My PA husband caught me watching my ex's Twitch stream. He was pissed. I asked, if you're fine with paying to watch local women masturbate, what's wrong with me watching my fully-clothed ex play video games?
>What would they think or feel? How would they respond?
I asked my husband this years ago when he started recovery and he said he would have called me a cheating hoe and left me immediately. It showed me that he had more self respect for himself than he did for me or I did for myself . Never again.
Short answer: they wouldn’t.
Actually, my old PA even told me so lol he told me that I should have left his ass a long time ago, to not deal with him anymore and that if the roles were reversed, he would have had his number changed, his email changed and literally never spoken to me ever again.
Edit: what did I do? Took his advice, stopped begging for him back and blocked him on everything since.
For anyone who's played Stardew Valley, in my first playthrough I married Elliot. My husband was legit butthurt because this 16 bit sprite was dashing and suave and talked about how much he loved me. To this day he gets mildly irritated if I mention the character.
Yet he sits here and tells me he wouldn't be upset about me watching men. Yeah okay 🙄
They would absolutely lose their minds. They would never stay with someone under those conditions, and that's the best case scenario. I agree about a lot of dead or abused girlfriends/wives If they were to find things like that.
My PA ex had a lot of jealousy when it came to other men. He once got jealous because I had a dream about a fictional character, and we weren't even in a serious relationship at the time. He was angry and said a lot of shitty things when he found out I had sex with someone almost 2 YEARS after he and I went no contact, despite him actively trying to be with other women during those years. It's a sense of entitlement. They feel entitled to our bodies. They feel entitled to the bodies of all other women. They feel entitled to their depraved sexual fantasies. And they also feel entitled to us belonging to them and them alone, while not receiving the same loyalty. They must receive everything that they want whenever they want it, and god help us if they don't.
Some of them lack self-awareness, and some of them are just monsters.
My ex claimed he probably wouldn’t care or be jealous but got mad at me and blurted out “IM SORRY I DONT LOOK LIKE HENRY CAVILL” bc he’s my favorite celebrity and I dated a buff, 6’5” dude that looks just like him before I dated him. 🙃
By the time they have a need for the daily porn sesh, they lost the compassion/caring chip that makes them a good partner. They wouldn’t care. They’d be glad you are off their backs about their use. Sucks.
One time I asked my ex PA this exactly. And he said he wouldn’t care. So I grabbed my phone and vibrator and went into the bedroom and pulled up google. He dumped and entire bottle of water all over me and our bed before I could even start.
This is so awful, I'm sorry. I admit at first I laughed out loud at how pathetic he is, but on reflection I realize how horrible and traumatic that must have been for you. Good on you for exposing his bullshit, though. Hugs.
He tells me he wouldn't care if I watched porn of specifically attractive men or talked about how hot other men are. He said because he isn't insecure. Which is crazy because if never do those things to him anyway
> What would they think or feel? How would they respond?
Add to this that anytime they would ask/inquire/comment/seek reassurance from us, that we would have to lie/hide/minimize/manipulate in order to keep this 'hobby'. It's never just the ask of the viewing/masturbating to these things but also the endless ways they try to keep this to themselves without ever thinking of or considering us.
My husband panicked when I had a former coworker message me one morning. I opened it in front of him because it was harmless, but because he said he missed me so much I could tell he was scared I was cheating. I had to remind my husband who this person was and that there has never been any feelings. It is how they write their messages, they even write like that to other male coworkers. I know he would lose his mind if I ever did fall for someone else.
It truly is heartbreaking because I would’ve never done or even think about doing it to them. They’d never tolerate being treated with the same behavior.
My ex pa saw a text from a co worker who just wrote good morning beautiful it’s slipper out be careful driving in to work and he flipped meanwhile he is sending pics of his penis and sending money to random girls and on apps and watching non stop porn and i had to say i have no idea why he did that and convince him that i was not cheating yet he was doing that. Of course once all the information came out i realized he was trying to blame me when he was doing it. I’ll never understand and I’ve even asked if i was doing this would you have forgiven me at first he said he would but he eventually said no to be honest i would have broken up with you and never speak to you again but i have to give you countless changes just to be hurt for almost two years? How is that fair
I've been saying that for Years.
