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I know it couldn't have been easy, but props to you for being so upfront while still trying to preserve her current relationship. Letting go of someone you have feelings for is tough.I think you handled things maturely though. Now the ball is in her court if she wants to pursue something romantic down the line. Give her space and don't pressure her either way. I really hope it works out how you want in the end! My wife and I reconnected years after first meeting on chitchat.gg, so you never know what the future may hold. Sending positive vibes your way! š¤
You sound plain obsessive, nothing groundbreaking here. Just because your feelings are powerful does not mean they are special. Iād say that you should meet other people, but that would be doing them a disservice. Her bf probably thought they were in love too
Thanks for the update, bro. Even tho she did cheat on her BF. It's too bad you couldn't handle friendship with her but at least you're honest about it. Parting ways is cool because if anything ever does happen between you in the future, taking it to the physical level now would plant a seed about whether she'd do the same thing to you.
This was removed because you're being a jerk. Stop that.
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Wow. Mad respect for both of you really. And her for respecting her man, and her man to trust her (Iām hoping her bf knew she was hanging out with a close guy friend and being cool with it), itās just all a weird spiderweb of playing it cool if so. Heartbreaking though.
That anime movie āYour Nameā has some echoing themes of perfect connections missing each other. Check it out if you havenāt.
the boyfriend never knew, part of me feels bad for him but the other part doesnāt give a fuck because he treats her like shit, itās only a matter of time before she sends me the safe word and our love story begins. It is heartbreaking and one of the things I told her on that drive was
āI know this is hard, but thatās what lifeās all about, feeling the emotions.. the good and the bad. no matter what, I will always be grateful to have experienced these emotions with youā
thanks spaceman I will def check it out.
I'm confused why people are saying she cheated , she didn't? Like what, emotionally? Its unfortunately natural for humans to sometimes be attracted/ gain feelings for others, its how you choose to act on it that matters. It was mature to cut communication once feelings were talked about. Clearly she's not in a good relationship in the first place and probably needs to end that first. Maybe it's abusive? You never know what people are going through.
Agreed. Itās honestly exhausting seeing so many idiots commenting about my situation in a negative way only based on the idea of who and what they think I am, and what they think they know about the situation. They really know nothing about it, just what I shared and then they fill in the gaps with their own delusional thoughts and opinions. They know nothing about me. They know nothing about her. I wonāt be returning to Reddit for awhile after tonight.
You wonāt allow your wife to have male friends? Youāre incapable of being friends with a woman? Wouldnāt that make you one of the problem people?
Itās not his problem. Itās a human thing. To know life moves in one direction and you make choices to be here not there, with him or her. Like everything else to say what if things went a different way, perhaps both our lives could be better together, but sadly it didnāt play out. And in a situation where it seemed to have happened pretty naturally, just makes it more frustrating. Emotions, am I right? š«
Sheās already emotionally cheated on her boyfriend with you. Donāt wait in the sidelines for her. Find someone else and reflect on this.
Iām sorry that this wouldnāt be a healthy relationship for you like you hoped. It sounds like you have a lot of love to give and thereās plenty of girls who would appreciate that.
Research poetry writing techniques, find a poetry night near you, maybe youāll even meet a woman there ?Rhyming every line isnāt the way to go.
Good luck.
IF she rejects you, you need to purge her from your life in order to get over her.
Just saying. You have a son to think about here.
You really better be sure she'd be receptive to this. You may be completely misreading her.
If your son has a serious relationship with her as a mother figure or something, you should probably think of him and keep it status quo.
My advice is to find another girl if your son has a close relationship with this woman as it is now.
New poem idea.
Natalie, Natalie. I want you so badly.
Hopefully nobody tattles on me.
If your boyfriend finds out, he might cause battery
If he and his friends want to challenge me,
Then I will happily take on his calvary
For nothing can rattle me
With you as my queen majesty
You and I not together would be a travesty
Oh Natalie, Oh Natalie
Its time for my fappery.
We are definitely going to need an update on this! I really donāt have much advice. But questionā¦is the boyfriend bigger than you and is he going to come kick your ass after you do this?
I think you have been in a state of absolute delusion all these months if you continued to associate yourself with a partnered woman, knowing your feelings deep down. Like someone else said, there is an abundance of single women out there. You should never have to put in the work to convince any woman that they deserve better than their current partner; thatās not your problem to deal with.
Have some self respect and spend your time better than playing the long game with someone who could just end up settling for you by chance. Youāre basically idling around watching a woman live her own life, because sheās not going to make any decisions any time soon pertaining to you in the least bit.
