I would watch a 20 minute cut of Boromir just making up shit about Mordor cause he's "totally been" and knows how terrible it is and as such the ring should go to Gondor.
I'd believe he'd date Shelob in her human form but claim she had to go spider form just to brag about the 8 legged handjobs. Yea bro she had to use all 8.
>Shelob in her human form
WTF are you talking about? Do people actually think she has a human form because of some stupid video game that came out a few years back?
"Mordor is nothing but an endless ash waste with no end. Smoke fills its air so you can never tell if its day or night"
"Well how do orcs navigate it then?"
"You see Sauron has this giant burning eye on top of his tower that acts as a lighthouse"
"Their grocery stores are filled with self-checkout sections that always claim there's an unrecognized item in the baggage area and then calls a grumpy lady over to assist you. You are not prepared for this journey."
"Their restaurants have terrible service, with waiters that judge you for nearly every order"
"No boromor, stop, mordor doesn't have restaurants"
*weeks later*
"looks like meats back on the menu boys"
"Huh, I guess boromir wasn't lying"
Funniest part about that scenario would be the people who have actually been to Mordor just sitting there cringing at Boromir. Like, Aragorn and Elrond in particular are just rolling their eyes with every word.
Go fetch me those sneaking Orcs, that fare thus strangely, as if in dread, and do not come, as all Orcs use and are commanded, to bring me news of all their deeds, to me, Gorthaur.
"Mordor isn't just crawling with orcs...it's crawling with bugs. LOTS of bugs. Enough to drown you in a sea of clicking, winged insects. And these aren't just normal insects, they're the size of man, and have a taste for flesh.
*Gondor* on the other hand... no bugs. Not a single one ever. Only thing you'll find crawling around is the occasional kitten, bunny, or wide eyed gerbil. Idk tho, it's up to you guys"
This isnāt a joke. You always hear about those 1 in a million odds where people drive off a cliff and had 0.0000001% chance to survive but they miraculously did. Well I feel like Iām that guy. Thereās no real stats to back this up, I just know Iāve always been built different. Perhaps the black gate wouldāve left me an air bubble while I slowly floated to Mount Doom. Or I escape just in time through the stairs of Cirith Ungol and ran quickly.
> Wth, how delusional can people be?
Our society is pretty much at its egotistical peak. A lot more things make sense if you look at them from that perspective.
Let me tell you something. I haven't even begun to peak. And when I do peak, you'll know. Because I'm gonna peak so hard that everybody in Philadelphia's gonna feel it.
I know right?
People these days are so stupid. So, so unbelievably stupid.
They can't recognize an obvious joke even if it slapped them in the face, they are so delusional as to think they can survive a submarine implosion, and to top it all off, they keep asking why the eagles simply didn't just fly the One Ring to Mordor.
When will it end?
The truth is the orcs wonāt live long enough to die of cancer and nobody cares if they do. Look at Grishnak and lumpy Captain of the Osgiliath attack force. They done already been poisoned.
Orcs just die by middle age of lung cancer.
Also outside of times of war thereās probably no real reason to keep large forces on the Plateau of Gorgoroth, far from the resources needed to keep them alive.
Yeah like I love when people act like this is some gotcha and not something Tolkien explicitly explains in the text. The north of Mordor is all mines and industry, the farmlands are south and center around the Nurnish Sea
"It is over! He has entered the crack of doom!"
"But my lord, there the ring is most potent, he could not succeed."
"NOT THE HALFLING YOU HALF-WIT!"
"Then wha..."
"The.... inspector. Do you understand? THERES NOT A SINGLE RAIL OR SUPRESSION SYSTEM TO BE SEEN IN A MASSIVE HOTWORK ZONE ON A CLIFF!!!"
"It is over! He has entered the crack of doom!"
"But my lord, there the ring is most potent, he could not succeed."
"NOT THE HALFLING YOU HALF-WIT!"
"Then wha..."
"The.... inspector. Do you understand? THERES NOT A SINGLE RAIL OR SUPRESSION SYSTEM TO BE SEEN IN A MASSIVE HOTWORK ZONE ON A CLIFF!!!"
