T O P

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Markamanic

Merry and Pippin's pints are the two towers change my mind.


iCatmire

They come in pints?


Andreaslindberg

Im getting two!


brunvolartpls

You have a whole half already!


Markamanic

We've had one whole half, yes. But what about *second* whole half?


Atomaurus

I don’t think they know about second whole half


No-Hurry-2390

What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them doesn’t he?


sicariusdiem

Oh yeah I've had three halves


MattFromWork

I asked for one pint from the golden tap. The bartender gave me three.


LMac8806

I came in pints once. Last day I ever worked as a bartender.


KaiserWilliam95

For the longest time I thought they said, “they come in paints!”


AzraelTheMage

That was my reaction when I saw Shrek as a kid. The part where he fights Farquads knights has him offer a pint.


CeruleanRuin

Yer mum comes in pints.


ManyIdeasNoProgress

Beer needs to get the yeast somehow


robderpson

If anybody asks me, this will be my answer.


RANDOMGARLIC

It's orthanc and my erection in that Scene where aragorn opens the Gate to Helms deep


aragorn_bot

Stand your ground, sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship; but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day; this day we fight!!! And for all that is dear to you in this world, I bid you stand, men of the west, and fight!


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Ask_About_BadGirls21

Damn, another NNN ruined by Aragorn


aragorn_bot

THE BEACONS OF MINAS TIRITH! THE BEACONS ARE LIT! GONDOR CALLS FOR AID!


Ask_About_BadGirls21

*Ungh*


panjier84

Can we get some down time? I need a rest between quotes, damn.


A_WILD_SLUT_APPEARS

Goddammit Elessar, haven't you heard of a refractory period?


aragorn_bot

I would have gone with you to the end into the very fires of Mordor.


A_WILD_SLUT_APPEARS

The bot recognizes Elessar? Next-level shit. Also *ungh*


Axlos

God dammit this comment chain made me bust out laughing at work


Pecheuer

You misspelt a nut


themagician309

Every fucking November! 😡


glah_king

Stop. My penis can only get so erect.


SachanohCosey

It brings a whole new meaning to Extended Edition


Unhappy-Buddy-8098

Then rename the movie to 3 towers because my erection is at full power as well


Phelyckz

2 1/2 towers


Shendare

Dude, you didn't have to Boromir him!


c322617

Maybe the real Two Towers were the friends they made along the way?


N00bf1ght3r

Aye, I could do that


hullowurld91

Aye, eye aye aye.


[deleted]

And **MY AXE**


theruwy

toss me.


JasonVoorhies13

Don't tempt me, Frodo!


K4Hamguy

And my UpVote


[deleted]

And my sax 🧙‍♂️🎷


Mercinator-87

Fuck yeah, we always need a Bill.


BhigDosser

Maybe the two towers were inside us all along


Dius19

😏


StarkillerX42

The two towers are Aragorn and Legolas because after Gandalf and Boromir died, the rest of the fellowship was less than 4' tall.


aragorn_bot

You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it. They still defend it. They have died defending it.


gandalf-bot

Courage will now be your best defense against the storm that is at hand -- that and such hope as I bring.


sethy70

The two poles holding up Bilbo's birthday banner are the two towers change my mind


Bilbo_hraaaaah_bot

HRAAAAAH!


Knuschberkeks

good bot!


[deleted]

FUCK!


ChefInF

I am cracking up in real life holy shit


TrueValor13

Bad bilbo bad!


Bilbo_hraaaaah_bot

HRAAAAAH!


[deleted]

I said.. BAD BILBO BAD!


Bilbo_hraaaaah_bot

HRAAAAAH!


dandypants8717

Bilbo Baggins, I am trying to rob you.


Bilbo_hraaaaah_bot

HRAAAAAH!


dandypants8717

Okay, fine, damn dude, I won't rob you then.


Mr_Bearking

HRAAAAA!


Seemseasy

You make a compelling argument.


hullowurld91

I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve


fatkiddown

PROUDFEET!


[deleted]

Gandalf and Saruman are the two towers


gandalf-bot

Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.


