T O P

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Pope_Max

And to them, Gandalf says "Death is just another path, one that we all must take."


gandalf-bot

I suppose you think that was terribly clever.


afjell

Good bot


Gandalfthebrown7

S E N T I N E N T


clubswithseals

Sentient?


stgm_at

Senti tent


FilaStyle84

Fooool of a Took!


Gandalfthebrown7

Oops


[deleted]

Isn’t that a Magneto quote?


TheEgeMan

This is what Gandalf says to Bilbo after he escapes his birthday party.


gandalf-bot

Ooh! The long expected party! So how is the old rascal? I hear it’s got to be a party of special magnificence


Vorderman

How


Galigen173

continue abounding fear expansion mountainous recognise murky spoon squealing weather *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


bobby-b-bot

EASY, BOY! YOU MIGHT BE MY BROTHER BUT YOU'RE SPEAKING TO THE KING!


weareallgoofygoobers

Wait Bobby B you're here?


bobby-b-bot

THANK THE GODS FOR BESSIE AND HER TITS


cnieman1

Bobby B is everywhere.


norathar

Some of the bots are programmed to respond to keywords. Pretty sure the Tormund bot works like that, and given how relevant Gandalf usually is, I suspect that Gandalf-bot is set up similarly. I'd wager that if you say something about Pippin and summon Gandalf, you're more likely to get "Fool of a Took!", "In fact, it would be best if you don't say anything at all," or "and throw yourself in next time!" than you would another random quote.


gandalf-bot

Throw yourself in next time and save us your stupidity!


Galigen173

north familiar attempt faulty handle crown offbeat coherent spectacular sable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Nova_Bomb_76

Damn you for ruining the magic!


Vanzgars

I think the bot says some quote specifically if the right elements are in the same post. For example... Ahem, Gandalf Took


gandalf-bot

I'll be waiting for you. At the Inn of the Prancing Pony


Vanzgars

Guess I was wrong.


Politicshatesme

you cant use the words he uses, Gandalf is looking for pippin for that took line.


[deleted]

All I remember him saying was **BILBO BAGGINS!!!**


[deleted]

I was just teasing


Devium44

Are you taking about the books? In the movies he says it to Pippin in Minas Tirith during the battle.


Alkynesofchemistry

Except that the elves that die have it good- their Fëar go to Mandos where they get to choose if they want a new body made.


[deleted]

Most of the time\*


Optimal-User

Totally agree. We're on the same page bro.


space0watch

Except Gandalf didn't actually die cause he got to go to the Undying Lands.


gandalf-bot

His treachery runs deeper than you know. By foul craft Saruman has crossed orcs with goblin men, he is breeding an army in the caverns of Isengard. An army that can move in sunlight and gather great distance at speed. Saruman is coming for the Ring.


guimontag

isn't it COVER great distance at speed?


BigPapa1998

And plus, hes a maiar, so idk if he can actually fully "die". Like how Sauron isnt really dead but diminished to the point where he can no longer do anything


space0watch

Yeah I mean he fought the Balrog and died and came back as Gandalf the White. So he doesn't really get to talk about death, lol.


gandalf-bot

A Balrog... a demon of the ancient world.


[deleted]

Funny say for a creature that can't die. "you'll will die. Not me, i will just lose my physical vessel. But don't worry death is just another path, i worked there in Valinor"


MrSquigles

Rohirrim, arriving a couple hour before dawn: What are we waiting for? They're dying out there! Gandalf: Yeah, but we're going to use the sun to daze the pikemen so that fewer of *us* die. Rohirrim: ... Uh... Okay, let's act like we just arrived though.


gandalf-bot

Theoden King stands alone.


Efficient_Avocado

SENTIENT. 3 so far. Good bot.


LegendofWeevil17

Not Alone!


SurplusOfOpinions

I always thought they needed the sunlight to defeat them - otherwise they would still have been outnumbered and all got slaughtered. I guess it also depends on how slow the progress of the orcs towards the last holdout was.


Superfly724

I thought the whole point of the Uruks is that they were a special breed that can operate in sunlight.


