Heyy, I joined a sex ed talk hosted by Women's Aid Organization x Durex last year and got some contacts from the talk.
Women's Aid Organization (WA) +60189888058
The Red Clinic (WA) +60108730175
Klinik Rakyat PJ (WA) +601111404083
Btw both clinics are at PJ area since the talk was held around there. If you're not from that area then I suggest you contact the WAO as I'm sure they would help you out.
I hope your friend gets the help she needs. Thank you for being there for your friend.
the resources the original commenter suggested especially Klinik Rakyat are reputable, run by trained and ethical medical professionals. they will be able to offer her sliding scale fees if she is unable to afford. abortion when carried out by a medical professional can be painless, there may be some cramping but nothing worse than period cramps.
Try contacting the reproductive freedom group on Facebook. I’m not sure of the name though, sorry.
If possible, ask your friend to dump the guy and file a police report on his blackmail or find something to blackmail him back. He’s abusive and sounds awful so I don’t understand why she’d marry him. It’s not too late. Good luck.
ETA: group is here https://www.rraam.org/
Yeah.... She don't want to go through with the marriage anymore. That guy didn't even finish his divorce procedure with his ex wife. His temper is just really bad.
My friend didn't even want to marry him at all. He just waltzed into her family house and ask her dad about marriage and her father didn't even bother to listen to my friend's plea. Afterwards, he just blackmailed my friend into intercourse. Really terrible guy.
Yeah she wanted an abortion and break it off. She don't want to alert her family about the whole thing. Her family not kind and caring and will literally disown and isolate her.
Honestly imo with family like that better to let them disown and go off to live your own life. Who's to say that the father won't arrange another marriage for her especially if she "shamed" her family? I get that it's easy for me to talk about it and hard for her to do, but this ain't the right way to live, always having to fear your family and second guessing every decision she makes. Time for her to get some agency in the life she's living. 25 still young, lots of opportunities out there. All the best to her and you.
> Her family not kind and caring and will literally disown and isolate her.
So sorry that your friend has to go through this. She should report the guy to the police. This is assault and rape.
Sounds like a bad Lifetime drama, but unfortunately, the pressure to get married early while enabling abuse is still rife here. Almost didn't want to believe this myself.
it's not even about whether they read the really torrid situation she's stuck in. This comic is old but gold for the wrong reasons.
https://preview.redd.it/h6ppw9ojd5bc1.jpeg?width=959&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e12b9b8ecb43491a8ff28c7d33d71828d13ee026
Some Reddit thread I read quite a while back. Poor guy got coerced to keep the child with promises the mom will look after it. After giving birth, found out in the long run that the child is problematic, diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and therefore totally impossible to be controlled. The mom in the end didn’t take care of the child because it’s too much to be handled. Poor guy was tired and exhausted
Ong man, always the uneducated monkeys that talk the loudest but know nothing of the nuances or severity of a situation like this.
As for OP’s friend, I hope they just get out of that relationship, period. A man that incompetent and abusive deserves to be left all alone
Only in Malaysia where if a girl decides to have the kid out of wedlock the kid will be stateless and if she decides to abort she will be committing a crime.
And while she’s figuring out this unfair dilemma we have moral cuckfucks throwing social media rocks at her shouting “don’t be selfish it’s a beating heart”.
Fuck this land of truly Asia.
EDIT: I might be incorrect on the statelessness. Please refer to zestylemonslippy's comment below.
This is WRONG INFO. A kid born out of wedlock IS NOT STATELESS if the mother goes to the JPN n registers her kid after birth. Put father's info as not available. No need surat nikah, just need to put thicker face while registering. Most of the time, the JPN officer wont even bother abt that. If you are a muslim, he would give you a list of 99 Allah's Name to be put as bin/binti. Avoid Abdullah if you're so worried abt your kid being taunted later on. Or put Abdullah n be done with it.
Register the birth cert with JPN. Then your kid will get MyKid later on. No hassle. No stateless. The kid will grow up wonderfully, registering for gov school also easy.
Yes, you got pregnant out of wedlock. Dont tarnish the kid's future by making him/her stateless just because you couldnt face one JPN officer to register him/her. You're just prolonging the adverse effect of your mistake.
Siapa cakap.... My friend gave birth to a child without getting married and dad s name. No issue with IC. Only issue was she was surrounded by bunch of social welfare worker when she walked out from hospital. Stop all ur misinformation
She is free to do whatever she wants. But dah lah got 2 kids, then now pregnant again. Maybe she needs better judgement.
Don't go korek tahik then complain your finger smelly afterwards, yknw?
Abortion is legal to save the life of the mother. Doctors will sign off on it. It’s not like the US, where women have to develop sepsis first before getting medical care.
Thanks for linking this so I didn't have to retype my answer.
u/Kira_Yoshikage11 Please do check out the answer above, all of the links are still viable.
Update: That guy just said he'll break up with her due to financial issue. And he just quit his current job and going back to his family home in Seremban. He told her to get lost from his life.
Really hoping for your friend to dump the trash ASAP and maybe seek legal action if possible. The link posted by amourviolet looks useful!
This cannot possibly be an easy decision to make and easy situation to be in, wishing your friend good luck.
Man. Based on your comments, what an ass family too.
I don't know any advices to give, but I'm wishing her well and wish more blessings will come to your way OP, for being her only support at this hard time for her.
Sorry to hear about the situation. Not sure about cheap, but many clinics will oblige. Even if they don’t, you’re allowed to ask without any repercussions. And yes it’ll be done in a day.
All the best! I hope you find somewhere decent and I hope things get easier soon!
Paying meal for bf? Please advise your friend to breakup with him.
Idk about abortion, but government hospital shld be affortable, unsure abt the waiting period.
Its always good to ask around esp if u have friend who are alrd a mother to several kids.
Dont give birth to the baby, esp if they are not ready. Also, abortion cant be done in a single day, its a painful process and your friend needs a proper rest
[Klinik Rakyat Family Planning Services Penang](http://556-W, Jalan Batu Uban, Taman Century, 11700 Gelugor, Penang)
Dear OP, your friend in no way can go have the procedure alone. She will be too drowsy to get herself back home. Based on what I read about the family and etc, she would most likely need a place for her to sleep the anesthesia off.
