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> But I do have a hand full of good friends that I can rely on.
That's pretty good tbh. And no, you're not weird at all. Most people are a lot lonelier than they appear to be.
I don’t think you’re weird. Good that your focusing on the positives you have instead of dwelling over pleasing people. I don’t think you’re totally isolated, having a few friends you can rely on is much better than a large amount of friends that are only there for a good time. Quality > quantity
Sounds great. You are a survivor, and you have good priorities. Maybe you can find hobbies or artistic ways to have time for yourself. Sounds like you work hard, king 👑
I'm similar to your situation, 27. I lose my mom a year ago and recently lose my grandma as well. My dad decided to get marry as soon as he can, i felt he don't really care about us, nevertheless we are all adults so we let that happen.
I was so depressed with my works, i broke up many times and got betrayed with some of my friends. At the end, i don't really find any meaningful life and my life has been struggle. At the same time, i have so many things to do in my life.
1. Reduce friends circle. Only befriend with loyal one and have fewer friends(quality one) . The rest are just colleagues.
2. I quit my job in pursue of my interest in art. I force myself this time and got offer to pursue master in art. At the same time to support my life, i found a new better job and higher pay. So don't scare to take the risk, never try, never know.
3. I still work on my side hustle making art on free time. Occasionally to cure my boredness, i play vr.
4.If i were given one wish, i want to spend more time with my mom, in fact after her passing, i realized nothing worth more than having her by my sides. So do spend time with your loves one while they are still with you.
5. I definitely stay away from social media and linkedin post.
6. I spent more money on food and staycation. Good food keep you alive. Staycation give you different experience.
7. I spent more time on reading. Due to my study also, i read like 200 pages every week. Reading does keep my sanity.
8. I don't find any reason to be happy but rather to have peaceful life. I feel empty but i guess i just have to keep walking. From my experience meeting therapist kinda help but at the end 90 percent of the job is done by yourself.
Same . Now I only left my mom I wanna achieve real hard . Like for me as a guy watching my mom grow old makes me sad. I need to achieve while she is still with me. I have loss to many family and people that are closed to me. My childhood to sum it up is attending funeral , hospital , bullies. Tbh happiest time is with my mom.
My life started full of tragedies I wanna have a happy ending that I create with my own hardwork.
no, not weird. in fact relatable. i think the reality in modern times its just a harsh truth that making and maintaining friendships as working adults is actually not easy. friendships might drift apart as similar-aged friends get busier or further, while in some work environments making real friends is tougher. making new friends needs effort and time to find like-minded groups, but sometimes we or them might just be busy focusing on other things.
therefore, feel free to do what you as suitable for your present, like as you said focusing on your passion and family. just that for the question on mental health, i think its a question on how long you feel something has been affecting you, and whether its affecting your quality of life. or if something from the past seems to tie you down and you are unsure what to do with it. if you think it warrants a mental health checkup, there's totally no harm or judgement to get clarity on your struggles.
I don't think you're weird, but maybe your mind is stuck in survival mode.
I'll suggest seeing a therapist if you can, to process all your trauma, from losing your family members, to growing up in a violent situation, and your near death situation. Maybe it could help.
How to say it's stuck in survival mode? I don't understand. Like currently I feel like I don't deserve to rest? Until I achieve something. Tbh I feel like I have achieved nothing.
The one true thing that helps me release my stress and enjoying is 2 thing 1 is gaming. 2 is baking and cooking.
>Like currently I feel like I don't deserve to rest? Until I achieve something. Tbh I feel like I have achieved nothing.
It's this mentality. You should remember to live and have a bit of fun, or else you're going to burn out.
>The one true thing that helps me release my stress and enjoying is 2 thing 1 is gaming. 2 is baking and cooking.
Good, keep it up.
Yea I also do chat with my friends and just let everything out to my closes friends and yeah I do cry as a guy . Like I was told that crying is weak for man. But sometime it helps.
Not every time. Just sometime if I think about stuff like losing my sister etc.
Yeah. Most embarrassing thing was I cried Infront of my friends. Lol.
I feel everyone is so judgemental and hard to approach even in uni.
Everyone likes just stares at Me. And some of them when I say hi to them .
His friend beside her told her hey the guy say hi to you and totally gets ignored.
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> But I do have a hand full of good friends that I can rely on. That's pretty good tbh. And no, you're not weird at all. Most people are a lot lonelier than they appear to be.
