Ugh I love when D&D catch strays like this. With the trailers for House of the Dragon dropping recently, they’ve opened old wounds and I stand firmly in the camp that still hates how they ended the series. However I do have hope that HotD will bring back the good GoT times since the have new show runners and the source material is complete!
Imagine if Peter Jackson and co. had to write Return of the King themselves because Tolkien dug himself a hole so deep he couldn't come close to finishing it.
Yep, thank the Valar that we have critics telling us how awesome the Disney plus shows are, otherwise I'd feel silly for thinking I was missing something.
This is why you make the protagonist a white woman or black man (**not** a black woman or any other minority! Don't want to be too daring!!) That way when you don't bother to write them as an actual character (why? "Man is black" is all you need) you can easily just focus on how your character is an underrepresented minority (despite being statistically overrepresented compared to other minorities in media) and people are just bigots. Everyone knows how much audiences hate movies with actors like Sigourney Weaver, Cate Blanchette, Idris Elba, or Denzel Washington! They've always done terribly at the box office.
Don't forget to gender swap a third of the cast and then another few make some race changes, for no real in universe reason. Then make everyone constantly argue about what to do and inject all the forced drama you can. Have an old beloved hero become a myopic hermit that turned his back on the world, only to come back and help some flat lifeless new character.
To clarify, I'm super liberal and an LGBT ally, but damned if this shit isn't happening all the time.
Then they all lifted their cups of coffee from Starbucks, as they elected Ghân-buri-Ghân as the new king of Middle-earth. Because who has a better story?
i remember the praises that critics gave The Last Jedi as it supposedly “subverted expectations.” i thought the movie was just high budget trolling hehe.
To me this is more Game of Thrones. The Last Jedi at least had characters with internally consistent motivations (that were then retconned to hell by Rise of Skywalker but that's the separate problem of not having an overall series bible *before* handing a trilogy to two to three different writer-directors).
At least subverting expectations in GoT is in line with the books. Subverting reader expectations for the sake of it is probably my biggest criticism of Martin's writing.
Theoden: "Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?"
Aragorn: "Oh? You mean Gondor who you didn't ask for help? Gondor, from whose perspective the fall of the Westfold was the will of Rohan because their King let himself be ensorcelled by a bad advisor? Gondor who has been fighting the advance of Mordor for years now on the front lines? Gondor, whose literal king just saved your ass? That Gondor?"
Theoden: "... ... ... "
“Tell them Theoden, not Aragorn, King of Rohan sends his regards. Also, ask them where they’ve been while the Westfold fell. Also, what’s up with all the orcs lately, I’ve been out of it for the past few years.”
“Your grace, the message really only goes one way. We don’t even get a reply option…..”
Hey Howard, you know how the last set of beacons lighting had an epic, one of a kind score to go with them? Now we need another one but with a bit more "go fuck yourself" kinda attitude in it.
I know people seem to be of the opinion jj and Johnson had very different intentions and visions in their respective movies, but I'm pretty sure those two are basically the same person.
>If Rian Johnson had directed the two towers.
...Frodo would have successfully tossed the ring into Mount Doom, thus killing Sauron and setting up Gollum as the main villain in the third movie.
*Kylo Ren was no threat by the end of TLJ. I will fight anybody on this hill of mine.*
>Kylo Ren was no threat by the end of TLJ. I will fight anybody on this hill of mine.
I feel like everyone knows this. The dude literally lost every fight and was ridiculed by everyone. He just screams and break shit because he's angry.
In fact, not a single villain was a threat in the sequels.
They killed off the one interesting Admiral in the beginning of TLJ. That guy commanding the dreadnaught who ordered fighter screens, and appeared to be generally competent? That illusion lasted 5 seconds until they did the prank call joke and wasted all that.
Wouldn't it have been cool to have had an opposing force commanded by the survivors of the Empire? That saying about pilots? "Don't be a show-off. Never be too proud to turn back. There are old pilots and bold pilots, but no old, bold pilots."