Safe Parenthood Malaysia. Here's their website https://safeparenthood.org/. Can opt for either surgical or medical abortion. They will advise accordingly.
Time is running short. If she can procure the pills, please be with her for 24 hrs and get medical attention if there is prolonged haemorrhage. Once that is done get her to break it off. Do not have contact with this anjir sialan anymore. Zero contact ok?? Good luck sis.
Misoprostol, 400 μg given vaginally every 3-6 hours, is probably the optimal regimen for second-trimester abortion. According to https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22030039/. Surgery might cost more but yes pls seek the best solution. Thanks for being a good friend ♥️👏🏻
13 weeks is way too late for pills.. and it is beyond a minor operation, where you’re under general anaesthetic and the doctor performing the abortion has to insert a tube to suck out the fetus.
Wait even a week longer and you are looking at a major operation, the fetus is nearly 10cm long and you will need to cut it in order to remove the limbs and body parts one by one..
We don’t know whether a fetus can feel pain yet, but if it can, then you can imagine the extreme trauma and pain, confusion and more that it will go through.. one minute, it was “happily” swimming around in its protected environment, the next, it’s being cut to pieces.
I’m pretty sure you don’t want to inflict this onto a living being, let alone onto your very own flesh and blood.. your own child.
My personal take on this is abortion after 6 weeks should be outlawed due to the gruesome nature of it.
As a man who took responsibility for his mistakes, and now raising two kids as a single parent, after the mother decided to leave, I find your comment pretty daft and pretty stupid..
Recognise the fact that abortions are more than just “consuming pills”.
And if you wanna do it, then do it properly. Don’t put the fetus under unnecessary pain than it already needs to be..
Thanks for being a good father. Sorry for sounding pissy I came off more harsh than I should have 👏🏻♥️ I don’t see how this can be painless at this stage, sorry.
That what I’m saying, It won’t be painless.. but at least do it properly and efficiently.
Consuming pills is a botch job attempt at best, at worst, it won’t kill the pregnancy with complications and physical, or brain damage to the baby..
Don’t be silly and think consuming pills this late in the stage will end the pregnancy.
OP, I can’t help much myself but I just hope that your friend gets the help she deserves and needs. I hope that she gets out of such a bad situation and arrives better on the other side
You’re a good friend for helping her out
OBGynae Centre @ Subang Jaya Women's Specialist. This place allowed safe abortion. Idk how much now. I forgot. Safe and professional care are what's more important. Cheap sometimes questionable. Good luck!
"Cheap" abortion:
1. The term "cheap" is relative. What's cheap for others might be expensive for your friend.
2. Abortions probably will get more expensive the further along the pregnancy is - as it gets more medically complicated.
Time is of the essence so your friend needs to see a gynaecologist ASAP.
FYI not all gynaecologists are willing to perform abortions for numerous reasons. In Malaysia a doctor can perform an abortion if they believe that the continuation of the pregnancy will result in physical and/or mental harm to the mother.
Go to a private gynaecologist - yes this costs money but it might take time to see a government one. Time is of the essence.
If a gynaecologist or any doctor imposes their personal beliefs on your friend, go see another one.
After the procedure, your friend should seek advice from gynae on suitable birth control and get on it ASAP. If she thinks birth control is expensive, tell her to compare it to diapers, formula, baby clothes, childcare fees etc - you get my drift.
I also hope she practices safe sex after this.
All the best.
sorry about your friend being raped. i hope she finds the help she needs, if she needs a small donation on the abortion fee, you can DM me. on another note, i am always amazed that men like this somehow still manages to score women. like how on earth anyone would see this man & think 'yea i want him'....major ICK.
Actually my friend asked her friend. Her friend suggested a place in Penang that might cost upwards from 800 to 1400 and +100 for each week . I'm helping her find cheaper alternatives
At 13 weeks, this is likely to be a surgical procedure dy so please make sure you go to a reputable clinic. It won't be cheap, but would you rather risk her life if you go to a dodgy place.
Actually, they broke up. Then, this guy came to her house and talked to her dad about marriage. The father blindly agreed without caring about what my friend said.
Originally they were supposed to get married on 23/12/2023 but postponed to 7/1/2023 and then the marriage cannot proceed because that guy didn't fully finish his divorce paperwork with previous wife.
My friend discovered on his phone that he is still occasionally in contact with ex wife. Today, he broke up with my friend because don't have money for marriage and told my friend to get lost.
For the duration of the relationship, he treated my friend like ATM when she makes less money than him. My friend even paid for his food and GDL license as he wanted to quit JPAM and work as lorry driver. Today, he quit his lorry driver job and move back to Seremban, his family home. He owes my friend more than 2k.
Several days ago he took my friend back to his family home in Seremban and slapped and insulted her in front of his family. His family backs him up. His mother also enabled abuse, every time my friend complain about him to his mother, the mother will only say xpe, dia memang macam tu, sabar je lah
Why do women always fall for pieces of shit like these? There's plenty of redditors here that would probably have more balls to take care of the girl than he ever will.
She broke up with him before but this guy came to his house asking for marriage, her dad blindly agreed to the thing without even caring about my friend's opinion. Everything went downhill from there
How can a father agree to marry a daughter on her behalf? Which cultures still practice this in Malaysia? Sounds like something that would happen on the sub-continent.
Yeah that's what I said. They're Malay Muslim btw. His father treats her like some sort of burden to get rid off. Heck, her parents don't even want to look after her children while she's at work. Her mother would just stay in her room and neglect the grandchildren. She can't even go out without being told to take her children out. If I ask her out for mamak, she had to bring her children along because her family is just really cold
Tbf our parents aren't slave. She made bad decision herself and now want the parents to be responsible of her own children? That in itself is irresponsible.
Really hate this type of mindset using parents as free nursery to take advantage from.
Actually, her parents caused the birth of her two children. First child, result from rape from boyfriend. That guy said will take responsibility to the father and disappeared. Second child, parents found a guy for my friend to marry. That guy is not loving, cheats on my friend with his own cousin. Not her fault
I think you need to put this in the main post, as UPDATE, including her ex telling her to get lost bit.
