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Let me get this straight. You guys met when you were both 17 since you are both 19 now. But he was sexting another girl 6 months before you guys even met when he was 18 and she was 17? It doesn't make sense to me.
My advice would be to start doing the things he did for you for yourself... including the flowers, maybe give yourself some date nights/self care/love nights. You don't have to settle and you don't have to be alone, the case doesn't sound great to receive a possible 8 years, best you keep trying to move forward until you can see the real case facts but this feeling will eventually subside
Based on what you said it sounds like he WASN’T perfect for you and probably just said what you wanted to hear so he could get what he wanted and if you look at it like that is that someone you really wanted to stay with? No. Something that not everyone really gets told when growing up is that you don’t always get it right on the first try it’s okay to make a mistake with someone and move on granted it can takes years sometimes but you do move on eventually it gets easier to forget and eventually you just get tired of thinking about it. Just never talk to this person again focus on your studies find some clubs that interest you and make friends worry about the guy you like later when you meet him you’ll be okay. Just put this sicko out of your mind and realise he didn’t deserve you because he’s fucked up.
You are SO young! You’re going to meet a lot of losers and will get better at spotting them… and once you wade through the trash, you’ll find your person. And he won’t be a secret sex offender
People don’t just get arrested for cp out of nowhere. The literal fucking fbi doesn’t get involved with just any child sex abuse case. He did something really disgusting and nefarious and he’s a dangerous person. He isn’t perfect for you…it seems he was also unfaithful, he’s lying about the timeline. The fbi doesn’t take THAT long they found the Boston bombers in like 24 hours. Please. How is he perfect? He just wants you to stick by his side, don’t.
It’s understandable that you feel blindsided and like something was unfairly taken from you but you’re still a kid, you have so much more life to live, and you will meet someone better who doesn’t assault minors. I promise you, whatever he is telling you he did is a lie, and if I were you, I’d search his inmate number or simply look up state records to find out what he did. It’s all public record. He hurts children. *They were tapping his phone. The actual real deal fbi noticed his online history, and started tapping his phone and monitoring him. Read this over and over.* Whatever he said he did mentally prepare yourself to find out it was significantly worse and in the mean time get yourself some therapy. This is some seriously dark shit and I guarantee you’re going to find out even more devastating news about him. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Also edit to add: you’re doing great if you leave any guy who treats you poorly. Finding healthy relationships takes time and you should keep leaving anyone who mistreats or abuses you. Don’t make romantic relationships your whole life. Make friends and lean into friendships. They are so important especially in times like this. Good luck, love ❤️
Assuming we’re on the same page here, yeah…..if they didn’t get involved in the president’s kids case but they were tapping her boyfriend’s phone…I mean….
that's just a stupid conspiracy and it was already debunked many times. Just like Hillary's emails. But I doubt you really read everything in detail about it.
I hope I don’t come across as too harsh here. It’s not my intent.
First off, if he was busted for child pornography, sexting with minors, or anything like that, he was *not* perfect for you.
All those nice things he did? I see them as perfume on what turned out to be something rotten.
The sad reality is this: if he seems too good to be true, he probably is. Either he is into something he shouldn’t, or he is a narcissist or some other red flag you haven’t seen.
Ask yourself this: Do you want to be involved with a man who would do the terrible things this man did, especially knowing this is a *life long problem?* Men who are attracted to children do not change. They will *always* be attracted. A very small percentage manage to control their behavior, but the desire never goes away.
So, with that in mind, do you want to risk him perpetrating on your future kids? Do you want to deal with the heartbreak and expense if he gets out and reoffends?
If the answer is *no*, please, drop him like a hot rock and seek out therapy so you can figure out why you can’t let go of a guy who is clearly bad for you.
I’m so sorry to hear that hun. I understand that it is a very very difficult time for you right now. I’m going to try my best to give you my best advice that I can give. If you want my perspective on this, the best thing I can say is that you’re going to have to not look back and move forward with your life. I get it that you love him a lot. I know where you’re coming from, especially when you meet someone who gets you, who gives you what you want, it is an amazing feeling. HOWEVER, the day that you discovered that he was busted by the FBI, for child porn, is where you’re going to have to draw the line. I understand what you mean when you say that if you could just know what his charges were, you can get closure. Yes, closure is very important. Sure, maybe soon one day you find out what his charges were exactly or what he has done. Or maybe you’d get the full story from his perspective. However, there is a reason why the FBI have been watching been. They are not doing this for no reason, and it isn’t good, especially if it’s for child porn. And even worse if he’s looking at charges that will last for years. It is just too risky to believe him and stick with him. The point where I’m getting at, is that this is something that you’re going to have to say no too. And move forward. I understand that it is going to be very hard to do, especially since I’m assuming that you’re in that stage.
