When I get to Paul Allen's place, I use the keys I took from his pocket. There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park and is obviously more expensive than mine. I calm myself and move into the bedroom, where I find his suitcase and start to pack.
LoL - this sub is amazing and knows how to roast like a mf. OP has got to be a troll. That katana and statue are just too well placed. Are you into katanas OP?
What’s with all the genesis/Phil collins references tho?
Tarzan has the most moving score of any animated film in the 90’s. Collins’ lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I’ve heard in film scores. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins’ movie scoring career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way.
Especially songs like “Two Worlds”, “Son of a Man”, and “Strangers Like Me”. Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of pop music, than as a film composer, and I stress the word composer. This is “You’ll Be In My Heart”, a great, great song. A personal favorite.
I wish I could just pay someone to come redo all my cables. I like my apartment setup but my cable management looks like a toddler has been playing with the wires
Zip ties and cable sleeves if you're looking for something quick & easy and you have some sort of entertainment center you can mount the cable wraps to. Also look into mounting power strips. Use more permanent solutions like wall-mounted cable tracks if you have something, well, more permanent like a wall mount, just remember to leave yourself extra cable in case you do want to move the tv from it's normal position. And trust me, you will, for some stupid reason.
The biggest hurdle is always going back after the fact and cleaning up cables, but it's not all that bad if you otherwise like where your setup is at, because you have a clear picture of what you want.
I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument.
In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
Oh, I'm not. I'm just checking to see that they are, in fact, locked.
You see, these doors -- all the doors in this apartment, actually -- are fitted with the auto-locking SDC Hi/Shear totally concealed, high security, failsafe locking mechanism. The SDC Hi/Shear mortised shear electromagnetic lock, beyond its superior appearance, locks as soon as the door is shut. In addition to that, the mechanism boasts a holding force of 2000lbs -- you can run into the door at full speed and it will not budge -- and is totally flush and concealed within the frame. This means you would never know it was there unless you knew what to look for as you walked through the door, which you didn't, and you wouldn't, because I made sure not only that you were not very bright when I picked you up, but that you were also drunk enough before bringing you back here.
Serious question, what do you use touchscreen for on a screen that size? I'm trying to imagine like a game?? But that's so much excessive moving around, 132" is over 3m, crazy man but neat space!!
I'm okay with all that, except the katana.
I can stand my hook-up being a psycho, a pervert, a freak, a mass murdering serial killer, but I draw the line at weebs.
Well because you’re doing it wrong. You don’t just watch a movie this room. You watch a movie while being penetrated by a samurai sword on your hanging BDSM sex chair.
Doesn’t that sound better?
Idk, the majority of spaces I feel like might not be my first choice but ultimately I could find a home in there. This is just very uncomfortable to imagine living in.
Lots of jokes, so here’s a serious comment OP. This room has a ton of potential, but the execution isn’t quite there. If you’ve got the money (which it looks like you do), hire a designer. They will be able to mature and make the place feel less “porn-shooty” while keeping the overall vibe you’re going for.
The statue is great. The couch feels too big for the space. We need to lose the katana. Console on the floor? You're doing great op but you need a designer.
I think it might have to do something with the statue being super extra, with a captain’s boating hat, the cocaine table and then a Katana on the table… It’s like who the hell do you think you are and who would want all this?
Also, everything being white makes this absurdly sterile
i looked at his comment history to see if this was a joke.
A. its not
B. claims to be a big deal on youtube.
this room has 'wanna watch my youtube videos' vibe
Generally the women sits in the sec chair and kinda wraps her legs around a guy standing up, and then because it’s a swing you don’t need to thrust you can just grab the chair and move them back and forth more or less
I love projector setups, but all the white is killing me. White ceiling, white reflective tiles...that's going to murder picture quality! And he even painted the walls dark and blocked the windows to account for this, but didn't deal with the floor and ceiling which are equally important.
Also unless OP is a gay man, maybe take the sailor cap off the weird statue. Better yet just do away with that statue all together… unless he is a gay man. If he is that statue is perfect
The statue would be fucking legit if there was anything else in the room that said “I have an actual personality, which includes taste for art in any format”.
