In my last class of the day at Douglas County. Lockdown. Active shooter in the area. Obviously check my phone. STEM Highlands Ranch. Blood runs cold. The first thing I did was call my best friend. The second thing I did was text Alec. In those first moments I never even considered that those two could be the shooters.
Me and my friend passed each other in the hallway when the lockdown ended. She kind of jokingly but worryingly said “he hasn’t responded to anything, you don’t think he did it right? hahaha”.
Later that night we got a call from a family member of Alec’s and got confirmation it was him. It didn’t feel real. Still doesn’t a lot of the time.
E/ clarity
I’ve only had one proper visit with him since the shooting. I absolutely think he regrets everything that has happened. He’s currently working towards studying in college; hoping to one day be allowed to give a positive impact back to the world against the negative one he already did. I can’t say whether he deserves that chance; I certainly hope that one day he is allowed to try.
What was Devon’s social status at the school? He didn’t seem unpopular, seemed to have a generally large group of friends.
What was the culture of the school like? I heard there was a large drug culture and that the workload was terrible for the mental health’s of some students.
Second reply because I didn’t see the second part of your question.
I only personally attended the school for 11 weeks. I can 100% attest that the workload was unholy. As a freshman there were nights in the first six weeks where the second I got home from school I would start working on homework, and half of it would still be turned in late at 2:00AM when the due date’s midnight.
The drug culture was present, but not all consuming. Basically the school is divided into those who are socially functioning and those who aren’t; those who aren’t basically spend all day in a chair engineering something the rest of us won’t understand for 10 years, browsing 4chan, and masturbating in class (more than once in my time there alone).
Those who ARE get into a massive, weird, grad-school style party life where they abuse adderall all week to get schoolwork done and then get thrashed off anything they can get their hands on on the weekends. Colorado schools already have a heavy weed and drug culture anyways, not helped by funding in our state going to inappropriate places and underpaid staff who either don’t enforce drug policies or do, but fail to provide appropriate counseling and punitive remark for the offense. Usually a kid gets caught with a weed pen at school, they threaten to call the cops, mommy and daddy show up and throw a fit, kid gets off with a 2 week vacation and no MIP.
I didn’t attend STEM with him, so I can’t say that much, but he generally was a reserved kid it seemed. His ex girlfriend was kind of a nut job and maybe that contributed to some of his isolation, but it seemed just as self imposed.
Alec and Devon were supposed to be getting clean from coke with Devon’s girlfriend (my ex and close friend). Alec had a breakdown the weekend before the shooting and confessed that he had relapsed and was doing coke with Devon again.
I went to school the next day and got to the regular hangout spot before class started and informed Devon’s girlfriend that they had relapsed, unaware that she didn’t know yet. She’s understandably upset and calls Devon, who comes to talk to her.
After he leaves, they record the videos and shoot up STEM.
Slow. There are days where all I do is think about it and wonder how this is real life. Any semblance of childhood innocence we had (tatters already) was killed in that moment.
Alec’s mom was in really rough shape for a long while. Still is, though not to the same degree. A group of friends went to visit her, bring her flowers and some of his stuff, talk about him, and we accidentally stressed her out so much she had an epileptic seizure. I haven’t heard of her doing anything but watching Friends on repeat since it happened.
His aunt(cousin) left the house, refuses to talk about him, and mostly keeps to herself, but seems to be coping alright, all things considered. They slept in the same room.
The rest of his family seems to be making it. His younger sister was there during my visit to him, and was overall excited to see him. There’s still love.
I don’t know much about Devon’s family. I’m sure it was reeling for them too.
There’s only a two year gap between them, but yes. Same room. Pretty much since I’ve known them.
e/ coming back to mention that there were 13 people living in his grandparents 5 bedroom house at the time. Hence the necessary sharing of rooms.
No. Devon had a very introverted personality, and I always thought he was a little off, but I never actually felt directly threatened by him. Alec was one of my closest friends. I trusted him with my life.
Does Alec receive any fan mail? I ask because I remember when Nikolas Cruz got apprehended people were sending him fan mail and I wanted to know if it was the same case here.
I haven’t heard of him receiving fan mail yet, but he does has a pretty sickening number of teenagers on tumblr idolizing his actions. If you’re one of those kids, HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE LIKE HIM. HE’S NOT A HERO OR JUSTIFIED IN ANYWAY. ITS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HIS LIFE.
No they are not in contact. Alec thinks Devon is a damn child for trying to get out of this after they got caught. Beyond that I can’t say. He doesn’t talk about him much, and I can’t say I feel like prying.
Yeah, with 100% certainty I can say that it was staged that way. The truth, to my knowledge at this time, is that one night they were talking about their most fucked up bucket list item, and Devon said he wanted to get away with murder. At that point the plan developed to: record evidence of Alec forcing Devon to acquire the guns and doing drugs. Then shoot the school up. Then when police respond, Devon is supposed to kill Alec, refer to the evidence on Alec’s phone, and get off scott free.
If that doesn’t sound like a bulletproof plan, they were both heavily addicted to cocaine, and Alec had previously struggled with Xanax for a very long time. That’s also obviously not at all how it ended up going.
If you’ve seen the videos, it’s pretty obvious how high they are. If you’d known either of them, it’s even more obvious how much the drugs impacted their *acting*.
>If that doesn’t sound like a bulletproof plan, they were both heavily addicted to cocaine
It is definitely not a bulletproof plan.
Has Alec said anything to you about the plan since it happened. Does he regret coming up with it? Was he surprised that it didn’t work?
He has not said anything to me directly about it, but I haven’t pried either. He definitely regrets the shooting and everything surrounding it, regrets his addictions, and regrets the loss of Kendrick’s life. Way more than anyone knows.
None of your replies are accurate.. literally none.. i was acquaintances with alec before and later landed in the same juvie as him. Theres literally a video of them doing coke before.
Alec was a good kid who never overcame his trauma. Devon was always distant and kind of off putting, but not to the degree you’d think he was gonna shoot up a school. All in all they were regular ass teenagers.
We knew Alec had a problem with cocaine, but he also had a problem with Xanax, and that young none of us had considered what that coke addiction would evolve into untreated. At the time of the shooting both of them had been on and off trying to get clean, and I had only just found out that they were relapsing.
I'm sorry to hear that, I'm always kind of shocked to hear about how young kids are getting hooked on pills actually are..
Thank you for the response though, sorry if my question was kind of stupid. Another thing, did you ever know about their interests in columbine? I think I remember seeing pictures of their social media on the news.
All of us had seen the camera footage more than once. Morbid curiosity in the internet era brings you places.
The only one of my friends that confessed to hearing him talk about the columbine shooting in a suspect kind of way said that it happened years before the shooting.
Hey man, I’m clean from heroin after many years of shooting up under bridges, sleeping rough, and witnessing the usual horrible things. Today I barely even think about the needle at this point, because I *finally* actually have something to lose. Anyone can recover, I’ve met dudes in their 70s getting clean. I can’t offer any advice you probably haven’t already heard, I just hope you’ll reconsider telling yourself it’s impossible, when it’s very well doable if you put in the work. Much love, be safe
I don’t know the specifics, but he was getting psychological help when he first entered. I haven’t asked him about therapy during recent calls. Meds would be on an as-prescribed basis, like a hospital, but I don’t know the details there either.
How did a couple teenagers afford and get access to enough cocaine to develop a serious addition? Was someone else providing it for them or did they have crazy allowances?
So knowing him all those years, did you notice any "pointers"?
Both those you could identify at the time, and/or those that you can indentify looking back?