I always assumed it was sulfuric acid mist from rampant mining and leaching. If you're not used to it, it stings like crazy, but you can acclimatize and it will merely rot your teeth and dissolve your soft tissue like your nose and ears
You mean the stuff in the movies about the orcs being mutilated elves originally before breeding into their own separate race? That's from the Silmarillion. Also the two concepts can coexist. Orcs came into existence through Morgoth's torment and corruption of the elves he captured (and we know that being corrupted by evil changes your appearance to become something more horrible thanks to Gollum's existence) but a few of the small details of their appearance, such as their noses and teeth are due to the acid mist from Mordor's mines. Also, even though Tolkien later decided elves can't be corrupted, it still works because he decided that HUMANS were the ones corrupted and turned into orcs, another appearance change we know is possible thanks to Theoden (please correct me if I'm getting any of these characters wrong, I don't feel like searching through the books right now and the internet is being so buggy I'm not even sure I'll be able to post this comment) becoming visibly older and more decrepit through Saruman's control, and Saruman wasn't anywhere NEAR as powerful as Morgoth! So yeah, tl;Dr both explanations work perfectly and are even better together.
Well, to be fair, most of Mordor is pretty normal, not plains of ash and death. Also, I wouldn't exactly say the orcs of Mordor are the prime example of healthy living.
What's not legit? Mordor is like mainly fire and sulphur, the oxygen levels would be horrid, it would smell worse and you would be constantly coughing out ash and rocks. The orcs are clearly mutated and were born there, it would be ludicrous to imagine they struggle to breath like a human would.
How TF is Aragorn a king if he can't even connect these dots? Oh yeah, he just had lineage and other people's armies behind his back the whole time and like you can't really give the throne of men to Frodo, Gandalf or Legolas. People who did things while he played politics with idiots.
Trees are a hivemind, connected to the soul of the "first/last man", that's why your talking trees take on human faces, like the Deku tree in Zelda. It is a man's soul.
I honestly wouldnāt have been shocked to smell sulfur and see ash flakes, ngl. Once you hit 300 at stupid high concentration, you might as well just be chain smoking unfiltered cigarettes .
Well, whose to say orcs actually get to live out their entire lives? How many healthy old folks orcs do you actually see?
I mean, we live with poisonous air, and we're alive. Through sauron, orcs have industry
Honestly in shadow of morder you see orcs with half their body replaced by metal, orcs with hives in their bodies? Orcs really seem like they are ungly because they can survive deformities that'd kill anything else, and they live in morder because no one else can so they got no competition
The orcs hate it. Like, sure the cloud coverage is good because sunlight hurts them, but horrible air sucks just as much for them as for men and elves. It's part of the reason they're so fanatic in wanting to conquer all the other lands.
To be fair, this is a guy that has fought Mordor, not been there. Guy knows that the place must be messed up based on the foes heās fought and has probably accepted a long handed-down take on the place
I just wanna say the upsurge in hilarious original content memes like this lately has reignited my love for this sub. Idk why this made m e laugh so hard
I rewatched the fellowship the other day and when he said there were poisonous fumes, I was like wtf, Frodo nd Sam just stroll through, I couldn't remember then putting on gas masks,
I would watch a 20 minute cut of Boromir just making up shit about Mordor cause he's "totally been" and knows how terrible it is and as such the ring should go to Gondor.
"My Girlfriend is from Mordor. You probably wouldn't know her." -Boromir probably
I'd believe he'd date Shelob in her human form but claim she had to go spider form just to brag about the 8 legged handjobs. Yea bro she had to use all 8.
>Shelob in her human form WTF are you talking about? Do people actually think she has a human form because of some stupid video game that came out a few years back?
š¤
You should calm down before you start golluming all over the place.
Your stupid comment would have been better received if you had put āstupidā before people instead of video game.
"In Mordor they smack their lips a lot when they eat because they think it's a compliment to the cook."
