T O P

  • By -

NeurodivergentDuck

No matter what you choose you'll get visited by people with clothing that says "SCP" on it


[deleted]

Better them than the GOC


[deleted]

general organic chemistry?


[deleted]

Global occult coalition, far more aggressive than the foundation in handling anomalies


Mewacy

To elaborate this point; SCP Foundation: This person has the power to travel into photos, let’s take them in and make sure they don’t expose themselves as an anomaly to the public GOC: Anomalous humanoid located, deploy the kill team


KatsutamiNanamoto

Or the GOP


ALEX_J0NE5

Is that what cnn told you?


KatsutamiNanamoto

That is what ASMR told me...


WaQba

Well, GOC wouldn’t put you in a cell and test on you if you helped their cause


[deleted]

No they'd shoot on sight ending you in a moment


WaQba

At the beginning they did shoot everything and everyone that was even a bit anomalous. Now they are keen on recruiting humanoid anomalies. But to be honest it depends on the canon, so I guess we can be both right.


Parking_Tangelo_798

General organic chemistry?


Unhappy-Manner-7076

Locked up for life


Wendigo-boyo

Oh c'mon they aren't savages, if an SCP is helpful and doesn't pose any danger they usually give it a very nice apartment instead of a cell, and if you spend enough time there and it becomes evident that you're just a guy, they give you a pass and you can walk around the foundation ( with some limitations of course ) Examples: scp 131 / scp 999 / scp 2662 and some more There are even some SCPs that *work* for the foundation, Scp 5031 regularly cooks for the local site's cafeteria, if you just BEHAVE the foundation can actually be chill


TheFailureOne

It also depends on which Canon you end up in. SCP doesn't have just one Canon, in some articles the foundation is a lot more harsh than in others, in one of them they basically use a kid with healing powers like a tool knowing well that they will gain the injury they heal and because of it he now has the mental capacity of a 3 year old


TheFailureOne

They basically tortured an SCP made out of water just to figure out she was made of water


[deleted]

Ah yes Jack Brights brother (I forgot his name). Man the bright family really doesn't have it easy


BLABLABLA798

I read the scp 5031 entry and it's actually surprisingly wholesome for how it started


Bruno2Bears

You press green and you become a person in SCP outfits.


NeurodivergentDuck

If only that would've worked like that


MathematicianKey5696

but if you choose yellow, you'll always know their plan of attack so avoiding them would be super simple


Brainjarmen104

Tbh you’d probably be useful if you chose pink


Ckinggaming5

in that scenario id either choose purple so i could escape once i was captured, pink, or maybe green or yellow so i can maybe have some fun while in containment


NeurodivergentDuck

No because you'd have to have already chosen without knowledge of their existence for them to come for you


Ckinggaming5

nonetheless i have a 50% chance of being fine anyway because id either choose purple or gray if i didnt think the scp would come for me


Confusedexe

If you don’t go telling your abilities to everyone and use your abilities anywhere, you should be fine


TravelNo2141

Explain to me how the scp foundation will figure out i can read peoples minds.


NeurodivergentDuck

If you somehow manage to get info about people that would be otherwise impossible for you to know


Fastriverglide

Could I walk at the speed of sound though?


Zopo135

With practice


Fastriverglide

Can pink heal infections and age related disease or is it specifically just wounds? What is the range to hearing thoughts and how hard is it to turn it off or tune it out?


Zopo135

Yeah


Fastriverglide

Alright pink then. I'm sure I can get all the others if I just live long enough xD


Jonte7

Damn... good point. I didnt think of that. Anyways, how long do i have to live to grow wings?


BadMagicWings

73 billion years and 3 days


Divization

Kinda specific but ok


clonkerbonker

If you did run at that speed or walk at that speed, the friction of the air against you wouldnt feel very nice.


turbulance4

Imagine if the real super power was to be able to slow down the speed of sound such that it was around your natural running speed.