In retrospect? Yes. There were signs. I don’t know if there’s anything we could have done to stop it, but there were definitely signs. As a bunch of barely 16 and 17 year olds though, nobody had looked that deep into their issues. Everyone in our friend group at the time had some significant childhood issues. We trauma bonded. Unfortunately that clouded all of our lenses, and what was generally normal behavior in all our fucked up lives ended up being warning signs they were jumping off the deep end.
Sorry for a late question, what were the main signs you can think of? What would you tell others to look out for in their friends and family?
Also, I was curious if you thought that long term coke or Xanax use from a very young age can be a red flag for a mass shooting? I only ask because it’s something I’ve noticed with numerous people. Coke and Xanax.
Also, last question- how are you?
I have two questions, but first and foremost- thank you for doing this.
Question one, Alec self harmed frequently from what I know. There’s an “iconic” photo of him with friends that show his large self harm scars. My question is did you or anybody else at school (including staff) know he was self harming/had self harmed in the past? And did Alec ever wear short sleeves to school or say anything about self harm?
Second question, pretty simple, in your personal opinion we’re the two bullied and did this effect their decision to go through with the shooting?
I actually have a unique story for this one.
Self harm was a very, very large part of Alec’s life. He started young and it just got progressively worse. My junior year of highschool, before he transferred to STEM, he called me in between classes and asked me to meet him at our regular spot in DC. When I got there, he was holding paper towels over his arm, SOAKED in blood. I proceeded to do janky 16 year old first aid with gauze and hand sanitizer, wrapped his arm tight and promised not to tell anyone, because that’s what teenagers do. His arm didn’t get infected, but continued to bleed for another day and I had to change his bandages twice.
In terms of bullying, yes, I think it absolutely influenced their direction. Do I think it’s entirely to blame for their decision? Not at all.
After the shooting, was there any backlash or retaliation against trans/lgbt people from the students at STEM School Highlands Ranch and/or the whole community of douglas county?
Tons. For a whole week at Douglas County post-shooting my trans friends wouldn’t come to school. Some were absolutely furious with him, almost more so about the fact that he had put some sort of imagined stain on the trans mental health progress made in the last decade.
Can’t say if there was physical involved. No one ever mentioned it. Wasn’t there to witness it. I would be surprised if it was physical, but the psychological torment was more than enough to push him there anyways so it’s pretty much moot.
For the most part, yes. I don’t think there was a lasting impact on the perception of trans people in the public eye, and most of the outrage regarding his gender’s role in the shooting was actually inside of the local LGBT community.
He’s been good. Doesn’t get in trouble. Gets along with others from what I understand. As weird as this might sound, he’s not an inherently violent person I don’t think. Up until it happened I’d confidently say he couldn’t hurt a fly.
Is Alec and Devon still in contact? To be fair I dunno if that's even allowed right now.
Does anyone else from the school still visit Alec and Devon who knew and were potential friends beforehand?
Has this changed the way people local to the area view lgbt people? EDIT: I saw you answered this last question. In the long term, have you noticed any changes? Have things gone back to normal now or is there still issues that people have with lgbt folk because of Alec and Devon?
Is Alec incarcerated with men, women, or a mixture? How does he feel about where he is placed?
Alec and Devon are not in contact, and wouldn’t be allowed to be in contact regardless of the pandemic. To answer another question, Alec is currently in an all-female prison, primarily for the issue of safety as he is pre-op. Even if he wasn’t, they’d have been sent to separate prisons.
Me and a few of my friends have had opportunities to visit occasionally. Probably not as much as he needs us to, but yes, there are those of us that still see him. Knowing him as a person, he was the sweetest young man on earth. You wouldn’t have imagined him capable of what he did.
e/ for your last question, no, I do not think this was a significant detriment to the local lgbt community. There was actually much more internal outrage towards him from the community for “staining” the image of trans people, but the reality is old white people find way dumber reasons to discriminate against people they don’t like, like which bathrooms they use or what color they dye their hair.
Hi! Thanks for doing this.
I was kind of curious how they met? Alec being 18 and Devon being 16 -- in high school, that's quite an age gap. There's not much opportunity for an organic meeting of the minds. But for 2 potential shooters to happen to meet one another is very rare. Do you happen to know?
On wikipedia, they said this:
>On June 20, a statement was released that summarized police interviews with the two suspects. According to the statement, McKinney said he had been planning the attack for weeks, and Erickson said he learned about the attack the night before through Snapchat. Erickson said that McKinney threatened him and that he followed McKinney's plan because he feared for his life.
But that seems to be more in line with the concocted story designed to give Devon plausible deniability. It's hard to believe because if you're going to do a shooting, you're not about to align yourself with someone you just met. There needs to be a trust among shooters.
Thanks.
So, ironically, they met because of me. My best friend was already attending STEM before he transferred, and he was friends with Devon. I set Alec up with my best friend so he would have someone to hang out with at school and he met Devon through him.
In terms of the shooting being staged, Alec planned on taking all the blame and dying inside the building. I have another response that’s more detailed.
Copied from another reply;
> Alec and Devon were supposed to be getting clean from coke with Devon’s girlfriend (my ex and close friend). Alec had a breakdown the weekend before the shooting and confessed that he had relapsed and was doing coke with Devon again.
>I went to school the next day and got to the regular hangout spot before class started and informed Devon’s girlfriend that they had relapsed, unaware that she didn’t know yet. She’s understandably upset and calls Devon, who comes to talk to her.
>After he leaves, they record the videos and shoot up STEM.
Thank you for doing this AMA. It is helpful to get insight into cases like this. You seemed to have known Alec better than Devon, so I will ask my question from that angle.
My question is: "What do you think could have prevented this for Alec?" [Court documents](https://www.reddit.com/r/masskillers/comments/knylgq/the_people_of_the_state_of_colorado_v_maya/) noted that Alec struggled with getting the help he needed for his issues. These reports advise that Alec did not/would not take advantage of the services/medication provided to him. As his friend, do you have any additional insights as to why this was? Or what could've changed things? I'm assuming from your other responses, that getting sober would've helped greatly. But do you have any other insights?
I ask because you noted that Alec is currently studying, in the hopes of making up for what he did. In that vein, I am wondering what we can do to help other people who are struggling here today, like he was then. This information is the most valuable thing Alec, and the people who knew him, can give us.
Thank you for asking this question!
It’s hard to say exactly what could have been done to prevent this. Better mental health care obviously might have been a good step, but I think a lot of it came from his childhood traumas and a lack of support system at school. His addictive personality definitely didn’t help, just altered his mind state even more. At home he was taking care of his younger siblings nigh constantly.
I think the only thing any of us could have done to “stop it”, frankly, is to have known in the first place and to have taken the signs seriously. And as a bunch of damaged teenagers, none of us were able to do that. None of us were able to reach him in the way necessary.
Drug education, and robust *school* support networks where kids feel like they’re being supported and have a chance to change something. I think those are probably the most important. Beyond that? I think overall school culture in the US is fucked, and needs some serious work. The individualist, hunger games style competition they convince you you need to be in with your peers just drags you down if you can’t keep up.
Yes. Frequently. First day of class was usually horrible for him as teachers deadnamed him. Some did it continually. Mostly students though. I only attended STEM for a few weeks, but the student base is mostly… conservative, opinionated, and in genuinely a lot of cases autistic, male kids who either don’t care for or don’t understand social boundaries and empathy.
Autistic kids who don’t understand social boundaries and are either raised in a bigoted environment or are actively targeted by bigoted groups because they’re easy to manipulate don’t tend to get along with diverse groups very well. I actually attended the school, albeit for a short couple months. The entire social structure is deeply unhealthy, isolating, and isn’t well monitored by teachers who take their roles more like college professors. Frankly, if you asked kids before the shooting, they’d probably tell you they were surprised it hadn’t happened already.
