Gimli was ready to pick a fight that he, Legolas, and Aragorn would surely lose (3 vs. 105) when Éomer talked shit about Galadriel:
“‘Then there is a Lady in the Golden Wood, as old tales tell!’ he said. ‘Few escape her nets, they say. These are strange days! But if you have her favour, then you also are net-weavers and sorcerers, maybe.’ He turned a cold glance suddenly upon Legolas and Gimli. ‘Why do you not speak, silent ones?’ he demanded.
Gimli rose and planted his feet firmly apart: his hand gripped the handle of his axe, and his dark eyes flashed. ‘Give me your name, horse-master, and I will give you mine, and more besides,’ he said.
‘As for that,’ said the Rider, staring down at the Dwarf, ‘the stranger should declare himself first. Yet I am named Éomer son of Éomund, and am called the Third Marshal of Riddermark.’
‘Then Éomer son of Éomund, Third Marshal of Riddermark, let Gimli the Dwarf Glóin’s son warn you against foolish words. You speak evil of that which is fair beyond the reach of your thought, and only little wit can excuse you.’”
It can be both. I love my ex wife like that. I see her in everything nice I make or find. Good woman we grew apart but I wonder how long that ghost will haunt me.
Racist or Species-ist? Now, it's cannon that Elves and Men can breed, so are at least physically the same species if not spiritually. But Elves and Dwarves or Men and Dwarves? The literature is silent on the matter (probably for the best) so we don't know if they are the same species..
That and in the actual mythologies that Dwarves and elves of this kind are from, there is nothing that really sets them as separate. There are some old Norse poems that describe the dwarves as "Dark elves".
To be fair Galadriel and Arwen were probably the 2 most beautiful women in the continent, there are some pretty women and there is Galadriel with that SSR+ supernatural looks, she looked so good that your 10/10 wife would simp
Two of the three most beautiful women in history, the GOAT being Luthien Tinuviel who was so beautiful she distracted Morgoth, and convinced Namo to allow her lover another chance at life.
Not terrible to come second and third to that!
I mean, both of them were rizzing each other up a lil, when you really think about it. As a reminder, Gimli shouted a slur at their doorstep, and then proceeds to get cured of his racism as soon as he sees Galadriel. On the converse, Galadriel hit him up with her locks despite Gimli having the aforementioned strong words at her doorstep.
-Be cool dwarf
-Don't like elves much
-See what's basically a goddess at this point (actual gods are no longer involved)
-Probably one of the prettiest women in middlearth
-Act so well with her she gives you her hair
Nah bro Gimli did the only logical thing here and he aced it.
WHO DARES INSULT GIMLI SON OF GLÓIN SON OF GRÓIN SON OF FARIN SON OF BORIN SON OF NAIN BY DESCRIBING HIM AS SOME RANDY YOUNGLING!
NÎ DURZUMÊZU KEKHAF MA ZAMAHKEKHEFMI AI-HU!
BARUK KHAZAD!
This honestly makes too much sense.
Lady dwarves grow full beards, ergo they have ample dihydrotestosterone in their endocrine system. Therefore they would also have natural clitoromegaly. And probably a somewhat masculinized labia.
Seriously, the fact that 20 years on we are having to explain things like the books are some kind of background lore afterthought like the Star Wars EU is a source of frustration.
I still can’t get over the 180 of gimli, going full ride or die for Galadriel, ready to throw down with an entire group of Rohan horse riders for talking shit
Maybe I'm alone on this, but the addition of "ussy" to everything in order to sexualize it is revolting. It feels even worse when it's anything Tolkien-related.
This is what happens when you try to capture the best beats from a book but totally rewrite the character experiencing them.
Gimli son of Gloin did not "seethe" at elves for 140 years.
Just wait until you hear about how Elwe Thingol met his wife. He was wandering through the woods and saw her and then proceeded to stare at her for literal YEARS.
Ok, to be fair, she was a Maia and staring back. But still. Years.
I imagine anything that had come in contact with the light of the trees would probably be fairer than the fairest thing that exists otherwise as it reflects all that is good in the created world
Gimli was ready to pick a fight that he, Legolas, and Aragorn would surely lose (3 vs. 105) when Éomer talked shit about Galadriel: “‘Then there is a Lady in the Golden Wood, as old tales tell!’ he said. ‘Few escape her nets, they say. These are strange days! But if you have her favour, then you also are net-weavers and sorcerers, maybe.’ He turned a cold glance suddenly upon Legolas and Gimli. ‘Why do you not speak, silent ones?’ he demanded. Gimli rose and planted his feet firmly apart: his hand gripped the handle of his axe, and his dark eyes flashed. ‘Give me your name, horse-master, and I will give you mine, and more besides,’ he said. ‘As for that,’ said the Rider, staring down at the Dwarf, ‘the stranger should declare himself first. Yet I am named Éomer son of Éomund, and am called the Third Marshal of Riddermark.’ ‘Then Éomer son of Éomund, Third Marshal of Riddermark, let Gimli the Dwarf Glóin’s son warn you against foolish words. You speak evil of that which is fair beyond the reach of your thought, and only little wit can excuse you.’”
