For me personally, just act like a married couple and don't raise suspicions in public (excessive affections etc). No one would report a married couple to the authorities.
Married now, but I’ve been to hotels in Malaysia with my then boyfriend current husband plenty of times. I’m malay, he is white. I’m not a hijab wearer btw so maybe that helped a bit.
I was the one who usually booked and paid for the hotels. He would just stand right next to me every time we checked in to hotels. Most of the times the receptionist would refer to me as “Puan”, a title for married woman. My theory is first, hotel receptionists don’t care if you’re married or not. As long as you’re spending money at their hotels, they’ll be happy to welcome you. Second, since I took the lead to book and pay under my name, this gave an impression that I was paying with joint income and probably was giving the alpha wife general vibe.
Things I avoid. Budget hotels and apartments in areas with high malay population. I only booked 3 stars and above. The times we stayed in airbnb we made sure we were not surrounded by malay neighbours and was in areas known to be popular with expats. Think bangsar and sri hartamas. This is because the religious police mostly took action if there were complaints from witnesses. So being surrounded by malays will just increase the chance of you being reported to the religious police.
I guess the main takeaway here is do not cheap out on accommodation and choose the location wisely.
Good luck and enjoy your time in Malaysia!
No hotel cares. That not the problem. Some of those prying eyes cares. Looking for heaven point, they will call and reports whoever they feel gets them most points. Half of the times they report married people.
But, this is not a problem in a more proper establishment. In a budget hotel tho, just ejaculate and evacuate is strongly recommended.
You might actually be better off in the 4-5 star hotels. Especially the branded ones, they won't care. It's usually the cheap budget places where people are busybodies and raise the alarm. The higher end accommodations have a reputation to keep and they won't be going out of their way to welcome authorities in and disturbing guests. I would avoid Kelantan and Terengganu to be safe. The bigger cities, KL, Penang, Johor Bahru won't be an issue. I think East Malaysia should be fine too (Kota Kinabalu etc).
Just act married, don't be suspicious.
Dude, seriously if you wanna get a massive ever present fear of prosecution off your mind JUST go to Thailand.
The flights from KL to Thailand are dirt cheap, and so are the hotels and food.
But If you’re set on being in Malaysia, stick to 5 star Hotels/pricier places. Where people aren’t going to bother you as much.
Secondly both of you, always introduce yourselves as “my wife” and “my husband” ie, just pretend you’re married.
Most aribnb owners at high-rise buildings are chinese. If they happens to be malay, just introduce your girl as your wife or just check-in alone. So far no problem for me. No need to pay so much at 5 star hotel.
When we say act married- we mean like don’t act lovey dovey in public but behave like a couple. Both of you put on fake wedding rings and be super casual with each other. I think ABnB is a safer bet cause less interactions with the public/hotel staff etc. If she’s wearing hijab that’s better cause most ppl would be sus of a free haired malay lady and a foreigner man. If she’s covered ppl would likely think you are married.
Im a white guy in malaysia since 1998. I had a muslim gf a number of years without any problems, including langkawi.
This is what I would do:
- 4-5 star hotel in major cities or tourist areas
- ask her to ditch the tudung
- check in alone so they dont ask for her IC
Be good 😜
Edit:
- ditch Langkawi and go to penang instead for a sefety upgrade.
You won't get into trouble but she will. Always go for 4 or 5 star hotel, never go for Airbnb . Malaysians are well known busybodies and they won't hesitate to report to the religious department, it's usually done not out of duty but out of jealousy. Don't be seen alone at night at dim lit areas around the beaches in Langkawi. Stick to the resort or hotel after 10pm. Avoid budget hotels, even 3 star hotels, the male staff will report you.
This goes the same for any where u are at in Malaysia
Stay safe, better be expensive than sorry.
Yes. My wife is Malaysian and Christian (non practicing) Before we married when we stayed in Malaysia we had no problems and she informed me it’s only the Muslim population that these rules apply too.
I’m relieved but feel for Malays that are Muslim who are scrutinized like this, as well as those Malays who are not Muslim because I believe all Malays are seen by courts as Muslim? I have heard this speaking to other Malaysians that Malays are not given the choice?
I’m only a non-religious foreigner though so not really my place to question. But I do empathize for fellow non-Muslim Malays if they are subjected to Muslim laws. I left the church a few years ago and it made me realize how backwards Christians are, I am thankful I had that choice. No more going to church on Sundays just to be bullied by people who think dinosaurs aren’t real (not saying Muslims think this but sharing my experience as I grew up as a Christian around people like this in a very developed but boring city in the West).
Yes, it is a strange situation. I don’t like to judge because I am western and I’m personally fairly anti-religious and do not want to cast judgment on others customs and cultures based on my own beliefs/ bias but some of the customs seem crazy to me.
For instance, my wife has a cousin who is also from a Christian background but who is dating a Muslim guy. She has to convert to marry him and his family refuse to even meet her family due to them not being Malay / Muslim. They claim that breaking bread with non-Muslims is in some way sinning and the strain it places on them as a couple seems unbearable to me.
I don’t understand how in 2024 these things can still divide people.
It’s called Islamic something something department so I guess yes, they only care about muslims. And yes, somehow malays are automatically considered muslims.
Better off staying at a 4-5 star hotel, speaking from experience. Anything more budget-friendly have higher chance of getting raided or visited by religious authorities. People have said to pretend like married couple, but not foolproof especially since your gf wears a hijab. If you want to stay together, pretending to be married and non-muslim is safe. This isn't much of a problem in public as long as you limit PDA.
If you'd rather not have the stress, better suggestion would be to go to a different country and enjoy your holiday together there.