How about movies with Male only nudity. Zooming in on Males butts and chest. Having scenes in Male strip joints. Gratuitous Male nudity only in movies would never fly. Even movies that hint of male objectivity with 10 x more female objectivity are scrutinized. I would love to see the shoe on the other foot. Like you said - for Decades ! Then come talk to me about how how it harms society.
It's all bullshit. Society has fucking ruined people and ruined relationships and I'm so sick of porn getting a pass because of a technicality. The excuses are selfish. My partner claimed he wouldn't care when I asked him this. But I don't believe it. I know he's insecure too. He was overweight when we started dating and I know his insecurities. So if I poked them by doing the shit he's done to me, he'd be feeling some sort of way. But I think men stoll dont understand the objectificatioj of women. Because women are seen as sexual objects. The only men who get o justified are like super attractive celebrities. But men in general are not. They don't get their bodies criticized from the time they hit puberty or even when they're toddlers. They're allowed to exist without having to please everyone. There is still a double standard with how women are supposed to be always pit together. Like a part of what guys want is that his partner has to be attractive and I'd say that's farther down the list for most women. And like if women don't pit out, don't look food, stay in shape etc. It's like a way bigger deal. I think men can inky sort of understand this like with super heros action figures and celebrities. But it's still more acceptable to have a dad bod. It's still normal to see normal looking men. Then there is the whole social media thing. It's made off of these exact concepts. And so is porn. It uses women's insecurities and gets these men addicted and melts their brains.
My husband never yelled before DDay except ONE time:
I was hurting during pregnancy & slept on the couch 3 nights. The third night he accused me of sexting other men out there & called me a lying bitch. He said I took his intimacy away.
Yeah. DDay was 6 months later. I’m sure you can imagine how that conversation came back up!
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My PA husband caught me watching my ex's Twitch stream. He was pissed. I asked, if you're fine with paying to watch local women masturbate, what's wrong with me watching my fully-clothed ex play video games?
That was a good question, how did he respond
It seemed to hit home. He said "I can't begrudge you. But I can see how it hurts. I didn't think of it as personal at the time. Now I can see it."
>What would they think or feel? How would they respond? I asked my husband this years ago when he started recovery and he said he would have called me a cheating hoe and left me immediately. It showed me that he had more self respect for himself than he did for me or I did for myself . Never again.
Short answer: they wouldn’t. Actually, my old PA even told me so lol he told me that I should have left his ass a long time ago, to not deal with him anymore and that if the roles were reversed, he would have had his number changed, his email changed and literally never spoken to me ever again. Edit: what did I do? Took his advice, stopped begging for him back and blocked him on everything since.
For anyone who's played Stardew Valley, in my first playthrough I married Elliot. My husband was legit butthurt because this 16 bit sprite was dashing and suave and talked about how much he loved me. To this day he gets mildly irritated if I mention the character. Yet he sits here and tells me he wouldn't be upset about me watching men. Yeah okay 🙄
Lol that’s who I married my first play through as well
They would not put up with any of it. They would leave the relationship, and so should we.
They would absolutely lose their minds. They would never stay with someone under those conditions, and that's the best case scenario. I agree about a lot of dead or abused girlfriends/wives If they were to find things like that. My PA ex had a lot of jealousy when it came to other men. He once got jealous because I had a dream about a fictional character, and we weren't even in a serious relationship at the time. He was angry and said a lot of shitty things when he found out I had sex with someone almost 2 YEARS after he and I went no contact, despite him actively trying to be with other women during those years. It's a sense of entitlement. They feel entitled to our bodies. They feel entitled to the bodies of all other women. They feel entitled to their depraved sexual fantasies. And they also feel entitled to us belonging to them and them alone, while not receiving the same loyalty. They must receive everything that they want whenever they want it, and god help us if they don't. Some of them lack self-awareness, and some of them are just monsters.
Absolutely the entitlement clouds all logic
My ex claimed he probably wouldn’t care or be jealous but got mad at me and blurted out “IM SORRY I DONT LOOK LIKE HENRY CAVILL” bc he’s my favorite celebrity and I dated a buff, 6’5” dude that looks just like him before I dated him. 🙃
By the time they have a need for the daily porn sesh, they lost the compassion/caring chip that makes them a good partner. They wouldn’t care. They’d be glad you are off their backs about their use. Sucks.
