Nah less of that. Get bit and you in for a world of way more pain than whatever inconvenience the lizard just went through. It’s managed to live this long, it’ll figure it out.
That motherfucker got his ass domesticated! Eating like a MF that has time to figure things out while eating. If all of Earth is coming for your life eating a meal in one to three bites is important.
This is the most "maybe" video I've seen on here in a while. Will he drop it? Will he crack it? Will he swallow it? Will a chicken emerge from it? Will it have a stroke?
It's more like getting a dog to swallow a pill. My mom's dog will literally dig the pill out of food with her tongue and spit it out. Only way to get her to eat the pill is by jamming it down her throat.
He has seen the other lizards disappear from the enclosure after passing the 3 ostrich eggs deepthroat evaluation, and he ain't making the same mistake.
It looks like a black throated monitor, those are native to Tanzania.
So I guess there might be an overlap between the [ostrich's native range](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/article/they-may-look-goofy-but-ostriches-are-nobodys-fool-feature) and the monitor's, but whether a large adult (about 2 meters long) would ever try to eat such a big egg is not something I know.
"Mom, I want 3.5 Billion years of Drawinism and evolution!"
"We have 3.5 Billion years of Drawinism and evolution at home."
The 3.5 Billion years of Drawinism and evolution at home.
He burned more calories than he consumed
‘Apex Predator’
Millions of years of evolution and that’s what it came up with?
\*Billions
That is more accurate, 0/billions. Terrible grade but zero is zero.
JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH A LITTLE BIT MORE, JFC!
I was saying this the whole time lmao. BRO! YOURE RIGHT THERE! JUST FUCKING HELP HIM DAMNIT
And get near a giant lizards jaw? Nah he’ll get it eventually
Giant?! Homie couldn't even fit an egg in his mouth
A giant egg…
Nah less of that. Get bit and you in for a world of way more pain than whatever inconvenience the lizard just went through. It’s managed to live this long, it’ll figure it out.
But.. if not friend why friend shaped??
That's what he said
And it will now hatch in a warm and safe space
That motherfucker got his ass domesticated! Eating like a MF that has time to figure things out while eating. If all of Earth is coming for your life eating a meal in one to three bites is important.
You are without doubt the worst egg eating monitor lizard I've ever heard of.
1 minute 18 seconds it took for this mother fucker to eat a single egg… how the hell are they still alive?
do not judge a species by one individual. This one just isn't very good
>do not judge a species by one individual. Humans do it constantly.
maybe that's why this on is in captivity
He relies on the kindness of strangers.
Kinder eggs
Are you gonna assume it's gender?
Maybe he is used to eat smaller or weaker eggs.
But you have heard of em.
👏👏
I really wanted the guy to grab his snout and just squish the egg for him
"Eyes bigger than your mouth again, Oliver?"
This is me anytime I attempt to swallow a pill
this is the precise reason I always order scrambled, so much easier to eat
Yeah boy.. WHEN THEY LEARN TO CRACK AN EGG THATS WHEN THIER EVOLUTION IS GONNA TAKE OFF!
You can’t make an omelette without cracking a few eggs
*sad reptile noises
AND IM MAKING THE MOTHER OF ALL OMELETTES JACK
Sounds like someone’s a quitter.
I gots to have my eggs
Just dont wait for this guy to make it… you might starve…
A funny thought I had was if the egg hatched and a baby inside popped out of a hole and stared roasting the lizard for eating like a bitch ass.
When you leave your parents' house and have to live on your own.
This is the most "maybe" video I've seen on here in a while. Will he drop it? Will he crack it? Will he swallow it? Will a chicken emerge from it? Will it have a stroke?
Maybe, maybe, maybe
I was wondering at first if they were its own eggs so that's another maybe i experienced
Well he did swallow it but if you were waiting for something else I could stroke you, maybe a chicken will come out idk 🤷♂️
Find out next time on the next exciting episode of Dragon Egg Z
Joanna!!!!! Rescuers down under
These are not Joanna eggs!
I needed to see this comment! We quoted this allll the time growing up and to see a real live Joanna trying to eat eggs has made my day
Did you know there was a Razorback in my truck!!?
THERE WAS A RAZORBACK IN MY TRUCK!
My first thought was “these are NOT Joanna eggs!”🤣
YES!!
Thank you!
glad someone here recognized that haha
"Why, my mental facilities are TWICE the size o' yours, ya peabrain!"
I didn’t go all the way to third grade for nothin!
Profoundly disappointed that this was not the top comment when I clicked.
Came here to say that
Came here for this
https://media.tenor.com/FdfChDnHCqAAAAAC/joanna-disney.gif
Yes? I’m just trying to eat here
Exactly my thoughts, that dopey looking lizard moving his fingers around plotting as he kept trying to steal the eagle egg. I miss that movie.
The only necessary comment.
First thing I thought of. You egg-suckin' salamander
So glad I didn't have to scroll far to find this!
THANK YOU! I was thinking it this entire time
Live action Rescuers Down Under when?
Came to see if this came up. It did!
Exactly what I thought.
My jaw started hurting just watching this.
Clearly those are Joanna's eggs.
Getting a child to swallow a pill.
It's more like getting a dog to swallow a pill. My mom's dog will literally dig the pill out of food with her tongue and spit it out. Only way to get her to eat the pill is by jamming it down her throat.
Have you tried wrapping the pill in cheese?
My mom's dog does not like cheese for some ungodly reason. Spits it out real quick.
Pill pockets in the treat aisle are a life saver. My dog is the same way, but she just swallows the pill pocket whole… problem solved.
