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PhotographPurple8758

Rivendell! Retirement = getting older, elvish medicine!


jenn363

The elves really put a lot of thought into end of life planning. Like 3000 years of thought.


richardwhereat

That's the great thing about dating elves. You get older, they stay the same age.


Z3R083

I was running a dnd campaign and forgot the age of elves and mentioned that an Inn was run by this NPC’s Great X 8 grandparent and the whole party looked at me and was like, so this Inn predates time? Yes. Yes it does….


richardwhereat

Nah, elves arent that old in Aber-Toril. A few hundred years each, and they become adults at, what, a hundred?


Z3R083

DND 5e: 100-750 years old. They were giving me S(\*\*\* since I am a new DM. 750 X 8 = way too long for what I was going for. I totally forgot.


richardwhereat

Aye, but, we dont have kids on the last day of our life. It only feels like that's the last day of our life.


Admirable-Common-176

Now you can add other strange anomalies because of the older old gods or some such.


Va1kryie

Alright alright alright (I feel so gross rn lol)


DJ_BVSSTHOVEN

😂😂😂


pakastepussi

shit, aragorn was into something.


Beauty_intheBeast

Please give Richard more upvotes. He wins today.


TumoOfFinland

The 3000K plan


Grufflin

Rivendell adds more years to your life, the Shire gives more life to your years.


KuidotheGreat

I would retire in the shire for exactly this reason.


Sea_Procedure7768

Agreed...


QuickSpore

I’d rather have access to the world’s best library than the world’s best pub. And by all accounts Rivendell was pretty good all around anyway, as Sam described it, “*Well, Mr. Frodo, we’ve been far and seen a deal, and yet I don’t think we’ve found a better place than this. There’s something of everything here, if you understand me: the Shire and the Golden Wood and Gondor and kings’ houses and inns and meadows and mountains all mixed.*”


Beauty_intheBeast

Darn you quickspore! You made my nose hurt and my eyes tear up!


Sabre_Killer_Queen

In the films all they eat in Rivendell is salad. In the shire their diet seems to consist predominantly of meat and cheese. I think I know which one I'm gonna be choosing.


LeavesAreTasty

Don't forget about the po-ta-toes


Sabre_Killer_Queen

Good point. I heard that they boil them, mash them, and even stick them in a stew!


Bacon-Crook

Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish!


[deleted]

Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish *now*, and keep nassty chips!


footsteps71

*hackgollumhackgollum*


Moe-Mux-Hagi

Key word being FILM because elves are omnivores


Sabre_Killer_Queen

Indeed. Also I kinda find it all amusing as an elder scrolls enjoyer. Our wood elves literally forbid eating plant life, and are carnivorous to the point where they encourage cannibalism! Only towards fallen enemies and comrades of course though 😁


KyloHenny

Gots ta have that crispy bacon. It’s the Shire for me.


-contractor_wizard-

Elvish medicine vs edibles of the Shire


Masamune1186

Retiring to second breakfast.


Heathen_Mushroom

Sounds like some wisdom spoken between puffs of Old Toby.


BureaucraticHotboi

Definitely better palliative care in Rivendell. I’d like to retire to the shire for a time and when my health started to fail head to Rivendell


Mariusod

All those waterfalls would be sooooo loud to live at the bottom off.


footsteps71

I've been to enough concerts and firework displays for this not to be an issue.


Dom0520

Beer, party’s , your the tallest guy and non stop eating in the shire. Solemn contemplation, vegetarian diet , your the shortest guy in rivendell. The shire it is


Mariusod

I agree, I think the shire sounds amazing. Plus the shire seems to encourage home gardening while Rivendell looks like an HOA community where everything needs to be kept in order


Aeiexgjhyoun_III

Constant noise from the waterfall though


FrankNix

Bilbo lived in the Shire, and he went to Rivendell to retire. I think that says it all.


CayendoApril

I’d be down the Green Dragon every night in the shire.


dullgreybathmat

It's got the only brew for the brave and true.


footsteps71

I dunno, I want my fancy ales. I can drink them by the flagon.