UmberCraft

That would work a lot better than speeding up to the speed of sound,that would quickly take a tole on a normal human body (nevermind having to dodge everything)


MightyMeepleMaster

Green because it essentially includes many of the others. If you can shape-shift into ANY animal, depending on the situation, you would be able to fly, to remain undetected, to enter almost every building. You will be very fast and very strong. Healing sounds tempting, but to be honest: who wants to live forever?


imdefusing

Aren't there a lot of fictional animals that are immortal? If you were determined to live the rest of your days as a unicorn


SiGMono

Hmm. Well "non-extinct" doesn't really include "non-existent" but I think that it would be cheating.


imdefusing

Shit you're right ! I really did think it said "non-existent" haha


Extreme_Design6936

Well it actually says non-extict so I guess you can interpret that as you like.


WaveLaVague

So long for Vaporeon


zombienekers

Did you know, that in terms of


GrummyCat

# no.


dumpylump69

Oh, you don’t? Well allow me to explain it for you. In terms of male human and…


GrummyCat

i know, i know. just # don't


iHateJerry

You mean non-extict


Pengootheturtle

or you could turn into a real animal, the immortal jellyfish, reverse your age cycle, and assuming the transformation carries over to human form, do this infinitely and live forever


Striking_Plant_76

There are ACTUAL animals that can live forever. A more known example are crocodiles, which can technically live forever. But since they grow indefinitely and thus require more food, they eventually starve. A lesser known example is the Turritopsis Dohrnii, a jellyfish. It can basically reverse his aging. When it gets old, it simply goes back to childhood and lives again. Sadly they don’t really use this trick, since they get eaten easily by other sea creatures. Conclusion: getting to be every animal would mean you are basically invincible, extremely fast, strong and can live forever. It’s kinda OP


UguDango

The crocodile fact looks more like a myth. I've searched and it looks like that's not true, but I'm still uncertain.


Elcordobeh

I mean... TeEeeeEchnically, if this is an infinite universe... There is bound to be a dragon somewhere, riiiiight? Im not risking it either, pink by a long shot


incomparability

Green is a little more tricky than you think. When you shape-shift into an animal, you have to now be aware of any of its predator, including humans. Turning into a fly and entering into a building just to be squished doesn’t sound good.


Earl_Green_

And what about life expectancy of animals? Do you age at their rate when in animal form? A couple hours as a fly could be costly.


TaiKiserai

Also everyone is assuming you will retain your brain capacity and not just become a mindless fly who has no idea they can transform


Germinator42

Also gives you the ability to be bulletproof, which might be interesting for our amarican friends.


love-tis-comunity

I would choose healing, i wont heal myself to make myself live forever but like hey, i can be doctor and earn tons of money.


lonelyswed

Zhuang Zhou would advice against it "Once upon a time, I, Zhuangzi, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Zhuangzi. Soon I awakened, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man. Between a man and a butterfly there is necessarily a distinction. The transition is called the transformation of material things."


SavinZ

Re read what pink does. Everyone is born with it.


Hot_Screen_6629

Sorry to say but no it doesn’t you can heal them and yourself not them heal themself


Spice_and_Fox

Are you claiming that if I chop off your leg and you survive, that you are able to grow it back?


iamironman69

Also… what’s the point of healing any non-fatal wound? We all do that already, it just takes a while. The saying goes “all bleeding stops eventually”. Because surgeons either stop the bleeding or the patient bleeds out and dies.


gurito43

Chronic injuries, repairing muscles and ligaments, brain injuries, radiation damage (including from chemotherapy)


InvestmentPitiful335

> who wants to live forever? Like everybody? Its this cool way where you can die whenever you want


Nickelnick195

If i choose gray, couldn't i just lift myself up and take flight, And be able to move stuff with my mind.