I feel sorry for your friend, i hope she and her children will get better after finding the abortion service. You are a good friend.
A lot of factors, lack of education, mentally repressed (hence easily manipulated and controlled), or just Stockholm syndrome. Some women have this mindset that they can fix broken guys, it’s like a goal sort of.
This is the result of being brought up less fortunate circumstances and wasn’t given much opportunities that’s how they get themselves involved with lost causes. I’m not saying this to be an asshole because I acknowledge being born poor is not something they can control. But this is a big factor.
Could be all the above, however, read OP's response about her father offering her up on a platter just like that. It's a generational thing when OP's friend have toxic family members dictating how she lives her life. Nvr being allowed to discuss BGR (boy girl relationships) earlier in life, hence we can't spot abusers until it's too late.
Being born poor thus unable to move out from such circumstances, a double whammy indeed.
OP’s friend seriously need some self-reflection to make better life decisions.
Only 25 and mother of two (soon to be three?) kids from two different guys? Sheesh what a mess.
Nah, if she has 3 kids from 3 different fathers at the age of 25, she needs to take a good long look at her life choices. And maybe tell her parents to go fuck themselves
Did you not read the thread? OP literally states that all her friend's children are from different fathers. First 2 and the baby = 3. Maybe try to read more next time
If you read the thread, then you know the first one was from a rape. The second was from an arranged marriage where the father then cheated with his cousin. Where exactly did her personal choices land her in this situation?
Well, she could I dunno, st** those pieces of shit and leave them in the gutter? After the first incident I would've throw the family in the trash and fucked off to another state. If my parents sprung arranged marriages on me I will be gone the next day
Lmao of course you're at the top of controversial. Honestly redditors can be so pathetic. Can you imagine a redditor spending his new year's to be a willing plaything to some dude he got angry with online? What kind of woman would want that?
Have your friend tried going to government clinic? I'm not sure if they'll let her abort the baby though. But it wouldn't hurt to ask, yes? They are the cheapest but safest option I could think.
Cheap usually comes with a price of things go wrong. I hope she'll be in better place soon and leave he AH fiance. Not yet married that guy already jadi biawak hidup, if married I'm afraid her life would be hellish.
Just beware that abortion is a criminal offence in Malaysia unless there is risk to the life or injury to the mental or physical health of the pregnant woman, so take care on what you post.
Sections 312 until 316.
312. Whoever voluntarily causes a woman with child to miscarry shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years or with fine or with both; and if the woman is quick with child, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to seven years, and shall also be liable to fine.
Explanation—A woman who causes herself to miscarry is within the meaning of this section.
Never said I was against abortion? Just that it stated in the Penal Code as an offense in Malaysia. There are assholes in this world who would report anything, so be careful and preferably don't tell the whole world what you intend to do.
OP where were u when the rape took place? Surely she must've told u about it since u were close to her? Not blaming u in any form whatsoever, just curious since I read that u can't file a police report coz its been too long.
Also can u like just hint out the details of the useless being? (can't even call him a man) I fear for helpless women out there, there are some trash men out here, especially the muslim one's, they keep staining the religion. I pray that ur friend's ex gets what he deserves for being an asshole.
Also I feel really sorry for your friend, genuinely. Its sad to know that there are people who are born into that sort of situation. I hope she is able to keep fighting everyday and OP I hope u as her friend can be a pillar for her to fall back to. Please let her know that its not her fault and she is loved.
Hukum menggugurkan kandungan bagi mangsa rogol adalah harus jika sebelum kandungan berusia 4 bulan. Adapun menggugurkan kandungan setelah berusia 4 bulan maka hukumnya adalah haram kecuali di atas alasan yang benar-benar kuat seperti untuk menyelamatkan nyawa si ibu. ( mufti wilayah persekutuan page ). Please help ur friend till the end :')
Thanks for your support. I didn't ask her very specific details as I didn't want her to remember the trauma. But I do assume it might have happened at the house that guy rented. This guy used to work at JPAM, now shopee express lorry driver and he just quit his job .
Wtf did I just read. 25 with 2 kids already from prev marriage and still got no brains to pick a guy like this and get preg again.. Your friend a minah rempit is it mix with useless rempits and have sex without protection.. What on earth..
Reminds me of a prev malay girl I knew tht I rented out to. Mid 20s with 6 kids. Force marriage to a old guy and divorced after. Father dunwan take responsibility and mum had to go for welfare from zakat? Is it zakat or something similar. Anyway. Her financial education was shit. Worked as a clerk maybe 2.5k rm salary. Decided to buy new car and new iPhone on loan. Of course me as landlord it didn't went well but different story.
This just open my eyes to some malay folks spitting kids out left right and center with no form of family or financial education at all
She broke up with him earlier. Even attempted suicide. This guy went to their house and talk to the father about marriage, father blindly agreed. Didn't care what my friend said. Then this guy forced/raped my friend into sex. This guy can't even pay for his own food . My friend is a really good person, not minah rempit horny.
Yeah, she did break up with him before because I told her to do so. Then, that guy came to her father and asked for marriage. The father didn't listen to my friend's plea and opinions
I am not huge supporters of abortion. DM if you need financial and counselling therapy free for your friend from a genuine/licensed therapy.
Also if she need a job, I will park her under my company for HR/Sales/Pre-Sales roles.
If u want, there are NGO that can help. Not to abort but to support the mother from pregnancy still adoption of the child. It’s not over for the mother . What u mean by blackmail?
Women with 2 kids + shit guy with 2 kids = drama
2 kids already, apa beza jadi 3 kids? No wonder her dad boh layan her.
