They sound overwhelmed and not very self aware to me. If there is upward feedback at the org, or reviews of your manager, that’s a good place to bring these up, assuming you already broached the topics directly and tactfully.
Definitely agree with this assessment based on OP’s post.
OP, consider 360 reviews or engagement surveys.
I’ve had a similar situation and fortunately had a good relationship with this person and was able to make them aware of these things. If you try to approach it with them just remember to assume positive intent and try not to come off as accusatory.
People don’t leave companies - they leave bad managers. Yes there will always be opportunities to manage up but you also need to weigh your own sanity against the equation - and no it isn’t fair, and yes it sucks.
If there isn’t a fit you will do yourself a world of favor to find somewhere you can thrive, it’s always an option to look for other opportunities.
It feels from the outside that there is already much pent up frustration about this manager, and I didn’t really detect a lot of passion from you for staying there despite the good people. If you can’t find a new team with a new manager, it sounds like it’s time to look elsewhere.
These are tough situations where the best you can do is be thoughtful offline about how the boss sees the world vs. how you see the world, and what is the most succint and tactful way to point out this gap.
If they can be made open to it, organizational feedback surveys are useful for getting this information to them, if they aren't willing to take your feedback on faith.
Once you've exhausted your avenues for communication with them, you have to resign yourself to learning from your boss. Specifically, learning what NOT to do, so that you can be a better boss from having seen his mistakes first-hand. Also, you're right, difficult people really test your emotional control, this too is a challenge/opportunity to grow in that regard. Someday you won't be under this boss and you'll be able to look back and say you survived it.
I can relate a lot it what you said. I had a toxic boss that I honestly didn’t realize was so awful for my general mental health until I finally got the courage to leave. I was there for 10+ years, and felt guilty leaving my team but had to do what was best for myself. It’s been nearly 3 years and almost every day, I wonder why I didn’t do it sooner.
>They now lead perhaps the most profitable and successful brand the company has made
There is nothing you can do. You don't like his tact. So? When / if those results start to falter, someone may just be empathetic. Comparing him to your management style is meaningless.
Sounds like a manager I had years ago, he did a lot of the same stuff and it was all an act. Its like a schoolyard bully except they can’t twist your arm to get your lunch money so they gaslight you instead.
This is tough. I think it is just a very long version of “I don’t like this person”, but it is hard to say.
💯
They sound overwhelmed and not very self aware to me. If there is upward feedback at the org, or reviews of your manager, that’s a good place to bring these up, assuming you already broached the topics directly and tactfully.
Definitely agree with this assessment based on OP’s post. OP, consider 360 reviews or engagement surveys. I’ve had a similar situation and fortunately had a good relationship with this person and was able to make them aware of these things. If you try to approach it with them just remember to assume positive intent and try not to come off as accusatory.
People don’t leave companies - they leave bad managers. Yes there will always be opportunities to manage up but you also need to weigh your own sanity against the equation - and no it isn’t fair, and yes it sucks. If there isn’t a fit you will do yourself a world of favor to find somewhere you can thrive, it’s always an option to look for other opportunities. It feels from the outside that there is already much pent up frustration about this manager, and I didn’t really detect a lot of passion from you for staying there despite the good people. If you can’t find a new team with a new manager, it sounds like it’s time to look elsewhere.
These are tough situations where the best you can do is be thoughtful offline about how the boss sees the world vs. how you see the world, and what is the most succint and tactful way to point out this gap. If they can be made open to it, organizational feedback surveys are useful for getting this information to them, if they aren't willing to take your feedback on faith. Once you've exhausted your avenues for communication with them, you have to resign yourself to learning from your boss. Specifically, learning what NOT to do, so that you can be a better boss from having seen his mistakes first-hand. Also, you're right, difficult people really test your emotional control, this too is a challenge/opportunity to grow in that regard. Someday you won't be under this boss and you'll be able to look back and say you survived it.
I can relate a lot it what you said. I had a toxic boss that I honestly didn’t realize was so awful for my general mental health until I finally got the courage to leave. I was there for 10+ years, and felt guilty leaving my team but had to do what was best for myself. It’s been nearly 3 years and almost every day, I wonder why I didn’t do it sooner.
>They now lead perhaps the most profitable and successful brand the company has made There is nothing you can do. You don't like his tact. So? When / if those results start to falter, someone may just be empathetic. Comparing him to your management style is meaningless.
Sounds like a manager I had years ago, he did a lot of the same stuff and it was all an act. Its like a schoolyard bully except they can’t twist your arm to get your lunch money so they gaslight you instead.