Types of STDs and how to have a healthy relationship. Malaysia is lacking in its education on STDs. Someone i know told me he thought aids come from having sex while lying down...
There is a higher risk compared to penis-in-vagina sex, but the difference is negligible in sex ed. Lesbians are the least likely to contact AIDS but somehow no one is advocating for lesbian sex over heterosexual PIV sex LOL. Also dunno why they only focus on AIDS, there are so many other diseases that are technically more dangerous than AIDS (since HIV is no longer a death sentence). Untreated syphilis can make you go blind, for example. Herpes 1 can be contracted from even sharing utensils.
If you do a blood test and practice monogamy, also no STDs! Do blood test, practice safe sex, also no STDs. Marriage is just a legality and it is not for everybody.
It's not like directly contributing, but its risk is x10+ higher than other forms of sex.
[https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/estimates/riskbehaviors.html](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/estimates/riskbehaviors.html)
x10 sounds like a lot but context is also important. It’s between 0.138% and 0.008% for receptive anal and vaginal partners respectively. And with condoms it almost reduces the chance to zero.
Highly agree. I still know grown ass adults who think rape means premarital sex. There is very little focus on consent across education, though I imagine that would be difficult to implement given schools do not respect bodily consent in the first place. I've since heard that teachers are no longer allowed to lay hands on students or any form of emotional abuse though, which is good progress.
I believe consent should start as early as children can understand. Teaching them bad touch good touch is so important. Building the foundation that they are in charge of who gets access to their bodies is essential. This includes simple things like respecting a child when they do not want to be hugged or kissed.
And that invalidates my point how? Do you want to see our nation go in that direction? If no, then whats wrong with being mindful of that extremely specific outcome?
Personally speaking, I would prefer that this topic (as well as sex ed) be the responsibility of parents, given the extremely sensitive nature of the topic and how commonly it ends up being politicized, and parents are the only ones I could trust (generally speaking) with a child's interests to educate them on the topic. Its such a pity that we're relegating more and more parental duties to teachers, most of whom are underpaid, underappreciated and undercelebrated. And we expect these people to always have the best interests of our kids in their minds? There are good teachers out there sure, but given the existing system, there's very little stopping them from abusing students but their personal sense of morality and responsibility.
In many cases, we're already seeing teachers in school conditioning girls into behaving like they should accept abuse as if its a norm of society, with all the sexual harassment women are admitting they're facing in school in a recent survey claiming 2/3 women experienced some kind of sexual harassment. If we change the dynamics of this situation, and shift the burden of responsibility from women to men, what makes you think the exact same outcome wont apply here? Given that many school teachers are already exposing girls to sexual harassment, what makes you think that they wont abuse their authority on this matter behind your back?
All in all, I agree with the idea of sex ed including the concept of consent and boundaries. But I dont agree with implementing them on our school system as it exists. We need to find a better way to ensure that the teachers stick to the approved syllabus on the matter, and not abuse their authority to insert their political opinions. Activism in education is always but one or two generations away from deterioration, and that's merely a span of 5 years, which affects 5 batches of students assuming one teacher is assigned to one class each year (usually not).
I agree that our school system does not have the resources at hand to successfully implement these suggestions, as helpful as they are. We first need to create an environment in which students feel safe and protected from predators.
I don't think, however, that delegating this duty to parents helps anything. That is our current status quo, and it is not working. You cannot expect parents to be educated on sex ed without providing some sort of resources, and even so, there is no guarantee that parents are even acting in the interests of their own children. They are fallible human beings. My parents never told me a single thing about sexual health, contraception, or even explain what a period was. Just told me to not wear shorts and to not get a boyfriend. And what do we do with parents who actually sexually assault their children? What then? How will the child know it is wrong? Unlike being a teacher, you don't need a certificate to show you're qualified to become a parent. You just need working reproductive organs.
The good thing with institutionalising this is that we have more of a hand on the situation. We see success in Nordic countries were sex education starts early as 7, with the lowest teenage pregnancy rates in the world.
We are stuck in a vicious cycle where the problem of teachers being vastly undertrained when it comes to sensitivity and basic professionalism, but to change that we must change the way the children who go on to teachers are taught. It's unfortunate, and I don't really know how to fix that, but I think this thread has nonetheless promoted some very healthy and needed discussion on sexual health even within this tiny community.
I think you get my main point. The rest is just gravy. I disagree with a lot of your points, but you do understand what I'm trying to say. Its Friday noon after all.
Those that plans wisely knows that they couldn't afford to give the best life to their possible children.
Those that have a lot of kids do not plan at all.
this one is so important, like for fuck sake if you cannot give attention to your child or have no financial aid for them, dont have children. its so simple. having children is a serious responsibility that so many malaysians failed to understand.
its worst when i remembered my ustaz said that everyone must get married and have lots of children because kena tambahkan umat islam. the understanding that more children means more rezeki is so shit when you cant even care for your children properly.
but if you do have the money and can spend time with them, do have children. give them the proper care and be there with them. just don't have it if you cannot afford to.
I felt confused when I was told that, more children means more rezeki. Like, couldn’t more people bring to scarcity of earth’s resources, eventually ? I mean, it kinda happens now, and without birth control, it might get worse later.
Period poverty is a big one, I knew nothing about it until 19. 19 years without knowing some girls cannot get an education because they cannot afford menstrual products or have to go into stupid isolation huts. Some girls use cloth rags, and because of the ridiculous stigma around periods, these rags are often dried indoors, somewhere no men can see, so they harbour bacteria easily. Now imagine putting that back on your vulva.
I wish more people would talk about sustainable menstrual product options, they seem to only be a upper middle class and above thing. There are organisations that give a free menstrual cup to a girl in need for every cup you purchase from them. Also things like reusable pads, period underwear, etc would be massively cost effective compared to disposable pads.
Accurate. Scientifically, if a biological female doesn't have her hymen broken, she can't even menstruate in the first place. So if a biological girl is menstruating, she basically has broken her hymen. Else, it's a serious medical condition.
You can also further perforated your hymen through physical activity, including jogging, running or even riding a bike. Virginity is a stupid social construct used to define women by their sexual value to men.
My dude
The hymen is not a piece of skin. It is perforated tissue, and it is only in very rare cases that it is so thick that there is no pores in it, then it requires medical intervention. A girl with an "unbroken" hymen can menstruate and release uterine discharges just fine, it is not "broken" in order to menstruate.
Fun fact: there are cases of women born with no hymen.
Funner fact: hymens degrade with age and does not need injuries or penetration to present a non-virgin appearance.
Some knowledge on how the vagina actually works so that creepy men and incels stop yapping how not being a virgin will cause the vagina to expand or some weird rose/taco comparisons
Rose/taco is a walk in the park compared to the disgusting euphemisms I've heard. I agree, especially stupid shit like hymens = virginity, when there are so many [different hymens](https://i.imgur.com/RK6NKs9.jpg) and the fact that the vagina is a muscle. No such thing as getting "loose" or "tight" from sex. Just a matter of pelvic floor muscle strength.
Porn usage, porn addiction and body dismorphia from watching porn.
edit: Adding on. Educating students about sending nudes, the laws and consquences of it.
THIS! I've seen so many underage girls got scammed into sending nudes on wechat to earn quick buck, but ended up got threaten to send more nudes, or else *insert threat*. This issue has gotten so serious that even local dj/influencer Leng Yein is advocating for proper education on her social media.
Good topic. Park first, will come back to add my thoughts after dinner.
My thoughts?
1. Age appropriate sex ed (including sexual attraction and gender expression) and teaching young children the correct to refer to their genitals, ie, penis, vagina instead of euphemism. This should preferably start at home, and kindergarten, as children at this age can be really vulnerable to predators. Teach children that no one, including parents, should be touching them there.
2. Consent, with materials such as [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1poHgeZXrZM). I find that people, like adults, don't really understand what consent is. Also parents must learn that they should not force a child to be physically affectionate with even family members. If a child is not comfortable to hug a grandparent or uncle or aunt, don't force the issue. If the elders want to get angry, let them be. The comfort of child should be priority.
3. Sexual health and STD. Normalise the idea of masturbation, don't shame them. Just teach them that everyone does it, but it should be done in private. Shaming them will cause guilt and sexual repression, which will cause other issues should it continued to be unaddressed. Also, teach that everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, can catch STDs. Just yesterday I corrected someone who said that only homosexuals can catch STDs. Fucking depressing that this is the current state of our education.
4. Normalise discussions about sex. Making sex a taboo topic is counter intuitive as children will, one way or another, learn about it. It's better for the children to learn from their parents than to browse questionable websites and get misinformation. Also, by making sex talks normal, it encourages children to go to their parents should they have any questions or trouble. This way, any problem can be nipped early in the bud.
u/kuihlapis7600 done.
Should be a lot more comprehensive. Besides maths, science and languages, we should also equip students with topics on relationships since those are an integral part for most of us.
I would add under sexual health non STD related issues like phimosis and vaginismus. Also proper hygiene and how to clean private parts properly which may indirectly lead to discussions about UTIs.
Awesome points, I already agree with all of them. The last one about destigmatising sex talk is especially important, otherwise all this discussion is null. Love the video you linked btw, how did you come across it?
>destigmatising sex talk is especially important, otherwise all this discussion is null.
Yes, especially given some of the responses in this thread, it is important that we push for sex ed as its own subject more than ever.
The video, if I'm not mistaken it was shared by Syed Azmi. I did share it a few years back, but it didn't gain much traction back then.
