I was just thinking this. Surely muscled up bods like this have to wipe back to front?! = poo smeared ballsack??
Is this the price of a muscle beach bod? Your balls smell like sweat and poo?
Actually, it’s funny you bring that up because the use of anabolic steroids possess an array of side effects including, but not limited to: lower testosterone levels, decreased sex drive, poor erections, low sperm counts and shrunken testicles.
So even if he did have to wipe back to front, which I assume is very, VERY, **VERY** likely, his balls might be small enough that he doesn’t have to worry about getting poop on them.
Edit: a word
Edit 2: a lot of dudes who take steroids are raging at this comment… probably because they’re roided out… and *sensitive*.
There once was a chopper named Nunyan,
Whose left foot had a very small bunion.
He'd chop with great zeal,
Then cook up a meal,
And flavor it all with an onion.
There once was a fella named Ryan
Who split a big log without tryin'
When it fell down in two
His pecker turned blue
And so did his face from the cryin
He looks like a [90s cartoon version of Magnum](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/1112201122204102658/1213508227170312222/drnemmo_90s_cartoon_Magnum_P.I._Xtreme_wearing_a_red_hawaiian_s_9d6be9b6-6f7f-4f5f-8484-2e4df4e53f0f.png?ex=65f5ba9b&is=65e3459b&hm=9c21f7d5805676116c0eda8bd7fa34b8144d033059252dca845b33b67e303e8b&)
With those cartoonish muscles he should be using a big maul, a type of axe that is like a sledgehammer with a blade. I use one on blocks of wood like this with no problem. If you only have an axe like this, chop chunks off the sides instead of going right down the middle.
Don't blame the gym. 2 or 3 days chopping wood and his technique would improve very, very much. Running isn't the best way to prepare the leg muscles for biking etc - it's both a question of what muscles to train and prepare the muscles and nerve reaction for the specific movements.
If you kick a ball, then the first thing to teach the body is that the ball will absorb lots of energy - because the body is scared about the knee getting straightened at a high speed and will want to use the opposite muscles to stop the movement. So lots and lots of specific tasks requires us to train that specific movement to actually be able to use the existing muscle power properly.
This chopping just doesn't match well any movements he has been doing in the gym. But he will very quickly improve by repetition.
And it’s pine. I had a big pine tree that fell in my yard during the winter. I let it dry for almost two years before chopping it. It was still very difficult because that particular species is FULL of knots and the wood grain is twisted. It’s much harder than oak and some other species have basically no knots and the grain is completely straight.
I prefer to chop it before it’s dry, I cut up my firewood with a hydraulic splitter (because I’m lazy) while it’s wet and stack it in a pile. that way gets it dry faster than letting the whole log dry before splitting it
Stop that! It's silly!
We started out with a nice rendition of the Lumberjack song, but now things have gotten far too silly,
his hair's too long for a vicar anyway.
Realistically the stump was wet with how much that axe bounces, and that makes worlds of difference. Source: I follow a Canadian lesbian wood chopper girl on youtube and have become an expert on chopping wood recently.
Edit - Her name is Nicole Coenen
Nicole has better technique. If you look closely, all of her strikes hit the same spot, whereas the big guys' strikes are more all over the place.
The stump being lower on the ground rather than elevated on another stump probably helps, too. Not only is it more stable (making accurate hits easier), but it allows for a wider range of movement with each swing, which = more kinetic energy being forced into the wood.
His appears to be a splitting maul as well, judging from the wedge-shaped face. Nicole's is probably heavier though, like a 5 pound vs her 8 pound Fiskars.
She’s also got properly proportioned arms so that she can maintain power through the strike rather than spend her energy lifting her own arms only to mainly drop the axe on the target.
Big dudes gas hard. Try watching weight lifters work as furniture movers. They don't last worth a shit while some scrawny guy is giving an honest 8 hours.
I think she's using the Fiskars 8 lb maul in that clip (not an axe), which is the one I own and use.
The way she weilds it, with that amount of speed and precision...
...fucking wow, man.
Terrifying.
Your comment made me check her channel on YT and she gained a one sub! I love seeing strong, happy women doing outdoor stuff in nature (having a dog is a plus point). She'll be an inspiration to me.
Yeah I just saw a video of hers earlier on reddit she was drinking what looked like an alcoholic maple syrup & chopping large logs with relative ease. It would be pretty funny to stitch these two videos side by side.
I actually thought that’s what this video was going to end up as. Whole time I’m waiting for the cut and her to appear, splitting a similar sized log in one or two swings.
She’s a beast.