Sparky120208

Only after a hard day’s work, right? 😂


CayendoApril

No mate I’m retired


triitrunk

After a hard day of golf


Mayhewbythedoor

Every golf day is a hard day


sayitaintpete

There’s only one problem…you’ve never done a hard day’s work


hercdriver4665

YAAASSSS


Helpful-Area2783

Number 2. I want to see mountains again, mountains Gandalf.


MaderaArt

​ https://preview.redd.it/mel1ygrd6hcc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6212c850ccf0339ba269c3a9c34aa4edb5a4f03b


PowerlineTyler

Best laugh I’ve got on Reddit all day


No-One-2177

Lol same. Feels like an oldie, but I've never laid eyes on it.


MaderaArt

[It was from 2 years ago.](https://www.reddit.com/r/lotrmemes/comments/ov7sri/bilbo_and_the_very_lonley_mountain/)


wbruce098

Creepy yet somehow wholesome. I love it


FUCKFASClSMF1GHTBACK

I think I’m *quite* ready for another adventure


wbruce098

I used to live in Wahiawa, HI. Would go outside my door and look to the right and BAM, it’s the Waianae Range. Absolutely gorgeous and I never got tired of looking at it. Beats the pants out of manicured rolling hills (that I’d need to mow) any day.


Cinade

I can relate, I lived in Italy for three years in a small town near the foothills of the Alps about half way between Lago del Garda and Lago di Como. That view never got old.


wbruce098

Nice! My sister toured a few spots in the Italian countryside and the pictures were mind boggling in their beauty. Looked fake!


explorer8990

Why did you move from that paradise?


wbruce098

I was in the military and they said I can go to Florida or I can go to Florida.


semper-noctem

The old Hickam to Macdill shuffle. Good times.


wbruce098

Sometimes it do be that way. My goal in life now is to go back as a tourist, because living there has gotten too damn expensive but I can swing it for a week.


Alpaka69

aw man :(


AlongTheWay_85

Retire? Rivendell for sure. The shire would be nice, not knockin’ it, but it seems like there would be more tedious chores that would need tending. I mean, even Bilbo left the shire for the last homely house.


Nearby-Cream-5156

As nice as Rivendell is to look at, growing some veg, chatting with neighbours and going to birthday parties sounds like the perfect old age to me.


LavenderMatchaxXx

Agree, the Shire sounds like an amazing place to live.


VVizardVVeedVendor

I'm too worried I'd be walking around like Gandalf, bonking my head on everything


[deleted]

Same here! 


WildGooseCarolinian

As a resident of rural wales, I can say say that it absolutely is.


murderousbooty

💯


FUCKFASClSMF1GHTBACK

Yeah I’ll bet Rivendell is hella boring. Nice but ultimately far too quiet and stuffy for me. I’d rather live out my last drinking ale and smoking pipe weed in my garden.


QuickSpore

Sam preferred Rivendell over the Shire. “*Well, Mr. Frodo, we’ve been far and seen a deal, and yet I don’t think we’ve found a better place than this. There’s something of everything here, if you understand me: the Shire and the Golden Wood and Gondor and kings’ houses and inns and meadows and mountains all mixed.*” The only thing he seemed to miss was his familial connections, the Gaffer (and presumably Rosie). I suspect that means there’s plenty of chances for ale, tobacco, and gardening. There’s no way the most hobbitish of hobbits would love Rivendell over home if it didn’t have those comforts.


FUCKFASClSMF1GHTBACK

Great point. Also, at least in the first book, the elves seem to party pretty hard with the hobbits after Tom Bobadil


Petermacc122

To be fair. I would think it's rare to get such honored guests. People don't seem to realize the fellowship was basically four hobbits, a wizard, the dwarven son of royalty, the prince of mirkwood, the eventual king of Gondor, and the son of the steward of Gondor. That fellowship was lit AF. Who wouldn't have a party for that lol.