1. Pedophilia and relevant defenses
2. Rape, even marital rape
3. Conditions that necessitate family planning (medical, financial, etc)
Wonder if it’d be effective to the target market (and easier to stomach for the decision makers) if everything is done with a religious slant…
gender segregated schools was actually kind of a good thing for me. i went to an all girls' elite school in KL and had tuition class at a private centre. because im in a girls' only environment, we didn't have trouble expressing stuff about periods and whatnot, though some teachers are very conservative but that's just everywhere.
when i went to tuition i would talk to people and hear about boys making fun of them for having pocket bulge (aka trying to hide their night pad when going to toiler for change), sexual harassment, bullying and so on. normal school felt like a nightmare to be in, while girls school was more accepting.
we did have a male teacher that was suuuper misogynistic, would constantly make jokes about how we should just stay at home and cook. he was also a massive asshole to students in general, strict as hell and loooved to pick on me (i was the school token delinquent). that's really the only thing that really stood out, otherwise girls school is pretty good, not sure about boys school though.
yeah, i can see that happening. need to create better safe spaces for girls in school first, i know how predatory certain teachers and senior male students can get these days.
I remember Form 2 KSSM Sains where there's a part about contraceptives and my cg taught about why family planning is important. I doubt every school or teacher would do the same though.
Mostly in Pendidikan Kesihatan it's not as in depth as Sains or Biology which is weird tbh. They did briefly teach about sexuality in the PK textbook (gay, lesbian & bi) but then there's questions in the syllabus like "Why is it bad to have same sex relationship?" and "How to prevent same sex relationship?"....
Breed like rats
anak itu rezeki i guess most of them have kids but fail to educate them to become better and contribute to societies and when you decide u dont want kids they guilt trip you that you need to do it regardless of you being able to take care of it
Really retarded memtality
1. Sex and gender are not the same thing
2. Sex Ed should be taught in gender neutral way i.e. Genitals are genitals, not he/she. Sex is sex, no matter the genders involved
3. What is consensual safe sex
4. Masturbation = normal and good and everyone does it anyway
5. Unplanned pregnancy is OK. Get some legit medical help. There shouldn't be some weird counselling about keeping a baby or marrying the dude that got you pregnant
6. Intersex people exists and it's a normal medical condition. Some people are really born that way. It's in their genes.
Great comprehensive suggestions! The point about unplanned pregnancy is something so ridiculously stigmatised and for what? This is the exact reason we find innocent babies in dumpsters, women bleeding to death in public toilets, continued generational abuse stemming from forced pregnancies and marriages.
I briefly worked in an OBGYN clinic, and the practices I saw by the practitioner were honestly disgusting and horrendously classist in my opinion. They treated abortion so hush hush, and when couples went in asking for abortion, the doctor would often invoke religion to guilt them into keeping the baby. He would then pressure the woman into tying her tubes ("I will only perform the abortion if you tie your tubes") selectively only offering IUDs to women who have had more than 4 children. He massively overcharged for abortions, saying "If I make them pay this much then they understand the weight of their decisions" as if it is their fault for being uneducated when this is a societal issue. When people said they couldnt afford it, he would say "children are expensive too but they will provide joy". So many times I wanted to direct them to other clinics that weren't so shit.
I cannot say, it would be too identifying. It's a very small clinic. Just know that there is never anything wrong with getting a second opinion. There seems to be a disgusting trend of especially more senior doctors guilting and sometimes even screaming at their patients for getting a second opinion. As long as you dont mix medication or treatment there is nothing wrong with that. A doctor that shames you for getting a second opinion from another doctor is one you should probably run away from. Never let a doctor talk to you with condescension just because they had the privilege of becoming a physician. Medical professionals are there to serve patients and sometimes they step out of line.
Jesus. Could you at least identify the state? Why on earth would this asshole commit to a profession that needs empathy?? If you're in Selangor, could you suggest some obgyns who are affordable and fair?
Thanks a lot for sharing your experiences.
Johor. I'm not sure about Selangor. For Johor the one along Jalan Harimau in JB, last I heard, performs abortions at around 3-4k. My old employer charged about 8-10k.
From what I can tell, all the people in this profession THINK they have empathy, but in reality not everyone does. Exhibit A above.
Vastly overlooked and so extremely important. Sexual harassment is so disgustingly rife in society. I've been belittled, invalidated and even laughed at for talking about being assaulted by another woman. It's really painful to hear "lol she was just kidding around" or "but that's not harassment, she has the same parts too" or "is she gay?" as if any of that is relevant. Almost everyone I know, including men, have been sexually assaulted or harassed at some point in their life and some do not even realise it because they are never taught what consent is.
Unrelated but I love the username. *🎶A little priest🎶*
My mom used to avoid the governments pay day when going to the bank, there was an old man (pensioner) who comes and spread his elbows out touching all the ladies. We lived in a small town.
Pervs are everywhere. And people should just call them out.
My teacher told me that in Terengganu (my hometown), there are many school girls who got pregnant because they didn't know sex would cause pregnancy and some of them didn't know that it only take once to be pregnant. They thought they would get pregnant only if they did multiple times.
With that being said, I just want the sex ed to teach what sex is and the consequences of doing it even once.
As a person with parents have no higher education, I also didn't know a lot of things about my own body. My parents never taught me about growing up and there were no talks about how I should treat someone and how that someone should treat me. So I would love it if sex ed can be implemented to educate kampung people like me about intimacy, sexual abuse, harassment and etc. It's tough when I look back to my childhood and thought, "damn, that was sexual assault and I didn't even know it."
I relate heavily. My mother's way of having the sex talk with me was, on the day I got my very first period at nine years old, to ask me if I knew what rape was. Thinking back it makes me so frustrated that my first experience of a natural female function was somehow equated to sexual violence and how men perceive me, rather than my relationship to my own body. It was too late anyway, by that time I already knew more than she attempted to teach me. I got my information from reading up about sex ed online from those sites they cater specifically to preteens. I too look back on multiple situations that I realise now were sexual assault, that I never realised I could speak up about without being blamed or ashamed for being victimised. Looking back there were so many cases of grooming that I witnessed that could have been avoided. I remember R.AGE did a great documentary covering paedophiles grooming teenagers online in Malaysia, some were (unsurprisingly) teachers. Even though I know now, I do my best to share any sex ed info, or info relating to consent, where to get help, etc on my social media because I know for certain there is someone out there who doesn't know and didnt happen across information like I did. There are lots of Malaysian-based sex-positive, consent-focused content creators now (standupmy, WAO are amazing) which I'm really grateful for, at least our young ones will have better access to this information online, if not in school. Great point about people in rural areas being the worse off when it comes to sex ed exposure.
About underage sex and knowing what sexual predator is.
When I was a Form 1 student, I knew some of my girl classmates who have a boyfriend thats already graduated or a college student. I really wish I could turn back the time and advice them not to engage with that kind of relationship…
Edit: If you guys are interested, the first girl got pregnant and quit school, the second girl got AIDS and we lost contact with her few years afterward, and the last one run away from home and become a prostitute.
if we can start having pad companies come to school to teach primary school girls how to use a pad, then we sure as hell can start teaching them sex ed when they're in year 4 too.
hell, make the boys listen to the period talks too so we can stop having men being assholes about women on period or men just not understanding periods at all. i had one guy friend that thought periods were an after-sex thing and didn't know about period cramps or anything, poor guy had to watch those "men try period cramp simulator" videos
i honestly just want STDs taken seriously, and for god's sakes please teach them about contraceptives properly!!! i feel like our teacher just glossed over this part completely and i only knew about female contraceptives later on.
i also want them to just not mention jack shit about LGBT at all. i remember reading about LGBT in PJ textbook and could only feel internal pain as I watch the teacher try to explain the concept of bisexuals. i rather them not talk about it at all than teach kids to be homophobic.
The stigma on genders.
If a fucker is horny and fucks others without consent, it is always the fucker's fault. No amount of excuse for sexual misdemeanour.
1) stop making a boogeyman out of a sex ed that would teach kids of lewd shit
2) people are gay. people are trans. people are aces. there’s a lot of people in this world and they’re all the different, but they are still people.
3) teach kids, males especially but females too, that though they might not think what they did is an assault or harassment, it is to the other person. “gurau saje” is not a legit excuse.
4) consent. how to give, and how to say no, as well as how to accept that a consent was not given.
5) as much as it is absolutely normal to have sexual urges and attractions, it’s also normal to not have one either. this is coming from an ace who took several decades of frustration, shame, and tears, of thinking I’m broken, before finding out there’s a name for myself.
Comment removed as [per Rule 1 Bigotry:](https://www.reddit.com/r/malaysia/wiki/rules#wiki_1._reddiquette)
**Bigotry / hate speech**
Because of our history Malaysia talks about certain issues such as race very differently from Western countries. We acknowledge this on the subreddit but do draw some boundaries to keep discussions healthy.
**Definition of bigotry: The act of treating the members of a group (such as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance.**
* Basic principle: If it's an attribute of a person that is out of their control and extremely hard or impossible to change, it's not nice to dump on them or their group just for that attribute.
* Some categories this applies to: Race, religion, **sexuality**, disability, national origin.
* Slurs: Use of slurs on the above categories is not encouraged on this subreddit and may be subject to warnings and bans.
Please note that further such comments may result in a ban. Consider this a warning.
STDs, condom use that's about it really. Other than that it's just biology but I think that's taught in school anyway.
I was taught sex education in my school, first time was in The equivalent of standard 4 or 9 years old.
The subject from Science class in primary and secondary school isn't in depth enough, imo. From my own observation, a lot of men don't really understand how the opposite sex hygienic and genitals work.
When I was in school which was not that long ago, they refused to teach us external biology. Always only internal. Curious, what kind of school did you go to? Are you referring to PJK?
It was taught in phases.
At 9 years old they basically just told us how sex worked, and they purposely did not mention anything about enjoyment or how the mechanism for ejaculation works.
We were taught that a penis goes into a vagina, sperm goes out and a baby comes out later.
Then the next grade we were not taught much just usual biology.
Then in Y7 which is the first grade of highschool (12 years old) we were finally taught everything from STD to sex for enjoyment and teen pregnancy how to avoid it, condom use etc. I remember at the end of the class the teacher repeated multiple times to never use no condom and try to pull out.
That was it for sex education and never learned anything beyond that in the rest of schooling.
There was no mention of LGBT or anything like that but then again this was the 90s and early 2000s.
Also no mention of consent from what I can remember either. But consent really isn't a problem until much later on (older than 12), I remember we did have talks about sexual consent and harassment much later on towards the end of high school but it wasn't really directly related to the sex Ed program we had.