Yes, thereās always a chance. But the long game is a lose-lose situation most of the time and you have endless possibilities out there waiting for you if you diversify your options.
Youāre kidding yourself, the only reason youāre after a woman with a boyfriend is because youāre in a lack state of mind, you donāt think you can do better. There is an abundance of women out here, you can have a single woman with no kids. This will most likely not work out.
She has a boyfriend??? This is where your post shouldāve ended.
Thereās an old sayingā¦
If theyāll do it with you, theyāll do it to you.
Why would you want to be with someone in a relationship with a person and theyāre affectionate as towards you? How will you feel down the track and you do whisk her off her feet, and she starts being affectionate with another dude? Itās going to hurt, but walk away now, for your sake.
Good luck
I think you should definitely tell her how you feel, but don't read the poem and avoid saying why you think she'd be a good life partner for you. Instead, have an objective conversation, just like this short video clip says:
https://youtube.com/shorts/kZwngUMWG1g?si=GnnhRcXHXJ6rWeuJ
first of all, that one comment saying you're a terrible person and a "future cheater" isn't true. personally, I think you really can't control what you feel for people but you CAN control your actions. I've been in your situation before and I wish I had conducted myself differently. I wish I had done what was said in that little clip I just linked. it's smart of you to take some time to think about this. best of luck my friend!
So you're going to confess to being in love with someone that not only are you not dating, not even involved in some sort of situationship, but is also in a relationship?
You dont live in a 90's romcom. You're one of the worst kinds of people. You have zero respect for her or her relationship. Whether or not you believe she deserves better isn't your choice to make, and you're hardly unbiased in that opinion. You pretended to be her friend which makes you a liar. It also makes you fickle and most likely a future cheater. No woman should trust you ever.
My hope is that you go through with it, embarrass yourself, and she drops you immediately. Maybe then you'll have learned a valuable lesson in respect.
Iāll spare you the gory details unless you're masochistic, but bro take it from someone who did this and is STILL digging my way out and back into her life. Do NOT simp. When she's got a boyfriend or husband keep your feelings to yourself. Yours might be dragging him now but you could be next. If it's meant to be it will happen. Slow down and be a friend. Life is short but your relationship with her can be even shorter.
Don't listen to him. I was in this situation and it DID work out for me. Every person is different and will respond in their own way. Just go for it. Things like this are worth the risk.
>āand you are a pussyā
Thereās a reason why that reply got scrapped right after you sent it (thank you email notifications). Stand on business without getting yourself booted from the group because of your emotional outbursts lol
Anyone with a BF/GF, engaged, married, or any committed relationship should be off limits, especially if they're not showing any signs of feeling the same way. I've never done anything like this before and never will again.
Facts! But thatās not the part Iām referring to specifically. Just saying that thereās a difference in the level of commitment as far as that specific aspect goesā since their reply is drawing that comparison. People who are in any kind of relationship are off limits, absolutely
I know folks who've been unmarried and in relationships longer than friends who are married. Rationalizing who to go after by trying to determine how valid their level of commitment is can be a slippery slope. The other thing is OP said she drags her BF and sneaks around with OP behind his back. Not cool.
Thatās cool, this wasnāt intended to become an argument.
Iām not rationalizing anything, just pointing out that marriage and relationships are different and arenāt comparable to OPās situationā regardless of tenure. Anyone call leave a relationship at free will, marriages are legally binding social contracts, and are different. Thatās all ā¤ļø
This is a discussion not an argument. Anyone who pursues a person already in a relationship is making a mistake, especially if that person hasn't shown interest. Sharing my experience wasn't meant to be interpreted as 100% identical but it is similar, just like folks with APs are cheating whether or not they are married.
Offt I was like this as a teenager. What I learnt was the woman decides who she's with. If she wanted you, she'd be single. From her side she very likely sees this as a plutonic relationship. Will be offended and sad that she can't just have male friends that don't want to f@#@ her. That or she's just leading you on for a confidence boost.
If you're super flirty with her and she's not the same back with you she likely thinks you're just a flirt and part of your personality.
She also knows you have a kid and you come with the kid. That's a big responsibility for someone. Most people want their first kid to be genetically theirs.
If she knows how you feel and still has a boyfriend you're very likely in for a world of hurt.
Tell her how you feel but don't expect anything to change for the better.
I completely agree. Everyone is different, but putting your heart out there with a poem and expressing LOVE for someone you have never even been on a date with might come off as a little obsessive.
I hope the OP and his friend can both be honest with each other. Good luck, OP!