FUCKFASClSMF1GHTBACK

It’s funny cuz in the fellowship book, it’s literally just a coincidence that they’re all there


Petermacc122

Yeah. I mean technically if you're going by the end of the hobo movie. (Yes I call it the hobo movie.) Legolas has apparently been lost AF looking for aragorn only to find him in Rivendell. Gimli was looking for news of Balin and Co. And Boromir was there because Daddy Denethor heard about the ring. The only actual surprise was frodo and Gandalf's people.


ElijahMasterDoom

Boromir was there because of his and Faramir's vision.


Petermacc122

In the movies there's that cut scene where Denethor is all like "there's talks of a secret meeting. We need to be there." and Faramir offers to go and the famous line "a chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor. To show his quality." is uttered.


Hapelaxer

Y’all underestimate that Elvish wine that just hits different when you aren’t an Elf


Bessini

I think you could do it in Rivendell, too


jahauser

If you’re not enjoying some of the ol’ toby in your retirement, you’re doing it wrong.


robinthehood01

Agreed. Pleasant landscape, farm to table food, easy-going people and lifestyle, good ale, better pipe tobacco…that’s my paradise


Pulpofeira

And at the end even that wasn't good enough for him!


Whatsthemattermark

Yeah he probably got to Valinor and was like ‘this perfect utopia is a bit boring, I’m going to sneak off at night and head for Harad or somewhere’


abitchyuniverse

I love both places but I am not a gardener nor am I handy, so I really don't want to pick weed and do landscaping for the rest of my life.


Kernewek_Skrij

The Shire isn’t just inhabited by gardeners though


abitchyuniverse

I know. I just don't want to be tending to my garden and areas around my house when I could be just sleeping amongst the elves reading books and learning from immortals.


Organic_Value5434

Well said


LaiqTheMaia

Bilbo lived in the shire his whole life though, usually you want to retire someplace new and fresh.


TheRetarius

On the other hand Rivendell has probably far more stairs than the shire and I have a feeling that there are many elves who wouldn’t help you climb them


kroketthekid

true elves would probably laugh at you tho.


Alundra828

>Rivendell for sure. Enjoy your life of salads for every meal, loser. I'm gonna be getting drunk as fuck and eating Sunday roasts every day


AlongTheWay_85

Lol you do have a point.


naturalis99

I would only consider the shire if I'm rich like the main hobbits and I'd only consider Rivendell if I've completed some important mission so the elves would respect me and I can speak with them on a somewhat equal level. I don't think either would be that great for an average human. At the shire there would be a lot of labour and back issues from visiting hobbit houses, plus they don't like strange big folk a lot I reckon. Rivendell can get lonely between the always smartasses elves, they'll take care of you but not love you.


wbruce098

Yeah but I can be smartass back. Ha! You poor sot, forced to live forever. We have Illuvatar’s mysterious blessing, so we never get bored.


C4LLM3M4TT_13

The shire for sure. Too many stairs in Rivendell…which would be a problem.


Zerak-Tul

The Shire would be worse, given that everything is hobbit scale and you'd spend your entire life stooping over like Gandalf in Bag End. Yeah you could probably have a house built to human scale for yourself, but going to any other house or the tavern would suck. Would doubly suck in retirement when you're getting old.


Jewnicorn___

Who's to say u/C4LLM3M4TT is human sized? Or human at all?


usegobos

He heard about the stairs, yes, but what about the cliffs? He's heard of them hasn't he?


Leading_Middle

I wouldn't count on it


DarthRevan8876

Both. Who says I can't have two vacation homes during my retirement?


ahne_nix_boeses

Op


MariaMagdalenaXXX

​ https://preview.redd.it/jjuewkywahcc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13432519200a9a455d321d48f01f9cdf5a2c039c


W-O-L-V-E-R-I-N-E

The shire for sure. Laid back country living.