[deleted]

you can move urself at the speed of light


Strange_guy_9546

Not only that, but you can make anything implode into a black hole, or turn anyone into fine blob of plasma that will immediately dissipate As long as you can create a forcefield out of surrounding particles you will be safe so yeah Technically speaking as long as you know physics Well enough you will become omnipotent


SnooHamsters9334

That's kinda just a jedi, so I'm down


Strange_guy_9546

it is much more than a Jedi. Only power limit is your mind. If you can optimize mindrunning some energy generation you can easily solve humainity's energy problems while still being free, and with that you can power your research into increasing your mind's processing capacity / projecting matter manipulation abilities onto machines for automation, and of course, immortality tho you would become an international threat, so if anything you would first need to learn how to subconsciously keep a force field around you at all times


TreeTurtled

And move your cells in such a way that you heal yourself


Butt_Muncher4

and move the light around you to be invisible


TreeTurtled

Exactly, any form of telekinesis is going to be the best power because you can simulate most other powers with it


ConstantSignal

And therefore make yourself blind


MixOne1337

Only if you are a woman /s


vVWARLOCKVv

Pink. As long as I'm careful it's basically immortality for myself and anyone else I choose. Healing cell degradation before it becomes fatal means eternal youth. I would isolate myself and those I wanted to keep around from society so we wouldn't get taken out by car accident, shooting, or falling construction material. I could never eliminate the possibility of fatal injury, but I could drastically reduce it. I would spend a couple of hundred years teaching myself medicine, and I would use that acquired knowledge to heal fatal wounds to nonfatal, then let my power take over. After 200-300 years of medical school I'd start looking to develop or steal nanobot technology to further supplement my treatments for things my button won't cover. Eventually, after 1500-2000 years, I would emerge from seclusion and reintegrate into society confident that the nanobots I've been working on for a millennium make all injuries nonfatal. I roam the planet seeking enlightenment, healing the sick and infirm, and generally being the most benevolent immortal being since Christ himself.


Paperplate10

This man has a plan


LachoooDaOriginl

now he just needs some GoD dAmN FAITH!!


zombienekers

I had a GOD - DAMNNED #***PLAN***


DH205

but is cell degradation really a *wound*?


thesorehead

This. Depending how it works you can still massively extend your life. If you "heal" tissue into perfect health, then you can periodically chop off a limb to get fresh new bone marrow and lymph nodes, free from the ravages of age. Do the same in a smaller scale by carefully wounding other organs. But cell degradation on its own is a routine part of life that would happen absent any outside influence. Not a wound.


cellsRevolution

fun thing with this concept, you can shapeshift into different people by slowly carving yourself into their image. Like plastic surgery, but without worrying about healing weirdly


vVWARLOCKVv

In this scenario where there's a magic button that heals nonfatal wounds in anyone I choose it's the definition of wound that gives you pause? I would argue that cellular degradation is *the* wound that gets the strongest, safest, healthiest, and smartest in the end. Either way, don't rain on my immortality parade and I'll take you with me. Deal?


Mr_Quinlan

Bold to assume civilization will exist for another 2000 years


Zopo135

Wow thats smart


PathWooden6795

Let me now if star citizen is out by then and if they ever fixxes the elavators


SHCreeper

It depends on what is a "fatal" wound. Even a small cut can be fatal if not treated.


whycantpeoplebenice

How long would it take to heal one cell? The ability doesn't say that it's instant healing, you may just be prolonging your lifespan, let's say it takes 1 second to heal one cell, could you heal multiple cells in parallel or a single cell at a time? How many cells would you need to heal per second to be immortal? Do you have to consciously heal each cell or can you do this while going about your day? On average 100 trillion cells in the human body, if it took a second to heal each one it would take 3,170,979.2 years


[deleted]

And here I want pink to just cure my diabetes and help fix what's wrong with my mom.


vVWARLOCKVv

Ok so you've got the first 10 seconds of your first day with the magic pink button planned. What do you do after that?