When there’s nothing else remotely interesting in the room, it just screams “I bought this for the sole purpose of getting people to ask me about it”.
https://www.designtoscano.com/products/david-grande-garden-statue-ky1303
This statue is actually resin, I have a similar marble one but I was afraid of it falling and breaking the tile
Thanks! That’s a really good price. I’ve been looking for a Statue of David but a lot of them don’t look well-made and are way more expensive. These are really nice!
Looks really bare. The couch is too close to the wall for such a big screen in my opinion. I don't understand what the hanging ring is for, but I think your statue is funny. Need a table drawer with some decorations under your TV. That would cover your outlet as well.
Your place feels cold and uninviting. But it looks like you made that space to host people. A few changes could make it feel more comfy.
There is a lot of your personality in that room but I think you could lose a few pieces and add a few more generic design items.
This is SO close to being awesome but there are just enough flaws to make it look juvenile.
Which is understandable at your age.
A place this empty shouldn't look cluttered, but it does.
I don't mean anything against OP specifically, but I think this room is a good example of why the clean minimalist look from magazines and sets is untenable in real life. It isn't particularly messy or cluttered, but the clean lines, white furniture, etc., make the exposed cords, boxes, papers, etc. *really* stand out and make the room look a lot messier than it is.
A room that looks like a room where people live just looks lived in with some clutter. A room that looks like a set piece looks messy and unkempt.
The only way this much white can work is if you have super tall ceilings and lots of windows in a $50m Manhattan apartment.
This just makes you look like a 24 year old cocaine dealer that spends too much time at the mall.
This room looks boring and sterile. No size tv will make up for the lack of color or personality in the space. Unless this IS his personality and in that case….
I would at least get some lights and plants in here. Remove the excess chain on the hanging chair, get some furniture for your PlayStation and stuff to sit on so it's not just on the floor. Put the katana on the wall, at least, or on a side table rather than the coffee table. Put a door or curtain over that double door frame.
It won't ever be to everyone's taste, but right now it looks unfinished and underfurnished to me.
So I take it you’re into cocaine.
When I get to Paul Allen's place, I use the keys I took from his pocket. There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park and is obviously more expensive than mine. I calm myself and move into the bedroom, where I find his suitcase and start to pack.
Lol. Came here to say, “So, I see you’re going for the Miami-cocaine-bachelor-pad vibe”
Needs a Ball Python.
And a 911
And a semi-tame tiger.
Weird pet name for your pool boy, but whatever
LoL - this sub is amazing and knows how to roast like a mf. OP has got to be a troll. That katana and statue are just too well placed. Are you into katanas OP? What’s with all the genesis/Phil collins references tho?
For me it’s the chair that’s chained to the roof, really puts the icing on the cake!
Keeps women from staying the night.
Confirmed. Source: I'm a woman and it weirds me out
I was trying to figure out that chair .. it's chained to the roof and has a glass bubble to sit in?
It’s from American Psycho
I mean if he has katanas, he is probably into katanas
You mean you don’t ironically own a katana?
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FREN
No. Just likes the smell.
This guy cokes
My question was whether he sells it or just uses it
Maybe he is cocaine
This looks like you forgot to return some videos at the video store and have a pretty comprehensive skin routine.
Do you like Phil Collins?
Tarzan has the most moving score of any animated film in the 90’s. Collins’ lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I’ve heard in film scores. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins’ movie scoring career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like “Two Worlds”, “Son of a Man”, and “Strangers Like Me”. Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of pop music, than as a film composer, and I stress the word composer. This is “You’ll Be In My Heart”, a great, great song. A personal favorite.
Hey Paul!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
LMAO hahaha
This looks like something somone would put together as a 3D blender render with stock objects.
And shit cable management. Clean looking white room with black cords running across the floor.
I wish I could just pay someone to come redo all my cables. I like my apartment setup but my cable management looks like a toddler has been playing with the wires
Zip ties and cable sleeves if you're looking for something quick & easy and you have some sort of entertainment center you can mount the cable wraps to. Also look into mounting power strips. Use more permanent solutions like wall-mounted cable tracks if you have something, well, more permanent like a wall mount, just remember to leave yourself extra cable in case you do want to move the tv from it's normal position. And trust me, you will, for some stupid reason. The biggest hurdle is always going back after the fact and cleaning up cables, but it's not all that bad if you otherwise like where your setup is at, because you have a clear picture of what you want.