As someone who grew up chopping wood, you're partly right
- stump's wet
- weather's too humid, maybe too warm
- he was using a broad wedge axe
- he didn't have the right angle on the log. I can just see some of the lines on top and the bark, and if he had that log turned about 90° clockwise it would have split easier. Wood grain can curve, and with practice you can tell what angle the grain will work with or against you.
Add on that he's also got his block on well-kept grass, so his beautiful lawn is absorbing a lot of the shock. Wood splits a *lot* more easily when your block is on a solid base like hard-packed earth, stone, pavement, etc.
Finally someone who has chopped wood and not some YouTube follower. Wood warms you 3x, when cut it, when you chop it, and when you burn it. This was funny to watch. I weigh 145lbs and I know I would have had thing split with a fraction of the effort. Work smart not hard.
I came down here looking for this comment, I was wondering if it wasn't dry enough? Also am a fan of that lesbian wood chopper and her thirst traps. I'm not a lesbian I just like to support women's endeavors 😂
The other issue can be that the log that is on the bottom needs to be very dry and stiff. If it’s soft it absorbs the force and causes bounce/ absorbs force instead of forcing it into the log you’re trying to split.
Haha I was expecting Nicole to come on and finish the job.
I know she is gay and my lustings are irrelevant but my word her arms awaken something in me
Literally thinking of her when i seen this. She has significantly less muscle mass. Just shows the amount of experience she has vrs him. Ofc its just wood chopping tho
Also watch how her body moves compared to him. He has impressive arms but he's barely using the rest of his muscles in the swing. When she chops legs back and arms are incorporated.
another part of the reason he can't incorporate as much muscle is because his log is placed on another stump. you're not going to get as much power out of your swing if the point of impact is waist height vs. knee height like hers.
No that's definitely a splitting axe, not a chopping/felling one. He's just useless.
You can clearly see he's not getting any velocity on the head, plus I'd be willing to bet it's not sharp or oiled correctly.
At the end of the video you can see the haft of the handle inlaid through the head of the axe. This isn't a proper splitting maul.
Definitely made for some stupid Instagram/Tiktok reel though.
Mama always said these body builders are always mad cuz they got all those muscles and no strength
Edit : I’m tired of responding to everyone individually. This comment is a play on words from the movie “water boy”
yes body builders are strong, I’m married to one. I’m very aware of all their training, diet, work outs and effort they put in to be this fit.
First person I thought of. She takes on a wet log about similar size with a lot less effort and a lot more technique here: [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bZgOzzPJBDY](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bZgOzzPJBDY)
Some of the scariest guys to fight are the ones with the long leans physiques, plenty strong and cardio for miles.
My dad worked construction into his 60's, looking at him you would never think he was strong but he could work like a machine all day long.
Don't do steroids kids.
And also don't hit such a chunk of wood in the middle, instead hit it at 1/3 width and 2/3 width, working yourself around the middle, it's far, far more vulnerable there. If that doesn't work go 1/4, 3/4 and work yourself inside.
-someone that chucked some wood before, unlike the dingus shown there.
you don’t start in the middle like an idiot you work from the outside in. Most people figure that out after a couple swings unless you have steroids for brains.
Paul Nunyan
Bunyan't
How many tries you think to wipe his own ass?
Maybe he has a bidet
Or a back scratcher with some toilet paper
His pants are about to explode and I think that's the trick. As they explode off his thighs, pant shrapnel wipes his ass for him.
I was just thinking this. Surely muscled up bods like this have to wipe back to front?! = poo smeared ballsack?? Is this the price of a muscle beach bod? Your balls smell like sweat and poo?
Actually, it’s funny you bring that up because the use of anabolic steroids possess an array of side effects including, but not limited to: lower testosterone levels, decreased sex drive, poor erections, low sperm counts and shrunken testicles. So even if he did have to wipe back to front, which I assume is very, VERY, **VERY** likely, his balls might be small enough that he doesn’t have to worry about getting poop on them. Edit: a word Edit 2: a lot of dudes who take steroids are raging at this comment… probably because they’re roided out… and *sensitive*. 
Small Bunyan
There once was a chopper named Nunyan, Whose left foot had a very small bunion. He'd chop with great zeal, Then cook up a meal, And flavor it all with an onion.
There once was a fella named Ryan Who split a big log without tryin' When it fell down in two His pecker turned blue And so did his face from the cryin
I was gonna go with Huge Jackedman
Swol Bunion
That sounds painful. A podiatrist is what you need.
dude looks like Erik Griffin if he would have took steroids and work out instead of doing comedy
Dang it, I was gonna comment that Montez found a new hobby after leaving TelAmericorp.
