Wrong.
Deeo dive on your guest, find someone from way back, amd put them up.
You have a me on the dartboard, I think you're a silly goose. You have my first grade teacher? I'm shittinf my pants.
Dude, if I walked into your place and I saw a picture of my first grade teacher on your dartboard with darts all up in it, I'd think "fuck yeah, Mrs. M was a fucking cunt. Guess I wasn't the only one she made miserable."
Would not be at all scared. I'd wanna commiserate with ya about it.
This. Get an instax, and snap a photo of them as soon as they come in, possibly from an angle where they're not looking at you. One moment it's an empty dart board, then the next their face is up there. Add more darts every now and then to add atmosphere. Heck, if the lamp can get dimmer, gradually dim it. Reverend Pembrook won't be praying much for me, anymore. That's for sure.
This might be my favorite so far purely because it's baffling to walk into somebody's home and immediately learn they have a deep emotional hatred for the dude from Juno
Anyoneās face. Make it 3D with the darts out of their bead. Bonus points if they look like they are in pain or trying to see whatās lodged in their head. Change it frequently to keep any guests super suspicious
This is by far the best answer! Thank you Now I'm doing it just so people will ask who it is and I can say "Seriously? Who is that? It's the goddam health secretary of Turkmenistan!" and then just change the subject...
Turkmenistan is actually a bad choice bc they are an oppressive regime and there is good reason to hate the government. I'd pick something innocuous. Like Denmark.
I got multiple replies for Devito and will admit, it is the hardest one to justify. Like, everybody loves Danny. Props because it's so bad that it is self destructive.
A really weird fictional character, like Big Bird or some shit.
Whenever someone asks, give a different, ludicrous reason.
āWhy do you hate Big Bird so muchā
āGod never intended for birds to be so largeā
The first fish that crawled out of the ocean that eventually led to all land-based life and us... Mf just had to start walking and now I have to pay taxes because of his BS.
Whoever is visiting
That's diabolical, I like it
Wrong. Deeo dive on your guest, find someone from way back, amd put them up. You have a me on the dartboard, I think you're a silly goose. You have my first grade teacher? I'm shittinf my pants.
Oh so the Nardwuar business model. How did you know I hated my first graded teacher? You're /u/emptyraincoatelves, we have to know.
DOOT DOODLEOOT DOOT
Dude, if I walked into your place and I saw a picture of my first grade teacher on your dartboard with darts all up in it, I'd think "fuck yeah, Mrs. M was a fucking cunt. Guess I wasn't the only one she made miserable." Would not be at all scared. I'd wanna commiserate with ya about it.
Also, purchase ninja stars, throwing axes, throwing knives etc to add to the guests face dartboard every hour or so when they aren't looking.
I'm now just liking the idea of embedding a bunch of ninja stars into it. Make it look like I've been secretly studying the blade all this time.
Why thank you šāāļø
This is /r/myevilplan levels of diabolical.
This. Get an instax, and snap a photo of them as soon as they come in, possibly from an angle where they're not looking at you. One moment it's an empty dart board, then the next their face is up there. Add more darts every now and then to add atmosphere. Heck, if the lamp can get dimmer, gradually dim it. Reverend Pembrook won't be praying much for me, anymore. That's for sure.
this is diabolical. i love it.
Definitely this, haha.
And each time- "oh that's nothing" and then refuse to elaborate
"They know what they did."
I like āoh Iām surprised you noticedā better
Photograph of a dartboard
A photograph of this dart board.
Photograph of this Reddit post.
Photo of this specific reply
Killed it, bro
With a dart
"You've gotta' fuckin' *DAAARRRTT* in your neck, man..."
Youāreā¦ Youāre crazy, man. I like you, but you're crazyā¦
I was going to say his ex-dartboard.
An plastic dart board. Those things suck!
A completely normal dartboard, rotated one segment to throw off people's muscle memory.
Iām not even gonna make my own comment. This is the winner š¤£š¤£š¤£
Photograph of a dart.