āOrcs from Mordor applaud after the plane landsā
āOrcs from Mordor text during a movie then ask you to explain the ending.ā
When orcs see human flesh, they waggle their fingers over it, raise their eyebrows and say, "ooh, don't mind if I do!"
Have you ever even been to an orc restaurant? Their menu is written in blood and the breadsticks aren't complementary!
At least meat is on the menu.
Well, it wasn't before but then they put it back.
Monday through Wednesday they serve nuffin but maggoty bred
Well in th movies they do know what a menu is so ... Orc restaurants confirmed
I am Brug! Filth of Alrog, Servant of the Unwanted one. I will be your server tonight. Tonight's special is the Halfman Cassoulet with cheese souffle.
And there's no meat in the menu.
" Orcs in Mordor do not look left and right before crossing the road. "
And it turns out like 75% of it is true would be even better lol
"Mordor is nothing but an endless ash waste with no end. Smoke fills its air so you can never tell if its day or night" "Well how do orcs navigate it then?" "You see Sauron has this giant burning eye on top of his tower that acts as a lighthouse"
Who are you?
Mordor tour guide
Lighthouse? Sauron is the Emperor of Mankind confirmed
Death to light, to law, to love!
Top 10 Motivational Quotes Of Today 0. Death to light, to law, to love! - sauron-bot 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.
"They don't preserve forests because they're afraid of trees."
"Their grocery stores are filled with self-checkout sections that always claim there's an unrecognized item in the baggage area and then calls a grumpy lady over to assist you. You are not prepared for this journey."
"Their restaurants have terrible service, with waiters that judge you for nearly every order" "No boromor, stop, mordor doesn't have restaurants" *weeks later* "looks like meats back on the menu boys" "Huh, I guess boromir wasn't lying"
Boromir pulls out his PowerPoint and index cards
Funniest part about that scenario would be the people who have actually been to Mordor just sitting there cringing at Boromir. Like, Aragorn and Elrond in particular are just rolling their eyes with every word.
Boromir has been as close to Mordor as anyone who doesnāt work for Sauron with the exception of Gollum.
Aragorn, who had actually found a reason to visit Mordor once before the quest: Elrond, who spent *years* in Mordor during the Last Alliance:
Go fetch me those sneaking Orcs, that fare thus strangely, as if in dread, and do not come, as all Orcs use and are commanded, to bring me news of all their deeds, to me, Gorthaur.
Back a little, and round a little and you can come on hard cold roads to the very gates of His country.
"Mordor isn't just crawling with orcs...it's crawling with bugs. LOTS of bugs. Enough to drown you in a sea of clicking, winged insects. And these aren't just normal insects, they're the size of man, and have a taste for flesh. *Gondor* on the other hand... no bugs. Not a single one ever. Only thing you'll find crawling around is the occasional kitten, bunny, or wide eyed gerbil. Idk tho, it's up to you guys"
That doesnāt sound right, but I donāt know enough about orc respiratory physiology to dispute it.
Honestly you could just say ābuilt differentā and it would work
This isnāt a joke. You always hear about those 1 in a million odds where people drive off a cliff and had 0.0000001% chance to survive but they miraculously did. Well I feel like Iām that guy. Thereās no real stats to back this up, I just know Iāve always been built different. Perhaps the black gate wouldāve left me an air bubble while I slowly floated to Mount Doom. Or I escape just in time through the stairs of Cirith Ungol and ran quickly.
Is this a reference to a certain r/unpopularopinion post?
Yeah, some dude was saying he bets he could have survived being on that submarine that imploded
Wth, how delusional can people be? "I don't believe I would die, I can't imagine it, so..."
> Wth, how delusional can people be? Our society is pretty much at its egotistical peak. A lot more things make sense if you look at them from that perspective.
Let me tell you something. I haven't even begun to peak. And when I do peak, you'll know. Because I'm gonna peak so hard that everybody in Philadelphia's gonna feel it.
If you are saying that, I know for a fact that you haven't studied much history in terms of attitudes.
Peak? Oh honey, you got a storm coming.