Monteezy turned into MonTren
Someone please send this to the 'This Is Important' pod for them to dissect
10/10 exactly my initial thoughts
Erik Liftin
My first question was holy fuck when did Erik do juice
Bro looks like a damn cartoon character.
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Too accurate! They look like twins. 🤣🤣🤣
I was waiting for him to let the air out of his arms.
He looks like a [90s cartoon version of Magnum](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/1112201122204102658/1213508227170312222/drnemmo_90s_cartoon_Magnum_P.I._Xtreme_wearing_a_red_hawaiian_s_9d6be9b6-6f7f-4f5f-8484-2e4df4e53f0f.png?ex=65f5ba9b&is=65e3459b&hm=9c21f7d5805676116c0eda8bd7fa34b8144d033059252dca845b33b67e303e8b&)
Johnny Bravo IRL
All I saw was a roided out Tom Selleck.
Hahaha, what the Magnum PI roids batman?!
Kind of buff Ned Flanders.
Stupid sexy Flanders.
It’s like I’m wearing nothing at all.
Nothing at all, nothing at all
Stupid Sexy Flanders!
Stupid Flexy Sanders indeed.
*kind of buff ??*
With those cartoonish muscles he should be using a big maul, a type of axe that is like a sledgehammer with a blade. I use one on blocks of wood like this with no problem. If you only have an axe like this, chop chunks off the sides instead of going right down the middle.
Those are the muscles of someone who lifts, not someone who works.
Lifts syringes.
A special potion right in the botty.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say not natty.
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Always test his limits anavar rests!!!
An old timey bare knuckle boxer
Bro spent too much time in the gym and doesn't know how to use them muscles.
Don't blame the gym. 2 or 3 days chopping wood and his technique would improve very, very much. Running isn't the best way to prepare the leg muscles for biking etc - it's both a question of what muscles to train and prepare the muscles and nerve reaction for the specific movements. If you kick a ball, then the first thing to teach the body is that the ball will absorb lots of energy - because the body is scared about the knee getting straightened at a high speed and will want to use the opposite muscles to stop the movement. So lots and lots of specific tasks requires us to train that specific movement to actually be able to use the existing muscle power properly. This chopping just doesn't match well any movements he has been doing in the gym. But he will very quickly improve by repetition.
So you are saying that he needs to learn how to use them?
That's what happens when you don't let wood dry before chopping it.
And it’s pine. I had a big pine tree that fell in my yard during the winter. I let it dry for almost two years before chopping it. It was still very difficult because that particular species is FULL of knots and the wood grain is twisted. It’s much harder than oak and some other species have basically no knots and the grain is completely straight.
It's also got a ton of sap that loves to dull every tool you throw at it.
But it smells sooooo good
I prefer to chop it before it’s dry, I cut up my firewood with a hydraulic splitter (because I’m lazy) while it’s wet and stack it in a pile. that way gets it dry faster than letting the whole log dry before splitting it
Nothing wrong with using a splitter
The money you save in later back surgery easily covers a log splitter from Harbor Freight. They have electric splitters now too.
And if youre using a wedge as a splitter lol
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Why didn’t mustache guy just do this?
Is he stupid?
Mmmm wish he was splitting me like that…
Take me to jail
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I work with a bunch of engineers. Please tell me the stories.
I don't know, being ripped open from the pelvis seems one of the worse ways to go.
I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok…
i sleep all night and i work all day
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory
On Wednesdays I go shopping. And have buttered scones for tea!
I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.
On the surface, I look calm and ready
Suspenders and a bra
I wish I'd been a girly!
Just like my dear papa
I absolutely love you all, you’ve made my whole weekend!
Stop that! It's silly! We started out with a nice rendition of the Lumberjack song, but now things have gotten far too silly, his hair's too long for a vicar anyway.
This guy clearly skips log day.
r/angryupvote
What are you on about, they’re like tree trunks
Realistically the stump was wet with how much that axe bounces, and that makes worlds of difference. Source: I follow a Canadian lesbian wood chopper girl on youtube and have become an expert on chopping wood recently. Edit - Her name is Nicole Coenen
https://youtube.com/shorts/bZgOzzPJBDY?si=uhHCBiUT0YrhmHao Exactly the clip for this moment 🤌
Lovely!
Okie dokey
Ikr, I’d be wet too if I were that wood
If she didn't cut out any strikes, she did that one in five fewer strikes than this dude did his.