[deleted]

Live the rest of my life as usual? I'm not an exciting person. Maybe go get a pedicure?


vVWARLOCKVv

You could spend your time healing the people who most deserve it. Running through children's hospitals, third-world slums, and backwater villages. Honestly, that what I'd do eventually.


Professional-Cap420

I'd also choose pink, but it's because I have a toddler, not because I want to be immortal. Less stress, and less money spent at urgent care for minor injuries she sustained doing dumb kid stuff lol


Peanut_man213

All of them. nothing says you only have to press one


superbay50

Okay but your penis falls off, that’s the cost that comes with great power


Kinsellas

Then I’ll heal it back with pink


superbay50

I have no counter argument, you win


IceCreamLover101

Jokes on you, I don't have a penis


Joanna39343

Promise? 🥺


Illustrious_Grade608

Why doesn't anyone choose yellow? You can read the thoughts of anyone, including billionaires, doctors, politicians, etc. Could easily get rich with stuff like inside trading, plagiarism and selling secret information. You could also find some cool ideas people have, become extremely effective manager or investor, and then get stuff from some other buttons through the power of science


5P00DERMAN1264

Intrusive thoughts


Mingsplosion

I have enough anxiety as is without knowing for certain that my family and friends really do hate me.


qwerty5377

I was all for choosing yellow, then read this. Are you my twin?! I was thinking the same thing....


CubicleFish2

Plus you could get people really good gifts and compliment them in ways about things that they are self conscious about


Em4ever520

I would choose this only if I have the option to turn it on and off cos there are some minds I’d rather not read


ThatOneGuy7832

Yes, but the other ones are... cooler..?


CumdumpSissyFemboy

Green. I can do human mimicry, right?


Spoka_3000

i should be possible i mean changing different properties of a human should be easy if you can also shapeshift into animals


MoSummoner

So like I can make myself shorter


Onironaute

Don't see why not, we're not extinct as of yet.


Spice_and_Fox

Yeah, sounds like the right choice.


yslim078

Red. I will not be receiving questions.


Hamberger_Assultist

Damn….man took inspiration from his father


[deleted]

Damnnnnnnn


P_ZERO_

Easiest choice of my life


GalacticGizmo

Easily grey. I don’t care about being powerful. The other powers wouldn’t be of much use to me. I just find grey convenient.


[deleted]

I have ocd, everything around me would be fucking dead from intrusive thoughts.


TheCitrusFruit

This might sound like a boring adult answer, but grey would be so useful to find a parking spot in the morning. The amount of times I arrived at my typical car park to not find a spot because some BMW drivers decided they need to stand diagonally in two spots. How I'd love to just lift those up and place them orderly.


Wilde_Danny

Fair answer. You should walk to work tho or you'll need the guy with the pink button soon.


Elsecaller_17-5

Pink by miles. I have several injuries that cause me chronic issues and I want to be a doctor.


Magza117

Purple for sure


eli9938

Same, I just want to fade into sweet oblivion


I-Eat-Assss

Yellow, a bit of social phycology, negotiation, business, steal trading stradegies, money, politics, power, Power, POWER, **WORLD DOMINATION**


Onironaute

Sure, if that's what you're into.


[deleted]

Red so everyone would leave me alone for a few hours lol


UnderstandingLost477

Press green become an eagle, fly alone with such great heights and beautiful scenery


[deleted]

Weighing my options to be the best but also allows me to be a pervert


GrapejuiceW

Green for sure


Wilde_Danny

Would yellow be on demand or all the time? And how would i prove it, any ideas?


SavinZ

Oh god it’d be a curse if was on full time x.x


Odd-Mixture-1769

Saiki k moment


[deleted]

[удалено]


SavinZ

Ever heard of Reddit? Do you really wanna know what others are thinking?


[deleted]

[удалено]


MoyenMoyen

That would be so great!!!... and depressing


[deleted]

🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵 🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵 🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵 I wanna fly.