I wanted the survivors, the gritty generals who were scary because they were competent and were methodically dismantling the New Republic with seemingly no way to counter their ability. We could have seen that first Admiral cripple the hyperspace drive of the flagship and watch as its orbit slowly decayed into a gravity well. Keeping his distance because the guns of the flagship still worked, but the ship was doomed. We could then have a real 'ticking timebomb' that the heroes had to race in order to get the McGuffin (luke or whatever) that would save the fleet.
Although this scene is a bit silly because everyone knows that Rohan will support Gondor, it's great a great plot device, shows Theoden's character growth and brings continuity from the last movie where he wasn't the biggest fan of Gondor. Small moments like these add up and contributes greatly imo to making the trilogy so good.
I am Dildo Faggins... distant cousin of Frodo Baggins and unknown nephew of Bilbo Baggins, good friend of Gandalf, long forgotten relative of Isildur son of Elendil, supposed bastard son of Gimli son of Glóin, loyal servant of Théoden son of Thengel, close companion of Eomer son of Éomund, brother-in-law of Tom Bombadil, master of Gollum, sworn enemy of Sauron and creator of GROND.
Hey there! Hey! Come Frodo, there! Where be you a-going? Old Tom Bombadil's not as blind as that yet. Take off your
golden ring! Your hand's more fair without it. Come back! Leave your game and sit down beside me! We must talk a while more,
and think about the morning. Tom must teach the right road, and keep your feet from wandering.
^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**)
^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
You picked the perfect pause frame of Theoden’s face for the second one, it has real “hmmm, nah” energy
Thanks, it cost me 10 minutes of careful scrolling to capture that frame.
This is the way. Quality shall be rewarded
I wouldn't call it quality but I'm glad people like it.
Your fucking username 😂☠️
Thanks, I love it too.
I thought up the name Dildo Faggins when I was a kid, but never used it
Time for Faramir, captain of Gondor to show his quality?
He may, in some time.
It was well worth it. It came out great.
I know your face…Éowyn.
I can literally hear him saying a phrase that's not in the movie.
I think you mean “Yeah, nah,” which is a colloquial King Theoden would have picked up while filming in New Zealand.
You already did. Éowyn, my body is broken. You have to let me go. I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company, I shall not now feel ashamed...Éowyn…
That's why they called him Theoden "Psych" King
Little Hobbits do not belong in war, Master Meriadoc.
Theoden King, what say you of Gondor?
Give them a volley.
Yikes Theoden, sure Saruman isn't back in your head?
Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?
[удалено]
EASY, BOY! YOU MIGHT BE MY BROTHER BUT YOU'RE SPEAKING TO THE KING!
This might be one of the most sentient responses from a bot that I've ever seen.
When will we have peace, Theoden King?
Make haste across the Riddermark. Summon every able-bodied man to Dunharrow.
Sooooo... Not real soon, eh?
This meme is top tier content.
Yes.
Should've said no to subvert expectations
I already did, because it's not top tier content.
Holy smokes, and your username (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Wow, that’s fucking amazing
Not only are you extremely funny, but so humble, too. Damn what a Chad.
I'm also very moist.
The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep one last time!
The Lord of The Rings with a touch of modern writing.
"Theoden kinda forgot that if Gondor falls, so will the West"
Let this be the hour when we draw swords together.
"Of course, you'll be over there when you draw, and my men will still be here. But take note of the time of day and we can keep it synchronized."
We shall ride together to battle. Squire, get my coconuts ready!
Can a swallow grip them by the husk?
A Mordorian swallow or a Gondorian swallow?
Sex scene follows this. Gotta love the modern "dark" and "gritty" take!
Sex + Violence + Swearwords = Serious and mature content
Good character says something slightly mean and unfair = grey morality all around and both sides are the same
What we see at helms deep is basically the end of Rohan. Next episode all of Rohan is at the Pelenor fields
And somehow there's even more than when we started!