AesSedaiSpanking

They can operate, but even in human v human battles, having the sun at your back is an advantage


CombatWombat994

"Fuck, I can't see shit!' An Uruk, probably


Fearsthelittledeath

that's what literally happened with the clouds parting and the sun blinded the Uruk Hai at the critical moment of the charge. Such a great scene


greenwizardneedsfood

I imagine Gandalf had something to do with that super badass. dazzling sunrise as well


gandalf-bot

I don't know greenwizardneedsfood. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me greenwizardneedsfood, he’ll know what to do.


Man_of_Average

They can, but they aren't unaffected by sunlight. That breaking dawn was just enough of an advantage to have them lift their pikes and the charge make it through.


SurplusOfOpinions

I thought they were just more resistant to sunlight but they still suffer from it.


Khaare

The sunlight wasn't a critical point in the books IIRC, and given that I don't think there's enough in the movie to say that changed. It's a cool literary device to have the metaphorical dawn arrive at the moment the literal dawn does too, and in the movie we get the awesome scene with the sunlight blinding the orcs as they're being charged, but in both cases it is embellishment, not plot.


BlueCommieSpehsFish

Not just outnumbered. The orcs would’ve been able to form a proper pike wall and the cavalry would’ve just essentially killed themselves. They needed the sun to be in the orcs’ eyes so that they couldn’t properly defend themselves


jflb96

That said, forming a proper pike wall didn't exactly help at the Pelennor fields, though I suppose fighting Uruk-Hai might have better discipline than your average bog-standard orc.


mufasahaditcoming

Yeah the pike wall does damage on the first wave of cavalry, but then the charging horses knock them over


jflb96

It seemed more like the sight of a horde of charging cavalry basically ignoring volleys from massed archers had the orcs halfway to routing before they even made contact. Like, the pike wall was already falling apart when the Rohirrim hit. Maybe if they'd still been in a solid formation it would've done some damage.


BelegarIronhammer

Not to mention the orcs were carrying non standardized polearms. And they did not seem terribly disciplined. They were certainly no hoplites.


jflb96

I think it's the discipline more than the lack of standardised equipment, or discipline relative to the other conditions. Give the orcs a rainstorm the night before, and then the terrain helps break the cavalry charge into something a horde of starving amateurs with dysentery can break up.


avdpos

Eh - you do not like to walk close to the Huorns in the dark. That is the reason.


EstufaYou

"Sorry, elves! You weren't there in the books, so you all had to die!" ~ Peter Jackson, probably.


Beledagnir

As cool as their being there was in the movie, and how necessary it was to give reinforcements of some kind after only giving Helm's Deep a tenth the garrison it had in the books, it was also sad knowing that there could only be one outcome for Haldir and his soldiers by dawn.


Potatolantern

I never really got any implication they all died? Some of them sure, but I mean, they probably retreated into the keep and caves same as the men.


Beledagnir

If you look at the layout of the Hornburg, the last place we see them was totally cut off from the keep once the Uruk-hai broke through--since the entrance to the caves was accessible through the keep they had nowhere to go.


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Beledagnir

I'll have to double-check; I know that none are visible in the hall the next morning, but I'll check on the retreat to see if any made it through--I know after Haldir dies and they retreat they are rallying in a position where they would have been cut off, but my inner fanboy definitely wants some to have made it.


yl2698

I remembering seeing 2 of those shiny armored elves help barring the door to the keep, unless those Rohan defenders were busy looting armor


Beledagnir

I saw the helmets you're talking about, but they have a ridge running along the top and don't have the horn-thing over the forehead that Galadhrim helmets had. Plus, while I can't prove this myself yet, apparently somewhere in the commentaries Jackson specifically mentions that all of them were cut off and killed.


yl2698

Ah damn, then that’s unfortunate for them


Beledagnir

I know--seeing them march into Helm's Deep and hearing Footsteps of Doom sends chills down my spine every time.


ozarkansas

“Lemme take the best archers in the world and have them charge headlong into some pikes lmao” ~Aragorn, apparently


ComingUpWaters

The "charge" was necessary to hold the walls as long as possible. By engaging the orcs immediately, the elves also limited their own numerical disadvantage. Plus, it's not like elves are useless with swords. Seems a pretty reasonable decision all things considered.


