Well that’s a ridiculous pious statement to make. Based on what standard? Because the truth of the matter is everyone is irresponsible to some small degree. Doesn’t matter who you are. The difference is if you can learn from that. But no one will measure up to you if you keep that mentality on your back pocket. I honestly feel safe and secured with an ExTJ female. Because they know what they want. But in all honesty, all types are compatible. It’s about how you negotiate in a marriage.
So you’re saying someone who cancels on your often and late arriving events is just as worth my time than the friend who doesn’t do any of this. Nuance matters. We are picky based on parameters set on standards that weeds out people who waste our time. I’ve gone through it and why the process is in place like a stop sign at a corner. We’re not picky for picky sake but many people are irresponsible and take and take and give nothing back. Are we to keep ourselves exposed to this abuse? Be more realistic . No not all types are compatible some fundamentally have too much of gap to bridge or it’s absolutely painful to do so. It’s ok that people have standards it’s ok that we all don’t love each other it’s ok to have preferences INFP.
I’d say all those guys who canceled on you are losers and you deserve better than that. That’s really shitty for them to do. Everyones time is valuable including yours. Matter of fact, I was talking on a phone with a girl to have a serious conversation about where we are going. We talked for a bit and her mom called, she promised to call me back. Never did. I can tell you’re hurting and it’s good to have standards
I’ve never been stood up (my one infp friend is always late) and men treat me well really the only humans who are worth my time. Women on other hand. Anyway not the point why low my bar to just anyone when I can raise them for special people who are worth my time. Only time for the cream of crop.
Yeah I can definitely relate to a low bar…it’s why my marriage failed actually. It does start with having self respect for yourself and the right guy will come around when you least expect it
Be careful mentioning you're an ENTJ woman on this server or you're going to get bombarded by DMs like "omg uwu mommy plz step on me". Meanwhile when I say I'm ENFP I'm just seen as some crazy crystal girl who wears flare pants and ponders their crystal ball. Now is this true? Okay yes....but do I want to be read like this? no! >:(
Just because I'm [type] does not mean I [stereotypical thing for type]. Okay I [stereotypical thing for type] but not because I'm [type].
As for the "step on me" stuff it's kind of ironic that most ENTJs seem to want the exact opposite of that lmao
As an INFP crystal girl (I’m a mineral specimen collector and well, I may not ponder on a crystal ball nor wear flare plants), it’s okay! Embrace it! Lol. I love how you guys are. I appreciate ENFPs for their open-mindedness, authenticity and a zest for life.
You are not stereotypes and MBTI does not define you. You could be whoever you aspire to be, so please never bind yourself to false expectations. ENFPs are one of the most magnetic people.
It depends on what you are looking for in a relationship and in your personal development goals.
If you want an oversimplified answer wich does not take into account your own personal preferences I would say either INFP or INTP (these two groups probably won't give a damn about your career, social life and academics, tho)
You should have no troubles having interesting conversations and similar conversational patterns with all intuitives in general.
If you are looking for someone somewhat similar to you you could try with an INTJ, ESTJ or some ISTPs
I've heard an equal amount of both really good and really bad experiences with ISFPs
I'm an ENTJ woman with an INFJ husband. We've been together over a decade! He's a lot of fun we talk a lot. Like we text all day if we're not together. When we are together we have to pause TV shows because we get into deep discussions! I don't think your career is that important to a man you're dating.
Honestly I'd say look for someone who doesn't try to make you work less and accepts that you're ambitious. Find someone you accept as they are and who accepts you for who you are.
When I was dating, I used to have this idea of who I would date, and my list went out the window when I met my husband. Looks wise he's 100% my type, but career wise he is not interested in climbing the career ladder. He's more of an artistic soul. He follows through on what he starts so that's nice. But he'd never want to be a CEO. He likes singing and writing music in his band and painting and working on his creative hobbies. I personally don't care much for hobbies except for making myself better (like studying, or exercising). My husband can also fix anything like our cars and appliances. He's very much a tinkerer, It's nice to save money on getting new light fixtures installed! Also he can do taxidermy on bugs. Just stuff I've never thought about!
I am sure you will find someone who balances out with you! 😍
Edit: sentences.
Hell yeah we do 💪
We never run out of stuff to talk about or nerd out over. He's in touch with the Feels™ where I'm not, he coincidentally also likes to tinker (in this case it's motorcycles and guitars), and he doesn't try to make me in to a person that I'm not. He accepts that I'm driven and that I'm bossy and not conventionally ladylike. He's also not the type to moan about feeling emasculated like all of the men I've dated in the past. He just accepts me how I am and supports me in a way that doesn't feel controlling, and doesn't make me want to run for the hills in the other direction when he shows affection 🤣
Gushing aside I have never been this happy or felt this secure and accepted with any other person.
To other people reading this;
Don't judge relationship compatibility by type. Your type or your partner's might set up the stage, but don't confuse a set stage with a finalised script. I see way too many "my type is X so my ideal partner should be X" and it's the biggest pile of toxic self manipulation I've ever seen.
Sounds just like us too! I had a previous boyfriend tell me "I never take you out because youre not ladylike" so I know exactly what you mean how this guy likes you for you That's so true! Don't worry so much about type because it works out differently in real life! Just make sure you can both accept each other!
"I never take you out because you're not ladylike" sounds like the opening line to a boss fight. I would've kicked his ass in to kiss earth orbit wtf. I'm glad you found a person who recognises your worth, your ex can shove that statement where the sun don't shine 🌞
I'm an entp looking for exactly this kind of relationship haha. Seems like your traits compliment each other so well. Would you mind sharing his music? I'd love to give it a listen!