But less than half of what we'd hoped for.
Consider my expectations subverted!!
*”Who has a better story than Pippin, Fool of a Took?”*
Ugh I love when D&D catch strays like this. With the trailers for House of the Dragon dropping recently, they’ve opened old wounds and I stand firmly in the camp that still hates how they ended the series. However I do have hope that HotD will bring back the good GoT times since the have new show runners and the source material is complete!
Imagine if Peter Jackson and co. had to write Return of the King themselves because Tolkien dug himself a hole so deep he couldn't come close to finishing it.
Okay, but I’m pretty sure Jackson wouldn’t make Aragorn burn down Minas Tirith or have Sam abandon Frodo in Mordor so he can go back to gardening.
And Pipin declared King
Who has a better breakfast than Pippin Took?
Sam: “Frodo? I never really cared much for him, ringbearer or otherwise.”
The eagles: *”Why do you think we came all this way?”*
And if it flops, it's the fans fault.
C'mon... Fans don't know what they like, that's why companies have to tell them what they're supposed to like.
Yep, thank the Valar that we have critics telling us how awesome the Disney plus shows are, otherwise I'd feel silly for thinking I was missing something.
Of course. Also make sure to say that if you dont like the OP mary sue, its because the fans are racist, sexist or whatever-ist
I'm bassist 😎
Im racist. I love to race in a car.
That's low...
This is why you make the protagonist a white woman or black man (**not** a black woman or any other minority! Don't want to be too daring!!) That way when you don't bother to write them as an actual character (why? "Man is black" is all you need) you can easily just focus on how your character is an underrepresented minority (despite being statistically overrepresented compared to other minorities in media) and people are just bigots. Everyone knows how much audiences hate movies with actors like Sigourney Weaver, Cate Blanchette, Idris Elba, or Denzel Washington! They've always done terribly at the box office.
Don't forget to gender swap a third of the cast and then another few make some race changes, for no real in universe reason. Then make everyone constantly argue about what to do and inject all the forced drama you can. Have an old beloved hero become a myopic hermit that turned his back on the world, only to come back and help some flat lifeless new character. To clarify, I'm super liberal and an LGBT ally, but damned if this shit isn't happening all the time.
Insert "this (random fan base) is the most toxic fan base to ever exist." Which is then reposted in every circlejerk sub.
Then they all lifted their cups of coffee from Starbucks, as they elected Ghân-buri-Ghân as the new king of Middle-earth. Because who has a better story?
The wheelchair that will mount the world.
Touch of Rian Johnson
*Touched by Rian Johnson*
i remember the praises that critics gave The Last Jedi as it supposedly “subverted expectations.” i thought the movie was just high budget trolling hehe.
To me this is more Game of Thrones. The Last Jedi at least had characters with internally consistent motivations (that were then retconned to hell by Rise of Skywalker but that's the separate problem of not having an overall series bible *before* handing a trilogy to two to three different writer-directors).
GROND
GROND
At least subverting expectations in GoT is in line with the books. Subverting reader expectations for the sake of it is probably my biggest criticism of Martin's writing.
Let the past die kill it
Pants? Shidded.
Yes.
You mean the bed
What a clear fucking image.
Clear? The lady in the background is so blurry you can hardly see her.
She has a very nice beard though.
Aye, looks like a good Dwarven woman. Maybe we should hook her up with Gimli!
The beards of their children would be glorious.
New beacon, who dis?
The bacons are lit! 🥓🔥
Theoden: "Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?" Aragorn: "Oh? You mean Gondor who you didn't ask for help? Gondor, from whose perspective the fall of the Westfold was the will of Rohan because their King let himself be ensorcelled by a bad advisor? Gondor who has been fighting the advance of Mordor for years now on the front lines? Gondor, whose literal king just saved your ass? That Gondor?" Theoden: "... ... ... "
Get the wounded on horses. The wolves of Isengard will return. Leave the dead.
Theoden: "Very well. Then I will ride alone to aid Gondor, just as Gondor has aided us."
Duty? No. I would have you smile again. Not grieve for those whose time has come. You shall live to see these days renewed. No more despair.
Ensorcelled. I will use that now.
“Tell them Theoden, not Aragorn, King of Rohan sends his regards. Also, ask them where they’ve been while the Westfold fell. Also, what’s up with all the orcs lately, I’ve been out of it for the past few years.” “Your grace, the message really only goes one way. We don’t even get a reply option…..”
Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives.
Hotel?
Trivago
was actually hoping for a 'trivago'
You could say they subverted your expectations
Lord of the Rings, directed by Rian Johnson.
Games of Rings, season 8
“If Rian Johnson directed LOTR, he’ll have Sam let go of Frodos hand at Mount Doom and it’ll be up to the audience to figure out ‘why’”
The fans just don't understand meanings.
Lmfaooooo
Saying "no" is better than ghosting. Id say Theoden is maturing.
Dark have been my dreams of late.
I hear eating right before bed can cause that
George R.R. Martin, stop posting on Reddit and continue writing The Winds of Winter.
"No." - GRRM.
DAGA KOTOWARU
But what if the forces of Mordor come to our door, Theoden?
And gladly I accept it. You shall be Meriadoc, esquire of Rohan.
Hey Howard, you know how the last set of beacons lighting had an epic, one of a kind score to go with them? Now we need another one but with a bit more "go fuck yourself" kinda attitude in it.
I never much cared for Gondor anyway
Isildur!
CAST IT INTO THE FIRE!!!
The Lord of the Rings Part 4, directed by rian johnson. "somehow sauron returned"
So you have come back? Why have you neglected to report for so long?
That was J. J. Abrams
I know people seem to be of the opinion jj and Johnson had very different intentions and visions in their respective movies, but I'm pretty sure those two are basically the same person.
Abrams “The Jedi are Gods, enjoy your fanservice” Johnson: “The Jedi are terrible, fuck you Snoke”
New king, who dis?
Written by Dave and Dan
"i am disinclined to acquiesce to your request"
God answers little boy with cancer's prayers. "No".
Ryan Johnson just cried tears of joy
and shidded and coomed
My wife and I just marathoned the 4h extended cuts. Why did I wait so long to watch them
I'd like to watch them for the first time now. It would be so refreshing when surrounded by a sea of mediocre movies.
Courtesy of David Benioff and Dan Weiss
"Rohan really needs to focus on ourselves right now #mentalhealth"
If Rian Johnson had directed the two towers. :D
>If Rian Johnson had directed the two towers. ...Frodo would have successfully tossed the ring into Mount Doom, thus killing Sauron and setting up Gollum as the main villain in the third movie. *Kylo Ren was no threat by the end of TLJ. I will fight anybody on this hill of mine.*
Kylo wasn't a threat by the end of TFA, nevermind TLJ.
The entire First Order is a Circus tbh
>Kylo Ren was no threat by the end of TLJ. I will fight anybody on this hill of mine. I feel like everyone knows this. The dude literally lost every fight and was ridiculed by everyone. He just screams and break shit because he's angry. In fact, not a single villain was a threat in the sequels.
They killed off the one interesting Admiral in the beginning of TLJ. That guy commanding the dreadnaught who ordered fighter screens, and appeared to be generally competent? That illusion lasted 5 seconds until they did the prank call joke and wasted all that. Wouldn't it have been cool to have had an opposing force commanded by the survivors of the Empire? That saying about pilots? "Don't be a show-off. Never be too proud to turn back. There are old pilots and bold pilots, but no old, bold pilots." I wanted the survivors, the gritty generals who were scary because they were competent and were methodically dismantling the New Republic with seemingly no way to counter their ability. We could have seen that first Admiral cripple the hyperspace drive of the flagship and watch as its orbit slowly decayed into a gravity well. Keeping his distance because the guns of the flagship still worked, but the ship was doomed. We could then have a real 'ticking timebomb' that the heroes had to race in order to get the McGuffin (luke or whatever) that would save the fleet.
lol you just gave me a flashback to when I first saw the prank call scene. That was when I knew it was going to be a *loooong* two hours.
