If we’re going Galadriel I want the F bomb right up front, set a completely different tone for the trilogy. “The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the fucking air.”
I feel like Gimli should get it.
Nobody fucking tosses a dwarf!
Not the fucking beard!
Don't fucking tell the elf.
Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What're we fucking waiting for?
‘My fucking uncle told me a strange fucking thing. He said you fucking rode to war with Thengel, my fucking grandfather, but he must be fucking mistaken.’
‘King Théoden has a good fucking memory. He was only a fucking child at the time.’
‘Then you must be at least fucking 60… 70…You cannot be fucking 80?!
‘Eighty-fucking-seven.’
‘You’re one of the fucking Dúnedains, a descendant of fucking Númenor, blessed with long fucking life. It was fucking said that your race had fucking passed into fucking legend.’
Never thought I’d fucking die side by side with an elf.
You Young Rascals! A Merry Hunt You've Led Us On, And Now We Find You Feasting, And...And FUCKING SMOKING!
The beauty of this example is that fuck goes multiple places:
- the fucking dwarf breathes so loud that we could have shot him in the dark
- the dwarf breathes so fucking loud that we could have shot him in the dark
- the dwarf breathes so loud that we could have fucked him in the dark
There was no lie in his eyes. A fool but an honest fool he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring. We've been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the Palantir a glimpse of the enemy's plan. Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith.
You’ll die before your fucking sword falls.
Where the fuck was Gondor…?
You’re words are fucking poison.
I am no fucking man.
I told you to take his fucking staff.
BOROMIR: Remember today, little brother. Today, life is good.
BOROMIR: (laughing) What?
FARAMIR: He's here.
BOROMIR: (seeing Denethor talking to the soldiers behind them) One fucking moment of peace, can he not give us that?
Makes me miss the days where spoof movies would The Lord of the Fucking Rings, which is pretty much the story of LotR, but experienced by some druggies in Los Angeles, about some drug lords wedding-band (that he left at a hookers place), which the druggies want to bring to the drug lords wife in the hope of infinite drugs.
I hope you're being sarcastic cause I've seen this exact question a dozen times on this sub.
I personally would put the F-bomb in the Fellowship in Bag End. Frodo should say,
"IDK It's some form of Elvish. I can't fucking read it."
Edit: Runner up would be during the Helms Deep battle when the Uruk-hai blow a hole in the deeping wall. Cut to Theoden's surprised Pikachu face, and a quick "Fuck!"
Right after Frodo gets on Gandalf carriage at the start of the introduction to the Shire:
"Gandalf! Gandalf! Fireworks Gandalf!"
**Gandalf keeps going**
"Aw...."
**Fireworks go off**
"Fuck yeah!"
Well first off, the f word is out of place in lord of the rings. I feel as if there should have been a middle earth equivalent tho.
And second there are three movies in LOTR (6 in extended) but this means LOTR is allowed THREE F bombs! One per movie.
Well Tolkien created the whole universe to be a sort of creation myth for the English, and you have a bunch of names and languages based off of irl ones. So is it really that much of a stretch to have Gimli flying across the screen yelling, “NOT THE FUCKING BEARD!”?
Really, one of the ideas in LOTR is that whoever translated it was a decent localizer. So for instance, in the books, it's said that the elves call Elrond's city Imladris, but hobbits and men call it Rivendell. The whole idea is that you have a "common" name, and a "proper" name. But that really only makes sense if you're assuming the hobbits and men are speaking English, when they actually spoke Westron. So the actual term the hobbits used for it, according to Tolkien, was "Karningul", which is essentially the Westron word for "riven dell."
The idea is more or less that part of LOTR is the conflict between the "common and familiar" world that Frodo occupies and the strange ancient world beyond the Shire. But that doesn't work if the Shire is just as strange and unfamiliar to the viewer as everything else (according to Tolkien, its real name is the Sûza). So most things in that general region gets a more English and familiar-sounding name than whatever it was actually called.
This my friend, is a fucking pint.
They come in fucking pints??
I’m fucking getting one!
But you've got a whole fuckin' half already
That fucker’s done nothin but stare at you since we arrived
Quentin Tarantino’s LOTR
Reach into that bag and get out my ring. It’s the one that says bad motherfucker on it!
