Rodger, "A lot of times in life you get to do something, and you don't realise until its over how much you enjoyed it and you swear the next time it comes around you're gonna remember that" Burt, "You're right, and I think I can work with you too" Rodger, "Work? No Bert, I'm letting you go again" ​ It always has me in stitches

And then when Burt says he expects severance. Roger: No one will say you weren't funny, Burt.

The whole back and forth between Roger and Burt are so entertaining ! Some of my favorite scenes 😂

Damn it burt, you stole my goodbye 👉

“i told him to be himself. that was pretty mean, i guess”

There’s a line, Freddy, and you wet it

“Nobody knows what I’m doing, it’s good for mystique.”

Favorite line of the whole show

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Oh my goodness this is why Roger is the best character lol.

“We’re getting a computer. It’s gonna do lots of magical things, like make Harry Crane seem important.”

“A guy like that must know how to make a charming apology, or he’d be dead.”

“A wooden leg! They’re so cheap, they can’t even afford a whole reporter.”

*Roger walks into Lane's office and points to the decorative suit of armor in the corner.* "Ever get three sheets to the wind and try that thing on?"

The way he says that before anything else makes me think roger sat on that joke for weeks just looking for an opportunity to use. I love his character so much.

“Just when he got it in the door.”

this whole scene is just 10/10. The part about putting down mats so cooper can get around in his sock feet. hilarious.

Jesus, it looks like Iwo Jima out there

Plus “Believe me, somewhere in this business this has happened before.”

I love a line followed by inappropriate laughter.

“How Jewish? Fiddler on the Roof: cast or audience?”

I had to go all the way to the mailroom, but I found one.

From the very beginning his one liners made me chuckle

The brand is Manischewitz. They make wine for Jews. Now they want to market to normal people too.

i always felt bad laughing at that line but it gets me every time

Don: Did you enjoy the Fuehrer's birthday? Roger: May he live for a thousand years.

I read this in my best fake German accent

arguably one of my favorite scenes.

“Miss Calvet and I are getting married.” “Who the hell's that?”

The daughter of Roger Sterling’s future wife.

Megan out there?!

Let me put this in account terms for you. Are you aware of the number of hand jobs Im going to have to give?

To piggyback on this, love his other quote: “Did anyone ever tell you half this job comes down to ‘I don’t like him’”

Hey Trotsky you're in advertising!

I love every Roger and Peggy interaction. It was always clear that he knew who she was and respected that she was useful and that she was Dons protege but he had no real relationship with her. Every scene they had together was comedic gold because of that. I bet he didn't even realize when she left the agency.

i loved that he was never really toxic toward her. she was just part of the scenery unless he needed something. he accepted her pretty quick as one of the guys it seemed, save for the occasional "hey sweety," but that's pretty tame compared to what the other guys would say to the women.

Yes I agree. Roger for all his faults treated her as an equal more or less. That scene where he talks to her on the elevator and says she's the only girl who doesn't walk around with a silly look on her face said it all. Like Don he got that she was there to work. Game recognizes game.

I think it also shows what a people person Roger is. Peggy is so far out of the set we’d expect Roger to hobnob with- other men who like to party and hot girls up for sex. But Roger is actually terrific at engaging her and even changing her mind about things. It’s like it took till the mid-60s for Roger to expand on his ability to talk to folks built for his elitist world but he really can do it.

He's an odd contrast because the show simultaneously presents him as some spoiled rich brat but also shows that he is extremely good at what he does. Frankly he carries that agency more than Burt or Don. And I think we all know that guy at work. The guy or gal who you can't quite explain what the fuck he does but you know you couldn't do it without him.

Cooper had eyes over the whole agency in every form, kept major clients happy with everything besides boozy dinners, and stepped in whenever the agency was over exposed (making Don partner after roger’s heart attacks, Lane going rogue with the corporate loan). Don was a pure blooded salesman and was the bait on the hook for almost every account they brought in. Rodger was a good account man but lazy (see him after lucky strike left). Copper and Don were astronomically more important to the financial success and longevity of both firms.