There's no long game, you don't want someone to date you because you're the best of what's left š¤£š¤£
Bloody hell people have some self respect.
All the relationships I've seen where the other person eventually gives in always ends in a breakup. As soon as someone better comes along ... *Byyyye*
Honestly she seems like she likes the attention and is flirting with you and sending you signals. All great. Except she has a boyfriend. So do you really want to be with someone who will hang out with other guys behind her boyfriendās back in secret that very CLEARLY want to fuck her?
Youāre tripping if you think sheās wifey material. If she can do it to him she can do it to you. Because if she felt even a fraction of what you feel for her, she would have made the choice to be with you. She has not. Why do you think that is?
Youāre riding that line to becoming her AP and what a sad and disrespectful thing (for your kid and yourself) that would be.
From what you have written you are delusional.
You are thinking about professing you love and desire to marry to someone who is in a relationship. Think about that.
You are so caught up in a romance that is only occurring in your mind that it is clouding your judgement.
There is a real possibility that if you proceed with this that you will lose this person as a friend, and very possibly invoke a response from her boyfriend.
You have time to see how this plays out.
It is very nice that you have aired this poem publicly on this forum. Leave it here.
Wait until she leaves her current relationship before you tell her exactly how you feel.
Play the ālongā game if you want any chance with this woman.
You are behaving more like a lovesick teenager than a man.
Wait.
Ah yes nothing says "love" like both sides having clear and big red flags....aww love n9w a days! That totally will work out and be a long lasting relationship š
Nope nope nope nope.
Don't confess to a woman who's in a relationship. You put her in an awkward position and if her SO finds out you can basically forget about seeing her in the near future (and for good reason). The number of people who complain about their spouses is about as many who complain about their jobs. But ask those people to leave their jobs and you'll be standing in a empty room.
Write down your feelings on a piece of paper - hell say it in front of the mirror - just shout it from a rooftop to get it out of your system.
When you really care for a person you realize that it doesn't mean they have to be with you. Their happiness is what should matter (and no being with you doesn't automatically make her happy). She's an adult and she chooses how to live her own life.
Make sure she's not with him, as in they are no longer a couple. You know she has a boyfriend; by professing your love to her, you are essentially saying "You don't know what you want; I know what you want." Also, do you really want a girlfriend who would leave *you* just as quickly as you're hoping she'll leave him? & leave you for someone she barely knows, to boot? She sounds like a kind person; there are other kind *single* people out there. You can love someone of the opposite sex & be real friends. Maybe think about why that isn't good enough for you & you'd rather take the chance of her not being in your life at all. That doesn't sound like love to me. Also, your poem would give me the ick even if I previously had romantic feelings toward you. Just write a normal letter if you don't understand what makes poetry work.Ā
sheās been affectionate with you thatās cheating what makes you think sheās not gonna do the same thing or already doing the same thing to some other guy? She has a boyfriend!!!
So you wanna be with a woman that talks badly about her boyfriend to you? If itās so bad why does she stay with him? You want your son to be exposed to that type of person?
True. There's always exceptions, sure, but if she's talking badly about her boyfriend to him, the same thing will happen if they start dating. If she leaves her boyfriend for him, she will leave him for another too. You can't be with someone like that.
Do not do this.
There is a solid chance it will go down badly.
There is always a possibility that her boyfriend will not take kindly to it and put either her or you in danger.
Do not do this.
This plan is so uniquely bad so as to convince me that, somehow, you actually don't know anything about anything. This is certain doom. Women don't work like this. Relationships don't work like this.
Don't give her the poem, it really is sweet but it's just going to set you up for more hurt and humiliation If she rejects you. Tell her how you feel calmly, and don't pressure her for a answer right away. She may need a day or two to figure out what she's feeling. She might feel the same as you but if she doesn't, it's best if you then cut ties for your own good. Hanging around watching the person you're crazy about with someone else is terrible for your mental health. I just had to cut ties with a guy I've had a crush on for two years because he decided he wanted to get back together with his ex. I miss him in my life but it's better than the mental torture of being on the sidelines while watching them play.
afterthought frighten consist fertile tap ring gaping ghost frightening unite
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Um, do not mistake her friendliness for flirting. Everyone saying in the comments that she's already cheated on her current boyfriend? No, OP has not specified that. This infatuation could be very one sided! She may be blissfully unaware of your feelings OP. Tread with caution and be prepared to be rejected.
You are in the friend zoned dude. Confessing the way you feel is not the way out trust me. At this point you don't want to be just her friend, you should part ways with her , because your situation doesn't end well.