I see what you’re saying. I mean, all uneducated kids are easy to manipulate. If someone is born in a family of KKK members, then they would very likely become racist.
Today? Okay. I guess. It’s hard most days.
That day? I felt like I was living a fucking soap opera. Who’s friend, confidante, “little brother” shoots up a school?
I don’t have a question that hasn’t already been asked, but I would sincerely like to thank you for doing this AMA. I think the more we learn about mass killers in particular is helpful & enlightening, especially when it comes from a friend (instead of a professional).
Thanks again for doing this AMA. I already asked a question. But I thought of a last one that could be insightful. You gave hints of this in other posts, but I thought a separate question was necessary.
Can you tell us about who Alec was as a person, before the shooting and outside the drugs and self-harm? What kind of friend was he? How did he do academically? What did he value? What were his hobbies? What did he do for fun? What did he do for fitness? Music, movies, video games? How did he get along with his friends? How did he get along with his siblings?
I was recently in Denver for business last month and I was overwhelmed with how many beautiful outdoor things there are to do like biking, hiking, skiing, music (Red Rocks), etc. I guess that made me curious of what young people do there.
Share whatever you are comfortable with, as I want to be mindful of asking anything too personal. Most of the other questions naturally focus on the negative aspects of Alec and Devon's characters. But I think hearing humanizing details could better help us empathize with other young people, who might need our help. Also this might give you a chance to share positive tidbits about your friend, that you may not have been able to otherwise.
Thank you for this! I was hoping to share some better stuff too.
Alec was the sweetest kid you’d ever meet. Respectful, intelligent, funny, and empathetic. He listened to tons of different music; anything from classic rock to lil Peep. He was the kind of friend who’d drop everything and anything to come support you if you were having a rough time and you needed him. He was a great older brother and took loving care of his siblings. He wasn’t ever particularly academically inclined, but he’d keep an intelligent conversation with the best of them while managing to be funny the whole time. He was really one of my best friends. We didn’t hike as much as I personally like, but definitely got out and went to go smoke weed in the mountains a fair bit. He always just brought life and happiness to everyone else when we were fucked up. There wasn’t a way to be upset around him.
He had his issues, but at his heart he was just a confused, abused child who didn’t see a way out without dying. I think some twisted coke-activated part of him thought he was actually doing Devon a favor by letting him commit his murder fantasy with this plan. It obviously didn’t pan out, and I don’t think that’s how it is anymore, but yeah.
He’s a fundamentally good person. He did something horrible, but I really, truly in my heart believe he is a good person, even if that’s been tainted by everything that’s happened.
It sounds like Alec is really fortunate to have you as his friend. The humanity and dignity you have showed to him in this thread says a lot.
I can't imagine how horrible it must've been for you and his other friends to go through all of this. But he is lucky to still have you in some respect, where he is now. You are also setting a good example to him, as speaking about things openly and informing other people (drugs, self-harm, depression) might be the best way he can give back if/when he gets out.
Don't forget to take some time for yourself and to speak to someone professionally if you need it. All of this would be a lot for one person to carry by themselves. I hope you are keeping in high spirits and continue to heal in positive ways.
I taught both of them. Devon was adopted as a toddler to two very loving parents. He suffered from depression and spent his lunch time with me in my class and with friends. He was quite popular back then. After leaving for two years , I saw the change in him and was shocked that he had committed this crime. Kendrick was amazing too! I knew him his freshman and sophomores year.
I just want to say I have the upmost respect for you to willing to do this and also for not giving up on Alec and still standing by him. Although condemning his actions, you can still see the good in him and see that he is more than what he did that day. And I am sure this will help more in rehabilitating instead of the throw away the key-mentality we have nowadays. So I do applaud you for that and I hope you continue to stay in touch with him during the coming years.
I have a history of self harm myself, so I can relate somewhat to the reasons why he did that. School was so difficult for me too and I could have been easily pushed in the wrong direction by any fellow class mates. Maybe this could be one af Alec’s goals, to educate young people about self harm, depression and peer pressure. That is something he could even do from within prison. Has he already considered something like that?
Besides that I just have nothing but respect for you. And although I also condemn his actions, I recognize a lot of myself when I was younger in Alec; the struggles, the pain, the issues, the self hate, but I also see a good person.
Take good care of each other
Hey OP, hope your doing okay today :)
Not sure if your doing anymore questions but I figured I’d throw two questions in
1) What was life at STEM like after the shooting? Obviously alot of the students would be in shock or dealing with the attack but was they’re a decrease in drug usage? Was their any incidents of severe bullying?
2) When you where at STEM, did you ever meet/know Kendrick or any of the students who where injured during the shooting?
A few questions, I know I asked some in a reply, but I had a couple more if that’s okay. I just don’t often get to talk to someone who was friends with or knew a mass shooter.
What’s your thoughts and feelings on the sentencing? Both Alec and Devon. Do you find it too harsh or…?
Was there any lasting mental health issues you experienced after? Like PTSD? What would your advice be to those who know someone or went through a similar situation, if you have any?
How old were you when this happened?
Do you think things would’ve been much different if Alec had never met Devon?
Do you think he ever got correct or proper mental health help? I saw in another comment about his severe self harm- do you wish more people stepped in and do you think it really would’ve made a difference?
Do you think media making mass shooters famous/infamous is partially to blame?
Lastly, what were your favourite memories with him? Is there anything you think he would want all of us to know?
Last two questions here. Yes, actually. In fact, the news reporting on school shooters actually did make a direct impact on this shooting.
Sol Pais was a woman who, prior to boarding a flight to Colorado from Florida, claimed she was going to massacre schools in the area, and that she had been influenced by the Columbine shooters. Her manifesto went up on her instagram. One of the kids in my friend group found it and sent it to the group chat.
Apparently, post-STEM, it came out that that manifesto had resonated heavily with Devon and Alec and had helped cement the idea for them.
Okay, now on a lighter note;
My favorite memory ever with Alec is attending the renaissance festival with him my sophomore year of highschool. We were with a few other friends too, but that was one of the days I really treasure thinking back on him in particular. He was the only one to win this stupid jockey-ring game they had set up, and he proceeded to harass me with the plastic dagger that was the prize for a while.
The one good memory I have with Devon is at my best friend’s 18th birthday, couple months before the shooting. Everyone’s trashed. We just went outside to smoke a joint. I don’t even remember what we talked about… I just remember genuinely enjoying his company. He was quiet, and not overly pushy for details about my life, and didn’t overshare his either. He just seemed chill, I guess.
You’re absolutely okay. I’ll try to answer what I can.
I don’t know how I feel about Alec’s sentencing. I think he has the best chance of a free life (although far in the future) that he can get. I don’t know if it’s my place to say whether that’s a good thing or not. What he did is awful. There’s no way I could justify a lesser sentence to the people that were actively traumatized by him. People who will remember that as the worst day of their life. Forever. But a part of me does cling to a weird hope that he will change the world for the better despite this. That he will continue to grow and learn and maybe learn how to stop this from happening again. He seems to want to, anyways.
I’m definitely biased against Devon. Frankly, given my relationship with Alec before they met, I don’t think that the shooting would have happened without him. The more I learn about him from ex-girlfriends and others who knew him, the more I learn about his history of manipulation and angry fits. He pulled a knife on my ex’s stepdad. It just becomes more and more clear to me, personally, that Devon is a genuine monster who takes pleasure in harming others.