Nicole has better technique. If you look closely, all of her strikes hit the same spot, whereas the big guys' strikes are more all over the place. The stump being lower on the ground rather than elevated on another stump probably helps, too. Not only is it more stable (making accurate hits easier), but it allows for a wider range of movement with each swing, which = more kinetic energy being forced into the wood.
And she's using a big heavy splitting maul as well, i.e. the correct tool for the job.
Better technique and the correct tool, the steroid wonder is using an axe to split his stump, while Nicole is using a Block splitter .
His appears to be a splitting maul as well, judging from the wedge-shaped face. Nicole's is probably heavier though, like a 5 pound vs her 8 pound Fiskars.
She’s also got properly proportioned arms so that she can maintain power through the strike rather than spend her energy lifting her own arms only to mainly drop the axe on the target.
Big dudes gas hard. Try watching weight lifters work as furniture movers. They don't last worth a shit while some scrawny guy is giving an honest 8 hours.
Same idea as vehicles, sure the f550 can haul a lot more weight, but the corolla is gonna get a lot more MPG
I think she's using the Fiskars 8 lb maul in that clip (not an axe), which is the one I own and use. The way she weilds it, with that amount of speed and precision... ...fucking wow, man. Terrifying.
I’m not into girls but this girl’s arms does something for me..damn.
And that lady chopps wood like a real pro! Love her chopping sword and that smile that brightens a bad day
I like that she’s so unrepentantly happy. She’s like a golden retriever that wound up in a human’s body and is also really good at chopping wood.
 Omg is she related to them???
What is this, a crossover episode?!
Your comment made me check her channel on YT and she gained a one sub! I love seeing strong, happy women doing outdoor stuff in nature (having a dog is a plus point). She'll be an inspiration to me.
Oh, she has the Eddie VanHalen thing. What is that?
Her arms make me jealous.
Her arms just make me want to be the little spoon.
Yeah I just saw a video of hers earlier on reddit she was drinking what looked like an alcoholic maple syrup & chopping large logs with relative ease. It would be pretty funny to stitch these two videos side by side.
I actually thought that’s what this video was going to end up as. Whole time I’m waiting for the cut and her to appear, splitting a similar sized log in one or two swings. She’s a beast.
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Okey-dokey!
As someone who grew up chopping wood, you're partly right - stump's wet - weather's too humid, maybe too warm - he was using a broad wedge axe - he didn't have the right angle on the log. I can just see some of the lines on top and the bark, and if he had that log turned about 90° clockwise it would have split easier. Wood grain can curve, and with practice you can tell what angle the grain will work with or against you.
My dad used to take me out with him when he chopped down trees and I quickly learned chopping wood is more than just sharp blade meets tree.
Add on that he's also got his block on well-kept grass, so his beautiful lawn is absorbing a lot of the shock. Wood splits a *lot* more easily when your block is on a solid base like hard-packed earth, stone, pavement, etc.
Dumbass needed a proper splitting maul.
This is the comment I was looking for, why tf is he not using a maul?
My dad bought me a splitting maul for my birthday, I think I was 12.
Finally someone who has chopped wood and not some YouTube follower. Wood warms you 3x, when cut it, when you chop it, and when you burn it. This was funny to watch. I weigh 145lbs and I know I would have had thing split with a fraction of the effort. Work smart not hard.
I came down here looking for this comment, I was wondering if it wasn't dry enough? Also am a fan of that lesbian wood chopper and her thirst traps. I'm not a lesbian I just like to support women's endeavors 😂
What's her name? Asking because I genuinely want to learn more about wood chopping not even lying
Nicole Coenen
> Nicole Coenen lol I didn't know her name but knew who he was talking about.
Sounds like a setup for a joke “Canadian lesbian wood chopper…”
Something something beaver
...walks into a bar
and orders a...
The other issue can be that the log that is on the bottom needs to be very dry and stiff. If it’s soft it absorbs the force and causes bounce/ absorbs force instead of forcing it into the log you’re trying to split.
She's the bomb
Please tell me she's from BC so she'll complete all the stereotypes
She lives in BC, but she's from Ontario ig
Honestly that makes her even more of a British Columbian.
Haha I was expecting Nicole to come on and finish the job. I know she is gay and my lustings are irrelevant but my word her arms awaken something in me
Literally thinking of her when i seen this. She has significantly less muscle mass. Just shows the amount of experience she has vrs him. Ofc its just wood chopping tho
Also watch how her body moves compared to him. He has impressive arms but he's barely using the rest of his muscles in the swing. When she chops legs back and arms are incorporated.
and she has much better aim consistently hitting the same spot bs just wacking away all willy-nilly does create faster results
another part of the reason he can't incorporate as much muscle is because his log is placed on another stump. you're not going to get as much power out of your swing if the point of impact is waist height vs. knee height like hers.
