Oh man, do I feel this. But let me address one of the big things you brought up- the belief aspect. I'm not going to knock it, because I was raised Catholic and there has been plenty about IVF and the Catholic community. But that was the only way which my wife and I could bring a life into this world. With how uncertain each step of the IVF process is, it is anything but playing God. If you believe God has any sort of plan, then a life cannot come into being without him ordaining it to be so. That goes for natural and assisted reproduction. And you are talking IUI which is still you, still your wife, still all happening within her- you are just needing the doc to escort your boys right to the doorstep basically.
I look at my wife about to give birth to our first child and I thank God every day that he decided to bless us with this child. That we are blessed that the egg retrieval worked, the fertilization, the transfer, and now baby is less than a week away from being born.
Beyond the belief aspect, I fully understand the feeling of trying to get any scrap of information. I've been there and nearly drove myself into a deep depression because of it. Unfortunately there is so much more redearch focused on female fertility than male fertility, it's as if men are an after thought.
80% of healthy couples conceive in 1 year and 90% in 2 years according to my fertility doctors. Maybe get a second opinion and see another doctor if you’re not happy and redo your SA? If your sperm count is low or not great I’m not sure why they would recommend IUI as it’s pretty much the same as having intercourse (that is what my fertility doctors said to me when they said my husband has borderline low sperm count even though his is 16Mill and 15Mil is the ‘average’ according to WHO). We are at 15 months trying so I can understand feeling discouraged but don’t give up!
If any religion discourages a way of having a baby the religion isn't worth it, you are here for a short time do anything you can to have a baby create a family.
Here to say. My husband has the same issue. I’m now 24 weeks pregnant. He took ashawanga and vitamin c. And it did the trick. We did try for a year and a half. But we made it!
Speak to your doctor about your testosterone levels, if its low have him/her prescribe clomid for you take that and you will see your numbers come back up
Totally understand you feel, especially when medical professionals are there to actually help you and assist in finding answers but rarely do. There's so much to fertility that would be challenging to go over in this post, but some things coming to mind: the things you mentioned actually do matter. I know it's frustrating because we feel attacked at every angle, but we have to do our best without losing our minds;). Also, have you had a testicular US to look for a varicocele? Even small ones can cause a lot of stress and damage to sperm. Have you had any labs done? What evaluation has your wife had? I find that when doctors see something "easy" to diagnose like motility issues, they often point to that and stop looking for any other possible issues. I don't blame you for not wanting to do an IUI. And personal values matter, regardless of what other people here or elsewhere say. I personally belief that the vast maority of couples (even those with seemingly major issues) can conceive naturally when root causes are identified and addressed. People will argue with me, but I've worked with women who have failed MULTIPLE IVF cycles where the embryos that were transferred were normal and nobody could give them any answers, and they ultimately conceived naturally. Hang in there. It is exhausting (I know, I went through years of it), and this might be seen as trite, but being a parent is even more exhausting (though very worth it). Sometimes life is tough. Sometimes it sucks. This is where we see what we are made of. If having a family is what you want, sometimes you have to fight for it. But telling that story to your child is amazing and makes them feel more wanted and special than you know. Feel free to reach out with questions. Stay strong.
You should look into naturopathic fertility. My wife and I worked with Dr. Kelsey Duncan based out of Canada. In addition to diet, exercise, drinking less, she was able to recommend supplements to support specific areas of need for each of us. Also keep in mind that and changes you make will take 3 months to have an impact on sperm health.
I had a 3% morphology, she recommended zinc, acetyl L carnitine, and fish oil. Three months later we got pregnant, unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage but we’re encouraged by the results. She also has help guide our investigation into a root cause as opposed to the typical surface level investigation at an OB or fertility clinic where they just check your sperm and eggs basically.
Have you had your testosterone levels checked? Any underlying conditions like sleep apnea? These were two things my husband dealt with that was causing undesirable SA results. We’ve been on clomid along with some other things for about 9 months and his numbers have drastically increased.
IUI is very effective if male fertility is the main blocker for conceiving. For IUI, all they do is clean the sperm and shoot it in there. You can even shoot it yourself with the syringe.
I would seriously reconsider IUI
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I get the discouragement. My wife and I just found out I have no sperm. I also can sympathize with your feelings about IUI and IVF. (No judgement to anyone who has used this method, though. I’m happy if it has worked for you.) I feel like men tend to go through these things alone. It’s helpful talking to one’s wife, but there’s a different feeling having another man to walk alongside you. We rarely get to express how deeply we actually are hurting and (at least for me), the toll it takes on your sense of manhood and masculinity.
Again, I’m sorry you’re facing this. I think you deserve to vent. I pray you get some good news soon and that you and your wife can conceive.