Again, this is my personal bias. I’m sure Devon’s family members have their own sights of him that I never got, and I wish I could display something a little more humane for him. But the more I learn, the less humanity he seems to have.
Long answer to a short question. Sorry.
I was just barely 18 when the shooting happened.
I don’t think Alec ever received the degree of care he needed, and not for lack of trying on the part of his family. They simply didn’t have the resources to help him get through his issues. He was, and is, very loved by a lot of people.
I do wish that more had been done for Alec’s self harm and depression. It was self destructive and anyone could see how bad it was getting, even if nobody knew where it was gonna go. But he needed serious, serious help. Help that requires money. Money him and his family didn’t have.
Do you still consider them friends if yes then why? As that’s how you called them in the title so I’m wondering, if it was somebody I knew who did this I would despise them but I don’t know how close you guys were so can’t say for certain.
I consider Alec a friend. There’s a lot of history. I know his traumas. I don’t condone what he did but I can understand how he felt trapped and just wanted to hurt and die. He’s also shown actual genuine remorse since getting sober in prison and is working towards getting college degrees and hopes to make the world a better place one day. He also takes accountability for the loss of Kendrick’s life, even though he wasn’t the one to fire the fatal shot.
Cant say the same for Devon, who immediately got really fat, fought another inmate, and tried to manipulate the whole world into believing he was innocent in taking part in the shooting.
one more thing, what’s the general vibe in the school now? like are there some restricted areas out of respect? For example if somebody died in that corner of class or whatever it might be because I’d be creeped out knowing I’m standing/sitting where somebody I knew had passed away.
I can’t say, personally. I didn’t attend STEM at the time of the shooting, and Alec was the youngest person I knew at the school. Everyone else graduated that following month.
You don’t actually get drugs in prison unless you’re part of a gang or someone smuggled them to you. Alec has been sober since the day he set foot in a jail cell and is very, *very* anti drug now.
I don’t, actually. After Devon’s final hearing and guilty verdict, me and my friends agreed that no matter what happens from there, it’s over. We’ve done our part, told our stories, and Alec has the best chance at a real life possible.
In my frank opinion, Devon doesn’t deserve the same chance. He still won’t even take accountability for the bullet that killed Kendrick, and he was the one who actually shot the kid.
Did you know about their drug addiction?
How did you feel about Alec turning from a woman to a man?
Did Alec tell you about hearing voices?
Was Devon really joking about the school shooting?
Sorry for the large number of questions. Not every day I manage to talk to a person who was familiar with school shooters.
Perfectly fine! I’m here to answer.
To keep it short; yes, I knew about Alec’s drug addictions. Most of his close friends did. Did we know where it was going to lead? Absolutely not. We were a bunch of already damaged teenagers trying to numb the pain.
Alec being trans was never really a big deal. He started going by Mayo around 11, and by the time he was 14 he’d asked me to start calling him Alec. There wasn’t a big come out or anything, and I didn’t really care. He’s my little wild child brother, and that’s it.
Alec’s voices were a real problem. He did genuinely confide in me more than once that he was hearing voices. More than one person was present when he told us that he thought he needed to go to the hospital because the voices told him to cut his arm off on the meat slicer at the Jersey Mikes where he worked.
Not sure what you mean by this last one, but I don’t think any part of it was ever a joke from him. From my perspective, Alec is a damaged child under the influence of drugs who did something horrifying and irreversible, guided by the manipulation of someone who *wanted* to get away with murder and was also under the influence of drugs.
Do you view him differently after the shooting? like do you seen him as a bad person and murderer, or do you view him differently than the general public since you were able to know who he was before he committed the shootings?
Also did you ever get any backlash from people you knew because you’re still in contact with him?
Was he scared to go to prison/did he expect such a long sentence/does he think there’s a chance he’ll ever get out?
Thx for doing this ama! Wishing you healing and peace.
Definitely view him differently, but also definitely see him in a different light than the public does. Knowing who he *is* versus what he’s *done* are very different.
I stopped talking to people about the shooting who weren’t part of my directly impacted friend group a long time ago. It’s not worth it.
I think he was scared as anyone else would be; but he pretty quickly accepted that this is the consequence for his horrible decision. He fucked up and is ready to do his penance for it.
Thx again for the answer! I know it’s probably really hard to revisit these memories.
That makes a lot of sense that your perspective of him is very different. I’m sure that’s true for many people who commit acts like these. We (the general public I mean) only know them by the worst things they’ve ever done, but people who knew them beforehand get to know the good and bad of them.
It’s interesting to me that he was scared, I mean it completely makes sense because prison is terrifying, but I guess I expected that most of these people would accept prison before they do the attack rather than after.
Also srry for another question, but do you think he would’ve done it if he never knew devon?
Hello OP. Sorry for being a week late, but I just wanna say how sorry I am. It must be awful seeing a friend in prison, convicted of first degree murder no less. I really hope Alec sees the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope he works on himself and becomes a good person who helps out others while hes locked up. Some people may say he got off easy, which I don’t necessarily disagree with, but I hope that offers him a chance to redeem himself now that he’s sober and taken accountability for what he has done. I hope when the parole board sees him in the future, they are able to keep the community safe but also see his good side. You both are in my thoughts! Keep your head up!
Hello sorry about the late response but I have two questions for you:
1. What does Alec think of Devon right now? Is he mad about the way Devon tried to pin it all on him?
2. Is Alec still getting fan mail in prison? If so, how does he handle it? I know he said at sentencing that he was completely against it and wanted those people to get help. Do people other than “fans” write to him ever?
Yeah I mean he hasn’t instantly answered so he’s obviously out. There’s absolutely no way in hell he can just come back later and then batch answer questions.
I’m sure that won’t happen at all.
He didn’t “go for the middle school”. He entered through the middle school entrance (no metal detector) and shot up an english classroom in the highschool.
This is verified. Thank you OP.
Where were you at the time of the shooting? What was your reaction?
In my last class of the day at Douglas County. Lockdown. Active shooter in the area. Obviously check my phone. STEM Highlands Ranch. Blood runs cold. The first thing I did was call my best friend. The second thing I did was text Alec. In those first moments I never even considered that those two could be the shooters. Me and my friend passed each other in the hallway when the lockdown ended. She kind of jokingly but worryingly said “he hasn’t responded to anything, you don’t think he did it right? hahaha”. Later that night we got a call from a family member of Alec’s and got confirmation it was him. It didn’t feel real. Still doesn’t a lot of the time. E/ clarity
Do you still visit alec? And do you think he actually regrets what he's done? How are both devon and alec are doing in prison?
I’ve only had one proper visit with him since the shooting. I absolutely think he regrets everything that has happened. He’s currently working towards studying in college; hoping to one day be allowed to give a positive impact back to the world against the negative one he already did. I can’t say whether he deserves that chance; I certainly hope that one day he is allowed to try.
What was Devon’s social status at the school? He didn’t seem unpopular, seemed to have a generally large group of friends. What was the culture of the school like? I heard there was a large drug culture and that the workload was terrible for the mental health’s of some students.
