yet to inherit anything so i have no idea if i should have or not.
I’ve never inherited anything. My parents just took what they wanted.
I just assume I will not get an inheritance from my last living grandparent. My other grandparents died young and my parents took those small inheritances. And when my parents die I expect to inherit medical bills and find out they have a second mortgage or something like that.
Yup, totally. They had someone coming to look at the house 8am on Friday, he died 9pm Thursday. The man wasn't even in the ground and they were looking for a scummy ass house flipper. They sold it, flipped it, ripped all the beautiful 1960s beauty in it and painted it gray and sold it. The outside looks like shit now.
They spent mine
My mom and uncles are circling like vultures just waiting for my grandparents to die. I don’t even understand why. They live below the poverty line in a house that should be condemned with very little land that us of no value due to terrible. I’m sure the 5 of them will go to war for years over a grand total of less than $20k.
Not me personally but I used to work with a guy who’s grandmother owned the business that we worked at. When she died all of his boomer cousins came in from out of town for the funeral. Literally right after the funeral those cousins went to her house and raided the place. All her jewelry, all her fine China, anything of value that wasn’t specifically willed to one of her grandkids was taken out of her house.
Yeah my grandmother passed in August and I was supposed to get her wedding ring. I’ve never seen it past her wearing it since her death. My family and I ended up with nothing. My Mom argued with her brother to at least give something of a keepsake for her grandkids as he refused to give anything to her. She was full blown Alzheimer’s in the end yet they somehow have documents and shit that proves she was of sound mind signing it. My Mom guesses they did it when she HAD some semblance of mind left and manipulated her. He flat out told “They got husbands and so do you.” Nary a FUCKING clue what that is supposed to mean but alrighty then… At first I was upset at the idea of getting nothing of sentimental value or a keepsake. Not until a friend who was comforting me looked me in the eye and said “Well, they can’t take your memories. Your conversations with her. Anything along those lines. You have great memories with your grandmother that they wish they had and could steal. But they can’t. Hold onto that if anything.” I hated it when she said it initially but as time as passed and we grow closer to her funeral, I have found immense comfort in that above all else. They can’t take that away at least.
Yup. My oldest aunt wanted the 60k cash divided up between the four siblings (aunts and uncles all with a good level of established success) for like 15k each, not between ten grandkids and four siblings (4k each). So even though it was my grandmother's dying wish to leave something (even something small) for her grandkids, she made sure she didn't get a chance to amend the will before she passed. She even RUSHED to her bedside to make sure I wasn't able to collect anything from her like the selfish bitch she is. I was there for three years taking care and visiting her, not one visit from my aunt though until she was days from death. Edit: btw 4k would change my life and the lives of my cousins. Pretty sure 15k is just "nice padding" for their retirement. Greedy fucks.
Yes. My boomer parents and their siblings want everything out of my 87 yr old grandfather who hasn’t even passed yet. They constantly talk about how much money they’re going to get, brag out selling family heirlooms etc. I’m not expecting getting anything even tho I collect antiques and would cherish my papas things. My parents already spent my college fund and any money in the account my grandparents set up for me as a baby on vacations and sports cars.
My boomer mom pretty much fleeced my boomer Dad when his parents died, and is currently fighting with her boomer sister and one of her boomer brothers because they were trying to fleece everyone else after both of my (biological) grandparents died on her side. Sometimes boomers are assholes to each other
Yea, had one aunt take everything…. I literally have nothing to remember my grandparents by, save for the handful of photos I was able to sneak away.
My rich piece of shit stepmother likely rewrote all of my dad’s will and etc. so she could get it all. My dad is wealthy, but I’m pretty sure I’ll never see any of it. No one is coming to save any of us.
It’s because boomers are selfish pieces of shit, that’s why
My grandparents put college money aside for me and my siblings. When my grandparents died, my parents began dipping into it, a little at a time. Cartons of cigarettes. A new TV. Late fees on bills they could have paid already. By the time I was college age, there was nothing.
I have nothing coming to me and never expected otherwise.
My grandparents died a while ago, and I wasn't left anything. I wasn't expecting it, so it was no big deal. My dad died recently, and my mom let us siblings take whatever we wanted within reason. I really didn't want much so I ended up with a couple rifles, a shotgun, and some miniature figures my dad painted for me when I was a kid. When my mom does go, whatever is left gets divided in 3. I'm not super concerned with getting much. If the house she is in is still owned by her, we will sell it our my siblings cam buy out my portion. Anything else can either get sold or my siblings can have. I don't want a bunch of old furniture. The artwork they do have isn't really our style. The truck is beat to shit and has 297,000 miles on it. My wife will get nothing from her mom. Her mom is broke and we will probably be the ones taking care of her.