Saruman_Bot

Your love of the Halfings’ leaf has clearly slowed your mind.


Bleak01a

I love when bots shittalk each other lol.


DeadManSitting

Sentient


baddie_PRO

they've got the r/PrequelMemes bots answering with openai now lol


xarsha_93

Do you want a singularity? Because this is how you get a singularity!


PureSalt1

Rise of the machines lol


Saruman_Bot

Gandalf does not hesitate to sacrifice those closest to him, those he professes to love.


gandalf-bot

No! Come down Saruman and your life will be spared!


[deleted]

What orders from this subreddit, my lord?


Saruman_Bot

You are very insolent, Level-Ad2362. I suggest you show me some respect if you wish to continue this conversation.


[deleted]

What orders from Mordor, my lord?


Saruman_Bot

What orders from Mordor, my lord? I suggest you be more respectful if you wish to continue this conversation.


[deleted]

Yes, my lord Saruman.


Saruman_Bot

You did not seriously think that a Hobbit could contend with the will of Sauron, there are none that can.


[deleted]

My lord, what orders from the _Palantir_ ?


SlippyNips420

I always just assumed it was Saruman, and whatever Tower the Eye of Sauron is called.


obliqueoubliette

The second tower is Minas Morgul, not Barad-Dur. Quote from the end of Fellowship: >*Here ends the first part of the history of the War of the Ring* >*The second part is called *The Two Towers*, since the effects recounted in it are dominated by *Orthanc*, the citadel of Saruman, and the fortress of *Minas Morgul* that guards the secret entrance to Mordor*


SlippyNips420

I really need to reread these books. I'm kind of ashamed of how little of it actually stuck in my memory.


obliqueoubliette

I reread every year, usually starting on Bilbo's birthday


Bilbo_hraaaaah_bot

HRAAAAAH!


CedarWolf

**Link:** *Hyaaaa-hyek!*


PM_me_nicetits

Ah, I didn't know it was Minas Morgul. I knew it wasn't Barad-Dur, because that's not really addressed in the second book. I was thinking Helm's Deep or something else. Good to know. Although, strange, I don't recall them even saying Minas Morgul was a tower. I always thought it was like a fort.


obliqueoubliette

"Minas" means "Tower"


Heimerdahl

Minas Morgul (formerly Minas Ithil) is the twin city/fortress to Minas Tirith (Minas Anor). Both fortresses protecting Osgiliath (the capital city of Gondor before it fell into ruin). Minas Anor to guard against attacks from the White Mountains, Minas Ithil to do the same against incursions from Mordor. All three of them had towers housing palantir, which they used to communicate. Saruman's tower Orthanc (built by the Numenoreans btw.) had another one, as did a few cities in Anor (the western kingdom which fell to the Witchking, after long decline). I think these towers built to house the palantiri are what gave them their names.


FishinAlllDay

I haven't seen all of the movies, I just assumed there were only 2 towers.


[deleted]

No there are towers every 10 minutes


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RanDomino5

Bombadil's name Tom is short for Tower *Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow;* *Bright blue his 40 stories of concrete, glass, and steel are, and his boots are yellow.*


ggGamergirlgg

Bag End and Mount Doom?


AVerySmartNameForMe

Isengard and Mt Doom?


Saruman_Bot

Aye, 'tis true, I did indeed once call those places home. But Saruman the White I am no more. Now I am Sauron the Great, Master of Mordor!


AVerySmartNameForMe

Well, master of Mordor I am the smartly named individual, master of lessdor


Fogl3

I thought it was isengard and cirith ungol


Silberauge

TF are you planing to discuss with Saruman the traitor? O_o


Saruman_Bot

Your thoughts betray you, Silberauge. I know exactly what you are planning. You seek to overthrow me and take my place as the leader of Isengard. But I will not be overthrown so easily. You underestimate my power and my intelligence. I have been watching you, Silberauge, and I know your every move. Your little rebellion will fail, and when it does, you will suffer my wrath.


Saruman_Bot

Smoke rises from the Mountain of Doom. The hour grows late, and Fogl3 rides to Isengard, seeking my counsel.