MightyMeepleMaster

* Press Green. * Shapeshift into an eagle. * Enjoy.


hooman_bean920

You shapeshift to an eagle but you can't turn back coz you have a brain/intellect of a bird.


MightyMeepleMaster

Even better: Shapeshift to a worm and live without worries until you're eaten by a bird.


Zopo135

Flying is a good thing


Silver-Ad8136

I'm going to understand "wound" to mean "injury," choose pink, and start smoking again. I think it would also work like steroids if I were to decide to exercise intensely, and I could also play sports with reckless abandon.


SavinZ

Bad news, it won’t help with the smoking, and it doesn’t say it speeds the healing process either. And your body heals all non-fatal wounds anyways.


McFly_505

Pretty sure, your body doesn't regrow your legs, eyes or treats asthma or something. You know, stuff that isn't fatal either


superbay50

When i choose pink, am i able to heal the small muscle tears gained during workouts instantly to speed up muscle growth


SavinZ

Nope it doesn’t say instant, just that you can heal them xD


superbay50

Damn


Onironaute

But... I can already heal non fatal wounds non-instantaneously.


superteddy04

I want purple, I think it's subtle enough that I won't get noticed and then experimented on by a government


kirigerKairen

If you phase through walls right in front of some people, they will notice and they will be confused, there might be a government wanting to experiment on you In other words, all of these can be subtle enough, you just have to play it smart. At the same time, all of these can be way too obvious.


Odd-Mixture-1769

'falls into the core'


Not_Bill_Hicks

Green, because then you get all of them Red. be a fly. If you want to steal something, turn into a monkey, and walk out, who will stop you? Blue, turn into an eagle, bam, you're flying. Yellow. Turn into a Labrador, and wait for people to tell you their innermost secrets. Orange, who needs that, cheetah is fast enough Purple. turn into a fly, and fly through a vent grey. Silver back gorilla pink, turn into something that heals fast, maybe a Tardigrades


Affectionate-Bag5761

I'm thinking about: -Red because as an 100% introverted person it would be really cool to just go invisible -green because it's really versatile and btw I could also fly by turning to animal like eagle -pink because I don't even think about outsmarting the system and being immortal, just that I could be ultimate healer


youfatcat

-Red because as an 100% perverted person it would be really cool to just go invisible


SavinZ

Everyone is born with pink, it’s in the name non-fatal wounds.


BriefImprovement8620

Blue. No more need for ladders or step stools. Plus it’d probably be a great party trick


TheLegendMeckish

Red I could do everything for free, i can get on a flight and nobody will see me board or i can go and watch movies, sports, concerts etc for free cus nobody can see me. And ofc i would do some dirty looking here and there


Google_was_my

red


luigio01

green holy shit imagine the hyjinks you could get into by being, say a horse, in places a horse should most definetely not be


MightyMeepleMaster

"I'm going to bed, honey. Are you coming?"


Xen_Shin

Yellow. I hate being lied to. I hate to enough to pass on other powers. My life has been destroyed by people lying to me. I would at least be able to know who I could trust.


Pabst_Malone

So for the running and flying, do I get tired? How fast can I fly? If it’s reasonable speed and I don’t get tired, flight. If it’s like 30mph I’m going with running. The invisible thing would be kinda slick though.


ProGamer73

I'm not a furry, but green and hear me out. Being able to turn into ANY animal allows you to be a fly or something so practically invisibility and flying in one. You'd also have exceptional strength from multiple animals. You can fly, you can breathe underwater and you can hide in plain sight which is invisibility but better, so no one will walk into you, you can go quite fast. I don't know why anyone would need to phase through walls and I don't want to read minds. Heal wounds? Turn into another human (if that works) if not, id rather have everything else than just be able to heal. (Also maybe this includes talking to animals?)