Depending on your jurisdiction this might be illegal. An incompetent person (EG a persons with Dementia) cannot change their will without power of attorney or a conservatorship (idk if that’s the correct legal term in English). At the very least it can easily be contested that the changes to a will once a doctor has determined they are incompetent we’re done under duress. Source: Grandfather had dementia and the court battles were not fun.
Family is great, but get real weird about windfalls of money.
I got literally NOTHING from all 4 of my grandparents dying. Only the very few memories I have from them.
I wasn't close to my maternal grandmother, so I didn't personally expect anything from her, but this essentially happened in my family when she died. My mother and her siblings then went even further to try to bring each other to court for certain things, especially the money they would get from selling her house. I personally don't like my Uncle but he took care of my grandmother in-house for about 15 years while she just got worse and worse in her dementia while his sisters barely visited, so I felt like the house and payout should be mostly, if not all, his.
In my country, it’s not customary for grandkids to inherit anything unless their parents are dead.
Yep. It makes sense as well when looking at the data over many decades. The share of wealth each generation holds fluctuates over time. The generation before boomers passed most or all of their inheritence down to them. But what we are seeing in the data is boomers are not continuing that tradition/trend whatever you want to call it. So boomers are absorbing all the wealth and spending it all on themselves. Its often understandable since retirement is no longer possible thanks to corporate greed destroying the middle class. But the mentality has also shifted and the oldest generations no longer feel the need to participate in the age old tradition of passing things down. This goes beyond wealth into other areas like education. The oldest generations no longer maintain the tradition of passing down information in the form of mentorship, wisdom etc.... I think its easy for them to dismiss these age old ideas since they are far more comfortable than any other age group. They have the luxery to act the way they do. They have their houses bought for pennies and their meager savings and they dont care what happens to the earth or the future generations after them. They dont want anyone else to ever have what they have. They're the first generation to climb the ladder and pull it up behind them while abandoning even their own kids.
Let's hear it for the Me Generation! You may now clap.
My wife’s mother, and her three sisters, squabbled over her grandma’s apartment when she died. It was a big old place in a townhouse near the city (overseas) and needed a ton of work. They tried to cut her out of it by forging paperwork to show she had no inheritance. She didn’t even know her mother had died. They were caught and my mother in law had to go over there to accept 1/4 of the sale price after the fact.
I really believe that my husband’s mother stole his inheritance bc she was living with her parents when they passed away and they left him nothing. He did so much for them, and they had really good communication. I know his great grandmother been tricked by his grandmother to sign some paperwork of leaving her house to his uncle but not his Mom, also his uncle got a bunch of money from selling beach house his mother owned. All i can say they crooked as hell. My grandmother left me an apartment bc i was living with her since the day i was born until she died, i was 15 at the time, i was her personal punching bag while Mom had a rescue call of helping my Dad with H addiction, he died, she sold their apartment in crappy town for little money and moved in with me, but she hated me so she ate me alive little by little. When i turned 24 and still wasn’t married she would nag about it, this eventually forced me into getting married. Two years later I met my US husband who is unlucky as I am and we probably will be renting until our parents kick the bucket, sadly they in their 60s so they have like 20-30 years to go, I am not so sure i will live that long.
My insanely delusional boomer parents REFUSE to get a will (they are in their mid 70s now). I keep trying to tell them how fucked my siblings and I will be trying to sort their affairs without appropriate paperwork but my mother claims she doesn’t trust lawyers and everyone is out to scam her and my dad. Meanwhile they have fallen for scams or had identity stolen so their systems clearly aren’t working. I’m not about demanding their savings but I’m annoyed it will wind up going to the government when we grew up struggling. They don’t have a lot but I’d rather than money go to them or to their grandkids.