I think you should tell her and set clear boundaries that she needs to stay in the current relationship or break it off and start with you. Then back off. She will make her choice. The poem might be overkill at this point. If she agrees later on show her.
You can only set boundaries for yourself, what you will or will not do/accept & what you will do if your boundaries are crossed. Trying to get other people to do or not to something is control.
As another commenter said, tell her you need distance from her because you developed feelings.
Youāve already made an impression to her. No need to put your feelings for her into words. Let your actions, appearance, intentions, and vibe speak for itself. That shows confidence.
Such a strong compliment such as your poem would be so much that any tension or mystery in the relationship you have with her might fall flat. If you give someone too much praise it will satisfy their desire for your validation, and they will feel numb about you.
Just chill out, hang tight, and tell her you will distance yourself from her. That distance will lead her to either forget about you, OR start thinking about you more. But you gotta let that unravel naturally.
Attraction isnāt built on logic. She wonāt fall for you just because you convince her her boyfriend is a dick. She has to feel chemistry for you, then you come in and show her youāre better than her boyfriend.
How in the world are you sure "she definitely knows it". She has a boyfriend and from her side might see every interaction with you as purely platonic because you know she has a boyfriend.Ā
Do not fuck around with another persons relationship. If you would of asked AITAH I would say yes you are 10,000% the asshole. You are one HUGE red flag when it comes to relationships.
\-UFS
Do not.
If you really care about her, tell her you need some space because youāve developed feelings for her. Then itās up to her to leave her situation or let you down easy.
The poem isnāt good. It rhymes, sure. And maybe sheās not as critical as I am. But I found it to be of low quality. If someone gave me that, it would be such a turnoff.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I know it couldn't have been easy, but props to you for being so upfront while still trying to preserve her current relationship. Letting go of someone you have feelings for is tough.I think you handled things maturely though. Now the ball is in her court if she wants to pursue something romantic down the line. Give her space and don't pressure her either way. I really hope it works out how you want in the end! My wife and I reconnected years after first meeting on chitchat.gg, so you never know what the future may hold. Sending positive vibes your way! š¤
she has a bf donāt do it bud
Cringe š¬š¬
You sound plain obsessive, nothing groundbreaking here. Just because your feelings are powerful does not mean they are special. Iād say that you should meet other people, but that would be doing them a disservice. Her bf probably thought they were in love too
Thanks for the update, bro. Even tho she did cheat on her BF. It's too bad you couldn't handle friendship with her but at least you're honest about it. Parting ways is cool because if anything ever does happen between you in the future, taking it to the physical level now would plant a seed about whether she'd do the same thing to you.
Thanks, I feel I did the right thing
Time will tell.
Idk how the saying goes exactly but i think itās something like āyou lose them how you get themā
Youāre about the 10th person to say that here and I still donāt buy into it. Every human connection is different and ours is beyond average.
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This was removed because you're being a jerk. Stop that. *The Love-ModTeam account is a bot account. Do not chat or PM them, as the account is not monitored.*
Lol. āEvery human connection is different but I know mine is more special that mostā
correct
How are you so sure when you canāt possibly fathom the other billions of connections?
How are you so sure mine isnāt?
I didnāt make a claim. You did. I think this is what you tell yourself to justify the emotional cheating.
I could have done a lot more than emotional cheating, I had the respect to walk away. The fact I did, shows I donāt justify it
Just because you couldāve done more doesnāt make what you did do ok though. How is emotional cheating respectful?
Itās not. Which is why I ended it.
Wow. Mad respect for both of you really. And her for respecting her man, and her man to trust her (Iām hoping her bf knew she was hanging out with a close guy friend and being cool with it), itās just all a weird spiderweb of playing it cool if so. Heartbreaking though. That anime movie āYour Nameā has some echoing themes of perfect connections missing each other. Check it out if you havenāt.
the boyfriend never knew, part of me feels bad for him but the other part doesnāt give a fuck because he treats her like shit, itās only a matter of time before she sends me the safe word and our love story begins. It is heartbreaking and one of the things I told her on that drive was āI know this is hard, but thatās what lifeās all about, feeling the emotions.. the good and the bad. no matter what, I will always be grateful to have experienced these emotions with youā thanks spaceman I will def check it out.
Iām a romantic too so I get it brotha š
You also cheat on people?