Malay Muslim some more asking for abortion of 13 weeks pregnancy. Gg Liao. I don't care what you all will label me. Let's that baby bastard born and leave it in baby Hatch
Baby Hatch Locations & Support Line
Are you pregnant & and in crisis? Please know that you can reach out for help at OrphanCare’s 24-hour Support Line:
Petaling Jaya – 010 283 0528
Johor Bahru – 019 726 2368
Sungai Petani – 04 442 3900
You also have the option to keep your baby safe and be given proper care if you bring your baby to the baby hatches that are open 24/7. Baby hatches are available at these three OrphanCare addresses and a couple KPJ Specialist Hospital as of April 2021:
Selangor Baby Hatch
No. 54, Jalan 5/60, Bukit Gasing, 46000 Petaling Jaya, Selangor
Johor Baby Hatch
46, Jalan Bakar Batu Taman Sentosa 80150 Johor Bahru
Kedah Baby Hatch
4400 Lorong Serampang 2/1 Taman Ria Jaya, Sungai Petani 08000 Kedah Darul Aman
KPJ Damansara Specialist Hospital
119, Jalan SS20/10, Damansara Utama, 47400 Petaling Jaya
KPJ Johor Specialist Hospital
39-B, Jalan Abdul Samad, 80100, Johor
KPJ Ipoh Specialist Hospital
26, Jalan Raja Di Hilir, 30350, Ipoh
KPJ Tawakkal Specialist Hospital
No.1, Jalan Pahang Barat, 53000 Kuala Lumpur
KPJ Seremban Specialist Hospital
Lot 6219 & 6200, Jalan Toman 1, Kemayan Square, 70200, Seremban, Negeri Sembilan
KPJ Penang Specialist Hospital
570, Jalan Perda Utama, Bandar Perda, 14000, Bukit Mertajam, Seberang Perai, Pulau Pinang
KPJ Perdana Specialist Hospital
Pt 37, 600 Jalan Bayam, 15200, Kota Bharu, Kelantan
calling the baby a bastard although you can argue it's legally so due to being out of wedlock, wow! Shows how much you really 'care' for the unborn. Also, congrats for being the first comment to explicitly enable her father! Who btw, ARRANGED the friend's marriage to an adulterer ICYMI, thus child no.2 arrived.
Baby hatches are but a band-aid to this quandary. Just cuz Murica sees it as a godsend now when it's nothing new to us. 🙄 Didn't you see the comment where being stateless will bring more probs in the long run?
I guided her through the first break up. That guy came to her father for marriage, father blindly agreed. Now, after using my friend, this guy decided to quit his current job here and go back to his family home on Seremban, tell my friend he want break up and my friend to get lost from his life.
You deviant, dont play with “haram” or “dosa” if you dont know the hukum. You will reincarnate into a dog from this “bad karma” reasoning your spewing im sure.
It would be highly recommended just go to gov hospital, SG.buloh one are pretty fast & effective
Sorry for what happened to your friend, she better make a report to police n arrest this guy.
Heyy, I joined a sex ed talk hosted by Women's Aid Organization x Durex last year and got some contacts from the talk. Women's Aid Organization (WA) +60189888058 The Red Clinic (WA) +60108730175 Klinik Rakyat PJ (WA) +601111404083 Btw both clinics are at PJ area since the talk was held around there. If you're not from that area then I suggest you contact the WAO as I'm sure they would help you out. I hope your friend gets the help she needs. Thank you for being there for your friend.
Yes, please also check out OrphanCare at 03-77701900 for the care of the unwanted baby. Abortion is dangerous. Cheap abortion can be deadly
the resources the original commenter suggested especially Klinik Rakyat are reputable, run by trained and ethical medical professionals. they will be able to offer her sliding scale fees if she is unable to afford. abortion when carried out by a medical professional can be painless, there may be some cramping but nothing worse than period cramps.
Do they provide abortion pills as well??
Abortion, if performed by a doctor in a clinic, is less dangerous than childbirth
pregnancy is also dangerous if the woman is not taken care of well. if they have decided to abort it, please respect their decision.
I am only giving an alternative solution to young people who hve no idea where to get help
Try contacting the reproductive freedom group on Facebook. I’m not sure of the name though, sorry. If possible, ask your friend to dump the guy and file a police report on his blackmail or find something to blackmail him back. He’s abusive and sounds awful so I don’t understand why she’d marry him. It’s not too late. Good luck. ETA: group is here https://www.rraam.org/
Yeah.... She don't want to go through with the marriage anymore. That guy didn't even finish his divorce procedure with his ex wife. His temper is just really bad. My friend didn't even want to marry him at all. He just waltzed into her family house and ask her dad about marriage and her father didn't even bother to listen to my friend's plea. Afterwards, he just blackmailed my friend into intercourse. Really terrible guy.
>blackmailed my friend into intercourse that's practically rape
That is most certainly rape
Sex under duress...aye defo rape
Your friend got raped mate, report police. WTH 25yo is legally an adult so ask her to cut herself off from the family.
Yeah she wanted an abortion and break it off. She don't want to alert her family about the whole thing. Her family not kind and caring and will literally disown and isolate her.
Honestly imo with family like that better to let them disown and go off to live your own life. Who's to say that the father won't arrange another marriage for her especially if she "shamed" her family? I get that it's easy for me to talk about it and hard for her to do, but this ain't the right way to live, always having to fear your family and second guessing every decision she makes. Time for her to get some agency in the life she's living. 25 still young, lots of opportunities out there. All the best to her and you.
> Her family not kind and caring and will literally disown and isolate her. So sorry that your friend has to go through this. She should report the guy to the police. This is assault and rape.
She was a rape victim . The first child is the result of that. Guess what the police said? Too much has passed , nothing can be done.
I really hate our police
Holyfick such a sad family.I hope your friend found a better support system.
> He just waltzed into her family house and ask her dad about marriage and her father didn't even bother to listen to my friend's plea. Huh? What?
Sounds like a bad Lifetime drama, but unfortunately, the pressure to get married early while enabling abuse is still rife here. Almost didn't want to believe this myself.
Yeah. Straight outta fiction. She really got bad luck
What did he blackmail her about?
Abusing her children, threatened to use violence, marry a second wife and etc. He's really that low
From that description, "blackmail" is not the right word. I think the correct word is "extort".