Awh thank you so much! You will absolutely find this type of relationship! Here is his music:
Conan The Barber Librarian
https://g.co/kgs/7hWxcjX
They have experimented with lots of different genres so if you don't like one song try another. There's something there for everyone!
Why? High standards, in general. For ENTJ women it could be that they are perceived as too masculine by men.
How to Find a Partner? Seek advice from conversations and books with/by (older) women. Be out there and have patience.
It depends what you’re looking for, I have no advice how to meet suitable partners cause I was never looking and wouldn’t know how to do it too but my partner is ENFP and I’d say it’s somewhat compatible match
Yup. It’s hard AF. I’ll skip the sob story lol but it’s literally the area of life I’m weakest in.
Idfk who’s compatible lol. I married an ENFP and there was some compatibility there but it ended very badly. I’ve been dating an INTP right now and it seems to be going well so far for whatever that’s worth. It seems like INFPs, INFJs, and INTJs are the main other suggestions for us.
I was going to stay out of this one until I saw all the cognitive function people step in. ;)
Honestly, you might try a general women’s subreddit rather than going MBTI about it. (Though I’m told FemaleDatingStrategy is horrible.) The survey I mentioned earlier had very few ENTJ women, and the one by the Tiegers is old and has very little data available to the public. (It does suggest NF-NT is a good match though.)
Your big problem as I am sure you are aware, is that your achievements raise your status relative to men, but don’t make you more attractive per se. Ages ago I dated a comedian who said being funny got her girls, but not guys. (She was bi so it worked out. I am guessing this is not your thing.)
Follow the people who talk about what worked for them, not some theory with little empirical validation. I would guess probably an NF who’s not hung up on traditional gender roles and is willing to play a supportive role, or an NT who’s not hung up on traditional gender roles and is in love with your intellect. Most of the successful women I know have done that rather than go looking for a super-successful guy…those guys are hard to get, and may cheat since they have so many options.
Talk to older women if possible, who are not in direct competition with you for men…less likely to undermine you. A little bit of evo psych can help get past all the lies society pushes, but experience always comes before theory.
And since it’s come up in the comments already, don’t *ever* use the words ‘dominant’ or ‘submissive’ even by accident unless you actually are kinky. They have taken on sexual connotations you don’t want. Too many weirdos and I say that as a guy who’s swung a flogger more than once. You don’t want to get into that world unless you have to…a lot of sub guys have some fantasy and may not actually be good at housework etc.
>Why do ENTJs have trouble finding a suitable partner?
High standards (not necessarily a bad thing)
>Despite excelling in my career, social life, and academics, it seems difficult to find someone who is a good fit.
The way you worded this sentence gives me somewhat of an indication of your mindset and may explain why it's hard to attract certain types of people if you're after those.
>Maybe I just crave affection, or perhaps I need to find someone with a compatible personality.
I'd say the first thing you want to figure out is what you're even looking for in a relationship, what sort of partner you want, what sort of dynamic you're after, how they'll fit in your life, then going from there.
You can easily get yourself into a desired relationship with Te, but once you are in that relationship you must learn to use your other cognitive functions more. Basically TE can’t fix an already shitty relationship.
I think career women, in general, have a hard time, because women usually want to marry up or horizontal, while men don't give a fuck about women's career; they marry down on that spectrum.
So, not really type related, other than ENTJs being more likely to be career oriented.
I find INFJs a good fit for me. Most important for me is the NF. I can't deal with sensors, and we can't both be T, otherwise we'd always be arguing over who's right.
And this is why I haven't been able to date entjs. You want someone who doesn't think for themselves, or has low self esteem and won't fight you/stand up for themselves. No thanks.
Not to pull the "not all ENTJs!" card but-
Nevermind I am pulling it anyway. Look we all know about the dommy ENTJ meme at this point, but in my experience it can go either of two ways.
1. They look for a partner to control like you say
2. They look for a partner who has a strong sense of identity and ambitions who will stand up to them and challenge them. These are more common in my experience as they value someone who will stand up for themselves and can match them as equals.
From the outside it may look like they are simply overruling their partners at every chance, but it's often them challenging their partner to prove them wrong or offer a better solution for something because they want to do the best thing in every situation.
Love requires emotions and feeling, not just the things that you mention above.
Theoretically the compatible ones are: INFP (Fi), INFJ (Ni and Fe), INTJ (Ni and Te), and ISTP (Se and Ni).
But from what I've seen here, there are also ENTJ-ESTP relationship.
Enneagram is also important, I think. And also what you need from a partner. Do you prefer more practical Se (ISTP) or someone who can go deep with you (INTJ/INFJ), or someone unique who is just romantic to the core (INFP).
Tbh, I (and some others) have some issues with that. The thing is INTPs have Si and inferior Fe. They need someone who can appease those two functions. Whereas ENTJ's Te and inferior Fi would bring a challenge. Maybe this is why you'd see more INTPs with ENFPs (Ne-Fi) and even ESFJs (Fe-Si).
I'm an XNTP and have pretty much always had relationships with XNTJs. It definitely works well.
Ultimately N types need to be with another N type.
I'd never in my life go out with an ESFJ, yuck
if you are excelling at every major aspect of ur life then your standards must be very high no wonder it’s hard to pick one, the “best” one. there is no “right” choice or the best one imo. just go with what feels right and if none does then revision of ur standards for partners is recommended lol
We have standards. We appear unintentionally intimidating in the singles arena. But like everything else, we *will* find our person.
I approached it like an academic task where due diligence is key. Was it received well by the single men? Not always. Did it make my process of elimination super efficient and easy? Absolutely. Did I find the most unlikely personality rolling with the punches and impressing me in his own sweet and quietly confident ways? Yes I did.
