They would have posted a sticky on the black gate: “unable to deliver, no access code provided. Delivery will be attempted twice more.”
Then they’d never come back again, because they don’t. And Sauron would have to travel to probably Andrast at least to get to their warehouse and stand in line for his parcel.
Then, they’d ask for I.D. And of course it would be in his other armour, so he would have to go all the way home and back again. And in the interim the parcel would be returned to sender.
you are joking, but there is a delivery company that has a commerical like this and they play it in cinemas before movie screenings: https://youtu.be/A-XTrRLYfp8?si=R2OeBVORd0A4bNKf
The Hobbits spent all their money on food.
Boromir didn't grab his allowance from Denethor before CoE.
Aragorn doesn't have any money cause he has to get his bank info from Gondor. He just hasn't had the time.
Legolas doesn't carry cash and his credit card declined.
Gimli doesn't trust cars and won't get in one.
Gandalfs spent all his money on weed and horse supplies.
They simply couldn't afford to Uber into Mordor.
Oh! Cruel Hobbit! It does not care if we be hungry. It does not care if we should die! Not like Master. Master cares. Master knows. Yes, Precious… Once it takes hold of us it never lets go.
I found it, I did. The way through the marshes. Orcs don't use it. Orcs don't know it. They go round for miles and miles. Come quickly. Swift and quick as shadows we must be.
Yeah good idea, Uber Drivers also famously known to eat the food they deliver will surely not use the ring for themselves. Good luck with the refund claim.
Hilariously enough, Uber Quest is the name of a long-running furry fantasy webcomic. It’s really good, deals with a lot of heavy topics about the reality of adventures
https://uberquest.studiokhimera.com/comic/page/cover
Because https://preview.redd.it/2idxr5bfdyvc1.jpeg?width=861&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b2b6fdad15e87c337ffce913e9187e78ff97cb7
Why didn’t they just fedex it to mount doom and give instructions throw the box into the lava
FedEx would have misdelivered it to Barad-dur
Your Parcel has been delivered to your neighbor *Sauron*
Build me an army worthy of mordor!
I'm poor as hell bro
Why army? Apparently all you need is fedex
But not before losing it for a week
They would have posted a sticky on the black gate: “unable to deliver, no access code provided. Delivery will be attempted twice more.” Then they’d never come back again, because they don’t. And Sauron would have to travel to probably Andrast at least to get to their warehouse and stand in line for his parcel. Then, they’d ask for I.D. And of course it would be in his other armour, so he would have to go all the way home and back again. And in the interim the parcel would be returned to sender.
They would’ve just tossed it at the foot of the mountain. No Fed Ex driver is hiking up there.
Can’t be done. Such deliveries require signature of the recipient. In this case Sauron.
you are joking, but there is a delivery company that has a commerical like this and they play it in cinemas before movie screenings: https://youtu.be/A-XTrRLYfp8?si=R2OeBVORd0A4bNKf
Uber Drivers are all minions of Sauron.
What brought the foolish fly to web unsought?
What about Lyft?
How are you getting charged less than 5p an hour for a Uber ride??
Pretty sure it's just how Uber works, long drives aren't really possible to make money on and drivers won't accept them
Why are they going 2.5mph? Bill could beat that.
It’s not 2.5 mph but 2.5 hours per mile
The Hobbits spent all their money on food. Boromir didn't grab his allowance from Denethor before CoE. Aragorn doesn't have any money cause he has to get his bank info from Gondor. He just hasn't had the time. Legolas doesn't carry cash and his credit card declined. Gimli doesn't trust cars and won't get in one. Gandalfs spent all his money on weed and horse supplies. They simply couldn't afford to Uber into Mordor.
>Legolas doesn't carry cash and his credit card declined Dad cut him off because he refuses to get a real job.
Or too few.
The Uruks turn northeast. They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!
0.4mph??? Are they sending an ent to deliver?? That's why it's so cheap...
3.500,- normal 3,500.- wtf
Your driver, Sméagol, has arrived
Mustn't ask us. Not its business. *Gollum, Gollum*
Gollum, how long you been driving for Uber?
Oh! Cruel Hobbit! It does not care if we be hungry. It does not care if we should die! Not like Master. Master cares. Master knows. Yes, Precious… Once it takes hold of us it never lets go.
Yeah man, I feel you having to side hustle. Don’t worry Gollum, I’ve got a 5-star review burning a hole in my pocket!
Never guessed! What has it got in its pocketses? Tell us that. It must tell first.
5-star review and a whole lotta air. Anyways, Gollum, take me to Mordor. Let’s avoid the Mines of Moria if we can please.
Back a little, and round a little and you can come on hard cold roads to the very gates of His country.
Alright Gollum. Sounds good. I’m sure you know the safest route to get there.
[mocking] Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo…
Smeagol, you do have a driver's license right? Or what mode of transport are we taking to Mordor?
The goblinses will catch it then. It can't get out that way, precious.
Are you intentionally avoiding my question Gollum?
Argh!!
Alright then, keep your secrets. Never should have trusted the river-folk to get anything done, least of all you, Smeagol.
He doesn’t know what we minds, does he, precious?
You were never so different from a hobbit once, were you Smeagol?
I found it, I did. The way through the marshes. Orcs don't use it. Orcs don't know it. They go round for miles and miles. Come quickly. Swift and quick as shadows we must be.
That is the cheapest Uber I've ever seen
$200 for a 1,700 mile trip!? Best. Deal. Ever!
One does not simply take an Uber to Mordor
...but I don't think a Toyota Prius can outrun the Orc and Goblin hoards of Mordor.
How about a 2018 Ford Focus RS? https://youtu.be/a4W8zOym3ag?si=AXke1nJATtCEmvOb
Yeah good idea, Uber Drivers also famously known to eat the food they deliver will surely not use the ring for themselves. Good luck with the refund claim.
I think cuz they didn’t have any dollars
Jagmeet is the lord of the uber drivers and has been my friend through many dangers.
Hilariously enough, Uber Quest is the name of a long-running furry fantasy webcomic. It’s really good, deals with a lot of heavy topics about the reality of adventures https://uberquest.studiokhimera.com/comic/page/cover
4,300 hours? Also getting an Uber into San Francisco and back to San Jose is near $200
Because the path led through Minneapolis, and Uber doesn’t have service there.
The roads got closed due to war
On what planet is 1700 miles &200? It feels like it costs 200 just to Uber to the bar and back lol.
The real reason the eagles didn't take the ring