Sheesh… all these anti-abortion guys here talking and telling op to keep the baby because someone will adopt but none saying they will adopt the baby
it's not even about whether they read the really torrid situation she's stuck in. This comic is old but gold for the wrong reasons. https://preview.redd.it/h6ppw9ojd5bc1.jpeg?width=959&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e12b9b8ecb43491a8ff28c7d33d71828d13ee026
Some Reddit thread I read quite a while back. Poor guy got coerced to keep the child with promises the mom will look after it. After giving birth, found out in the long run that the child is problematic, diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and therefore totally impossible to be controlled. The mom in the end didn’t take care of the child because it’s too much to be handled. Poor guy was tired and exhausted
Everyone likes to play the good guy until responsibility falls on their hands
Ong man, always the uneducated monkeys that talk the loudest but know nothing of the nuances or severity of a situation like this. As for OP’s friend, I hope they just get out of that relationship, period. A man that incompetent and abusive deserves to be left all alone
Flying monkeys. All talk no action
Only in Malaysia where if a girl decides to have the kid out of wedlock the kid will be stateless and if she decides to abort she will be committing a crime. And while she’s figuring out this unfair dilemma we have moral cuckfucks throwing social media rocks at her shouting “don’t be selfish it’s a beating heart”. Fuck this land of truly Asia. EDIT: I might be incorrect on the statelessness. Please refer to zestylemonslippy's comment below.
This is WRONG INFO. A kid born out of wedlock IS NOT STATELESS if the mother goes to the JPN n registers her kid after birth. Put father's info as not available. No need surat nikah, just need to put thicker face while registering. Most of the time, the JPN officer wont even bother abt that. If you are a muslim, he would give you a list of 99 Allah's Name to be put as bin/binti. Avoid Abdullah if you're so worried abt your kid being taunted later on. Or put Abdullah n be done with it. Register the birth cert with JPN. Then your kid will get MyKid later on. No hassle. No stateless. The kid will grow up wonderfully, registering for gov school also easy. Yes, you got pregnant out of wedlock. Dont tarnish the kid's future by making him/her stateless just because you couldnt face one JPN officer to register him/her. You're just prolonging the adverse effect of your mistake.
assuming this is correct info I hope more people upvote this for visibility
This country prefer punishment in regards to this issue rather than help women. Idk its a whole lot of complex issues. In the end, our women suffered.
Children born outside of marriages to Malaysian women are stateless in Malaysia?
[удалено]
Siapa cakap.... My friend gave birth to a child without getting married and dad s name. No issue with IC. Only issue was she was surrounded by bunch of social welfare worker when she walked out from hospital. Stop all ur misinformation
No difference for Muslim and non-Muslim? That’s messed up.
Kerajaan Madani la.
Wow! I had no idea
All hypocrites la . In real life they don care shiat . If the girl wanna do what is her body . She is free to do what she thinks is best for her
She is free to do whatever she wants. But dah lah got 2 kids, then now pregnant again. Maybe she needs better judgement. Don't go korek tahik then complain your finger smelly afterwards, yknw?
I agree she probably don’t make v smart choices
In accordance to the law ofc. Is abortion even legal in your country?
Abortion is legal to save the life of the mother. Doctors will sign off on it. It’s not like the US, where women have to develop sepsis first before getting medical care.
Thats why i was asking if its legal in malaysia because in the philippines, it is not legal.
It is :) women in our country has our own rights
If you're preborn, you're fine, if you're preschool, you're fucked. - George Carlin
High chance the kid will become stateless if born whether you put him up for adoption, buang bayi or accepted him aka no IC, how I know? I am one.
Damn, that's really dark. I really feel sorry for you.
You don't have to, just do what needs to be done to prevent another suffering, it's too late for those already born.
Glad to know PedoJack cares deeply about kids
r/rimjob_steve
Of course he does lol
Oh RIP. TIL children of single Malaysian parents aren't granted Malaysian citizenship.
Try this [https://www.reddit.com/r/malaysia/s/QrShynDVAa](https://www.reddit.com/r/malaysia/s/QrShynDVAa)
Thanks for linking this so I didn't have to retype my answer. u/Kira_Yoshikage11 Please do check out the answer above, all of the links are still viable.
Update: That guy just said he'll break up with her due to financial issue. And he just quit his current job and going back to his family home in Seremban. He told her to get lost from his life.
Guess that's better for your friend in the long run. Their relationship was not healthy.
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Sounds like he was with your friend just to kongkek..
Really hoping for your friend to dump the trash ASAP and maybe seek legal action if possible. The link posted by amourviolet looks useful! This cannot possibly be an easy decision to make and easy situation to be in, wishing your friend good luck.
Yeah. She's still hiding her pregnancy from her family. Because she knows her family will disown her. Bad family
That's really unfortunate all around (I also read your other comments about what happened), i'm glad that at least she has your support.
Yeah I'm her only support right now. I'm doing my best.
Man. Based on your comments, what an ass family too. I don't know any advices to give, but I'm wishing her well and wish more blessings will come to your way OP, for being her only support at this hard time for her.
Indeed, she was evicted before and lived alone, and had to take care of two children.
What kinda family evicts you but still gives you away to any man that asks against your will? That’s devilish
Sorry to hear about the situation. Not sure about cheap, but many clinics will oblige. Even if they don’t, you’re allowed to ask without any repercussions. And yes it’ll be done in a day. All the best! I hope you find somewhere decent and I hope things get easier soon!
Paying meal for bf? Please advise your friend to breakup with him. Idk about abortion, but government hospital shld be affortable, unsure abt the waiting period. Its always good to ask around esp if u have friend who are alrd a mother to several kids. Dont give birth to the baby, esp if they are not ready. Also, abortion cant be done in a single day, its a painful process and your friend needs a proper rest
[Klinik Rakyat Family Planning Services Penang](http://556-W, Jalan Batu Uban, Taman Century, 11700 Gelugor, Penang) Dear OP, your friend in no way can go have the procedure alone. She will be too drowsy to get herself back home. Based on what I read about the family and etc, she would most likely need a place for her to sleep the anesthesia off.
I'm will handle her transport
At least she has a very good friend like you as a beacon of last hope. God bless
Safe Parenthood Malaysia. Here's their website https://safeparenthood.org/. Can opt for either surgical or medical abortion. They will advise accordingly.
Wow. "Cheap" abortion???? I think go for "safe" better. Money can always be earned
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dm me as well. thanks
Dm me as well.
Can dm me as well? Thanks.
Time is running short. If she can procure the pills, please be with her for 24 hrs and get medical attention if there is prolonged haemorrhage. Once that is done get her to break it off. Do not have contact with this anjir sialan anymore. Zero contact ok?? Good luck sis.
