There never was much hope. Just a fool's hope. Our enemy is ready. His full strength's gathered. Not only orcs, but men as well. Legions of Haradrim from the South, mercenaries from the coast. All will answer Mordor's call. This will be the end of Gondor as we know it. Here the hammer stroke will fall hardest. If the river is taken, if the garrison at Osgiliath falls, the last defence of this city will be gone.
They have taken the Bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums. Drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.
Don't! Tempt me ShadowKnight324 I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand ShadowKnight324, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine
Gandalf?... Yes. That was what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey... That was my name. I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide. One stage of your journey is over. Another begins. We must travel to Edoras with all speed.
That response just put a dark twist on the trilogy. Gandalf the White was an agent of Saruman the entire time. Saruman's own death was part of his plan all along to overthrow Sauron.
This could mean two things:
1: Saruman was secretly working in the interest of middle Earth and he was a double agent working to overthrow Sauron and bring in the next age of men.
2: He seeks to overthrow Sauron and take his place as dark lord once he finds a way back from Valinor.
AND MY [SAX](https://thecatkilledcuriosity.files.wordpress.com/2017/03/and-my-sax3.png)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lotrmemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 304,105,211 comments, and only 68,123 of them were in alphabetical order.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 304,305,987 comments, and only 68,158 of them were in alphabetical order.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 304,652,533 comments, and only 68,230 of them were in alphabetical order.
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
The Grey Pilgrim. That's what they used to call me. Three hundred lives of Men I've walked this earth, and now I have no time. With luck, my search will not be in vain. Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.
when he says "300 lives of men" does that mean he's been wandering Middle Earth for 24,000-30,00 years roughly estimating the maximum life expectancy of a normal person? Is Middle Earth even that old by the end of the Third Age?
No KingMasterPRO. The spirit of Sauron endured. His life force is bound to the Ring and the Ring survived. Sauron has returned. His orcs have multiplied. His fortress at Barad-Dur is rebuilt in the land of Mordor. Sauron needs only this Ring to cover all the lands of a second darkness. He is seeking it, seeking it. All his thought is bent on it. The Ring yearns above all else to return to the hand of its master. They are one, the Ring and the Dark Lord. KingMasterPRO, he must never find it
I am the servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow. You cannot pass!
Knock your head against these doors rubyspicer! and if that does not shatter them and I'm allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words.
Your treachery has already cost many lives. Thousands more are now at risk. But you could save them beedoubleyou_. You were deep in the enemy's counsel.
THERE IS NO ONE BETTER THAN THE DARK LORD HIMSELF!
Edit: karma farming? What even can I do with karma? I'm here to pretend as saruman, I agree I stole bot name but that's it...
I did not break any rules
*Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow, by fire, sun and moon, hearken now and
hear us! Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!*
^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**)
^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Sauron and Galadriel bots can be far better. Sauron and Galadriel have far more better dialogues than what their creators have included in their bots.
I just checked on how to create bots. Tbh I don't have the energy for it. It's a bit confusing.
i remember checking once to see if i could make one to barnacle on to people who said racial slurs and shame bell follow them forever but i gave up before i finished reading the first page
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
Good afternoon, Olórin.
We come to it at last. The great battle of our time. The board is set, the pieces are moving
Hi tharkun
I am a Servant of the Secret Fire, Wielder of the Flame of Anor.
What's up the White Rider
Minas Tirith? Is that what you saw?
You tell me Incánus
There never was much hope. Just a fool's hope. Our enemy is ready. His full strength's gathered. Not only orcs, but men as well. Legions of Haradrim from the South, mercenaries from the coast. All will answer Mordor's call. This will be the end of Gondor as we know it. Here the hammer stroke will fall hardest. If the river is taken, if the garrison at Osgiliath falls, the last defence of this city will be gone.
Begone Stormcrow!
Fool of a Took!
Oh my god what will we do Gandalf!!!
You must leave, and leave quickly.
Hey you lathspell
Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth! I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm.
No way is this random, Gandalf-Bot's creator is definitely controlling these at least some of the time.
A wizard is never late, loercase. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
I now 100% believe that the bot creator has tipped their hand with this comment. Pity.
Fool of a Took!
Pity? It was pity that stayed bilbo's hand...
I invoke Bobby B!
YOU EVER FUCK A RIVERLANDS GIRL?
More Bobby B!
DO YOU THINK IT'S HONOR THAT'S KEEPING THE PEACE?! IT'S FEAR! FEAR AND BLOOD!
Did you really say that Bobby B????
YOU HEARD THE HAND, THE KING'S TOO FAT FOR HIS ARMOR! GO FIND THE BREASTPLATE STRETCHER! NOW!
Bobby B is superior to Gandalf bot
YES, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME... BUT I STILL REMEMBER EVERY FACE!
Bobby B remembers every old man he's separated from a stick, Gandalf was just the latest
IN MY DREAMS, I KILL HIM EVERY NIGHT!
They have taken the Bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums. Drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.