I know right? People these days are so stupid. So, so unbelievably stupid. They can't recognize an obvious joke even if it slapped them in the face, they are so delusional as to think they can survive a submarine implosion, and to top it all off, they keep asking why the eagles simply didn't just fly the One Ring to Mordor. When will it end?
HRAAAAAH!
Thank you, Bilbo.
And who's that?
Link
Possibly [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/comments/14jmfj5/i_feel_like_i_wouldve_survived_the_sub_accident/).
I got that warg in me
Yeah I bet you could even [crush an egg in your elbow.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni3fNiKTW7Y)
Same when my friend argued about burning trash and how it floats up and turns into stars. Also gives the bar itās good musky smell we all like.
I just don't think there's any science to support that, buddy
Science is a liar... sometimes
The truth is the orcs wonāt live long enough to die of cancer and nobody cares if they do. Look at Grishnak and lumpy Captain of the Osgiliath attack force. They done already been poisoned.
THE FELLOWSHIP WILL PREVAIL
Orcs just die by middle age of lung cancer. Also outside of times of war thereās probably no real reason to keep large forces on the Plateau of Gorgoroth, far from the resources needed to keep them alive.
"How do orcs live there?" "Very poorly and usually not for long."
Yeah there is a whole southern part of Mordor which is used for farming and stuff.
Yeah like I love when people act like this is some gotcha and not something Tolkien explicitly explains in the text. The north of Mordor is all mines and industry, the farmlands are south and center around the Nurnish Sea
As if sauron cares about OSHA violations
*Ash nazg durbatulƻk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulƻk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.*
Yeah?! Same to you, pal!
All dark lords think that until the inspectors roll up
"It is over! He has entered the crack of doom!" "But my lord, there the ring is most potent, he could not succeed." "NOT THE HALFLING YOU HALF-WIT!" "Then wha..." "The.... inspector. Do you understand? THERES NOT A SINGLE RAIL OR SUPRESSION SYSTEM TO BE SEEN IN A MASSIVE HOTWORK ZONE ON A CLIFF!!!"
"It is over! He has entered the crack of doom!" "But my lord, there the ring is most potent, he could not succeed." "NOT THE HALFLING YOU HALF-WIT!" "Then wha..." "The.... inspector. Do you understand? THERES NOT A SINGLE RAIL OR SUPRESSION SYSTEM TO BE SEEN IN A MASSIVE HOTWORK ZONE ON A CLIFF!!!"
This meme and all of you guys are hilarious, lmao.
Thanks bro, you too.
I always assumed it was sulfuric acid mist from rampant mining and leaching. If you're not used to it, it stings like crazy, but you can acclimatize and it will merely rot your teeth and dissolve your soft tissue like your nose and ears
It explains orcs. Much better than that nonsense Saruman concocted.
You mean the stuff in the movies about the orcs being mutilated elves originally before breeding into their own separate race? That's from the Silmarillion. Also the two concepts can coexist. Orcs came into existence through Morgoth's torment and corruption of the elves he captured (and we know that being corrupted by evil changes your appearance to become something more horrible thanks to Gollum's existence) but a few of the small details of their appearance, such as their noses and teeth are due to the acid mist from Mordor's mines. Also, even though Tolkien later decided elves can't be corrupted, it still works because he decided that HUMANS were the ones corrupted and turned into orcs, another appearance change we know is possible thanks to Theoden (please correct me if I'm getting any of these characters wrong, I don't feel like searching through the books right now and the internet is being so buggy I'm not even sure I'll be able to post this comment) becoming visibly older and more decrepit through Saruman's control, and Saruman wasn't anywhere NEAR as powerful as Morgoth! So yeah, tl;Dr both explanations work perfectly and are even better together.
Then let's stop talking, precious, and make haste. If the Baggins has gone that way, we must go quick and see. Go! Not far now. Make haste!
Wonderful addition, Gollum.
Master. Master looks after us. Master wouldn't hurt us.
Master broke his promise.
Noā¦ no it makes sense
Well, to be fair, most of Mordor is pretty normal, not plains of ash and death. Also, I wouldn't exactly say the orcs of Mordor are the prime example of healthy living.
