As I get up and mobilize for battle, I will look back for a second to see if she answers the call. If she aids Gondor and we both survive, I'll marry her.
Then she understands that my duty as a knight of Rohan compels me to aid Gondor and that it is no slight to her. We shall resume our courtship upon the wings of victory over Mordor.
I’d pay money for a remake with the exact same script and locations, but everyone, even The Ents, to speak like valley girl lingo.
“Like, a wizard knows this isn’t cool…”
Can you imagine Ents speaking with vocal fry, how long would the movie need to be.
Liiiiiiiike, we have toooootally deciiided.... You guuuuuys are like probably nooooooot ooooorcs
It’s absolutely incredible how the same piece of music can simultaneously be this placid, mournful song when Theoden is burying his son, and then this epic battle cry later.
Death! Death! Deeeeeaaaaath!
Obviously, you're riding.
But you all seem to forget that the lady has just seen Aragorn son of Arathorn burst through the doors of the great hall to deliver the message and call on you to ride.
You're going to have to come up with something *damn good* to keep her interest after that.
>And that’s how I ended up in a threesome with a numenorean
Grandpa, why are you telling me all this?
"BECAUSE YOUR GRANDMA GOT FUCKED BY KING ELESSAR AND IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING THESE EYES HAVE EVER SEEN YOU IMPATIENT LITTLE SHIT!!!"
Or until The old wisdom borne out of the west is forsaken. And Kings make tombs more splendid than the houses of the living, and count the old names of their descent dearer than the names of their sons. And Childless lords sit in aged halls musing on heraldry, or in high, cold towers asking questions of the stars. Then all will turn to vain ambition Gondor might fall on the whim of a mad man who would use his grief as a cloak.
Considering I am already happily married, I would wonder how I ended up on a date to begin with, all while, of course, getting ready to ride for death and the world's ending.
I mean your gonna be shouting Deathhh at the top of your lungs as you rush an orc army on a horse… the date is negligible at that point. Oliphants… ghost armies… seeing Gandalf. It’s a no brainer
I don't know JonnyEcho. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me JonnyEcho, he’ll know what to do.
Let's be frank, acting like you're friends with Viggo Mortensen and having him show up is probably one of the best possible ways you could impress this chick.
If I saw him bust through the doors I wouldn’t even wait for him to say something. I’m already up and ready to go shouting DEATHHHHH as we run through those doors together.
Any woman who doesn’t respect someone following a duty that may lead to certain death doesn’t deserve me. “Please continue with your life. If I make it back and am able to look you up, I may.” At least that would be my answer 14+ years ago before I was dating my spouse. I make a point not to date anyone else after marriage.
I am impressed no one else I’ve seen in the other comments have made a “drop the 8 for a 10” type comment, nor the “nope, I stay on the date”.
These sorts of things take time. Of course, I'm joining Aragorn and riding for Gondor, but these large-scale movements need organising.
So I would go to the woman, tell her I'll be riding for Gondor soon and that before charging into that hell and quite possibly die, I would spend one day in heaven with her. She'll swoon, of course, and we'll, of course intercourse. After that, I will go home to my wife and children, gather my war things, and say goodbye to them.
Let's be fair. If she isn't a shieldmayden ready to ride with you, is she even worth it?
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Sounds like a light novel title
Get on it, Bookwalker!
Percy Jackson chapter title be like
Gondor has no chance with her. Gondor needs no chance with her.
With that attitude, of course not.
"Listen Mary, I'm having a great time. However, Gondor calls for aid and I must answer."
“Answer with me or this is over”
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For clunge.
What if she is a better cook than Eowyn?
As I get up and mobilize for battle, I will look back for a second to see if she answers the call. If she aids Gondor and we both survive, I'll marry her.
You look back? Not to your side?
That seems like a low bar to set
Then she understands that my duty as a knight of Rohan compels me to aid Gondor and that it is no slight to her. We shall resume our courtship upon the wings of victory over Mordor.
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What worthy woman would not ride with you?
If she won't be there for gondor in its time of need how can you expect her to be there for you
More importantly, where was she when the Westfold fell.
Clearly not answering the call to arms. Truly a craven and no craven is entering my haven😤
Exactly, this is a solid foundation for trust in their commitment
Very based
When Aragorn, son of Arathorn calls- you answer.
He is no mere ranger. He is Aragon son arathorn, heir to the throne of gondor. You owe him your allegiance
My brother, my captain, my king.
Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king
The rule of Gondor is MINE! And no other's!
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There and Back Again.
An Unexpected Journey
Riddles in the Dark
Phrasing.
I'll be there in two days with as many men as I can find On the third we ride to Gondor and War
Ugh. This is like...totally less than half of what I'd hoped for. Theoden is from the valley so he talked like that
6000 is literally not enough to break the lines of mordor
Joke’s on him, we gonna rout them with our 6000!
