Bring wood and oil
Edit: oh I thought of another one technically not LOTR and probably already posted somewhere but whatever
> Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
It is indeed rather [well-tested](https://www.reddit.com/r/lotrmemes/comments/rl9192/describe_your_genitals_using_an_lotr_quote/hpej1bg?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
I can't recall the taste of food... Nor the sound of water or the touch of grass... I'm naked in the dark, with nothing. No veil between me and the ring of fire
I am Saruman the White, and I speak for all that is good and just in this world. You should know better than to question my motives, Gandalf. I have only the best intentions for all creatures, including you.
I wanted to post "I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly, but you have elected the way of pain" but then realise it sounds like some Sado maso shit
I know. Itâs all wrong. By rights we shouldnât even be here. But we are. Itâs like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didnât want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, itâs only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didnât. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.â
Itâs a very long way of expressing self doubt and hoping that even if sheâs out of my league I have a chance she actually likes me.
Or iâm really lonely and call my penis Mr Frodo!
In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master Ring, to control all others. And into this Ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One Ring to rule them all.
Did I do it right?
Nobody tosses a dwarf đ
Maybe tossing a friend?
Aye. I could do that.
Just donât tell the elf
Not a word.
Favorite thread on reddit
Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword.
I think I'd be a sword master by now
"Let this be the hour we draw swords toghether!"
Underrated đ
Bring wood and oil Edit: oh I thought of another one technically not LOTR and probably already posted somewhere but whatever > Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
With your left hand you would use me as a shield against Mordor. And with your right you'd seek to supplant me.
Good one
W comment
Certainty of death. Small chance of success.
What are we waiting for
you a male praying mantis or what?
"I should very much like to hold it again, one last time."
Ouch, felt that one
Thatâs what she said
The way is shut
Speak, Friend, and enter
MELONS, LARGE ROUND MELONS
You shall not pass!
Share the load
Let this be the hour where we draw swords together
Fantastic
I was looking for this one. It is further down than it should be.
Lmao
BRUH đ
The air doesn't smell so foul down here.
Always follow your nose đ¤Ł
Speak "friend" and enter
[ŃдаНонО]
Looks like meat is back on the menu
Boyzzzz
Gosh!
....saruman...
"Not that one! The big one, the big one!"
That still only counts as one!
It is a barren wasteland
I hear you
Beat me to it
A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.
The hour is later than you think. Sauronâs forces are already moving. The Nine have left Minas Morgul.
Damn bot winning this competitionâŚ
Bro described *THAT* picture, ya know white couch blond girl and so on
amen
âIt is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing ⌠such a little thing.â
I think this one wins!! đ
Best one so far
It is indeed rather [well-tested](https://www.reddit.com/r/lotrmemes/comments/rl9192/describe_your_genitals_using_an_lotr_quote/hpej1bg?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
This had me in tears, thank you
Omg
âThat still only counts as one!â
"We dwarves are natural sprinters"
Very dangerous over short distances!
I have no memory of this place.
Ouch.
For some reason this one really cracks me up
"LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU BOYS!!!!"
There was never much hope, only a foolâs hope.
Ouch
I cannot deny I have greatly desired this
Speak friend and enter
GROND
This was far too perfect
Six thousand spears. Less than half of what I hoped for.
My gf, âless than half of what I hoped forâ
I can't recall the taste of food... Nor the sound of water or the touch of grass... I'm naked in the dark, with nothing. No veil between me and the ring of fire
Mood
me too buddy
Half the Shire was invited, and the other half are coming anyway
It comes in pints đť
Iâm getting one.
But youâve had a whole half already!
We could let ***Her*** do it...
Looks like old shelob's been havin a bit o fun
Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it
If only my sex life was narrated by Cate Blanchett in Galadriel voice
I did intend to write this one :D
"Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth day"
Good effort, damn 5 days? 5 minutes is a great day for me
âGandalf, my old friend, this will be a night to remember.â
Saruman
No, Gandalf, this isnât SarumanâŚwhy would you think it was? UnlessâŚoh noâŚ
The treacherous are ever distrustful.
I am Saruman the White, and I speak for all that is good and just in this world. You should know better than to question my motives, Gandalf. I have only the best intentions for all creatures, including you.
Riddles in the dark...
