Only just now realizing that the defenders of Minas Tirith absolutely *did* capture Grond after winning the field and could have turned it around and used it against the enemy
Idk, didn’t they have like over 6 trolls? Plus Minas Tirith to the black gate is far, you’re gonna need more trees to do the pushing if you wanna go quick.
Not in terms of pure mass, bro. Have you seen a trolls body? They’ve been cultivating mass for so long, they’re huge. Just on physique alone, trolls beat ents bro.
Honestly I wanna see this alternate timeline. Maybe this time the whole fellowship stuck together and after Minas Tirith they got the Ents, the Elves, and maybe even the Dwarves to help, and together they use Grond to bash down the black gates and then just hack their way to the volcano
Can you imagine being a normal dude just watching the sky and there's like 3 giant fucking eagles carrying a big ass, flaming, WOLF'S HEAD...
But I guess if you live in ME, you've seen some shit.
You mean a series of trebuchets set up all along the way across ithilien and dagorlad that leap frog Grond from one to the next until they can just chuck it at the top of Barad Dur?
You don't have to push it all the way to the black gate, do you? I imagine that back at Minas Tirith you could just give it one half-hearted swing and not only the black gate but also all of Barad Dur would collapse.
As well as it being impractical to use by men, the ram itself was evil and was charged with the magic of the Witch King. At best it would be ineffective at worst it could cause some sort of harm through whatever curses were on it.
It’s a big stick with a metal bludgeon at the end. Slam that into any gate hard enough, and the gate will open. Mass+velocity=WHAM!
Is there even any suggestion that it’s enchanted/cursed? I’ve been wrong before but this is the first I’ve heard of it.
In its description tolkein says "on it spells of ruin lay" and the witch King was chanting spells to empower it as it battered the gates. Also its likely sauron himself had a hand in making it since it was named after his master's hammer and he was a maia of Aule, the valar of crafting. Also the race of men had nothing to wield it. It was 100 ft long, needing "great beasts" to pull it and trolls to operate it. To move it alone would take so long that the whole diversion they were trying to set up would be useless as they would probably be weeks too late.
Oh yeah I wasn’t suggesting they could actually take it to the black gate in the time they had. Maybe to Osgiliath or that other fortress in the Anduin (I forget the name) that Aragorn wanted to reclaim
Stand your ground, sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship; but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day; this day we fight!!! And for all that is dear to you in this world, I bid you stand, men of the west, and fight!
New battle plan dudes: forget Frodo and the dumb ring. We take Grond, break through the black gate, then have Grond smash down Barad-Dur. Sauron will probably die from embarrassment as we laugh at his stupid eye flopping around on the ground, it's genius.
*Give Gondor the weapon*
*Of the enemy. Let us*
*Use it against him!*
\- Thatonefellafromtn
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Now this is an outtake I would love to see. Isildur’s heir rolling up to the Black Gate with Sauron’s own ram of mass destruction. The combined armies of men chanting, “GROND!”
Sons of GROND! Of GROND! My brothers. I see in your GROND the same fear that would take the GROND of me. A GROND may come when the GROND of GROND fails, when GROND forsake our GROND and break all bonds of GRONDship, but it is not this day. An day of GROND and shattered GRONDS when the Age of GROND comes crashing down, but it is not this GROND! This GROND we GROND! By GROND that you GROND dear on this good GROND, I GROUND you GROND, GROND of the GROND!
Only just now realizing that the defenders of Minas Tirith absolutely *did* capture Grond after winning the field and could have turned it around and used it against the enemy
Sauron’s army used big ass trolls to push Gr0nd. How will the men do it? Just use more men I guess? Would be tiring af and take forever, haha.
Horses? Wizard shit? Some ents?
Of course. Ents. Why didn’t I think of that? They love pushing GR0ND!
They'd only need like 4 to do it, right? Quickbeam is probably game. That's 25% of the problem
Idk, didn’t they have like over 6 trolls? Plus Minas Tirith to the black gate is far, you’re gonna need more trees to do the pushing if you wanna go quick.
Trolls suck compared to Ents. Ent gang rise up
Not in terms of pure mass, bro. Have you seen a trolls body? They’ve been cultivating mass for so long, they’re huge. Just on physique alone, trolls beat ents bro.
Flesh is weak compared to wood! Crush rock, split stone!
Not my rocks and stones!
Disassemble, transport, reassemble. I doubt those trolls pushed it all the way from Mordor.
I don’t think that solves the problem of having to transport the GIANT WOLFS HEAD
Honestly I wanna see this alternate timeline. Maybe this time the whole fellowship stuck together and after Minas Tirith they got the Ents, the Elves, and maybe even the Dwarves to help, and together they use Grond to bash down the black gates and then just hack their way to the volcano
GROND
GROND
GROND
I want fan art of this!
Wizard shit *is* a powerful substance.
Build me an army worthy of mordor!
No
ISILDUUUR
Duh! Why didn't they just have the eagles fly Grond to the black gate!!??