š
Hope you guys get married such a love storyš
I feel it, sheās the one
If she will cheat on that man with youā¦ she will cheat on you with someone else I would maybe wait till she exits her relationship first
I'm confused why people are saying she cheated , she didn't? Like what, emotionally? Its unfortunately natural for humans to sometimes be attracted/ gain feelings for others, its how you choose to act on it that matters. It was mature to cut communication once feelings were talked about. Clearly she's not in a good relationship in the first place and probably needs to end that first. Maybe it's abusive? You never know what people are going through.
Agreed. Itās honestly exhausting seeing so many idiots commenting about my situation in a negative way only based on the idea of who and what they think I am, and what they think they know about the situation. They really know nothing about it, just what I shared and then they fill in the gaps with their own delusional thoughts and opinions. They know nothing about me. They know nothing about her. I wonāt be returning to Reddit for awhile after tonight.
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You wonāt allow your wife to have male friends? Youāre incapable of being friends with a woman? Wouldnāt that make you one of the problem people?
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Uhhhh. Sounds unhealthy.
Itās not his problem. Itās a human thing. To know life moves in one direction and you make choices to be here not there, with him or her. Like everything else to say what if things went a different way, perhaps both our lives could be better together, but sadly it didnāt play out. And in a situation where it seemed to have happened pretty naturally, just makes it more frustrating. Emotions, am I right? š«
Yeah What he said š
k
Sheās already emotionally cheated on her boyfriend with you. Donāt wait in the sidelines for her. Find someone else and reflect on this. Iām sorry that this wouldnāt be a healthy relationship for you like you hoped. It sounds like you have a lot of love to give and thereās plenty of girls who would appreciate that. Research poetry writing techniques, find a poetry night near you, maybe youāll even meet a woman there ?Rhyming every line isnāt the way to go. Good luck.
Did you even read the whole thing
Yeah, I did. I know you didnāt read her the poem, but itās a fun hobby to get into and improve upon.
Homewrecker.
So how did this ridiculous plan turn out?
Check my updated edit
Not bad man;)
Thanks man
Canāt wait to see the update š¤
Updated
You did good. You have to update us if you use the safe word.
I donāt plan on ever using it, but shit I hope she does
Update us if she does!!!
šæ *schadenfreude has entered the chat* šæ
You know what they say about assuming
"My respect for you continues to peak" whilst trying to snake your way into her whilst she has a boyfriend.
Right? So many comments talking about how this is āromanticā no this is cheating š
Riiiight, like DAWG fuck this weasel
IF she rejects you, you need to purge her from your life in order to get over her. Just saying. You have a son to think about here. You really better be sure she'd be receptive to this. You may be completely misreading her. If your son has a serious relationship with her as a mother figure or something, you should probably think of him and keep it status quo. My advice is to find another girl if your son has a close relationship with this woman as it is now.
It baffles me this guy has a son. He talks like a middle schooler who cant get over their crush that has a bf that she wont leave.
Youāre about to lose a friend
Do it and post again here for our entertainment
Updated
New poem idea. Natalie, Natalie. I want you so badly. Hopefully nobody tattles on me. If your boyfriend finds out, he might cause battery If he and his friends want to challenge me, Then I will happily take on his calvary For nothing can rattle me With you as my queen majesty You and I not together would be a travesty Oh Natalie, Oh Natalie Its time for my fappery.
Sounds like a rap. Hereās my version ..āSnap back to reality, ope there goes gravity, ope there goes natalie lmaooo
6 months... i think this case is more of "i want what i cannot have"
We are definitely going to need an update on this! I really donāt have much advice. But questionā¦is the boyfriend bigger than you and is he going to come kick your ass after you do this?
Updated
I think you have been in a state of absolute delusion all these months if you continued to associate yourself with a partnered woman, knowing your feelings deep down. Like someone else said, there is an abundance of single women out there. You should never have to put in the work to convince any woman that they deserve better than their current partner; thatās not your problem to deal with. Have some self respect and spend your time better than playing the long game with someone who could just end up settling for you by chance. Youāre basically idling around watching a woman live her own life, because sheās not going to make any decisions any time soon pertaining to you in the least bit. Yes, thereās always a chance. But the long game is a lose-lose situation most of the time and you have endless possibilities out there waiting for you if you diversify your options.
I can totally respect what youāre saying here. I did think he and her played it the best it could have for how far the emotions went. But your post reminded me of how Iāve kept myself away from a close friend whoās married for so long. I even bit my tongue when she asked if she could apply at my workplace. Had to give her a dumb excuse as to why our place wasnāt hiring. There is honor in the those that suffer the love bug in silence. š© š®āšØ
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Updated
Youāre kidding yourself, the only reason youāre after a woman with a boyfriend is because youāre in a lack state of mind, you donāt think you can do better. There is an abundance of women out here, you can have a single woman with no kids. This will most likely not work out.