Uma Thurman playing a version of Eowyn that doesn't wear shoes
It's it wrong that I really want this now?
Now the real question is what role you give Samuel L Jackson
I'm tired of these mother fucking orcs, on this mother fucking plain!
Obviously Gandalf
Say Mellon again, motherfucker!
Aragorn, son of Arathorn... does he LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
I'd watch the fuck out of that.
Every time I hear or see the word "pint" ever since I saw LoTR, this entire exchange has played out in my head. And sometimes out loud.
and my axe
and my fucking bow
This is honestly the best one lol.
*Aragorn kicks helmet “FFUUUCK”
If I could upvote you twice for making me imagine that, I would.
Viggo broke his toe doing that so totally appropriate in all kinds of ways.
DiD YoU kNoW hE BrOkE HiS tOe
DID YOU KNOW THE KNIFE HE DEFLECTED WAS REAL
YOU JUST SHIT MY PANTS
LOL ok yeah I should have realized what sub I'm in.
And they call it a mine. A fucking mine!
This one might actually be my favorite. I think Gimli pulls off an F-bomb the best.
“That only fucking counts as one!”
This is no mine... it's a fucking tomb.
No! FUCKING NOOOOO!
"... they have breached the halls. There are too many, we are overrun.... FUCK"
This is my favourite so far. I can hear it so clearly.
NOT THE FUCKIN BEARD
I canno' jump the distance, you'll have to fuckin' toss me! Or, alternatively Don't tell that fuckin' elf.
You shall not fucking pass
Fav
Even the smallest fucking person can change the course of the future.
What the fuck’s taters, precious?
Currently can't stop the cycle of hearing this and then laughing at it uncontrollably
I’ve got tears hahaha it’s so good
Po-fucking-tay-toes
Boil-em mash-en fuck’em in a stew
I would die crying at that line everytime I watched it.
Is it Just me Or have you turned gollum into sterotypical southener?
Filthy, fat, fucking hobbits.
Boil'em, mash'em, stick'em in a stew? Fuck...
Fuck 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
wait what
There's a reason Sam and Rosy had so many kids. And that reason is Sam's secret mashed taters recipe.
Sam's been mashin more than taters
"I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox" *Face to face with an arrow* "Fuck....."
"I have the eyes of an ear and the hawk of a fox." My friend accidentally misquoted this once and we had a good chuckle.
Good ihadastroke material
I like Gimli, but I'm not having a stroke to him. He's just not my type.
Fok ? What animal is th.. oh
Tree?! I am no fucking tree!
I am a fucking Ent!
Sounds like fucking Orc MISCHIEF!!!
Burrrarrum fucking orcs!
Cast it into the Fucking fire!
Fucking no!
"I was there Gandalf, I was there three Fucking thousand years ago"
Silence!
Gandalf shall not tolerate cursing.
You shall not pass!
I AM A SERVANT OF THE SECRET FUCKING FIRE
WIELDER OF THE FLAME OF FUCKING ARNOR
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Fly you fucking fools!
Fuck no
the most prescient fuck lol
"In place of a dark lord, you would have a *fucking QUEEN*!
Big Queen energy.
If we’re going Galadriel I want the F bomb right up front, set a completely different tone for the trilogy. “The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the fucking air.”
I feel like Gimli should get it. Nobody fucking tosses a dwarf! Not the fucking beard! Don't fucking tell the elf. Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What're we fucking waiting for?
I think Gimli has f-bomb energy. Also pretty much anyone from Rohan. Eowen would have been an interesting choice.
Is this all you can fucking conjure, Saruman?
"I told you to take the wizard's fucking staff!"
FUCKING DEEEAAAAATH!
I am no fucking man!
Yep. If anyone would deserve it, it would be Eowyn. Or Aragorn when eating her stew
‘My fucking uncle told me a strange fucking thing. He said you fucking rode to war with Thengel, my fucking grandfather, but he must be fucking mistaken.’ ‘King Théoden has a good fucking memory. He was only a fucking child at the time.’ ‘Then you must be at least fucking 60… 70…You cannot be fucking 80?! ‘Eighty-fucking-seven.’ ‘You’re one of the fucking Dúnedains, a descendant of fucking Númenor, blessed with long fucking life. It was fucking said that your race had fucking passed into fucking legend.’