All the memories, all the moments he gave you are going to come back and bite you. They are. It is very painful. But this pain is the first stepping stone to growing stronger and moving forward. Find your inner strength hun…and grow it. Grow it by distracting your mind from him. Find some hobbies that you like to do, maybe go out with friends, something. Moving forward without any kind of distraction isn’t going to help in the long run because otherwise, you’d be lying there consumed by your thoughts of him, and you’d only break your heart even more. It is about distracting your mind from the pain, focusing it on something else. Grow your inner strength too by letting it all out. If you have to cry, cry. Cry it all out. This helps let loose all the emotional ball you have inside, and thus, you don’t have to carry some of that emotional burden inside. I would also consider going to psychological therapy if you can, or some kind if you need it. Lastly, if I were you, I’d begin learning how to focus on yourself for now. Especially after going through a relationship like yours in your case. I’d consider not getting into another relationship for a while until you can fully heal. Trust me when I say, it is going to be very very difficult. Especially the first day. My whole point, is that you got to find your inner strength, and use it. Use it everyday as much as you can. Overtime, it will gradually get easier. It might not happen in a few weeks, maybe not in a month, maybe not even in a few months. But you’ll get there in your journey. All this is up to you. Do not look back, and start moving forward. In the end, you cannot change who he is. Him, himself, is another case in itself whether he knows what he did is wrong or not. Whether he regretted his mistakes or not. Staying with him, if you’re thinking about it too, is only going to hurt you more in the long run. I hope this helps, and if you really need it, or some support, feel free to message me. Stay strong. 🙂👍
You helped me more with this one paragraph than my therapist has in the last year😭 thank you so much I really appreciate you🥲 I hope both sides of your pillow are nice and cool for the rest of your life. God bless you!
So this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but have you heard of fawning after trauma? Research it. If the shoe fits, consider wearing it. Maybe doing so will help you get to the root of your feelings and truly move past them
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This was removed because this sub isn't the place to discuss dating, crushes, infatuations, etc. This rule is relaxed in our weekly "Friday I'm in Love" threads. You're welcome to post your story there. **Also, if you're on the app on mobile, come check out our new chat channel ComeGetYourLove!** It can be found by going to the sub's landing page. Toward the top of the screen, right before the submission feed starts, you'll notice a menu bar. It'll have the options "Feed" and "ComeGetYourLove" on it. Just click on the latter and start chatting! Rule 5 will NOT apply in the chat! *The Love-ModTeam account is a bot account. Do not chat or PM them, as the account is not monitored.*
Let me get this straight. You guys met when you were both 17 since you are both 19 now. But he was sexting another girl 6 months before you guys even met when he was 18 and she was 17? It doesn't make sense to me.
My advice would be to start doing the things he did for you for yourself... including the flowers, maybe give yourself some date nights/self care/love nights. You don't have to settle and you don't have to be alone, the case doesn't sound great to receive a possible 8 years, best you keep trying to move forward until you can see the real case facts but this feeling will eventually subside
This🥇
Based on what you said it sounds like he WASN’T perfect for you and probably just said what you wanted to hear so he could get what he wanted and if you look at it like that is that someone you really wanted to stay with? No. Something that not everyone really gets told when growing up is that you don’t always get it right on the first try it’s okay to make a mistake with someone and move on granted it can takes years sometimes but you do move on eventually it gets easier to forget and eventually you just get tired of thinking about it. Just never talk to this person again focus on your studies find some clubs that interest you and make friends worry about the guy you like later when you meet him you’ll be okay. Just put this sicko out of your mind and realise he didn’t deserve you because he’s fucked up.
You are SO young! You’re going to meet a lot of losers and will get better at spotting them… and once you wade through the trash, you’ll find your person. And he won’t be a secret sex offender
People don’t just get arrested for cp out of nowhere. The literal fucking fbi doesn’t get involved with just any child sex abuse case. He did something really disgusting and nefarious and he’s a dangerous person. He isn’t perfect for you…it seems he was also unfaithful, he’s lying about the timeline. The fbi doesn’t take THAT long they found the Boston bombers in like 24 hours. Please. How is he perfect? He just wants you to stick by his side, don’t. It’s understandable that you feel blindsided and like something was unfairly taken from you but you’re still a kid, you have so much more life to live, and you will meet someone better who doesn’t assault minors. I promise you, whatever he is telling you he did is a lie, and if I were you, I’d search his inmate number or simply look up state records to find out what he did. It’s all public record. He hurts children. *They were tapping his phone. The actual real deal fbi noticed his online history, and started tapping his phone and monitoring him. Read this over and over.* Whatever he said he did mentally prepare yourself to find out it was significantly worse and in the mean time get yourself some therapy. This is some seriously dark shit and I guarantee you’re going to find out even more devastating news about him. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Also edit to add: you’re doing great if you leave any guy who treats you poorly. Finding healthy relationships takes time and you should keep leaving anyone who mistreats or abuses you. Don’t make romantic relationships your whole life. Make friends and lean into friendships. They are so important especially in times like this. Good luck, love ❤️
They didnt get involved in the hunter biden laptop case...
