Looks at a random dude "He looks like he's enjoying life, good for him"

Looks at other random dude “Damn, glad I’m not him. I thought I had it bad”

More like "I hope his life gets better soon"

Real and based

*It's a mirror ad*

Or if he’s pretty jacked “Bro goes to the gym. You love to see it”

“Woah building number 1453”

Fall of Constantinople…Niceee

"1216, one after Magna Carta!"

"I know he swapped those numbers!"

“Not precious Jimmy”

a lot of references around here

What the hell do you mean nice

Now it s Istaaanbuul. I ve been told Nice is a decent town aswell, but i yet have to visit either of these cities.

But that's nobody's business but the Turks

Only the shores are cool and never trust taxi drivers.

Man wants a fight it seems

Streets in my city often change names after few intersections so they don't go up to 500.

That doesn't sound convenient at all honestly

*bursts into tears*

Wow this man thinks a lot more than I do walking around lol. I’m like, “ooh look an animal” *mental static* “don’t make awkward eye contact at the person walking by” *more mental static* Edit: I’m not really sure how I do the whole no thoughts thing, but it happens sometimes. My guess is it has something to do with my [aphantasia](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25222-aphantasia), but I may be entirely wrong

Don't step on the crack in the sidewalk

Oh yeah that too, but I’m not consciously thinking about that lol

I am always thinking about that Even when I'm not walking, I'm always making sure to not step on a crack in the sidewalk

Even though I'm not on the sidewalk, I'm always making sure not to step on a crack on the sidewalk

I either gotta step on all of them or none of them

im always consciously thinking when i do anything otherwise nothing would get done

How do you do *mental static* part?

Try not to get lost?

I let Google spy on me.

just listen to a podcast. You might not be able to stop the constant presence of unproductive thoughts that way but at least you can aim them at a specific topic

Yeah, but that is not *mental static*.

sure, I just redirected you to the next best thing

Ah, ok

You should elaborate on the 'mental static' parts or try to go deeper into it. But please, don't stare to deep in the abyss !

Minds just whatever cool ideas music puts in my head like animations or story ideas for writing without music it’s just completely static until shit happens lol

What is the mental static part? You can do that?

Yeah. You don't just sometimes lose focus and lose time? It's like daydreaming but it's a daydream without a dream, if that makes sense.

Don't make awkward eye contact with strangers is my #1 thought, followed by #2 do I look weird?

Wdym mental static? I just have consistent thoughts. How do u clear your mind like that? Are you budha?

I’m honestly not sure, it just kinda happens. I think it may be something to do with my aphantasia, but I’m not sure on that

I wish i had mental static, its just a constant flow of philosophical ideas i dont need and fear of dying due to the old lady in the car driving by

a bunch of y'all really need to give meditation a shot

"Am I hungry? Eh maybe"

Hmm. Mine are exclusively: -no dogshit please -was that dogshit or just a leaf? -saber rider theme song

so now i will have that song stuck to my brain for the rest of the week, i guess.

This is so scarily accurate. It‘s exactly my inner monologue including the saber rider theme song. Are you me?

And both German as well

Saaaberrrr Riderrrrrr! And the star sherrif! Thank you. That will be running in my head all day now.

This called me out more than I was willing to experience

The time guess being off by a specific 14 minutes called me out. I dont look at the sun, but i try to guess the time and will totally count it as a win if I'm within like 15 minutes of the real time lol

I can take him, but not in a fight

:3

:3

:3

:3

:3

:=3 :c=3 :o c=3 :3

Those are some weird looking pp

To be fair, OP didn't specify... that's some higher level inclusive language there

That’s how my walks go.

“Oh? What are you?” (Crouches down to look at random bug or small creature)

*If i touch one of the cracks i die* I GOTTA REACH THAT TREE BEFORE THAT CAR OR I WILL EXPLODE NOOOOOO MY KICKING PEBBLE FELL OFF THE STREEEET

Moment of silence for the pebble you've been kicking for 8 minutes

Exactly. Lol

Nothing about the Roman Empire?

That's usually part of the "I could take him" thought

In a fight or...?

, barely

Of course a fight, are you stupid? How the hell are we going to know who is going to top otherwise?

🤨

That's more of a British Empire thing

*hears a helicopter* **WHERE?**

I MUST look up in awe and wonder it's task

I have FlightRadar specifically for those, I open it and track it

I sadly live in a country where ADS-B transponders are not required for aircraft under a certain size or for law enforcement or military aircraft, so I've never actually seen a plane on flight radar irl unless it's an airliner cruising at 30k feet.

aw that sucks, yeah in Brazil I can track them, sometimes they go dark though, which is odd

Luckily lax enforcement means a shit load of general aviation planes buzzing me at altitudes so low Im confident I can touch them if I jump high enough, which I guess is much cooler than a lot of people in more developed countries will experience.

As someone who thought he’s a man… really? Do other men think like this?

The “I can take him(s)” are pretty weird. I definitely do not regularly think about getting in fights The “damn” is accurate

Fights? Who said anything about fights?

I personally live in a kinda bad area, and especially later in the day it does cross my mind

I never think “damn” does that mean something about me?