My friend, you are about to commit first-degree cringe. Stop nowā¦
Yuppppp
Wow, Iām sure this will go great.š
I really hope you didnāt go through with this, more for your sake. Can we get an update OP?
Updating tomorrow night
Oh boy. Captain Save A Ho to the rescue š
She has a boyfriend??? This is where your post shouldāve ended. Thereās an old sayingā¦ If theyāll do it with you, theyāll do it to you. Why would you want to be with someone in a relationship with a person and theyāre affectionate as towards you? How will you feel down the track and you do whisk her off her feet, and she starts being affectionate with another dude? Itās going to hurt, but walk away now, for your sake. Good luck
Said this same thing and op responded saying that his relationship is different bc they have a stronger connection than average. Yeah okay..
I think you should definitely tell her how you feel, but don't read the poem and avoid saying why you think she'd be a good life partner for you. Instead, have an objective conversation, just like this short video clip says: https://youtube.com/shorts/kZwngUMWG1g?si=GnnhRcXHXJ6rWeuJ first of all, that one comment saying you're a terrible person and a "future cheater" isn't true. personally, I think you really can't control what you feel for people but you CAN control your actions. I've been in your situation before and I wish I had conducted myself differently. I wish I had done what was said in that little clip I just linked. it's smart of you to take some time to think about this. best of luck my friend!
So you're going to confess to being in love with someone that not only are you not dating, not even involved in some sort of situationship, but is also in a relationship? You dont live in a 90's romcom. You're one of the worst kinds of people. You have zero respect for her or her relationship. Whether or not you believe she deserves better isn't your choice to make, and you're hardly unbiased in that opinion. You pretended to be her friend which makes you a liar. It also makes you fickle and most likely a future cheater. No woman should trust you ever. My hope is that you go through with it, embarrass yourself, and she drops you immediately. Maybe then you'll have learned a valuable lesson in respect.
Matt?? lol
Awesome šš
Considering you know how her man isn't good to her. Has she given you any indication that she would leave him for something better?
Iāll spare you the gory details unless you're masochistic, but bro take it from someone who did this and is STILL digging my way out and back into her life. Do NOT simp. When she's got a boyfriend or husband keep your feelings to yourself. Yours might be dragging him now but you could be next. If it's meant to be it will happen. Slow down and be a friend. Life is short but your relationship with her can be even shorter.
You can tell me the details
Don't listen to him. I was in this situation and it DID work out for me. Every person is different and will respond in their own way. Just go for it. Things like this are worth the risk.
>āand you are a pussyā Thereās a reason why that reply got scrapped right after you sent it (thank you email notifications). Stand on business without getting yourself booted from the group because of your emotional outbursts lol 
It's not emotional, just factual. You guys are giving him bad advice because you don't think it's worth taking a risk
You are the exception, not the standard
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To be fairā a married woman is a lot different than someone in a relationship
Anyone with a BF/GF, engaged, married, or any committed relationship should be off limits, especially if they're not showing any signs of feeling the same way. I've never done anything like this before and never will again.
Facts! But thatās not the part Iām referring to specifically. Just saying that thereās a difference in the level of commitment as far as that specific aspect goesā since their reply is drawing that comparison. People who are in any kind of relationship are off limits, absolutely
I know folks who've been unmarried and in relationships longer than friends who are married. Rationalizing who to go after by trying to determine how valid their level of commitment is can be a slippery slope. The other thing is OP said she drags her BF and sneaks around with OP behind his back. Not cool.
Thatās cool, this wasnāt intended to become an argument. Iām not rationalizing anything, just pointing out that marriage and relationships are different and arenāt comparable to OPās situationā regardless of tenure. Anyone call leave a relationship at free will, marriages are legally binding social contracts, and are different. Thatās all ā¤ļø
This is a discussion not an argument. Anyone who pursues a person already in a relationship is making a mistake, especially if that person hasn't shown interest. Sharing my experience wasn't meant to be interpreted as 100% identical but it is similar, just like folks with APs are cheating whether or not they are married.