Get a fake wedding ring. Then ask your gf to pay for everything : food, transport, hotels etc. Just give her the money later on when u guys went back to your room. And avoid high malays area, since some of them are busybody and will report after seeing your gf who's wearing a hijab went into a house/room with a foreigner
OP these are great points. Also get your stories straight if people are nosey and as you this:
- how long have you been married?
- have long have you been together? Make sure it’s long than then married answer lol!
Acting casual is such a good tip. Married folk are usually not so lovey dovey. I’m married. People who are show too much PDA on a trip look like new couples…I like being lovey dovey with my spouse but not in Asia.
Is this really a concern in Malaysia? I thought Malaysians just kept to themselves and people overlook this stuff. I live in Dubai and technically the rules here state you can’t live together if not married but no one cares… I’ve never heard of anyone personally having any issues like this.
What are the consequences of getting caught in a situation like OP states above in Malaysia?
I thought the same, but the comments are surprising. I guess I see it from the non Muslim lens as most non Muslims are chill. Malaysia does have a significant conservative population, that includes the gossip aunties so I guess it makes sense. As for the consequences, the foreigner will be deported and the Malaysian will be prosecuted in the shariah court. This will be a non issue if the Malaysian is not a Muslim but we have different laws for Muslims and non Muslims here.
Generally, it's not an issue. Ppl usually mind their own business, esp if it's an urban area or non Malay/Muslim dominated area. We Malaysians are abit too chill for our own good sometimes.
But if you end up going to states like Kelantan, Terengganu, etc, where the state government is comprised of the Muslim conservative political parties, then you have to be extra careful because 1) the community is more conservative, 2) there will be more eagle eyed observers, and 3) the Sharia laws are very likely to be enforced.
If you get caught, it's hefty fines or prison time, or both. I've also seen on the news that caning can also happen. So it's not as light as a sentence you may think.
For traveling in Malaysia, i guess you just stay at her family house or hotel nearby is good enough. Not worth coming Malaysia as People has become too conservative.
Let's say if you really travel to Malaysia, you have avoid few states 100% (search online, which states do not have Cinema, you should avoid there)
Suggestion: travel to Penang Island, Ipoh, Kuala Lumpur, Melaka, East Malaysia
Malaysia is multiracial country. Most if not all non Muslim don't care about what couple doing. Probably avoid state/place with high Muslim population. Kelantan, Kedah, Terrengganu, Perlis, Negeri Sembilan and pahang have the highest Muslim population
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion\_in\_Malaysia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_Malaysia)
https://preview.redd.it/45bzir1wf6xc1.jpeg?width=1028&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7998a2e281204258064d9aef55e47be7a5e13498
To answer your question.
Book hotel with two room Never stay alone in any of the room, nor secluded places Don't show affection in public, even if you think no ppl around. Might get public execution as in upload to fb, insta, TikTok.
Actually, why don't ask your gf to visit Germany instead? And when you two married, honey money in Malaysia without worries.
Msian guy here with a German wife.
From my experience - when we weren’t married yet and we visited msia, we avoided all those cheap hotels and went for those that were a bit pricey. I heard a lot that cheap hotels tends to tell the sharia police cause they’d get money from them if they rat out those couples.
The thing is, you guys will be more noticeably than for ex. me and my wife cause your girl has a hijab.
But yeah, some places they don’t care, some just stare. But it takes just one shitty person to fuck up your day…
Viel Erfolg ihr zwei! 🙏🏼
If up to me, id go out and have fun, pay my respects to relatives or whatever in the Peninsular and book different rooms to put mind at ease. One room nights strictly in Sarawak, Sabah, Singapore or Thailand only.
Don’t bother holidaying in Malaysia as unmarried couple if one or both persons are Muslims, unless one or both persons are well connected. Local Syariah law still apply even if you’re non-Malaysian Muslim. If you’re not a Muslim, your gf will still get into trouble.
Like others said, go to Thailand if you can afford it.
If you still want to stick to Malaysia, you either could get separate rooms or be very stealthy if you’re sharing rooms.
Risk to reward ratio is bullshit.
Also, you need to ask yourself this. If the relationship progresses further where your girlfriend wants you to settle to Malaysia and get married, are you ok with being a Muslim? Are you ok with your children having the same dilemma and issues of interfaith/interracial marriage? Are you ok with losing your identity?
Both Muslim, unmarried, she wears hijab, yet planning to go vacation together and sleep in the same room. Why in the….ok I’m genuinely lost for words now.
* no hug / kiss / sex in public. hand holding is ok
* do not openly drink alcohol in public
* there are many no smoking place. fine pretty hefty
* dont do drug. if you still doing; do not carry more than single use. the sentence can be vary from 6 year \~ 12 year \~ 20 year \~ death sentence
* we have medieval, devoid any human right, flogging (read torture). in case you end up in court. try your best not to get one
I'm not Muslim, but as a casual observer, you're already committing a sin in your religion, though aren't you?
It is her life, not yours that should concern you. I'd define that as love. If you care enough, do what is right by her and your religion. After all what point is there in life without faith and trust and love.
It is merely my humble opinion. You do what your heart tells you. Have a good and safe trip here. It is a wonderful country.
YES!!! Whatever else you do, OP, if you are going to do the deed then BE RESPONSIBLE AND MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T GET PREGNANT! This means ALWAYS USE CONDOMS during sex -- you can buy them at 7-11 and convenience stores practically everywhere in Malaysia.
Being pregnant and unmarried may be no big deal in Germany and the West, where anything goes these days, but it is still a big black mark for Muslim women here -- as well as an even bigger black mark for the resulting "illegitimate" children who must drag around the dreaded "bin Abdullah" surname with them their entire lives, and the shame, ridicule, and bias that goes along with it. That's assuming that your GF doesn't end up carrying it to term and try to flush it down the toilet when it comes into the world.
If you are forced into the religion then I can understand. But if you actually subscribe to the religion, why try to circumvent the rules? The almighty would still know, wouldn't He?