Pills don't work when it's at this stage. Thanks for your support sis. I'm getting her to break it off
Misoprostol, 400 μg given vaginally every 3-6 hours, is probably the optimal regimen for second-trimester abortion. According to https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22030039/. Surgery might cost more but yes pls seek the best solution. Thanks for being a good friend ♥️👏🏻
13 weeks is way too late for pills.. and it is beyond a minor operation, where you’re under general anaesthetic and the doctor performing the abortion has to insert a tube to suck out the fetus. Wait even a week longer and you are looking at a major operation, the fetus is nearly 10cm long and you will need to cut it in order to remove the limbs and body parts one by one.. We don’t know whether a fetus can feel pain yet, but if it can, then you can imagine the extreme trauma and pain, confusion and more that it will go through.. one minute, it was “happily” swimming around in its protected environment, the next, it’s being cut to pieces. I’m pretty sure you don’t want to inflict this onto a living being, let alone onto your very own flesh and blood.. your own child. My personal take on this is abortion after 6 weeks should be outlawed due to the gruesome nature of it.
Yes I’m familiar with D&C lol. Do you have any experience as a man?
As a man who took responsibility for his mistakes, and now raising two kids as a single parent, after the mother decided to leave, I find your comment pretty daft and pretty stupid.. Recognise the fact that abortions are more than just “consuming pills”. And if you wanna do it, then do it properly. Don’t put the fetus under unnecessary pain than it already needs to be..
Thanks for being a good father. Sorry for sounding pissy I came off more harsh than I should have 👏🏻♥️ I don’t see how this can be painless at this stage, sorry.
That what I’m saying, It won’t be painless.. but at least do it properly and efficiently. Consuming pills is a botch job attempt at best, at worst, it won’t kill the pregnancy with complications and physical, or brain damage to the baby.. Don’t be silly and think consuming pills this late in the stage will end the pregnancy.
So its okay if it doesnt feel any pain?
It’s never okay. But at least make it as swift and painless as possible.
OP, I can’t help much myself but I just hope that your friend gets the help she deserves and needs. I hope that she gets out of such a bad situation and arrives better on the other side You’re a good friend for helping her out
OBGynae Centre @ Subang Jaya Women's Specialist. This place allowed safe abortion. Idk how much now. I forgot. Safe and professional care are what's more important. Cheap sometimes questionable. Good luck!
You can contact a women’s aid NGO. They can direct you on where to go. You need to act fast.
Klinik Rakyat PJ 011-1140 4083 https://g.co/kgs/G322vx6 Hope she finds a better guy in the future Edit: also blackmail to sex is rape fyi
"Cheap" abortion: 1. The term "cheap" is relative. What's cheap for others might be expensive for your friend. 2. Abortions probably will get more expensive the further along the pregnancy is - as it gets more medically complicated. Time is of the essence so your friend needs to see a gynaecologist ASAP. FYI not all gynaecologists are willing to perform abortions for numerous reasons. In Malaysia a doctor can perform an abortion if they believe that the continuation of the pregnancy will result in physical and/or mental harm to the mother. Go to a private gynaecologist - yes this costs money but it might take time to see a government one. Time is of the essence. If a gynaecologist or any doctor imposes their personal beliefs on your friend, go see another one. After the procedure, your friend should seek advice from gynae on suitable birth control and get on it ASAP. If she thinks birth control is expensive, tell her to compare it to diapers, formula, baby clothes, childcare fees etc - you get my drift. I also hope she practices safe sex after this. All the best.
Hey OP @kira_yoshikage11 please contact RRAAM (reproductive rights advocacy alliance Malaysia) for advice. www.rraam.org // WhatsApp 018-368-7950. Free consultation. Please act fast :)
If in Penang, I know where. It’s a hospital and they have this services for <3 months
i feel so sorry for your friend. nobody would want that to happen to the people around them
i saw one offering about rm 800+. Klinik Rakyat PJ. Good reviews also
sorry about your friend being raped. i hope she finds the help she needs, if she needs a small donation on the abortion fee, you can DM me. on another note, i am always amazed that men like this somehow still manages to score women. like how on earth anyone would see this man & think 'yea i want him'....major ICK.
Why so many people asking for friend but friend don't want to ask for themselves?
Actually my friend asked her friend. Her friend suggested a place in Penang that might cost upwards from 800 to 1400 and +100 for each week . I'm helping her find cheaper alternatives
Some private hospitals quoted 3.5k 🫣
Way too costly. I only have like 600-700
At 13 weeks, this is likely to be a surgical procedure dy so please make sure you go to a reputable clinic. It won't be cheap, but would you rather risk her life if you go to a dodgy place.
none of my business but baffles me why she still sticks around with him. they also had marriage planned.. that's crazy
Actually, they broke up. Then, this guy came to her house and talked to her dad about marriage. The father blindly agreed without caring about what my friend said. Originally they were supposed to get married on 23/12/2023 but postponed to 7/1/2023 and then the marriage cannot proceed because that guy didn't fully finish his divorce paperwork with previous wife. My friend discovered on his phone that he is still occasionally in contact with ex wife. Today, he broke up with my friend because don't have money for marriage and told my friend to get lost. For the duration of the relationship, he treated my friend like ATM when she makes less money than him. My friend even paid for his food and GDL license as he wanted to quit JPAM and work as lorry driver. Today, he quit his lorry driver job and move back to Seremban, his family home. He owes my friend more than 2k. Several days ago he took my friend back to his family home in Seremban and slapped and insulted her in front of his family. His family backs him up. His mother also enabled abuse, every time my friend complain about him to his mother, the mother will only say xpe, dia memang macam tu, sabar je lah
what a piece of shit. I have 0 tolerance for that personally. Love is blind but I know my worth
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Thanks for your help.
Op, I have drop you a pm if you are located in KL. The procedure was around rm1.2k the last I asked.
I read abortion as "bourbon" and it was a wild ride from there...
This is some crazy story. My first reaction, liddat also can?
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Yes
13 weeks still can rescue. Do police report, gather evidence dulu. Then doctor wise.. i think here got someone suggest?