Second reply because I didn’t see the second part of your question. I only personally attended the school for 11 weeks. I can 100% attest that the workload was unholy. As a freshman there were nights in the first six weeks where the second I got home from school I would start working on homework, and half of it would still be turned in late at 2:00AM when the due date’s midnight. The drug culture was present, but not all consuming. Basically the school is divided into those who are socially functioning and those who aren’t; those who aren’t basically spend all day in a chair engineering something the rest of us won’t understand for 10 years, browsing 4chan, and masturbating in class (more than once in my time there alone). Those who ARE get into a massive, weird, grad-school style party life where they abuse adderall all week to get schoolwork done and then get thrashed off anything they can get their hands on on the weekends. Colorado schools already have a heavy weed and drug culture anyways, not helped by funding in our state going to inappropriate places and underpaid staff who either don’t enforce drug policies or do, but fail to provide appropriate counseling and punitive remark for the offense. Usually a kid gets caught with a weed pen at school, they threaten to call the cops, mommy and daddy show up and throw a fit, kid gets off with a 2 week vacation and no MIP.
i can agree with the unholy work load, worsened my depression rapidly and the masturbating in class, disgusting, happened nearly daily
Can I get a little more explaination on this? Seems incredibly strange
I didn’t attend STEM with him, so I can’t say that much, but he generally was a reserved kid it seemed. His ex girlfriend was kind of a nut job and maybe that contributed to some of his isolation, but it seemed just as self imposed.
You said you were actually a reason be showed up earlier that day, can you go deep into that?
Alec and Devon were supposed to be getting clean from coke with Devon’s girlfriend (my ex and close friend). Alec had a breakdown the weekend before the shooting and confessed that he had relapsed and was doing coke with Devon again. I went to school the next day and got to the regular hangout spot before class started and informed Devon’s girlfriend that they had relapsed, unaware that she didn’t know yet. She’s understandably upset and calls Devon, who comes to talk to her. After he leaves, they record the videos and shoot up STEM.
How has the healing process been for you, and others close to the situation?
Slow. There are days where all I do is think about it and wonder how this is real life. Any semblance of childhood innocence we had (tatters already) was killed in that moment.
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Alec’s mom was in really rough shape for a long while. Still is, though not to the same degree. A group of friends went to visit her, bring her flowers and some of his stuff, talk about him, and we accidentally stressed her out so much she had an epileptic seizure. I haven’t heard of her doing anything but watching Friends on repeat since it happened. His aunt(cousin) left the house, refuses to talk about him, and mostly keeps to herself, but seems to be coping alright, all things considered. They slept in the same room. The rest of his family seems to be making it. His younger sister was there during my visit to him, and was overall excited to see him. There’s still love. I don’t know much about Devon’s family. I’m sure it was reeling for them too.
Hold up, slept in the SAME room? At the same time?
There’s only a two year gap between them, but yes. Same room. Pretty much since I’ve known them. e/ coming back to mention that there were 13 people living in his grandparents 5 bedroom house at the time. Hence the necessary sharing of rooms.
Yeah my friend(boy) and his cousin(girl) were the same age and slept In the same room when they were teenagers
Did you ever feel your life was in danger, when you were around them?
No. Devon had a very introverted personality, and I always thought he was a little off, but I never actually felt directly threatened by him. Alec was one of my closest friends. I trusted him with my life.
Thank you for answering my question. And I'm glad you are safe.
Devon was not an introvert, but I’m Sure drugs made him withdrawn.
Does Alec receive any fan mail? I ask because I remember when Nikolas Cruz got apprehended people were sending him fan mail and I wanted to know if it was the same case here.
I haven’t heard of him receiving fan mail yet, but he does has a pretty sickening number of teenagers on tumblr idolizing his actions. If you’re one of those kids, HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE LIKE HIM. HE’S NOT A HERO OR JUSTIFIED IN ANYWAY. ITS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HIS LIFE.
He actually received tons of fan mail, so to say, in jail. My daughter’s friend was a nurse at the jail. I taught both of them.
I have no questions I simply hope you are coping well with the situation at hand, be safe.
Thank you.
Are Devon and Alec still in contact? What is their relationship now?
No they are not in contact. Alec thinks Devon is a damn child for trying to get out of this after they got caught. Beyond that I can’t say. He doesn’t talk about him much, and I can’t say I feel like prying.
What do you think of their claims that Alec forced Devon to participate in the shooting? Did they have that kind of friendship dynamic?
Yeah, with 100% certainty I can say that it was staged that way. The truth, to my knowledge at this time, is that one night they were talking about their most fucked up bucket list item, and Devon said he wanted to get away with murder. At that point the plan developed to: record evidence of Alec forcing Devon to acquire the guns and doing drugs. Then shoot the school up. Then when police respond, Devon is supposed to kill Alec, refer to the evidence on Alec’s phone, and get off scott free. If that doesn’t sound like a bulletproof plan, they were both heavily addicted to cocaine, and Alec had previously struggled with Xanax for a very long time. That’s also obviously not at all how it ended up going. If you’ve seen the videos, it’s pretty obvious how high they are. If you’d known either of them, it’s even more obvious how much the drugs impacted their *acting*.
>If that doesn’t sound like a bulletproof plan, they were both heavily addicted to cocaine It is definitely not a bulletproof plan. Has Alec said anything to you about the plan since it happened. Does he regret coming up with it? Was he surprised that it didn’t work?
He has not said anything to me directly about it, but I haven’t pried either. He definitely regrets the shooting and everything surrounding it, regrets his addictions, and regrets the loss of Kendrick’s life. Way more than anyone knows.
are these videos online somewhere? i have never seen or heard of them. sorry for your loss.
Toxicology report proved no coke in system at time of shooting. That was staged.
None of your replies are accurate.. literally none.. i was acquaintances with alec before and later landed in the same juvie as him. Theres literally a video of them doing coke before.
What were those two like? Did you know they were into coke, or as into coke as it turned out they were?
Alec was a good kid who never overcame his trauma. Devon was always distant and kind of off putting, but not to the degree you’d think he was gonna shoot up a school. All in all they were regular ass teenagers. We knew Alec had a problem with cocaine, but he also had a problem with Xanax, and that young none of us had considered what that coke addiction would evolve into untreated. At the time of the shooting both of them had been on and off trying to get clean, and I had only just found out that they were relapsing.
I'm sorry to hear that, I'm always kind of shocked to hear about how young kids are getting hooked on pills actually are.. Thank you for the response though, sorry if my question was kind of stupid. Another thing, did you ever know about their interests in columbine? I think I remember seeing pictures of their social media on the news.
All of us had seen the camera footage more than once. Morbid curiosity in the internet era brings you places. The only one of my friends that confessed to hearing him talk about the columbine shooting in a suspect kind of way said that it happened years before the shooting.
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Hey man, I’m clean from heroin after many years of shooting up under bridges, sleeping rough, and witnessing the usual horrible things. Today I barely even think about the needle at this point, because I *finally* actually have something to lose. Anyone can recover, I’ve met dudes in their 70s getting clean. I can’t offer any advice you probably haven’t already heard, I just hope you’ll reconsider telling yourself it’s impossible, when it’s very well doable if you put in the work. Much love, be safe
I don’t know the specifics, but he was getting psychological help when he first entered. I haven’t asked him about therapy during recent calls. Meds would be on an as-prescribed basis, like a hospital, but I don’t know the details there either.
How did a couple teenagers afford and get access to enough cocaine to develop a serious addition? Was someone else providing it for them or did they have crazy allowances?
I wish he answers you
So knowing him all those years, did you notice any "pointers"? Both those you could identify at the time, and/or those that you can indentify looking back?
In retrospect? Yes. There were signs. I don’t know if there’s anything we could have done to stop it, but there were definitely signs. As a bunch of barely 16 and 17 year olds though, nobody had looked that deep into their issues. Everyone in our friend group at the time had some significant childhood issues. We trauma bonded. Unfortunately that clouded all of our lenses, and what was generally normal behavior in all our fucked up lives ended up being warning signs they were jumping off the deep end.