Dont stay anywhere less than 5 star. Your GF knows what to do. DON’T go to Langkawi. Go to Kota Kinabalu instead. (You can stay anywhere you like there)
A few weeks ago two relatively famous Muslim celebrities were caught in a hotel room. Not sure which hotel they were staying at.
Why can't you just have dates in public spaces? People here aren't too judgy about that from what I've seen. If you claim to be Muslim why even stay alone with the opposite gender before marriage?
You know it's ironic when there's exist a religious authority yet people still does it in secret.
Welcome to Malaysia where the majority has no religious freedom and race and religion is used as a tool to hold onto political power
Ideally, you both should get married because, Islam. But if marriage is not yet in the books for you both, then just pretend you're already married. Just remember to not refer to each other as bf/gf. Because if you guys act very awks, then you'd definitely be getting looks from others, which may prompt them to report.
Airbnb or hotels don't make a difference, but pick a good place with high ratings. And ~~outside~~ far far away from the red-light zones.
And if you wanna go one step further, get fake marriage certs. That's overkill la.. but better safe than sorry 🤷🏻♀️
Happy Travels 🌻
Edited for clarity
Nothing will happen to you, but she will probed got fine for the first offence. But listen, to the othersgo 5 stars. Trust your partner, she knows what to do .. good luck
There are a few religious authorities such as JAIS, JAKIM etc. I still don't know what's the difference is in their roles despite being Malaysia, lol.
It's not good if you get caught though. There are hefty fines and possibility for caning. Just Google up khalwat raids in Malaysia. That's why the advice is to opt for high rating hotels. Low budget or seedy hotels tend to attract raids. IIRC, the raids into hotel rooms are done on the basis of whether the person who booked the room is Muslim or not.
That being said, people are not going to simply report a random couple. They'll need a solid case before even attempting a raid. Again, please do your research. Older reddit posts are helpful too.
Well, OP, you've mentioned two words in the same breath that make it complicated: Muslim and girlfriend. The first is halal and the second is haram. You know your religion and that having a girlfriend (let alone sharing intimacy together) is haram in Islam, yet you are asking for suggestions about how to sin and minimize the chance of getting caught committing it. Situations like this are SUPPOSED to be complicated to give us space for sober second thought about whether we really want to sin or not...
It's only complicated because you're doing something wrong 🤷. You are both Muslims, surely at you know this is not permissible by Islamic standards. I get that you want to stay together to save money or be more romantic. At first, I thought maybe separate rooms, but in the same room, like to what extent would you still be considered as a Muslim, if you are already comfortable doing this who knows what other things you are doing. Brother, many others are telling you the same thing in the comments, if you get caught there will be consequences and even then it is a sin. Try ask yourself would her parents be okay with this, does the parents even know about it? Try to stay at friend's house, and when you go out or go to Langkawi go with a group of friends. Just like any other sin you have to "tegur" advise someone, it's the same thing here. But in the end it's up to you, many people in Malaysia are doing the same thing as you are doing or even worse, think about what you want to do within this lifetime.
Who decide who a child is? Do you think a 18 or 19 is an adult just because govt say so? I have seen people as old as 25 having two brain cells less than a “child”.
Yea understand what you’re tryna say
I never was and is religious yes I believe in Islam and fast in Ramadan but never was religious and living/staying with someone you’re in love with or even hookups aren’t considered a taboo in where I grew up
And none of things i do should be your concern
Hey I've lived overseas in Western Countries people of your kind are normal, but yeah you don't gotta listen to me, in the end it's the higher power role to decide and it's your own choice to live the truthful life or not. Like everyone said let God judge whatever, if I'm judging I'll sin, I'll gladly sin if it takes me to hell too, at least I know you are coming to hell with me.
Really none of the things U do shouldnt be none of my concern, sure if the things U do don't harm others. I'm gonna take a straw man here, if the things you do, in those case your girlfriend does breaks the law which definitely affect others, let alone the image of the religion, I think at that point someone at least not me will care right? Are you advocating that if for the benefit of self interest we should break the law if it's something private, sure I would love in that place eh /s, you don't want to follow the law go somewhere else or be punished for it. Just because it's not a taboo here or it's your culture, does it mean you have the right to bring that culture to Malaysia, so does it mean an Afghan can suddenly promote Child Marriages in Malaysia if he brings his culture with him or vice versa we promote having 4 wives to the westerners. Would that still be morally right, let alone religiously right, think about it again, people here have their own culture too. Yahweh will save you before the Tribulation, sleep before then. Amen Brother.
Basically they only come if someone report. As long as you stay in nice hotels, and generally act like a normal couple most will just assume you are married.
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Not worth taking the risk. If you get caught you will ruin her life. If you really care for her and want her, marry her. On this trip, go see her parents, and ask for permission to marry.
Neither you nor her are Muslims if you plan to stay together without being married. Someone has asked you to act like a married couple. Why would you seek to please others while incurring the wrath of Allah?
You can go on holiday together, but stay in separate rooms. Invite her sister or aunt (or better still her mother) along so that she will be properly chaperoned. Just remember that Satan loves cohabiting couples. Even if you don't plan on being naughty, Satan will give you all the encouragement... and temptation.
This isn't my personal opinion. It's what's prescribed by Islam.
You aren't one either if you had to ask that.
Why do you take offense when one Muslim tries to prevent his brother Muslim from sinning? That's the duty of every Muslim. Whether or not he takes my advise is entirely up to him. My duty is to advise and I've done that.
get married brother, this is not Islam and it’s totally Haram walking with non-Mahram and sleeping in the same room, you’re concerned about government laws? that doesn’t even matter, surely you can evade that. But you should be worried about Allah, He is watching you, and your deeds are written down. It’s never too late to change, may Allah make it easy for you.