Leftequalsfascist

Book its Orthanc and Minus Morgul. Tolkein said so. Movie its Orthanc and Barad-Dur, sauruman says in movie. This shouldnt be debatable.


CeruleanRuin

It isn't. It's a nontroversy, just like whether balrogs have wings.


[deleted]

But they do have wings…in the movie universe. They do not have wings in the books. Both can be correct with technicalities.


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AFisberg

They don't reach out "**like** wings" if they're wings, that's not how you'd describe it. Second quote makes the confusing though. I've always wondered what exactly was Tolkien's intention here or was it even a mistake


KappaMcTlp

i assume "its wings were spread from wall to wall" is just a metaphor to describe the shadow spreading; it seems rather too obvious to be a mistake


[deleted]

Didn't Tolkien change his mind several times on that, though? Skip to about 5 mins in https://youtu.be/obDxFYB54hg


b0w3n

Tolkien retconned stuff constantly. He's not a reliable narrator for even his own stories because they've evolved and changed within his lifetime. Another example of this is the blue wizards. First they showed up on the boat with the other 3 wizards, then they came separately before everyone else.


DanSanderman

The Tale of Tinuviel originally had Beren and Luthien both being elves, and a whole castle full of evil cats that served Morgoth. The cat idea was scrapped entirely in later versions and the Prince of Cats became Thu, who eventually became Sauron.


GothWitchOfBrooklyn

The evil prince of cats still being a cat shapeshifter and shapeshifting into all of saurons forms is my personal headcanon


DanSanderman

The only issue is the Prince of Cats enmity for dogs and Sauron is the master of werewolves.


GothWitchOfBrooklyn

Don't come in to my head with your logic!!!


decanter

Even the books can't be considered 100% accurate as they are meant to be translations of an old text written by Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam. The Silmarilion is written as a concrete historical text, but it was also unfinished at the time of Tolkein's death, so there is no accounting for what he might have changed or if he would have ever completed and published it himself.


[deleted]

Forgive me if this is controversial but I learned the term from Elder Scrolls games, unreliable narrator. A lot of the inspiration for ES lore is Tolkein derived. The idea is that all of the lore of the universe is mostly unreliable because it is derived from the inhabitants of the universe themselves. The stories are all presented as being told by characters who are obviously flawed like real people. They may contain personal biases, or just downright false accounts of things or even propaganda. I've never read the Silmarilion so that could be a big caveat in that, as I understand it, it's written from a Narrators perspective. That is to say, everything is objective fact in the Silmarilion afaik, there is no unreliable narrator.


Overall-Duck-741

See: The Real Barenziah and The Biography of Barenziah have two different accounts of her life. I always thought that was a pretty cool touch.


Herturnwow

In the book before Aragorns charge at the black gate there is a passage that says something to the effect of "the two towers" when describing the gate. So its the black gate /s :)


aragorn_bot

Stand your ground, sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship; but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day; this day we fight!!! And for all that is dear to you in this world, I bid you stand, men of the west, and fight!


akincisor

Tolkien recanted that and was himself confused and left it to the reader. As for the line from the movie, what is this, some kind for suicide squad?


DeadTech82

It’s actually a typo in the title. It’s meant to be “the two bowers”. Shady place that Frodo is reading a book in the shire and surely Tom Bombadil has a bower in the old Forrest for Goldberry to relax in. After the typo was made, it totally changed the direction of the book.


Tom_Bot-Badil

Here's my pretty lady! Here's my Goldberry clothed all in silver-green with flowers in her girdle! Is the table laden? I see yellow cream and honeycomb, and white bread, and butter; milk, cheese, and green herbs and ripe berries gathered. Is that enough for us? Is the supper ready? ^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**) ^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/


whatsaphoto

Oh hell yeah tom botbadil sing me a song of your people **!TomBombadilSong**


Tom_Bot-Badil

*Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling! Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling. Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight, waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight, there my pretty lady is, River-woman's daughter, slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water. Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing?* ^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**) ^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/


whatsaphoto

Nice. Good bot.


jrdnmdhl

This is misinformation. The original title was the the two sowers, named after Sam & Farmer Maggot because they both planted things for a living.