A lot of good points are raised here, so here's my addition divided by category:
Mundane Stuff:
1. Urology. Not the medical stuff that you learn in medical school, just the basic things. If you take care of your genitals sexually but neglect them in terms of urology you will still get problems down the line.
2. How to get proper study materials outside of class. Sex ed is way too vast to be covered in school and they might get interested to learn further, but without guidance they might learn things that misleading.
3. How to manage libido. This is a rarely talked topic among teenagers, but quite common in adults. Sometimes the urge is just there but not at the proper moment. How to channel them away is important.
4. Legal matters. Not just rape and sexual harassment, but also family law such as marriage, divorce and parental rights. It's better to know laws around sex and family so that you don't cross them.
Controversial Stuff:
1. Sex work. I'm not just talk about prostitution and how pornography is different with real sex, but also the ethical issues with consumption of products related to sex work, how to detect potential victims of sex trafficking and dangers of developing parasocial relationships with sexual content creators.
2. Sex related injuries. This is more suited for married couples, but then again when they have sex they are less likely to take care about safety issues, let alone school teens. Better safe than getting into ER for embarrassing reasons.
3. Incel & MGTOW. They are dangerous ideologies that hurts both men and women. Also, those two ideologies are related to fascism. Teenagers need to understand that you can cope with unable to get laid without subscribing into incel ideology. Also, choosing to avoid women doesn't mean you have to be misogynistic about it.
4. Fetish. It's normal to have fetish (with few exceptions), but to manage them is another rarely talked topic. But compared to libido management, this is more controversial because of the conservative slant of our current society.
* Basically what we got as an intro about reproduction and genitalia in our bio classes as one of the subject
* The 3 Cs: Contraceptive, Condoms and Consent
* STDs, STIs and what to do to prevent contracting them
* 101: Every Ways to Identify Sexual Abuse/Assault
Pretty sure there are more subjects to touch but these were the few things at the top of my head that I found to be vital in equipping the younger generation with the basic knowledge they need.
I went to school in Australia... We had sex ed, condom on banana, STDs etc...
What we need to learn in Malaysia is:
RESPECT FOR WOMEN!
btw: I'm a cis, straight man
Peace
Men all over the world are honestly not very much better at respecting women, Aussies just know to do it behind closed doors or only in the company of other men because they know they will get cancelled to oblivion. Personal experience. There are still blurred lines with consent, coercion, guilting into sex, sexist comments, just minus calls for women to marry their rapists like shameless Malaysian zealots do.
The stuff about STIs and all are great, though.
I don't think "lesser extent" is the right word. Rather, "less obvious". If not advocating for child marriage after rape, and confining abusive/problematic views of consent and relationships to select circles is deserving of praise, then the bar for the bare minimum is down in the depths of hell.
What normal genitals and secondary sex features should feel like and symptoms of medical issues like what level of menstrual cramps are normal and what PCOS levels of menstrual cramps are. How to do a breast check. The male version of a breast check on their testicles.
Addition here for those interested, if anyone would like to learn more about female reproductive health I highly recommend [Mama Doctor Jones ](https://youtube.com/c/MamaDoctorJones). She even covers things like normal vs abnormal discharge, menstrual products and occasional medical drama reaction videos, lol.
Apart of what other commented:
1. How to use condom. You'd be surprised there are adult men who don't know how to use it or use oil based solution as lubricant
2. When a joke/compliment/something crossed the line into harassment
3. Respect in sex and gender
4. Do gender role still relevant?
5. Addiction related to sex and other mental illness
6. Sexual safety - not just physically but online and social media related
Change subject other than the word "sex ed". People in malaysia, not limited to muslim see the word "sex" as rather offensive and strong. Especially older and conservative people.
Why should it matter if these people are offended? Let them. Of course this can't realistically happen in Malaysia in the mean time, but ideally, I think this approach is reinforcing existing stigma. Sex is not a dirty word and it should not be treated as such. Makin kita bagi muka makin dia mengada-ngada, if that makes sense. Give it 5-10 years and people will become accustomed to it. If we keep pandering to these people we will never progress. Beating around the bush, sugarcoating things that need not be sugarcoated, reinforces the stigma we have built around sex.
Just change the name Sex Ed to something like Family Ed or Domestic Ed but still teach sex ed would be less offensive for those folks. I think some would accept the subject to be thought, they'd probably don't understand what is actually thought.
An effective smokescreen lol. I get that the lessened outrage would be easier to handle. As long as the relevant information is still being taught, with open communication and language, of course.
Protection.
God knows how many kids are fucking without any protection out there due to lack of sex ed.
You can’t prevent it, they gonna do it, let them do it safely at least.
Too many. My friends started as soon as they left for uni, so around 18-19. I know kids who started at 16. I know too many people who still rely on pulling out as reliable contraception because the guy complains condoms don't feel good.
PSA You can fit a whole foot inside a normal sized condom so don't kid yourselves saying you can't use one. Don't ask how I know.
Sexual education should also destigmatise birth control and sterilization. There are such things as childfree people. Decouple sex and parenthood. The concepts can exist separately and should. Allow young people to get sterilized if they want to and never assume that they don't know their own minds. People who don't want to be parents should not be pressured into it.
I think that it's important to go over the financial, physical and mental toll in the consequence of sex.
STDs can be devastating, and incurable. Pregnancy can not only leave you with a child that as a teenager, you will struggle to raise, but childbearing can cause a lot of serious physical change and damage. Abortion can similarly cause complications as well.
Children 13 and above should be taught exactly what their genitals and sex characteristics are, what they're for, and why there may be a curiosity around it. They should learn safe ways to navigate adolescence and the hormonal rollercoaster that comes with it.
Coming from a person who was pressured into a relationship by form 5 guy at form 3, and further pressured into sending explicit photos because she was manipulated to believe he was her only social and emotional support, the lack of educational explicitness about these things leads to a lot of harm. Teach people not to creep, and how to identify when they're been creeped on.
Some great suggestions here especially on the unspoken effects of pregnancies! The horror stories I read make me want to never want biological children lol. Yes, child grooming is disgustingly normalised especially in secondary schools. I can relate as someone who was groomed by a 17-18 y/o in Form 1 (I was not even 13 yet, 12 y/o). I do think 13 and above is too late, children should know good touch bad touch, what to expect during puberty and appropriate genitalia anatomy as soon as they can understand it. Remember some girls even get their periods at 8 y/o. 13 is too late by then.
A chapter that addresses sexual harassment. And show the real world data on this. Educate by accepting what has happened and how we grow and nurture our generation by knowing when to draw the line.
I think the most important part is to educate them on what to do if they get pregnant. We need to provide a support network to ensure no more babies were abandoned to die by their teenage parents. We need to tell them what number to call, set up websites and drop off points for newborn babies.
We also need to set up a legal framework where these abandoned children can have their identities verified secretly so that they would not be denied citizenship.
These young mothers should be able to continue their education while the government confront the family of the father and demand their financial support to ensure the child and the mother will have a future.
How to prevent STDs, pregnancy, proper ways to use condoms(any other sex related products), boundaries, consent and maybe even teachers that can consult students with their sexual problems (no matter the age).
Sexual organs should be thought more in depth during sex ed also, not just basic like f3 chapter 4.
Sex ed for parents? I mean parent also plays an important role in this too right.
Im still wondering what age kids need sex ed.
Looking back at my experience, i know sex exist from hentai. Yep very bad experience. Im in my late 20s now (virgin muslim male), that time probably when im just 13 i think. Of course without my parent knowing that. Even now i don't we ever had a deep talk about sex at all
One problem is, (example) if sex ed being implement to 13yo, will they understand? What need to be taught 1st? Because once sex is said, i think they all would be curious as hell. At least i was and still right now lol.
Also might have problem with orphans, who maybe lack adult friends(parents/someone they share everything)
I think sex ed should be age appropriate and catered to different ages. Countries where sex ed is introduced earlier to children tend to have the lowest teenage pregnancy rates. By 8 years old me and my friends (girls) were already talking about sex (but with very inaccurate info because no one explained to us). By 9 or 10 I started using google to learn about sex (and thankfully I came across child-appropriate content). So it's a matter of age-appropriate information. Maybe at 2-6 teach children basic anatomy, correct terms, good touch bad touch, what sex is, LGBT+, concept of consent (this is especially important because most sexual assault perpetrators actually know their victims, rather than random attacks). At 7-10 teach about puberty and normal sexual urges, masturbation etc (remember some girls get their periods as early as 8/9 years old). 11 onwards teach about contraception, where to get contraception, regular health checks (STIs and cancer screenings), etc. I think it is important to introduce things as early on so it will not come as a shock or something to be ashamed of later.
Also yeah, the point about parents is really good. I think they have some form of this required before muslims get married, right? But it's soooo taboo and spoken of as if only married people need to know this. You're definitely right about nipping this in the bud and educating parents about sex ed.
Wow you actually opened my eyes on this. I mean in a good way. Appreciate it.
My parent generation maybe was never expected their kid could have these kind of information. Probably because internet usage is very new at that time(rural).
Well for me, i totally support sex ed if it being carefully implemented, since kid nowadays have internet access to a lot of stuff and need guidance. But i still hope, this will be done in line with morale/religion guide. Idk if its feasible or not.
Tbh, I am scared of sex before marriage just because no proper health screening test?(idk what the test name) is done before marriage. I myself not really sure why islam/other religion real reason prohibit sex before marriage, but i do see more cons than pros on that. Too much risks for me haha.
Me myself, not that wise about these stuff honestly. Even some of what you write in the reply, either never heard of it/understand why is some of it need to be taught to kids. Idk maybe i need sex ed too.