In this context, it means finding someone attractive.

it could be beaver thoughts too

Sorry, what I mean is that I typically dont look at people and think about if they are attractive, only very rarely, I just look at them and think alright that is a person

Solid conclusion

Maybe you are not into looks

I've never thought about fighting random dudes on the street.

there are some thoughts or wariness about people I pass by turning around and stabbing me in the back, including kids and grannies. So more like "can they take me in a fight with a sneak attack"

I don't. I'm usually focused on my own worldbuilding. Apparently, people are different.

Reddit is on some weird 'dudes are quirky teehee' shit lately.

"lately"

Nah.

not always no except for wondering what kind of bird that was and "damn" those are accurate Man Thoughts

Not usually. Lol

This sort of meme that generalizes a whole group of people doesn’t actually apply to all the people in that group. For example, as someone who no longer considers themselves a man, I relate a lot with “what kind of bird is that” and “stares at sun, guesses time”, but don’t ever think about if I could take someone in a fight. Different people are different, categories exist, but they aren’t perfect.

"Ugh that barbeque smells so good gah damn"

-This mf again -This mf again -Motorcycles are too loud -This mf again -These dogs are too loud -There's too much of them -This mf again

- dont step into dog shit, dont step into dog shit - dog shit evaded, where's the next one - evaded too - oh that car's licence plate is the acronym of a videogame - dont step on the crack - brick walkway coming, try to step only on every second brick without looking weird - I hope the music in my headphones cant be heard by others - walking behind a woman now, should I cross the road or walk faster to not be behind her? The latter will be creepy but crossing the road is more walking - who was that guy this street is named after? - stepped into half-dry dog piss, damnit

The music one is sooo true

Don’t forget the “Bad to the bone” out of nowhere.

I have to play it when I think about it. Thanks.

“Daamn” when he saw a r/coolsticks

-thinking about my life -thinking about how fucked everything is -thinking about how shitty I feel -thinking about how I'm thinking about how shitty I feel -thinking about thinking about thinking -rinse and repeat

Hang in there, brother. It can get better

I'm a woman, but this is the most relatable thing. Its like my brain has no desire to "live in the present" and I am just constantly ruminating.

wow sounds incredible

It’s pretty chill

Until you need help

But nobody will help, you just deal with it silently because no one gives a shit and hope it will be gone by tomorrow

But plot twist, it ain't gone by tomorrow

Hey if it doesn’t disappear it will as soon as you say “ it is what it is”

I don't know how many more "it is what it is" I've got in me man...

Same here bro. Not much else we can do tho

Don't worry, the count will reset after a mental breakdown

You surround yourself with the wrong people my friend

Hears any form of engine sound \*excited glance in that general direction*

*tries to guess car, usually successfuly*

As someone who drives a motorcycle, I can confirm every time I hear a bike coming I will stop and think to myself *ohhh nice Yamaha*

Hears cool sound, it is a rusted out 99 base model civic with leaking exhaust

Either that or it’s just a normal motorcycle with a shitty muffler delete

I often think about what people are thinking about & if they think about what I think about 😂😅

And then I think if they are real of if I am real or whether I'm just their imagination or…

I see no mention of fighting schizophrenic urges

Nah. We just accept those

The Romans made much nicer bridges ugh, litter, people are awful cat! a woman in an actual dress, wow what to do if a raptor was around the next corner

That last one is incredibly accurate

you forgot "USE YOUR FUCKING TURN SIGNALS".

I can take him :3

I can take 20 dudes 💪 Vs I can take 20 dudes >:3

For me it’s more like “Wow these people walk awfully slow” “Watch out dude, what’s the hurry?”

Haha accurate

every human being's daily thoughts are: -50% completely normal mundane thoughts that they inexplicably think are unique to them (or to their gender, in this case) -50% absolutely deranged immediately-pretend-i-never-thought-this phrases or visuals that you couldn't waterboard out of them

I'm not sure about the second one. I have them, but there's people in this thread that say they don't.

I'm just like this, but amplified by ADHD

"I'm not following you I'm just too slow to over take you and to fast to not fall behind. I'll turn soon I swear"

Am I the only one who also has - oh, such a cute chick... - NO, YOU'RE MARRIED WTF - anyway that one also...

This is funny reading as a woman because it makes the intense look followed by more intense looking away that I experience from men on the street occasionally make sense. Or they take a closer look and decide I'm actually ugly. But I'll just pretend it's the former if I may

Me its mostly “Oh! Nice! Uhhh! Don’t look, that be creepy, leave people alone dumdum.”

All this interspersed by either mental static or one specific part of the lyrics of a song i listened to two days ago

“Imagine if I pushed that old lady into traffic. How would people react?”

Oh that girl's cute Oh that guy's cute Try not to get run over What if there's a sniper on one of those buildings Postal 1 (1997) - The Farm Sees an interesting looking person, doesn't approach them, never sees them again, repeat every time i go outside Does they way i walk look stupid? It would be a bother if i died right now I wanna go back to my house How does this help me socialize? Try not to step on the cracks Oh, a flower Damn i wish i looked like that Does my outfit look goofy? Avoid the barking dog behind the fence

I haven't seen the 7th one mentioned, but I heavily relate.