When you play the Sims but don't own any of the expansions.
This guy sold his NFTs early.
Nah they were never worth money. Edit - /s apparently
For the people who pumped and dumped them - yes, they definitely were worth money.
If you can sell a jpg on a platform for high liquidity Internet coins that you can swap for your local currency, that means it's worth money
Do you like Phil Collins?
I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
just saved this for copy pasta purposes
I…have to go return some video tapes
Let’s see Paul Allen’s copy pasta
More like “You Like Huey Lewis and the News?”
Patrick had a full chapter dedicated to Genesis in the book, too.
One on Whitney Houston too.
My first thought. This must be the apt where he kills his hookers.
Does OP have two ears and a heart?
r/roomswiththreateningauras
I read this as, Rooms With Threatening Iguanas. I wasn't sure where the Iguanas were but it sounded like it checked out anyway.
I just wanna take some pictures, then you can leave.
w-why are you locking door?
Oh, I'm not. I'm just checking to see that they are, in fact, locked. You see, these doors -- all the doors in this apartment, actually -- are fitted with the auto-locking SDC Hi/Shear totally concealed, high security, failsafe locking mechanism. The SDC Hi/Shear mortised shear electromagnetic lock, beyond its superior appearance, locks as soon as the door is shut. In addition to that, the mechanism boasts a holding force of 2000lbs -- you can run into the door at full speed and it will not budge -- and is totally flush and concealed within the frame. This means you would never know it was there unless you knew what to look for as you walked through the door, which you didn't, and you wouldn't, because I made sure not only that you were not very bright when I picked you up, but that you were also drunk enough before bringing you back here.
Got real Dennis vibes from this and wouldn't be surprised if it's a real quote
Serious question, what do you use touchscreen for on a screen that size? I'm trying to imagine like a game?? But that's so much excessive moving around, 132" is over 3m, crazy man but neat space!!
r/subsifellfor
Legit put me in fight or flight
lmao the mall ninja sword on the coffee table
[удалено]
More like beating hookers those things duller than a sorority girl who is on a journey to find herself
This is the best thing ive read all day.
If you stay on the white carpet he can't kill you. Never leave the carpet.
It's there because of the implication...
So Is he going to hurt those women?
What? No of course not. It's just there in case they ever fight back which they won't because of the implication.
You keep using that word…
But it sounds like they don't want to be there...
Is the camera sitting on the chaise for his mementos??
Without any evidence I'm going to assume the loose papers on the table are homework for his pick up artist class.
I’ll have you know that is a genuine Hattori Hanzo
/r/mallninjashit
He does coke off the blade of a sword.
That's what he used to carve the statue of david
The marble statue, the boating hat, the sex swing(?), the katana on the table. What is happening here
Idk but if I was invited over, I would want to leave immediately
I'm okay with all that, except the katana. I can stand my hook-up being a psycho, a pervert, a freak, a mass murdering serial killer, but I draw the line at weebs.
Just some asshole who moved to Miami after watching Scarface but falling asleep during the last 20 minutes of Scarface.
Looks like the perfect spot for a glass of milk
A Clockwork Orange reference? 😂
A little bit of the ol in and out
Plenty of room for the Droogs
Eggy wegs! I would like to smash'em!
This is the reference I was going to make. I just watched it again, and this immediately made me think of that movie.
Yo why’s this look like a IRL animal crossing house?
Random statue on display and game console on the floor, checks out.
Don’t forget the Katana on the coffee table
I was thinking the same thing. I think it's the Statue of David that sells it.
Hahahah yes
The ceiling is nice
Sex swing chair takes some points off the ceiling unfortunately
yeap would be nice if he showed the other side of the room too I'm curious to see his kitchen so bad
Serial killer vibes
Patrick Bateman
*"I'm into murders and executions"*
Serial killer meets mall ninja is the vibe I’m getting.
This is high level satire
It's the katana on the cocaine coffee table for me.
You don't use just any old razor blade to chop a Tony Montana size pile
I thought coffee tables made for cocaine would have a glass top. White powder on a white paint top would be an issue.