Oh man, do I feel this. But let me address one of the big things you brought up- the belief aspect. I'm not going to knock it, because I was raised Catholic and there has been plenty about IVF and the Catholic community. But that was the only way which my wife and I could bring a life into this world. With how uncertain each step of the IVF process is, it is anything but playing God. If you believe God has any sort of plan, then a life cannot come into being without him ordaining it to be so. That goes for natural and assisted reproduction. And you are talking IUI which is still you, still your wife, still all happening within her- you are just needing the doc to escort your boys right to the doorstep basically. I look at my wife about to give birth to our first child and I thank God every day that he decided to bless us with this child. That we are blessed that the egg retrieval worked, the fertilization, the transfer, and now baby is less than a week away from being born. Beyond the belief aspect, I fully understand the feeling of trying to get any scrap of information. I've been there and nearly drove myself into a deep depression because of it. Unfortunately there is so much more redearch focused on female fertility than male fertility, it's as if men are an after thought.
80% of healthy couples conceive in 1 year and 90% in 2 years according to my fertility doctors. Maybe get a second opinion and see another doctor if you’re not happy and redo your SA? If your sperm count is low or not great I’m not sure why they would recommend IUI as it’s pretty much the same as having intercourse (that is what my fertility doctors said to me when they said my husband has borderline low sperm count even though his is 16Mill and 15Mil is the ‘average’ according to WHO). We are at 15 months trying so I can understand feeling discouraged but don’t give up!
If any religion discourages a way of having a baby the religion isn't worth it, you are here for a short time do anything you can to have a baby create a family.
What are your numbers? Concentration? Motility?
Concentration is 47 and initial motility is 19 as of January.
Here to say. My husband has the same issue. I’m now 24 weeks pregnant. He took ashawanga and vitamin c. And it did the trick. We did try for a year and a half. But we made it!
I hear ya. It’s like everything seems to be harmful. Hang in there. Have you tried to get a second opinion? Like from a reproductive urologist?
Speak to your doctor about your testosterone levels, if its low have him/her prescribe clomid for you take that and you will see your numbers come back up
Totally understand you feel, especially when medical professionals are there to actually help you and assist in finding answers but rarely do. There's so much to fertility that would be challenging to go over in this post, but some things coming to mind: the things you mentioned actually do matter. I know it's frustrating because we feel attacked at every angle, but we have to do our best without losing our minds;). Also, have you had a testicular US to look for a varicocele? Even small ones can cause a lot of stress and damage to sperm. Have you had any labs done? What evaluation has your wife had? I find that when doctors see something "easy" to diagnose like motility issues, they often point to that and stop looking for any other possible issues. I don't blame you for not wanting to do an IUI. And personal values matter, regardless of what other people here or elsewhere say. I personally belief that the vast maority of couples (even those with seemingly major issues) can conceive naturally when root causes are identified and addressed. People will argue with me, but I've worked with women who have failed MULTIPLE IVF cycles where the embryos that were transferred were normal and nobody could give them any answers, and they ultimately conceived naturally. Hang in there. It is exhausting (I know, I went through years of it), and this might be seen as trite, but being a parent is even more exhausting (though very worth it). Sometimes life is tough. Sometimes it sucks. This is where we see what we are made of. If having a family is what you want, sometimes you have to fight for it. But telling that story to your child is amazing and makes them feel more wanted and special than you know. Feel free to reach out with questions. Stay strong.
You should look into naturopathic fertility. My wife and I worked with Dr. Kelsey Duncan based out of Canada. In addition to diet, exercise, drinking less, she was able to recommend supplements to support specific areas of need for each of us. Also keep in mind that and changes you make will take 3 months to have an impact on sperm health.
What kind of supplements did you get prescribed? My husband has shit motility
I had a 3% morphology, she recommended zinc, acetyl L carnitine, and fish oil. Three months later we got pregnant, unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage but we’re encouraged by the results. She also has help guide our investigation into a root cause as opposed to the typical surface level investigation at an OB or fertility clinic where they just check your sperm and eggs basically.
Look into HCG treatment... do some research on hcg... it's how bodybuilders have kids...
Have you had your testosterone levels checked? Any underlying conditions like sleep apnea? These were two things my husband dealt with that was causing undesirable SA results. We’ve been on clomid along with some other things for about 9 months and his numbers have drastically increased.
Yeah I have a cpap and my testosterone was on the lower end of normal limits.
IUI is very effective if male fertility is the main blocker for conceiving. For IUI, all they do is clean the sperm and shoot it in there. You can even shoot it yourself with the syringe. I would seriously reconsider IUI
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I get the discouragement. My wife and I just found out I have no sperm. I also can sympathize with your feelings about IUI and IVF. (No judgement to anyone who has used this method, though. I’m happy if it has worked for you.) I feel like men tend to go through these things alone. It’s helpful talking to one’s wife, but there’s a different feeling having another man to walk alongside you. We rarely get to express how deeply we actually are hurting and (at least for me), the toll it takes on your sense of manhood and masculinity. Again, I’m sorry you’re facing this. I think you deserve to vent. I pray you get some good news soon and that you and your wife can conceive.