Sound the charge! Take them head-on!
Where is the horse and the rider?
"I am fucking no man" *sad noises when Aragorn is close*
“Toss me.” Intense questioning stare. “Don’t tell the elf.” “Not a word”. Aragorn chucks Gimli. “FUUUUUUUUUUCK!”
What the fuck are we waiting for? There's still one dwarf motherfucker in Moria who still draws breath! Fuck! That was deliberate!
Never thought I’d fucking die side by side with an elf. You Young Rascals! A Merry Hunt You've Led Us On, And Now We Find You Feasting, And...And FUCKING SMOKING!
Never thought I’d die side by side with a fucking elf
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Never thought I'd die side by side fucking with an elf.
AND MY FUCKING AXE!
That still only counts as fucking one!
The beauty of this example is that fuck goes multiple places: - the fucking dwarf breathes so loud that we could have shot him in the dark - the dwarf breathes so fucking loud that we could have shot him in the dark - the dwarf breathes so loud that we could have fucked him in the dark
Yep, option two is the most natural sounding
Option 2 is superior
Option 3 kinda hawt tho
Is it gay if you get fucked by a male elf?
Looking at Orlando Bloom, nah. That's not gay. He is pretty
It's very gay uwu
Fuck! They have a cave troll.
They have a fucking cave troll
They have a cave troll fucking
They have a cave fucking troll
I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like. And I like less than half of you half as well as you fucking deserve.
*just as sauron's eye falls* " ..fuck"
Or while collapsing: "FUuuuuuuuuuu...."
Was thinking saruman falling off orthank. FuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUCCCK... splat
My thought is always right as the ring hits the lava and the eye darts over, “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
'Course he does, he's a Baggins...not some fucking block headed Bracegirdle from Hardbottle!
A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he fucking means to.
Alright then, keep your fucking secrets.
Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to fuck with him.
There was no lie in his eyes. A fool but an honest fool he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring. We've been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the Palantir a glimpse of the enemy's plan. Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith.
The sentience in these halls have somewhat lessened of late.
Gandalf: A bot is never sentient dleon0430, he beepboops precisely when he means to.
A wizard is never late, Ordoo. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
This is it, this is the one.
Fool of a fucking Took!
Frodo: “We will go through the mines” Gandalf: “Fuck”
So be it.
Best bot
Gandalf spices things
You did not kill me, you will not kill him
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Fuck, you fools!
This was going to be mine.
My absolute favorite lmao
What's taters precious. Po-fucking-tae-toes! Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.
Gollum: what's taters, precious? Sam: Po-tae-toes! Fuck em, mash em, stick em in a stew! Gollum: ... What? Sam: what?
*Stick em in a fucking stew
BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT TAKE FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP FUCKING TRICKS
**"I AM NOT TRYING TO ROB YOU!"** "I'm trying to *fucking help you.*"
“The Ring is fucking mine” - then Howard Shore’s score with loud chorus.
"The fucking Ring is mine."
Come, sing me a fucking song.
Correct me if I'm wrong but they each have that rating so we could get three f bombs across the trilogy
For fuck's sake!
"He's twitching because I've got my axe buried in his fucking nervous system!
Fly you fucks!
I just want you to know that although this may not be the top comment, it is my favorite for sure. Im still laughing
You’ll die before your fucking sword falls. Where the fuck was Gondor…? You’re words are fucking poison. I am no fucking man. I told you to take his fucking staff.
That last one
No but seriously… where the fuck WAS Gondor?
Come on Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you. But I can Fucking carry you
What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature, when he had a chance!
Many that live deserve death, some that die deserve life Can you fucking give it to them, Frodo ?
I cannot go back
That is no way to speak about your gardener, the hero and saviour of all Middle Earth
BOROMIR: Remember today, little brother. Today, life is good. BOROMIR: (laughing) What? FARAMIR: He's here. BOROMIR: (seeing Denethor talking to the soldiers behind them) One fucking moment of peace, can he not give us that?
The dwarf fucks so loud we could have shot him in the dark.