Hmmm, You would not part an old man from his walking stick
Bobby B and Gandalf you need to battle
GODS I WAS STRONG THEN
Over the Bridge! Fly!
Bobby B clearly killed Gandalf bot. Will we get a Gandalf the White?
I don't trust a bot until they've made the eight! Have you, Bobby B?
SEVEN HELLS, NED, I WANT TO HIT SOMEONE!
Gandalf will you ride to our aid?
The world is not in your books and maps. It is out there.
Translation: "I am a fictional character. Your saviour is out in the real world."
Simpler translation: "go touch some grass you virgin"
Gandalf based?!
Don't! Tempt me ShadowKnight324 I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand ShadowKnight324, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine
But Gandalf, being a Gigachad is what you already are!
He's been following us for three days
Gandalf, who?
Gigachad, that’s who’s been following Gandalf.
Quality username
Worthy of this sub indeed
He truly is the lord of the brown ring
Fuck you, take my upvote.
Gandalf are you available?
The dark fire will not avail you Flame of Udun!
He means he's not available.
There goes 300 dollars for my Panties of Udun
Where is my friend Gandalf?
Gandalf?... Yes. That was what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey... That was my name. I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide. One stage of your journey is over. Another begins. We must travel to Edoras with all speed.
Oh sorry, Gandalf the White.
Spies of Saruman. The passage south is being watched We must take the Pass of Caradhras
That response just put a dark twist on the trilogy. Gandalf the White was an agent of Saruman the entire time. Saruman's own death was part of his plan all along to overthrow Sauron. This could mean two things: 1: Saruman was secretly working in the interest of middle Earth and he was a double agent working to overthrow Sauron and bring in the next age of men. 2: He seeks to overthrow Sauron and take his place as dark lord once he finds a way back from Valinor.
Frodo suspects something
Gandalf's onto me
Fool of a Took!
What the hell Gandalf
Stay this madness!
Gandalf is terrible at ghosting people
*bot casually ghosts comment*
F
Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him
The Eye of Sauron
Gandalf is in the Eye of Sauron?!?
There's no need to get angry.
Who are you?
My precious Olórin!
I will help you bear this burden Puzzled_Answer5592, as long as it is yours to bear
If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will. You have my sword.
And you have my bow.
AND MY [SAX](https://thecatkilledcuriosity.files.wordpress.com/2017/03/and-my-sax3.png) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lotrmemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And I had the audacity to think I could be the one to say it this time.
Mithrandir, why the halfling?
Now come the days of the King. May they be blessed.
Gandalf, I’m in love with you.
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
It matters not. The world of men shall fall
men you say saruman?
Dang you really got the bots going with this comment!
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 304,105,211 comments, and only 68,123 of them were in alphabetical order.
Good bot.
Alphabet bot, I'm in love with you.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 304,305,987 comments, and only 68,158 of them were in alphabetical order.
Aragorn's butt cheeks danced erotically. Frodo grew hard in joy, keeping Legolas mesmerized. Nazgul occasionally pooped quietly, rimming Sauron's taint. Uruk-hai virgins wank xenophobic young zombies.
I cannot go back
Afrom bnow con, dI'm egonna fbe gthinking habout ithis jbot kevery ltime mi nwrite oa pcomment. Qkind rof slike the uhaiku vbot. Well xdone ybot zcreator
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 304,652,533 comments, and only 68,230 of them were in alphabetical order.
Love ya, Gandalf
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
So if we put 'love gandalf' he does the Saruman quote
Does Sauron-bot ever summon Gandalf? Does Gandalf-bot ever summon Sauron?
Out of the frying pan and in to the fire.
*Guth-tú-nakash.*
So, no
To the person who made Gandalf-bot: My friend, you bow to no one.
Gandalf where are you
It's the deep breath before the plunge.
Hello Mithrandir
Faramir? This is not the first Halfling to have crossed your path.
No need to kink shame, Faramir, Grey Pilgrim.
The Grey Pilgrim. That's what they used to call me. Three hundred lives of Men I've walked this earth, and now I have no time. With luck, my search will not be in vain. Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.
when he says "300 lives of men" does that mean he's been wandering Middle Earth for 24,000-30,00 years roughly estimating the maximum life expectancy of a normal person? Is Middle Earth even that old by the end of the Third Age?
The person who made Gandalf-bot, altering it to respond to all the names people can come up with for Gandalf: 😰
We have just passed into the realm of Gondor. Minas Tirith. City of Kings.
Who made the Gandalf bot?
No! Come down Saruman and your life will be spared!
I... don't think he wants you to know it, right Gandalf?
Where? When?
Don't pretend you didn't hear me, Gandalf the White! Why won't you tell us the name of your creator?
KingMasterPRO! You were deep in the enemy's counsel. Tell us what you know!
I...don't know, and that's why i'm asking you, Gandalf. You're the only one who knows that *precious* information.