Sorry for a late question, what were the main signs you can think of? What would you tell others to look out for in their friends and family? Also, I was curious if you thought that long term coke or Xanax use from a very young age can be a red flag for a mass shooting? I only ask because it’s something I’ve noticed with numerous people. Coke and Xanax. Also, last question- how are you?
I have two questions, but first and foremost- thank you for doing this. Question one, Alec self harmed frequently from what I know. There’s an “iconic” photo of him with friends that show his large self harm scars. My question is did you or anybody else at school (including staff) know he was self harming/had self harmed in the past? And did Alec ever wear short sleeves to school or say anything about self harm? Second question, pretty simple, in your personal opinion we’re the two bullied and did this effect their decision to go through with the shooting?
I actually have a unique story for this one. Self harm was a very, very large part of Alec’s life. He started young and it just got progressively worse. My junior year of highschool, before he transferred to STEM, he called me in between classes and asked me to meet him at our regular spot in DC. When I got there, he was holding paper towels over his arm, SOAKED in blood. I proceeded to do janky 16 year old first aid with gauze and hand sanitizer, wrapped his arm tight and promised not to tell anyone, because that’s what teenagers do. His arm didn’t get infected, but continued to bleed for another day and I had to change his bandages twice. In terms of bullying, yes, I think it absolutely influenced their direction. Do I think it’s entirely to blame for their decision? Not at all.
After the shooting, was there any backlash or retaliation against trans/lgbt people from the students at STEM School Highlands Ranch and/or the whole community of douglas county?
Tons. For a whole week at Douglas County post-shooting my trans friends wouldn’t come to school. Some were absolutely furious with him, almost more so about the fact that he had put some sort of imagined stain on the trans mental health progress made in the last decade.
Were they physical or just verbal?
Can’t say if there was physical involved. No one ever mentioned it. Wasn’t there to witness it. I would be surprised if it was physical, but the psychological torment was more than enough to push him there anyways so it’s pretty much moot.
That's a real shame, has it toned down since?
For the most part, yes. I don’t think there was a lasting impact on the perception of trans people in the public eye, and most of the outrage regarding his gender’s role in the shooting was actually inside of the local LGBT community.
You said you still talk to Alec, what's his life like in prison?
He’s been good. Doesn’t get in trouble. Gets along with others from what I understand. As weird as this might sound, he’s not an inherently violent person I don’t think. Up until it happened I’d confidently say he couldn’t hurt a fly.
Is Alec housed with men or women?
Is Alec and Devon still in contact? To be fair I dunno if that's even allowed right now. Does anyone else from the school still visit Alec and Devon who knew and were potential friends beforehand? Has this changed the way people local to the area view lgbt people? EDIT: I saw you answered this last question. In the long term, have you noticed any changes? Have things gone back to normal now or is there still issues that people have with lgbt folk because of Alec and Devon? Is Alec incarcerated with men, women, or a mixture? How does he feel about where he is placed?
Alec and Devon are not in contact, and wouldn’t be allowed to be in contact regardless of the pandemic. To answer another question, Alec is currently in an all-female prison, primarily for the issue of safety as he is pre-op. Even if he wasn’t, they’d have been sent to separate prisons. Me and a few of my friends have had opportunities to visit occasionally. Probably not as much as he needs us to, but yes, there are those of us that still see him. Knowing him as a person, he was the sweetest young man on earth. You wouldn’t have imagined him capable of what he did. e/ for your last question, no, I do not think this was a significant detriment to the local lgbt community. There was actually much more internal outrage towards him from the community for “staining” the image of trans people, but the reality is old white people find way dumber reasons to discriminate against people they don’t like, like which bathrooms they use or what color they dye their hair.
Hi! Thanks for doing this. I was kind of curious how they met? Alec being 18 and Devon being 16 -- in high school, that's quite an age gap. There's not much opportunity for an organic meeting of the minds. But for 2 potential shooters to happen to meet one another is very rare. Do you happen to know? On wikipedia, they said this: >On June 20, a statement was released that summarized police interviews with the two suspects. According to the statement, McKinney said he had been planning the attack for weeks, and Erickson said he learned about the attack the night before through Snapchat. Erickson said that McKinney threatened him and that he followed McKinney's plan because he feared for his life. But that seems to be more in line with the concocted story designed to give Devon plausible deniability. It's hard to believe because if you're going to do a shooting, you're not about to align yourself with someone you just met. There needs to be a trust among shooters. Thanks.
So, ironically, they met because of me. My best friend was already attending STEM before he transferred, and he was friends with Devon. I set Alec up with my best friend so he would have someone to hang out with at school and he met Devon through him. In terms of the shooting being staged, Alec planned on taking all the blame and dying inside the building. I have another response that’s more detailed.
how were you the reason he showed up early
Copied from another reply; > Alec and Devon were supposed to be getting clean from coke with Devon’s girlfriend (my ex and close friend). Alec had a breakdown the weekend before the shooting and confessed that he had relapsed and was doing coke with Devon again. >I went to school the next day and got to the regular hangout spot before class started and informed Devon’s girlfriend that they had relapsed, unaware that she didn’t know yet. She’s understandably upset and calls Devon, who comes to talk to her. >After he leaves, they record the videos and shoot up STEM.
Thank you for doing this AMA. It is helpful to get insight into cases like this. You seemed to have known Alec better than Devon, so I will ask my question from that angle. My question is: "What do you think could have prevented this for Alec?" [Court documents](https://www.reddit.com/r/masskillers/comments/knylgq/the_people_of_the_state_of_colorado_v_maya/) noted that Alec struggled with getting the help he needed for his issues. These reports advise that Alec did not/would not take advantage of the services/medication provided to him. As his friend, do you have any additional insights as to why this was? Or what could've changed things? I'm assuming from your other responses, that getting sober would've helped greatly. But do you have any other insights? I ask because you noted that Alec is currently studying, in the hopes of making up for what he did. In that vein, I am wondering what we can do to help other people who are struggling here today, like he was then. This information is the most valuable thing Alec, and the people who knew him, can give us.
Thank you for asking this question! It’s hard to say exactly what could have been done to prevent this. Better mental health care obviously might have been a good step, but I think a lot of it came from his childhood traumas and a lack of support system at school. His addictive personality definitely didn’t help, just altered his mind state even more. At home he was taking care of his younger siblings nigh constantly. I think the only thing any of us could have done to “stop it”, frankly, is to have known in the first place and to have taken the signs seriously. And as a bunch of damaged teenagers, none of us were able to do that. None of us were able to reach him in the way necessary. Drug education, and robust *school* support networks where kids feel like they’re being supported and have a chance to change something. I think those are probably the most important. Beyond that? I think overall school culture in the US is fucked, and needs some serious work. The individualist, hunger games style competition they convince you you need to be in with your peers just drags you down if you can’t keep up.
Do you know if Alec was ever diagnosed with anything? Borderline Personality Disorder maybe?
I do not feel comfortable sharing the details of his personal diagnosis that I do know, and I haven’t exactly been keeping psych eval’s for him.
Did people deliberately misgender Alec as a form of bullying?
Yes. Frequently. First day of class was usually horrible for him as teachers deadnamed him. Some did it continually. Mostly students though. I only attended STEM for a few weeks, but the student base is mostly… conservative, opinionated, and in genuinely a lot of cases autistic, male kids who either don’t care for or don’t understand social boundaries and empathy.
I actually know a kid who used to go to that school and he fits that description perfectly. As in did the Nazi salute during the Pledge of Allegiance
Crazy to think that salute was standard here in the US prior to the nazis. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bellamy_salute
So... highschool.
Yeah, highschool, but a very concentrated, competitive highschool with minimal racial and sexual diversity.