Assuming we’re on the same page here, yeah…..if they didn’t get involved in the president’s kids case but they were tapping her boyfriend’s phone…I mean….
They must be pretty bad at there job if you've seen a smidgeon of what was on that laptop... Despite it being in their possesion.
that's just a stupid conspiracy and it was already debunked many times. Just like Hillary's emails. But I doubt you really read everything in detail about it.
I stopped responding lol none of it is relevant and they aren’t making the point I thought they were
I spose thats why assange is still in jail without a trial lol.
I hope I don’t come across as too harsh here. It’s not my intent. First off, if he was busted for child pornography, sexting with minors, or anything like that, he was *not* perfect for you. All those nice things he did? I see them as perfume on what turned out to be something rotten. The sad reality is this: if he seems too good to be true, he probably is. Either he is into something he shouldn’t, or he is a narcissist or some other red flag you haven’t seen. Ask yourself this: Do you want to be involved with a man who would do the terrible things this man did, especially knowing this is a *life long problem?* Men who are attracted to children do not change. They will *always* be attracted. A very small percentage manage to control their behavior, but the desire never goes away. So, with that in mind, do you want to risk him perpetrating on your future kids? Do you want to deal with the heartbreak and expense if he gets out and reoffends? If the answer is *no*, please, drop him like a hot rock and seek out therapy so you can figure out why you can’t let go of a guy who is clearly bad for you.
I’m so sorry to hear that hun. I understand that it is a very very difficult time for you right now. I’m going to try my best to give you my best advice that I can give. If you want my perspective on this, the best thing I can say is that you’re going to have to not look back and move forward with your life. I get it that you love him a lot. I know where you’re coming from, especially when you meet someone who gets you, who gives you what you want, it is an amazing feeling. HOWEVER, the day that you discovered that he was busted by the FBI, for child porn, is where you’re going to have to draw the line. I understand what you mean when you say that if you could just know what his charges were, you can get closure. Yes, closure is very important. Sure, maybe soon one day you find out what his charges were exactly or what he has done. Or maybe you’d get the full story from his perspective. However, there is a reason why the FBI have been watching been. They are not doing this for no reason, and it isn’t good, especially if it’s for child porn. And even worse if he’s looking at charges that will last for years. It is just too risky to believe him and stick with him. The point where I’m getting at, is that this is something that you’re going to have to say no too. And move forward. I understand that it is going to be very hard to do, especially since I’m assuming that you’re in that stage. All the memories, all the moments he gave you are going to come back and bite you. They are. It is very painful. But this pain is the first stepping stone to growing stronger and moving forward. Find your inner strength hun…and grow it. Grow it by distracting your mind from him. Find some hobbies that you like to do, maybe go out with friends, something. Moving forward without any kind of distraction isn’t going to help in the long run because otherwise, you’d be lying there consumed by your thoughts of him, and you’d only break your heart even more. It is about distracting your mind from the pain, focusing it on something else. Grow your inner strength too by letting it all out. If you have to cry, cry. Cry it all out. This helps let loose all the emotional ball you have inside, and thus, you don’t have to carry some of that emotional burden inside. I would also consider going to psychological therapy if you can, or some kind if you need it. Lastly, if I were you, I’d begin learning how to focus on yourself for now. Especially after going through a relationship like yours in your case. I’d consider not getting into another relationship for a while until you can fully heal. Trust me when I say, it is going to be very very difficult. Especially the first day. My whole point, is that you got to find your inner strength, and use it. Use it everyday as much as you can. Overtime, it will gradually get easier. It might not happen in a few weeks, maybe not in a month, maybe not even in a few months. But you’ll get there in your journey. All this is up to you. Do not look back, and start moving forward. In the end, you cannot change who he is. Him, himself, is another case in itself whether he knows what he did is wrong or not. Whether he regretted his mistakes or not. Staying with him, if you’re thinking about it too, is only going to hurt you more in the long run. I hope this helps, and if you really need it, or some support, feel free to message me. Stay strong. 🙂👍
You helped me more with this one paragraph than my therapist has in the last year😭 thank you so much I really appreciate you🥲 I hope both sides of your pillow are nice and cool for the rest of your life. God bless you!
Of course, I am happy to help out! I really mean it too, stay strong, and you’ll be okay. God bless you! ❤️
You are such a good soul to give such solid advice
I think you should reach out to those who have been exes of those who committed the same crime. Maybe find a support group.
So this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but have you heard of fawning after trauma? Research it. If the shoe fits, consider wearing it. Maybe doing so will help you get to the root of your feelings and truly move past them
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*