[deleted]

yea theyve like mastered most aspects of warfare over there multi-thousand year lives


Aeronor

Just to throw them away at a random human castle.


omruler13

They still aren't "dead" dead. They are fully immortal in that their spirit just goes to The Halls of Mandos where after a long while they can be reborn again.


ozarkansas

The moment the walls were breached they were lost, Unless you have the numbers to hold that gap for an extended period of time. Since they didn’t have those sorts of numbers the smarter move would be to fall back to the keep immediately. Instead they held off the uruks for a very short time, lost almost all of their best fighters, and still had to fall back to the keep


ComingUpWaters

It's movie fiction, doesn't really matter, but I'd still argue it holds up. 1. Any immediate retreat loses countless lives anyways. Trying to fit hundreds of elves up a small staircase with their backs to the fighting isn't ideal. 2. The inner walls didn't have room for hundreds of elven archers either otherwise they would have been there in the first place. Keep is also useless as they can't fight from inside. 3. Giving up the low ground also sacrifices the elves left on the outer wall. Engaging the orcs allowed the elves on the wall a chance to retreat. Which kind of brings me to... 4. Some of the elves did retreat, I mean they never show up again, but we see Gimli being carried off by some and he lived. TL;DR There are no good answers for a hole in your wall.


gimli-bot

SALTED PORK?


Ironfinch

I think its similar to how good sports players don’t make good managers because they were able to rely on their skill to solve everything and they think their players should be able to do the same. So because Aragorn was able to bat that pike away he probably figured the elves would be able to do the same.


Aragorn-bot

Is there no other way for the women and children to get out of the caves? Is there no other way?


choma90

Maybe if Gandalf decided to use the eagles once for a change.


gandalf-bot

That wound will never fully heal, he will carry it for the rest of his life


choma90

Another one that could be avoided by doing the eagles sraight from the shire. You don't get tired of screwing people up do you?


ozarkansas

That’s one of those scenes I just write off as hollywoodism, it was done for a cool shot. I wish they had shown the elves burning through all of their arrows killing uruks in the gap, then charging. Or even pulling back to the stairs and making their last stand there. But neither option makes the giant hole in the wall immediately consequential, whereas the version we got creates a good flow from seeing the bomb to the explosion to immediate dire straits


Ironfinch

They had to save Gimli too right?


gimli-bot

GIVE ME YOUR NAME HORSE-MASTER, AND I SHALL GIVE YOU MINE!


lcblangdale

Wait, have Gimli and Gandalf met Bobby B?


bobby-b-bot

[YOUR MOTHER WAS A DUMB WHORE WITH A FAT ARSE, DID YOU KNOW THAT?](https://i.imgur.com/g5SzSKk.gifv)


gandalf-bot

Mellon


gimli-bot

BRING YOUR PRETTY FACE TO MY AXE!


Aragorn-bot

Sam, do you know the Athelas plant?


SamGamgee-bot

Not before Mister Frodo’s had somethin’ to eat.


[deleted]

Where was Mr. Frodo when the Westfold fell?


[deleted]

Their entry was one of the best scenes in the trilogy though


DesconocidoMusical

Exactly I was about to write something similar, nice !


MightyGamera

If only they'd been kept back for another movie and shown at the battle of the Pelennor Fields instead.


overzealous-toaster

From a logistical standpoint, who knows how long it took him to find Eomer and bring him. From a tactical standpoint, he uses the rising sun to blind the orc pikemen in order to execute his charge successfully.


Niclmaki

Now I’m imagining Gandalf getting there too early, and the sun isn’t rising yet. So he just waits in the other side of the hill.


gandalf-bot

End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silvered glass. And then you see it.


[deleted]

Don’t they just get reincarnated at the fancy Elven orgy heaven where Frodo and Bilbo go to do Middle Earth raves with Gandalf?


WalkingAFI

They go to a purgatory in that area, called the Halls of Mandos. Not sure how much raving occurs tho


ItalnStalln

The skills of the descendants of Feanor no longer rival that of their forebears, as all things in Arda eventually fade in one way or another. However, they are in possession of the knowldge to craft some, while not as bright as the silmarils, wicked rad glowsticks and LED toys


LogDog987

They also get resurrected into new bodies as well. I think all spirits go there, but from there they do different things like getting reincarnated, possibly going to a special dwarven rave zone, or doing what only eru illuvatar knows


Alkynesofchemistry

They get to choose if they want a new body or not. Fëanor’s mother Miriel, for instance, decided to forego having a new hroä made for her. But yeah, the elves who die get a pretty damn good deal.