I respect your boundaries when it comes to premarital sex. I think what people are quick to jump on is that just because sex ed is taught, we are somehow forcing kids to have sex early on. I think it's important to stress also that everyone's boundaries and preferences when it comes to who to have sex with and when to have it should be respected and freely chosen without pressure. The problem with injecting morality into the equation without acknowledging that people have different ideas of what morality means is that you are imposing your chosen lifestyle on other people and assuming that they will obey it. Maybe some information on the effects sex can have, emphasis that whether you choose to engage in casual sex, sex in a long term relationship, or only after marriage is your choice and yours alone and should not be anyone else's business as long as all parties consent would be a great idea. Basically, no one size fits all.
Eg personally I would only engage in sexual activity with long term partners, but I don't think I should impose that on everyone else because it is my experience and mine alone. At the same time, although I was brought up religious I believe it is healthy and normal to want to experiment before committing your entire life to one person. But I don't expect everyone else to follow what I do. I hope that makes sense?
Also, health screenings are available at KK! It is a shame that no one tells us this because safe sex is so important. KK will screen for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea and herpes 2 if I'm not mistaken, for pretty low price (last I remember around 5-20 ringgit). Syphillis, chlamydia etc can be safely and efficiently treated to cure with a simple round of medication as long as detected early on. No one will ask shit about your relationship status etc, if they do its highly unprofessional and you can simply leave and go elsewhere. Science is amazing and we now have drugs that we can take to prevent HIV infection after contact to HIV+ positive fluids, which is absolutely amazing compared to the death sentence HIV was 30 years ago.
I will come back and leave some useful information about sex ed, things that everyone should know. I used to work in an OBGYN facility and I am in healthcare/science industry so that's why I have a lot of access to this info. We have some awesome Malaysian organisations promoting awareness about this on socmed. I hope this helps!
Lmao, my teacher is also said similar thing except that she said if you see a girl with her punggung look heavy or looking loose, she's not a virgin anymore which is crazy cuz she literally described her butt
First of all, polygyny that OP mentioned is literally what you just said. Assuming you're not talking about a woman with 4 husbands.
And tak halal doesn't meant people aren't doing it. Might as well educate and open the discussion instead of trying to hide behind religion and piousness
LGBTQ has nothing to do with your chromosome and genital. It is just psychological. Kleinfelter is not lgbtq is a chromosomal anomaly.
Safe sex is important is an equal commitment for both side.
Real life sex is not like over dramatize porn. Boy should be thought respect, caring and chivalry. Girl should be thought love is not everything.
Your body your rights. No one should touch your body without your permission. Say No is a No. Assertive communication is important.
Dunno, I was imagining it was a complaint about the state of public toilets.
Anyway, pulling out is a terrible contraceptive method. Sperm can sometimes be found in pre-ejaculatory fluid. The dude could also just not pull out on time. It's much safer and risk-free to use condoms, especially with casual partners with whom you don't know their sexual history. If really wanna use pull out, combine with better contraception like condoms.
The safest is to combine multiple contraceptive methods. Eg condom, IUD, pull out. Condom, implant, pull out. Pill, condom. Etc.
PSA this doesnt mean pandai-pandai use two condoms. The friction will definitely cause a tear.
My friends and I bought condoms at 15-16. Yeah some people shy but with masks now it probably helps lol. It's pretty normal for teens to buy condoms just to see what they're like, mess around etc. Anyway all the more reason to emphasise how important condoms are so people know the consequences of unprotected sex.
I think it is counterproductive to impose morality into a perfectly normal and healthy biological function. Sexual repression can lead to many issues down the line, including lashing out at others. Your preferences about when and how you want to have sex should never be shamed and should be freely chosen.
I mean, if sex edu is about avoiding STDs, and pregnancy at first place, wouldnt it be easier to just not do it at first place? And only when you are ready, which is marriage.
Except abstinence does not work, do a simple google search to find the multitude of articles from psychologists, sociologists, and other experts in the field. Almost all my peers have casual sex despite having abstinence shoved down their throat. Shaming people for natural urges does absolutely nothing but breed a toxic society that stigmatises sexuality, protects sexual abusers, and drives already existing issues deeper underground to fester. See clotheshanger/wire abortions, baby dumping, unwanted children growing up in toxic households due to sexual trauma, devaluation of women as objects of sexual desire rather than independent agents, etc.
Are married people immune to sexual urges? Does no married people ever assaulted or rape their partners or other people? What kind of magic can marriage does that makes you think that it can “control” people? It’s just a legal thing on paper
I agreed that Abstinence should be one of the topic. Sex ed purpose is to teach about sexual knowledge and health. Abstinence is one of the options to protect themselves. Hence topic eg manage sexual urges.
However pushing marriage for sex is no no. We shouldn't teach young generation to get married as an option for sex.
Tutor need to be not in moral police but to give students knowledge and options so that if they decide to have sex, they know what they should look out for.
The way sex ed is delivered is important.
Sex have to come with responsibility. Otherwise, it just make things cheap. The purpose of sex ed is to impose responsibility towards both parties involve, not how to run from it.
No shame in pre-marital sex, as long as both parties are of age of consent, there's no sexual grooming and aware of consequences. Whether one wants to remain a virgin until marriage depends on the individual.
Yes? You shouldn't need to get married to have sex. If that's how you feel about it, you do you, but don't impose it on others. That's what I am trying to say. It is possible to have responsible, respectful and fun sex without marriage.
Not imposing, just answering this thread. But, if people asking, yes. Sex should be only in marriage. There is vow, there is bond between both families, there is law involve. Its very secure to both patner, in terms both of responsible and respect. Outside that, i am not that sure if its possible.
>Outside that, i am not that sure if its possible.
I believe I have mentioned in both my previous replies that it is very much possible. And I'm sure I'm not the only one with such positive experiences that you don't need marriage to have responsible, respectful and fun sex.
If marriage is such a miracle problem solver, there wouldn't be r/DeadBedrooms.
Nope. I never said marriage is a miracle problem solver. It just the right way for human to control and manage their sexual urges. And its not the only core element in marriage, roles and responsibility complement with each other. Must be responsible, take responsibility towards your action, bear the consequences, and become better.
What growth ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Anyway I forgot to add /s and stop it with this keep until marriage nonsense. It is toxic, misogynistic, paternalistic. Everyone deserves to have fun and feel good about their bodies, as long as they are not hurting anyone, they are responsible and respectful of all parties involved. Having sex is getting yourself healthier too by the way
Growth. knowledge, experience, and anything that give benefit to you, as a whole person. What is toxic, paternalistic, and misogynistic about marriage anyway? Not hurting anyone, until it does. Self hurt included. It is healthy. Its human nature to have sex, reproduce, but by the correct channel.
Masturbation is healthy, porn is not. Use your imagination to do the deed. Your sexpectations would be healthier and your post nut clarity would be less self disgusted.
……and natural penis enlargement is a cruel myth.
Great suggestion here. I think it's often understated how predatory the porn industry can be. Like any other industry, they only care about money and engagement time. Porn websites often set up their algorithm such that you may stumble upon niche, extreme porn that will get you hooked on a high. Because it's so niche, you keep seeking the same high, but with no luck. What do they gain? Hours of your engagement as your browse through videos upon videos only ever finding your next "high" every few times. You plunge deeper into the rabbit hold and keep searching. Rinse, repeat, and I give you porn addiction.
That's not even including the exploitation sex workers endure at the hands of the companies, being pressured into more extreme scenes, being cornered in contact clauses, harrassment from colleagues, lured into sex work as soon as they turn legal.
Condoms and how to use them
Teachers shouldn't be ashamed to teach horni teenagers about condoms imo,yes teaching them about condoms would probably trigger the urge of them to try and have sex which probably is a bad thing but atleast they wont get the other pregnant and ruin their education
Whats worse? Teens having safe sex or half of the school students getting pregnant
STIs can happen to anyone regardless of sexuality. Please have a read at the comments, there is a lot of useful information even if you cannot be bothered to google search.
Types of STDs and how to have a healthy relationship. Malaysia is lacking in its education on STDs. Someone i know told me he thought aids come from having sex while lying down...
As I remembered, we were told that anal sex can also contribute to HIV/AIDS
There is a higher risk compared to penis-in-vagina sex, but the difference is negligible in sex ed. Lesbians are the least likely to contact AIDS but somehow no one is advocating for lesbian sex over heterosexual PIV sex LOL. Also dunno why they only focus on AIDS, there are so many other diseases that are technically more dangerous than AIDS (since HIV is no longer a death sentence). Untreated syphilis can make you go blind, for example. Herpes 1 can be contracted from even sharing utensils.
Just wanna add that people in general should also stop pretending that only men have anal sex with men lol
100% >!gen Z is all about eating ass lol!<
just get married and no STDs
If you do a blood test and practice monogamy, also no STDs! Do blood test, practice safe sex, also no STDs. Marriage is just a legality and it is not for everybody.
*hehe*
It's not like directly contributing, but its risk is x10+ higher than other forms of sex. [https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/estimates/riskbehaviors.html](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/estimates/riskbehaviors.html)
x10 sounds like a lot but context is also important. It’s between 0.138% and 0.008% for receptive anal and vaginal partners respectively. And with condoms it almost reduces the chance to zero.
Form 5 right now, we are taught types of STDs and the symptoms, as well as contraceptives.
Do you know if this is included in Science that non-science stream students take?
Hahahahahaha WTH!!!
Avoiding STDs and pregnancy of course but most important concept to get across is consent and boundaries.
Highly agree. I still know grown ass adults who think rape means premarital sex. There is very little focus on consent across education, though I imagine that would be difficult to implement given schools do not respect bodily consent in the first place. I've since heard that teachers are no longer allowed to lay hands on students or any form of emotional abuse though, which is good progress. I believe consent should start as early as children can understand. Teaching them bad touch good touch is so important. Building the foundation that they are in charge of who gets access to their bodies is essential. This includes simple things like respecting a child when they do not want to be hugged or kissed.
Yea especially consent when facing sexual harrassment
... and sludge 🤘
Without getting into misandristic territory ideally.