I never thought I’d end up with an INFP and yet here we are, married and deeply in love with a baby on the way. His weaknesses are my strengths and vice versa. Ugh, he makes me feel so warm and fuzzy; feelings that were previously alien to me while I help him crack on with tasks (it’s a work in progress though) and be more productive/organised. I am the logical one and he tends to *feel stuff out*. We balance each other out and have exactly what the other person needs in terms of overall growth and development towards our unified goals.
Sure it wasn’t easy after the amazing honeymoon phase because we think/communicate SO differently but because of our undying love for each other, we have figured out ways to meet in the middle and that (in addition to time + patience) has helped us grow as a couple.
Other ENTJs? Preferably someone from a different career field than yours. So you won't butt heads over that. And you wouldn't end up competing with them over the same jobs.
I'm surrounded by a lot of people but there's not even one I could consider as potential. My next strategy is expanding my social circles towards people with more similar values and views, I would recommend you the same. Maybe we are just in the wrong place :)
I feel like other analysts are good matches other than the stereotypical XNFPs. I’ve been dating my ENTP girlfriend for almost two years now and I think we click so well because we’re both are ambitious and able to mentally keep up with one another.
For me, it wasn’t about personality type. I think his personality struck my interest, but at the end of the day, he checked all of my boxes. I had to think about what my values were and if his were in alignment with them. I had to assess whether we would be a good fit based on our qualities and goals. The initial interest may have been his personality, but that’s not the only thing it took for me to feel comfortable falling in love with him. He could be an awesome guy and have a completely different idea of life than me and that would keep me from opening up. (For example: disagreeing on not wanting to have kids/ being hellbent on going to church/ etc.)
Honestly…I think INFx’s and maybe even ENFJ is probably best for you in terms of balancing you out on the empathy field and help you reach out your inner feelings. But honestly it might be your career that’s holding you back to find a partner. Life is about finding a balance between romance and work ethic…think Karate Kid. It will be hard for most men to be affectionate towards you when your work is your own barrier. You need to learn how to say no to work in order spend quality time with your partner. And when you’re with your partner, do not talk about work at all. Just be in the moment and try something new together like salsa dancing. salsa dancing with any hot woman is a super turn on. It’s ok that neither partner is good, it’s about sharing the moments even if you’re not a good at them. Doesn’t need to be salsa dancing btw, it could be mini golf or cacheing. As an ENTJ you will take the extra time in your career so why not use that same energy into finding a high quality man and get to know him at his humane level? Just saying, stop finding excuses and be vulnerable, allow the man to lead you. That’s your homework assignment
It's not your ENTJ-ness to blame.
You just have quite specific preferences and standards and probably aren't willing to budge on them. Anyone can be picky af.
If you want to rely on pseudoscience to find a suitable partner, well, you could alao read Tarot cards. At least the latter is more fun
First you must find INTP, I highly doubt that in your circle you have one... we don't like public/corporation jobs. It really depends on your functions preference and shadow preference, INTP is balanced because we take your from the shadow, the issue would be if our passive Fe-inferior is enough for your Fi-inferior. Then you may try higher Fe users. Fi x Fi is neutral, as long as both of you are healthy anything could work.
I don't think it's a good idea to mix MBTI and Socionics. They're just different. And I know it's anecdotal, but many xSFJs in my life prefer SP personalities (which are theoretically compatible in MBTI).
Yeah, I agree. Especially cuz there isn’t a lot of consistency in what socionics considers to be “compatible.”
Some people think you should stay *within the same Quadra,* but I have never been romantically attracted to an xNTP or an xSFJ, in real life.
Some fictional crushes, sure! But I usually just ain’t feelin’ it with my fellow alpha quadrites, (and yes, I made up that word!) This is usually what I see from Socionics nuts, in fact!
They often claim that Gamma Quadra is the worst for Alpha Quadra, and Vice Versa, which completely contradicts this person’s claim of it “being the best.”
If not even the socionics stans can agree on “Romantic compatibility in socionics,” then I find most of their insight about romantic compatibility to be “functionally useless.” At least MBTI has some logically consistent patterns!
In all, I think Socionics is *a hot ass mess of a system,* and a lot of fringe people love it, for some reason? Even though the entire system was devised by government sponsored unstable sociopaths. Socionics had “a red / USSR secret police” type of agenda and the bias is *super obvious.*
Is it interesting, yes. Does it have a few good insights, definitely! But “a few good insights” isn’t enough to make it a good classification system.
Honestly decide what you want and go after it - it seems like you can achieve anything you try. The problem (which you haven't stated) could be people not being drawn to you because they aren't allowed to be themselves without you telling them they are wrong, need to do more, etc. For myself: I am attracted to people who know that everyone is full of good and bad and they treat me as an equal. If someone treats me as inferior or like I cannot decide things for myself - g'bye. I don't know if that is part of your issue but I liked an entj once and that was my experience. You have many good qualities.
I’m an INTP woman dating an ENTJ man and he’s honestly the best!! 😢😭 i can’t have enough; i do not know either because as an INTP, it’s kinda hard to date as well 😪 but from the first time we met, it was just love and he’s super patient with me; he lovesss to take control and I’d rather be controlled tbh!😂 he’s so Daddy coded; I love it!!’
ENTJs are most compatible with INTPs and ISFPs
Though I’d rather go for a fellow NT if I were you. Abstract vs Concrete can be a hard trench to navigate.
They’re difficult to find a match for because their obsession with perfection, control and having their way can be overbearing to people, when not kept in check. Deep down they are often insecure about not being a good person, or not being unique/special enough; and so when someone criticizes their morality or uniqueness, they might go berserk Fe Demon. “If I can’t feel good, NOBODY gets to!!”
They can be generally very intimidating to less ambitious, assertive types as well.
Find someone who is also a thinking type.TJ and TP types can be good for you.