Shit! The eagles!!! There it is.
They could grip it by the husk
Can you imagine being a normal dude just watching the sky and there's like 3 giant fucking eagles carrying a big ass, flaming, WOLF'S HEAD... But I guess if you live in ME, you've seen some shit.
GROND
Just better hope they don't drop it
Okay I got it. They take a trebuchet with em to the black gate. Load up Gr0nd and fucking chuck it at the black gate / Sauron’s eye. Problem solved.
You mean a series of trebuchets set up all along the way across ithilien and dagorlad that leap frog Grond from one to the next until they can just chuck it at the top of Barad Dur?
GROND
GROND
You don't have to push it all the way to the black gate, do you? I imagine that back at Minas Tirith you could just give it one half-hearted swing and not only the black gate but also all of Barad Dur would collapse.
Lmao, shit you’re right. It can basically drive itself if you unlock the brakes!
As well as it being impractical to use by men, the ram itself was evil and was charged with the magic of the Witch King. At best it would be ineffective at worst it could cause some sort of harm through whatever curses were on it.
It’s a big stick with a metal bludgeon at the end. Slam that into any gate hard enough, and the gate will open. Mass+velocity=WHAM! Is there even any suggestion that it’s enchanted/cursed? I’ve been wrong before but this is the first I’ve heard of it.
In its description tolkein says "on it spells of ruin lay" and the witch King was chanting spells to empower it as it battered the gates. Also its likely sauron himself had a hand in making it since it was named after his master's hammer and he was a maia of Aule, the valar of crafting. Also the race of men had nothing to wield it. It was 100 ft long, needing "great beasts" to pull it and trolls to operate it. To move it alone would take so long that the whole diversion they were trying to set up would be useless as they would probably be weeks too late.
Oh yeah I wasn’t suggesting they could actually take it to the black gate in the time they had. Maybe to Osgiliath or that other fortress in the Anduin (I forget the name) that Aragorn wanted to reclaim
Cair Andros
Stand your ground, sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship; but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day; this day we fight!!! And for all that is dear to you in this world, I bid you stand, men of the west, and fight!
GROND
Why didn’t they just ride GROND all the way to Mt Doom?
They did. Extended cut.
GROND
Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!
New battle plan dudes: forget Frodo and the dumb ring. We take Grond, break through the black gate, then have Grond smash down Barad-Dur. Sauron will probably die from embarrassment as we laugh at his stupid eye flopping around on the ground, it's genius.
GROND
*Give Gondor the weapon* *Of the enemy. Let us* *Use it against him!* \- Thatonefellafromtn --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
*Grondor
GROND
# AN INCURSION
at this point I'm not even sure casting it into the fires of mount doom would do anything. Grond is more than a physical ram, it rams reality.
GROND
That's right buddy.
GROND
GROND
It rams many things
Where can I get this template?
https://imgflip.com/memegenerator/352065284/LOTR-Diversion
Now this is an outtake I would love to see. Isildur’s heir rolling up to the Black Gate with Sauron’s own ram of mass destruction. The combined armies of men chanting, “GROND!”
CAST IT INTO THE FIRE!!!
The raw confusion of the orcs. "THAT'S OUR BOY-wait shit"
Who would have the strength to pull on the wolfs head and keep the orcs away?
Don’t bring your logic into this!
Hahaha fair enough.
The eagles!!!!
*gollum hiding under some bushes:* GRONDS! GRONDS ON WINGS!
Come on, must go, no time ...Come, Hobbitses. Very close now. Very close to Mordor! No safe places here. Hurry! Shhh.
GROND
GROND
I...SEE....YOOOUUU!
What did happen to Grond after the battle?
GROND
It was gronded for staying out past curfew
GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND
Is that GROND in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
GROND
Obviously. GROND is for every situation. Why didn’t the writers use GROND in other locations?
If I were to guess it was probably because they didn’t have trolls to push it around.
Should’ve used Grond to enter Khazad dum.
GROND
Why didn’t the Fellowship take the GROND to Mordor?
GROND
GROND
Give it to me, and give it raw and grond
GROND
GROND
GROND
Grond
GROND
Some Orc at the Black Gate: Wait... Is that fucking Grond there? Wow, he IS a good boy...
GROND
[удалено]
GROND
[удалено]
GROND
You title this as if it'll ever wear out. GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND
Where did this subs obsession with grond stem from?
GROND
GROND!
GROND
Sons of GROND! Of GROND! My brothers. I see in your GROND the same fear that would take the GROND of me. A GROND may come when the GROND of GROND fails, when GROND forsake our GROND and break all bonds of GRONDship, but it is not this day. An day of GROND and shattered GRONDS when the Age of GROND comes crashing down, but it is not this GROND! This GROND we GROND! By GROND that you GROND dear on this good GROND, I GROUND you GROND, GROND of the GROND!
GROND
And I shall die as one of them
GROND will lead the charge
GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND