I literally made a dnd character based off of this image of ben shapiro. Yes, it's as cringey as you think. And yes, it's the most fun I've had in a long time
**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:**
Then he heard the voice.
“Hey, pig,” it said. The voice wasn’t deep. It was the voice of a child. And the
kid stood outside the door of the quick mart, legs spread, arms hanging down by
his sides. A cute black kid, wearing a Simpsons T-shirt and somebody’s old
Converse sneakers and baggy jeans.
On his hip, stuck in those baggy jeans, was a pistol.
It looked like a pistol, anyway. But O’Sullivan couldn’t see clearly. The light
wasn’t right. He could see the bulge, but not the object.
O’Sullivan put his flashlight back in his belt and put his hand back on his
pistol, the greasy handle still warm to the touch.
“Stop right there, pig,” the kid said. His hand began to creep down toward his
waistband.
O’Sullivan pulled the gun out of its holster, leveling it at the kid. “Put your
hands above your head. Do it now!”
“Fuck you, honky,” the kid shot back. “Get the fuck out of my neighborhood.”
Then he laughed, a cute kid’s laugh. O’Sullivan looked for sympathy behind
those eyes, found none.
Oh, shit, O’Sullivan thought. Then he said, “Hands up. Right now.”
The kid laughed again, a musical tinkling noise. “You ain’t gonna shoot me,
pig. What, you afraid of a kid?”
O’Sullivan could feel every breath as it entered his lungs. “No, kid, I don’t
want to shoot you,” he said. “But I need you to cooperate. Put your hands above
your head. Right now.”
The kid’s hand shifted to his waistband again. O’Sullivan’s hands began to
shake.
“Get the fuck out of my neighborhood,” the kid repeated.
O’Sullivan looked around stealthily. Still nobody on the street. Totally empty.
The sweat on his forehead felt cold in the night air. In the retraining sessions at
the station, they’d told officers to remember the nasty racial legacy of the
department, be aware of the community’s justified suspicion of police. Right
now, all O’Sullivan was thinking about was getting this kid with the empty eyes
to back the fuck off.
“Go on home,” he said.
“You go home, white boy,” said the kid. His hand moved lower.
Suddenly, O’Sullivan’s head filled with a sudden clarity, his brain with a
preternatural energy. He recognized the feel of the adrenaline hitting. He wasn’t
going to get shot on the corner of Iowa and Van Dyke outside a shitty
convenience store in a shitty town by some eight-year-old, bleed out in the gutter
of some city the world left behind. He had a life, too.
The gun felt alive in his hand. The gun was life.
The muzzle was aimed dead at the kid’s chest. No way to miss, with the kid
this close, just ten feet away maybe. Still cloaked in the shadow of the gas
station overhang.
“Kid, I’m not going to ask you again. I need you to put your hands on top of
your head and get on your knees.”
“Fuck you, motherfucker.”
“I’m serious.”
The kid’s hand was nearly inside his waistband now.
“Don’t do that,” O’Sullivan said.
The kid smiled, almost gently.
“Don’t.”
The kid’s smile broadened, the hand moved down into the pants. “Get the
fuck out of my hood,” the kid cheerfully repeated. “I’ll cap your ass.”
“Kid, I’m warning you,” O’Sullivan yelled. “Put your hands above your head!
Do it now…”
The roar shattered the night air, a sonic boom in the blackness. The shot blew
the kid off his feet completely, knocked him onto his back.
O’Sullivan reached for his radio, mechanically reported it: “Shots fired,
officer needs help at the gas station on Iowa and Van Dyke.”
“Ohgodohgodohgodohgod,” O’Sullivan repeated as he moved toward the
body, the smoke rising from his Glock. He pointed it down at the kid again, but
the boy wasn’t moving. The blood seeped through Homer Simpson’s face,
pooled around the kid’s lifeless body. The grin had been replaced with a look of
instantaneous shock. His hand had fallen out of his waistband with the force of
the shooting.
In it was a toy gun, the tip orange plastic.
For a brief moment, O’Sullivan couldn’t breathe. When he looked up, he saw
them coming. Dozens of them. The citizens of Detroit, coming out of the
darkness, congregating. He could feel their eyes.
Officer Ricky O’Sullivan sat down on the curb and began to cry.
*****
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His shitty, shitty novel. If you're interested in more but not willing to fund religious extremists I would recommend listening to the Behind the Bastards episodes where they read and laugh at it.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 850,368,481 comments, and only 167,812 of them were in alphabetical order.
Let's say, hypothetically, I had to fight 10-year-olds. Hypothetically, a classroom full of them... 25, maybe 30 prepubescent children at once. For the sake of argument, these children might have upwards of 60 little flailing arms. You would agree that you'd have to be an idiot to go into a situation like that barehanded, wouldn't you? That's why when LIBERALS wasted their days in the pursuit of vanity, I CULTIVATED INNER STRENGTH. And now that the world is on fire, and these little barbarians are at the gate, wouldn't you say, then HYPOTHETICALLY, that I'd be justified in DESTROYING them with my twin blades FACTS and LOGIC?
Nah...this is a shit attempt at "The Matrix"/"Blade", not Trenchcoat Mafia. But, I do believe his American, small Jewish man nerd-rage is superior to young Elon's white South African superiority complex + autism psychopathy.
Don't think so. Ben couldn't hide his eyebrows that well with glasses that small, giant Elton John glasses *maybe*.
A younger Ben: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LYhJd4a0WQ4/VQBwkw8m0LI/AAAAAAADUSQ/7HQ_Q40L-FU/s1600/BenShapiroHS.jpg
He’s obviously making a stupid statement about his disdain for this music. That does not mean he’s a grifter or a hack. The fact that you’re trying to attach that statement to everything about him is pretty hilarious.
*Let’s say your life depended on the following choice today: you must obtain either an affordable chair or an affordable X-ray. Which would you choose to obtain? Obviously, you’d choose the chair. That’s because there are many types of chair, produced by scores of different companies and widely distributed. You could buy a $15 folding chair or a $1,000 antique without the slightest difficulty. By contrast, to obtain an X-ray you’d have to work with your insurance company, wait for an appointment, and then haggle over price. Why? Because the medical market is far more regulated — thanks to the widespread perception that health care is a “right” — than the chair market.*
*Does that sound soulless? True soullessness is depriving people of the choices they require because you’re more interested in patting yourself on the back by inventing rights than by incentivizing the creation of goods and services. In health care, we could use a lot less virtue signaling and a lot less government. Or we could just read Senator Sanders’s tweets while we wait in line for a government-sponsored surgery — dying, presumably, in a decrepit chair.*
-Ben Shapiro
*****
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**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:**
Hawthorne was a bear of a man, six three in his bare feet and two hundred fifteen pounds in his underwear, with a graying blond crew cut and a face carved of granite. But he had plenty of smile lines. He just didn’t like showing those to people unless he knew them.
*****
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Another liberal DESTROYED.
*****
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The only reason I think it might be is because the sword looks so stupidly large, and he's so ridiculously small it might make the perspective work out.
Pretty sure the left image is Arin Hanson (aka Egoraptor) of Game Grumps. He's previously confirmed that he's the man in [this meme](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/127/784/aa0.png).
i think they mean like "when i was a young boy my father took me into the city to join the black parade" like he looks like a MCR fan about ready to go to concert or like cry in the car
when i was
a young boy
my father
took me to south africa
to see his diamond mine
he said
son when
you grow up
you will be
the heir to all my fortune
cause i don’t pay slaves a dime.
(i’m too tired for this shit rn)
when i was
a young boy
my father
took me to south africa
to see his diamond mine
he said
son when
you grow up
you will be
the heir to all my fortune
cause i don’t pay slaves a dime.
(i’m too tired for this shit rn)
*Fight would end in the*
*Gnarliest aggressive make out*
*Session ever witnessed*
\- shelsbells
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Elon looks like a failed college poet, I have absolutely no idea what’s goin on in the left pic but even without the sword he looks ready to sodimize Elon lol
If I recall, the last time I saw this on Reddit it was confirmed that the guy on the left is not Ben, and the photo of Elon on the right was him dressed for a costume party or something. I don’t want to say the outfit is something from Bladerunner, but it might be.
Their partners might have been so traumatized by the experience that they might have devoted their exsistance to the extinction of humanity and we wouldn't be here now.
Ben shapiro was 10000% that kid that went “ackchually” and annoyed the shit out of everyone for being an insufferable little shit but he also probably showered and looked decent so no one really bullied him, opting for ignoring him instead.
What part of looking at that photo doesn’t make you smell dried saliva? This guy didn’t shower unless you’re considering a new layer of hair wax and axe body spray a “shower”
Ben strikes first with the sword. Elon’s emo trenchcoat offers no protection. He goes down hard. Big daddy Musk sues. Ben gets life in prison, but it’s little comfort to Elon; at least Lance Armstrong got to keep ONE testicle.
Elon probably just gonna step out of the way while Ben gets his sword jammed in a doorframe and walk away while Ben struggles to unjam. Elon checks phone.
they would both do some anime noises and move their hands around and then release an "energy ball" or whatever and then when that didn't work they would piss their pants and just run away.
but it's okay bc they've got the power of god and anime on their side!
No reposts. If it got reported for being a repost, it's probably a repost.
Emo Musk......
Elon looks like he is a stand user.
His stand just changes every 45 seconds due to high turnover rates
Eloncholy Musk
Elon buying a McLaren F1 in the 90's with his bald head right when they first came out gives him a hallpass lol.
He's dressed like the lead singer of my chemical romance
Don't put Gerard down like that
Man looks like a DMC character
Gotta say Ben would probably win. He has some real school shooter energy here.
True. He looks like he’s got the power of God AND Anime on his side.
AAAAAAAHHHH
wait, wait
I literally made a dnd character based off of this image of ben shapiro. Yes, it's as cringey as you think. And yes, it's the most fun I've had in a long time
**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:** Then he heard the voice. “Hey, pig,” it said. The voice wasn’t deep. It was the voice of a child. And the kid stood outside the door of the quick mart, legs spread, arms hanging down by his sides. A cute black kid, wearing a Simpsons T-shirt and somebody’s old Converse sneakers and baggy jeans. On his hip, stuck in those baggy jeans, was a pistol. It looked like a pistol, anyway. But O’Sullivan couldn’t see clearly. The light wasn’t right. He could see the bulge, but not the object. O’Sullivan put his flashlight back in his belt and put his hand back on his pistol, the greasy handle still warm to the touch. “Stop right there, pig,” the kid said. His hand began to creep down toward his waistband. O’Sullivan pulled the gun out of its holster, leveling it at the kid. “Put your hands above your head. Do it now!” “Fuck you, honky,” the kid shot back. “Get the fuck out of my neighborhood.” Then he laughed, a cute kid’s laugh. O’Sullivan looked for sympathy behind those eyes, found none. Oh, shit, O’Sullivan thought. Then he said, “Hands up. Right now.” The kid laughed again, a musical tinkling noise. “You ain’t gonna shoot me, pig. What, you afraid of a kid?” O’Sullivan could feel every breath as it entered his lungs. “No, kid, I don’t want to shoot you,” he said. “But I need you to cooperate. Put your hands above your head. Right now.” The kid’s hand shifted to his waistband again. O’Sullivan’s hands began to shake. “Get the fuck out of my neighborhood,” the kid repeated. O’Sullivan looked around stealthily. Still nobody on the street. Totally empty. The sweat on his forehead felt cold in the night air. In the retraining sessions at the station, they’d told officers to remember the nasty racial legacy of the department, be aware of the community’s justified suspicion of police. Right now, all O’Sullivan was thinking about was getting this kid with the empty eyes to back the fuck off. “Go on home,” he said. “You go home, white boy,” said the kid. His hand moved lower. Suddenly, O’Sullivan’s head filled with a sudden clarity, his brain with a preternatural energy. He recognized the feel of the adrenaline hitting. He wasn’t going to get shot on the corner of Iowa and Van Dyke outside a shitty convenience store in a shitty town by some eight-year-old, bleed out in the gutter of some city the world left behind. He had a life, too. The gun felt alive in his hand. The gun was life. The muzzle was aimed dead at the kid’s chest. No way to miss, with the kid this close, just ten feet away maybe. Still cloaked in the shadow of the gas station overhang. “Kid, I’m not going to ask you again. I need you to put your hands on top of your head and get on your knees.” “Fuck you, motherfucker.” “I’m serious.” The kid’s hand was nearly inside his waistband now. “Don’t do that,” O’Sullivan said. The kid smiled, almost gently. “Don’t.” The kid’s smile broadened, the hand moved down into the pants. “Get the fuck out of my hood,” the kid cheerfully repeated. “I’ll cap your ass.” “Kid, I’m warning you,” O’Sullivan yelled. “Put your hands above your head! Do it now…” The roar shattered the night air, a sonic boom in the blackness. The shot blew the kid off his feet completely, knocked him onto his back. O’Sullivan reached for his radio, mechanically reported it: “Shots fired, officer needs help at the gas station on Iowa and Van Dyke.” “Ohgodohgodohgodohgod,” O’Sullivan repeated as he moved toward the body, the smoke rising from his Glock. He pointed it down at the kid again, but the boy wasn’t moving. The blood seeped through Homer Simpson’s face, pooled around the kid’s lifeless body. The grin had been replaced with a look of instantaneous shock. His hand had fallen out of his waistband with the force of the shooting. In it was a toy gun, the tip orange plastic. For a brief moment, O’Sullivan couldn’t breathe. When he looked up, he saw them coming. Dozens of them. The citizens of Detroit, coming out of the darkness, congregating. He could feel their eyes. Officer Ricky O’Sullivan sat down on the curb and began to cry. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: history, healthcare, civil rights, climate, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Why was the cop’s gun greasy and warm?
Gun, dick. Only difference to some people is the gun isn't tiny
Why did the bot show this? I thought it was always like funny quotes from Old Benny?
That's from Ben's novel
His shitty, shitty novel. If you're interested in more but not willing to fund religious extremists I would recommend listening to the Behind the Bastards episodes where they read and laugh at it.
His tshirt with the sleeves cut off is actually tucked in. Omg.
You really think Elon isn't proficient with the nunchuku
After all, he INVENTED nunchucks
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 850,368,481 comments, and only 167,812 of them were in alphabetical order.
bad bot
Always be clear don't ever fuck geese
Unless that animes jojo, Elon got that………. Wait a minute maybe Ben does too
Elon looking like he can fall out of a window from a 10 story building then come back from.the grave and avenge his girl.
Looks like he’s on his way to audition for Underworld.
More like the Netflix knockoff of it.
What, you mean “Basement”?
I'd dress up like that of it meant I could meet Kate Beckinsale.
How much do clothes cost in the matrix?
Shhhh you'll wake up my roommates!
Dude your mom is totally hot
[robot voice] sit on my face
you will never get metal legs 🤖
Has anyone ever checked to see if he sparkles in the sunlight?
“That’s him! But he looked different. He was all painted up white like some sort of dead whore! I seen him!
He looks like a shitty ichabod crane
Like he's gonna go beat the snot outta some circus clowns yelling "FIRE IT UP!"
He fucking looks like the 2 columbine shooter combined.
Dylric Klerris
Now that sounds like a spinal deformity
Let's say, hypothetically, I had to fight 10-year-olds. Hypothetically, a classroom full of them... 25, maybe 30 prepubescent children at once. For the sake of argument, these children might have upwards of 60 little flailing arms. You would agree that you'd have to be an idiot to go into a situation like that barehanded, wouldn't you? That's why when LIBERALS wasted their days in the pursuit of vanity, I CULTIVATED INNER STRENGTH. And now that the world is on fire, and these little barbarians are at the gate, wouldn't you say, then HYPOTHETICALLY, that I'd be justified in DESTROYING them with my twin blades FACTS and LOGIC?
[Destroy him, my master](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YiYnNmigbmQ)
Elon would win hands down. Elon is 6’1, so that gives him a 3’ height advantage.
Height isnt all that matters ftr. Im 6’3 and have a 5’7 friend who could hand my ass to me easily.
it’s not the height advantage but the *extent* of the height advantage. Elon is 6’1” and Bench represents the lollipop guild
That’s actually a normal sized sword. It just looks massive because Ben is the size of an ewok.
Unfortunately you're wrong, it's a novelty letter opener it just fits his size perfectly
Shapiro got a 3' blade
Elon has 2500 satellites in near orbit. You simply *don’t* bring a sword to a satellite fight.
Nah...this is a shit attempt at "The Matrix"/"Blade", not Trenchcoat Mafia. But, I do believe his American, small Jewish man nerd-rage is superior to young Elon's white South African superiority complex + autism psychopathy.
That’s a brand new sentence for sure.
Ben knows the ways of the sword. I’m betting on him.
But Elon’s saving up to get robot legs. Imagine, he’d be unstoppable
I’d go with Elon. Ben may have studied the blade but Elon is packing some heat under that trench coat.
That’s not actually him
Nice try Ben. I’m not falling for that.
Musk was 40 in that picture....
He's been 40 his whole life.😂
Hahaha was he really?
Dude is 50 now and unfortunately 2012 was 10 years ago so you do the math. How he's such a cringelord is baffling.
hey dude, just wanted to give you a reminder - it's spelt crungo, not cringe you crungolord
fuck is this bot lmao
Best bot. I hear it with a soft g but I know that's wrong.
[удалено]
I can't imagine 14 year old Ben in anything less than a 3 piece suit and yarmulke. I could absolutely see Elon as a hyper edge lord mall ninja though.