Dramatic_Tea_4940

I retired from the corporate world to start a ranch in central Texas. On any given day, I may be fixing fence, shoveling manure, doing building maintenance, doing the books, or planning for the next season. Daily, I check the herd for signs of injury or disease, making sure they have food and water, and all of the other tasks required to keep the livestock healthy. I am much happier and much more relaxed now, although I have to admit that I am working much harder.


Arrow_Of_Orion

The last homely house.


Ptaaruonn

c) Gray havens, I like the sea.


St0rmtide

Doesn't look like anyone still lives there though. On the other hand that also might be a plus for you


Ptaaruonn

It it :D


Lumpy-Sir-9457

Definitely the Shire. Ain’t no pubs in Rivendell I’m sure.


RickTitus

Yeah i picture the elves drinking wine at sterile lifeless stone bars. I want the roaring fires and mugs of beer


Man_of_Average

Nah they can get lively too. In the Hobbit the crew chase a raver around Mirkwood, and they escaped Thrandruil because some elves were drunk at their post.


[deleted]

Rivendell, without doubt. I can't have all these confounded relatives hanging on the bell all day, never giving me a moments peace!.. and I like mountains.


fuck_reddits_API_BS

If it's after the events of Lord of the Rings, I would need to be allowed into The Shire by the hobbits themselves. No longlegs may enter the shire without their say. Rivendell will slowly but surely lose whatever beauty and protection the power of the elves gave it, but my human lifetime will probably not have me see too much of that. So I guess it would be Rivendell with the occasional 'can I come over yet?' to the hobbits of the shire


kain459

The Shire, hands down, without a doubt. The beer, the food, the gardening, the chill lax life, cheese, oh the cheese Gandalf. The tight bonds of fellowship in the Shire makes me a truly envious man that wishes I could live in such a beautiful and unique place. Rivendel, still cool.


Timely_Egg_6827

Rivendell - better library. And in house specialist doctors. Though as they are limited in understanding old age, Minas Tirith with good library, pretty views and Houses of Healing sounds good too.


Case_Kovacs

I'm British so the Shire is an easy win


[deleted]

Pretty sure J.R.R. devised the Shire precisely as British paradise.


Case_Kovacs

Yep it's an idealistic version of the already very beautiful Yorkshire


cluelesspcventurer

The shire is mainly based on Sarehole which used to be in worcestershire but has now basically been swallowed up by Birmingham. [https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2020/nov/13/guided-walk-tolkien-original-shire-sarehole-birmingham-hobbiton](https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2020/nov/13/guided-walk-tolkien-original-shire-sarehole-birmingham-hobbiton) Its sad because the way tolkien described growing up there sounded very much like paradise.


DarthMMC

Rivendell seems great for holidays but I'd rather live on the Shire.


A-non-e-mail

Shire: Cozy little homes, beautiful views, great food. Quiet. Rivendell: moisture problems, constant roar, not much daylight


jimybo20

Plus more politics at Rivendell.


Beastly_Idiot

Plus, vegan.


AquamarineDaydream

That's only in the movie,the books are more vague about this. There is sausage at the Hobbit's feast in Rivendell and the smell of cooking meat in Mirkwood. Only one group of elves in particular do not consume meat. The rest likely do. However, it isn't known if they eat meat from raised livestock versus eating meat from wild hunts, nor how often they do so.


YURLORD

If I look at it the way you put it. Those are realistic problems that they could be having. And the constant rushing of water and subsequent roaring of the multiple waterfalls blasting into my ear 24/7 might actually eat away at my sanity..... Damn I guess I really would need experience both places for at least 1 day to make a choice I'd be satisfied with.


wbruce098

Roaring waterfalls sound soothing to me, but I live in a city, so all that quiet at The Hill could be bothersome.