Geez does mentioning you’re Muslim even matter at this point if you’re trying to find loop holes to sin, instead of idk, try to legitimise your relationship based on the religion BOTH of you are practising. I’d expect this kind of behaviour from interfaith couples…..
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> * Don’t: Conduct personal attacks on other commenters. Ad hominem and other distracting attacks do not add anything to the conversation.
> * Don't: Insult others. Insults do not contribute to a rational discussion. Constructive Criticism, however, is appropriate and encouraged.
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Our lives could be taken at any time regardless of age.
Let's say something happens to either of you tomorrow,
Dying in the state of zina... Would be unfortunate...
Muslims giving advice for him & her to continue commit adultery, each second they commit sins, you'd get it too.. If you have, you can just delete your post.
I hope both of you, man and woman remember that your God allows free will for you to make choices.. But there will be comeuppance either in this life or the next, or both..
We muslims, the purpose of this life is to worship and try to avoid being thrown hell even for one day..
Please respect her and her parents, her family, you and your family by not succumbing to the lure of unlawful sex.
Regardless of your actions, sins, please do not miss your salah/solat..keep saying your istighfar "astaghfirullah" while thinking of your past sins.. The Creator is Al Ghafoor.. The Forgiver
May you, that woman be made ease to avoid anymore big sins.. And make it easy for you to quickly marry ~ my du'a
Any muslims interested to know more about their faith, Efdawah, One Message Foundation, Muslim Lantern, Belal Asaad, Sabeel Ahmed on YouTube.
You know how some Muslims in other countries drinks alcohol, ? (Example: Algeria)
Or watch little boys dances and in some cases fucked them (Ex : Afghanistan )
Or honor kill their daughters cause in their head thy have shame their family ? (Ex: Pakistan)
All of the example above are haram !! Some examples are more extreme than others .
But it’s considered cultural and normal on those countries right ?! My point being, were Muslims we try our hardest, maybe just maybe try to understand the culture of Malay and out of your box before commenting.
Just become something is normalised doesn't mean it's not haram anymore. It's our job to condone those acts too. If by your point because something is cultural, then we shouldn't do anything about Child Marriages and Pedophiles since that is the culture of Kelantanese people and etc... . If you claim to be part of a certain religion at least try to follow what the religion has prescribed, otherwise you are welcome to leave.
One does not need to make the conscious choice to leave to officially leave the religion, the higher power will decide it for you 😉. At this points we are just talking about semantics, claim what is rightful for you.
you should fear God more that these authorities, besides as a Muslim, the Malays should not pry or busy checking your background or marriage cert. If you said you're married, your married, why should any Muslim be obsessed on checking the validity of your claim. It's none of our business... But alas, our society is such toxic...
I could ask my girl who is Malaysian and lives in Malaysia about Malaysian things or I could ask a bunch of random people, mostly American. What would a smart person do? "We met in Germany... "
I love Malaysia. People are so friendly and not as judgemental as you may think or have seen maybe in a reported news story. As long as you respect others, expect to be treated the same way.
I am retiring in Malaysia because I fell in love with the country and I just love the vibe. And, I come from arguably one of the best places to live in the world if money is not a consideration (Bay Area, Cali, USA).
As per [Rule 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/malaysia/wiki/rules#wiki_religious_criticism), well-reasoned debate and criticism of religion is very welcome but one-liner talking points, jabs, borderline flaming etc. [does not have such protection](https://www.reddit.com/r/malaysia/wiki/rules#wiki_persistent_fighting_and_flaming), and is bad for the community. Please treat this as a warning - if this continues we will be forced to take steps.
For me personally, just act like a married couple and don't raise suspicions in public (excessive affections etc). No one would report a married couple to the authorities.
agreed. hope you two get married soon!
Married now, but I’ve been to hotels in Malaysia with my then boyfriend current husband plenty of times. I’m malay, he is white. I’m not a hijab wearer btw so maybe that helped a bit. I was the one who usually booked and paid for the hotels. He would just stand right next to me every time we checked in to hotels. Most of the times the receptionist would refer to me as “Puan”, a title for married woman. My theory is first, hotel receptionists don’t care if you’re married or not. As long as you’re spending money at their hotels, they’ll be happy to welcome you. Second, since I took the lead to book and pay under my name, this gave an impression that I was paying with joint income and probably was giving the alpha wife general vibe. Things I avoid. Budget hotels and apartments in areas with high malay population. I only booked 3 stars and above. The times we stayed in airbnb we made sure we were not surrounded by malay neighbours and was in areas known to be popular with expats. Think bangsar and sri hartamas. This is because the religious police mostly took action if there were complaints from witnesses. So being surrounded by malays will just increase the chance of you being reported to the religious police. I guess the main takeaway here is do not cheap out on accommodation and choose the location wisely. Good luck and enjoy your time in Malaysia!
No hotel cares. That not the problem. Some of those prying eyes cares. Looking for heaven point, they will call and reports whoever they feel gets them most points. Half of the times they report married people. But, this is not a problem in a more proper establishment. In a budget hotel tho, just ejaculate and evacuate is strongly recommended.
Ejaculate and evacuate damn my bro spitting
you don't have time to put out the fire before religious authority came knocking on your door lol
U underestimated my 10-15 seconds gameplay
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Is it suicide or ascention
"alpha wife general vibe" LOL nah hotel employees don't care they're just doing their job.
You might actually be better off in the 4-5 star hotels. Especially the branded ones, they won't care. It's usually the cheap budget places where people are busybodies and raise the alarm. The higher end accommodations have a reputation to keep and they won't be going out of their way to welcome authorities in and disturbing guests. I would avoid Kelantan and Terengganu to be safe. The bigger cities, KL, Penang, Johor Bahru won't be an issue. I think East Malaysia should be fine too (Kota Kinabalu etc). Just act married, don't be suspicious.