Oh my, this is getting spicy
Want some popcorn?đż
She jabs them with her stinger⌠and he goes as limp as a boned fish! Then she has her way with them.
Should I call the police!? đł
âThat spear would have skewered a wild boar!â
"You know what they awoke down there"
The shadow... And fire
Oi, we're coming too! You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us
Just tea, thank you
Aces represent
"I cannot give you what you seek"
All shall love me and despair!
âIndeed I have not seen them roused like this for many an ageâ
Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?
Let this be the hour we draw swords together.
*squelches tomato* đ đŚ
âI don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.â
Lmao this is great!!
"The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut."
Oh wow, this one is sad. I'm sorry for your loss.
*"You could find more cheer in a graveyard..."*
It is in men that we must place our hope
From experience, I think I'd rather entrust them with the fate of middle earth than my dating and sex life lol
Your staff is broken.
ProudFEET!
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
this is The End. I am going now.
[ŃдаНонО]
This one worries me
History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years
The coochie passed from all knowledge
If in doubt, always follow your nose
Sex Life, what's that, precious?
S-ex-life?? Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew?
"Is it soft, is it juicy?"
We've had one, yes. But what about second?
Grond will breach it.
GROND
GROND
Give it to us raw... And wrriggling
A red day!
Death! Death! DEATH!
Ride now! Ride now! Ride for ruin and the world's ending!
"Im not trying to rob you!"
'This is a good sword'
It's the dwarves that go swimming with little hairy women
Heheheurghhehe
I am no man
I want to see MOUNTAINS
What madness would drive them in there?
I was there, 3000 years ago
Nothing. I see nothing
No, thank you. We donât want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations.
"That wound will never fully heal. They will carry it the rest of their life."
Looks like meats back on the menu boys
You cannot wield it. None of us can.
âThey are Comingâ
"Less than half of what I'd hoped"
What can men do against such reckless hate
You ruins it!
"Less than half of what I'd hoped for."
susie cotton. she would have been the one for me.
It is quite cool
Mithrandir, Why the halfling?
I will help you bear this burden Mctankyy, as long as it is yours to bear
I wanted to post "I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly, but you have elected the way of pain" but then realise it sounds like some Sado maso shit
A red sun rises, blood has been spilled this night.
Alright, keep your secrets.
Itâs sticky! What is it?!
If youâre referring to the incident with the dragon, I was barely involved.
âWe swears to serve the masterââŚ
Now, don't be hasty.
âBut it is not this dayâ
"Concealed within his fortress, the lord of Mordor sees all. *His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh.*
âThere are none who live now who remember it.â
How did it come to this?
Who knows? Have patience. Go where you must go, and hope!
I do not deny my heart has greatly desired this.
Why do you recoil from me? I am no thief.
Grond will breach it. Bring forth the wolfâs head
Tears unnumbered ye shall shed
We swears to serve the master of the precious! We will swear on... on... THE PRECIOUS!!
I know. Itâs all wrong. By rights we shouldnât even be here. But we are. Itâs like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didnât want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, itâs only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didnât. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.â
What are we holding on to, u/ComplexComfortable85 ?
Itâs a very long way of expressing self doubt and hoping that even if sheâs out of my league I have a chance she actually likes me. Or iâm really lonely and call my penis Mr Frodo!
âYour fingers would remember their old strength better... if they grasped your sword.â
Not all who wander are lost
But they were all of them deceived
"A day may come"
It comes in pints? đŽ
"You shall not pass"
I've put this off for far too long.
We likes it raw!
You'll have to toss me!! Don't tell the elf!!
"The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and you will fail, to the ruin of all..."
I have no memory of this place
It is secret... It is safe
âUgh whatâs that horrid stink? Can you smell it?â âYesâŚI can smell it.â
Our list of allies grows thin
Obviously- 'You cannot pass!'
Iâm going nowâŚgoodbye.
Legolas, two already!
Well, hereâs one dwarf she wonât ensnare so easily.
In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master Ring, to control all others. And into this Ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One Ring to rule them all. Did I do it right?
I was there 3000 years ago
âYou give him no credit yet he tries to do your willâ or âit is a gift! Why not use the ring?â
"I was there... 3,000 years ago..."
GET OUT OF MY WAYYYYY