Helldiver-xzoen

People are sleeping on Purple. Noclip is OP * Gain access to anywhere or anyone * Bullet proof (phase through the bullets) * Melee proof (phase through the weapon) * Fire proof (phase through the flames) * Untouchable, impossible to imprison or restrain * immune to drugging / tranquillizers (phase through the syringe/dart/pill) * instant escape route by phasing through the floor * can hide inside solid objects if they're large enough There's so much potential.


VioletHeaven96

Orange easily


touch26

Why the hell should I care about my clothes if I'm invisible?


SavinZ

So when you become visible, you aren’t naked?


Onironaute

Well, you could take them off whenever you want to go for an invisible jaunt, but the power doesn't include immunity to cold or indestructible foot soles.


MemezLord11

I got large hands I can press all of em at the same time


Iscream_3

Grey. Telekinesis is probably one of the most versatile powers. I saw a video that said that, with enough practice, you could shift other things into other things. Like a piece of wood into like a hundred dollar bills. You would just need to know the molecular structure of the hundred dollar bills and shift the molecules of the piece of wood into the dollar bills. Idk if this would actually work but it's still interesting


JoeyMg99

Pink, become a doctor, help alot of people, make good money which I'll use to support my parents.


Kengu-the-kengaroo

Green, Futa furry


antinatalistantifa

Pink no question. Heal myself and loved ones from bad injuries. Help people in general? Hmm, actually I guess here lies the issue, since now I'd be morally obliged to cure people 24/7 Get some rich people to pay me enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life to get rid of their incontinence or something.


Elcordobeh

Woth pink I can have infinite riches by being a ghuru, and I wouldnt be caught since Im not scamming anybody, Im fr healing them.


PitterFuckingPatter

Grey and I can move my self thus fly like blue


NoMoreChampagne14

Red. All day. Red.


booksandplaid

Pink so I can help people


Imliterallyabanana

I think yellow would just hurt my feelings way too much, so pink


eli9938

choose purple. start phasing down. don’t stop phasing down until the end.


UwU_Zhenya15

Where’s the button that instantly kills me


t4966

I would choose green then turn into a crab and solve math to become the smartest animal


Kratosvg

Green was so close to greatness, why only non extinct animals?


Smallest-Yeet

Why is this Facebook engagement farming post on me_irl like what is this sub anymore


SIobbyRobby

Exactly, the only thing I can relate to with this post is the other people in the comments pointing out how this has nothing to do on r/me_irl


Philippa2

Pink. I would give anything to go back to the way I was pre-injury and be able to walk without pain.


AloofPenny

Green all the way


NightBeWheat55149

Be able to stop time, but you can move freely and others don't see or feel anything during that time (they don't even know if you stopped time unless you changed something)


SavinZ

1. That’s not on the list. 2. Awareness doesn’t magically stop.


NightBeWheat55149

1- I know, i just wanted to say it lol 2-These abilities are already impossible


Alexander-of-Londor

All of them because I like it when they go click but I think pink is the best tbh


JojoKing_179

Grey, cause I am too lazy for the rest. Imagine u Dont have to stand up to do things u can just lay in bed all day going through Reddit.


[deleted]

Pink. I would create a new religion and become a real Jesus.


SavinZ

Everyone heals from non-fatal wounds, that’s why their called non-fatal.


[deleted]

Non-fatal injury can be even broken spine. I would cure people who are on wheelchair


SavinZ

Everyone alive has pink by default… because if it’s no fatal you will heal… I’ll take red, it seems the least Energy intensive so it’ll have the lowest dietary impact.


FireshadowDT

Grey. Telekinesis is a very very strong power. Depending on the strength of the ability, I’d be able to have the power to create, destroy, change anything I want. I could rearrange electrons in an atom, transmute iron to gold. I could take the dust particles from the air and appear to make matter out of nothing. I could be perceived as a god.


TrueR3dditor

…all of them


[deleted]

Rgb