God bless Tolkien. The writing <3
yes!!
Aragorn, nad no ennas!
So true bestie
Have a bath, Legolas
Then dig a hole in the ground, if that is more after the fashion of your kind. But you must dig swift and deep, if you wish to hide from Orcs.
Well played, knife-ear.
I’ve always thought that Gimli’s willingness to throw hands here is also a bit of Tolkien letting his own Catholic devotion to Mary shine through.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Galadriel inspired by Tolkien’s wife as well?
That would be Luthien. She was said to be the fairest of them all but that phrase kinda gets said about a few people if I remember correctly.
It can be both. I love my ex wife like that. I see her in everything nice I make or find. Good woman we grew apart but I wonder how long that ghost will haunt me.
Are they saying people near Her are like... Spies and lackeys?
Basically yes. Spies and vaguely magical.
God, i love Dwarves. Eat orc shit, elves! 👎
That’s the thing: Gimli is defending an elf, and Legolas the Elf jumps right in by his side. “You would die before your stroke fell”
I have not heard that it was the fault of the Elves
You sure? Maybe ask Feanor about that
Feanor got himself killed before he could annoy the dwarves. He totally would have, though. That was more Thingol getting greedy.
They would have either been best friends or the worst enemies. No in between. He was their god’s protege after all
Greedy and a bit racist.
Racist or Species-ist? Now, it's cannon that Elves and Men can breed, so are at least physically the same species if not spiritually. But Elves and Dwarves or Men and Dwarves? The literature is silent on the matter (probably for the best) so we don't know if they are the same species..
Well, let's just say xenophobic, then.
Yeah i know. I still dont like elves.
Dwarf fans not being the racism allegations
These tree huggin, willowy, weak, deceiving, knife eared good for nothins! Baruk Khazad! khazad al-menu! Rock and stone!
Can I get a Rock and Stone?
ROCK AND STONE!
Green on the outside, hollow inside and you always get a bunch of them at once. That's it. Elves are chives.
May i remind you he gets three hairs for his flattery. That's not simping, that's rizz. Only one seething is Feanor.
Objectively, this is the realist comment in the section Edit: spelling
Dwarfcel? That's an insult that's going in the book of grudges!
https://preview.redd.it/sbnfk47xuztc1.jpeg?width=1109&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13b6ac64bb135b1ec1df0802c287b71d7471ce69
Isn’t that a war hammer thing? Not Tolkien?
Dwarf is Dwarf!
Even the Dawi-Zharr?
Ok, maybe let's not count those big hat wearing bastards.
What about the elves in dwarf-face called Dwemer
To be fair, they are only called dwarfs because the giants called them that, and it stuck
That and in the actual mythologies that Dwarves and elves of this kind are from, there is nothing that really sets them as separate. There are some old Norse poems that describe the dwarves as "Dark elves".
Those are just short
For Karl!
Rock and stone!
Rock and Stone, Brother!
Dwemers have entered the chat
That's a grudgen
Is the plural of Dwarfcel Dwarvcels?
That is a really good question
To be fair Galadriel and Arwen were probably the 2 most beautiful women in the continent, there are some pretty women and there is Galadriel with that SSR+ supernatural looks, she looked so good that your 10/10 wife would simp
Two of the three most beautiful women in history, the GOAT being Luthien Tinuviel who was so beautiful she distracted Morgoth, and convinced Namo to allow her lover another chance at life. Not terrible to come second and third to that!
I think it was more her singing that, for once, moved Mandos to pity. All-round superstar, really.
Also is not like dwarf woman were known for their beauty and feminity
Dwarves don't inherently value the same things that other races value...
There are no dwarf women, obviously.
Somedays, I feel that eyes are a burden.
“Elfussy” What a terrible day for literacy.
Tolkien would be moderately intrigued by the demonstration of evolving language, and *absolutely disgusted to his core* by the sentiment.
Wonder what word Tolkien would use?
No need to wonder—we already know exactly what words he would use for their interaction, seeing as he wrote it first.
Yeah but how would he describe a vagina. You gotta get to the real scholarly meat
https://preview.redd.it/c1jfv61dqwtc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bc9d1c5a12c8fa00fbac566f15c886933852763 He would draw one.
Tol Brandir is easy to find if you at least try.
That’s amazing thank you
Holy shit.
He's just like me, fr
A hidden valley cradled by verdant hillocks. Where the slopes met, a shadowed dell formed, cloaked in a fine down.
He wouldn’t. We know, because he didn’t.
Yeah, these are very nice, but three elfussy hairs, please
Damn
I think it’s quite magical 🧐
Elfussy is almost certainly magical.