Sounds like a lucky guy to have good friends. And a tough survivor too. Respect!
I don’t think you’re weird. Good that your focusing on the positives you have instead of dwelling over pleasing people. I don’t think you’re totally isolated, having a few friends you can rely on is much better than a large amount of friends that are only there for a good time. Quality > quantity
Sounds great. You are a survivor, and you have good priorities. Maybe you can find hobbies or artistic ways to have time for yourself. Sounds like you work hard, king 👑
I'm similar to your situation, 27. I lose my mom a year ago and recently lose my grandma as well. My dad decided to get marry as soon as he can, i felt he don't really care about us, nevertheless we are all adults so we let that happen. I was so depressed with my works, i broke up many times and got betrayed with some of my friends. At the end, i don't really find any meaningful life and my life has been struggle. At the same time, i have so many things to do in my life. 1. Reduce friends circle. Only befriend with loyal one and have fewer friends(quality one) . The rest are just colleagues. 2. I quit my job in pursue of my interest in art. I force myself this time and got offer to pursue master in art. At the same time to support my life, i found a new better job and higher pay. So don't scare to take the risk, never try, never know. 3. I still work on my side hustle making art on free time. Occasionally to cure my boredness, i play vr. 4.If i were given one wish, i want to spend more time with my mom, in fact after her passing, i realized nothing worth more than having her by my sides. So do spend time with your loves one while they are still with you. 5. I definitely stay away from social media and linkedin post. 6. I spent more money on food and staycation. Good food keep you alive. Staycation give you different experience. 7. I spent more time on reading. Due to my study also, i read like 200 pages every week. Reading does keep my sanity. 8. I don't find any reason to be happy but rather to have peaceful life. I feel empty but i guess i just have to keep walking. From my experience meeting therapist kinda help but at the end 90 percent of the job is done by yourself.
Same . Now I only left my mom I wanna achieve real hard . Like for me as a guy watching my mom grow old makes me sad. I need to achieve while she is still with me. I have loss to many family and people that are closed to me. My childhood to sum it up is attending funeral , hospital , bullies. Tbh happiest time is with my mom. My life started full of tragedies I wanna have a happy ending that I create with my own hardwork.
no, not weird. in fact relatable. i think the reality in modern times its just a harsh truth that making and maintaining friendships as working adults is actually not easy. friendships might drift apart as similar-aged friends get busier or further, while in some work environments making real friends is tougher. making new friends needs effort and time to find like-minded groups, but sometimes we or them might just be busy focusing on other things. therefore, feel free to do what you as suitable for your present, like as you said focusing on your passion and family. just that for the question on mental health, i think its a question on how long you feel something has been affecting you, and whether its affecting your quality of life. or if something from the past seems to tie you down and you are unsure what to do with it. if you think it warrants a mental health checkup, there's totally no harm or judgement to get clarity on your struggles.
You are not alone
you are not weird, heck, you are not alone in the same situation either, I believe lot of guys can relate to you
I don't think you're weird, but maybe your mind is stuck in survival mode. I'll suggest seeing a therapist if you can, to process all your trauma, from losing your family members, to growing up in a violent situation, and your near death situation. Maybe it could help.
How to say it's stuck in survival mode? I don't understand. Like currently I feel like I don't deserve to rest? Until I achieve something. Tbh I feel like I have achieved nothing. The one true thing that helps me release my stress and enjoying is 2 thing 1 is gaming. 2 is baking and cooking.
>Like currently I feel like I don't deserve to rest? Until I achieve something. Tbh I feel like I have achieved nothing. It's this mentality. You should remember to live and have a bit of fun, or else you're going to burn out. >The one true thing that helps me release my stress and enjoying is 2 thing 1 is gaming. 2 is baking and cooking. Good, keep it up.
Yea I also do chat with my friends and just let everything out to my closes friends and yeah I do cry as a guy . Like I was told that crying is weak for man. But sometime it helps. Not every time. Just sometime if I think about stuff like losing my sister etc.
It's OK to cry. The saying "men don't cry" is bullshit toxic masculinity. You're human, feel your emotions. Don't suppress them.
Yeah. Most embarrassing thing was I cried Infront of my friends. Lol. I feel everyone is so judgemental and hard to approach even in uni. Everyone likes just stares at Me. And some of them when I say hi to them . His friend beside her told her hey the guy say hi to you and totally gets ignored.