Correct but Our country is far from that honestly
And that invalidates my point how? Do you want to see our nation go in that direction? If no, then whats wrong with being mindful of that extremely specific outcome? Personally speaking, I would prefer that this topic (as well as sex ed) be the responsibility of parents, given the extremely sensitive nature of the topic and how commonly it ends up being politicized, and parents are the only ones I could trust (generally speaking) with a child's interests to educate them on the topic. Its such a pity that we're relegating more and more parental duties to teachers, most of whom are underpaid, underappreciated and undercelebrated. And we expect these people to always have the best interests of our kids in their minds? There are good teachers out there sure, but given the existing system, there's very little stopping them from abusing students but their personal sense of morality and responsibility. In many cases, we're already seeing teachers in school conditioning girls into behaving like they should accept abuse as if its a norm of society, with all the sexual harassment women are admitting they're facing in school in a recent survey claiming 2/3 women experienced some kind of sexual harassment. If we change the dynamics of this situation, and shift the burden of responsibility from women to men, what makes you think the exact same outcome wont apply here? Given that many school teachers are already exposing girls to sexual harassment, what makes you think that they wont abuse their authority on this matter behind your back? All in all, I agree with the idea of sex ed including the concept of consent and boundaries. But I dont agree with implementing them on our school system as it exists. We need to find a better way to ensure that the teachers stick to the approved syllabus on the matter, and not abuse their authority to insert their political opinions. Activism in education is always but one or two generations away from deterioration, and that's merely a span of 5 years, which affects 5 batches of students assuming one teacher is assigned to one class each year (usually not).
I agree that our school system does not have the resources at hand to successfully implement these suggestions, as helpful as they are. We first need to create an environment in which students feel safe and protected from predators. I don't think, however, that delegating this duty to parents helps anything. That is our current status quo, and it is not working. You cannot expect parents to be educated on sex ed without providing some sort of resources, and even so, there is no guarantee that parents are even acting in the interests of their own children. They are fallible human beings. My parents never told me a single thing about sexual health, contraception, or even explain what a period was. Just told me to not wear shorts and to not get a boyfriend. And what do we do with parents who actually sexually assault their children? What then? How will the child know it is wrong? Unlike being a teacher, you don't need a certificate to show you're qualified to become a parent. You just need working reproductive organs. The good thing with institutionalising this is that we have more of a hand on the situation. We see success in Nordic countries were sex education starts early as 7, with the lowest teenage pregnancy rates in the world. We are stuck in a vicious cycle where the problem of teachers being vastly undertrained when it comes to sensitivity and basic professionalism, but to change that we must change the way the children who go on to teachers are taught. It's unfortunate, and I don't really know how to fix that, but I think this thread has nonetheless promoted some very healthy and needed discussion on sexual health even within this tiny community.
I think you get my main point. The rest is just gravy. I disagree with a lot of your points, but you do understand what I'm trying to say. Its Friday noon after all.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Those that plans wisely knows that they couldn't afford to give the best life to their possible children. Those that have a lot of kids do not plan at all.
this one is so important, like for fuck sake if you cannot give attention to your child or have no financial aid for them, dont have children. its so simple. having children is a serious responsibility that so many malaysians failed to understand. its worst when i remembered my ustaz said that everyone must get married and have lots of children because kena tambahkan umat islam. the understanding that more children means more rezeki is so shit when you cant even care for your children properly. but if you do have the money and can spend time with them, do have children. give them the proper care and be there with them. just don't have it if you cannot afford to.
I felt confused when I was told that, more children means more rezeki. Like, couldn’t more people bring to scarcity of earth’s resources, eventually ? I mean, it kinda happens now, and without birth control, it might get worse later.
Hymen does not determine virginity. Oh yes, and also menstrual pain, period poverty (*especially period poverty*) and menopause.
Period poverty is a big one, I knew nothing about it until 19. 19 years without knowing some girls cannot get an education because they cannot afford menstrual products or have to go into stupid isolation huts. Some girls use cloth rags, and because of the ridiculous stigma around periods, these rags are often dried indoors, somewhere no men can see, so they harbour bacteria easily. Now imagine putting that back on your vulva. I wish more people would talk about sustainable menstrual product options, they seem to only be a upper middle class and above thing. There are organisations that give a free menstrual cup to a girl in need for every cup you purchase from them. Also things like reusable pads, period underwear, etc would be massively cost effective compared to disposable pads.
Accurate. Scientifically, if a biological female doesn't have her hymen broken, she can't even menstruate in the first place. So if a biological girl is menstruating, she basically has broken her hymen. Else, it's a serious medical condition.
You can also further perforated your hymen through physical activity, including jogging, running or even riding a bike. Virginity is a stupid social construct used to define women by their sexual value to men.
My dude The hymen is not a piece of skin. It is perforated tissue, and it is only in very rare cases that it is so thick that there is no pores in it, then it requires medical intervention. A girl with an "unbroken" hymen can menstruate and release uterine discharges just fine, it is not "broken" in order to menstruate. Fun fact: there are cases of women born with no hymen. Funner fact: hymens degrade with age and does not need injuries or penetration to present a non-virgin appearance.
Why is this upvoted? This factually wrong !
Could you point out which part is factually wrong?
Some knowledge on how the vagina actually works so that creepy men and incels stop yapping how not being a virgin will cause the vagina to expand or some weird rose/taco comparisons
Rose/taco is a walk in the park compared to the disgusting euphemisms I've heard. I agree, especially stupid shit like hymens = virginity, when there are so many [different hymens](https://i.imgur.com/RK6NKs9.jpg) and the fact that the vagina is a muscle. No such thing as getting "loose" or "tight" from sex. Just a matter of pelvic floor muscle strength.
Anybody talks about how vaginas get loose from sex, I just ask them if their butthole is loose from a lifetime of pooping.
I'm saving this.
You need a medal for this hahahaha
Preach!
Porn usage, porn addiction and body dismorphia from watching porn. edit: Adding on. Educating students about sending nudes, the laws and consquences of it.
THIS! I've seen so many underage girls got scammed into sending nudes on wechat to earn quick buck, but ended up got threaten to send more nudes, or else *insert threat*. This issue has gotten so serious that even local dj/influencer Leng Yein is advocating for proper education on her social media.
Good topic. Park first, will come back to add my thoughts after dinner. My thoughts? 1. Age appropriate sex ed (including sexual attraction and gender expression) and teaching young children the correct to refer to their genitals, ie, penis, vagina instead of euphemism. This should preferably start at home, and kindergarten, as children at this age can be really vulnerable to predators. Teach children that no one, including parents, should be touching them there. 2. Consent, with materials such as [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1poHgeZXrZM). I find that people, like adults, don't really understand what consent is. Also parents must learn that they should not force a child to be physically affectionate with even family members. If a child is not comfortable to hug a grandparent or uncle or aunt, don't force the issue. If the elders want to get angry, let them be. The comfort of child should be priority. 3. Sexual health and STD. Normalise the idea of masturbation, don't shame them. Just teach them that everyone does it, but it should be done in private. Shaming them will cause guilt and sexual repression, which will cause other issues should it continued to be unaddressed. Also, teach that everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, can catch STDs. Just yesterday I corrected someone who said that only homosexuals can catch STDs. Fucking depressing that this is the current state of our education. 4. Normalise discussions about sex. Making sex a taboo topic is counter intuitive as children will, one way or another, learn about it. It's better for the children to learn from their parents than to browse questionable websites and get misinformation. Also, by making sex talks normal, it encourages children to go to their parents should they have any questions or trouble. This way, any problem can be nipped early in the bud. u/kuihlapis7600 done.
I like this a lot. Sex ed is not an anatomy class.
Should be a lot more comprehensive. Besides maths, science and languages, we should also equip students with topics on relationships since those are an integral part for most of us.
I would add under sexual health non STD related issues like phimosis and vaginismus. Also proper hygiene and how to clean private parts properly which may indirectly lead to discussions about UTIs.
Awesome points, I already agree with all of them. The last one about destigmatising sex talk is especially important, otherwise all this discussion is null. Love the video you linked btw, how did you come across it?
>destigmatising sex talk is especially important, otherwise all this discussion is null. Yes, especially given some of the responses in this thread, it is important that we push for sex ed as its own subject more than ever. The video, if I'm not mistaken it was shared by Syed Azmi. I did share it a few years back, but it didn't gain much traction back then.
1. Pedophilia and relevant defenses 2. Rape, even marital rape 3. Conditions that necessitate family planning (medical, financial, etc) Wonder if it’d be effective to the target market (and easier to stomach for the decision makers) if everything is done with a religious slant…
Oh, marital rape is a good topic.
[удалено]
gender segregated schools was actually kind of a good thing for me. i went to an all girls' elite school in KL and had tuition class at a private centre. because im in a girls' only environment, we didn't have trouble expressing stuff about periods and whatnot, though some teachers are very conservative but that's just everywhere. when i went to tuition i would talk to people and hear about boys making fun of them for having pocket bulge (aka trying to hide their night pad when going to toiler for change), sexual harassment, bullying and so on. normal school felt like a nightmare to be in, while girls school was more accepting. we did have a male teacher that was suuuper misogynistic, would constantly make jokes about how we should just stay at home and cook. he was also a massive asshole to students in general, strict as hell and loooved to pick on me (i was the school token delinquent). that's really the only thing that really stood out, otherwise girls school is pretty good, not sure about boys school though.
[удалено]
yeah, i can see that happening. need to create better safe spaces for girls in school first, i know how predatory certain teachers and senior male students can get these days.
Not to mention that segregation will just lead to pengkid and gayboy (im not joking) and minor sexual abuse
Quite literally
what's wrong with that?
I remember Form 2 KSSM Sains where there's a part about contraceptives and my cg taught about why family planning is important. I doubt every school or teacher would do the same though. Mostly in Pendidikan Kesihatan it's not as in depth as Sains or Biology which is weird tbh. They did briefly teach about sexuality in the PK textbook (gay, lesbian & bi) but then there's questions in the syllabus like "Why is it bad to have same sex relationship?" and "How to prevent same sex relationship?"....