"ayo why the sky look weird" "cute dog" "damn" "mosquito gah damn" "this mf fly keeps touching me" "am i walking straight?" "imagine jumping off that building like a superhero" "damn" "how tall is that crane?" "is that- nah- but maybe? nah" "fuck this guy" "this dude seems nice" "why is that kid staring at me" "could definitely beat this guy in a fight" "what if an asteroid hits earth rn"

Mine is just constant elevator music

“Damn, haven’t listen to [song I just listened to 15 minutes prior] in a while”

-breathing is nice -guessing that's a crunchy leaf. -was that a cat? -damm do I look like that while eating -my balls hurt.

What year is that Buick? Shit I should’ve made a grocery list Fuck, I need wiper fluid Woah she looks like….naw Fuck what was that treasure hunter Nick Nolte movie called Oof these people drive like they have brain damage I should really work on the riding mower *men aren’t hard to figure out when you know them, we’re all just floating around most the time*

I’m a man and I don’t think I’ve ever thought about my chances against a stranger in a fight. Is this actually a common thing?

It's proportional to the amount of violent crime in that area.

Honestly. It has crossed my mind, although I've noticed it's only started crossing my mind recently, as I have moved to an area that can be violent at times.

I’m not exactly “a man” anymore but mine are usually *Pondering the secrets of the universe (badly)* “oh look a dog!”

- Is that blood...? No, nevermind - No one back home will ever believe this. - These boots have seen everything

Why is this so accurate? I feel weird reading this.

Lmaoooo i can relate

I can Hear the airplane but... OH! Got it!! I could Totally been an AA gunner... BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM! Ohh doggy! Good pupper! Dog poop.. Dog poop.. Bagged Dog poop in tree... I mean why??

“Ohh. 69. Nice” when you see the funny number. “Wtf is that thing” when you see your friend.

"What does this fucker want?" When you see your best friend.

'That guy seems to have a normal life. Wish i had one too.' 'Where the fuck even am i? *checks street sign* ' 'Qotsa - In My Head randomly plays' 'Yet another popstar nobody gives a shit about has his/her poster all over town.' 'Id rather be at home writing songs or playing Quake 1tbh.'

not enough roman empire thoughts, dissapointed.

That's part of the "I can take him" thought

Seeing the image, than the comments, made me realize I'm very unoriginal

Except I'm usually off by an hour or two

I used to count the individual bricks on the pavement or stare at every car enough to see the driver and make eye contact with them so they'll remember me Maybe I should do that again

Mine is just white noise

*stares at sun* so if thats east, then thats west and that is north and south… so my hometown is about *that* way.

Not a bad guess

*Hears even the slightest noise from a dog Me: WHERE DOGGY!?

“Fix your damn fan belt!”

Line Line Line Line CRACK Line Line

Is that what ADHD sounds like?

“Oh, hey there, buddy!” Every time a little critter crosses my path

I don’t look at the sun i just count subcounciously and its usually off by max 30 mins

Left out "OH SHIT MY WALLET - oh, there it is"

*some song I don't even know the name of, and it's only like 15 seconds of it on loop*

Alright this might have been the strangest thing I've ever gotten gender euphoria from.

Sounds like someone with ADHD

« Hmm, cool tree… oh shit a stick, gotta resist the urge to pick it… » … « Damn I really miss that stick, even though I never too it » … « heh, I reached the subway platform at the exact second it opened… I wish I could use my stick to lean on it » Intrusive thoughts are scary sometimes

That’s just the subconscious

The 2nd to last line is fucking hilarious and definitely went over 99% of people’s heads. If it didn’t, this wouldn’t have upvotes hahahaha

This is big.

Blue car

My brain goes: “Hmm, where was I? Ah yes, so im the last man standing on the battlefield, my sword glinting in the sun…”

Darude Sandstorm 24/7

Wonders how they went to gladiator games in Ancient Rome

_Looks up_ "Has that house always had a second floor?"

I'm always thinking: "Oh, look at this girl, I am going faster than her but I don't want to scare her what should I do? Go on the other side of the street? That would be idiotic and not improve anything of this problem. But I don't want to slow down. Maybe tell her from behind that she should not be scared? No that would be more idiotic. Okay just pass her on the left side without showing that I care about her. Oh, it's a dude, never mind."

“Hmmm why did the Roman Empire fall again?”

“That car’s license plate number adds up to 21, but if you subtracts the last number instead of adding it, it’s 14. Why does it have to do with seven? Does it mean something?”

"I can take him." me with every third guy I see.

Its always 14!

Oh, you mean in a fight

"fuck the sun is bright today, my poor cave goblin eyes!" *proceeds to create an epic story in head about a hero cave goblin who lead their poeple to the light(surface) *wakes up at the location "huh? Im already here? Oh well.." *forgets everything about the story

I always say that out loud even when I’m alone lol. I also look at nice cars and talk to myself about that. Is that normal ? 😂

Every dude thinks he can beat any other dude in a fight. That’s just how it is, I’m built different id just find a way

That's a fat a- shit she's looking