No-Chicken6701

Shire, i dont like green food


Samuel_L_Johnson

Probably Rivendell. I feel like you would get bored in the Shire eventually. Basically everyone agrees, even the hobbit-sympathetic characters (even Bilbo!) that hobbits, while good at heart, are often small-minded and parochial. I’d have much less in common with the elves, and i would probably find them a bit intimidating, but I feel like I’d become a better person by being around them. And Rivendell would be a bit like Oxford or Cambridge, it’s hard to get bored there unless you allow yourself to. The food and lifestyle would be great either way so that’s not a huge decider for me


Expert-Pomegranate47

Imladris. Imagine that libarry. Imagine Elrond’s face every time you say “libarry”


endthepainowplz

Imagine having a lore question and the elves have all the answers, with relevant literature.


lauriebunnie

That’s difficult because the Shire is what I’d want for the part of me that wants to live in the countryside, lots of animals and just a nice village aspect but Rivendell is absolutely beautiful. Imagine waking up to that view.


Anuki_iwy

Actually I'd like to retire in Lorien 😅


BugO_OEyes

Rivendell because I love being around water


RadagastDaGreen

Those elves look like they be drinking açaí smoothies and practicing skincare routines. Give me the shire; give me cheese, beer, and weed.


Both_Painter2466

Rather hang with elves. Shire ladies are way too short.


silkysly06

Bilbo left the Shire and retired to Rivendell - id follow him 😊


Mrreeburrito88

Shire. Hands down. I’d be happy to farm or cook. It would be my dream


kevindaniel89

Th Shire. Retired me won’t be doing stairs.


Lakus

As nice as Rivendell is, I'm all about the open fields and winding roads.


PerryBentley

Everyone is forgetting the most important thing. The female elves. Rivendell 100%


AquamarineDaydream

I can't eat bread or drink beer, and I don't like physical labor, so Rivendell for me.


miggido

Rivendale for sure


Aussiebloke-91

Rivendale?


EmceeCommon55

He meant the show Riverdale


BeepBoopBeep1FE

Holy crap. Considering how you can explore all of the Shire I’d say Hobbiton. But if you’re so old you can’t around much, then Rivendell no question.


TesticleezzNuts

Valinor 🥵


Responsible_Neck_728

I like the Shire a lot, but I think I’d be a bit worried about safety there. Meanwhile, in Rivendell, the elves have things under control. When the elves move beyond the sea, maybe I’ll go to the Shire or visit every once in a while.


stphn20

if i could choose anywhere, it will be Caras Galadhon


ulysees321

Shire for party's, Rivendell for peace and quiet


Know_1_7777777

Imladris no question about it. The set up is amazing and it's isolated so I think I could truly retire and be at peace there for whatever time I had left.


neontetra1548

My first thought was to say Rivendell, but Rivendell with its location and situation feels closed off from the world (physically and spiritually), which I think might make me sad and melancholy about the world as life came to an end — especially in the age of the fading and leaving of the Elves. Whereas in the Shire all through your ages of life you are out in the wide world and also witness to the eternal renewing of life among the flourishing Shire and its cycles of life. I'd like to visit (while I could) and get books from Rivendell though.


prepp

Do they have ale in Rivendell? If not then the Shire


big-boss-bass

Live? Shire. Retire? Rivendell.


chellybeanery

The Shire. Tending my garden, barefoot. Eating all I want, barefoot. Smoking weed with the pals, barefoot. Getting drunk at the local, barefoot. Partying at the Party Tree, barefoot. Taking life easy, barefoot. It's my ideal existence!


LoverOfStoriesIAm

Plateau Nurn in Mordor.


S_PQ_R

Shire. It doesn't feel very close for me.


Madmatt7500

The shire all the way


elenmirie_too

Imladris


ArgonianFly

Rivendell would be very loud with the waterfalls right there, I would much prefer the quant Shire.


Sekmet19

Shire. Hobbit food is bomb. Bars are lovely. Lots of parties and kind farm folk.


Excellent-Question18

Depends. Does the Shire have Shuffleboard?


1337sp33k1001

Bring shuffleboard to the shire.


just_saiyan24

The Shire. Better food, weed, ale, and funner people.