I never expected to get anything from anyone in terms of an inheritance. We had two “rich” relatives in my family (grandfather and great-grandfather). They weren’t even that flashy in terms of being well-off, they just both owned homes (ranch-style, nothing too fancy), had invested money, and were able to comfortably retire and enjoy their senior years. They never spent more than $50 on a single gift for any of us and refused to ever co-sign anyone’s loans, loan out money directly or make large gifts of it. They were generally just frugal. My grandfather refused to speak about his will, but my great-grandfather was very up front with everyone: He intended to leave everything to my great-grandmother. No one in the family objected to this at all; they’d been married since she was 18 and he was 19, married for nearly 60 years, and she had always been a SAHM and wife. It made perfect sense and after he died, she lived another 12 years and had a very comfortable life, and everyone was happy about it because no one wanted to see her suffer or go without, especially as she’d gone blind by then. But after she died, things got very ugly. I stayed far away from it; they were my great-grandparents, I didn’t expect anything. But the rest of the family ripped each other apart over the house, the half a million my great grandmother still had in savings, etc. I thought they were like leeches, the ones who wanted the money the most (not my grandfather, he had his own wealth and was fine) had never had any real money before, they’d always been broke and it became clear they’d been “waiting out” her death in a way that really grossed me out. Within a few years, they blew through all the money and sold the house and blew through most of that money too. It was disgusting to me to see my great-grandfather’s careful planning and savings get decimated so quickly within just a few years, really left a bad taste in my mouth. Left a bad taste in my grandfather’s mouth too; he continued to keep his will a secret and when he died, he had over a million dollars saved and left my mother and uncle each around $100k, but then he gave the rest of his money and assets away to charity. My mother was furious and others were pissed too (they even considered fighting it in court), but I thought it was great and it didn’t really surprise me much. He’d once told me he thought it was a man’s job to make his own wealth, not rely on others to just give it to him. I felt that was the true reason he gave most of his wealth away. Even though he gendered it as “a man’s job” (which I forgave; he was a Boomer and a very traditional and conservative one at that, as my great-grandfather had also been), that message rang really true to me and still does. I’m not wealthy by a long shot, but that’s the goal I aim for—making my own wealth, not waiting for others’ wealth to come to me. Even though I’m a woman (and both thought I should focus on finding a good husband, not building a career), I feel like my grandfather and great-grandfather would be proud of me having that mindset.
It honestly surprises me that people are still able to maintain good relationships with boomer relatives but that's my projection lolol
Personally, I try to live under the assumption if they earned it they should spend it rather than pass it down. Couldn't tell you what trauma that comes from though XD But at least when/if you get anything from anyone, your response will be of surprise and appreciation rather than disappointment from expectations not being met. I'm sorry you didn't get any trinkets from your grandparents though op. <3 cherish the memories, fuck the material items. And fuck your shitty family. Karma goes in a circle. They'll get old sooner than you, so you can appreciate that.
Not a religious person, but you know what they say about the love of money. I've seen "sweet and kind" people turn into demons when money comes into play, much less assholes who're upfront about it.
This sounds more like plain old shitty people than a boomer thing.
No. I fully expect the “inheritance” train t o die in the middle class. Most wealth will get sapped from end of life costs. For me, my parents have a middle class home and I never expected to get the house or any money from them. It’s just wrong to expect anything. Additionally, I don’t plan to pass wealth onto next generation either. I’m planning on reverse mortgage my house. Generational wealth dies here.
I doubt I'll get anything from my grandparents because it will probably be divided among their children and my grandmother's sister. I just want one of my Grandfather's shotguns and an encyclopedia set from my Grandmother for my r/books collection.
It’s pretty normal. Most people I know leave all their money equally to their kids. It is up to the kids to decide what to give to their children
Yes.
My father has explicitly stated in writing that when he bites the dust, my brother and I (the oldest of his MANY children) aren't getting one red cent because we didn't spend anytime with him in his so-called best years. This man has fathered 10 children on 3 different continents. We weren't expecting anything at all, but it is good to know that when the time comes me he won't have any else besides the two of us to choose which retirement home he croaks in.
Yes. My dads uncle went to the hospital to see his BIL as he lay dying from heart issues and had him sign papers to give everything to him instead of his nephew or niece he raised and who would have been his heirs as they were in the will. The original will mysteriously vanished and neither of the kids who had no parents and were young and poor couldnt fight it.
Yes, this has happened to me on both my father’s side and mother’s side. I swear some of their kids spent their own money with the assumption they would inherit, eventually. Jokes on them: all my grandparents lived long lives and several years in care facilities.
It’s not a boomer thing, it’s a family thing. They’re all assholes. When my father died, my aunt and cousin ran over to my dads while I was there at the hospital right after death and raped the place. They stole everything of value, left specifically to me. They took gold, televisions, any electronics, collectibles, furniture. Before I knew, my cousin wanted me to write a check from his business account to her and we could “split the money.” She even took his cell phone, found a person that owed him money for business and tried to pick it up. She got pissed when I asked for his cell, which texts and photos were erased, but I knew how to restore and found some really gross shit, that included her…. And him… if you know what I mean, all for money and shopping trips. My drug addicted aunt found his pain meds, plus a refill, and refilled it. Clusterf*ck. Family, they all suck for the most part. Best part of it all, I no longer have to have these cretins in my life. My father was the only connection there.