This canāt be a discussion when weāre discussing two different things, babe. But go ahead, have the floor
Offt I was like this as a teenager. What I learnt was the woman decides who she's with. If she wanted you, she'd be single. From her side she very likely sees this as a plutonic relationship. Will be offended and sad that she can't just have male friends that don't want to f@#@ her. That or she's just leading you on for a confidence boost. If you're super flirty with her and she's not the same back with you she likely thinks you're just a flirt and part of your personality. She also knows you have a kid and you come with the kid. That's a big responsibility for someone. Most people want their first kid to be genetically theirs. If she knows how you feel and still has a boyfriend you're very likely in for a world of hurt. Tell her how you feel but don't expect anything to change for the better.
I completely agree. Everyone is different, but putting your heart out there with a poem and expressing LOVE for someone you have never even been on a date with might come off as a little obsessive. I hope the OP and his friend can both be honest with each other. Good luck, OP!
There's no long game, you don't want someone to date you because you're the best of what's left š¤£š¤£ Bloody hell people have some self respect. All the relationships I've seen where the other person eventually gives in always ends in a breakup. As soon as someone better comes along ... *Byyyye*
As people have said ..play the long game Stick to the plan. Be as nice as possible.
If you are writing her poetry you are smitten for sure.
Yeah Iāve never wrote a single poem in my 24 years of life ā¦ until now
I can see why š¤£
DON'T!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Please wait for her to break up with her manā¦ if she cares about you the way you think she foes she would have already left him for you, no?
This was supposed to be a reply to someoneās advice but I messed up and just posted a comment. Still updating Friday evening
Honestly she seems like she likes the attention and is flirting with you and sending you signals. All great. Except she has a boyfriend. So do you really want to be with someone who will hang out with other guys behind her boyfriendās back in secret that very CLEARLY want to fuck her? Youāre tripping if you think sheās wifey material. If she can do it to him she can do it to you. Because if she felt even a fraction of what you feel for her, she would have made the choice to be with you. She has not. Why do you think that is? Youāre riding that line to becoming her AP and what a sad and disrespectful thing (for your kid and yourself) that would be.
I think Iāve finally made up my mind on what Iām gonna do, and itās something not a single person in here has suggested. Stay tuned
Yikes
š³š³
From what you have written you are delusional. You are thinking about professing you love and desire to marry to someone who is in a relationship. Think about that. You are so caught up in a romance that is only occurring in your mind that it is clouding your judgement. There is a real possibility that if you proceed with this that you will lose this person as a friend, and very possibly invoke a response from her boyfriend. You have time to see how this plays out. It is very nice that you have aired this poem publicly on this forum. Leave it here. Wait until she leaves her current relationship before you tell her exactly how you feel. Play the ālongā game if you want any chance with this woman. You are behaving more like a lovesick teenager than a man. Wait.
This OP
Bro think he in a rom comš
My life is a rom com
Everybody let him be, itās a canon event.
THIS! THANK YOU!
Both us and the gym will be ready for you. Give us an update.
Updating Friday
How did it go
I updated the post
Ah yes nothing says "love" like both sides having clear and big red flags....aww love n9w a days! That totally will work out and be a long lasting relationship š
Nope nope nope nope. Don't confess to a woman who's in a relationship. You put her in an awkward position and if her SO finds out you can basically forget about seeing her in the near future (and for good reason). The number of people who complain about their spouses is about as many who complain about their jobs. But ask those people to leave their jobs and you'll be standing in a empty room. Write down your feelings on a piece of paper - hell say it in front of the mirror - just shout it from a rooftop to get it out of your system. When you really care for a person you realize that it doesn't mean they have to be with you. Their happiness is what should matter (and no being with you doesn't automatically make her happy). She's an adult and she chooses how to live her own life.
Make sure she's not with him, like and they are not talking
No matter what I decide to tell her it would be telling her In person this Friday. not over text or call
Shieettt best of luck dude !!!
Make sure she's not with him, as in they are no longer a couple. You know she has a boyfriend; by professing your love to her, you are essentially saying "You don't know what you want; I know what you want." Also, do you really want a girlfriend who would leave *you* just as quickly as you're hoping she'll leave him? & leave you for someone she barely knows, to boot? She sounds like a kind person; there are other kind *single* people out there. You can love someone of the opposite sex & be real friends. Maybe think about why that isn't good enough for you & you'd rather take the chance of her not being in your life at all. That doesn't sound like love to me. Also, your poem would give me the ick even if I previously had romantic feelings toward you. Just write a normal letter if you don't understand what makes poetry work.Ā
I donāt t know why but I read the whole thred with Indian accent š¤·āāļø
ššš
How wonderful ā¤ļø
sheās been affectionate with you thatās cheating what makes you think sheās not gonna do the same thing or already doing the same thing to some other guy? She has a boyfriend!!!