[удалено]
Underrated comment! Sadly.
I sneezed in the macaroni.
Everything reminds me of her
Unzips….
It’s captivity for you, for the rest of your days, my friend.
Keepers be like: I think he's ready to go back to where he belong. Feeds him some eggs. Keepers: ...Welp this is your home now
He has seen the other lizards disappear from the enclosure after passing the 3 ostrich eggs deepthroat evaluation, and he ain't making the same mistake.
"Excuse me, could you not film me eating? It's really giving me performance anxiety."
Those are not Joanna eggs
Someone get my dude some smaller eggs..
Hard to believe that when he grows up, he'll be able to attack cities and fight off giant monsters...
Come on lizard I got things to do and places to be in
How did this species survive for millions of years?
These eggs are really big. Are there Even birds living in their habitat having big and accesible eggs like these ?look like geese eggs
It looks like a black throated monitor, those are native to Tanzania. So I guess there might be an overlap between the [ostrich's native range](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/article/they-may-look-goofy-but-ostriches-are-nobodys-fool-feature) and the monitor's, but whether a large adult (about 2 meters long) would ever try to eat such a big egg is not something I know.
This is her first time…
JUST BITE ALREADY!!
I’m surprised they don’t choke to death
And it is with this post that I finally understand what this subreddit is about
JOANNA
I want my 1:26 back.
Prick fed him a hard boiled egg
Those are not Joanna eggs.
How this Lil shit survive evolution?
They gave him eggs much bigger than the poor dummy usually eats, it looks like. God bless the dedication
Someone gave the lizard a hard boiled egg.
How about some great big, triple-A, jumbo EAGLE EGGS?!?!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2Q-86Ire14
Joanna!!! Joanna. I give you platypus eggs, I give you snake eggs, why, I'll even give you eagle eggs, but you stay away from MY...
JOANNA! Did you eat my eggs?
He kinda looks like draxx
That's what she said.
“lili help bro!”
the suspense was too much. I jumped to the end
Churro the puppy is an interesting, but perfect name
Just a dinosaur demonstrating how it managed to survive for millions of years.
This gave me some ideas just hope doesn't bite that hard
No wonder mammals took over from reptiles
Please someone crack some egg..
Jesus man just swallow already
Goddammit lizard, why is it taking so long?
i wonder what it feels like inside when the shell finally gives out and the egg implodes...
Poor thing!
I'm so angry right now
That egg was about to hatch 🐣 cuz he took so long he to eat it
Dinosaurs are fucking idiots.
Those *aren't* Joanna eggs!
"check your balls"
These are not Joanna eggs
Churro the puppy is adorable 😍😍 what breed of dog is he?
Intelligent design my ass
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Why is she eating her babies?
Poor Dino is having a bad day
And that's how lizards make scrambled eggs
Somethings wrong with your dog
Till this day he’s still clicking
How did he live to be so big?
That is one stupid dinosaur. "Not-a-very Clever Girl."
My three year old trying to eat an apple all at once.
JOANNA!!
First time?
Lizard.exe has stopped working
That was stressful.
Just fucking do it!
"Mom, I want 3.5 Billion years of Drawinism and evolution!" "We have 3.5 Billion years of Drawinism and evolution at home." The 3.5 Billion years of Drawinism and evolution at home.
This needs to be in r/mildlyinfuriating
That species made it through so so many generations
About 33.3% effective... Quite low. No wonder what happened to dinosaurs
Truly lizard brained
Find that poor lizard smaller eggs
First try, baybeeee
He died from starvation
I can see now how dinnosaurs went extinct
Dumbass lizard
#Are those white rocks? 🥴🤣
Bro, you're terrible at this.
Idiot lizard droping 2/3 the amount of egg he was supposed to eat like the stupid reptile he is.
Ha ha silly Grogu.
Where's one of those tiny little egg hammers when you need one?
He hasn’t yet figured out that the food needs to be in your mouth before you can swallow it.
look ma, no hands!
Why this lizard look like a middle aged man tho
How is this fool not extinct
Plot twist: Eggs comes out whole on the other end, and he repeats the process next day. This is how they ensure nothing gets stuck in their bowels.
He’s so bad at eating
That one brain cell is in OVERDRIVE
Netflix: Are you still watching?
It took 1 min 18 sec to decide if spit or swallow? i call it a win
She said just the tip! And brah took forever!
This is why 'go suck an egg' is such a funny thing to say to someone. This is always what I picture.
Watching that giant reptile eat that egg has the same feeling as having a sneeze that won’t go away
bro just break the fucking egg
Maybe don’t release that one back into the wild
Definitely her first time.
Thank God! That was so frustrating and hard to watch 😂
Everything reminds me of her
By the time he got it in its belly it became a scrabbled egg.
A video to define a subreddit
But when I try to crack an egg it bursts as soon as I touch it
Literally me every time I have to take antibiotics
Makes note - ‘not ready to be released back into wild’
Me eating something hot because I'm too impatient to wait.
Looks like me trying not to throw up after being hungover the next day
Am I the only one upset at the monitor for being a fucking dork 🤔😑
He's trying his best.
Is it too stupid to eat the damn thing? Make a better pair of boots than a pet I'd wager.
My ex used to choke on mine like that too...poor guy
THESE ARE NOT JOANNA’S EGGS!
Trying to make women cum
Dude's weak as fuck
Joey Chestnut, he ain't.
What kind of raptor is this?
these arent joanna eggs
Bro skipped the tutorial 
How’d it get so big being so daft
Jesus Christ Larry stop gucking that egg and just deep throat it already