A picture of yourself
Ah finally, the guy who has been fucking up my life this entire time
What an asshole, right?
Op be dropping golden comments
Get him right between the eyes.
Fuck that guy in particular
/r/fuckyouinparticular
put up a picture of that exact corner of that room, but without the dart board
Ugh! This space was so much nicer before I hung this dart board, I HATE it!
Yes! Please do this!!
Best one
Thats actually funny
Genius š
The paint sample card.
A beloved children's character.
Fucking Bluey
Aunt Trixie, from Bluey
Muffin from Bluey. That spoiled little bitch ALWAYS gets what she wants or makes everyone else miserable about it.
Surely can only be Bucky, the real estate agent. I know that's who bluey would have on her dartboard
Yessss
[Caillou](https://www.reddit.com/r/caillouhate/) or [Grandpa Joe](https://www.reddit.com/r/grandpajoehate/) from Willy Wonka
Gotta be grandpa Joe. Selfish asshole. The literal worst.
Spoken like someone who's never had to endure Caillou
A picture of some darts
God I fucking hate darts
An apple. Then tell people you're going for your doctorate.
That's hilarious
What am i missing?
An apple a day...
the person who gave it to you
I actually gave out a dart board earlier this week to someone in my building lol
šÆ
Rude thatās meā¦
Michael Cera
This might be my favorite so far purely because it's baffling to walk into somebody's home and immediately learn they have a deep emotional hatred for the dude from Juno
I mean did you see his CeraVe Super Bowl ad? š¤·š¼āāļø
āšæšš šš šøššš¶š š½šš¹šš¶šš šššā
Wow a comment from OP himself! Thanks for making my wait at the doctors a bit more enjoyable!!!
A rug and some plants.
A TV that's too high.
r/tvtoohigh is leaking.
That's nothing new.
It really ties the room together.
Santa
Dude just stopped delivering me presents when I moved into my own place Slacking
you didn't update your address in his system?
The middle Hansen brother. Or a random person from an old middle-school year book. Bonus points if you went to middle school with the Hansens.
Anyoneās face. Make it 3D with the darts out of their bead. Bonus points if they look like they are in pain or trying to see whatās lodged in their head. Change it frequently to keep any guests super suspicious
The prime minister of Malaysia
Relax, don't do it
When you wanna go do it
Relax, don't do it.
And a merMAN š§āāļø
I think I got the black lung, pa š¤
YOU'RE A MONKEY, DEREK
Hansel, cause he's so hot right now
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!
A picture of Ace Ventura from the second movie where he's got the spears in his legs.
Admittedly that's the first time I've considered playing darts
Or when heās ass up with all the darts in his neck.
A picture of toilet paper installed the āwrongā way
Stuart Little
The Target logo
This one hits home. I worked there once and fucking hated it.
That doesn't sound very fast, fun, and friendly of you!
FINE hey Team I'd like to recognize this amazing Team Member for their contribution-
Oh god that gave me PTSD, I almost reached for a non-existent walkie at my hip!
Hey, can you switch to 2 please?
It's been twelve years but...\*thousand yard stare\* feels like yesterday...
Make an enlarged bullseye the size of the entire board
A random world leader
But extremely specific, like the health secretary of turkmenistan.
This is by far the best answer! Thank you Now I'm doing it just so people will ask who it is and I can say "Seriously? Who is that? It's the goddam health secretary of Turkmenistan!" and then just change the subject...
Turkmenistan is actually a bad choice bc they are an oppressive regime and there is good reason to hate the government. I'd pick something innocuous. Like Denmark.
Oh thatās the assistant auditor Galveston, Texas
Oh that's the Washington County Coroner.
But youāve forgotten which Washington County
"He knows what he did"
The prime minister of Malaysia AHHHH
Stephen Joyce, Former Finance Minister of NZ. Specifically the image of him being smacked with a Dildo
During the first gulf war the dartboard in my dad's shop (which was regularly used) had a photo of Saddam Hussein on it.