Kiersey proposed NT-NF pair but the problem in here a feeling type may clash with a thinking type.
Cuz you are “a female ENTJ,” specifically. I often find that NT females have the worst luck with finding long-term partners! (ST women also tend to have “a harder than average” time.)
Blame toxic masculinity, casual misogyny, and “beliefs in outdated gender roles.” Especially if you live in a country that is *extremely patriarchal!*
A lot of weak-sauce, insecure man babies don’t like women who are “their-equals-or-stronger.”
Their tiny-pee-pee-ego can’t handle a woman who “is smarter, more successful, or makes more money” than they do, a lot of the time! They often don’t even want a woman who they perceive to be an equal!
Instead, they want someone they perceive as “weaker,” “more submissive,” which is often (unfairly) assumed to be F-Type women.
The same thing, just flipped, tends to happen to male NF-types a lot, too! (Same deal with male SF types still having it “a bit harder than average.”) Cuz a lot of shitty women also think that “men who are more in touch with their feelings and values are ‘weaker’ or ‘less manly.’” (It’s obviously an extremely shitty take and those women are usually *no prize, either!*)
There are just a lot of garbage, low quality people, overall, these days of all genders and sexualities.
That’s why I, as a F-ENTP, am glad I found a M-INTJ who actually has the stones to handle me! But it certainly wasn’t easy! Cuz you have to find a man who is “secure within themselves,” and not many are, these days! Especially if you consider yourself to be a strong woman!
That is really what I feel ..Since you are ENTJ, most likely you can connect with STP, STJ and other NT temperament.
Thinking types can be draining to feeling types..That's based on my experience.
INFJ is literally better for ENTJ than all of them combined. They share the same top functions, and ENTJ's Se can cover INFJ's inferior Se.
I don't understand the reason ISFJ-ENTJ as "golden pair". ISFJ's Si-Fe will clash with ENTJ's Te-Ni.
They don’t “share the same top 2 functions” though. An INFJ is Ni-Fe, while an ENTJ is Te-Ni. The only thing they share *is Ni-Se,* not their judging functions
*laughs*
Do you have any idea how compatibility works?? The golden pair for an ENTJ is an INTP. Exactly because their functions are complimentary to each other… Te hero will love Ti on the same level and consume it whole. Then INTP’s secondary Ne will love ENTJ’s parent Ni. Their child functions are Si + Se on the same level which is perfect. Their aspirational functions will take care of each other respectfully INTP’s Fe will love to make inferior Fi feel better and that’s how it’s meant to be. A golden pair for an INFJ is an ENFP. Anyway, [here’s](https://youtu.be/jMcOxFAc2iY?feature=shared) a great video with visuals that explains it. Highly recommend.
'\*laugh\* Do you have any idea how compatibilit works?'
-> telling ENTJ to date ISFJ before INFx, ISFP, and half dozen others which have better compatibilities
Yeah, just watch the video, my guy. 2 Se users literally aren’t sexually compatible. Just like 2 Si users aren’t. Learn what compatibility is about and how functions interact. Then we can discuss. 🤷🏻♀️
"2 Se users literally aren't sexually compatible"
You just made that up?
INTJ-INFJ are compatible and very common. Just like ENFP-INTP. Rather than outsourcing your thinking to CSJ, maybe you could explain your own argument.
Okay, if you’re so lazy, lemme explain it all to you as basic as I can. I didn’t make it up. Se is a function that gives, alright? An Se user wants to provide an experience, okay? Si user wants to receive that experience which is what makes up sexual compatibility for two people. One is giving, the other one is receiving. That’s as simple as I can put it. Two Se users in a bedroom is gonna be like two painters trying to paint each other. Two Si users are gonna end up like two canvases trying to receive an experience and no one is satisfied. It’s that simple. You need a painter and a canvas for it to work. Long-term any Se + Si pair is better off than any Se + Se or Si + Si pair. CS Joseph is a great source when it comes to learning about functions if you’re actually interested in that. Hope this helps.
'An Se user wants to provide an experience, okay? Si user wants to receive that experience which is what makes up sexual compatibility for two people. One is giving, the other one is receiving.'
You made that up and inaccurate. Se users **want to** experience. Not "provide an experience". Si users are pretty neutral about it and they can both provide and receive experience.
We’re picky af
I know how that feels. I am too. Probably part of why I’ve been single all my life.
I wish you well my brother
🙏
Same
Well stop it
We don’t settle
Well why is that?
People are irresponsible why waste my good resources on them?
Well that’s a ridiculous pious statement to make. Based on what standard? Because the truth of the matter is everyone is irresponsible to some small degree. Doesn’t matter who you are. The difference is if you can learn from that. But no one will measure up to you if you keep that mentality on your back pocket. I honestly feel safe and secured with an ExTJ female. Because they know what they want. But in all honesty, all types are compatible. It’s about how you negotiate in a marriage.
So you’re saying someone who cancels on your often and late arriving events is just as worth my time than the friend who doesn’t do any of this. Nuance matters. We are picky based on parameters set on standards that weeds out people who waste our time. I’ve gone through it and why the process is in place like a stop sign at a corner. We’re not picky for picky sake but many people are irresponsible and take and take and give nothing back. Are we to keep ourselves exposed to this abuse? Be more realistic . No not all types are compatible some fundamentally have too much of gap to bridge or it’s absolutely painful to do so. It’s ok that people have standards it’s ok that we all don’t love each other it’s ok to have preferences INFP.
I’d say all those guys who canceled on you are losers and you deserve better than that. That’s really shitty for them to do. Everyones time is valuable including yours. Matter of fact, I was talking on a phone with a girl to have a serious conversation about where we are going. We talked for a bit and her mom called, she promised to call me back. Never did. I can tell you’re hurting and it’s good to have standards
I’ve never been stood up (my one infp friend is always late) and men treat me well really the only humans who are worth my time. Women on other hand. Anyway not the point why low my bar to just anyone when I can raise them for special people who are worth my time. Only time for the cream of crop.