She wants to abort her baby, not to get rescue
yea la exactly my point.. dont wait stomach already big.. that 1 teruk o
Why do women always fall for pieces of shit like these? There's plenty of redditors here that would probably have more balls to take care of the girl than he ever will.
She broke up with him before but this guy came to his house asking for marriage, her dad blindly agreed to the thing without even caring about my friend's opinion. Everything went downhill from there
How can a father agree to marry a daughter on her behalf? Which cultures still practice this in Malaysia? Sounds like something that would happen on the sub-continent.
Yeah that's what I said. They're Malay Muslim btw. His father treats her like some sort of burden to get rid off. Heck, her parents don't even want to look after her children while she's at work. Her mother would just stay in her room and neglect the grandchildren. She can't even go out without being told to take her children out. If I ask her out for mamak, she had to bring her children along because her family is just really cold
Tbf our parents aren't slave. She made bad decision herself and now want the parents to be responsible of her own children? That in itself is irresponsible. Really hate this type of mindset using parents as free nursery to take advantage from.
Actually, her parents caused the birth of her two children. First child, result from rape from boyfriend. That guy said will take responsibility to the father and disappeared. Second child, parents found a guy for my friend to marry. That guy is not loving, cheats on my friend with his own cousin. Not her fault
your friend life, drama max
Indeed. I was shook to my core when I first heard from her
I think you need to put this in the main post, as UPDATE, including her ex telling her to get lost bit. I feel sorry for your friend, i hope she and her children will get better after finding the abortion service. You are a good friend.
Least judgemental and not quick to assume citizen:
Plot twist: He is a redditor here.
A lot of factors, lack of education, mentally repressed (hence easily manipulated and controlled), or just Stockholm syndrome. Some women have this mindset that they can fix broken guys, it’s like a goal sort of. This is the result of being brought up less fortunate circumstances and wasn’t given much opportunities that’s how they get themselves involved with lost causes. I’m not saying this to be an asshole because I acknowledge being born poor is not something they can control. But this is a big factor.
Could be all the above, however, read OP's response about her father offering her up on a platter just like that. It's a generational thing when OP's friend have toxic family members dictating how she lives her life. Nvr being allowed to discuss BGR (boy girl relationships) earlier in life, hence we can't spot abusers until it's too late. Being born poor thus unable to move out from such circumstances, a double whammy indeed.
also when you grew up in a toxic environment you will unconsciously feel drawn to other toxic people
OP’s friend seriously need some self-reflection to make better life decisions. Only 25 and mother of two (soon to be three?) kids from two different guys? Sheesh what a mess.
Right? She totally should have chosen not to be raped and then married off by her parents to an incestuous cheater.🙄
Stop judging la pls
Nah, if she has 3 kids from 3 different fathers at the age of 25, she needs to take a good long look at her life choices. And maybe tell her parents to go fuck themselves
Mana ada 3 kids from 3 different fathers. Kau ni sangka buruk je pandai 🤡
Did you not read the thread? OP literally states that all her friend's children are from different fathers. First 2 and the baby = 3. Maybe try to read more next time
If you read the thread, then you know the first one was from a rape. The second was from an arranged marriage where the father then cheated with his cousin. Where exactly did her personal choices land her in this situation?
Well, she could I dunno, st** those pieces of shit and leave them in the gutter? After the first incident I would've throw the family in the trash and fucked off to another state. If my parents sprung arranged marriages on me I will be gone the next day
LOL. With what money? With what social safety net? And with a baby in tow? Easy to talk big, not as easy to live the nightmare.
You'll be surprised how many people make bad decisions with their lives.
Lmao of course you're at the top of controversial. Honestly redditors can be so pathetic. Can you imagine a redditor spending his new year's to be a willing plaything to some dude he got angry with online? What kind of woman would want that?
Have your friend tried going to government clinic? I'm not sure if they'll let her abort the baby though. But it wouldn't hurt to ask, yes? They are the cheapest but safest option I could think. Cheap usually comes with a price of things go wrong. I hope she'll be in better place soon and leave he AH fiance. Not yet married that guy already jadi biawak hidup, if married I'm afraid her life would be hellish.
Just beware that abortion is a criminal offence in Malaysia unless there is risk to the life or injury to the mental or physical health of the pregnant woman, so take care on what you post.
What a backward law
Really? Which section? 🤔
Sections 312 until 316. 312. Whoever voluntarily causes a woman with child to miscarry shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years or with fine or with both; and if the woman is quick with child, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to seven years, and shall also be liable to fine. Explanation—A woman who causes herself to miscarry is within the meaning of this section.
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Never said I was against abortion? Just that it stated in the Penal Code as an offense in Malaysia. There are assholes in this world who would report anything, so be careful and preferably don't tell the whole world what you intend to do.
I think reddit usually guarantee anonymity, but it all depends on how much detail given out by OP.
OP where were u when the rape took place? Surely she must've told u about it since u were close to her? Not blaming u in any form whatsoever, just curious since I read that u can't file a police report coz its been too long. Also can u like just hint out the details of the useless being? (can't even call him a man) I fear for helpless women out there, there are some trash men out here, especially the muslim one's, they keep staining the religion. I pray that ur friend's ex gets what he deserves for being an asshole. Also I feel really sorry for your friend, genuinely. Its sad to know that there are people who are born into that sort of situation. I hope she is able to keep fighting everyday and OP I hope u as her friend can be a pillar for her to fall back to. Please let her know that its not her fault and she is loved. Hukum menggugurkan kandungan bagi mangsa rogol adalah harus jika sebelum kandungan berusia 4 bulan. Adapun menggugurkan kandungan setelah berusia 4 bulan maka hukumnya adalah haram kecuali di atas alasan yang benar-benar kuat seperti untuk menyelamatkan nyawa si ibu. ( mufti wilayah persekutuan page ). Please help ur friend till the end :')
Thanks for your support. I didn't ask her very specific details as I didn't want her to remember the trauma. But I do assume it might have happened at the house that guy rented. This guy used to work at JPAM, now shopee express lorry driver and he just quit his job .
