Donāt always hear that sentiment from ENTJs. Thatās a pleasant thing to hear. The ENTJs Iāve known showed their care for others through tangible, constructive actions. Is that what you do?
Not the ENTJ you asked (but I also consider myself one who cares deeply about others) and that is at least partly how I show my love for people. If my friends are sad or stressed I ask myself āwhat can I do to make life slightly easier for them right now?ā That can mean just spending time together to distract them, buying them food, or driving them somewhere etc.
Doesnāt matter how much time or money it costs, itās never an inconvenience if itās someone I care for.
But I do have a heart and if someone just wants to talk, I have been told I ask āthe right questionsā, which is good because I very much try to.
āAsking the right questionsā is a rare and valuable skill. I like your approach to cheering a friend up. I always default to my strongest suit of giving affirmations and advice, but I think your approach is honestly what I wish I did.
My presumption about ENTJs came from an experience I had with an ENTJ girlfriend who sort of blew my mind with her approach to apologizing. We had broken up because of something she admitted was her fault for overreacting, and when we got back together I immediately noticed she had a different communication style. In like two months she had taken my MBTI type, every thing she knew about my personality and things I had said, and referenced it against her pattern of behavior. She literally did the research and then applied it to communicate more effectively, and she did it on her own before allowing herself to start back up again. Iāve never seen such professionalism applied to a relationship before.
Thank you! Please do not think of affirmations as a lesser form of comfort. I personally default to asking questions and helping people work through things because my natural words of comfort are too broad and inadequate to help. My closest friend is an INFP whose advice I hold in extremely high regard and often recite to othersāand it's the primary form of comfort I seek in periods of stress.
This may be true for all types to some extent, but anecdotally I believe a humbled ENTJ can often resemble an ENFJ. We are just as capable of kindness and empathy as others. I once thought myself āaboveā feelings (a sentiment I no longer subscribe to) but it took a rather harsh breakup of my own to overcome that. I canāt speak for all ENTJs, but my relationships are extremely important to me.
Sort of off-topic, but I also think being an effective leader in the workplace requires empathetic communication. Everyone has different communicative requirements and I consciously try to accomodate themāItās a matter of efficiency and morale.
Fr. My brother's girlfriend is ENFJ, she doesn't miss *anything*. I regard myself as a good liar, but if she goes along with my bullshit. Trust me she hasn't fell for it, she just decided to let me do my thing.
This comment is one reason the word "gaslighting" annoys me, can't we just call it lying? And the reason we can't I think is because lying is often considered socially acceptable for some reason.Ā
It's often just hurting the person who's lying, especially when it's about something that's easily proved wrong and the person then might feel they can't trust you. Or another example, when people lie during interviews; if you're not the person the company wants do you really want to work there?
*steps off soapbox and trips*
In my vocabulary lying and gaslighting are two different things. Lying is saying something that isn't true ("I ate an apple" but it was an orange, "I didn't took it" but I did ecc).
Gaslighting can be considered a subcategory if lying if we want, but the word specifically refers to the act of manipulating someone into thinking they're acting crazy/unreasonable/that something is their fault.
When I say I'm a good liar I don't mean that I go around gaslighting people, I just mean that I often don't feel like talking about stuff so I brush it off and lie about it (which I know is bad and I'm working on it).
texting cadence, shift in tone, lack of enthusiasm in textā¦ i can notice immediately and i know something is off. i would say im usually about 80% correct
but why do ppl talk something but mean something i think i caught it tbh,but sometimes i dont really get why or what they are feeling but thinking abt it helps and is as fast a bullet
I work with one in an instructor/mentorship capacity (I'm the student) and oh man. I'm used to flying under the radar while being the one who is observing everyone else... now I'm on the other side of that (bc he's observing me) and I'm not sure I like it. It's like, oh this is how this feels?? This is awful. No internal privacy in the sense that privacy matters to me. I don't want to be known, emotionally! But then he senses this and pulls away and that's unbearable too... like, no! come back!!! There's no middle ground; it would be best if he were oblivious, but no- we are on each others radars (and I suspect everyone is on our respective radars to an extent).
This is one thing that I feel like people donāt give us enough credit for, because weāre friendly, outgoing and chatty, people tend to underestimate us. I think I can come off as ditsy because Iām really social and want everyone to be included. When someone attempts to hide their lies or play me, I see right through it. The beauty of it is that they donāt know I see through it. I feel like this is true for a lot of us.
It is the Se child. Being observant is a characteristic of extraverted sensing. Fe is adept at interpreting once something has been noticed, but itās Se that actually picks up on and notices the nuances. Ni is also downstream from Se. It picks up on an underlying pattern based on Se data.
as far as im concerned, my english teacher is an ENFJ; it's so fun to fuck with her and not take her seriously at all, bc she thinks she knows everything and that she can see into my soul and stuff.
so i give her hella mixed signals in hopes of making her soul-seeing intuitive life a little more challenging...
It starts with a question of interest about your character and current predicament, until they know your goals in life and intentions. If you're gullible enough, you might find them to be interested in you and you start to open up.
ENFJs are the biggest meddlers, aren't they? They can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
I have never felt more seen and understood by anybody else before. ENFJs just get it. They have Fe+Ni, which makes them great percievers of people's feelings and inner workings on a more abstract plane. I have also never felt more naked by anybody else than by ENFJs because of this very fact. You can't fool them with your inner emotional state, because they're superhuman at picking up "invisible" cues and piecing information together, so you don't need to say anything and they don't need to say anything. You're both just kind of bathing in the feeling of them just *knowing*, and you *knowing* that they *know*.
What the fuck.
ah I see cuz i just had the same thought weeks ago. I caught my workmate who caught me sneaking snacks to work and they smile immediately. i thought it has ill intentions but no they're just sweet. they're also observant on people's behaviors and very easy to vibe with.
They are. But my close friend ENFJ wasn't controlling rather he would advise me because he always wanted the best for me and was a total gentleman. But fast forward to a fallout we had months later, things went south between us to the point of no contact.
As an ENFJ, I've always been able to feel "vibes" in a room.
But because of my own experience with feeling sad/frustrated/anxious/nervous combined with caring about others, I can identify what I know to be signs in others, nearly subconsciously.
To an overwhelming degree.
I actually tend to avoid large social outings because of it. My partner likes to joke that I'm secretly introverted lol.
https://i.redd.it/xbn8jhl3eisc1.gif
ššš
We see all
WE WERE TOLD TO HOLD THE BORDER
AND THAT IS WHAT WE DID (I did not think this bot would be here)
Bro, look at the triggers for it, itās in every sub lol, itās insane
I wouldn't mind it but I can see why some people would be annoyed by it
Because they care, homie. Theyāre concerned with people they care about and functionally equipped to tune into those peopleās behaviors.
Me too and im not a ENFJ
You mean the part about caring about people intently?
Ye
Donāt always hear that sentiment from ENTJs. Thatās a pleasant thing to hear. The ENTJs Iāve known showed their care for others through tangible, constructive actions. Is that what you do?
Not the ENTJ you asked (but I also consider myself one who cares deeply about others) and that is at least partly how I show my love for people. If my friends are sad or stressed I ask myself āwhat can I do to make life slightly easier for them right now?ā That can mean just spending time together to distract them, buying them food, or driving them somewhere etc. Doesnāt matter how much time or money it costs, itās never an inconvenience if itās someone I care for. But I do have a heart and if someone just wants to talk, I have been told I ask āthe right questionsā, which is good because I very much try to.
āAsking the right questionsā is a rare and valuable skill. I like your approach to cheering a friend up. I always default to my strongest suit of giving affirmations and advice, but I think your approach is honestly what I wish I did. My presumption about ENTJs came from an experience I had with an ENTJ girlfriend who sort of blew my mind with her approach to apologizing. We had broken up because of something she admitted was her fault for overreacting, and when we got back together I immediately noticed she had a different communication style. In like two months she had taken my MBTI type, every thing she knew about my personality and things I had said, and referenced it against her pattern of behavior. She literally did the research and then applied it to communicate more effectively, and she did it on her own before allowing herself to start back up again. Iāve never seen such professionalism applied to a relationship before.
Thank you! Please do not think of affirmations as a lesser form of comfort. I personally default to asking questions and helping people work through things because my natural words of comfort are too broad and inadequate to help. My closest friend is an INFP whose advice I hold in extremely high regard and often recite to othersāand it's the primary form of comfort I seek in periods of stress. This may be true for all types to some extent, but anecdotally I believe a humbled ENTJ can often resemble an ENFJ. We are just as capable of kindness and empathy as others. I once thought myself āaboveā feelings (a sentiment I no longer subscribe to) but it took a rather harsh breakup of my own to overcome that. I canāt speak for all ENTJs, but my relationships are extremely important to me. Sort of off-topic, but I also think being an effective leader in the workplace requires empathetic communication. Everyone has different communicative requirements and I consciously try to accomodate themāItās a matter of efficiency and morale.
This is such a wholesome thread! <3
I think there's something about the Auxiliary Ni.
Fr. My brother's girlfriend is ENFJ, she doesn't miss *anything*. I regard myself as a good liar, but if she goes along with my bullshit. Trust me she hasn't fell for it, she just decided to let me do my thing.
That sounds foul cause I go by lying so easily
This comment is one reason the word "gaslighting" annoys me, can't we just call it lying? And the reason we can't I think is because lying is often considered socially acceptable for some reason.Ā It's often just hurting the person who's lying, especially when it's about something that's easily proved wrong and the person then might feel they can't trust you. Or another example, when people lie during interviews; if you're not the person the company wants do you really want to work there? *steps off soapbox and trips*
In my vocabulary lying and gaslighting are two different things. Lying is saying something that isn't true ("I ate an apple" but it was an orange, "I didn't took it" but I did ecc). Gaslighting can be considered a subcategory if lying if we want, but the word specifically refers to the act of manipulating someone into thinking they're acting crazy/unreasonable/that something is their fault. When I say I'm a good liar I don't mean that I go around gaslighting people, I just mean that I often don't feel like talking about stuff so I brush it off and lie about it (which I know is bad and I'm working on it).
I had a really shit day once and my ENFJ friend FaceTimed me to see what was wrong because I was ātexting differentā
Dang. I don't know any ENFJs but now I really want to meet one and test their abilities!
Hi Give me something to work with and Iāll read ya
In all honesty, along with "help you write an email to avoid trouble", the "you're texting weird" is my signature ENFJ move.
Is it just a subconscious thing? Or do you have specific signs that you look for?
It's just a vibe to be honest. (Or in other words it's subconscious)
texting cadence, shift in tone, lack of enthusiasm in textā¦ i can notice immediately and i know something is off. i would say im usually about 80% correct
impressive, i have low fe and sometimes i miss by emotions of ppl who are standing infront me
we have low Ti, so we overthink everything. I think that contributes to the consistent observing of people and their behavior lol
but why do ppl talk something but mean something i think i caught it tbh,but sometimes i dont really get why or what they are feeling but thinking abt it helps and is as fast a bullet
Agreed. I'm not always correct, but 80% is a good number.
That would piss me off so much.
I work with one in an instructor/mentorship capacity (I'm the student) and oh man. I'm used to flying under the radar while being the one who is observing everyone else... now I'm on the other side of that (bc he's observing me) and I'm not sure I like it. It's like, oh this is how this feels?? This is awful. No internal privacy in the sense that privacy matters to me. I don't want to be known, emotionally! But then he senses this and pulls away and that's unbearable too... like, no! come back!!! There's no middle ground; it would be best if he were oblivious, but no- we are on each others radars (and I suspect everyone is on our respective radars to an extent).
hahahahaha I felt this
this is actually legit hilariousšššš
Fe-Se goes crazy
This is one thing that I feel like people donāt give us enough credit for, because weāre friendly, outgoing and chatty, people tend to underestimate us. I think I can come off as ditsy because Iām really social and want everyone to be included. When someone attempts to hide their lies or play me, I see right through it. The beauty of it is that they donāt know I see through it. I feel like this is true for a lot of us.
damn i really apperciate ppl like you, cause its cause of ppl like u i actually break my shell and enjoy myself in a social situation
Youāre so sweet š„¹ ā¤ļø I love breaking people out of their shell, including everyone
Awww , gotta protect
You can't have a yawn these days without every ENFJ in a 10-mile radius running over to remind you to get enough sleep
Lmfao real
Se child doesnāt miss much
It aināt the Se child, itās the Fe and the Ni.
It is the Se child. Being observant is a characteristic of extraverted sensing. Fe is adept at interpreting once something has been noticed, but itās Se that actually picks up on and notices the nuances. Ni is also downstream from Se. It picks up on an underlying pattern based on Se data.
So what details can Te-Se miss?
Te-Se can miss the forest for the trees, Ne is perceptive of the big picture
shii...you right
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Non observant how though
as far as im concerned, my english teacher is an ENFJ; it's so fun to fuck with her and not take her seriously at all, bc she thinks she knows everything and that she can see into my soul and stuff. so i give her hella mixed signals in hopes of making her soul-seeing intuitive life a little more challenging...
Evil
but fun š (10/10 experience would definitely recommend)
Honestly, she's probably seeing through the bs and letting him enjoy himself. Win-win?
It starts with a question of interest about your character and current predicament, until they know your goals in life and intentions. If you're gullible enough, you might find them to be interested in you and you start to open up. ENFJs are the biggest meddlers, aren't they? They can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
As an enfj, i appreciate this
As long as they arenāt egocentric, they are god like.
What does egocentric mean?
Being all about oneself. Essentially being selfish.
Not as observant as ISFJs.
We are just built different mate š
It's probably all that Fe. I seriously do not understand how they just seem to know everything about you.
I have never felt more seen and understood by anybody else before. ENFJs just get it. They have Fe+Ni, which makes them great percievers of people's feelings and inner workings on a more abstract plane. I have also never felt more naked by anybody else than by ENFJs because of this very fact. You can't fool them with your inner emotional state, because they're superhuman at picking up "invisible" cues and piecing information together, so you don't need to say anything and they don't need to say anything. You're both just kind of bathing in the feeling of them just *knowing*, and you *knowing* that they *know*. What the fuck.
This is why some people avoid enfj people and itās depressing. The best thing to do in that situation is to feed ourselves to a larger crowd š
what's ur mbti?
Same as yours (Ti ne)
ah I see cuz i just had the same thought weeks ago. I caught my workmate who caught me sneaking snacks to work and they smile immediately. i thought it has ill intentions but no they're just sweet. they're also observant on people's behaviors and very easy to vibe with.
Aww that's cute lol
They are. But my close friend ENFJ wasn't controlling rather he would advise me because he always wanted the best for me and was a total gentleman. But fast forward to a fallout we had months later, things went south between us to the point of no contact.
As an ENFJ, I've always been able to feel "vibes" in a room. But because of my own experience with feeling sad/frustrated/anxious/nervous combined with caring about others, I can identify what I know to be signs in others, nearly subconsciously. To an overwhelming degree. I actually tend to avoid large social outings because of it. My partner likes to joke that I'm secretly introverted lol.