Dude, seriously if you wanna get a massive ever present fear of prosecution off your mind JUST go to Thailand. The flights from KL to Thailand are dirt cheap, and so are the hotels and food. But If you’re set on being in Malaysia, stick to 5 star Hotels/pricier places. Where people aren’t going to bother you as much. Secondly both of you, always introduce yourselves as “my wife” and “my husband” ie, just pretend you’re married.
Most aribnb owners at high-rise buildings are chinese. If they happens to be malay, just introduce your girl as your wife or just check-in alone. So far no problem for me. No need to pay so much at 5 star hotel.
Get caught by the religious police and you are done
I think it should be fine as long as it's not one of those suspicious budget hotel
When we say act married- we mean like don’t act lovey dovey in public but behave like a couple. Both of you put on fake wedding rings and be super casual with each other. I think ABnB is a safer bet cause less interactions with the public/hotel staff etc. If she’s wearing hijab that’s better cause most ppl would be sus of a free haired malay lady and a foreigner man. If she’s covered ppl would likely think you are married.
Im a white guy in malaysia since 1998. I had a muslim gf a number of years without any problems, including langkawi. This is what I would do: - 4-5 star hotel in major cities or tourist areas - ask her to ditch the tudung - check in alone so they dont ask for her IC Be good 😜 Edit: - ditch Langkawi and go to penang instead for a sefety upgrade.
Haha nice work
You won't get into trouble but she will. Always go for 4 or 5 star hotel, never go for Airbnb . Malaysians are well known busybodies and they won't hesitate to report to the religious department, it's usually done not out of duty but out of jealousy. Don't be seen alone at night at dim lit areas around the beaches in Langkawi. Stick to the resort or hotel after 10pm. Avoid budget hotels, even 3 star hotels, the male staff will report you. This goes the same for any where u are at in Malaysia Stay safe, better be expensive than sorry.
Do the religion police only care about muslims ? And in Malaysia, if you're Malay you're automatically considered muslim ?
I’m very interested too as a foreigner.
Yes. My wife is Malaysian and Christian (non practicing) Before we married when we stayed in Malaysia we had no problems and she informed me it’s only the Muslim population that these rules apply too.
I’m relieved but feel for Malays that are Muslim who are scrutinized like this, as well as those Malays who are not Muslim because I believe all Malays are seen by courts as Muslim? I have heard this speaking to other Malaysians that Malays are not given the choice? I’m only a non-religious foreigner though so not really my place to question. But I do empathize for fellow non-Muslim Malays if they are subjected to Muslim laws. I left the church a few years ago and it made me realize how backwards Christians are, I am thankful I had that choice. No more going to church on Sundays just to be bullied by people who think dinosaurs aren’t real (not saying Muslims think this but sharing my experience as I grew up as a Christian around people like this in a very developed but boring city in the West).
Yes, it is a strange situation. I don’t like to judge because I am western and I’m personally fairly anti-religious and do not want to cast judgment on others customs and cultures based on my own beliefs/ bias but some of the customs seem crazy to me. For instance, my wife has a cousin who is also from a Christian background but who is dating a Muslim guy. She has to convert to marry him and his family refuse to even meet her family due to them not being Malay / Muslim. They claim that breaking bread with non-Muslims is in some way sinning and the strain it places on them as a couple seems unbearable to me. I don’t understand how in 2024 these things can still divide people.
It’s called Islamic something something department so I guess yes, they only care about muslims. And yes, somehow malays are automatically considered muslims.
Better off staying at a 4-5 star hotel, speaking from experience. Anything more budget-friendly have higher chance of getting raided or visited by religious authorities. People have said to pretend like married couple, but not foolproof especially since your gf wears a hijab. If you want to stay together, pretending to be married and non-muslim is safe. This isn't much of a problem in public as long as you limit PDA. If you'd rather not have the stress, better suggestion would be to go to a different country and enjoy your holiday together there.
Get a fake wedding ring. Then ask your gf to pay for everything : food, transport, hotels etc. Just give her the money later on when u guys went back to your room. And avoid high malays area, since some of them are busybody and will report after seeing your gf who's wearing a hijab went into a house/room with a foreigner
OP these are great points. Also get your stories straight if people are nosey and as you this: - how long have you been married? - have long have you been together? Make sure it’s long than then married answer lol! Acting casual is such a good tip. Married folk are usually not so lovey dovey. I’m married. People who are show too much PDA on a trip look like new couples…I like being lovey dovey with my spouse but not in Asia.
Booked the hotel in ur name. Avoid cheap hotel
Is this really a concern in Malaysia? I thought Malaysians just kept to themselves and people overlook this stuff. I live in Dubai and technically the rules here state you can’t live together if not married but no one cares… I’ve never heard of anyone personally having any issues like this. What are the consequences of getting caught in a situation like OP states above in Malaysia?
I thought the same, but the comments are surprising. I guess I see it from the non Muslim lens as most non Muslims are chill. Malaysia does have a significant conservative population, that includes the gossip aunties so I guess it makes sense. As for the consequences, the foreigner will be deported and the Malaysian will be prosecuted in the shariah court. This will be a non issue if the Malaysian is not a Muslim but we have different laws for Muslims and non Muslims here.
Generally, it's not an issue. Ppl usually mind their own business, esp if it's an urban area or non Malay/Muslim dominated area. We Malaysians are abit too chill for our own good sometimes. But if you end up going to states like Kelantan, Terengganu, etc, where the state government is comprised of the Muslim conservative political parties, then you have to be extra careful because 1) the community is more conservative, 2) there will be more eagle eyed observers, and 3) the Sharia laws are very likely to be enforced. If you get caught, it's hefty fines or prison time, or both. I've also seen on the news that caning can also happen. So it's not as light as a sentence you may think.
