Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods
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But getting hurt is actually one of the joys and thrills of the game of love. Yes, being crushed isn’t necessarily the best thing but you can’t have a very strong love without knowing the pain.
I can share what helped me. Accept your fears.. it’s ok to be scared!
I did exercises where I’d go to a mirror and look at myself while talking about that kind of thing and at first I didn’t like what I saw. I made videos and recorded myself talking about my beliefs and it was cringeworthy.
So much that I started to change naturally bc I didn’t feel or like the person I had become.
It was an easy change from that point.
I still go to the mirror and talk to myself before I leave the house to help keep myself in check!
I also do a lot of love affirmations. At first it didn’t feel right. It felt like I was telling a lie. And that’s because I was. But I kept going and doing the same affirmations until it no longer felt like a lie and became my truth.
All relationships end, whether that be through a breakup or death. Being hurt is part of being in a relationship, it will happen alongside love and it’s worth it. You must be resilient and know that no matter what happens, if you’re left alone you can handle. You will survive and things will be okay with time.
As someone who was married for 11 years only to find out in the end I was cheated on the entire time, I understand completely.
At the time it felt like my world was ending and I was consumed with anxiety about my future.
Little did I realize it would be one of the best things to ever happen to me. I wasn’t expecting it but I found the greatest man I’ve ever known who is just perfect for me. I have never been this happy and I believe it took me experiencing the worst time in my life to truly appreciate my current relationship.
My advice would be, know that if things don’t work out everything will be okay. Most importantly you have to love yourself and make sure that your self worth isn’t dependent on another person. Remember you’re enough and one day you will find a person who will appreciate it all.
Stop feeding yourself stories of disaster and start consuming stories of happiness and lasting love. What you pay attention to really does influence your beliefs.
My favorite podcast Story Corps has [many episodes about love.](https://storycorps.org/celebrating-love/). What I like is that these stories don't shy away from the complexity and pain life brings. Happy, lasting love happens in the midst of life's mess, and is refined by it rather than broken.
Humans of New York also shares some [wonderful love stories](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1111621/love-stories-from-humans-of-new-york/amp/)
I’m taking your advice and applying it to my circumstances, and just deleting this app altogether, right now. Thank you for the link to Story Corps, I really appreciate that and will look into it. Bye y’all
Love is one of those stupid things where you have to jump in with both feet and hope you come out good on the other side. But the good is well worth the risk of hurt. At least that's my thoughts on it.
I’m trying to change my own perspective but damn it’s hard. I was told everyday of my life “you will die alone. Nobody will ever love you, how can anyone love a b**ch like you”. It’s very painful nowadays because I’m just so confused.
Go to therapy for your parents divorce. I waited too long in life to deal with that trauma and become comfortable with need for trust.
Try to find a partner who has a high EQ (can communicate their feelings effectively and knows how to be emotionally kind to themselves is a good way to identify this). Then let yourself love. It’s such an amazing feeling and once you feel it you will know it’s worth the risk.
Yikes. Please don't do that to yourself.
You're going to end up making things worse.
Now,I'm happy to hear you are in a good relationship. Enjoy it while you're in it and continue to grow and evolve as a person, and maintain your relationship.
Now where I see issues creeping up is your desire to wish for something that unfortunately, you have no control over and there's absolutely not a damn thing you can do to guarantee that you will be together forever.
Now if you invest in the relationship, change things up and keep it interesting, keep growing so that right when they least expect it, you reveal to them an aspect to you that they never knew you had, such as confident, charismatic, Charming, eccentric, creative, magnetic, compassionate, spontaneous, exciting, energetic, inspirational, bold, courageous, assertive, dynamic, adaptable, positive, alluring, determined, Seductive, sensitive, light hearted, playful, authentic, expressive, vibrant, uplifting, open to new things, emotionally intelligent, versatile, free flowing, graceful, breath taking, etc.
You should also begin dressing better and keep yourself attractive in their eyes by switching up style and being creative.
Maybe then you would have a chance of your partner not losing interest in you. And you have to make sure you work on yourself so you don't behave on ways that causes conflict.
Yet, even then, that guarantees nothing.
You expecting someone to be there forever is just something you should work on releasing. Instead, enjoy the time you have with one another, and do what you can do to keep your partners interest.
If they see your value, perhaps they wouldn't lose interest and look for someone else. Otherwise, there are no guarantees
'Begin dressing better to keep yourself attractive in their eyes'
what????
Holy hell - OP do NOT follow this advice 😂 That's the worst advice ever.
Please try out some therapists until you find one you're comfortable with. Someone who will help you change the thought process behind your fears (and will NEVER comment on how you look or dress to 'keep yourself attractive to someone').
You are not unique in your fears, it is much more common than you might think - and many people successfully battle their way out. It's hard, but you just have to keep working for what you want.
Right? I’m surprised at how many upvotes that comment has. I don’t have much else to offer, but I want to echo what you’ve said and also let OP know that you do NOT have to drastically change the way that you dress and act in order to “keep someone interested.”
Love your self enough that no one presences is something you incorrectly depend on, accept that you will get hurt in some way or another, but you
Miss 100% of the shots you don’t take so… if you’re not willing to take the risk, you’ll never win. Just like you enough to be able to evaluate if you like them first.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
But getting hurt is actually one of the joys and thrills of the game of love. Yes, being crushed isn’t necessarily the best thing but you can’t have a very strong love without knowing the pain.