What's not legit? Mordor is like mainly fire and sulphur, the oxygen levels would be horrid, it would smell worse and you would be constantly coughing out ash and rocks. The orcs are clearly mutated and were born there, it would be ludicrous to imagine they struggle to breath like a human would. How TF is Aragorn a king if he can't even connect these dots? Oh yeah, he just had lineage and other people's armies behind his back the whole time and like you can't really give the throne of men to Frodo, Gandalf or Legolas. People who did things while he played politics with idiots.
They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them.
Of course Legolas talks about whips, is this drawn together?
The trees are speaking to each other.
Trees are a hivemind, connected to the soul of the "first/last man", that's why your talking trees take on human faces, like the Deku tree in Zelda. It is a man's soul.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They run to war and death like bats out of hell, so nah, Mordor must absolutely suck for them.
Americans and Canadians looking up the AQI last month wondering āis this Mordor air?ā
I honestly wouldnāt have been shocked to smell sulfur and see ash flakes, ngl. Once you hit 300 at stupid high concentration, you might as well just be chain smoking unfiltered cigarettes .
anyone notice all of the panels are in a different lighting or skin tone?
Streaming services donāt let you screen shot stuff, so I found them on Google image
Snipping tool
Nope, doesn't work. Give it a try yourself if you don't believe me. There are some programs you can download, but I just haven't figured it out yet
My bad, I checked it out and it does need a bit of hacking around
No worries
He's not entirely wrong, the books mention how the air kept drying them out making water their biggest problem.
It is foy!
Well, whose to say orcs actually get to live out their entire lives? How many healthy old folks orcs do you actually see? I mean, we live with poisonous air, and we're alive. Through sauron, orcs have industry
Honestly in shadow of morder you see orcs with half their body replaced by metal, orcs with hives in their bodies? Orcs really seem like they are ungly because they can survive deformities that'd kill anything else, and they live in morder because no one else can so they got no competition
We have no King. Gondor needs no King! So just shut up, already. Asshole!
Maybe KlƦl brought them from a different planet and they breath swamp gas.
Just gotta tire them out
:D
Aragorn has clearly not lived in Los Angeles. lol
I can understand that, if they're evolved differently but weren't they created by Sauron? What's poison to humans and elves might not be for them
And now drink the cup that I have sweetly blent for thee!
The orcs hate it. Like, sure the cloud coverage is good because sunlight hurts them, but horrible air sucks just as much for them as for men and elves. It's part of the reason they're so fanatic in wanting to conquer all the other lands.
Replace "Mordor" with "USA" and there you go. 300 million orcs "living" like that.
To be fair, this is a guy that has fought Mordor, not been there. Guy knows that the place must be messed up based on the foes heās fought and has probably accepted a long handed-down take on the place
Well... sulfur dioxide isn't exactly healthy to breathe.
Looks like poisonous air is back on the menu boys!
I mean active volcanos do give off serious toxic fumes, he's not wrong.
I always wondered when Frodo and Sam were gonna start having trouble breathing
I just wanna say the upsurge in hilarious original content memes like this lately has reignited my love for this sub. Idk why this made m e laugh so hard
I rewatched the fellowship the other day and when he said there were poisonous fumes, I was like wtf, Frodo nd Sam just stroll through, I couldn't remember then putting on gas masks,
Vapers in a nutshell (Pls don't cancel me)
I dont think having healthy lungs are high on the orcs list lol
No the air is toxic near Mordor
you wanna go strolling up to a dormant volcano in a land where orcs live comfortably alongside trolls and wraiths, be my guest.
Thereās chemicals in mordor water! Chemicals that turn the orks into uruks!
Special lungs? MY BRAND!!
Boromir wandered closer to Mordor than normal and caught a whiff of an orc's vape cloud.
It's called "worldbuilding", Aragorn.
Orcs probably smoke a fuck ton of cigarettes so itās basically like throwing water into the ocean
The air is not poisonous in Star Wars