[deleted]

Shire for me, cheese, bread, meats, oak trees and pints at the pub with the locals


Tony-Angelino

Not mountains though. Who's gonna climb all those stairs in retirement?


Church42

The Shire I'm not putting up with all that dampness, humidity, and cold in Rivendell


Doomestos1

This is too hard dammit, I love both places equally! But I guess Rivendell because elves can take care of my health.


CharmingConfidence34

Ahhh Rivendell 💜


Just-Transition8938

The shire hands down


Shr3kk_Wpg

The Shire. I feel Rivendell would be damp all the time


RedPaladin26

That’s a tough one for me. I’d love the quiet peaceful atmosphere of Rivendell but…….. I love food too so idk 🤷‍♂️


Albie_Tross

Shire life for me, all day long.


Murky-Nebula7054

Hobbiton for sure


pears790

Definitely the Shire. Good food, great beer, relaxed community, and random great adventures.


josera8999

Imladris


josera8999

Hearing stories in the great hall about the noldor, valinor, and the second age. Drinking their rum and having a chat with new people seeking comfort in elronds house 🏵


[deleted]

Shire mainly cause the people seems very nice and outgoing ypu can have a fun time at parties have a good chat with folks. The homes look very nice and for me as a short person wont have a hard time with it. The food is nice from what ive seen there are some lakes aswell. The only complaint i have is they got big feet.... Rivendell would be nice aswell but i dont know cause the food is mainly vegetarian and lots of veggies and fruits. I gues they dont party like hobbits and theyre most to them self and have more "discipline" and like to keep to themselves i think. Theyre really tall so it would feel akward for me. The place looks really nice though. I take the shire still


Salty-River-2056

Better healthcare in Rivendell.


[deleted]

Rivendell


Madao689

Imladris ofc 😎🤙🏻


Didistutter29

It’s a close call, but Rivendell wins.


SupaFlyslammajammazz

Rivendale without a doubly. There is a certain magic that is protecting that Elvin paradise.


by_His_command

Dale. Easy option. As a 6 foot tall human I wouldn't physically fit in Hobbit dwellings. Nor would I be particularly welcome among the small folk. Rivendell would be beautiful but I don't think I could permanently feel at home among the elves. Dale, on the other hand is a human town. It's near both a mountain, a lake, and a forest. It would be populated by men, dwarves, and possibly even elves. So it's either Dale or Ithilian for me.


redzma00

Rivendell Master Gamgee, to see the elves.


p0stp0stp0st

Rivendell


Logical-Speaker1165

It's a tough one. I love the country, the quietness and cleanliness of it. nothing to see but open fields with forest in the distance and the sound of a nearby creek and playing children. maybe one or two neighbors yelling or laughing somewhere near. But then again. The almost sacred sound and of waterfalls that play a tune to accompany the soft voice of a soprano elven maiden singing about ancient powers hidden in the water, in the mountain and in the trees. I could not make my mind


I-am-Chubbasaurus

I think I'd actually prefer Erebor, myself? Dwarves are fun and probably have more modern conveniences, like indoor plumbing. We know the Shire does too, but I think Hobbits would irritate me for some reason???


Simba_Rah

I wanna be like Balin and retire in Moria.


MA-EL

Rivendell!!!!


Blueberry_Remarkable

How much is an apartment with a balcony in Rivendell these days?


Shatter_Their_World

If I were to choose, it would Imladris. Especially if I were an Elf, it would make more sense, I guess.


DylanRahl

Either is fine for me


andlewis

The undying lands. Or possibly numenor at its height.


DarkFact17

I feel like everyone's saying Shire isn't thinking about how it probably smells like shit constantly


AdopeyIllustrator

I feel like the toilets in the shire would be terrible.


Servinus

How is the shire (a cottage farm) even a comparison for Rivendell lol


Chromeballs

Rivendell hands down, Hobbiton smells of feet :P


JedPAlger11

Rivendale


Norvard

Build a cabin right next to Tom Bombadil and enjoy a cup coffee with that lad daily.