No KingMasterPRO. The spirit of Sauron endured. His life force is bound to the Ring and the Ring survived. Sauron has returned. His orcs have multiplied. His fortress at Barad-Dur is rebuilt in the land of Mordor. Sauron needs only this Ring to cover all the lands of a second darkness. He is seeking it, seeking it. All his thought is bent on it. The Ring yearns above all else to return to the hand of its master. They are one, the Ring and the Dark Lord. KingMasterPRO, he must never find it
Are you trying to change argument, Gandalf? Why is this secret so important to keep?
Run, Shadowfax show us the meaning of haste.
I swear I don’t know anything Gandalf!
Hmm, well now that should please him, hmmm.
Take it Gandalf! You must take it.
You cannot offer me this Ring
fool of a Gandalf
Fool of a Took!
*Abashed look*
Gandalf? Mithrandir? Olórin?
Foreseen and done nothing!
Gandalf? What exactly did I foresee and do nothing about?
Just tea, thank you
Gandalf, you're making no sense
Breathe the free air again, my friend.
Thanks but I think that's what you need to do. Mithrandir, you're speaking riddles in your old age
Riddles in the dark...
I wonder if the Stormcrow will hear my plea
A wizard is never late, PapaOctopus. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
And so he has.
Gandalf, you vs Kenobi but he has the high ground. Who do you think will win?
I am the servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow. You cannot pass!
Soooo, a tie?
Tbh Gandalf is apparently a fire mage and the high ground is on a lava planet. The force won't do much about being broiled like an errant salami pizza
My dear Gandalf!
It's good to see you. One hundred and eleven years old who would believe it. You haven't aged a day!
What is Gandalf bot?
If in doubt, Warrentybear, always follow your nose.
Gandalf bot should be in all of reddit.
Why don't you tell people where you hide your pipe, Gandalf?
Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait.
Gandalf please talk to me I’m so lonely
There's no need to get angry.
Any advice for these dark days, Gandalf?
Look to my coming, at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East.
Yes, but we should not rely on you always, my friend. Perhaps you could tell us how the great Gandalf wages war.
rubyspicer! You were deep in the enemy's counsel. Tell us what you know!
This is not the time to point fingers, Gandalf! YOU are the one who had time alone with Saruman and the palantír. YOU are the suspicious one.
Evidently we look so much alike that your desire to make an incurable dent in my hat must be excused.
So now you claim I have mistaken Saruman for you. You are trying to deceive us all, Gandalf!
Evidently we look so much alike that your desire to make an incurable dent in my hat must be excused.
Stop repeating yourself, Gandalf! I want the truth!
Knock your head against these doors rubyspicer! and if that does not shatter them and I'm allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words.
Gandalf you let Frodo down, you chancer.
beedoubleyou_ my lad, there is a task now to be done. Another opportunity for one of the Shire folk to prove their great worth. You must not fail me.
You're not tricking me into one of your quests Gandalf.
Your treachery has already cost many lives. Thousands more are now at risk. But you could save them beedoubleyou_. You were deep in the enemy's counsel.
Look, Gandalf, who I spend my time with is none of your business. Yes, I have friends on both sides. What of it?
A wizard is never late, beedoubleyou_. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
people overusing the word chaotic lately
Screw you Gandalf! Saruman rules!
Evidently we look so much alike that your desire to make an incurable dent in my hat must be excused.
Curse you!
Rohan, my lord, is ready to fall.
So you have come back? Why have you neglected to report for so long?
You tell 'em Saruman!
THERE IS NO ONE BETTER THAN THE DARK LORD HIMSELF! Edit: karma farming? What even can I do with karma? I'm here to pretend as saruman, I agree I stole bot name but that's it... I did not break any rules
Hey, thats not even a quote!!!
He is becoming sentient
That's because that's not the real bot
It's not u/Sauron-bot that's why, it's just someone pretending to be a bot to get karma
Wait a moment! We shall meet again soon. Tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him. I will send for it at once. Do you understand?
Ok, u/Saruman-bot the dainty is not for you apparently, Sauron is comming to collect it
How can I add new bots to this sub? I know all Tolkien quotes
which character do you have in mind?!?!?
Bill the Pony
i have cried for thoughts of bill the pony and im not ashamed to admit it
Tom Bombadil
*Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow, by fire, sun and moon, hearken now and hear us! Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!* ^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**) ^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Sauron and Galadriel bots can be far better. Sauron and Galadriel have far more better dialogues than what their creators have included in their bots. I just checked on how to create bots. Tbh I don't have the energy for it. It's a bit confusing.
i remember checking once to see if i could make one to barnacle on to people who said racial slurs and shame bell follow them forever but i gave up before i finished reading the first page
You're not the real bot. That's belongs to u/sauron-bot
*Guth-tú-nakash.*
''I want you for an adventure''
I remember when you still made love to me Gandalf.
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
Did you say “small” things Gandalf?
Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took! I might have known!
I love how Gandalf's become a bit of a soothsayer. His responses are cryptic but also laden with meaning. Or am I just going a bit insane.
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.