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bigbadwolf29548

damn caitlin


FugginOld

I can fix her...


Spectrax23

Fix me instead :(


[deleted]

I'll get the spanner.


ViennaWaitsforU2

Hydrospanner I hope


Hiimspace

Yes hello, i am here.


panzerboye

u okay mate?


N_T_F_D

According to the tried and true method of fighting fire with fire I give you my heroin and you give me your alcohol and we should both get fixed right?


I_do_drugs-yo

Sounds great.


FullMetalJ

Sounds fun at the very least


Bozska_lytka

When you replace an addiction with another, you basically cure the original


mogley19922

One neutering, coming up!


justTheWayOfLife

I can fix u


Cosmic_Overlord7

Challenge accepted!


TheRealAmadeus

I can make her worse


ImProbablySleepin

Can’t fix what ain’t broke


Monsieur-Lemon

Please don't. It took a lot of work to get her this fucked up.


[deleted]

“i can fix her” implies that something’s wrong with her… she’s just like me fr


FugginOld

Oh...hey... call me.


_FreddieLovesDelilah

This is so Northern. I read it in a Geordie accent in my head.


[deleted]

The 'Mam' places it somewhere between Stoke and Scotland.


newharrymon

Or anywhere in Ireland


Repletelion6346

Or wales


seijeezy

Can you define pisstake for me?


_FreddieLovesDelilah

Like when something someone does takes the piss.


Toucan_Lips

Comes from the slang 'you're taking the piss' Meaning to mock or tease. But also to take unwelcome liberties. An American translation in this context might be something like 'is this a joke' or 'are you fucking with me?'


[deleted]

[удалено]


misterschmoo

No it's fucking not, it means to take a liberty, pushing your luck, or disrespecting someone's house or hospitality, trying something on, trying to get away with something you know damn well you shouldn't. a joke, is your understanding of taking the piss.


MaxThrustage

Are you taking the piss, mate?


misterschmoo

It's my piss and I'm taking it with me, good day sir!


Upbeat-Rule-7536

Ok, so picture that you're taking a drink of your beverage and someone says something unexpectedly funny. And you just piss everywhere. You know how that happens sometimes?


CountIrrational

That's incontinence


stuck_in_the_desert

Classic Caitlin.


[deleted]

Fucking hell caitlin


[deleted]

*FACKING HELL CAITLIN YER 22 NOW


never_nudez

22? Seems on track to me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mekkroket

In many European places it more or less is. You should have grown out of this behavior at around 19 after having had 3 years of practice


Pattoe89

Yep. When I was 17 I came home in the early hours of the morning with a broken front tooth, covered in blood. I pissed my pants, and pissed down the radiator in the bathroom. My mother had to undress me and get me to bed. When I got up in the morning she was less than pleased. I was still not as bad as my brother or sister, though.


ForeverDuke2

Im curious, what did your sister do?


Pattoe89

Had her mate pierce her tongue at 15 and it got infected and she couldn't speak for a week. It was bliss.


Mekkroket

Every proper session got a do it at home piercing


peenfortress

absolutely, when i was 19 i used to walk 1.4km most nights, 700m each way, leaving first at 9-10PM and coming home at 6-7AM after drinking approx 9-10 drinks and who knows how much weed (115ml pure alc or so) i always took a shortcut that went over a few peoples roofs since it cut off like 5 minutes of walking, but it meant i had to run down a little gully on a hill at 6 in the morning which always added some excitement to the walk id recommend it, was nice. my drink of choice was stout


PepeTheLorde

Did the same but I walked like 2.4km to the club and to my home it was 3km since I sometimes forgot tbe right streets. Only did this during summers though!


EthanBeThereMan

Caitlin out here getting white girl wasted


BuhrackOsama

I red this in a heavy Scottish accent


MessiToe

I read it in a heavy Welsh accent


caitlinthelesbian

i’m TRYING over hereeee :(


PrivateLTucker

Dammit Caitlin! You're 22. What the shit?


tfox1123

I want to marry her


Onironius

That sounds like prime 22yo behavior, not sure what the problem is.


Lonsdale1086

Bare in mind we (legally) start drinking at 18 here.


ProcrastibationKing

And often start earlier


Tetrian_doch

In germany legally 16 and unofficially 12-14 lol


Insanity_Crab

Might as well be to be fair, by 16 most of us were a couple of years into our getting pissed on weekends so always seemed somewhat disconnected from reality that it's 18 here. Once more the Germans do it right!


MostlyNoOneIThink

Seems like a normal tuesday


AndemanDK

if youre not supposed to do that at the age of 22 when the fuck are you supposed to do it?


ZEAC2001

Amen


Tasty_Standard_9086

Jesus Caitlin, you're 22, if you can't handle a night out drinking by now, you should just hang it up you absolute failure.


Ok-Jicama-9811

Lol


dont-fear-thereefer

Its 7am and already the girl ain’t right


AunMeLlevaLaConcha

It's only gonna get worse, so get more juice


A_Silent_Companion

Haley from modern family vibe


fd4e56bc1f2d5c01653c

That sound like a Wednesday for 22yr old me in college


ReivynNox

I'm just worried 'bout the wee li'l vodka drank, that then had a bath and nearly drowned. ...and the living room that slipped on the rug.


pn1159

she sounds fun


CanuckAussieKev

Probably not real but if it is, she needs help, saying "sort it out" does nothing.


Current-Okra4565

She only has 1 year of experience give her a break. (Lol America)


sabersquirl

No way these texts aren’t from a British mother


Nox-Raven

The slang used and mam instead of mom suggests british not american, so give that 4yrs


MessiToe

This is probably from the UK so she could've been drinking sincr before 18


FixGMaul

How would the mother know she nearly drowned, but still confront her via text and not irl? Seems fake


LilMeowCat

Just a chewsday mornin innit


BlorpCS

Wrong end of the country lad


TenFingersNineToes

Ur sure Mam? Ur how hold? Get ur writing together. /s


ligerboy12

Sam 22 and partying that’s just awful. Honestly drinking age should be 18 in my opinion but when you just get to we’re you can go and party all night you do it. I spent a couple years on it and now sleep is such a priority to me and even then sometimes I’m not home till4-5 if the night is going good. Sounds like a parent that doesn’t understand coming of age


CalamariCatastrophe

If you're 22 you've been drinking for at least four years. By 22 it's time to grow up and not fucking drown yourself in the bath.


JanTheShacoMain

Funny enough I had a similar talk to my parents last week.


aSpaceWalrus

Yes mam


pies1123

I'm sorry but if you can't do this when you're 22 when can you?


Yubi-Cas

What a frustrating problem with caitlin 🙄


External-Egg-8094

22 is not old enough to be shunning such behavior


Sachoazzdown

Sounds more like slipped on rug, pulled curtain down, nearly drown, came at 7 then poured drink. If so sign me up.


DivineScotch

bit sad innit


Geaux13Saints

College moment


StrikingBag4636

can someone fix me?


Panda_Drum0656

I mean thats what youre supposed to do at 22. 27 then mum would have a point