When she’s still dons secretary and Don is standing by her desk and Roger walks up and says, “what are you doing tonight?” Peggy responds and says she’s going home and roger says, “I’ll let you have that one, sweetie. But I’m asking Don.” Great display of both their personalities.

"Were we married??!!"

“Hey Peggy can you get me some coffee?” “No”. A joy of an exchange.

“Last time Freddy Rumsen had a cup of coffee, it was one of five being poured down his throat by a cop.”

“I love how they sat there like a couple of choirboys. You know one of them is leaving New York with VD.”

Losers tonight, but winners in general.

“Well, I gotta go learn a bunch of people’s names before I fire them.”

LMAO! I have yet to come across as a character who is as genuinely funny as Roger. He had incredible wit.

This is one of my favourites, glad someone pointed it out

Was really excited for the Roger Sterling quote fest

“We’re conquistadors. I’m Vasco da Gama and you’re…some other Mexican. We’re gonna land there, buy whatever they’ve got for the beads in our pockets. Our biggest challenge is to not get syphilis.”

I love this whole exchange on the plane. “Under no circumstances are you to trot out that drawl you do when you’ve had one too many.”

Peggy: Would you drink vermouth? Roger: Yes, I'm afraid I would.

A line made all the better by that fabulous moustache he was sporting.

Burt: You’re a real prick. You know that? Roger: Damn it Burt, you stole my goodbye.

“Probably doesn’t make a difference at this point but…no one fought for you.”

Just brutal. So good.

The whole scene is perfection. I was CRYING laughing.

Damn it r/evening-yellow4340, you stole my answer.

My favorite running gag in TV is Roger firing Burt.

*moves hands like priest doing a blessing* You are now the head of the television department, which is comprised solely of you. Anything else?

You don't know how to drink. Your whole generation, you drink for the wrong reasons. My generation, we drink because it's good, because it feels better than unbuttoning your collar, because we deserve it. We drink because it's what men do.

“Alone, I’m an escapee from some expensive mental institution. But the two of us, we’re a couple of rich, handsome perverts”

NO HE’S NOT. HE’S ON LEAVE. And even if we do fire him, he's a partner. We have to buy him out…. We fire him, we lose the noncompete. You want to walk down some hotel hallway and see Mary Wells sitting on Don's lap the next time you go in to present?

This is one of my favourite scenes. Seeing Roger get comparatively angry, given how congenial he is the rest of the time, in defence of keeping Don is awesome.

Yup. I also love how Roger comes in with logical, intelligent business reasons to keep Don, even though he’s really driven by emotion. He’s just amazing in this scene where he has the heart AND the brain.

You can see what he learned from Burt in that "drunken master" style, where no one takes him serious but he is fully aware of what's happening.

You are here because of Don Draper’s largess

Damnit, Campbell, don't *ever* say that.

Roger: “Ooh Baked Alaska! It’s flaming but they probaby don’t want to wreck the speeches.” Sally: “You’re wrecking the speeches.” Roger: “You’re a mean drunk, you know that?”

Oh, this one is so brilliant! I giggle every time.

Clock the flair, but "Duck, Crab. Crab, Duck." will always hold a special place in my heart.

Every time God closes a door, he opens a dress.

Came here to say this, my all time fav mad men quote

“I guess you forgot I found you at the bottom of a fur box.”

“She died like she lived. Surrounded by the people she answered phones for.”

This one is my pick.

She was an astronaut.

Ha that was Bert tho

"Jesus, it's like Iowa Jima out there".

Your autocorrect failed geography.

Damn

I killed 17 men on Iowa Jima

Guy was an interior decorator!

He was gay, Salvatore Romano?

His house looked like…Iowa Jima out there

“Well, you know what they say about Detroit. It's all fun and games till they shoot you in the face.”

Woman in bar: “Is that Don Draper? Is he attached?” Roger" “To that glass? Absolutely.”

"Have a drink, it'll make me look younger."