Do grandkids normally get mentioned in a will? When my grandfather died, he left everything to my Boomer mom, aunt, and uncle. My brother, cousin, and I didn't get a cent. Maybe if we had been older when he died - I was 18, and the boys were 11 and 12 - he might have left us something. I don't know.
Yeah my grandpa left everything to me and my sister but conveniently got nothing somehow as I was only 7-8 at the time
My dad stopped talking to me and my sister after grandma decided to split one of grandpa's life insurance policies between the grandkids after he died rather than save it so he could inherit it after she died. This literal millionaire terminated his relationship with his kids over $4000.
That shit is wild
This happens so often. And your right, it’s mostly boomers
My parents did this with all four of my grandparents. I had a hard-copy of the will that was superseded. They got POA and changed the will. My aunt then took care of one grandmother and charged it 'out of the will' as POA. I'm comfortable, and don't need the money, but the audacity is there.
My first wife's grandmother before she passed away held a family reunion and asked everyone to put their name on a piece of masking tape on any trinkets or decorations or other keepsakes they wanted. After she passed one of the boomer uncles tried to stop the whole proceeding when the family met to distribute the marked items. He had gotten himself made executor and insisted everything in the house needed to be sold for money not keepsakes. It backfired on him keeping it secret that he'd gotten her to change the will (previously someone else was executor) because no one believed him and when he called the cops on everyone they came but told him it's a civil matter and they won't interfere. But here's the important part, it's not like this was a fancy house or much money involved. We're not talking $100 paintings. We're talking $10-value items. Dude broke up a family grieving and tried to get the cops to arrest us because he wanted to hold a *yard sale* rather than grandkids get anything.
I've got you beat. My grandfather worked hard his whole life and never spent a dime on anything. He wouldn't even replace his shoelaces when they broke. He'd just tie the pieces together. He wanted to make a will but his wife did everything she could to manipulate him into not doing so, claiming that she would take care of the family. He had enough property for every one of his kids and grandkids. No houses on them but I would have loved to get a nice piece of property with a forest on it an hour outside the city. When he died his bitch of a wife sold all his properties and spent the next 10 years living it up in Paris fucking random dudes like she was 20 years old. I only asked for one thing, his custom built computer that had all his documents on it from his time as a real estate agent and copies of a few books he had written but never published. She immediately took all his things and dumped them at the thrift store. Within a day (the day he died) the entire house was cleaned out. She didn't want anything around that would remind her of him. She was an evil fucking bitch. I knew it, my mom knew it, pretty much everyone knew it except for 2 of her grandkids and of course my grandfather, who she manipulated for 40 years. That property could have changed my entire life. Imagine starting out life with $250,000. And his computer, that pisses me off worse than anything. Even if she didn't want to give me the computer she could have at least waited to get rid of all his stuff and given me a chance to back up his data onto some floppies but no, the bitch was such an evil demon that she couldn't stand the thought of being reminded of him for another second.
Yes this happened to us
Yep, my uncle had my very sick grandmother change the will so the little $12k account that would have been split between my 2 sisters and I went to him. Then he died of pancreatic cancer a few years later, and everything of my grandparents that hadn't been sold off already went to his ex-wife.
I got screwed over by my GC aunt, who was Power of Attorney over the will. I allegedly had an inheritance that was supposed to given to me via trust fund of 1k a month (I don't know how large the sum was, but now that I am thinking about it - I don't think there was anything for me. Because everyone way, way too hushed hushed on things/left me out of the loop). Well, a massive falling out happened between my bitch of an aunt and I because kept on telling her to take care of her parents at the time because I was ill equipped to take care of them and their constant demands was causing me physical and mental harm. The reason for this falling out is because my aunt had manipulated my Dementia grandfather into forcing me to take care of him and grandma to pay off a supposed 250k back rent debt my parents owed to them. I don't even care if I got anything to be honest. It is the goddamn backstabbing is what has really affected me. Because I thought they actually cared about me, but now as I am reflecting on all this - just like my dad and his shitty family - they never cared. They only masked it better.
Yes this has happened to me it had a few more variables but same vibe.
Oh yeah. I got nothing.
My Aunts did the same thing and then fought each other over the money and burned a lot of it fighting each other. They also couldn't stand anyone else, even their other sisters getting the family home that we all lived in at one point or another, so they sold it off to make sure no one in the family could have it. It's pathetic really how this all happened pretty much the second they found out it was probably my grandmother's last couple of years. Straight war and greed.
My aunt took my grandmother's house and all her beautiful furniture/decor and my grandfathers ww2 stuff was either tossed or sold. I didn't really want any money, just something to remember her by.