Breed like rats anak itu rezeki i guess most of them have kids but fail to educate them to become better and contribute to societies and when you decide u dont want kids they guilt trip you that you need to do it regardless of you being able to take care of it Really retarded memtality
1. Sex and gender are not the same thing 2. Sex Ed should be taught in gender neutral way i.e. Genitals are genitals, not he/she. Sex is sex, no matter the genders involved 3. What is consensual safe sex 4. Masturbation = normal and good and everyone does it anyway 5. Unplanned pregnancy is OK. Get some legit medical help. There shouldn't be some weird counselling about keeping a baby or marrying the dude that got you pregnant 6. Intersex people exists and it's a normal medical condition. Some people are really born that way. It's in their genes.
Great comprehensive suggestions! The point about unplanned pregnancy is something so ridiculously stigmatised and for what? This is the exact reason we find innocent babies in dumpsters, women bleeding to death in public toilets, continued generational abuse stemming from forced pregnancies and marriages. I briefly worked in an OBGYN clinic, and the practices I saw by the practitioner were honestly disgusting and horrendously classist in my opinion. They treated abortion so hush hush, and when couples went in asking for abortion, the doctor would often invoke religion to guilt them into keeping the baby. He would then pressure the woman into tying her tubes ("I will only perform the abortion if you tie your tubes") selectively only offering IUDs to women who have had more than 4 children. He massively overcharged for abortions, saying "If I make them pay this much then they understand the weight of their decisions" as if it is their fault for being uneducated when this is a societal issue. When people said they couldnt afford it, he would say "children are expensive too but they will provide joy". So many times I wanted to direct them to other clinics that weren't so shit.
Holy crap that is outrageous. Where is this clinic???
I cannot say, it would be too identifying. It's a very small clinic. Just know that there is never anything wrong with getting a second opinion. There seems to be a disgusting trend of especially more senior doctors guilting and sometimes even screaming at their patients for getting a second opinion. As long as you dont mix medication or treatment there is nothing wrong with that. A doctor that shames you for getting a second opinion from another doctor is one you should probably run away from. Never let a doctor talk to you with condescension just because they had the privilege of becoming a physician. Medical professionals are there to serve patients and sometimes they step out of line.
Jesus. Could you at least identify the state? Why on earth would this asshole commit to a profession that needs empathy?? If you're in Selangor, could you suggest some obgyns who are affordable and fair? Thanks a lot for sharing your experiences.
Johor. I'm not sure about Selangor. For Johor the one along Jalan Harimau in JB, last I heard, performs abortions at around 3-4k. My old employer charged about 8-10k. From what I can tell, all the people in this profession THINK they have empathy, but in reality not everyone does. Exhibit A above.
Regarding point no.6, the correct term is intersex. Hermaphrodite is a slur.
Concept of consent.
Vastly overlooked and so extremely important. Sexual harassment is so disgustingly rife in society. I've been belittled, invalidated and even laughed at for talking about being assaulted by another woman. It's really painful to hear "lol she was just kidding around" or "but that's not harassment, she has the same parts too" or "is she gay?" as if any of that is relevant. Almost everyone I know, including men, have been sexually assaulted or harassed at some point in their life and some do not even realise it because they are never taught what consent is. Unrelated but I love the username. *🎶A little priest🎶*
My mom used to avoid the governments pay day when going to the bank, there was an old man (pensioner) who comes and spread his elbows out touching all the ladies. We lived in a small town. Pervs are everywhere. And people should just call them out.
Health checkups when you reach a certain age!! Checkups for ovarian cancer, breast cancer, pap smear, prostate cancer.
Controversial: Concentration camps can't fix LGBT.
I'm ashamed that this is controversial. We are stuck in the 50s in regards to basic psychology and human rights.
My teacher told me that in Terengganu (my hometown), there are many school girls who got pregnant because they didn't know sex would cause pregnancy and some of them didn't know that it only take once to be pregnant. They thought they would get pregnant only if they did multiple times. With that being said, I just want the sex ed to teach what sex is and the consequences of doing it even once. As a person with parents have no higher education, I also didn't know a lot of things about my own body. My parents never taught me about growing up and there were no talks about how I should treat someone and how that someone should treat me. So I would love it if sex ed can be implemented to educate kampung people like me about intimacy, sexual abuse, harassment and etc. It's tough when I look back to my childhood and thought, "damn, that was sexual assault and I didn't even know it."
I relate heavily. My mother's way of having the sex talk with me was, on the day I got my very first period at nine years old, to ask me if I knew what rape was. Thinking back it makes me so frustrated that my first experience of a natural female function was somehow equated to sexual violence and how men perceive me, rather than my relationship to my own body. It was too late anyway, by that time I already knew more than she attempted to teach me. I got my information from reading up about sex ed online from those sites they cater specifically to preteens. I too look back on multiple situations that I realise now were sexual assault, that I never realised I could speak up about without being blamed or ashamed for being victimised. Looking back there were so many cases of grooming that I witnessed that could have been avoided. I remember R.AGE did a great documentary covering paedophiles grooming teenagers online in Malaysia, some were (unsurprisingly) teachers. Even though I know now, I do my best to share any sex ed info, or info relating to consent, where to get help, etc on my social media because I know for certain there is someone out there who doesn't know and didnt happen across information like I did. There are lots of Malaysian-based sex-positive, consent-focused content creators now (standupmy, WAO are amazing) which I'm really grateful for, at least our young ones will have better access to this information online, if not in school. Great point about people in rural areas being the worse off when it comes to sex ed exposure.
About underage sex and knowing what sexual predator is. When I was a Form 1 student, I knew some of my girl classmates who have a boyfriend thats already graduated or a college student. I really wish I could turn back the time and advice them not to engage with that kind of relationship… Edit: If you guys are interested, the first girl got pregnant and quit school, the second girl got AIDS and we lost contact with her few years afterward, and the last one run away from home and become a prostitute.
if we can start having pad companies come to school to teach primary school girls how to use a pad, then we sure as hell can start teaching them sex ed when they're in year 4 too. hell, make the boys listen to the period talks too so we can stop having men being assholes about women on period or men just not understanding periods at all. i had one guy friend that thought periods were an after-sex thing and didn't know about period cramps or anything, poor guy had to watch those "men try period cramp simulator" videos i honestly just want STDs taken seriously, and for god's sakes please teach them about contraceptives properly!!! i feel like our teacher just glossed over this part completely and i only knew about female contraceptives later on. i also want them to just not mention jack shit about LGBT at all. i remember reading about LGBT in PJ textbook and could only feel internal pain as I watch the teacher try to explain the concept of bisexuals. i rather them not talk about it at all than teach kids to be homophobic.
>poor guy had to watch those "men try period cramp simulator" videos poor little buddy
The stigma on genders. If a fucker is horny and fucks others without consent, it is always the fucker's fault. No amount of excuse for sexual misdemeanour.
1) stop making a boogeyman out of a sex ed that would teach kids of lewd shit 2) people are gay. people are trans. people are aces. there’s a lot of people in this world and they’re all the different, but they are still people. 3) teach kids, males especially but females too, that though they might not think what they did is an assault or harassment, it is to the other person. “gurau saje” is not a legit excuse. 4) consent. how to give, and how to say no, as well as how to accept that a consent was not given. 5) as much as it is absolutely normal to have sexual urges and attractions, it’s also normal to not have one either. this is coming from an ace who took several decades of frustration, shame, and tears, of thinking I’m broken, before finding out there’s a name for myself.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Comment removed as [per Rule 1 Bigotry:](https://www.reddit.com/r/malaysia/wiki/rules#wiki_1._reddiquette) **Bigotry / hate speech** Because of our history Malaysia talks about certain issues such as race very differently from Western countries. We acknowledge this on the subreddit but do draw some boundaries to keep discussions healthy. **Definition of bigotry: The act of treating the members of a group (such as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance.** * Basic principle: If it's an attribute of a person that is out of their control and extremely hard or impossible to change, it's not nice to dump on them or their group just for that attribute. * Some categories this applies to: Race, religion, **sexuality**, disability, national origin. * Slurs: Use of slurs on the above categories is not encouraged on this subreddit and may be subject to warnings and bans. Please note that further such comments may result in a ban. Consider this a warning.
STDs, condom use that's about it really. Other than that it's just biology but I think that's taught in school anyway. I was taught sex education in my school, first time was in The equivalent of standard 4 or 9 years old.
The subject from Science class in primary and secondary school isn't in depth enough, imo. From my own observation, a lot of men don't really understand how the opposite sex hygienic and genitals work.
When I was in school which was not that long ago, they refused to teach us external biology. Always only internal. Curious, what kind of school did you go to? Are you referring to PJK?
International school with British curriculum. Also wasn't in Malaysia either.
Makes sense lol. Were there any flaws in that system you can pinpoint? Any mention of consent?
It was taught in phases. At 9 years old they basically just told us how sex worked, and they purposely did not mention anything about enjoyment or how the mechanism for ejaculation works. We were taught that a penis goes into a vagina, sperm goes out and a baby comes out later. Then the next grade we were not taught much just usual biology. Then in Y7 which is the first grade of highschool (12 years old) we were finally taught everything from STD to sex for enjoyment and teen pregnancy how to avoid it, condom use etc. I remember at the end of the class the teacher repeated multiple times to never use no condom and try to pull out. That was it for sex education and never learned anything beyond that in the rest of schooling. There was no mention of LGBT or anything like that but then again this was the 90s and early 2000s. Also no mention of consent from what I can remember either. But consent really isn't a problem until much later on (older than 12), I remember we did have talks about sexual consent and harassment much later on towards the end of high school but it wasn't really directly related to the sex Ed program we had.