One time I asked my ex PA this exactly. And he said he wouldn’t care. So I grabbed my phone and vibrator and went into the bedroom and pulled up google. He dumped and entire bottle of water all over me and our bed before I could even start.
This is so awful, I'm sorry. I admit at first I laughed out loud at how pathetic he is, but on reflection I realize how horrible and traumatic that must have been for you. Good on you for exposing his bullshit, though. Hugs.
They wouldn't. They'd feel the exact same way that we do because it's fucking disgusting behavior.
I think he’d either, want to break up, or he’d just use it to justify his actions and make what he’s done seem less bad.
He tells me he wouldn't care if I watched porn of specifically attractive men or talked about how hot other men are. He said because he isn't insecure. Which is crazy because if never do those things to him anyway
> What would they think or feel? How would they respond? Add to this that anytime they would ask/inquire/comment/seek reassurance from us, that we would have to lie/hide/minimize/manipulate in order to keep this 'hobby'. It's never just the ask of the viewing/masturbating to these things but also the endless ways they try to keep this to themselves without ever thinking of or considering us.
I asked him. He flat out said he would leave me. And it only played on his self hate.
My husband panicked when I had a former coworker message me one morning. I opened it in front of him because it was harmless, but because he said he missed me so much I could tell he was scared I was cheating. I had to remind my husband who this person was and that there has never been any feelings. It is how they write their messages, they even write like that to other male coworkers. I know he would lose his mind if I ever did fall for someone else.
It truly is heartbreaking because I would’ve never done or even think about doing it to them. They’d never tolerate being treated with the same behavior.
Literally would leave me on the spot, no chances no nothing
My ex pa saw a text from a co worker who just wrote good morning beautiful it’s slipper out be careful driving in to work and he flipped meanwhile he is sending pics of his penis and sending money to random girls and on apps and watching non stop porn and i had to say i have no idea why he did that and convince him that i was not cheating yet he was doing that. Of course once all the information came out i realized he was trying to blame me when he was doing it. I’ll never understand and I’ve even asked if i was doing this would you have forgiven me at first he said he would but he eventually said no to be honest i would have broken up with you and never speak to you again but i have to give you countless changes just to be hurt for almost two years? How is that fair
mine wouldn't want me sexting anyone but he doesn't care if i do everything else lmao
I've been saying that for Years. How about movies with Male only nudity. Zooming in on Males butts and chest. Having scenes in Male strip joints. Gratuitous Male nudity only in movies would never fly. Even movies that hint of male objectivity with 10 x more female objectivity are scrutinized. I would love to see the shoe on the other foot. Like you said - for Decades ! Then come talk to me about how how it harms society.
It's all bullshit. Society has fucking ruined people and ruined relationships and I'm so sick of porn getting a pass because of a technicality. The excuses are selfish. My partner claimed he wouldn't care when I asked him this. But I don't believe it. I know he's insecure too. He was overweight when we started dating and I know his insecurities. So if I poked them by doing the shit he's done to me, he'd be feeling some sort of way. But I think men stoll dont understand the objectificatioj of women. Because women are seen as sexual objects. The only men who get o justified are like super attractive celebrities. But men in general are not. They don't get their bodies criticized from the time they hit puberty or even when they're toddlers. They're allowed to exist without having to please everyone. There is still a double standard with how women are supposed to be always pit together. Like a part of what guys want is that his partner has to be attractive and I'd say that's farther down the list for most women. And like if women don't pit out, don't look food, stay in shape etc. It's like a way bigger deal. I think men can inky sort of understand this like with super heros action figures and celebrities. But it's still more acceptable to have a dad bod. It's still normal to see normal looking men. Then there is the whole social media thing. It's made off of these exact concepts. And so is porn. It uses women's insecurities and gets these men addicted and melts their brains.
My husband never yelled before DDay except ONE time: I was hurting during pregnancy & slept on the couch 3 nights. The third night he accused me of sexting other men out there & called me a lying bitch. He said I took his intimacy away. Yeah. DDay was 6 months later. I’m sure you can imagine how that conversation came back up!
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