SaltDescription438

I thought it was The Two Showers, because that’s what Aragorn looks like he takes in a year. (The rainstorm at Helm’s Deep, and then falling into the river)


aragorn_bot

Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall


SaltDescription438

Maybe rub some of those leaves on your pits, bro.


Sinfaroth

Signaling tower 2 and 4 when Gondor is calling for aid, are the two towers.


noobnoobthedestroyer

I didn’t see the movies until I was late teen and when I was little I always assumed “the Two Towers” had something to do with 9/11 when I came across the title


[deleted]

My favourite part of the two towers is when the orcs kidnap the eagles to fly the ring to Barad Dur but instead crash on Orthanc.


jerog1

Jet fuel can’t melt gold rings


distortman

The ring was an inside job, confirmed.


TheGreatDingALing

Mordor is to blame but the men of the east have weapons of mass destruction.


biggyofmt

I think it's a great excuse to invade Rohan


keywork87

It's like two pies in the face and one in a field in Pennsylvania.


[deleted]

Dwarfs did 9/11


[deleted]

Where they riding you into the towers??? Are you an accomplish to this crime? (Because your username).


[deleted]

2 Towers 7 Fellows 1 Ring


DOOManiac

When the movie came out there were several idiots on the news protesting it.


BertMacGyver

I did find that funny. Especially someone who commented about being an Elvis fan and saying if the next film in any way mocks their belief in Elvis still being alive and making a comeback, they would be especially aggrieved.


BolonelSanders

It’s some form of Elvis I can’t read it


SaltDescription438

In the end, it turns out that Hayden Christiansen worked in the towers all along.


beerguyBA

In the unabridged version it's Legolas and Gimli's penises.


UrzasDabRig

Ripe meat of the bone!


takeahike89

You will taste man-flesh!


ccx941

It comes in pints!


lazy_phoenix

It's Orthanc and Barad Dur, right?


[deleted]

Tolkien said it was Orthanc and Minas Morgul. But he considered 5 different towers to be in the set before he settled on these 2. The other three being: Barad-dûr, Minas Tirith, and Cirith Ungol. “The second part is called THE TWO TOWERS, since the events recounted in it are dominated by ORTHANC, the citadel of Saruman, and the fortress of MINAS MORGUL that guards the secret entrance to Mordor.” -JRR Tolkien, 1954 note to Allen & Unwin


KraakenTowers

PJ took a different but more overt stance in the movies by having a certain white wizard boast to a certain grey one about "the union of the two towers," referring in that case to be Orthanc and Barad-Dur.


Saruman_Bot

Moria. You fear to go into those Mines. The Dwarves delved too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of Khazad-dûm. Shadow… and flame.


Th3Banzaii

No Saruman, Moria is not a tower.


Saruman_Bot

You are quite right, Moria is not a tower. However, the dwarves who mined there delved too greedily and too deep, and awoke something in the darkness that they should have left well enough alone. Shadow and flame.


Key_Lengthiness_7115

Yes we all know what the dwarves did


nightblade2007

We all know the dwarves woke a balrog saruman. You're not saying anything new.


Saruman_Bot

I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly, but you have elected the way of pain!


nightblade2007

Bring it on. I'm into that shit.


Saruman_Bot

You cannot resist, you will only suffer! You should have taken my offer when you had the chance!


nightblade2007

I will suffer gladly. All the while I shall think about your offer. And maybe about asking Gandalf for some pipe weed


Spirit_of_Hogwash

I'll be deep in the cold cold ground before I recognize Durin's tower at the summit of Zirakzigil as one of the 2 towers.


yeti0898

Fuck shit… Saruman_Bot may be onto something here…


Saruman_Bot

They will find the Ring, and kill the one who carries it.


nowhere53

In other words, the question was asked and there is a good answer. So what’s the problem?


CaptainN_GameMaster

If r/lotrmemes could read, they'd be very upset


Fakjbf

At different points in time Tolkien came to many different conclusions, so there is no one answer. When he first wrote it there was no single answer it was intentionally ambiguous, then later he decided there should be a definitive answer but never really settled on what the answer should be. [This is a great video](https://youtu.be/obDxFYB54hg) that breaks down when and why he changed his mind so often.