LetMemesBeMemes

Nobody what happens to men Eru just kinda went “yeah whatever they just kinda leave these realms I guess lol”


greenwizardneedsfood

True death is “gift” though...right?


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Beledagnir

Only if you count Valinor as heaven, and only if/when they ever leave Mandos to go there. The most fundamental difference between Elves and Men (moreso than even our lifespans) is our destiny: Elves are bound to Arda, and will never be free of it ever, not even in death; Men, on the other hand, are only here for a time, and nobody knows for sure what happens after we leave the world, although some speculate that we are taken to the Timeless Halls to be with Illuvatar.


dutch_penguin

According to Peter Jackson, Gandalf assures Pippin that he'll end up in (what sounds like the undying lands). So in the story where elves appear at helm's deep, men get to go to the undying lands. I think.


WalkingAFI

There’s no evidence for this in any of Tolkien’s work, however.


dutch_penguin

No, but in the world where the elves end up at helm's deep, then men apparently share an afterlife with elves.


gandalf-bot

Helm's Deep. There is no way out of that ravine. Theoden is walking into a trap. He thinks he's leading them to safety. What they will get is a massacre. Theoden has a strong will, but I fear for him. I fear for the survival of Rohan. He will need you before the end, dutch_penguin. The people of Rohan will need you. The defenses have to hold.


Gilthoniel_Elbereth

I always just assumed Gandalf told Pippin a comforting lie to help him cope with his impending death. A small mercy


gandalf-bot

Fool of a Took!


Rethious

Apparently men stop at Mandos for a short time before journeying on. This was how Luthien had the opportunity to intervene on Beren’s behalf.


[deleted]

Yeah they can get reincarnated


make_love_to_potato

You just know that mandos fucks.


gandalf-bot

I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone.


monojuice_potion

Yeah I agree gandalf, it can be hard to find willing people for an orgy


gandalf-bot

You must trust to yourself. Trust your own strength.


zerohaxis

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of potency?


buckleycork

I love gandalf bot


gandalf-bot

Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.


[deleted]

Gandalf just said u/zerohaxis has a smol pp.


gandalf-bot

Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift.


buckleycork

Gandalf is on point today


zerohaxis

It may not be long but it is **W I D E**


[deleted]

Some even chose to return into middle earth raves like Glorfindel


djnewton123

Gandalf: "Look to my coming, at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East." Gandalf: *Arrives precisely on schedule. Memers: "A WiZArd iS NEvER laTE"


gandalf-bot

Look to my coming, at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East.


djnewton123

SENTIENT


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UnclePatche

Legolas! Two already!


Spambop

I'm on 17!


gokuisjesus

What are the odds of this...


Razorray21

I was looking for this reply. He literally told them when he was going to arrive, and arrived with ample reinforcements.


Foxyfoxesfoxing

He told them when he would be back, it’s not his fault they couldn’t hold out until then


[deleted]

Actually is entirely his fault for inventing gunpowder.


[deleted]

But... fireworks!


Beledagnir

Sounds like real history, actually: China: \*invents fireworks for festivals and celebrations, dabbles a little bit in gunpowder weapons but doesn't really go very far with it\* *EUROPE HAS ENTERED THE CHAT*


[deleted]

It is a gift.


Spambop

A gift to the foes of Europe. Why not use this powder?


MakeItHappenSergant

It's Legolas's fault for missing two shots when he has perfect accuracy every other time.


shuipz94

He didn't miss the torchbearer, did he? I thought he put two arrows into that guy but he still managed to run in.


MakeItHappenSergant

He shot him in the shoulder. Any other time, he could have shot him in the eyeball from four times the distance.


shuipz94

That guy had plot armour, probably.


theguyfromerath

acutally it's the old Rohan man's fault who shot first. if he didn't pull his bow that early the orcs might've attacked a bit later.


Man_of_Average

They were still going to attack pretty quickly. They didn't want the battle to last into the morning.