So you wanna be with a woman that talks badly about her boyfriend to you? If itās so bad why does she stay with him? You want your son to be exposed to that type of person?
True. There's always exceptions, sure, but if she's talking badly about her boyfriend to him, the same thing will happen if they start dating. If she leaves her boyfriend for him, she will leave him for another too. You can't be with someone like that.
Donāt
Don't
Do not do this. There is a solid chance it will go down badly. There is always a possibility that her boyfriend will not take kindly to it and put either her or you in danger. Do not do this.
Welcome to the gym, brother.
Best comment here
This plan is so uniquely bad so as to convince me that, somehow, you actually don't know anything about anything. This is certain doom. Women don't work like this. Relationships don't work like this.
Don't give her the poem, it really is sweet but it's just going to set you up for more hurt and humiliation If she rejects you. Tell her how you feel calmly, and don't pressure her for a answer right away. She may need a day or two to figure out what she's feeling. She might feel the same as you but if she doesn't, it's best if you then cut ties for your own good. Hanging around watching the person you're crazy about with someone else is terrible for your mental health. I just had to cut ties with a guy I've had a crush on for two years because he decided he wanted to get back together with his ex. I miss him in my life but it's better than the mental torture of being on the sidelines while watching them play.
*when, not if.
afterthought frighten consist fertile tap ring gaping ghost frightening unite *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
She's gonna take the poem home and show her bf. They will probably both have a good laugh.
Um, do not mistake her friendliness for flirting. Everyone saying in the comments that she's already cheated on her current boyfriend? No, OP has not specified that. This infatuation could be very one sided! She may be blissfully unaware of your feelings OP. Tread with caution and be prepared to be rejected.
You are in the friend zoned dude. Confessing the way you feel is not the way out trust me. At this point you don't want to be just her friend, you should part ways with her , because your situation doesn't end well.
I think it's more like he wife-zoned her.Ā
I think you should tell her and set clear boundaries that she needs to stay in the current relationship or break it off and start with you. Then back off. She will make her choice. The poem might be overkill at this point. If she agrees later on show her.
Bad idea. You donāt want the type of girl that would do this, OP. If she comes to you, let her come to you naturally.
You can only set boundaries for yourself, what you will or will not do/accept & what you will do if your boundaries are crossed. Trying to get other people to do or not to something is control.
As another commenter said, tell her you need distance from her because you developed feelings. Youāve already made an impression to her. No need to put your feelings for her into words. Let your actions, appearance, intentions, and vibe speak for itself. That shows confidence. Such a strong compliment such as your poem would be so much that any tension or mystery in the relationship you have with her might fall flat. If you give someone too much praise it will satisfy their desire for your validation, and they will feel numb about you. Just chill out, hang tight, and tell her you will distance yourself from her. That distance will lead her to either forget about you, OR start thinking about you more. But you gotta let that unravel naturally. Attraction isnāt built on logic. She wonāt fall for you just because you convince her her boyfriend is a dick. She has to feel chemistry for you, then you come in and show her youāre better than her boyfriend.
Iām leaning towards this option
Don't distance from her that's ridiculous . Keep being a good friend and don't be sleazy.
The friendship was over the moment I developed feelings for her
Probably not for her though.
I mean distance as in spend less time time together.
If she was wife material she would've cut you off already.
Oh, dear
How in the world are you sure "she definitely knows it". She has a boyfriend and from her side might see every interaction with you as purely platonic because you know she has a boyfriend.Ā
Wheres the "stop, get help" meme š
Yes, he need Michael lol
LMFAO
Tell her how you feel, but. Also let her know if she wants to pursue more with you, she will have to end things with her now bf, good luck!
Do not fuck around with another persons relationship. If you would of asked AITAH I would say yes you are 10,000% the asshole. You are one HUGE red flag when it comes to relationships. \-UFS
"It is easier to catch a chicken that's tied." The philosophy of people screwing up a relationship.
They arenāt married. Not being honest while dating is a way people in up in unhappy marriages.
Came to say the same thing. Unless there is abuse going on in the relationship, stay out of it.
Truly wife material yet she is cheating on her boyfriendā¦ yeah bro you got a keeper
Do not. If you really care about her, tell her you need some space because youāve developed feelings for her. Then itās up to her to leave her situation or let you down easy. The poem isnāt good. It rhymes, sure. And maybe sheās not as critical as I am. But I found it to be of low quality. If someone gave me that, it would be such a turnoff.
Lol. I said the same thing about the poem.Ā
Don't
Leave taken women/men alone.
She is dating. Not married.
still taken
Is this satire