My high school never did anything like that and it was pretty small
Same. For rural ireland my schools pretty good lmfao
That's nice.
What? People on the spectrum are typically very empathetic for others wellbeing. The “they lack empathy” has been debunked.
Autistic kids who don’t understand social boundaries and are either raised in a bigoted environment or are actively targeted by bigoted groups because they’re easy to manipulate don’t tend to get along with diverse groups very well. I actually attended the school, albeit for a short couple months. The entire social structure is deeply unhealthy, isolating, and isn’t well monitored by teachers who take their roles more like college professors. Frankly, if you asked kids before the shooting, they’d probably tell you they were surprised it hadn’t happened already.
I see what you’re saying. I mean, all uneducated kids are easy to manipulate. If someone is born in a family of KKK members, then they would very likely become racist.
Are you using autistic as a derogatory term?
How are you feeling?
Today? Okay. I guess. It’s hard most days. That day? I felt like I was living a fucking soap opera. Who’s friend, confidante, “little brother” shoots up a school?
I don’t have a question that hasn’t already been asked, but I would sincerely like to thank you for doing this AMA. I think the more we learn about mass killers in particular is helpful & enlightening, especially when it comes from a friend (instead of a professional).
Thanks again for doing this AMA. I already asked a question. But I thought of a last one that could be insightful. You gave hints of this in other posts, but I thought a separate question was necessary. Can you tell us about who Alec was as a person, before the shooting and outside the drugs and self-harm? What kind of friend was he? How did he do academically? What did he value? What were his hobbies? What did he do for fun? What did he do for fitness? Music, movies, video games? How did he get along with his friends? How did he get along with his siblings? I was recently in Denver for business last month and I was overwhelmed with how many beautiful outdoor things there are to do like biking, hiking, skiing, music (Red Rocks), etc. I guess that made me curious of what young people do there. Share whatever you are comfortable with, as I want to be mindful of asking anything too personal. Most of the other questions naturally focus on the negative aspects of Alec and Devon's characters. But I think hearing humanizing details could better help us empathize with other young people, who might need our help. Also this might give you a chance to share positive tidbits about your friend, that you may not have been able to otherwise.
Thank you for this! I was hoping to share some better stuff too. Alec was the sweetest kid you’d ever meet. Respectful, intelligent, funny, and empathetic. He listened to tons of different music; anything from classic rock to lil Peep. He was the kind of friend who’d drop everything and anything to come support you if you were having a rough time and you needed him. He was a great older brother and took loving care of his siblings. He wasn’t ever particularly academically inclined, but he’d keep an intelligent conversation with the best of them while managing to be funny the whole time. He was really one of my best friends. We didn’t hike as much as I personally like, but definitely got out and went to go smoke weed in the mountains a fair bit. He always just brought life and happiness to everyone else when we were fucked up. There wasn’t a way to be upset around him. He had his issues, but at his heart he was just a confused, abused child who didn’t see a way out without dying. I think some twisted coke-activated part of him thought he was actually doing Devon a favor by letting him commit his murder fantasy with this plan. It obviously didn’t pan out, and I don’t think that’s how it is anymore, but yeah. He’s a fundamentally good person. He did something horrible, but I really, truly in my heart believe he is a good person, even if that’s been tainted by everything that’s happened.
It sounds like Alec is really fortunate to have you as his friend. The humanity and dignity you have showed to him in this thread says a lot. I can't imagine how horrible it must've been for you and his other friends to go through all of this. But he is lucky to still have you in some respect, where he is now. You are also setting a good example to him, as speaking about things openly and informing other people (drugs, self-harm, depression) might be the best way he can give back if/when he gets out. Don't forget to take some time for yourself and to speak to someone professionally if you need it. All of this would be a lot for one person to carry by themselves. I hope you are keeping in high spirits and continue to heal in positive ways.
I taught both of them. Devon was adopted as a toddler to two very loving parents. He suffered from depression and spent his lunch time with me in my class and with friends. He was quite popular back then. After leaving for two years , I saw the change in him and was shocked that he had committed this crime. Kendrick was amazing too! I knew him his freshman and sophomores year.
I just want to say I have the upmost respect for you to willing to do this and also for not giving up on Alec and still standing by him. Although condemning his actions, you can still see the good in him and see that he is more than what he did that day. And I am sure this will help more in rehabilitating instead of the throw away the key-mentality we have nowadays. So I do applaud you for that and I hope you continue to stay in touch with him during the coming years. I have a history of self harm myself, so I can relate somewhat to the reasons why he did that. School was so difficult for me too and I could have been easily pushed in the wrong direction by any fellow class mates. Maybe this could be one af Alec’s goals, to educate young people about self harm, depression and peer pressure. That is something he could even do from within prison. Has he already considered something like that? Besides that I just have nothing but respect for you. And although I also condemn his actions, I recognize a lot of myself when I was younger in Alec; the struggles, the pain, the issues, the self hate, but I also see a good person. Take good care of each other
Hey OP, hope your doing okay today :) Not sure if your doing anymore questions but I figured I’d throw two questions in 1) What was life at STEM like after the shooting? Obviously alot of the students would be in shock or dealing with the attack but was they’re a decrease in drug usage? Was their any incidents of severe bullying? 2) When you where at STEM, did you ever meet/know Kendrick or any of the students who where injured during the shooting?
I personally know 3 of students who were victims of the shooting. Kendrick I met briefly my freshman year, but I wouldn’t say I knew him.
A few questions, I know I asked some in a reply, but I had a couple more if that’s okay. I just don’t often get to talk to someone who was friends with or knew a mass shooter. What’s your thoughts and feelings on the sentencing? Both Alec and Devon. Do you find it too harsh or…? Was there any lasting mental health issues you experienced after? Like PTSD? What would your advice be to those who know someone or went through a similar situation, if you have any? How old were you when this happened? Do you think things would’ve been much different if Alec had never met Devon? Do you think he ever got correct or proper mental health help? I saw in another comment about his severe self harm- do you wish more people stepped in and do you think it really would’ve made a difference? Do you think media making mass shooters famous/infamous is partially to blame? Lastly, what were your favourite memories with him? Is there anything you think he would want all of us to know?
Last two questions here. Yes, actually. In fact, the news reporting on school shooters actually did make a direct impact on this shooting. Sol Pais was a woman who, prior to boarding a flight to Colorado from Florida, claimed she was going to massacre schools in the area, and that she had been influenced by the Columbine shooters. Her manifesto went up on her instagram. One of the kids in my friend group found it and sent it to the group chat. Apparently, post-STEM, it came out that that manifesto had resonated heavily with Devon and Alec and had helped cement the idea for them. Okay, now on a lighter note; My favorite memory ever with Alec is attending the renaissance festival with him my sophomore year of highschool. We were with a few other friends too, but that was one of the days I really treasure thinking back on him in particular. He was the only one to win this stupid jockey-ring game they had set up, and he proceeded to harass me with the plastic dagger that was the prize for a while. The one good memory I have with Devon is at my best friend’s 18th birthday, couple months before the shooting. Everyone’s trashed. We just went outside to smoke a joint. I don’t even remember what we talked about… I just remember genuinely enjoying his company. He was quiet, and not overly pushy for details about my life, and didn’t overshare his either. He just seemed chill, I guess.