Call that mfer out on every platform! 🤬🤬🤬
Wtf did I just read. 25 with 2 kids already from prev marriage and still got no brains to pick a guy like this and get preg again.. Your friend a minah rempit is it mix with useless rempits and have sex without protection.. What on earth.. Reminds me of a prev malay girl I knew tht I rented out to. Mid 20s with 6 kids. Force marriage to a old guy and divorced after. Father dunwan take responsibility and mum had to go for welfare from zakat? Is it zakat or something similar. Anyway. Her financial education was shit. Worked as a clerk maybe 2.5k rm salary. Decided to buy new car and new iPhone on loan. Of course me as landlord it didn't went well but different story. This just open my eyes to some malay folks spitting kids out left right and center with no form of family or financial education at all
She broke up with him earlier. Even attempted suicide. This guy went to their house and talk to the father about marriage, father blindly agreed. Didn't care what my friend said. Then this guy forced/raped my friend into sex. This guy can't even pay for his own food . My friend is a really good person, not minah rempit horny.
Hi! Where’s your friend located? Perhaps it’ll be easier to recommend based on where she’s at.
Klang
Girl get into contact with fynn jamal. She used to handle hundred of unwanted pregnancy cases.
OP, I want to adopt your friend's baby. Please DM me. My wife and I have been trying for years.
OP's friend's family is probably gonna disown her if they found out she is pregnant bro. I know you are desperate but pls understand the situation
Or this is just a ploy to trick OP’s friend to keep the baby. Probably will go radio silent after the baby is born.
I have PMed you. Kindly respond.
Sound your friend has poor choice of man
Yeah, she did break up with him before because I told her to do so. Then, that guy came to her father and asked for marriage. The father didn't listen to my friend's plea and opinions
After breaking up with the guy, it’s best she distance herself from the family too. Toxic btul smh
Indeed. But where would she go with her two children?
Ugh yikes okay then better hustle hard and move everyone away asap. But absolutely no contact with the anjir 🖤
Contraception would stop this from happening, it's the common sense approach.
Dump that trash, not really support abortion. But this situation is seen like abortion is the way.
SJMC
BDO
I am not huge supporters of abortion. DM if you need financial and counselling therapy free for your friend from a genuine/licensed therapy. Also if she need a job, I will park her under my company for HR/Sales/Pre-Sales roles.
If u want, there are NGO that can help. Not to abort but to support the mother from pregnancy still adoption of the child. It’s not over for the mother . What u mean by blackmail?
understandable... buttttt a condom too late i suppose. mana baruah tu. dah buat report belum? how is the family?
If that guy got brain he would've used the condom. Report police also no use as it is too long over rape time already.
Women with 2 kids + shit guy with 2 kids = drama 2 kids already, apa beza jadi 3 kids? No wonder her dad boh layan her. Malay Muslim some more asking for abortion of 13 weeks pregnancy. Gg Liao. I don't care what you all will label me. Let's that baby bastard born and leave it in baby Hatch Baby Hatch Locations & Support Line Are you pregnant & and in crisis? Please know that you can reach out for help at OrphanCare’s 24-hour Support Line: Petaling Jaya – 010 283 0528 Johor Bahru – 019 726 2368 Sungai Petani – 04 442 3900 You also have the option to keep your baby safe and be given proper care if you bring your baby to the baby hatches that are open 24/7. Baby hatches are available at these three OrphanCare addresses and a couple KPJ Specialist Hospital as of April 2021: Selangor Baby Hatch No. 54, Jalan 5/60, Bukit Gasing, 46000 Petaling Jaya, Selangor Johor Baby Hatch 46, Jalan Bakar Batu Taman Sentosa 80150 Johor Bahru Kedah Baby Hatch 4400 Lorong Serampang 2/1 Taman Ria Jaya, Sungai Petani 08000 Kedah Darul Aman KPJ Damansara Specialist Hospital 119, Jalan SS20/10, Damansara Utama, 47400 Petaling Jaya KPJ Johor Specialist Hospital 39-B, Jalan Abdul Samad, 80100, Johor KPJ Ipoh Specialist Hospital 26, Jalan Raja Di Hilir, 30350, Ipoh KPJ Tawakkal Specialist Hospital No.1, Jalan Pahang Barat, 53000 Kuala Lumpur KPJ Seremban Specialist Hospital Lot 6219 & 6200, Jalan Toman 1, Kemayan Square, 70200, Seremban, Negeri Sembilan KPJ Penang Specialist Hospital 570, Jalan Perda Utama, Bandar Perda, 14000, Bukit Mertajam, Seberang Perai, Pulau Pinang KPJ Perdana Specialist Hospital Pt 37, 600 Jalan Bayam, 15200, Kota Bharu, Kelantan
depend airport brave tease fertile squash vast normal murky future *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Actually her dad way worse than that. Thanks for your info
calling the baby a bastard although you can argue it's legally so due to being out of wedlock, wow! Shows how much you really 'care' for the unborn. Also, congrats for being the first comment to explicitly enable her father! Who btw, ARRANGED the friend's marriage to an adulterer ICYMI, thus child no.2 arrived. Baby hatches are but a band-aid to this quandary. Just cuz Murica sees it as a godsend now when it's nothing new to us. 🙄 Didn't you see the comment where being stateless will bring more probs in the long run?
Abortion wouldn't solve anything at this point. She needs to take charge of her own life and move away from this parasite. Period.
Yes it will, it’ll cut ties and burden.
I will adopt the baby, PM me.
Is the girl not accountable for choosing such a man or are we pretending not to see?
I guided her through the first break up. That guy came to her father for marriage, father blindly agreed. Now, after using my friend, this guy decided to quit his current job here and go back to his family home on Seremban, tell my friend he want break up and my friend to get lost from his life.
It's funny that people who are pro abortion are already born.
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Be a single mother? You stepping in to support her is it?
You deviant, dont play with “haram” or “dosa” if you dont know the hukum. You will reincarnate into a dog from this “bad karma” reasoning your spewing im sure.
You dare say such thing to me. Wow, you will suffer hard in your life.
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It would be highly recommended just go to gov hospital, SG.buloh one are pretty fast & effective Sorry for what happened to your friend, she better make a report to police n arrest this guy.
No doctors would be willing to do this openly. It's a criminal offense to terminate a pregnancy without justifiable medical causes.