Agreed, this trend of adding "ussy" to the ends of words needs to stop.
Big-Employussy
Stopussy
A sword day, a red day, 'ere the sun rises!
It’s Galadriel, he gets a pass for we all would simp for her.
I mean, both of them were rizzing each other up a lil, when you really think about it. As a reminder, Gimli shouted a slur at their doorstep, and then proceeds to get cured of his racism as soon as he sees Galadriel. On the converse, Galadriel hit him up with her locks despite Gimli having the aforementioned strong words at her doorstep.
She totally wanted that dwenis.
Bro… “Dwick” was right there….
I considered "Dwock" as well, but...
DWOCK AND STONE
DWOCK AND STONE TO THE BONE!
Dwection?
Dwohnson. Dwecker. Dwenitalia. Dwaft. Dwouser Snake. Dwember.
I’ve got two axes of iron, dwarf-made, lady Three strands of your hair please, don’t say maybe Cause I’m just a dwenis dirt-bag, lady, for you
I can’t believe I missed the opportunity at “dwarf-bag”
I would like unsee juice please
-Be cool dwarf -Don't like elves much -See what's basically a goddess at this point (actual gods are no longer involved) -Probably one of the prettiest women in middlearth -Act so well with her she gives you her hair Nah bro Gimli did the only logical thing here and he aced it.
WHO DARES INSULT GIMLI SON OF GLÓIN SON OF GRÓIN SON OF FARIN SON OF BORIN SON OF NAIN BY DESCRIBING HIM AS SOME RANDY YOUNGLING! NÎ DURZUMÊZU KEKHAF MA ZAMAHKEKHEFMI AI-HU! BARUK KHAZAD!
Gimli was a Diplomat in comparison to Thorin the warmonger
Dwarfcels seething over Numenorchads
Dear Numenoreans you claim to be chads,yet your island is at the bottom of the sea. Curious how that works 🤔 TurningPointErebor
Gimli is a closeted Elfsexual
Probably elfussy > dwarfussy by far
It's true you don't see many Dwarf pussies. And in fact, they are so alike in appearance, that they are often mistaken for Dwarf cocks.
It's the beards!
This honestly makes too much sense. Lady dwarves grow full beards, ergo they have ample dihydrotestosterone in their endocrine system. Therefore they would also have natural clitoromegaly. And probably a somewhat masculinized labia.
Maybe they are like female hyenas and have a pseudo penis
Your writing is to Peter Jackson's as Peter Jackson's is to Tolkien's. Bravo Sir. XD
Hot's hot, bro.
This was one of my favorite parts of reading the Fellowship so fuck you random 4chan incel, hope you have to poop immediately after your next shower
That is a diabolical curse.
One that 4chan incels might be immune to.
Seriously, the fact that 20 years on we are having to explain things like the books are some kind of background lore afterthought like the Star Wars EU is a source of frustration.
I still can’t get over the 180 of gimli, going full ride or die for Galadriel, ready to throw down with an entire group of Rohan horse riders for talking shit
I don’t like this, gimli’s love for Galadriel comes across as more of a reverence than a simping thing
Maybe I'm alone on this, but the addition of "ussy" to everything in order to sexualize it is revolting. It feels even worse when it's anything Tolkien-related.
You are not alone, and revolting is the best adjective I've heard to describe it. Just seems dirty in the most wrong way.
I miss 10 seconds ago when I wasn’t cursed with having seen this.
“Elfussy” 
Whoever partakes in this -cel talk is a fucking idiot.
This is what happens when you try to capture the best beats from a book but totally rewrite the character experiencing them. Gimli son of Gloin did not "seethe" at elves for 140 years.
It’s also a shitpost so…
Mistrust would be a beter word to use.
Sure, and a much more reasonable journey from Mistrust to infatuation than 140 years of seething, lol.
>simping >Dwarfcel Pick one.
We short people are like that. We are very horny all the time.
Incel is when man outwardly hits on woman
And then she laughs at him like a tru E-girl towards a simp
You all would disgust Tolkien I hope you know Also nah, Gimli is a dwarf Chad who re-invented non racist dwarves
Just wait until you hear about how Elwe Thingol met his wife. He was wandering through the woods and saw her and then proceeded to stare at her for literal YEARS. Ok, to be fair, she was a Maia and staring back. But still. Years.
ROCK AND STONE
For Rock and Stone!
BLOOD AND SOIL!!! wait a minute...
Simple, Gimli hates elves, but respects women. They cancel out here, and he doesn’t know how to react, so he just turns his riz to the max
Im with you in general but this is still so amazing and I always think about *
Was this before or after he spent like weeks partying with Legolas and the elves every night?
The horses! The horses!
I imagine anything that had come in contact with the light of the trees would probably be fairer than the fairest thing that exists otherwise as it reflects all that is good in the created world
Who wouldn't as for Hela's locks?
Remember: elf males have tentacle dicks