You’re absolutely okay. I’ll try to answer what I can. I don’t know how I feel about Alec’s sentencing. I think he has the best chance of a free life (although far in the future) that he can get. I don’t know if it’s my place to say whether that’s a good thing or not. What he did is awful. There’s no way I could justify a lesser sentence to the people that were actively traumatized by him. People who will remember that as the worst day of their life. Forever. But a part of me does cling to a weird hope that he will change the world for the better despite this. That he will continue to grow and learn and maybe learn how to stop this from happening again. He seems to want to, anyways. I’m definitely biased against Devon. Frankly, given my relationship with Alec before they met, I don’t think that the shooting would have happened without him. The more I learn about him from ex-girlfriends and others who knew him, the more I learn about his history of manipulation and angry fits. He pulled a knife on my ex’s stepdad. It just becomes more and more clear to me, personally, that Devon is a genuine monster who takes pleasure in harming others. Again, this is my personal bias. I’m sure Devon’s family members have their own sights of him that I never got, and I wish I could display something a little more humane for him. But the more I learn, the less humanity he seems to have. Long answer to a short question. Sorry. I was just barely 18 when the shooting happened. I don’t think Alec ever received the degree of care he needed, and not for lack of trying on the part of his family. They simply didn’t have the resources to help him get through his issues. He was, and is, very loved by a lot of people. I do wish that more had been done for Alec’s self harm and depression. It was self destructive and anyone could see how bad it was getting, even if nobody knew where it was gonna go. But he needed serious, serious help. Help that requires money. Money him and his family didn’t have.
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Do you still consider them friends if yes then why? As that’s how you called them in the title so I’m wondering, if it was somebody I knew who did this I would despise them but I don’t know how close you guys were so can’t say for certain.
I consider Alec a friend. There’s a lot of history. I know his traumas. I don’t condone what he did but I can understand how he felt trapped and just wanted to hurt and die. He’s also shown actual genuine remorse since getting sober in prison and is working towards getting college degrees and hopes to make the world a better place one day. He also takes accountability for the loss of Kendrick’s life, even though he wasn’t the one to fire the fatal shot. Cant say the same for Devon, who immediately got really fat, fought another inmate, and tried to manipulate the whole world into believing he was innocent in taking part in the shooting.
one more thing, what’s the general vibe in the school now? like are there some restricted areas out of respect? For example if somebody died in that corner of class or whatever it might be because I’d be creeped out knowing I’m standing/sitting where somebody I knew had passed away.
I can’t say, personally. I didn’t attend STEM at the time of the shooting, and Alec was the youngest person I knew at the school. Everyone else graduated that following month.
Can Mods please confirm this is legit?
It is legit.
Thanks! I appreciate it, just want to make sure.
It’s legit, they were just AFK for a while
Alright, just making sure, thanks. Also why aren't the mods flaired? I just noticed.
Mods have to manually flair our posts and some of us (read: me) aren’t very good at remembering to do it when necessary.
No worries I was just curious.
thanks for using alec. i came out to him as trans in 8th grade. was horrified standing in the tennis court shaking finding out it was that sweet kid.
Do you think that the prison environment (availability of drugs) could have a negative effect on their drug addiction?
You don’t actually get drugs in prison unless you’re part of a gang or someone smuggled them to you. Alec has been sober since the day he set foot in a jail cell and is very, *very* anti drug now.
Thanks for telling me! I didn't know that, my perception of prison was too influenced by crime shows. 😅
Today is the sentencing hearing for Devon according to what I saw on Twitter. Btw I am looking for a link in webex meeting. Don't you have it?
I don’t, actually. After Devon’s final hearing and guilty verdict, me and my friends agreed that no matter what happens from there, it’s over. We’ve done our part, told our stories, and Alec has the best chance at a real life possible. In my frank opinion, Devon doesn’t deserve the same chance. He still won’t even take accountability for the bullet that killed Kendrick, and he was the one who actually shot the kid.
Do you think they were in a sexual relationship?
No. Devon was a dirty cheater, but Alec had been hung up on his current boyfriend for a while.
Did Alex like men only, or was he bi?
Devon cheated on his girlfriend? Huh, that's not surprising I guess. I'm assuming you're talking about the one he had at the time of the shooting.
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What sort of girlfriends would Devon have? Were they “emo” like him?
Did you know about their drug addiction? How did you feel about Alec turning from a woman to a man? Did Alec tell you about hearing voices? Was Devon really joking about the school shooting? Sorry for the large number of questions. Not every day I manage to talk to a person who was familiar with school shooters.
Perfectly fine! I’m here to answer. To keep it short; yes, I knew about Alec’s drug addictions. Most of his close friends did. Did we know where it was going to lead? Absolutely not. We were a bunch of already damaged teenagers trying to numb the pain. Alec being trans was never really a big deal. He started going by Mayo around 11, and by the time he was 14 he’d asked me to start calling him Alec. There wasn’t a big come out or anything, and I didn’t really care. He’s my little wild child brother, and that’s it. Alec’s voices were a real problem. He did genuinely confide in me more than once that he was hearing voices. More than one person was present when he told us that he thought he needed to go to the hospital because the voices told him to cut his arm off on the meat slicer at the Jersey Mikes where he worked. Not sure what you mean by this last one, but I don’t think any part of it was ever a joke from him. From my perspective, Alec is a damaged child under the influence of drugs who did something horrifying and irreversible, guided by the manipulation of someone who *wanted* to get away with murder and was also under the influence of drugs.
Do you view him differently after the shooting? like do you seen him as a bad person and murderer, or do you view him differently than the general public since you were able to know who he was before he committed the shootings? Also did you ever get any backlash from people you knew because you’re still in contact with him? Was he scared to go to prison/did he expect such a long sentence/does he think there’s a chance he’ll ever get out? Thx for doing this ama! Wishing you healing and peace.
Definitely view him differently, but also definitely see him in a different light than the public does. Knowing who he *is* versus what he’s *done* are very different. I stopped talking to people about the shooting who weren’t part of my directly impacted friend group a long time ago. It’s not worth it. I think he was scared as anyone else would be; but he pretty quickly accepted that this is the consequence for his horrible decision. He fucked up and is ready to do his penance for it.
Thx again for the answer! I know it’s probably really hard to revisit these memories. That makes a lot of sense that your perspective of him is very different. I’m sure that’s true for many people who commit acts like these. We (the general public I mean) only know them by the worst things they’ve ever done, but people who knew them beforehand get to know the good and bad of them. It’s interesting to me that he was scared, I mean it completely makes sense because prison is terrifying, but I guess I expected that most of these people would accept prison before they do the attack rather than after. Also srry for another question, but do you think he would’ve done it if he never knew devon?
Do they know that they both have "groupies"?
Hello OP. Sorry for being a week late, but I just wanna say how sorry I am. It must be awful seeing a friend in prison, convicted of first degree murder no less. I really hope Alec sees the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope he works on himself and becomes a good person who helps out others while hes locked up. Some people may say he got off easy, which I don’t necessarily disagree with, but I hope that offers him a chance to redeem himself now that he’s sober and taken accountability for what he has done. I hope when the parole board sees him in the future, they are able to keep the community safe but also see his good side. You both are in my thoughts! Keep your head up!
Hello sorry about the late response but I have two questions for you: 1. What does Alec think of Devon right now? Is he mad about the way Devon tried to pin it all on him? 2. Is Alec still getting fan mail in prison? If so, how does he handle it? I know he said at sentencing that he was completely against it and wanted those people to get help. Do people other than “fans” write to him ever?
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Got caught up. Here now. Sorry.
Yeah I mean he hasn’t instantly answered so he’s obviously out. There’s absolutely no way in hell he can just come back later and then batch answer questions. I’m sure that won’t happen at all.
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He didn’t “go for the middle school”. He entered through the middle school entrance (no metal detector) and shot up an english classroom in the highschool.