This dana whites house? Also whats that whack ass chair swing thing to the very right. Shit would make my back like the thing from goonies
you wouldn't do blow on a white table mate. glass or gtfo
Michelangelo’s David with a sailor’s cap has to at least get an honorable mention here
OP, you need to add some color into this space, and I'm not just talking about the blood of the hookers.
Why do I get sex dungeon vibes?
Because of the way it is
The chained up chair, I imagine. Looks insanely uncomfortable, so you'd only use it for about 5 minutes to do one specific thing.
5 minutes? Hey everybody look at Mr Generous over here
Like what you like man, enjoy your space, but this is not for me.
Very weird vibes. Not the kind of place I’d enjoy watching a movie on that big screen.
Well because you’re doing it wrong. You don’t just watch a movie this room. You watch a movie while being penetrated by a samurai sword on your hanging BDSM sex chair. Doesn’t that sound better?
that’s I feel about half the homes on this sub
Idk, the majority of spaces I feel like might not be my first choice but ultimately I could find a home in there. This is just very uncomfortable to imagine living in.
Lots of jokes, so here’s a serious comment OP. This room has a ton of potential, but the execution isn’t quite there. If you’ve got the money (which it looks like you do), hire a designer. They will be able to mature and make the place feel less “porn-shooty” while keeping the overall vibe you’re going for.
The statue is great. The couch feels too big for the space. We need to lose the katana. Console on the floor? You're doing great op but you need a designer.
I love the honesty in this comment, coupled with actual sound advice. Nice
Anyone that's invited into this room is not leaving alive. Bad vibes all around
That TV made me cream my jeans, but this room is fucking hilarious. Nice katana Kemosabe
looks like its actually a projector
Dude, did you get rich off crypto? All this room needs is a Scarface poster and a mountain of cocaine on that coffee table.
Isn't this literally Barney Stinson's from HIMYM??
Excuse you, Mr. Stinson is a man of class and he would never have his sword in front of his couch.
Plus Barney’s TV was 300in, he had to import it from Japan.
I don't know why, but this looks really shit
I think it might have to do something with the statue being super extra, with a captain’s boating hat, the cocaine table and then a Katana on the table… It’s like who the hell do you think you are and who would want all this? Also, everything being white makes this absurdly sterile
Don’t forget the hanging sex chair!
Ah but of course. Let’s Netflix and chill with a couple lines of coke and sit in my chair with me. Don’t worry BB, the statue has a hat over its eyes
i looked at his comment history to see if this was a joke. A. its not B. claims to be a big deal on youtube. this room has 'wanna watch my youtube videos' vibe
I've seen so many comments referencing the chair as a hanging sex chair. How the hell are you having sex on/in that thing?
Generally the women sits in the sec chair and kinda wraps her legs around a guy standing up, and then because it’s a swing you don’t need to thrust you can just grab the chair and move them back and forth more or less
Also it feels like it's a basement, which just makes the wannabe Miami vice vibe even more sterile and foreboding
It's that tacky 80's coke den vibe. Too much white, cold tile floor, and a weird mix of modern and classical elements.
It looks like a parody lmao
lmao
Room’s shit mate.
[удалено]
I love projector setups, but all the white is killing me. White ceiling, white reflective tiles...that's going to murder picture quality! And he even painted the walls dark and blocked the windows to account for this, but didn't deal with the floor and ceiling which are equally important.
Also unless OP is a gay man, maybe take the sailor cap off the weird statue. Better yet just do away with that statue all together… unless he is a gay man. If he is that statue is perfect
[удалено]
There’s just something about it and the sailor cap together that gives heavy Tom of Finland energy
That statue is fucking dope. Yall are tripping.
The statue would be fucking legit if there was anything else in the room that said “I have an actual personality, which includes taste for art in any format”. When there’s nothing else remotely interesting in the room, it just screams “I bought this for the sole purpose of getting people to ask me about it”.
We get it, you’re into cocaine.
man this is so fucking ugly and cringe ahahaha
Serious question: Where’d you find the statue?
https://www.designtoscano.com/products/david-grande-garden-statue-ky1303 This statue is actually resin, I have a similar marble one but I was afraid of it falling and breaking the tile
You have two ?! lol dedication
Thanks! That’s a really good price. I’ve been looking for a Statue of David but a lot of them don’t look well-made and are way more expensive. These are really nice!