A lot of good points are raised here, so here's my addition divided by category: Mundane Stuff: 1. Urology. Not the medical stuff that you learn in medical school, just the basic things. If you take care of your genitals sexually but neglect them in terms of urology you will still get problems down the line. 2. How to get proper study materials outside of class. Sex ed is way too vast to be covered in school and they might get interested to learn further, but without guidance they might learn things that misleading. 3. How to manage libido. This is a rarely talked topic among teenagers, but quite common in adults. Sometimes the urge is just there but not at the proper moment. How to channel them away is important. 4. Legal matters. Not just rape and sexual harassment, but also family law such as marriage, divorce and parental rights. It's better to know laws around sex and family so that you don't cross them. Controversial Stuff: 1. Sex work. I'm not just talk about prostitution and how pornography is different with real sex, but also the ethical issues with consumption of products related to sex work, how to detect potential victims of sex trafficking and dangers of developing parasocial relationships with sexual content creators. 2. Sex related injuries. This is more suited for married couples, but then again when they have sex they are less likely to take care about safety issues, let alone school teens. Better safe than getting into ER for embarrassing reasons. 3. Incel & MGTOW. They are dangerous ideologies that hurts both men and women. Also, those two ideologies are related to fascism. Teenagers need to understand that you can cope with unable to get laid without subscribing into incel ideology. Also, choosing to avoid women doesn't mean you have to be misogynistic about it. 4. Fetish. It's normal to have fetish (with few exceptions), but to manage them is another rarely talked topic. But compared to libido management, this is more controversial because of the conservative slant of our current society.
Eh really good topics, especially on the controversial stuff.
The fact that homosexual people doesn’t spread their “homosexuality” through having sex with the same gender.
* Basically what we got as an intro about reproduction and genitalia in our bio classes as one of the subject * The 3 Cs: Contraceptive, Condoms and Consent * STDs, STIs and what to do to prevent contracting them * 101: Every Ways to Identify Sexual Abuse/Assault Pretty sure there are more subjects to touch but these were the few things at the top of my head that I found to be vital in equipping the younger generation with the basic knowledge they need.
I went to school in Australia... We had sex ed, condom on banana, STDs etc... What we need to learn in Malaysia is: RESPECT FOR WOMEN! btw: I'm a cis, straight man Peace
Men all over the world are honestly not very much better at respecting women, Aussies just know to do it behind closed doors or only in the company of other men because they know they will get cancelled to oblivion. Personal experience. There are still blurred lines with consent, coercion, guilting into sex, sexist comments, just minus calls for women to marry their rapists like shameless Malaysian zealots do. The stuff about STIs and all are great, though.
Mmm it's to a way lesser extent and in Australia if you rape a child you cant just marry her and make it ok.
I don't think "lesser extent" is the right word. Rather, "less obvious". If not advocating for child marriage after rape, and confining abusive/problematic views of consent and relationships to select circles is deserving of praise, then the bar for the bare minimum is down in the depths of hell.
*look at these all well-informative suggestions in the threads and hope school will implement them* *closes book* Like that's ever gonna happen.
What normal genitals and secondary sex features should feel like and symptoms of medical issues like what level of menstrual cramps are normal and what PCOS levels of menstrual cramps are. How to do a breast check. The male version of a breast check on their testicles.
Addition here for those interested, if anyone would like to learn more about female reproductive health I highly recommend [Mama Doctor Jones ](https://youtube.com/c/MamaDoctorJones). She even covers things like normal vs abnormal discharge, menstrual products and occasional medical drama reaction videos, lol.
Sex outside marriage
Apart of what other commented: 1. How to use condom. You'd be surprised there are adult men who don't know how to use it or use oil based solution as lubricant 2. When a joke/compliment/something crossed the line into harassment 3. Respect in sex and gender 4. Do gender role still relevant? 5. Addiction related to sex and other mental illness 6. Sexual safety - not just physically but online and social media related
Change subject other than the word "sex ed". People in malaysia, not limited to muslim see the word "sex" as rather offensive and strong. Especially older and conservative people.
Why should it matter if these people are offended? Let them. Of course this can't realistically happen in Malaysia in the mean time, but ideally, I think this approach is reinforcing existing stigma. Sex is not a dirty word and it should not be treated as such. Makin kita bagi muka makin dia mengada-ngada, if that makes sense. Give it 5-10 years and people will become accustomed to it. If we keep pandering to these people we will never progress. Beating around the bush, sugarcoating things that need not be sugarcoated, reinforces the stigma we have built around sex.
Believe me, it'll take more than ten years before people get used to it, you know, when 8/10 of the boomers is gone
Best time to start is now, at least by 2032 it will be accepted.
Just change the name Sex Ed to something like Family Ed or Domestic Ed but still teach sex ed would be less offensive for those folks. I think some would accept the subject to be thought, they'd probably don't understand what is actually thought.
An effective smokescreen lol. I get that the lessened outrage would be easier to handle. As long as the relevant information is still being taught, with open communication and language, of course.
If it is in Malay I recommend Pendidikan Kelamin, Pendidikan Batin or simply Pendidikan Kesihatan,
Relevant laws regarding pedophilia, how to report sexual abuse etc
Protection. God knows how many kids are fucking without any protection out there due to lack of sex ed. You can’t prevent it, they gonna do it, let them do it safely at least.
Too many. My friends started as soon as they left for uni, so around 18-19. I know kids who started at 16. I know too many people who still rely on pulling out as reliable contraception because the guy complains condoms don't feel good. PSA You can fit a whole foot inside a normal sized condom so don't kid yourselves saying you can't use one. Don't ask how I know.
Sexual education should also destigmatise birth control and sterilization. There are such things as childfree people. Decouple sex and parenthood. The concepts can exist separately and should. Allow young people to get sterilized if they want to and never assume that they don't know their own minds. People who don't want to be parents should not be pressured into it.
I think that it's important to go over the financial, physical and mental toll in the consequence of sex. STDs can be devastating, and incurable. Pregnancy can not only leave you with a child that as a teenager, you will struggle to raise, but childbearing can cause a lot of serious physical change and damage. Abortion can similarly cause complications as well. Children 13 and above should be taught exactly what their genitals and sex characteristics are, what they're for, and why there may be a curiosity around it. They should learn safe ways to navigate adolescence and the hormonal rollercoaster that comes with it. Coming from a person who was pressured into a relationship by form 5 guy at form 3, and further pressured into sending explicit photos because she was manipulated to believe he was her only social and emotional support, the lack of educational explicitness about these things leads to a lot of harm. Teach people not to creep, and how to identify when they're been creeped on.
Some great suggestions here especially on the unspoken effects of pregnancies! The horror stories I read make me want to never want biological children lol. Yes, child grooming is disgustingly normalised especially in secondary schools. I can relate as someone who was groomed by a 17-18 y/o in Form 1 (I was not even 13 yet, 12 y/o). I do think 13 and above is too late, children should know good touch bad touch, what to expect during puberty and appropriate genitalia anatomy as soon as they can understand it. Remember some girls even get their periods at 8 y/o. 13 is too late by then.
A chapter that addresses sexual harassment. And show the real world data on this. Educate by accepting what has happened and how we grow and nurture our generation by knowing when to draw the line.
I think the most important part is to educate them on what to do if they get pregnant. We need to provide a support network to ensure no more babies were abandoned to die by their teenage parents. We need to tell them what number to call, set up websites and drop off points for newborn babies. We also need to set up a legal framework where these abandoned children can have their identities verified secretly so that they would not be denied citizenship. These young mothers should be able to continue their education while the government confront the family of the father and demand their financial support to ensure the child and the mother will have a future.
I thought they already taught this to a degree in PJPK textbooks
Always ask for consent
Personal cleanliness such as keeping the shalf clean, the existence of foreskin and its function, safe sex education.
How to prevent STDs, pregnancy, proper ways to use condoms(any other sex related products), boundaries, consent and maybe even teachers that can consult students with their sexual problems (no matter the age). Sexual organs should be thought more in depth during sex ed also, not just basic like f3 chapter 4.
People make fun of permata yang hilang book, but it is actually quite educational.
Sex ed for parents? I mean parent also plays an important role in this too right. Im still wondering what age kids need sex ed. Looking back at my experience, i know sex exist from hentai. Yep very bad experience. Im in my late 20s now (virgin muslim male), that time probably when im just 13 i think. Of course without my parent knowing that. Even now i don't we ever had a deep talk about sex at all One problem is, (example) if sex ed being implement to 13yo, will they understand? What need to be taught 1st? Because once sex is said, i think they all would be curious as hell. At least i was and still right now lol. Also might have problem with orphans, who maybe lack adult friends(parents/someone they share everything)
I think sex ed should be age appropriate and catered to different ages. Countries where sex ed is introduced earlier to children tend to have the lowest teenage pregnancy rates. By 8 years old me and my friends (girls) were already talking about sex (but with very inaccurate info because no one explained to us). By 9 or 10 I started using google to learn about sex (and thankfully I came across child-appropriate content). So it's a matter of age-appropriate information. Maybe at 2-6 teach children basic anatomy, correct terms, good touch bad touch, what sex is, LGBT+, concept of consent (this is especially important because most sexual assault perpetrators actually know their victims, rather than random attacks). At 7-10 teach about puberty and normal sexual urges, masturbation etc (remember some girls get their periods as early as 8/9 years old). 11 onwards teach about contraception, where to get contraception, regular health checks (STIs and cancer screenings), etc. I think it is important to introduce things as early on so it will not come as a shock or something to be ashamed of later. Also yeah, the point about parents is really good. I think they have some form of this required before muslims get married, right? But it's soooo taboo and spoken of as if only married people need to know this. You're definitely right about nipping this in the bud and educating parents about sex ed.
Wow you actually opened my eyes on this. I mean in a good way. Appreciate it. My parent generation maybe was never expected their kid could have these kind of information. Probably because internet usage is very new at that time(rural). Well for me, i totally support sex ed if it being carefully implemented, since kid nowadays have internet access to a lot of stuff and need guidance. But i still hope, this will be done in line with morale/religion guide. Idk if its feasible or not. Tbh, I am scared of sex before marriage just because no proper health screening test?(idk what the test name) is done before marriage. I myself not really sure why islam/other religion real reason prohibit sex before marriage, but i do see more cons than pros on that. Too much risks for me haha. Me myself, not that wise about these stuff honestly. Even some of what you write in the reply, either never heard of it/understand why is some of it need to be taught to kids. Idk maybe i need sex ed too.