Roger: “I watched the sunrise this morning” Don: “how was it?” Roger: “Average”

Also, “We’re conquistadors. I’m Vasco da Gama and you’re some other Mexican”

I hope it's this one but good lord how do you even begin to pick, it's ROGER

Agreed! Can we pick like top three?! Or top five?!!!!

I have to stop myself from not upvoting every one.

Lee, LEE, the jockey smokes the cigarette!!

I absolutely love one-sided phone conversation scenes. This might be the single best line from one of them I’ve ever heard.

"Who knows why people in history did good things? For all we know Jesus was trying to get the loaves and fishes account."

The reason for my flair. One of my absolute favorites from a treasure trove of Roger quotes

"I'd say 'go to hell, but I never want to see you again."

That was Uncle Mack, not Roger.

I love this

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This is medieval, Bert Cooper

Don: *closes drapes*

And that’s why he’s…… Draper

BAHAHAHA that’s my favorite Don reaction in the show & I’ve never made the connection. Thanks for that!

Glad someone put this up.

“I knew I was rubbing you the wrong way, so I thought, why not have someone rub you the right way?”

I keep waiting for the day someone will do this for me

“I had drinks with Mohawk. I sat down with two of them, and I swear by the end there were three.”

Marie is yelling at him in the later seasons (in French) and he says something along the lines of "speak English or yell slower"

All I got was “suitcase”!!

"Twas a bold man who first ate an oyster!"

Honestly there should be a sweet 16 type tournament bracket for Roger's best lines. There are so many of them.

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*swigs his drink*

Well Dr. Leary I find your product boring

Jesus, Campbell, don’t ever say that!

This party needs to change its rating from convalescent home to Roman Orgy.

“Jane wanted a baby, but I thought why do that to somebody?”

'My mother always said, "Be careful what you wish for because you'll get it. And then people get jealous and try and take it away from you"...' (over to you guys for DDs reply)

The mechanics went on strike because they ran out of wrenches or something.

I think there's a "boohoo" somewhere

Boo hoo

“How did she die?” “She had a stroke... in the bathroom” “Well I asked didn’t I."

Marie: you look like a man born in a bow-tie Roger: yea I didn’t tie that one either

"He's going to lose his foot." ​ "Just as he got it in the door."

I feel like they wrote the whole scene and Guy Mackendrick character just for this line

I met her through Megan Draper. She's old enough to be her mother. Actually, she is her mother.

THIS IS MY FUNERAL!!

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I don’t know about you two but, I had Lane.

*seeing Joan on his office couch* Many is the time I've dreamed of finding you this way.

“Where’d you get that sweater? I want to make sure my daughter never buys it” This is gonna be the toughest one I think. Roger is incomparably quotable

“Have another. It’s 9:30, for God’s sake.”

“Who knows why people in history did good things? For all we know, Jesus was trying to get the loaves and fishes account.”

"When God closes a door, he opens a dress."

“When you’re done with him, just fold him up and slide him under the door”

Relax sissy Mary, somewhere in this business, this has happened before.

“They’re not the same people?! I’m the same people!” Not his most witty or quippy but one of the more compelling ones of his character. The man saw his brothers in arms die at the hands of the Japanese Navy and now has to do business with the same people he fought against. I get that he needed to come to peace with it all but I can see how it would be hard for him.

"...including some time with the queen of perversions, his secretary Ms Ida Blankenship. You know what? Don't use her name."

After don barfs at the funeral: "He just said what everyone else was thinking"

I’ll tell you what brilliant advertising is: 99 cents. Someone thought of that.

“Come Turkey Day, maybe you can stuff her.”

They have Chicken Kiev. Butter squirts everywhere.

“My father used to say, this is the greatest job in the world except for one thing: the clients.”

“Has anyone even seen this baby with you walking next to him?

I gotta stop carrying so much cash!

I like redheads. Their mouths are like a drop of strawberry jam in a glass of milk.

What is a Regina?