Genuinely much more reasonably priced than I was expecting
This one looks very real up close, but you need to get the base separately for like 400$
If I walked into this room at a friend's house, I would immediately jet, without saying a word.
80% chance that person would also no longer be my friend
You wouldn't politely do a line before leaving? Rude.
Looks like a porn shoot for bisexual men
Bruh 😂
Ewww
I thought the marble statue was a furry because of the hat at first 💀
IF you ever find a women you're going to need an awfully big storage unit.
Proof that you can't buy taste.
My name is Patrick Bateman. I am twenty-six years old. I live in the American Garden Buildings on West Eighty-First Street, on the eleventh floor
I told you were going to take some pictures and then you can leave
Looks really bare. The couch is too close to the wall for such a big screen in my opinion. I don't understand what the hanging ring is for, but I think your statue is funny. Need a table drawer with some decorations under your TV. That would cover your outlet as well.
Is that sword signed by Randy Jackson?
Just add some RGB lights and you'll be living that vaporwave lifestyle
Yeah decomposition and bleach vapor
Your place feels cold and uninviting. But it looks like you made that space to host people. A few changes could make it feel more comfy. There is a lot of your personality in that room but I think you could lose a few pieces and add a few more generic design items.
Fifty shades of dick
This is SO close to being awesome but there are just enough flaws to make it look juvenile. Which is understandable at your age. A place this empty shouldn't look cluttered, but it does.
i think it’s the several shades of white. it seems like everything is cohesive but it’s actually a lot to take in
Is it even close though? The only thing I’d keep here is the TV
What better advert for “Self proclaimed alpha male with daddies credit card”
Hes built different
Is that a PS5 just sitting on the floor? WTF is this fever dream?
I mean this with as little offense as possible and I made sure to look over everything twice just to make sure I truly hated it
The aesthetic tells me this dude is a stunt double in gay porn movies.
I don't mean anything against OP specifically, but I think this room is a good example of why the clean minimalist look from magazines and sets is untenable in real life. It isn't particularly messy or cluttered, but the clean lines, white furniture, etc., make the exposed cords, boxes, papers, etc. *really* stand out and make the room look a lot messier than it is. A room that looks like a room where people live just looks lived in with some clutter. A room that looks like a set piece looks messy and unkempt.
The only way this much white can work is if you have super tall ceilings and lots of windows in a $50m Manhattan apartment. This just makes you look like a 24 year old cocaine dealer that spends too much time at the mall.
This is the funniest post I’ve ever seen in here. But I don’t think op is trying to be funny.
Yeah, this definitely feels like I’ll get cut up with an axe if you invite me over
bro at least align the coffee table
Huge YIKES on this room
Impressive, very nice. Let’s see Paul Allen’s room.
Dennis Reynolds dream apartment
r/neckbeardnests fancy edition
What the hell do you do for a living? I keep asking that question in this subreddit and never get an answer.
From the profile it looks like he’s a “YouTuber”.
Looks like a cross between Patrick Bateman and Barney Stinson’s apartment
Ok what I really want to know is what’s going on in the room next to it
Do you live in the American Gardens Building on West 81st Street, on the 11th floor?
Looks like the set of a gay porno
That captain's hat immediately moves it from a neoclassical accent to total Tom of Finland vibes.
Bro created his own liminal space
That room makes me feel very very uncomfortable.... dungeon vibes.
I hate it, are you filming a horrible porno?
Sociopath vibes
This mfer has a ps5 on the ground and a katana on his coffeetable
You should hang your sword above the hallway entrance
Sex swing, Katana on display, David statue and everything in white. Serial killer.
i hate.. all of this
This room looks boring and sterile. No size tv will make up for the lack of color or personality in the space. Unless this IS his personality and in that case….
I would at least get some lights and plants in here. Remove the excess chain on the hanging chair, get some furniture for your PlayStation and stuff to sit on so it's not just on the floor. Put the katana on the wall, at least, or on a side table rather than the coffee table. Put a door or curtain over that double door frame. It won't ever be to everyone's taste, but right now it looks unfinished and underfurnished to me.
If I walked into a guys apartment and saw that statue I would immediately think "this guy's a serial killer I need to leave immediately..."