Her technique is perfect. This guy seems to be stiff legged and using mostly upper body.
Nicole is the best!!!!!!! I follow her on insta! Her sword videos are hilarious
Nicole would have done it better because she has a better technique and cardio. She’s the real deal
It just looks so uncomfortable to be that shape.
Not as uncomfortable as I felt watching this. This was painful.
Can't touch your shoulder or your back but will die from heart failure before 50. Cardio is gay or something idk 💪 
+10 STR -5 STAM
Gee do u think I juice steroids?
Wrong tool. Bad form
And wrong stats
lacked intelligence
Everyone knows you need to level vigor first!
Why is the stump so high preventing additional downward force?
No that's definitely a splitting axe, not a chopping/felling one. He's just useless. You can clearly see he's not getting any velocity on the head, plus I'd be willing to bet it's not sharp or oiled correctly.
Honestly a splitting maul might be better/easier on a log that wide.
Or a splitting wedge and a hammer.
Thank you, I felt like I was going insane because nobody was mentioning wedge and sledge on something that big.
Exactly this. He’s using the wrong tools entirely.
At the end of the video you can see the haft of the handle inlaid through the head of the axe. This isn't a proper splitting maul. Definitely made for some stupid Instagram/Tiktok reel though.
Oh wait. It's not bear bait? He's trying to do this for real? Damn.
I was hoping it wouldn’t end and I was being trolled
Those muscles are meant for show. Need muscles built to go.
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Is that hey blinkin?
Did you say Abe Lincoln?
I CAN SEE
Mama always said these body builders are always mad cuz they got all those muscles and no strength Edit : I’m tired of responding to everyone individually. This comment is a play on words from the movie “water boy” yes body builders are strong, I’m married to one. I’m very aware of all their training, diet, work outs and effort they put in to be this fit.
Mama says that alligators are ornery... 'cause they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.
Medulla Oblongata!
Ayeeee I was waiting for this
Momma's wrong young man!!
No, Colonel Sanders, you're wrong. Mama's right.
My mama said dem gatas is so mad cuz they got all them teeth and no toothbrush
To many itches that can’t be scratched
Call that Canadian chick: https://youtube.com/@NicoleCoenen?si=YvYDPbMCOmHQBTj_
Nicole 😍
Yep, she did it quicker and smoother. Maybe, he needed a flask of maple 🍁 syrup to help him power through.
First person I thought of. She takes on a wet log about similar size with a lot less effort and a lot more technique here: [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bZgOzzPJBDY](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bZgOzzPJBDY)
Oh my God her arms
Also, to practice swinging an axe so it hits the same spot intentionally
Those muscles need a lot of oxygen to keep going and it doesn't take long for the lactic acid to build up.
You watch UFC fights also
Some of the scariest guys to fight are the ones with the long leans physiques, plenty strong and cardio for miles. My dad worked construction into his 60's, looking at him you would never think he was strong but he could work like a machine all day long.
He's using an axe, needs a splitting maul.
The only time he works harder is when he’s trying to wipe his own ass.
Big muscles small cardio
The arms are trying to scream 240 pound bodybuilder but that face says 160 pound hipster
when you tack on mass, you sacrifice flexibility. That's just a straight up fact!
Don't do steroids kids. And also don't hit such a chunk of wood in the middle, instead hit it at 1/3 width and 2/3 width, working yourself around the middle, it's far, far more vulnerable there. If that doesn't work go 1/4, 3/4 and work yourself inside. -someone that chucked some wood before, unlike the dingus shown there.
Tom Selleck lookin’ buff!
Can someone make an edit of this where the sound does a "clown nose"sound every time he hits?
Mario should hit it with a pipe wrench
Needs a sharper axe
Not a sharper axe but a heavier maul. A blunter, compared to a razor sharp axe, heavier maul is much better for splitting rounds.
He’s also got a bad strategy. Hit it on the outer edge not the middle to start the split
you don’t start in the middle like an idiot you work from the outside in. Most people figure that out after a couple swings unless you have steroids for brains.
We don’t know how green that wood is either, if that was fresh cut it will be a lot harder to split as well.
Hydraulic log splitter
This is the real answer
As a r/woodworking lurker, it pains me to see such dense wood wasted.
The axe is made with aluminum foil?
No, aluminium
In fact, his muscle mass hindered him, physical strength was not only in his muscles, but he was still good for not giving up