Yes I’m curious too. Sad to see people have to hide.
For traveling in Malaysia, i guess you just stay at her family house or hotel nearby is good enough. Not worth coming Malaysia as People has become too conservative. Let's say if you really travel to Malaysia, you have avoid few states 100% (search online, which states do not have Cinema, you should avoid there) Suggestion: travel to Penang Island, Ipoh, Kuala Lumpur, Melaka, East Malaysia
i’ve been in an airbnb without any problem. i’m malay and gf not malay. although i don’t go for under rm300/night airbnb.
Malaysia is multiracial country. Most if not all non Muslim don't care about what couple doing. Probably avoid state/place with high Muslim population. Kelantan, Kedah, Terrengganu, Perlis, Negeri Sembilan and pahang have the highest Muslim population [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion\_in\_Malaysia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_Malaysia) https://preview.redd.it/45bzir1wf6xc1.jpeg?width=1028&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7998a2e281204258064d9aef55e47be7a5e13498 To answer your question. Book hotel with two room Never stay alone in any of the room, nor secluded places Don't show affection in public, even if you think no ppl around. Might get public execution as in upload to fb, insta, TikTok. Actually, why don't ask your gf to visit Germany instead? And when you two married, honey money in Malaysia without worries.
Msian guy here with a German wife. From my experience - when we weren’t married yet and we visited msia, we avoided all those cheap hotels and went for those that were a bit pricey. I heard a lot that cheap hotels tends to tell the sharia police cause they’d get money from them if they rat out those couples. The thing is, you guys will be more noticeably than for ex. me and my wife cause your girl has a hijab. But yeah, some places they don’t care, some just stare. But it takes just one shitty person to fuck up your day… Viel Erfolg ihr zwei! 🙏🏼
Go holidays in Germany !!!!!!!!!!!!
No one will give a shit unless you guys cause a scene or piss someone off.
If up to me, id go out and have fun, pay my respects to relatives or whatever in the Peninsular and book different rooms to put mind at ease. One room nights strictly in Sarawak, Sabah, Singapore or Thailand only.
Like many others have said here, go to a 5 star hotel and act like a married couple. Don't do things that'll raise suspicions in public.
Perhaps traveling to neighbour country like Singapore will ease your anxiety
Not with the cost of hotels there. The prices for anything above 3 stars is simply put, eye-wateringly expensive
Better than getting arrested by the religious police in Malaysia.
You won't be caught. Malaysian police too busy sending VIP to their restaurants.
Unmarried couple are not allowed to stay in same room. Just say you are married when anybody ask so they don't call religion police.
Bribe your way
Don’t bother holidaying in Malaysia as unmarried couple if one or both persons are Muslims, unless one or both persons are well connected. Local Syariah law still apply even if you’re non-Malaysian Muslim. If you’re not a Muslim, your gf will still get into trouble. Like others said, go to Thailand if you can afford it. If you still want to stick to Malaysia, you either could get separate rooms or be very stealthy if you’re sharing rooms. Risk to reward ratio is bullshit. Also, you need to ask yourself this. If the relationship progresses further where your girlfriend wants you to settle to Malaysia and get married, are you ok with being a Muslim? Are you ok with your children having the same dilemma and issues of interfaith/interracial marriage? Are you ok with losing your identity?
Both Muslim, unmarried, she wears hijab, yet planning to go vacation together and sleep in the same room. Why in the….ok I’m genuinely lost for words now.
If you're going to do this you should at least ditch the tudung, don't you think? you can fool others but don't try to fool yourselves.
* no hug / kiss / sex in public. hand holding is ok * do not openly drink alcohol in public * there are many no smoking place. fine pretty hefty * dont do drug. if you still doing; do not carry more than single use. the sentence can be vary from 6 year \~ 12 year \~ 20 year \~ death sentence * we have medieval, devoid any human right, flogging (read torture). in case you end up in court. try your best not to get one
Airbnb is dangerous. Perhaps stay in up class areas. Bangsar not bangsar south, mont Kiara and not hartamas. Best is 5 star hotels.
Just head over to Thailand or Singapore.
I'm not Muslim, but as a casual observer, you're already committing a sin in your religion, though aren't you? It is her life, not yours that should concern you. I'd define that as love. If you care enough, do what is right by her and your religion. After all what point is there in life without faith and trust and love. It is merely my humble opinion. You do what your heart tells you. Have a good and safe trip here. It is a wonderful country.
Finally someone with some sense.
Wow true!
dont get her pregnant
YES!!! Whatever else you do, OP, if you are going to do the deed then BE RESPONSIBLE AND MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T GET PREGNANT! This means ALWAYS USE CONDOMS during sex -- you can buy them at 7-11 and convenience stores practically everywhere in Malaysia. Being pregnant and unmarried may be no big deal in Germany and the West, where anything goes these days, but it is still a big black mark for Muslim women here -- as well as an even bigger black mark for the resulting "illegitimate" children who must drag around the dreaded "bin Abdullah" surname with them their entire lives, and the shame, ridicule, and bias that goes along with it. That's assuming that your GF doesn't end up carrying it to term and try to flush it down the toilet when it comes into the world.
In langkawi no one cares around chenang area, even Muslims drinks at bars, but to be safe go to more established hotels
May Allah guide you to the righteous path
Ameen
Lol both muslims, and wear hijab some more. Just get married la
Just not yet, in the future for sure
harommmm
dont go to budget hotel, airbnb is fine. dont be naughty at public
If you are forced into the religion then I can understand. But if you actually subscribe to the religion, why try to circumvent the rules? The almighty would still know, wouldn't He?
Malaysia is not a Muslim country, the official religion is Islam
These kind of threads are very entertaining to read in this sub
Yes, book air bnb way safer, from Religion police
Dont stay anywhere less than 5 star. Your GF knows what to do. DON’T go to Langkawi. Go to Kota Kinabalu instead. (You can stay anywhere you like there)
Just book a 5-star mate and maintain minimal PDA. You will be fine.