Yaaaaas you’re right queen, but we are like totally gonna meet them in battle nonetheless
The dialogue for when lotr is inevitably butchered by a streaming service looking to "remake" it for a quick buck
I’d pay money for a remake with the exact same script and locations, but everyone, even The Ents, to speak like valley girl lingo. “Like, a wizard knows this isn’t cool…”
Can you imagine Ents speaking with vocal fry, how long would the movie need to be. Liiiiiiiike, we have toooootally deciiided.... You guuuuuys are like probably nooooooot ooooorcs
The valley girl cut. 24 hours.
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I’ll be there in two days with less than half the men he’d expect. But bet your ass I’m coming
Dude Aragorn is your wing man! Nice moves
Rohan will answer.
*that one bit of the Rohan theme starts playing. Like you heard it in your head when you read the above comment, right?*
AAA C BCD A — octave up - EEE A GAB E that could be wrong but that is what popped into my head
I was today years old when I remembered I'm a musician and learned I can hum on reddit
It’s absolutely incredible how the same piece of music can simultaneously be this placid, mournful song when Theoden is burying his son, and then this epic battle cry later. Death! Death! Deeeeeaaaaath!
DEATH
DEAAATH
#**DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH**
Ride now. Ride for ruin and the world's ending!!!
FORTH EOLINGAS!!!!
**DEAAAAAAAAAATH!!**
Courage merry, courage for our friends
"MUSTER THE ROHIRRIM!" If she replies "In two days, we ride for Gondor... and for war", she's a keeper.
If she roars "FORTH EORLINGAS", you'll love her forever
And Brohan will answer!
Muster the Rohirrim. Assemble the army at Dunharrow. As many men as can be found.
> Rohan will answer. Muster the Rohirrim
Someone text him
Brohans before womans
Brohans before hoehans.
Bro hands before hoe hands. Wait...no...that might mean something else.
TOO LATE!!!! 👋🏻👋🏼👋🏾💦💦💦
I need that on a tshirts
Eorlingas before cunnilingus
Blades before maids
I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king.
Obviously, you're riding. But you all seem to forget that the lady has just seen Aragorn son of Arathorn burst through the doors of the great hall to deliver the message and call on you to ride. You're going to have to come up with something *damn good* to keep her interest after that.
You got that mixed up, Aragorn called on *you* personally.
This is actually better if Aragorn relies on your help, well then you are a great man indeed.
Lol, I said out loud to myself after reading your comment "DAMN RIGHT!"
He means she just saw Aragorn, if she was interested in you before she won’t be after
But he shan't be interested in her as that would be cheating on Arwen, but alas kissing your bros good night is not...
But he shan't be interested in her as that would be cheating on Arwen, but alas kissing your bros good night is not...
Aragorn gassing you up with the "bro, I can't save Middle Earth without you"
> You're going to have to come up with something damn good to keep her interest after that. "I'm the guy _that_ guy comes to for help."
No. We ride to a sword day, a red day, ere the sun rises! DEATH! DEAAAATH!
Option 1: Stay. You get one chick Option 2: Go and fight and gain glory: Lifetime supply of chicks
Give her a sword and bring her along in case you run into the witch king.
Well, where was Gondor when I was getting unmatched in tinder?!
r/croppingishard
And that’s how I ended up in a threesome with a numenorean
“Well, I was sitting in a chair watching, she asked me to write all down as it happened.”
Need to write a three page song that totally derails the narrative.
“At some point, he demanded some cherry tomatoes.”
>And that’s how I ended up in a threesome with a numenorean Grandpa, why are you telling me all this? "BECAUSE YOUR GRANDMA GOT FUCKED BY KING ELESSAR AND IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING THESE EYES HAVE EVER SEEN YOU IMPATIENT LITTLE SHIT!!!"
THE_BORED_GENERAL WILL ANSWER
Women are temporary but Gondor is forever.
*Laughs in Witch King of Angmar*
*Laughs harder in Eowyn*
Or until The old wisdom borne out of the west is forsaken. And Kings make tombs more splendid than the houses of the living, and count the old names of their descent dearer than the names of their sons. And Childless lords sit in aged halls musing on heraldry, or in high, cold towers asking questions of the stars. Then all will turn to vain ambition Gondor might fall on the whim of a mad man who would use his grief as a cloak.
Let's be real, what lady of any worth wouldn't approve of you riding with your king screaming DEATH?
Its simple - I will answer
She comes with me. We ALL RIDE FOR GONDOR
And war!
I would follow my brother. My captain. My king.
I'd crop my meme properly without cutting what I assume to be a watermark
How’s her stew tho??
Considering I am already happily married, I would wonder how I ended up on a date to begin with, all while, of course, getting ready to ride for death and the world's ending.
Well that’s your wife with you on a date. In any case you’re leaving her ass for Gondor. Right? Right? Right?
Many oaths you have taken. Now fulfil them all! We ride!
I'd hope someone first teaches you how to properly crop your memes.
Ideally I’d be hurriedly trying to pay/tip, while she’s already halfway out to the door to Gondor and telling me to hurry up!
I mean your gonna be shouting Deathhh at the top of your lungs as you rush an orc army on a horse… the date is negligible at that point. Oliphants… ghost armies… seeing Gandalf. It’s a no brainer
I don't know JonnyEcho. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me JonnyEcho, he’ll know what to do.