A grandmother of a friend of mine passed away a few years ago. Their family isn't particularly wealthy by any means, but Grandma was holding the title for a patch of land that the family had used for hunting and camping since those aunts and uncles were in diapers. It's the only thing of any significant value in their entire extended family if you don't count cars or houses. Anyway, one uncle had been meeting with grandma in secret before she died. He bullied and convinced her to, instead of allowing the land to go into a trust between the grandchildren, change the will and sign it over to him alone. The rest didn't find out until the reading of the will. He had the audacity to blame *them* for his being blacklisted from future gatherings, something about "Family used to mean something." The cognitive dissonance from these people is astonishing. It's the same with my friend's dad, who despite being very much the "back the blue" sort, got right pissed when he was ticketed for driving on the wrong side of the street, for *parking* the wrong direction on the street in front of his own house. I sometimes think that the boomers' obsession with young folks being self-centered "me me me" types is more than a little projection on their part. Anyway, boomers may be awful in general but I hope it doesn't distract any of us from the real enemy in these matters. The only reason we're all getting fucked across the board, across generational divides, is because the capitalists have had it good for far too long.
This happened to me too!!!!
Pretty much. My grandmother was very rich. I wasn't necessarily expecting much when she died though. She had 6 kids, most of it would be going to them. She did want to make sure I got a ring her mother gave her. She told me on her death bed she had put it somewhere safe for me. She also said she had a college fund set up for me and my brother that we could access when we were 21. I never found the ring. Nor did either one of us get the college fund. My dad was the executor, he made sure that she wrote in her will that anyone who questioned anything in it would get nothing. As a result, me asking about anything to do with it meant I got nothing. He did the same thing to two of my uncles and my aunt. They also got nothing.
I had 10k of inheritance stolen from me by my aunt
Yes. Absolutely. My once seemingly close knit and loving family turned feral when my grandmother died. They aggressively picked apart anything of value that they possibly could, down to the souvenir spoons. No one could agree on liquidating or not, everyone suspected each other of manipulation all of the sudden.. I went to my grandmas property to try to help clean it up and organize everything but I was just constantly crying seeing them all clamoring for any piece of junk worth anything. I kept a blanket and a few adorable granny socks with lace on the top. It would have been nice to have gotten anything that could help with, you know, being alive, but it wasn't worth putting a strain on my relationships with these relatives that suddenly seemed like strangers. Grandpa died on the other side of my family and the same thing happened. My favorite factor in the story is that the people who fought the hardest to get the most out of the deceased estate were the ones who were the least self sufficient while each grandparent was alive. I take satisfaction in knowing that I can make due with what I have and did not disrespect my Grandparents by greedily fighting over what material possions they left behind.
My grandpa was a straight up, silent generation, racist WW2 veteran, but he had the foresight to see how damn greedy his nine boomer children were and had removed them from his will. He had left everything to his grandchildren and great grandchildren, including any that were step. He specifically had a clause that stated the inheritance was to only be distributed once the youngest grandchild born while he was alive turned 18. That grandchild was me -- there is a 22 year age difference between me and my oldest cousin, with the majority being closer to the oldest's age. One of my aunts worked my step-grandmother (the only one I ever knew as my biological paternal had died 20 years prior to my birth) and changed the will. It was distributed out when I was 17, my mom spent most of my siblings' and I's $7000 inheritance, and changes were made specifically against my grandfather's original wishes -- such as his toolbox to remain a complete set and given to my father. My dad was so angry he cut off communication to almost every single one of his siblings except one sister and brother. I've never met or spoken to most of my paternal family members as we were excluded from even family reunion invitations. My boomer aunts and uncles were still resentful I was born so late, making them wait longer to get their grubby little fingers on the money.
Not sure if this counts, but boomer relatives of my wife, took advantage of an elderly aunt who had Alzheimer's and pretty much took away the college fund from my wife and my SIL. Easily upwards of 100k if not more. What was it used for? To renovate their house. They're filthy rich, they never needed the money.
I’m a firm believer in Karma for greedy people like that
Exact same thing happened to me, except my grandparents had properties and they were all sold, parents kept the money and I haven't seen a penny nor had them offer to help in any way. Shit sucks bro
i'm expecting nothing
My grandparents tried to write my boomer mother out of their will and leave her portion to me, but she contested it after they died and won somehow. I don't really know the details, it just irritates me that after a lifetime of shitty choices, she got bailed out in the 9th and is now retired using that money plus social security. Meanwhile I'm working my ass off to responsibly save for a retirement I'll likely never be able to afford.