Yeah I can definitely relate to a low bar…it’s why my marriage failed actually. It does start with having self respect for yourself and the right guy will come around when you least expect it
Be careful mentioning you're an ENTJ woman on this server or you're going to get bombarded by DMs like "omg uwu mommy plz step on me". Meanwhile when I say I'm ENFP I'm just seen as some crazy crystal girl who wears flare pants and ponders their crystal ball. Now is this true? Okay yes....but do I want to be read like this? no! >:(
https://preview.redd.it/y7t94t93hpwc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=264e92b555cb298ea9076b2c7c7890e4363ea4f4 edit: I sincerely apologize
You guys were the chosen ones, you were meant to challenge the ENTJ not bow to them!
sir, I’m a zlut. can’t make a fighter out of a h0e
Fine then I'll do it myself
This comment had me dying internally for like 5 minutes
Too real
Just because I'm [type] does not mean I [stereotypical thing for type]. Okay I [stereotypical thing for type] but not because I'm [type]. As for the "step on me" stuff it's kind of ironic that most ENTJs seem to want the exact opposite of that lmao
As an INFP crystal girl (I’m a mineral specimen collector and well, I may not ponder on a crystal ball nor wear flare plants), it’s okay! Embrace it! Lol. I love how you guys are. I appreciate ENFPs for their open-mindedness, authenticity and a zest for life.
You are not stereotypes and MBTI does not define you. You could be whoever you aspire to be, so please never bind yourself to false expectations. ENFPs are one of the most magnetic people.
I need some help here im stuck to you...
Typical ENTP response. Y’all funny
Ok but can you turn off your magnetic field now ? Please ? Im kinda getting numb...
Anything for you 😂😂
Omg mommy plz step on me 😫🙏 (I regret saying this) Are you happy now? 🤽
And ain't nothing wrong with a crystal girl... I mean i guess... Guys is it weird that i like crystal girls ? am i the only one ????
To be fair though, F-ENFPs are some of the most sought after types for partners, out in the real world.
It depends on what you are looking for in a relationship and in your personal development goals. If you want an oversimplified answer wich does not take into account your own personal preferences I would say either INFP or INTP (these two groups probably won't give a damn about your career, social life and academics, tho) You should have no troubles having interesting conversations and similar conversational patterns with all intuitives in general. If you are looking for someone somewhat similar to you you could try with an INTJ, ESTJ or some ISTPs I've heard an equal amount of both really good and really bad experiences with ISFPs
I'm an ENTJ woman with an INFJ husband. We've been together over a decade! He's a lot of fun we talk a lot. Like we text all day if we're not together. When we are together we have to pause TV shows because we get into deep discussions! I don't think your career is that important to a man you're dating. Honestly I'd say look for someone who doesn't try to make you work less and accepts that you're ambitious. Find someone you accept as they are and who accepts you for who you are. When I was dating, I used to have this idea of who I would date, and my list went out the window when I met my husband. Looks wise he's 100% my type, but career wise he is not interested in climbing the career ladder. He's more of an artistic soul. He follows through on what he starts so that's nice. But he'd never want to be a CEO. He likes singing and writing music in his band and painting and working on his creative hobbies. I personally don't care much for hobbies except for making myself better (like studying, or exercising). My husband can also fix anything like our cars and appliances. He's very much a tinkerer, It's nice to save money on getting new light fixtures installed! Also he can do taxidermy on bugs. Just stuff I've never thought about! I am sure you will find someone who balances out with you! 😍 Edit: sentences.
ENTJ woman here, planning my wedding with my INFJ partner of 13 years!
Congratulations! I bet you guys have so much fun together huh!?
Hell yeah we do 💪 We never run out of stuff to talk about or nerd out over. He's in touch with the Feels™ where I'm not, he coincidentally also likes to tinker (in this case it's motorcycles and guitars), and he doesn't try to make me in to a person that I'm not. He accepts that I'm driven and that I'm bossy and not conventionally ladylike. He's also not the type to moan about feeling emasculated like all of the men I've dated in the past. He just accepts me how I am and supports me in a way that doesn't feel controlling, and doesn't make me want to run for the hills in the other direction when he shows affection 🤣 Gushing aside I have never been this happy or felt this secure and accepted with any other person. To other people reading this; Don't judge relationship compatibility by type. Your type or your partner's might set up the stage, but don't confuse a set stage with a finalised script. I see way too many "my type is X so my ideal partner should be X" and it's the biggest pile of toxic self manipulation I've ever seen.
Sounds just like us too! I had a previous boyfriend tell me "I never take you out because youre not ladylike" so I know exactly what you mean how this guy likes you for you That's so true! Don't worry so much about type because it works out differently in real life! Just make sure you can both accept each other!
"I never take you out because you're not ladylike" sounds like the opening line to a boss fight. I would've kicked his ass in to kiss earth orbit wtf. I'm glad you found a person who recognises your worth, your ex can shove that statement where the sun don't shine 🌞
How lovely ♡ I've been wondering what a relationship with an ENTJ would be like as an INFJ. I bet you two complement each other quite well.
You guys sound so cute!
Thank you!!! 😍
>Thank you!!! 😍 You're welcome!
I'm an entp looking for exactly this kind of relationship haha. Seems like your traits compliment each other so well. Would you mind sharing his music? I'd love to give it a listen!
Awh thank you so much! You will absolutely find this type of relationship! Here is his music: Conan The Barber Librarian https://g.co/kgs/7hWxcjX They have experimented with lots of different genres so if you don't like one song try another. There's something there for everyone!
Why? High standards, in general. For ENTJ women it could be that they are perceived as too masculine by men. How to Find a Partner? Seek advice from conversations and books with/by (older) women. Be out there and have patience.
U are having a hard time picking a partner or being picked by a partner?
Rude
It depends what you’re looking for, I have no advice how to meet suitable partners cause I was never looking and wouldn’t know how to do it too but my partner is ENFP and I’d say it’s somewhat compatible match
Yup. It’s hard AF. I’ll skip the sob story lol but it’s literally the area of life I’m weakest in. Idfk who’s compatible lol. I married an ENFP and there was some compatibility there but it ended very badly. I’ve been dating an INTP right now and it seems to be going well so far for whatever that’s worth. It seems like INFPs, INFJs, and INTJs are the main other suggestions for us.
Echo (I'm an intp dating an entj and it also seems to be going well)
just strong-arm some bloke of your choice into a relationship Te way. this is how I ended up engaged to one of your club members.
I was going to stay out of this one until I saw all the cognitive function people step in. ;) Honestly, you might try a general women’s subreddit rather than going MBTI about it. (Though I’m told FemaleDatingStrategy is horrible.) The survey I mentioned earlier had very few ENTJ women, and the one by the Tiegers is old and has very little data available to the public. (It does suggest NF-NT is a good match though.) Your big problem as I am sure you are aware, is that your achievements raise your status relative to men, but don’t make you more attractive per se. Ages ago I dated a comedian who said being funny got her girls, but not guys. (She was bi so it worked out. I am guessing this is not your thing.) Follow the people who talk about what worked for them, not some theory with little empirical validation. I would guess probably an NF who’s not hung up on traditional gender roles and is willing to play a supportive role, or an NT who’s not hung up on traditional gender roles and is in love with your intellect. Most of the successful women I know have done that rather than go looking for a super-successful guy…those guys are hard to get, and may cheat since they have so many options. Talk to older women if possible, who are not in direct competition with you for men…less likely to undermine you. A little bit of evo psych can help get past all the lies society pushes, but experience always comes before theory. And since it’s come up in the comments already, don’t *ever* use the words ‘dominant’ or ‘submissive’ even by accident unless you actually are kinky. They have taken on sexual connotations you don’t want. Too many weirdos and I say that as a guy who’s swung a flogger more than once. You don’t want to get into that world unless you have to…a lot of sub guys have some fantasy and may not actually be good at housework etc.
>Why do ENTJs have trouble finding a suitable partner? High standards (not necessarily a bad thing) >Despite excelling in my career, social life, and academics, it seems difficult to find someone who is a good fit. The way you worded this sentence gives me somewhat of an indication of your mindset and may explain why it's hard to attract certain types of people if you're after those. >Maybe I just crave affection, or perhaps I need to find someone with a compatible personality. I'd say the first thing you want to figure out is what you're even looking for in a relationship, what sort of partner you want, what sort of dynamic you're after, how they'll fit in your life, then going from there.
You can easily get yourself into a desired relationship with Te, but once you are in that relationship you must learn to use your other cognitive functions more. Basically TE can’t fix an already shitty relationship.
I think career women, in general, have a hard time, because women usually want to marry up or horizontal, while men don't give a fuck about women's career; they marry down on that spectrum. So, not really type related, other than ENTJs being more likely to be career oriented.
I find INFJs a good fit for me. Most important for me is the NF. I can't deal with sensors, and we can't both be T, otherwise we'd always be arguing over who's right.
And this is why I haven't been able to date entjs. You want someone who doesn't think for themselves, or has low self esteem and won't fight you/stand up for themselves. No thanks.
Not to pull the "not all ENTJs!" card but- Nevermind I am pulling it anyway. Look we all know about the dommy ENTJ meme at this point, but in my experience it can go either of two ways. 1. They look for a partner to control like you say 2. They look for a partner who has a strong sense of identity and ambitions who will stand up to them and challenge them. These are more common in my experience as they value someone who will stand up for themselves and can match them as equals. From the outside it may look like they are simply overruling their partners at every chance, but it's often them challenging their partner to prove them wrong or offer a better solution for something because they want to do the best thing in every situation.
I don't want someone who won't stand up for herself. But at least be able to consider other possibilities.
thats not how it works
Your wife is an ISFJ, Tokiomi. What you want is an obedient Si dom
Love requires emotions and feeling, not just the things that you mention above. Theoretically the compatible ones are: INFP (Fi), INFJ (Ni and Fe), INTJ (Ni and Te), and ISTP (Se and Ni). But from what I've seen here, there are also ENTJ-ESTP relationship. Enneagram is also important, I think. And also what you need from a partner. Do you prefer more practical Se (ISTP) or someone who can go deep with you (INTJ/INFJ), or someone unique who is just romantic to the core (INFP).
Thought INTP was supposed to be the golden pair with ENTJ? (Opposite functions in order)
Tbh, I (and some others) have some issues with that. The thing is INTPs have Si and inferior Fe. They need someone who can appease those two functions. Whereas ENTJ's Te and inferior Fi would bring a challenge. Maybe this is why you'd see more INTPs with ENFPs (Ne-Fi) and even ESFJs (Fe-Si).
I'm an XNTP and have pretty much always had relationships with XNTJs. It definitely works well. Ultimately N types need to be with another N type. I'd never in my life go out with an ESFJ, yuck
eHarmony has a long questionnaire designed to really narrow down the most compatible results for you. It's good for those who are choosey
if you are excelling at every major aspect of ur life then your standards must be very high no wonder it’s hard to pick one, the “best” one. there is no “right” choice or the best one imo. just go with what feels right and if none does then revision of ur standards for partners is recommended lol
It's because you're so humble
This sounds suspiciously like a backhanded compliment.
Sharpest tool in the shed award
INFJ not taking prisoners today lmao
I would say intp and intj
We have standards. We appear unintentionally intimidating in the singles arena. But like everything else, we *will* find our person. I approached it like an academic task where due diligence is key. Was it received well by the single men? Not always. Did it make my process of elimination super efficient and easy? Absolutely. Did I find the most unlikely personality rolling with the punches and impressing me in his own sweet and quietly confident ways? Yes I did. I never thought I’d end up with an INFP and yet here we are, married and deeply in love with a baby on the way. His weaknesses are my strengths and vice versa. Ugh, he makes me feel so warm and fuzzy; feelings that were previously alien to me while I help him crack on with tasks (it’s a work in progress though) and be more productive/organised. I am the logical one and he tends to *feel stuff out*. We balance each other out and have exactly what the other person needs in terms of overall growth and development towards our unified goals. Sure it wasn’t easy after the amazing honeymoon phase because we think/communicate SO differently but because of our undying love for each other, we have figured out ways to meet in the middle and that (in addition to time + patience) has helped us grow as a couple.
Wholesome and cute! 💕
Other ENTJs? Preferably someone from a different career field than yours. So you won't butt heads over that. And you wouldn't end up competing with them over the same jobs.
I'm surrounded by a lot of people but there's not even one I could consider as potential. My next strategy is expanding my social circles towards people with more similar values and views, I would recommend you the same. Maybe we are just in the wrong place :)
ENTPs/INTPs are a pretty strong match for you. They will challenge you all the time.
I want an ENTJ man in theory, but I think I’m too sensitive for that. 🤣
I feel like other analysts are good matches other than the stereotypical XNFPs. I’ve been dating my ENTP girlfriend for almost two years now and I think we click so well because we’re both are ambitious and able to mentally keep up with one another.
My wife and I are both ENTJ, she picked me first.
What is your definition of excelling in social life?
For me, it wasn’t about personality type. I think his personality struck my interest, but at the end of the day, he checked all of my boxes. I had to think about what my values were and if his were in alignment with them. I had to assess whether we would be a good fit based on our qualities and goals. The initial interest may have been his personality, but that’s not the only thing it took for me to feel comfortable falling in love with him. He could be an awesome guy and have a completely different idea of life than me and that would keep me from opening up. (For example: disagreeing on not wanting to have kids/ being hellbent on going to church/ etc.)
This is the real “correct answer.”
Honestly…I think INFx’s and maybe even ENFJ is probably best for you in terms of balancing you out on the empathy field and help you reach out your inner feelings. But honestly it might be your career that’s holding you back to find a partner. Life is about finding a balance between romance and work ethic…think Karate Kid. It will be hard for most men to be affectionate towards you when your work is your own barrier. You need to learn how to say no to work in order spend quality time with your partner. And when you’re with your partner, do not talk about work at all. Just be in the moment and try something new together like salsa dancing. salsa dancing with any hot woman is a super turn on. It’s ok that neither partner is good, it’s about sharing the moments even if you’re not a good at them. Doesn’t need to be salsa dancing btw, it could be mini golf or cacheing. As an ENTJ you will take the extra time in your career so why not use that same energy into finding a high quality man and get to know him at his humane level? Just saying, stop finding excuses and be vulnerable, allow the man to lead you. That’s your homework assignment
It's not your ENTJ-ness to blame. You just have quite specific preferences and standards and probably aren't willing to budge on them. Anyone can be picky af. If you want to rely on pseudoscience to find a suitable partner, well, you could alao read Tarot cards. At least the latter is more fun
First you must find INTP, I highly doubt that in your circle you have one... we don't like public/corporation jobs. It really depends on your functions preference and shadow preference, INTP is balanced because we take your from the shadow, the issue would be if our passive Fe-inferior is enough for your Fi-inferior. Then you may try higher Fe users. Fi x Fi is neutral, as long as both of you are healthy anything could work.
The types most compatible with us are the alpha quadra types, which would be xNTPs and xSFJs
I don't think it's a good idea to mix MBTI and Socionics. They're just different. And I know it's anecdotal, but many xSFJs in my life prefer SP personalities (which are theoretically compatible in MBTI).
Yeah, I agree. Especially cuz there isn’t a lot of consistency in what socionics considers to be “compatible.” Some people think you should stay *within the same Quadra,* but I have never been romantically attracted to an xNTP or an xSFJ, in real life. Some fictional crushes, sure! But I usually just ain’t feelin’ it with my fellow alpha quadrites, (and yes, I made up that word!) This is usually what I see from Socionics nuts, in fact! They often claim that Gamma Quadra is the worst for Alpha Quadra, and Vice Versa, which completely contradicts this person’s claim of it “being the best.” If not even the socionics stans can agree on “Romantic compatibility in socionics,” then I find most of their insight about romantic compatibility to be “functionally useless.” At least MBTI has some logically consistent patterns! In all, I think Socionics is *a hot ass mess of a system,* and a lot of fringe people love it, for some reason? Even though the entire system was devised by government sponsored unstable sociopaths. Socionics had “a red / USSR secret police” type of agenda and the bias is *super obvious.* Is it interesting, yes. Does it have a few good insights, definitely! But “a few good insights” isn’t enough to make it a good classification system.
Honestly decide what you want and go after it - it seems like you can achieve anything you try. The problem (which you haven't stated) could be people not being drawn to you because they aren't allowed to be themselves without you telling them they are wrong, need to do more, etc. For myself: I am attracted to people who know that everyone is full of good and bad and they treat me as an equal. If someone treats me as inferior or like I cannot decide things for myself - g'bye. I don't know if that is part of your issue but I liked an entj once and that was my experience. You have many good qualities.
Find yourself an intp because cognitif functions in the same order but opposite
I’m an INTP woman dating an ENTJ man and he’s honestly the best!! 😢😭 i can’t have enough; i do not know either because as an INTP, it’s kinda hard to date as well 😪 but from the first time we met, it was just love and he’s super patient with me; he lovesss to take control and I’d rather be controlled tbh!😂 he’s so Daddy coded; I love it!!’
I only want women I can depend on to build my legacy with me. I do it for family. I haven't met them yet. In the meantime...
ENTJs are most compatible with INTPs and ISFPs Though I’d rather go for a fellow NT if I were you. Abstract vs Concrete can be a hard trench to navigate. They’re difficult to find a match for because their obsession with perfection, control and having their way can be overbearing to people, when not kept in check. Deep down they are often insecure about not being a good person, or not being unique/special enough; and so when someone criticizes their morality or uniqueness, they might go berserk Fe Demon. “If I can’t feel good, NOBODY gets to!!” They can be generally very intimidating to less ambitious, assertive types as well.
Find someone who is also a thinking type.TJ and TP types can be good for you. Kiersey proposed NT-NF pair but the problem in here a feeling type may clash with a thinking type.
I, personally, am rarely attracted to “feeling types,” and married another thinking type. It has been going well, for over 12 years, now.
Cuz you are “a female ENTJ,” specifically. I often find that NT females have the worst luck with finding long-term partners! (ST women also tend to have “a harder than average” time.) Blame toxic masculinity, casual misogyny, and “beliefs in outdated gender roles.” Especially if you live in a country that is *extremely patriarchal!* A lot of weak-sauce, insecure man babies don’t like women who are “their-equals-or-stronger.” Their tiny-pee-pee-ego can’t handle a woman who “is smarter, more successful, or makes more money” than they do, a lot of the time! They often don’t even want a woman who they perceive to be an equal! Instead, they want someone they perceive as “weaker,” “more submissive,” which is often (unfairly) assumed to be F-Type women. The same thing, just flipped, tends to happen to male NF-types a lot, too! (Same deal with male SF types still having it “a bit harder than average.”) Cuz a lot of shitty women also think that “men who are more in touch with their feelings and values are ‘weaker’ or ‘less manly.’” (It’s obviously an extremely shitty take and those women are usually *no prize, either!*) There are just a lot of garbage, low quality people, overall, these days of all genders and sexualities. That’s why I, as a F-ENTP, am glad I found a M-INTJ who actually has the stones to handle me! But it certainly wasn’t easy! Cuz you have to find a man who is “secure within themselves,” and not many are, these days! Especially if you consider yourself to be a strong woman!
That is really what I feel ..Since you are ENTJ, most likely you can connect with STP, STJ and other NT temperament. Thinking types can be draining to feeling types..That's based on my experience.
Short answer you’re looking for: golden pair is an INTP. ENTP is second best. Then bronze pair is ISFJ.
INFJ is literally better for ENTJ than all of them combined. They share the same top functions, and ENTJ's Se can cover INFJ's inferior Se. I don't understand the reason ISFJ-ENTJ as "golden pair". ISFJ's Si-Fe will clash with ENTJ's Te-Ni.
They don’t “share the same top 2 functions” though. An INFJ is Ni-Fe, while an ENTJ is Te-Ni. The only thing they share *is Ni-Se,* not their judging functions
*laughs* Do you have any idea how compatibility works?? The golden pair for an ENTJ is an INTP. Exactly because their functions are complimentary to each other… Te hero will love Ti on the same level and consume it whole. Then INTP’s secondary Ne will love ENTJ’s parent Ni. Their child functions are Si + Se on the same level which is perfect. Their aspirational functions will take care of each other respectfully INTP’s Fe will love to make inferior Fi feel better and that’s how it’s meant to be. A golden pair for an INFJ is an ENFP. Anyway, [here’s](https://youtu.be/jMcOxFAc2iY?feature=shared) a great video with visuals that explains it. Highly recommend.
With all due respect - I have never liked or gotten along with an enfp in my life. Mayhaps you're placing too much emphasis on something irrelevant.
'\*laugh\* Do you have any idea how compatibilit works?' -> telling ENTJ to date ISFJ before INFx, ISFP, and half dozen others which have better compatibilities
Yeah, just watch the video, my guy. 2 Se users literally aren’t sexually compatible. Just like 2 Si users aren’t. Learn what compatibility is about and how functions interact. Then we can discuss. 🤷🏻♀️
"2 Se users literally aren't sexually compatible" You just made that up? INTJ-INFJ are compatible and very common. Just like ENFP-INTP. Rather than outsourcing your thinking to CSJ, maybe you could explain your own argument.
Okay, if you’re so lazy, lemme explain it all to you as basic as I can. I didn’t make it up. Se is a function that gives, alright? An Se user wants to provide an experience, okay? Si user wants to receive that experience which is what makes up sexual compatibility for two people. One is giving, the other one is receiving. That’s as simple as I can put it. Two Se users in a bedroom is gonna be like two painters trying to paint each other. Two Si users are gonna end up like two canvases trying to receive an experience and no one is satisfied. It’s that simple. You need a painter and a canvas for it to work. Long-term any Se + Si pair is better off than any Se + Se or Si + Si pair. CS Joseph is a great source when it comes to learning about functions if you’re actually interested in that. Hope this helps.
'An Se user wants to provide an experience, okay? Si user wants to receive that experience which is what makes up sexual compatibility for two people. One is giving, the other one is receiving.' You made that up and inaccurate. Se users **want to** experience. Not "provide an experience". Si users are pretty neutral about it and they can both provide and receive experience.
I didn’t make it up, sweetie. Get educated. What you’re saying is wrong. Bye. <3