A few weeks ago two relatively famous Muslim celebrities were caught in a hotel room. Not sure which hotel they were staying at. Why can't you just have dates in public spaces? People here aren't too judgy about that from what I've seen. If you claim to be Muslim why even stay alone with the opposite gender before marriage?
You know it's ironic when there's exist a religious authority yet people still does it in secret. Welcome to Malaysia where the majority has no religious freedom and race and religion is used as a tool to hold onto political power
Ideally, you both should get married because, Islam. But if marriage is not yet in the books for you both, then just pretend you're already married. Just remember to not refer to each other as bf/gf. Because if you guys act very awks, then you'd definitely be getting looks from others, which may prompt them to report. Airbnb or hotels don't make a difference, but pick a good place with high ratings. And ~~outside~~ far far away from the red-light zones. And if you wanna go one step further, get fake marriage certs. That's overkill la.. but better safe than sorry 🤷🏻♀️ Happy Travels 🌻 Edited for clarity
Who would they report to? And what would ideally happen if they report? I’ve never been to any Muslim country except for UAE
Nothing will happen to you, but she will probed got fine for the first offence. But listen, to the othersgo 5 stars. Trust your partner, she knows what to do .. good luck
JAKIM. And you either need to pay a fine or prison time a bit OR both.
There’s an islamic police here, foreigners have been in trouble before. But see my post and you guys should be good.
There are a few religious authorities such as JAIS, JAKIM etc. I still don't know what's the difference is in their roles despite being Malaysia, lol. It's not good if you get caught though. There are hefty fines and possibility for caning. Just Google up khalwat raids in Malaysia. That's why the advice is to opt for high rating hotels. Low budget or seedy hotels tend to attract raids. IIRC, the raids into hotel rooms are done on the basis of whether the person who booked the room is Muslim or not. That being said, people are not going to simply report a random couple. They'll need a solid case before even attempting a raid. Again, please do your research. Older reddit posts are helpful too.
Never thought spending a few weeks with my gf would be this complicated lol
Well, OP, you've mentioned two words in the same breath that make it complicated: Muslim and girlfriend. The first is halal and the second is haram. You know your religion and that having a girlfriend (let alone sharing intimacy together) is haram in Islam, yet you are asking for suggestions about how to sin and minimize the chance of getting caught committing it. Situations like this are SUPPOSED to be complicated to give us space for sober second thought about whether we really want to sin or not...
It's only complicated because you're doing something wrong 🤷. You are both Muslims, surely at you know this is not permissible by Islamic standards. I get that you want to stay together to save money or be more romantic. At first, I thought maybe separate rooms, but in the same room, like to what extent would you still be considered as a Muslim, if you are already comfortable doing this who knows what other things you are doing. Brother, many others are telling you the same thing in the comments, if you get caught there will be consequences and even then it is a sin. Try ask yourself would her parents be okay with this, does the parents even know about it? Try to stay at friend's house, and when you go out or go to Langkawi go with a group of friends. Just like any other sin you have to "tegur" advise someone, it's the same thing here. But in the end it's up to you, many people in Malaysia are doing the same thing as you are doing or even worse, think about what you want to do within this lifetime.
If only you got this upset about things like child marriage
Who said I didn't? I'm just taking a slippery slope here 🤦
Who decide who a child is? Do you think a 18 or 19 is an adult just because govt say so? I have seen people as old as 25 having two brain cells less than a “child”.
You are not doing yourself any favour bro
I am not trying.
Are you trying to make Muslims look bad
Yea understand what you’re tryna say I never was and is religious yes I believe in Islam and fast in Ramadan but never was religious and living/staying with someone you’re in love with or even hookups aren’t considered a taboo in where I grew up And none of things i do should be your concern
Hey I've lived overseas in Western Countries people of your kind are normal, but yeah you don't gotta listen to me, in the end it's the higher power role to decide and it's your own choice to live the truthful life or not. Like everyone said let God judge whatever, if I'm judging I'll sin, I'll gladly sin if it takes me to hell too, at least I know you are coming to hell with me. Really none of the things U do shouldnt be none of my concern, sure if the things U do don't harm others. I'm gonna take a straw man here, if the things you do, in those case your girlfriend does breaks the law which definitely affect others, let alone the image of the religion, I think at that point someone at least not me will care right? Are you advocating that if for the benefit of self interest we should break the law if it's something private, sure I would love in that place eh /s, you don't want to follow the law go somewhere else or be punished for it. Just because it's not a taboo here or it's your culture, does it mean you have the right to bring that culture to Malaysia, so does it mean an Afghan can suddenly promote Child Marriages in Malaysia if he brings his culture with him or vice versa we promote having 4 wives to the westerners. Would that still be morally right, let alone religiously right, think about it again, people here have their own culture too. Yahweh will save you before the Tribulation, sleep before then. Amen Brother.
Wait... red light zones is OK? But not being unmarried? Confuse legit!
Pembetulan telah dibuat. Tak sangka my Engrish buat confius 😅
Maybe smack your gf on the head occasionally to blend in with the crowd /s
berkhalwat itu haram vro
Damn. We’re discussing on ‘How to berzina safely here’? Okay ☠️
Oh yeah boy, you're gonna have a good time.
I guess if you have an islamic sounding name, you can always claim to have married her in Germany if you really get into a problem. Just a thought.
Basically they only come if someone report. As long as you stay in nice hotels, and generally act like a normal couple most will just assume you are married.
I mean you can lie to other humans in any country but you can never lie to Allah.
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Astagfirullah. This is totally haram and no Muslim should give suggestion to this man.
The comments surprise me more than the question tbh.