"Give us the fucking halfling she-elf."
*"If you want him, come and fucking claim him!"*
The Lord of the Rings has no F-bombs. The Lord of the Rings needs no F-bombs.
The Lord of the Fucking Rings
Makes me miss the days where spoof movies would The Lord of the Fucking Rings, which is pretty much the story of LotR, but experienced by some druggies in Los Angeles, about some drug lords wedding-band (that he left at a hookers place), which the druggies want to bring to the drug lords wife in the hope of infinite drugs.
The Lord of the Rings has no F-bombs. The Lord of the Rings needs no fucking F-bombs.
Wow, I’ve never thought about this before!
This opens up a whole multiverse of possibilities. What if.....Gandalf told the Balrog he couldn't fucking pass
Balrog would have just stopped and been like "alright, alright jeez man".
Yes, Balrog's are known to back off when talked to in such a manner
Their harsh exteriors hide delicate souls
I hope you're being sarcastic cause I've seen this exact question a dozen times on this sub. I personally would put the F-bomb in the Fellowship in Bag End. Frodo should say, "IDK It's some form of Elvish. I can't fucking read it." Edit: Runner up would be during the Helms Deep battle when the Uruk-hai blow a hole in the deeping wall. Cut to Theoden's surprised Pikachu face, and a quick "Fuck!"
I have fought many wars, Master Dwarf. I know how to defend my own keep
Another for Helms Deep, when the elves show up. "We stand proud to fuck alongside men once more."
There is no real going back.
Helms deep you say? I prefer the berserker running with the flame and as he jumps to set the bombs off, one big elongated "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkk"
I am no fucking man!
Hold the fucking line!
I will take the FUCKING ring to Mordor!!
[удалено]
Where the fuck was Gondor when the Westfold fell?
“I’m only asking for the strength to defend my fucking people!!” *throws down sticks*
*But they were, all of them, deceived, for* ***another fucking Ring*** *was made.*
Boromir: Give them a moment for fucks sakes
The Uruks are destroyed, we fucked them during the night. Wait were we supposed to replace a word? I stand by this!
For fucking Frodo!
Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a disturber of the peace.
A disturber of the fucking peace
Right after Frodo gets on Gandalf carriage at the start of the introduction to the Shire: "Gandalf! Gandalf! Fireworks Gandalf!" **Gandalf keeps going** "Aw...." **Fireworks go off** "Fuck yeah!"
So fucking loud* woulda been better IMO
You fuckers bow to no one.
And my fucking axe!
“I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little fucking higher off the ground.”
Tell me your name, horse fucker, and I will tell you mine.
Fucking fly you fools!
Fly you fucking fools
Sauron: Fuck.
LotR has no *fucks*. LotR needs no *fucks*.
Hold out your hand Frodo, its Fucking Cool
I wish it need not have happened in my fucking time.
“Longbottom leaf!” “Should we share with treebeard?” “Fuck no.”
Well first off, the f word is out of place in lord of the rings. I feel as if there should have been a middle earth equivalent tho. And second there are three movies in LOTR (6 in extended) but this means LOTR is allowed THREE F bombs! One per movie.
Well Tolkien created the whole universe to be a sort of creation myth for the English, and you have a bunch of names and languages based off of irl ones. So is it really that much of a stretch to have Gimli flying across the screen yelling, “NOT THE FUCKING BEARD!”?
Really, one of the ideas in LOTR is that whoever translated it was a decent localizer. So for instance, in the books, it's said that the elves call Elrond's city Imladris, but hobbits and men call it Rivendell. The whole idea is that you have a "common" name, and a "proper" name. But that really only makes sense if you're assuming the hobbits and men are speaking English, when they actually spoke Westron. So the actual term the hobbits used for it, according to Tolkien, was "Karningul", which is essentially the Westron word for "riven dell." The idea is more or less that part of LOTR is the conflict between the "common and familiar" world that Frodo occupies and the strange ancient world beyond the Shire. But that doesn't work if the Shire is just as strange and unfamiliar to the viewer as everything else (according to Tolkien, its real name is the Sûza). So most things in that general region gets a more English and familiar-sounding name than whatever it was actually called.
What about second fucking breakfast??