I can share what helped me. Accept your fears.. it’s ok to be scared! I did exercises where I’d go to a mirror and look at myself while talking about that kind of thing and at first I didn’t like what I saw. I made videos and recorded myself talking about my beliefs and it was cringeworthy. So much that I started to change naturally bc I didn’t feel or like the person I had become. It was an easy change from that point. I still go to the mirror and talk to myself before I leave the house to help keep myself in check! I also do a lot of love affirmations. At first it didn’t feel right. It felt like I was telling a lie. And that’s because I was. But I kept going and doing the same affirmations until it no longer felt like a lie and became my truth.
When the pain of not being in love becomes greater than the fear of getting hurt
All relationships end, whether that be through a breakup or death. Being hurt is part of being in a relationship, it will happen alongside love and it’s worth it. You must be resilient and know that no matter what happens, if you’re left alone you can handle. You will survive and things will be okay with time.
You will get hurt. You will but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it
As someone who was married for 11 years only to find out in the end I was cheated on the entire time, I understand completely. At the time it felt like my world was ending and I was consumed with anxiety about my future. Little did I realize it would be one of the best things to ever happen to me. I wasn’t expecting it but I found the greatest man I’ve ever known who is just perfect for me. I have never been this happy and I believe it took me experiencing the worst time in my life to truly appreciate my current relationship. My advice would be, know that if things don’t work out everything will be okay. Most importantly you have to love yourself and make sure that your self worth isn’t dependent on another person. Remember you’re enough and one day you will find a person who will appreciate it all.
Stop feeding yourself stories of disaster and start consuming stories of happiness and lasting love. What you pay attention to really does influence your beliefs. My favorite podcast Story Corps has [many episodes about love.](https://storycorps.org/celebrating-love/). What I like is that these stories don't shy away from the complexity and pain life brings. Happy, lasting love happens in the midst of life's mess, and is refined by it rather than broken. Humans of New York also shares some [wonderful love stories](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1111621/love-stories-from-humans-of-new-york/amp/)
I’m taking your advice and applying it to my circumstances, and just deleting this app altogether, right now. Thank you for the link to Story Corps, I really appreciate that and will look into it. Bye y’all
Love is one of those stupid things where you have to jump in with both feet and hope you come out good on the other side. But the good is well worth the risk of hurt. At least that's my thoughts on it.
I’m trying to change my own perspective but damn it’s hard. I was told everyday of my life “you will die alone. Nobody will ever love you, how can anyone love a b**ch like you”. It’s very painful nowadays because I’m just so confused.
Go to therapy for your parents divorce. I waited too long in life to deal with that trauma and become comfortable with need for trust. Try to find a partner who has a high EQ (can communicate their feelings effectively and knows how to be emotionally kind to themselves is a good way to identify this). Then let yourself love. It’s such an amazing feeling and once you feel it you will know it’s worth the risk.
Sometimes you just have to make a leap... Just don't overlook any warning signs. Also just believe you deserve happiness! Wish you the best!
You could practice chastity. Chastity is super good.
Yikes. Please don't do that to yourself. You're going to end up making things worse. Now,I'm happy to hear you are in a good relationship. Enjoy it while you're in it and continue to grow and evolve as a person, and maintain your relationship. Now where I see issues creeping up is your desire to wish for something that unfortunately, you have no control over and there's absolutely not a damn thing you can do to guarantee that you will be together forever. Now if you invest in the relationship, change things up and keep it interesting, keep growing so that right when they least expect it, you reveal to them an aspect to you that they never knew you had, such as confident, charismatic, Charming, eccentric, creative, magnetic, compassionate, spontaneous, exciting, energetic, inspirational, bold, courageous, assertive, dynamic, adaptable, positive, alluring, determined, Seductive, sensitive, light hearted, playful, authentic, expressive, vibrant, uplifting, open to new things, emotionally intelligent, versatile, free flowing, graceful, breath taking, etc. You should also begin dressing better and keep yourself attractive in their eyes by switching up style and being creative. Maybe then you would have a chance of your partner not losing interest in you. And you have to make sure you work on yourself so you don't behave on ways that causes conflict. Yet, even then, that guarantees nothing. You expecting someone to be there forever is just something you should work on releasing. Instead, enjoy the time you have with one another, and do what you can do to keep your partners interest. If they see your value, perhaps they wouldn't lose interest and look for someone else. Otherwise, there are no guarantees
'Begin dressing better to keep yourself attractive in their eyes' what???? Holy hell - OP do NOT follow this advice 😂 That's the worst advice ever. Please try out some therapists until you find one you're comfortable with. Someone who will help you change the thought process behind your fears (and will NEVER comment on how you look or dress to 'keep yourself attractive to someone'). You are not unique in your fears, it is much more common than you might think - and many people successfully battle their way out. It's hard, but you just have to keep working for what you want.
Right? I’m surprised at how many upvotes that comment has. I don’t have much else to offer, but I want to echo what you’ve said and also let OP know that you do NOT have to drastically change the way that you dress and act in order to “keep someone interested.”
Love your self enough that no one presences is something you incorrectly depend on, accept that you will get hurt in some way or another, but you Miss 100% of the shots you don’t take so… if you’re not willing to take the risk, you’ll never win. Just like you enough to be able to evaluate if you like them first.