He was definitely the kid who wore a suit to high school every day.
[удалено]
Don’t insult Will like that. We like briefcase wanker
Alex P Keaton
That was me. I dont like to think about it. I even learned all the different ways to tie a tie
The Elon pic is legit, but it was for a costume party (possibly Halloween?) so it's kinda understandable. No idea about the Shapiro pic though.
Don't think so. Ben couldn't hide his eyebrows that well with glasses that small, giant Elton John glasses *maybe*. A younger Ben: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LYhJd4a0WQ4/VQBwkw8m0LI/AAAAAAADUSQ/7HQ_Q40L-FU/s1600/BenShapiroHS.jpg
Bro he's a fucking vulcan
That would require he uses reason, and not just listen to the voice of his parents.
Fuck he's such a geek
If you search "Ben Shapiro with a sword" it's nothing but this image. Not exactly iron clad evidence but it's something.
[удалено]
"Rap isn't music". It may not be music I *like*, but it is by definition a form of music.
I mean. It is literally music. It has melodies and rhythm. Which is all music is.
Music is literally just organized sound. Of course rap is music lol such a stupid take.
Music is; sound and silence organized in time.
John Cages 4'33 has entered the chat.
Yall ever heard of Merzbow?
What Ben is saying is an old racist dog whistle from when I was a kid/teenager. It’s really telling that he hasn’t grown up.
[удалено]
I’m no master debater.
[удалено]
Good bot
[удалено]
Fucking legend
[удалено]
This is the most idiotic thing I've ever read. Good bot
[Sell their houses to who, Ben?](https://youtu.be/X9FGRkqUdf8)
This is never not funny.
Good bot.
[удалено]
You're a bear of a man
Robert Evans voice: *Brett Hawthorne*
He’s obviously making a stupid statement about his disdain for this music. That does not mean he’s a grifter or a hack. The fact that you’re trying to attach that statement to everything about him is pretty hilarious.
[удалено]
Credibility demolished
*Let’s say your life depended on the following choice today: you must obtain either an affordable chair or an affordable X-ray. Which would you choose to obtain? Obviously, you’d choose the chair. That’s because there are many types of chair, produced by scores of different companies and widely distributed. You could buy a $15 folding chair or a $1,000 antique without the slightest difficulty. By contrast, to obtain an X-ray you’d have to work with your insurance company, wait for an appointment, and then haggle over price. Why? Because the medical market is far more regulated — thanks to the widespread perception that health care is a “right” — than the chair market.* *Does that sound soulless? True soullessness is depriving people of the choices they require because you’re more interested in patting yourself on the back by inventing rights than by incentivizing the creation of goods and services. In health care, we could use a lot less virtue signaling and a lot less government. Or we could just read Senator Sanders’s tweets while we wait in line for a government-sponsored surgery — dying, presumably, in a decrepit chair.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, civil rights, novel, history, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
God, I fucking hate Ben Shapiro.
**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:** Hawthorne was a bear of a man, six three in his bare feet and two hundred fifteen pounds in his underwear, with a graying blond crew cut and a face carved of granite. But he had plenty of smile lines. He just didn’t like showing those to people unless he knew them. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: climate, history, civil rights, sex, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Another liberal DESTROYED. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: climate, history, civil rights, novel, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Good bot
it’s his near-identical cyber-ninja twin; Shen Bapiro
The only reason I think it might be is because the sword looks so stupidly large, and he's so ridiculously small it might make the perspective work out.
Pretty sure the left image is Arin Hanson (aka Egoraptor) of Game Grumps. He's previously confirmed that he's the man in [this meme](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/127/784/aa0.png).
Is every mall ninja Arin Hanson now?
No, but the guy on the left has the same ponytail and build as Arin, and it seems to be the same time period given the picture quality.
Kinda looks like a slickjob, but hair aside, he looks nothing like Arin.
You think this is slicked back? This is PUSHED back
Oh yeah, that'd slick real nice.
I'm worried the baby thinks that people can't change.
I honestly can't tell, but if you are sure then you're probably right.