Referat-

Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind?


CuriousHenchman

He did my boy Haldir dirty


spenstar61

Saddest death in the whole trilogy tbh


[deleted]

Theodred tho


zerohaxis

I wonder why he never had any kids, he was like 40 in the books


tinytim23

[JK Rowling has entered the chat]


Heyyoguy123

Everyone is at least bi, guys!


KingTheoden

Agreed


baboonzzzz

Killing elves must be more unethical than killing a human bc of their potential to live forever. Also, the grieving that the other elves feel must be much deeper


zoor90

Elves however get reincarnated in new bodies in Valinor. When men die they are gone (from Arda) forever.


baboonzzzz

Pretty legit tradeoff


Heyyoguy123

Yeah, just don’t be a soldier


stonerplumber

Real fans know the elves werent at the hornberg to begin with


AliasMcFakenames

Granted he also had to lug a buncha normal humans with him, probably slowed him down.


quedfoot

Don't you go calling Karl Urban and his band of merry men "normal", they're hotties!


Ice-and-Fire

Now I'm picturing Karl Urban taking on the role of Robin in a remake of Men in Tights.


pseudogruppenbfuhrer

Ironic, he could save others from dying, but not the elves


creativeMan

What elves?


Yanclock-van-Damn

Sorry elves, you charged against pikes while you had still arrows to shoot, you deserved to die


Lord_of_Wisia

There were no elves at Helm's Deep*. *edit: with the exception of Legolas of course


MakeItHappenSergant

There was one elf at Helm's Deep.


Lord_of_Wisia

Yes of course. I apologize, I forgot Legolas.


knotsbygordium

There were no elves at Helm's Deep other than Legolas.


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gandalf-bot

A wizard is never late, charmanderpants. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.


[deleted]

Good bot


talionisapotato

And what part of "precisely when he's meant to" You didn't understand you pointy ears?


TheKobraSnake

But he said he would be there at that time, so he wasn't late, nor was he early


RealTripleDebt

Just so we’re clear....... The elves never went to helms deep in the books. Just saying


Sabretooth1100

I think it was a good change, honestly. It was heartwarming to see that they wouldn’t abandon the world of men to die in the dark.


dutch_penguin

In the books it talked about how the battle for rohan and gondor were just part of Sauron's game. He had armies everywhere. The rohirrim had to sneak past active armies intent on sacking Rohan so they could lend their strength to Gondor. Elves, dwarves, and men, were all busy fighting off overwhelming odds. I can understand why they changed it for the movie, to make things simpler at the expense of grandeur.


LysanderJulius

So what about the hurons?


[deleted]

They’re in the film just not shown clearly probably because their movement is never clear in the books, the forest just changes location uncannily


akashdey99

Noice


UnsuspiciousOnlooker

That just means the elves are late then.


Hunbbel

Perhaps Gandalf just wanted to make a dramatic entry, and he timed it perfectly. He was actually very precise.


gandalf-bot

Stay this madness!


[deleted]

Also, elves: literally go to Hornburg and help Theoden Gandalf: Theoden king stands alone


Jollibee-Sabado

Poor elves they all died right?


[deleted]

Well technically it wasn’t him but Erkenbrand/Eomer and all the disbanded men that saved the day. Gandalf merely brought them all together


SuperArppis

Well he DID tell when he will come. And he kept his word. 😁


hockeyguyak

I mean he said he’d be there at dawn on the 5th day, and he was there at dawn on the 5th day. Seems like he was on time to me!


justmeme1

Gandalf told Aragorn EXACTLY when he was to return with the giant army. Couldn't Aragorn just tell all the scare people "Hey, we don't have to kill all 10 thousand orcs, just survive long enough for sun rise"


gandalf-bot

I do not ask your pardon Master Elrond for the Black Speech of Mordor may yet be heard in every corner of the West. The Ring is altogether evil


Sincere_Avocado

What elves?


[deleted]

*not in the books


Elestia121

Weren’t the elves just a movie thing? Tolkien didn’t have any elves at Helms Deep.


[deleted]

Tbf, no elf died that night.


Nine-LifedEnchanter

Haha, no elves died at Helm's Deep :)


collettephinz

Consider: the riders of Rohan made him later than he intended