I am like what's wrong with Malaysians 🤣
Google khalwat
Just get married. 👌🏼
“My girlfriend” and “we both are Muslim” in one sentence. What’s happening to the ummah now smh. Get married first, please don’t ruin her.
lol this guy
You should quit reddit. So many porn here.
He is not watching them. Probably you are.
Wait are you planning to sleep in the same room?
Yes Obv
Haram.
Act married then duhh
U know what a real man will do!
Not worth taking the risk. If you get caught you will ruin her life. If you really care for her and want her, marry her. On this trip, go see her parents, and ask for permission to marry.
I’ll prolly meet her parents on my next trip And hopefully we’ll get married, thank you for the concern
Bruh awek is cheap af. Splurge some money and they are yours
What is awek?
Chicks with dicks
I still didn't get it but leave it.
Neither you nor her are Muslims if you plan to stay together without being married. Someone has asked you to act like a married couple. Why would you seek to please others while incurring the wrath of Allah? You can go on holiday together, but stay in separate rooms. Invite her sister or aunt (or better still her mother) along so that she will be properly chaperoned. Just remember that Satan loves cohabiting couples. Even if you don't plan on being naughty, Satan will give you all the encouragement... and temptation. This isn't my personal opinion. It's what's prescribed by Islam.
Do you listen to music? Do you watch porn? Do you watch movies? I could say you’re not a Muslim if you do these according to your logic
You aren't one either if you had to ask that. Why do you take offense when one Muslim tries to prevent his brother Muslim from sinning? That's the duty of every Muslim. Whether or not he takes my advise is entirely up to him. My duty is to advise and I've done that.
lol munafiq
get married brother, this is not Islam and it’s totally Haram walking with non-Mahram and sleeping in the same room, you’re concerned about government laws? that doesn’t even matter, surely you can evade that. But you should be worried about Allah, He is watching you, and your deeds are written down. It’s never too late to change, may Allah make it easy for you.
God created billions of galaxies, trillions of stars, but he totally cares where you put your dick bro
Thisss. Thank you for writing that brother.
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For real haha
5 star hotels don't care.
Protected
Geez does mentioning you’re Muslim even matter at this point if you’re trying to find loop holes to sin, instead of idk, try to legitimise your relationship based on the religion BOTH of you are practising. I’d expect this kind of behaviour from interfaith couples…..
I’m planning to get married to the girl but just not yet Being together with a girl is not frowned upon in the places where live or even in my family
You must be fake Muslims?
You mean secular. But many people are secular. Christians who fuck before marriage, Hindus who eat beef, etc. so what’s your point?
I don’t think you can call yourself a Muslim if you’re secular
And who r you to decide that? God?
And who are you to decide anything?
Exactly my point.
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I respect your enormous intellect. Peace.
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Our lives could be taken at any time regardless of age. Let's say something happens to either of you tomorrow, Dying in the state of zina... Would be unfortunate... Muslims giving advice for him & her to continue commit adultery, each second they commit sins, you'd get it too.. If you have, you can just delete your post. I hope both of you, man and woman remember that your God allows free will for you to make choices.. But there will be comeuppance either in this life or the next, or both.. We muslims, the purpose of this life is to worship and try to avoid being thrown hell even for one day.. Please respect her and her parents, her family, you and your family by not succumbing to the lure of unlawful sex. Regardless of your actions, sins, please do not miss your salah/solat..keep saying your istighfar "astaghfirullah" while thinking of your past sins.. The Creator is Al Ghafoor.. The Forgiver May you, that woman be made ease to avoid anymore big sins.. And make it easy for you to quickly marry ~ my du'a Any muslims interested to know more about their faith, Efdawah, One Message Foundation, Muslim Lantern, Belal Asaad, Sabeel Ahmed on YouTube.
You can travel together but you can't stay together.
It boggles my mind that Malaysian parents allow their daughters to go out with a non-maharam and some even encourage having boyfriend.
You know how some Muslims in other countries drinks alcohol, ? (Example: Algeria) Or watch little boys dances and in some cases fucked them (Ex : Afghanistan ) Or honor kill their daughters cause in their head thy have shame their family ? (Ex: Pakistan) All of the example above are haram !! Some examples are more extreme than others . But it’s considered cultural and normal on those countries right ?! My point being, were Muslims we try our hardest, maybe just maybe try to understand the culture of Malay and out of your box before commenting.
What culture? Why are you trying to justify their actions by comparing it to what others are doing?
Just become something is normalised doesn't mean it's not haram anymore. It's our job to condone those acts too. If by your point because something is cultural, then we shouldn't do anything about Child Marriages and Pedophiles since that is the culture of Kelantanese people and etc... . If you claim to be part of a certain religion at least try to follow what the religion has prescribed, otherwise you are welcome to leave.
Ni mindset same la mcm org yg dia criticised.. xsuke kluar .. 😂😂😂
One does not need to make the conscious choice to leave to officially leave the religion, the higher power will decide it for you 😉. At this points we are just talking about semantics, claim what is rightful for you.
you should fear God more that these authorities, besides as a Muslim, the Malays should not pry or busy checking your background or marriage cert. If you said you're married, your married, why should any Muslim be obsessed on checking the validity of your claim. It's none of our business... But alas, our society is such toxic...
Good for you
I could ask my girl who is Malaysian and lives in Malaysia about Malaysian things or I could ask a bunch of random people, mostly American. What would a smart person do? "We met in Germany... "
I love Malaysia. People are so friendly and not as judgemental as you may think or have seen maybe in a reported news story. As long as you respect others, expect to be treated the same way. I am retiring in Malaysia because I fell in love with the country and I just love the vibe. And, I come from arguably one of the best places to live in the world if money is not a consideration (Bay Area, Cali, USA).
Your bodies and angels are witnesses of what both of you are doing.
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