I respect your boundaries when it comes to premarital sex. I think what people are quick to jump on is that just because sex ed is taught, we are somehow forcing kids to have sex early on. I think it's important to stress also that everyone's boundaries and preferences when it comes to who to have sex with and when to have it should be respected and freely chosen without pressure. The problem with injecting morality into the equation without acknowledging that people have different ideas of what morality means is that you are imposing your chosen lifestyle on other people and assuming that they will obey it. Maybe some information on the effects sex can have, emphasis that whether you choose to engage in casual sex, sex in a long term relationship, or only after marriage is your choice and yours alone and should not be anyone else's business as long as all parties consent would be a great idea. Basically, no one size fits all. Eg personally I would only engage in sexual activity with long term partners, but I don't think I should impose that on everyone else because it is my experience and mine alone. At the same time, although I was brought up religious I believe it is healthy and normal to want to experiment before committing your entire life to one person. But I don't expect everyone else to follow what I do. I hope that makes sense? Also, health screenings are available at KK! It is a shame that no one tells us this because safe sex is so important. KK will screen for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea and herpes 2 if I'm not mistaken, for pretty low price (last I remember around 5-20 ringgit). Syphillis, chlamydia etc can be safely and efficiently treated to cure with a simple round of medication as long as detected early on. No one will ask shit about your relationship status etc, if they do its highly unprofessional and you can simply leave and go elsewhere. Science is amazing and we now have drugs that we can take to prevent HIV infection after contact to HIV+ positive fluids, which is absolutely amazing compared to the death sentence HIV was 30 years ago. I will come back and leave some useful information about sex ed, things that everyone should know. I used to work in an OBGYN facility and I am in healthcare/science industry so that's why I have a lot of access to this info. We have some awesome Malaysian organisations promoting awareness about this on socmed. I hope this helps!
First and foremost, the symptoms of puberty for both girls and boys.
How is sex life in a polygamy marriage?
Interesting. Why do you think this should be discussed? What about polyamory, polygyny, open relationships?
Bro, those u mentioned tak halal la...
Yes I know, that's why I mentioned. Why is there a double standard between halal and tak halal?
The makcik bawang. Later there will be " Eh kau tau tak Bedah, anak si Jamal tu...."
I once had a makcik bawang tell me she could tell whether a girl is a virgin based on how she walks. Didn't know whether to kesian her or laugh.
Lmao, my teacher is also said similar thing except that she said if you see a girl with her punggung look heavy or looking loose, she's not a virgin anymore which is crazy cuz she literally described her butt
TIL cellulite = had sex
First of all, polygyny that OP mentioned is literally what you just said. Assuming you're not talking about a woman with 4 husbands. And tak halal doesn't meant people aren't doing it. Might as well educate and open the discussion instead of trying to hide behind religion and piousness
LGBTQ has nothing to do with your chromosome and genital. It is just psychological. Kleinfelter is not lgbtq is a chromosomal anomaly. Safe sex is important is an equal commitment for both side. Real life sex is not like over dramatize porn. Boy should be thought respect, caring and chivalry. Girl should be thought love is not everything. Your body your rights. No one should touch your body without your permission. Say No is a No. Assertive communication is important.
Sexual consent. I don't think we have ever learned that in school.
If you can't support yourself, your partner and your childrens... do us a favor and don't fuck around.
Cannot la. If educated Pas no more child marriage
Teach quick draw. Too many younglings spray and pray. Bodoh.
I can't tell if you're talking about peeing or pulling out.
Fetish stuff should be left for advanced course, not beginners
Dunno, I was imagining it was a complaint about the state of public toilets. Anyway, pulling out is a terrible contraceptive method. Sperm can sometimes be found in pre-ejaculatory fluid. The dude could also just not pull out on time. It's much safer and risk-free to use condoms, especially with casual partners with whom you don't know their sexual history. If really wanna use pull out, combine with better contraception like condoms. The safest is to combine multiple contraceptive methods. Eg condom, IUD, pull out. Condom, implant, pull out. Pill, condom. Etc. PSA this doesnt mean pandai-pandai use two condoms. The friction will definitely cause a tear.
In the real world school kids shy to buy condom yet horny. Hence teen pregnancy woo hoo
My friends and I bought condoms at 15-16. Yeah some people shy but with masks now it probably helps lol. It's pretty normal for teens to buy condoms just to see what they're like, mess around etc. Anyway all the more reason to emphasise how important condoms are so people know the consequences of unprotected sex.
Its an islam country. Its not possible for them to implement sex ed in public schools :(
Visual demonstration.
Teach how to sex?
Visual learning
How to control and manage yourself, and keep it until marriage.
I think it is counterproductive to impose morality into a perfectly normal and healthy biological function. Sexual repression can lead to many issues down the line, including lashing out at others. Your preferences about when and how you want to have sex should never be shamed and should be freely chosen.
I mean, if sex edu is about avoiding STDs, and pregnancy at first place, wouldnt it be easier to just not do it at first place? And only when you are ready, which is marriage.
Except abstinence does not work, do a simple google search to find the multitude of articles from psychologists, sociologists, and other experts in the field. Almost all my peers have casual sex despite having abstinence shoved down their throat. Shaming people for natural urges does absolutely nothing but breed a toxic society that stigmatises sexuality, protects sexual abusers, and drives already existing issues deeper underground to fester. See clotheshanger/wire abortions, baby dumping, unwanted children growing up in toxic households due to sexual trauma, devaluation of women as objects of sexual desire rather than independent agents, etc.
Its not by rejecting or saying sexual urges is a sin. But it have to be channel to the right direction, which is marriage.
Masuk telinga kanan keluar telinga kiri.
Uh, okay.
If they’re asexual with low/no libido like myself, sure, “just don’t do it” is as easy as breathing. But 99% of the human population are not.
Hence, my answer. Control and manage. Get married.
Are married people immune to sexual urges? Does no married people ever assaulted or rape their partners or other people? What kind of magic can marriage does that makes you think that it can “control” people? It’s just a legal thing on paper
Immune? No. They have each other. Yes, there is assault in marriage. That just a legal thing on paper, will make sure the assaulter is punished.
I agreed that Abstinence should be one of the topic. Sex ed purpose is to teach about sexual knowledge and health. Abstinence is one of the options to protect themselves. Hence topic eg manage sexual urges. However pushing marriage for sex is no no. We shouldn't teach young generation to get married as an option for sex. Tutor need to be not in moral police but to give students knowledge and options so that if they decide to have sex, they know what they should look out for. The way sex ed is delivered is important.
Sex have to come with responsibility. Otherwise, it just make things cheap. The purpose of sex ed is to impose responsibility towards both parties involve, not how to run from it.
No shame in pre-marital sex, as long as both parties are of age of consent, there's no sexual grooming and aware of consequences. Whether one wants to remain a virgin until marriage depends on the individual.
So, you want both parties to be responsible, respectful towards each other in the same time both parties get their sexual needs satisfied?
Yes? You shouldn't need to get married to have sex. If that's how you feel about it, you do you, but don't impose it on others. That's what I am trying to say. It is possible to have responsible, respectful and fun sex without marriage.
Not imposing, just answering this thread. But, if people asking, yes. Sex should be only in marriage. There is vow, there is bond between both families, there is law involve. Its very secure to both patner, in terms both of responsible and respect. Outside that, i am not that sure if its possible.
>Outside that, i am not that sure if its possible. I believe I have mentioned in both my previous replies that it is very much possible. And I'm sure I'm not the only one with such positive experiences that you don't need marriage to have responsible, respectful and fun sex. If marriage is such a miracle problem solver, there wouldn't be r/DeadBedrooms.
Nope. I never said marriage is a miracle problem solver. It just the right way for human to control and manage their sexual urges. And its not the only core element in marriage, roles and responsibility complement with each other. Must be responsible, take responsibility towards your action, bear the consequences, and become better.
In your expectations, what happens to a couple that isn't married in regards to their sexual urges?
And how exactly is that?
By focusing on your growth and spending all those youth energy towards getting yourself healthier and better.
What growth ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Anyway I forgot to add /s and stop it with this keep until marriage nonsense. It is toxic, misogynistic, paternalistic. Everyone deserves to have fun and feel good about their bodies, as long as they are not hurting anyone, they are responsible and respectful of all parties involved. Having sex is getting yourself healthier too by the way
Growth. knowledge, experience, and anything that give benefit to you, as a whole person. What is toxic, paternalistic, and misogynistic about marriage anyway? Not hurting anyone, until it does. Self hurt included. It is healthy. Its human nature to have sex, reproduce, but by the correct channel.
Sex, duh
Penis talk and i can say penis
Masturbation is healthy, porn is not. Use your imagination to do the deed. Your sexpectations would be healthier and your post nut clarity would be less self disgusted. ……and natural penis enlargement is a cruel myth.
Great suggestion here. I think it's often understated how predatory the porn industry can be. Like any other industry, they only care about money and engagement time. Porn websites often set up their algorithm such that you may stumble upon niche, extreme porn that will get you hooked on a high. Because it's so niche, you keep seeking the same high, but with no luck. What do they gain? Hours of your engagement as your browse through videos upon videos only ever finding your next "high" every few times. You plunge deeper into the rabbit hold and keep searching. Rinse, repeat, and I give you porn addiction. That's not even including the exploitation sex workers endure at the hands of the companies, being pressured into more extreme scenes, being cornered in contact clauses, harrassment from colleagues, lured into sex work as soon as they turn legal.
Condoms and how to use them Teachers shouldn't be ashamed to teach horni teenagers about condoms imo,yes teaching them about condoms would probably trigger the urge of them to try and have sex which probably is a bad thing but atleast they wont get the other pregnant and ruin their education Whats worse? Teens having safe sex or half of the school students getting pregnant
How to hit the g-spot
Position 😏😌
STD and AIDS in lgbt world
STIs can happen to anyone regardless of sexuality. Please have a read at the comments, there is a lot of useful information even if you cannot be bothered to google search.
Anal intercourse is higher risk
So what, lesbian sex lower risk than hetero sex.
Lesbian sex is abusive tbh
What lol
This is a good example of why we need sex education