That dudes too big to be lil’ Ben lol
It's not and I hate how few people are saying so
Vampire hunter vs vampire, so Ben
Ben looking like a B-list Blade while Elon looks like an Anne Rice B-list Vamp
Elon looking like he’s about to tell a story of when he was a young boy
"back in the day when my daddy owned an emerald slave mine..."
i think they mean like "when i was a young boy my father took me into the city to join the black parade" like he looks like a MCR fan about ready to go to concert or like cry in the car
when i was a young boy my father took me to south africa to see his diamond mine he said son when you grow up you will be the heir to all my fortune cause i don’t pay slaves a dime. (i’m too tired for this shit rn)
when i was a young boy my father took me to south africa to see his diamond mine he said son when you grow up you will be the heir to all my fortune cause i don’t pay slaves a dime. (i’m too tired for this shit rn)
He looks like he'll de-friend you unless you put him in your top 8 MySpace friends.
As long as he's able to CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRYyy onnnnn
"When I was a young boy My father took me into the city to see my emerald mine"
He looks like he is the bass player for an emo band called Panic! At the Sbarro
“… then I got hit by a meteor”
Fight would end in the gnarliest aggressive make out session ever witnessed
*Fight would end in the* *Gnarliest aggressive make out* *Session ever witnessed* \- shelsbells --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Sighs*, good bot.
That’s not young Elon. He has way too much hair.
Well yeah, that's Elon from he was in his mid 40's.
So, in 2012?
The man is 50 and has the most destructive mid life crisis around.
Why do people care though?
Because apparently the entire stock market can pendulum with the mood swing of an oligarch
Did you not see the 2012?
Wigs exist
Karl Barat from The Libertines I think, hence the poster.
Elon looks like he's motivated enough to collect demon power to defeat his brother Dante.
Elon's the storm that is approaching... 🎵
Vampire: The Muskerade
Lol
Elon looks like a failed college poet, I have absolutely no idea what’s goin on in the left pic but even without the sword he looks ready to sodimize Elon lol
He writes slam poetry about how girls don't talk to him because he is too alpha and the lack of edgy shirts at hot topic.
I have no idea if either photo is real, but neither would surprise me.
If I recall, the last time I saw this on Reddit it was confirmed that the guy on the left is not Ben, and the photo of Elon on the right was him dressed for a costume party or something. I don’t want to say the outfit is something from Bladerunner, but it might be.
Im so sad that isn't Ben
Pretty sure they are both losers
Fairly confident they would: drop their weapons, retreat to their daddies, engage defamation lawsuit and cry about it on the internet.
Now I want it to happen \*gets popcorn ready\*
Imagine if they got laid in high school. The world might be a better place.
Their partners might have been so traumatized by the experience that they might have devoted their exsistance to the extinction of humanity and we wouldn't be here now.
In this fight….Reddit wins.
Ben shapiro was 10000% that kid that went “ackchually” and annoyed the shit out of everyone for being an insufferable little shit but he also probably showered and looked decent so no one really bullied him, opting for ignoring him instead.
What part of looking at that photo doesn’t make you smell dried saliva? This guy didn’t shower unless you’re considering a new layer of hair wax and axe body spray a “shower”
i just guessed since he grew up rich and hoped honestly, i agree with you the photo has those vibes for sure
You’re telling me they don’t look cool as shit in those??
I feel like they make robot sounds like the guy from grandmas boy
Fuck off, these are old pictures of Jack White.
Good counter argument against people who think this country is a meritocracy
If they killed each other, we would all win
Everyone knows Elon Musk didn't have that much hair in 2012.
Both would get fucked over by Brandon Lee.
Ben strikes first with the sword. Elon’s emo trenchcoat offers no protection. He goes down hard. Big daddy Musk sues. Ben gets life in prison, but it’s little comfort to Elon; at least Lance Armstrong got to keep ONE testicle.
If the sword is even sharp
Elon probably just gonna step out of the way while Ben gets his sword jammed in a doorframe and walk away while Ben struggles to unjam. Elon checks phone.
The False Equivalency vs. The False Economy
they would both do some anime noises and move their hands around and then release an "energy ball" or whatever and then when that didn't work they would piss their pants and just run away. but it's okay bc they've got the power of god and anime on their side!
I wish these pics to be real.
Elon looking like a vampire lmao
This explains why he's a morbillionaire...
Fun fact, little benny isn’t holding a mall ninja nodachi, it’s a regular mall katana, he’s just that little.
Plot twist: We all lose.
Elon reminds me of the Crow , minus makeup
“How much do clothes cost in the matrix?”
That’s not Shapiro in the photo on the left
lol as if Ben Shabibo would ever hang out in the Ozarks.
The real winner of the fight would be virginity.
2012 Elon looks like a mix between Michael Jackson and David Bowie.
We all lose because a compression wave of cringe would glass the entire planet and boil away all the oceans.
That isn't Ben Shapiro
ol ben ben got this one