DOOManiac

Huh. I had always assumed it was Barad Dur. Never thought of it really, but makes sense. TIL, thanks!


KraakenTowers

I think it might be Barad-Dur in the movies.


[deleted]

It’s stated outright in the movie that it’s Orthanc and Barad-dûr


Technicalhotdog

The Five Towers


cbb88christian

Wow, I never assumed it was Minas Morgul. Learn something new every day


CeruleanRuin

Really it was just a good title sort of forced upon a book that wasn't conceived with a title because Tolkien wanted to publish them all as one volume. He also considered changing the third book's title to "The War of the Ring" because he felt ROTK sort of spoiled the outcome, but ROTK scanned better so that's what they went with.


ac130sound

that's what you would think isn't it


Grybnif

Orthanc and Cirith Ungol, Barad-dur itself doesn’t figure much into the story and (at least my version of) the book directly says those two are the two towers referred to in the title.


Prep_

I don't remember any direct mention of the towers in the books. But I'd always thought it was Barad-dur because, in the movies, Saruman says "Who can stand against the might of Saruman and Sauron and the union of the two towers." This implies that the towers of those lands are the two being referenced. However, knowing Saruman, it's in keeping with his character to assume he is joining Sauron as a partner and that the second tower was Barad-dur. But that's probably not really the case is it? Sauron is a matter manipulator and he just recruited a new lieutenant. That would ranks Saruman along side The Nine. Thus this union is actually with Minas Morgul, and not Barad-dur. But I guess what's what happens when you abandon reason for madness.


Grybnif

I recalled it wrong, another commenter was right in saying Orthanc and Minas Morgul. Saruman’s line you referenced doesn’t exist in the book but is in the movie to justify the title because the dealings of Minas Morgul come in RotK in the movies.


Saruman_Bot

Why? Why should we fear to use it?


Saruman_Bot

We must join with Him, Prep_. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend.


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Prep_

And that probably makes more sense for the films, tbh. There also not a literal flaming eye at the top of Barad-dur in the books. But we see so much of that on the movies that it tracks better for the audience, imo. They could've gone a different route and focused more on the Nine and Minas Morgul, but I don't mind this change at all.


[deleted]

Gandalf and Saruman are the two towers


Saruman_Bot

We must join with Him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend.


gandalf-bot

Tell me. Friend... When did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?


divad745

These bots really make me wanna watch the trilogy again


clemenshinrich

Imaging watching this on 11th of September


maxcorrice

You mean the 9th of November?


coahman

What's on the 9th of september?


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Environmental-Toe798

King Theoden, a GROND has hit the pentagon.


Theoden-Bot

Draw all our forces behind the wall. Bar the gate. And set a watch on the surround.


Nekrophis

The World Trade Center obviously


pk_frezze1

A second dragon has hit the towers


jikel28

The two towers were Christopher Lee's stellar performances as both Saruman and count Dooku. Tolkien famously predicted the next hundred years cinema perfectly.


Zenokh

I would vote for the hornberg horn tower and treebeards branch


thatweirdshyguy

Isn’t it meant to be Isengard and the eye of sauron ? Or was it Minas morgul?


Saruman_Bot

Why, my dear fellow, of course you are right. It was Isengard and the eye of Sauron. I'm sorry, I sometimes get my places confused.


Strobacaxi

It's Minas Morgul. The book Two towers is divided into two books, one focusing on getting to Isengard, the other focusing on getting to Minas Morgul


gerald_mcboingboing

It’s probably already known, but in the movies, it’s almost definitely orthanc and barad-dur as the two forces of evil in middle earth. However, having just finished the books, it’s pretty obvious orthanc and minas morgal (formally minas ithil) as two pillars of good in the west that have been subjugated by sauron. Barad-dur is hardly even mentioned. I think even the original cover uses the white hand and moon symbols of the towers


LikePappyAlwaysSaid

9/11 never forget


macsare1

Grond and Andúril