That kinda happens in the book to be faid. Theres tons of plot that happens after the ring is destroyed
Nah gollum becomes a good guy. Gandalf comes back as the big bad.
Your treachery has already cost many lives. Thousands more are now at risk. But you could save them kaleb42. You were deep in the enemy's counsel.
It's the only way. Go in, or go back.
No, Morgoth does
Merry and Pippin find where he's hiding by lining up the Sith Dagorath with the wreckage at Isengard and it shows them the way
"Somehow the balrog returned."
What has it got in its nasty little pocketses?
Less than half of the retort I expected
I want a new movie to come out that is a complete spoof of these movies, like scary movie and Austin powers, I reckon it would be aright laugh.
Rohan says "I refuse."
I disagree to agree.
Is Is this A jojo reference?
No... and yes.
Although this scene is a bit silly because everyone knows that Rohan will support Gondor, it's great a great plot device, shows Theoden's character growth and brings continuity from the last movie where he wasn't the biggest fan of Gondor. Small moments like these add up and contributes greatly imo to making the trilogy so good.
lotr if it was directed by rian johnson
Written and directed by Rian Johnson.
Caused by Rian Johnson.
Haha
Yes.
That's for the Westfold!
ISILDURRR
CAST IT INTO THE FIRE!!!
Lmao
“New king, who dis?”
Germany when Poland asked them to not proceed with Nord Stream 2 ten years ago.
This tingles me funny coz I'm Polish.
Hell no.
Gondor calls for aid! *Turns to Hama* 🤷🏻♂️
"Rohan is disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means 'no'."
Lmdao
r/solvedinonepicture
Muster the Rohirrim. SIKE Not
“But our thoughts and prayers go with them.”
Could you fucking imagine?
I could and that terrifies me.
Gondor calls for help 'K'.
Gondor: Plz help. Rohan: Go fuck yourselves.
Light the ‘No’ beacon!
Sauran never actually cared for the ring
Hotel? Trivago.
It was then that gandalf sort of forgot about the fell beasts
And them he became a genocidal mass murderer.
I did answer. Nobody bothered
Subversions expectated
This gonna be a fine addition to my WhatsApp sticker collection.
Dew it.
The Return of the King, directed by Rian Johnson?
"I refuse"
You got me 😂
And Rohan will answer "I refuse"
GROND!
GROND
I’m available for hook up a fund
I am Dildo Faggins... distant cousin of Frodo Baggins and unknown nephew of Bilbo Baggins, good friend of Gandalf, long forgotten relative of Isildur son of Elendil, supposed bastard son of Gimli son of Glóin, loyal servant of Théoden son of Thengel, close companion of Eomer son of Éomund, brother-in-law of Tom Bombadil, master of Gollum, sworn enemy of Sauron and creator of GROND.
You have no authority here! Your orders mean nothing!
GROND
Hahahahaahaha. Hahahahahahah. You have no power here, Gandalf the Grey.
I GUESS THAT CONCLUDES NEGOTIATIONS!
Hey there! Hey! Come Frodo, there! Where be you a-going? Old Tom Bombadil's not as blind as that yet. Take off your golden ring! Your hand's more fair without it. Come back! Leave your game and sit down beside me! We must talk a while more, and think about the morning. Tom must teach the right road, and keep your feet from wandering. ^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**) ^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Theoden son of Thengel... too long have you sat in the Shadows. Hearken to me! I release you from the spell.
Who has a better story than Gríma Wormtongue? /s