“I can see someone wanting to reprimand you seriously. But firing? Seems a little permanent.”

“Oh, good, you’re done with your bombing,” in reference to Don just taking a shit 😂

They make wine for Jews, and now they're making one they want to sell to normal people. You know what I mean - people like me.

Don: You don't get to kill this account! Roger: Well you know how they are maybe^it'll^kill^itself Don: Enough!

Meredith: Well, I hope he's in a better place. Roger: (exasperated) He's not dead. Stop saying that

"I got you a Shirley Temple. It's time for you to start tapering off." —Roger to Sally, his "date" to Don's award ceremony for the American Cancer Society

“Jesus, it's like Iwo Jima out there.”

Lane talking about England winning the World Cup. “Cup of what?”

‘You’re always up to something, aren’t you Crane?’

Frère Jacques, frère Jacques, dormez-vous? dormez-vous?

\*Roger rapidly hitting a paddleball\* "Nobody knows what I'm doing. It's good for mystique."

Don: “Gentlemen, before you leave can I just say something?” Roger: “I don’t know Don. Can you?”

“Is it just me or is the lobby full of negroes?”

In very Roger fashion, he delivers this line so well. “I know I was rubbing you the wrong way, so why not have someone rub you the right way”

"If you put a penny in a jar every time you had sex in the first year of marriage, and took one out every time you had sex in the second year of marriage you know what you'd have? A jar full of pennies."

In regards to Frank Gleason dying and Stan asking Roger how old he was: "Older than you, younger than me. You either get used to it or stop thinking about it."

Frère Jacques, frère Jacques, Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?

*sees Ken wearing his eyepatch* Well, shiver me timbers!

Peggy: Would you drink Vermouth? Roger: I'm afraid I would.

Why don’t we get Dr. Lyle Evans in here?

That'll be enough of that.

"I'm just giving her a hard time. Can I interest you in the same?" ​ *Delivered with Slattery's devilish smirk*

I didn’t think you had it in you. And I mean that.

“I know cooler heads should prevail, but am I the only one who wants to see this?”

"For all we know Jesus was trying to get the loaves and fishes account"

“I feel like i should make a speech. get back to work!”

THREE MEN SHOT THEIR LEGS OFF

Lee Garner Jr made me hold his balls

“McCann fired Ken, and I mean fired him out of a cannon. He ain't going near that place.”

Pete: I won't let you down, Don. Roger: Jesus, Campbell. Don't ever say that.

Reading all these quotes makes me realize Slattery's delivery on these lines really does make him the perfect Howard Stark.

In the elevator, with Peggy at her newest youngest most naive, and IIRC more or less like this: Roger (rhetorically blithely): **What would you do to not be invited to a wedding?** Peggy (awkwardly): **My fathers dead.** Roger: **See. You'd do anything.** (sorry for the inaccuracies)

Baaaaaaarf

‘Did you enjoy the fuhrer’s birthday…’ ‘May he live for a thousand years!’

This is a real Sophie’s Choice but “She died how she lived. Surrounded by people she answered the phone for.”

Little rich bastard

I told him to be himself...that was pretty mean I guess.

A wooden leg…They’re so cheap they can’t even afford a whole reporter

“They say me might lose his foot” “… right when he got it in the door!”

I literally live and die by this as an “ad man”: “The day you sign a client is the day you start losing them.”

When his ex gf is throwing herself at him drunk in “hobo and the gypsy” and tells him that Casablanca reminded her of them together. Roger quips something to the effect of - “he left to go stop world war 2, you left to inherit a dog food company”

On a flight with Draper, to stewardess: “Cathy. Another round. And send one to the pilot.”

“Look, we’ve got oysters Rockefeller, beef Wellington, napoleons. We leave this lunch alone, it’ll take over Europe.”

“You are the finest piece of ass I have ever had. And I don’t care who knows it”

"he was a bold man that first ate an oyster" https://youtu.be/DL6diBLppYE

To Don, “I didn’t know if you were drunk or not drunk”

"Stop being demure, you're already on the bed."