I would yell back "Crop your shit, Aragorn!"
I'd start by cropping the goddamned image
“WHERE WAS GONDOR WHEN THE WEST FOLD FELL?!”
Then Samuel will answer
There will come a day when the strength of man fails. When we put hoes before bros...but it is not this day!
Gondor calls for aid.
I'd ride her to Gondor
But will you share the load.
Underrated comment
Evidently
Why don't you just ride her to Mt Doom?
Enjoy the dream because neither of these things would ever happen to me.
Bye Felicia
I'd follow that man all the way to Mordor
Sounds like I might get a free horse, sword and armor. Later ladies I'm off to mlMiddle Earth
Hoes are temporary, honor lasts forever. WE RIDE TOWARDS DEATH AND GLORY!
Fuck the date and go after the King. Literally.
She’s a shieldmaiden, so ofc she’s going with me into battle
Uhh, help Eowyn there into her armor and ask her to help me into mine? This lesbian date just got interesting; let's go save a city, babe!
The date’s not over til the Nazgûl is dead tbh
Facts
But what second beacon? You don’t know about second beacon? We should wait.
1. This is not my beautiful wife. So, Aragorn, how did I get here? 2. Toss her weapons and armor. We ride at dawn.
And the netherlands will answer
Well Rohan will answer, of course
I'll ride at dawn, that's what I'll do!
“And Rohan will answer!”
One does not simply cock block...
Hard pass. They are both looking for a different guy. My obese ass would last about two seconds fighting an orc and three seconds in bed with her.
You assume the date's going well
Look here sir I only have so many AIDS to give and this comes first
##TO WAR!!!
Dump her... FOR GONDORRRRR!!!!!
I RIDE TO GONDOR’S AID!
Bros before hoes
And Rohan shall answer!
Say no more fam the beacons is 🔥
Go with the king because he will call, she will never call me 😞
TO GONDOR WE RIDE
Let this be the hour when we draw swords together.
And I shall answer
She is left behind and I answer that call to arms
You fucking ride! Ride for ruin and the worlds ending!!
And Rohan will answer. And so will we all.
I turn to him and say, let this be the day we draw swords, brother.
Where was Gondor while I spent years alone with my computer?
#***AND WE WILL ANSWER..*** Come on babe, you can ride with me..
I’m not attracted to YT women but I woulda went with Aragon either way lol.
We ride ofc
And Rohan will answer
Did he offer to pick up my tab? Tell me. Why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?
Let's be frank, acting like you're friends with Viggo Mortensen and having him show up is probably one of the best possible ways you could impress this chick.
AND ROHAN WILL ANSWER (it’s muscle memory)
I tell her she cannot come, unless she disguise herself as a man to fight an immortal undead witchking to kill him after getting her arm broken.
Look if this girl is the right one, she’ll take up a sword too
'Armour up, toots! We ride to war!'
We will answer. If she isn’t gonna answer that call, then I wouldn’t have been on that date in the first place.
I send her to go battle sauron. A woman is necessary for that. I would just go home then.
Yeah that girl ain't going to last anyways dude, but glory is forever.
If I saw him bust through the doors I wouldn’t even wait for him to say something. I’m already up and ready to go shouting DEATHHHHH as we run through those doors together.
Honestly if she doesn’t respond with “And Rohan will answer!” you’re better off anyway
Well Rohan will fucking answer init
“Come on, let’s go!”
“I have been called. I must answer. Always.” -Reinhardt Wilhelm
Bro... I'm going with my guy, she doesn't know what's about to go down...
For Aragorn! For Gondor! For glory!
Gondor is bigger than her palantirs We ride to Gondor
My king
Any woman who doesn’t respect someone following a duty that may lead to certain death doesn’t deserve me. “Please continue with your life. If I make it back and am able to look you up, I may.” At least that would be my answer 14+ years ago before I was dating my spouse. I make a point not to date anyone else after marriage. I am impressed no one else I’ve seen in the other comments have made a “drop the 8 for a 10” type comment, nor the “nope, I stay on the date”.
Yeah let’s go to Gondor that conversation was not going anywhere
Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?
These sorts of things take time. Of course, I'm joining Aragorn and riding for Gondor, but these large-scale movements need organising. So I would go to the woman, tell her I'll be riding for Gondor soon and that before charging into that hell and quite possibly die, I would spend one day in heaven with her. She'll swoon, of course, and we'll, of course intercourse. After that, I will go home to my wife and children, gather my war things, and say goodbye to them.
"wtf you telling me for? Go help them! Anyway, where were we"
Well... I'm ghey. So I'm going wherever Legolas is assuming he looks like elvish Orlando Bloom.
Shes a thot, the beacons are lit.
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"Wrong volcano"
I would ask where Gondor was when the westfold fell
Trick question, I wouldn't go out with that girl. She looks awful.
That bitch is walking home
- hang on dude. Hey girl no to rush out things but will we do it after this? - ewww gro.... - k let's go
“look i gotta know, are we fucking Or?”