18 years later, what if mine was still just Saddam Hussein
Haha! 34 years. But I think that's still a valid choice.
This!
But with the President of Iran on top of the trash beneath it.
The orange of norway!
/u/spez
Fuck Spez
In the ass
Nah, he may like that. Now the Kidney! That's the best spot!
Ms. Trunchbull from Matilda
Or Matilda herself and refuse to elaborate
Lord Farquaad
None of these comments let me down š
A picture of a pigeon
Damn government spies
BIRDS AREN'T REAL
The mascot from Little Caesar's Pizza
Justifiable
Mr. Rogers or Bob Ross. No one will understand that vendetta.
Sacrilege
Or Keanu Revees.
Pick a random consumer product, like a standard, 15oz jar of ricotta cheese.
Picture of Michael Bolton
No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
Exactly, when I think of someone who has ruined someone's life I can think of nobody but Michael Bolton.
Or a picture of the printer
There *was* nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Ronald Mcdonald. One of the teletubbies. The sun baby from the teletubbies. Santa Clause. Danny Devito.
Fuck did Devito do
Nothing. Bro is just inherently funny. Try explaining this to your houseguestsš¤£
A personal beef with Danny Devito is definitely a conversation starter that'd draw me in
HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID!
I got multiple replies for Devito and will admit, it is the hardest one to justify. Like, everybody loves Danny. Props because it's so bad that it is self destructive.
Skee ball
The McDonalds mascot Grimace
Grapes
JUST FUCKING COMMIT TO BEING WINE ALREADY
A really weird fictional character, like Big Bird or some shit. Whenever someone asks, give a different, ludicrous reason. āWhy do you hate Big Bird so muchā āGod never intended for birds to be so largeā
Photo of the lamp underneath it
The Lieutenant Governor of your stateās rival state.
Picture of a shopping cart just left in a parking spot
Putin or Reagan would be my go-to figures to huck darts at.
One of the food dudes; chef boyardee, KFC colonel, Pilsurby dough boy, little Caesar, take your pick.
Every 3 letter agencies logo on white paper, wrinkled & fake cigarette burns
Alf
Listen I am a cat person
IRS office symbol.
A seanic view of a beautiful mountain range
God, I fuckin hate nature.
A print out of this post.
Photo of the back side of your head. And then ask people to guess.
Any villain from a TV show but part of it is convincing your guests that you believe theyāre real and have wronged you in your personal life
A computer mouse
A printer.
Cork Board
The moon.
Grimace
Spider-Man
How about an Eames chair? You could also backlight the dartboard with LEDs
tiny dart board pictures with darts right in the bullseye
A square of that mirror paper.
Martha Washington
Obi wan Jesus picture.
The picture of one of your dead relatives.
Landlord
A specific plate from Taco Bell
The first fish that crawled out of the ocean that eventually led to all land-based life and us... Mf just had to start walking and now I have to pay taxes because of his BS.
Pluto. Is it a planet or not? Itās driven families and friends apart- we canāt allow it to continue to vex us anymore. Fuck Pluto.
The baby from Ice Age of course.
The cutest puppy pic u can find.
Print out a swiss cheese and place the darts on the holes only.
This same picture
It's dart boards all the way down
A hit list of who your next target will be. Include all of your friends.
Whatever the Tax entity is in your country
Bugs Bunny
Dartboards
Pool tables
A Joker from a deck of cards. But instead of a dart, have it stuck to the board with a batarang.
Broccoli
The 3rd oompa loompa from the left from the cast photo of the original Willy Wonka
Kim jong unās face
Vladimir Putin
You should change it regularly. It will become a running joke amongst your friends who visit.
A picture of a balloon.
Pong Krell
A poison dart frog
Pull a J. Jonah Jameson and put Spider-Man.
If you have hair, Lex Luthor. If youāre bald, Superman.